It was an incredible week of insights and aha moments. And the most amazing thing for me was to see how much of the information being shared by these high level business executives, authors and experts in the field of Emotional Intelligence could be applied to areas other than business!

Fyi: If you haven’t had a chance to listen, the replays are available through the end of the week.

One of the biggest “AHA” moments for me was during Chip’s interview with Café Gratitude founders Terces and Matthew Englehart, authors of the book, Sacred Commerce. At one point Matthew was sharing one of the communications techniques they use in the restaurants when there is a conflict or tension between employees.

As the two, or more, employees share what they are thinking they begin with the phrase, “I’m making up a story that…”

It is such a simple technique and yet the power in those 6 words is incredible.

Think about it: How many times have you made up a story in your head about someone or a situation that ended up having absolutely no connection to reality?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably done it once or twice… or maybe like a few thousand times!

This technique struck me as such a powerful way to diffuse the charge that builds up when our minds start spinning out in a direction that usually is not based on anything other than a limiting belief.

I know that I make up stories all the time about being abandoned. That’s my “core wound.” And it’s very easy for me to spin out into a detailed storyline about how I’m being abandoned by my partner whenever she does something that activates that wound in me.

Since hearing that interview last week, I’ve made a commitment to myself to use the phrase, “I’m making up a story that you’re pulling away”… or “you’re getting ready to leave”… or, well you get it.

Using that phrase does two very important things:

First, for my partner, it lets her know I’m aware that I’m speaking from the wounded place in me and that I’m not saying this story is true and I’m not saying that she’s doing anything wrong. When I speak from that place it allows her to hear me without going into defensiveness.

Second, for me, it immediately diffuses some of the charge around the story. By using those words I’m letting myself know that it’s just a story. As with most stories, there may be an element of truth to it, but it is not the whole TRUTH. And when I’m able to take that step back from seeing the story as TRUTH I am more able to listen to and really hear my partner’s experience – even if something she says seems to confirm my belief in the story – and feel her love and our connection.

It is a powerful technique that can be put into use in all relationships, work, romance, friends, family. And it’s a tool you can use on your own.

Again, if you’re like me, you’ve got an imagination that loves creating stories. The next time you catch your mind going into that cycle see if you can stop yourself and say, “I’m making up a story that…” You might find that just recognizing that you are creating a story will help you come back to the TRUTH.

Try it out today and let me know what happens. I’d love to hear your experience with it.

He stood, feeling the fear of his people, the pain of the farmers, the hunger of the children. He let this fear, pain and hunger flow into his awareness, fill him up, take him over. He allowed the memories of past droughts and the grief they left in their path swallow him. He let the fear, pain and sadness of his people awaken the places of fear, pain and sadness within himself.

He focused on the sadness: Of the mothers who could not feed their children, the farmers who could not provide for their families and communities. He let this sadness grow inside. He let himself open to the cleansing that needed to move through him.

Soon the tears began to flow, just a trickle at first as he opened his heart fully to the sadness and welcomed in the cleansing. And as the tears began to flow, those watching from below saw clouds begin to gather. Slowly at first, then more rapidly, the blue sky turned grey. Darker and darker the sky became until a shout was heard, “Rain!”

Soon others joined in, shouting with joy and gratitude as they, too, felt the drops of rain beginning to bring their cleansing, regenerative power to the land.

Before long, the people in the valley below could no longer see the Rainmaker standing above. He was lost in the rain and clouds. But still, he stood, finding the places within himself that needed to be cleansed, opening himself up to those places where sadness and grief lived within himself so that he could call forth the cleansing rains and bring healing and hope to the land and to the people.

Scientists have told us that it’s impossible to control the weather. There are too many factors and variables. But for millenia, the mystics and shaman of many traditions have demonstrated that it is possible to influence the weather.

Possible. Not possible. Who can really say. All I know is that there sure seems to be a correlation between my emotional state and the weather. Now there is the chicken and egg question that can be asked here: Which comes first, the rain to help remind me that there is some place inside me that needs cleansing or the places inside me that need the cleansing?

It doesn’t really matter, although I admit it can be fun to imagine that my emotional state influences the weather!

What matters to me is that I don’t just dismiss the weather as an unrelated external factor. II believe there IS a connection between what is happening inside of me – and YOU – and what is happening in the world around me, including the weather.

We are all interconnected. You’ve heard the phrase “as above so below” or “get the inside right and the outside follows.” Our inner world and the external world that we see and experience are intimately connected. So whether or not my internal state has an impact on the weather, I have begun looking at the weather as more than a random external circumstance. Instead, look at the weather as a literal barometer and reflection of something inside of me.

For instance, this morning I woke up to a dense fog. Instead of moaning and complaining, I asked myself, what is this fog here to remind me?

The answer came back immediately: “You don’t need to know the outcome, just take the next step.”

So often I find myself wanting to know the outcome, the final destination. I want to be able to see where the path in front of me is leading. There is definitely a bit of that happening in my life right now. Lots of changes and unknown variables have left me feeling a bit off balance and uncertain about how to proceed. In fact, I had a difficult time falling asleep last night because my mind was so busy trying to figure out all the possible permutations and twists and turns in the road in front of me.

This morning, the fog reminded me, in very clear terms that I don’t need to know what happens beyond today, or even what happens beyond this very moment. I don’t need to see where the path I’m on is leading.

I only need to take the next step. And when I take that next step, the step after it will become clear. If I just continue taking one step at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, I know that I’ll get to where I’m going… even if I don’t know where that is!

So, if you woke up to fog this morning, let go of the need to know where Life is leading you and ask yourself what the very next step is that you can take in this moment.

If you woke up to rain, ask yourself what places inside of you could use a little cleansing.

And if you woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning, enjoy the vista, know that you are in a place where you CAN see the possibilities and potential that awaits you as you move forward. But remember, you still have to take that next step… and the one after that… in order to get to where this incredible Life is leading you.

And remember, it really IS possible that YOU are controlling the weather!

Don’t forget to leave a comment below. I’d love to hear about your experiences of controlling the weather!

If you’re like most of us, the answer to that question is a resounding YES!

How about when…

• the teacher called on you in school and you didn’t know the answer?
• or coming home to an empty house after a breakup?
• or someone you love has passed on?
• or a friend is late (or forgets about) a meeting?
• or someone you love forgets your birthday?

Sometimes, even standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, surrounded by hundreds of people, a feeling of aloneness can creep in and we find ourselves retreating further into the perception that we are alone.

To some extent we all feel this aloneness and it impacts every aspect of our lives.

Eckhart Tolle speaks of Alienation, which the dictionary defines as:  Isolation from a group or an activity to which one should belong or in which one should be involved.

He writes:

“Most people are alienated from who they are… Alienation means that you don’t feel at ease in any situation, any place, or with any person, not even with yourself. You are always trying to get “home” but never feel at home.”

I can relate to feeling ill at ease. Here’s one of the strange ways that feeling has shown up in my life. You know those signs in some stores that say, “Please check your bags at the counter?” For many years, I felt so out of place in this world that if a store didn’t have a bag check I would ask if I could leave my bag at the counter anyway. If they said “No,” and I had to walk around the store with my backpack, I would feel paranoid the entire time that they thought I was going to steal something. And no, I don’t have kleptomaniac tendencies!

It was just one of the quirky ways that my sense of alienation manifested.

Now, obviously that particular expression of alienation didn’t have a huge negative impact on my life. But when that deep feeling of not belonging in the world showed up in my relationships, it did!

Because I believed, so deeply, that I am alone, I acted in ways that helped prove that belief. I kept people at a distance. I pushed people who loved me away. I resisted deep connections and intimacy.

Not the most effective and enjoyable way to live!

And while I have gotten MUCH better at opening up to people and loving them and allowing them to love me, I still do catch myself, from time to time, acting from the belief that I am alone.

Now, when I notice myself pushing someone away or holding myself back from a connection, I stop and remember that it’s the perfect time to love myself and feel into the truth that I am deeply and intimately connected with all that is.

Remember that “Contrast” – the things in our lives that we don’t necessarily like – shows up to point out something obvious that we’re forgetting. When I catch myself relating to someone else in an unloving way, it’s time for me to stop and find the place inside myself that feels unloved or unlovable.

The more I do that, the more open I become to truly deep, intimate, loving connections with others… as well as with myself and, most important, with Source or God.

So the next time you feel alone or you catch yourself pushing someone away, I encourage you to take a moment to stop and find the place inside you that is asking for love, that is asking to be welcomed home.

The more that you can remember your connection to all that is the more you’ll shift that feeling of Aloneness to ALLOne Ness!

The desire to contribute to the highest good of all is strong in most modern day mystics. We see the problems in the world. We feel the pain and suffering of those around us as well as those far away. We resonate with the Earth as she experiences the sometimes devastating changes that our actions create.

In the face of such seemingly overwhelming “problems” the desire to make massive, positive changes can be quite strong. We want to make a difference. But not just a little difference… we want to make a BIG one!

Ironically, it is that very desire to make a BIG difference that paralyzes so many modern day mystics! We wait until the moment when everything feels right and our ducks are all in a row and the guidance or inspiration for action comes and we KNOW that we’re going to make that BIG difference.

But when will everything be just right? When will we feel strong enough, healed enough, focused enough, enlightened enough to make a difference that is big enough? We won’t. Which is why starting NOW is so important.

Have you ever acted in a play? I acted in high school and again after college in several community theater performances. And even at that level it was interesting to observe how we all wanted the starring role!

Let’s face it, most actors dream of being the “star.” Very few people go into an acting career with a vision of making a career as a “walk on” or even a supporting actor for that matter. They want to see their name in lights and be listed first in the credits. That’s a great dream!

But, more often than not, they WON’T get a starring role. It’s just a numbers game: Think about how many starring roles there are versus how many aspiring actors there are!  There just aren’t enough opportunities for everyone to be the star – at least in Hollywood!

And while it can be a bit romantic to imagine that the big stars we see on screen were “discovered” the truth is that most of the big name actors have worked their butts off getting whatever parts they can and showing up fully in the best and biggest way they know how… even for those small and in some cases insignificant roles. They knew that the more fully they showed up for the small parts the more likely it is that they would get noticed and get invited to audition for a larger part next time.

Eventually, if they keep showing up and keep playing those supporting roles in the biggest and best way they know how, they MIGHT get one of those starring roles they’ve dreamed up.

Life is like that. Most of us want to be the star. We want to play a big, important part in this performance that we call life. But the truth is that if you look at our “roles” through our cultural lens of importance, there are very few “starring” roles.

On the other hand, if you look at your “roles” in terms of what really makes a difference, you have the potential to be in a starring role all the time! In fact, no one else in the world, no one else in all of time and space, can play the part that you have been assigned. No one else has the same unique mix of qualities, insights, talents, skills, experiences, and gifts. Only you can be the star in the part you have come here to play.

That part is yours and yours alone. And whether our culture sees it as a “starring” role or a supporting role doesn’t matter. Because, in the end, you ARE the star of YOUR life and you have absolutely no idea how the role you play is going to impact the course of this world.

Native Americans tell us that our actions impact the next seven generations. Can you see seven generations from now? Can you know the potential power of your actions as their impact, like the ripples from a pebble thrown in a pond, grows and spreads out through those next seven generations? Probably not!

What if a simple smile that you share with someone changes the course of their life? What if you smiled at a young man walking down the street, not knowing that he was feeling down, despairing, confused and uncertain what to do next? And what if your smile, for whatever reason, gave him hope? What if that was exactly what he needed to take his next step and enroll in college and get his science degree? And what if he goes on to a PhD program and becomes a core member of the team that discovers the cure for cancer?

And what if you will NEVER (in this lifetime) know that you were the one who gave him the strength and courage to take that next step.

We can never know the impact of our actions. A friend of mine, Liz, recently celebrated her birthday with a Purification Lodge Ceremony. While the fire was heating the stone people, I was talking with one of her friends who had been a student of mine seven or eight years ago. As we talked, she reminded me that she and Liz had actually met at that class and have since become close friends. And she told me that what she had learned in that class continued to influence her work and life and that it had been a key factor in her decision to enroll in a master’s program in transpersonal psychology.

It was eye-opening for me to hear. I had quite literally forgotten about that course and it made me realize just how easy it is to underestimate and even disregard the impact of our actions.

Look, life doesn’t care if you are the star! The truth is, to Life you ARE the star in each and every moment… no matter what you are doing!

The point is, don’t wait for your “starring” role since it might never come. Jump in and give all you’ve got to whatever role you are playing right now. This IS your starring role! The part you play in this life, whether large or small, is absolutely needed. You hold a piece of the puzzle that no one else does. Don’t wait. Don’t squander your time here waiting for the call to come. Get out there and make yourself count no matter how small or insignificant you feel your part is.

Are you groaning now, waiting for the punchline that I found them on the top of my head?

Well I’ve done that with sunglasses, but in this case it was actually much more ludicrous than that. I suddenly started hearing the song, “I can see clearly now…” And it dawned on me to wonder how I’m able to actually look for my glasses without needing to squint and bend down close to the places where I’m looking.

D’Oh! I’m wearing my glasses.

That’s a true story. It’s happened to me more than once, fortunately, not in quite a while!

It really does happen. If you wear glasses it’s probably happened to you once or twice!

It comes down to belief. In that moment, when I was searching for the glasses that were actually on my face, somehow the belief that I have misplaced my glasses is strong enough to make me overlook the reality that I can actually see – which means that what I’m looking for is actually right here.

Beliefs are extremely powerful, so powerful that they have the capacity to obscure and distort our “reality.” By now I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the indigenous people who were unable to “see” the three-masted schooners anchored in the bay. The possibility of that type of vessel existing was so far outside their belief system that reality actually distorted to make those ships invisible to them.

It was not until the Shaman of the tribe had meditated and done ceremony to expand his belief system and open up his vision to that possibility that the other members of the tribe were able to see the ships.

True Abundance is like that. You ARE True Abundance. That is your nature. It is all around you. It is within you. It is the very essence of who you are. But the belief that you are NOT True Abundance has you convinced that you have to go find it. So you look around, always looking, always seeking, never realizing that what you seek is actually right here, right now, within you.

That which you seek – Abundance, Joy, Love – is what you truly are. It is not out there somewhere for you to find. It is your essence.

You don’t find TRUE Abundance. You ARE TRUE Abundance. Rather, you remember it. Just as I didn’t “find” the glasses I was seeking, I came to realize or remember that I was actually wearing them, you can’t find what you are, you can only realize and remember it.

Take a moment to let go of the belief that abundance is something ‘Out There.” Let go of the idea that Abundance is something you attain. Open to the truth that abundance is something you ARE, right now. Yes, even in this moment. Even with your fears and doubts and worries, abundance is here, right now. Breathe it in.

Stepping into TRUE Abundance is as easy as “finding” the glasses that you’re already wearing. It is as simple as letting go of the belief that has you convinced that you can’t “see.” You can see. You can feel. You can KNOW and experience TRUE Abundance right now. All you have to do is believe. All you have to do is trust… All you have to do is remember that you are already “wearing” abundance.

Stop looking for it and start LIVING it. Start living as if you can see the abundance all around you. Start living as if you feel the abundance flowing through you. Start living as if you can recognize the abundance in every situation and all the people who come into your life. Start living as if there is nothing but abundance. For abundance is truly all there is. And you are truly abundant.

You are already wearing the glasses you seek. The lens of abundance is already in you. It IS you. Now go out and live your life of TRUE Abundance!

Your partner in TRUE Abundance

Edward

Yes… that’s one poem EVERY DAY!

And, much to the dismay of his poetry students at Lewis and Clark University, he assigned them the same “homework:” One poem a day for the entire semester!

I can just imagine the groans and complaints that followed that announcement. But when the students asked how it could be done, he replied simply, “Lower your standards.”

Perfection is An Abundance Killer!

Perfection is one of the most effective abundance killers! I should know, I’m a recovering perfectionist and I can look back and see all of the times that I have let my desire to be “perfect” get in the way of abundance.

When perfectionism takes over, nothing you do or create can ever be good enough. And if you don’t believe that anything you do or create is good enough it’s going to be awfully difficult to feel excited about sharing what you do with others.

And isn’t that what abundance is all about? In order to receive abundantly, you MUST be willing to share abundantly. Perfectionism breaks that cycle before you can even begin sharing! Not a great way to start your journey to TRUE Abundance

When I first heard that story about William Stafford, many years ago, I thought he must have been crazy!  “Lower my standards?”

The thought of lowering my standards flies in the very face of my beloved and comfortable perfectionism. If I’m going to put something out in the world it had better be perfect. And, as far as my inner perfectionist is concerned, nothing will ever be perfect!

But see, there’s a key component to Stafford’s assignment that my inner perfectionist doesn’t quite get. Stafford never told his students to publish a poem a day. He told them only to write a poem a day, which is exactly what he did.

Crappy Is Good!

I bet if we could see some of his daily poems – the ones that did not get published – we would agree that many of them, perhaps most, were not so good. Some of them were probably pretty crappy! And I’m sure he’d agree with us as well.

But when you write a poem a day, you’ve got a lot to choose from. And out of those daily poems he found enough good ones to publish more than 50 books, one of which – Traveling Through the Dark – won the National Book Award for poetry. He was also awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship, a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship and held the post which is now called the Poet Laureate of the United States.

Clearly there’s something to this idea of “lowering your standards.”

Would you like to know how many “unfinished” essays, stories, newsletter articles, course outlines and book chapters I have stashed away on my hard drive? I bet you would! But I’m not going to tell you! Suffice it to say that by lowering my standards, not a whole heck of a lot, I’d have a lot more stuff out in the world.

And what if someone, just one person, happened to read one of those “extra” blog posts or newsletter articles? And what if that article was exactly the thing she needed to hear at that moment? What if lowering my standards helped to change her life for the better?

Is it worth it? Is it worth the risk that I might publish a crappy article every now and then? Is the possibility of being of service to more people worth lowering my standards? You bet it is!

Are You Ready for What God Sends YOU?

And what about you? What “articles” do you have sitting on your hard drive? What creation of yours is waiting to see the light of day because it is not yet “perfect?” What if you lowered your standards? Just a tiny bit. Just enough to finish it and get it out into the world.

Here’s my hope and my challenge to you: Can you lower your standards? Just a bit? Can you look through your hard drive, or your closet or workshop? Can you dust off your chisels or brushes, get out your business plan or novel and reawaken your creative dreams? Can you lower your standards just enough to get those creations, those ideas, those dreams that are waiting inside of you, out into the light?

If you find yourself stuck in the process, wondering if it’s perfect enough, remember this line from the last poem William Stafford wrote on August 28, 1993, the day that he died:

“Be ready for what God sends.”

Indeed, be ready for what god sends, and be willing to let it come through you and out into the light.

I look forward to seeing more of your creations out in the world!

Last night she got a scratch as she was reaching for one of those “best ones.” When she said, “Ouch, I got a scratch Dada.” I said, “Yes, that sometimes happens when you’re reaching for the one you really want.”

And as I said it I realized that this entire process of watching and waiting for the berries to ripen has been filled with powerful Law of Attraction lessons.

So in no particular order here are a few of the Law of Attraction Lessons the Blackberry Bramble has taught me:

1. Desires need time to ripen just like blackberries. Whenever you set an intention, there will be a period of growing and ripening. Patience is required during this time. If you pick a blackberry before it is ripe, the tartness or even bitterness fills your mouth. This can be an extra big shock for a mouth expecting the sweet juicyness of a ripe berry! So too, attempting to “pick” one of your desires before it is ripe can lead to disappointing results. Don’t be in such a rush to have your desire ripen. Give it the time it needs to become plump, juicy and sweet. And then truly savor the sweetness of it when the time is right!

2. It takes work to get what you want. Early in the season when the few ripe berries are hidden back deep in the brambles, you have to work to get them. You have to gingerly thread your hand in through the brambles reaching for that one that looks so plump and juicy back there. It is the same with our desires. Attaining them requires work. You need to focus on what you want and be willing to take the time and risk to work you way through the obstacles to get it.

3. Sometimes you’ll get scratched reaching for your desires. Blackberry brambles are quite adept at protecting their sweet prizes. If you’re not careful (and sometimes even when you are) you’ll end up with some scratches on your arms and legs. But (in my opinion) the reward of those sweet juicy berries is well worth it! Somehow the sweetness of that just-plucked blackberry immediately takes away the pain from any scratches you may have gotten. Likewise, when we reach for our desires, there may be some times that we get “scratched.” But if we can hold onto the taste of the sweet, juicy reward in our mind, those scratches will be worth it.

4. Desires have seasons. Right now we’re at the peak of blackberry season. And while that means that there are “best ones” everywhere we look. It also means that we are heading towards the end of the season when there will no longer be any blackberries. Already, with so many ripe berries on the bramble, there are far too many for us to pick. And every day we see more and more shriveled, dry berries that have gone past their prime. The Law of Attraction teaches the importance of continual expansion. When you attain one desire, enjoy it, savor it, celebrate it, but do not get caught in the trap of thinking that the process is over. Do not let yourself become dry and shriveled like those blackberries. When the season is over on one desire, move on to the next one. Enjoy the cycles of expansion.

What lessons have you learned from the blackberry bramble? Share them in the comments below!

Since I found out about this a couple of days ago I’ve been somewhat – to very – frantically seeking another speaker to step in at the last minute for tonight’s spot. And none of the folks I’ve contacted have been able to make it.

So last night – LATE – I got the message – loud and clear – to let go and trust.

What a relief it always is when I finally do let go and trust in the wisdom of Life! I could feel the tension release from my body and mind. After all, the worst that would happen is I would schedule the speaker for another date during the summit.

And this morning I found out why Life had different plans for me!

My daughter woke up with a tummy ache and ended up staying home from school. With her home, I haven’t been able to get some of the last-minute pieces in place for a call tonight, and she might not be feeling well enough to hang out with a babysitter later tonight.

What a mess that could have been… being on a live call with one of the speakers with a sick kid hanging out potentially needing my attention. Not sure how fully I would have been able to focus on the interview!

It’s just another reminder that Life is infinitely wiser than me!

Over and over again I’ve had experiences that have confirmed the truth that when I trust in the flow and rhythm of Life everything will work out!

And I must admit that I find it rather amusing (when I’m not kicking myself!) that I still have trouble trusting in the flow of Life. When Life has plans that aren’t exactly in alignment with mine I still feel the urge to push against those plans, trying to mold and shape Life to fit the picture I have in mind.

And how amazing it is that Life continues to have the highest good in mind when it “overrules” my plans!

This is big piece of what I consider to be the new model of manhood. In the old model, men were taught that imposing our will over other people, nature, the Earth and Life itself was the way to express ourselves as men. We were taught that we must be able to bend – and, if possible, break – the will of Life in order to prove ourselves.

Well, that model has definitely not worked. And, to be quite honest, I have a feeling that Life has been laughing herself silly watching us run around thinking that we’re getting her to change her course.

Patience is not one of the strong characteristics in the old model of manhood whereas LIFE has infinite patience.

Now it feels like the tide is turning. Life is ready to gently, and perhaps not-so-gently, remind us that force will never get her to change her course.

The way we get Life to change course is to, quite literally, BECOME LIFE. Men (and to a lesser degree women) haven’t been so good at that. Now is the time for us all to learn this new skill, one that will enable us to work in harmony with the flow and rhythm of life to create the New Earth that is awakening.

Have there been times in your life when Life has “overruled” your plans? How have you flowed with that? Are you able to trust in the wisdom of Life? Have you experienced this merging with Life? How does it feel, how do you know, when you are in union with Life?

Leave a comment below and let me know.

And if you’re interested in joining the Awakened Man Summit – that begins WEDNESDAY evening! – you can register for fre-ee here!

Awakened Man Telesummit – Begins Wednesday, may 25th!

Your partner in TRUE Abundance

Edward

Back then I did my best to avoid doing the right thing… or at least doing HIS right thing. Certainly, there was a good measure of youthful rebellion in that avoidance but there was at least an equal part of me that felt the mechanical, rote nature of his words. They felt empty and disconnected from a greater rightness that I sensed existed beyond the words.

If you had asked me back then I doubt that I would have been able to voice it but a part of me sensed that doing the right thing meant more than turning out the lights and sending thank you cards (although those are certainly good things to do!)

Now, though, when I hear those words coming from within, I find that I am grateful to have internalized this concept of “the right thing.” Not that I believe there is one “right” thing in a situation but because the question, “What IS the right thing?” opens me to bigger answers.

As the start of the Awakened Man Summit approaches and I dive deeper into the research and reading in preparation for it, I’m beginning to understand what it means to be an Awakened Man.

To be honest with you, when I got the “hit” to produce this summit, I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant to be an awakened man. I had a sense of what it meant, but no clear picture or definition. Now, with less than 2-weeks to the start of the summit, I’m starting to “get it!”

Letting Go!

A big part of awakening, as a man, means letting go of the old concepts of the “right thing.”

Until recently most men have chosen to follow a path of rightness handed down blindly through generations of men. This unbalanced expression of the active (masculine) principle that has defined what it means to be a man in our culture has led to violence, war, unchecked growth and the increasingly unsustainable condition of our world.

More recently, some men – myself included – have actively chosen another path, one that disowns the active (masculine) principle and intentionally embraces the softer, receptive, feminine principle.

While there is much benefit in “exploring the feminine” most of these explorations start in reaction to the belief that there is something “wrong” or “bad” about the active, masculine energy. In that place of reaction, where men are actively connecting to the soft, feminine energies and consciously (or not) disconnecting from the active, masculine energies the “right thing” has led to inaction and an abdication of responsibility.

Neither of these paths leads to the Authentic Power that a man can access and wield when he disconnects from the old beliefs about manhood, discovers his true purpose and surrenders his idea of rightness into the service of the highest good of all.

It saddens me to think that my father – like most men – has never explored the concept of rightness unhitched  from the yoke of manhood placed upon him by his forefathers (and mothers).

Rites of Passage

In most indigenous cultures there were, and remain, rituals of initiation to help boys make the transition from childhood into manhood. These rituals involve extended time in the company of men, away from the energy and influence of women. As these boys step through the fire of initiation they are unburdened from the need to act in ways that lead to approval and acceptance from the feminine.

These cultures understand the importance of guiding men out of the “womb” and into the world. For, in many ways, men remain connected to and immersed in the womb of “WOMAN” until consciously and actively choosing to release that connection and step out into the world “naked and alone” as an awakened, conscious, mature man.

Our modern culture lacks those rituals – or gives us watered down versions such as a bar mitzvah. So most men have not experienced the transformative possibility these rituals offer.

Until a man makes this choice and releases his attachment to the energetic womb of “WOMAN” he cannot show up fully as a man in the world or in relationship with a (singular) woman. There will remain within him an urge to answer the question “What is the right thing” based on whether or not it will lead to approval and acceptance from the energy of WOMAN.

The Hero’s Journey

Last night, I saw the movie Thor. It was a bittersweet experience: My beloved and I had been planning to see it together and it didn’t work out that way. We were in the midst of a relational opportunity… to choose to move forward and deeper into trust or to step backwards into distance and defensiveness. The jury is still out on which way we’ll end up going.

[Note that a slight movie “spoiler” follows!]

There is a scene near the end of Thor where he makes a decision to save many lives and an entire world. It is not a decision easily made, for in saving the lives of many he must cut the bridge that connects him to his beloved. In making that choice he knows there is a chance that his actions will forever separate them.

As he strikes the final blow that shatters the bridge he speaks the words, “Forgive me, Jane.”

If Joseph Campbell were here, he would tell us that, with that blow, Thor had completed his “hero’s journey.” He had learned to seek out, listen for and act upon a rightness transcendent to his own personal desires and even those of his immediate loved ones. He had become an awakened man and earned the right to become King.

While not nearly as dramatic as Thor’s actions, I made a decision yesterday to narrow my focus down to a laser point and put all of my time and energy into preparing for the Awakened Man Summit. I felt guided to stand in service of the highest good and consciously devote myself completely to this project.

In choosing that path and sharing my decision I knew that it could create a chasm between my beloved and myself.

It has.

Now I find myself standing at the edge of that shattered bridge wondering if I did, indeed, “do the right thing.”

Was the guidance I received authentic or was it coming from a place of fear?

Was my action truly “Awakened” or was I motivated by unconscious forces?

Will my beloved forgive me or have I permanently severed our trust and broken the bridge between us?

I don’t know the answers but I sense that asking these questions means that I am not far from the right path. My intuition tells me that my guidance was “right” but that I could have found a more graceful and elegant way to navigate those waters as I shared my decision.

Sin and Forgiveness

Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man, and one of the speakers in the Awakened Man Summit, once said, “Sin and forgiveness is a better way to handle relationships than the illusion of perfection. We learn from our mistakes.”

What a relief it was to hear those words and to let go of the “illusion of perfection” in my relationships. And, yet, what a difficult path to walk… to be open to the “sins” of your partner and your own, to be willing to forgive your partner and yourself, and to be willing to acknowledge and learn from your mutual mistakes and use those lessons to awaken more fully. What a blessing. And what treacherous waters you may (WILL) find yourself in when you choose to engage in relationship in that manner.

I have no illusions about being a “perfect” partner (except sometimes when I do!). Nor do I have expectations of perfection in my partner (except sometimes when I do!) To be quite honest, I have no idea what it would look like to BE a perfect partner or to HAVE a perfect partner!

Perhaps perfection is to be found on the path of surrendering the question, “What is the right thing?” again and again, into the service of the highest good.

It seems that my father’s refrain of “do the right thing, Edward” worked, though perhaps not in the way he intended. I truly do long to do the right thing. Perhaps that longing is enough. And perhaps the desire to do the right thing, combined with the willingness to learn from my mistakes will keep me moving forward on the path of awakening.

We’ll see!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment below!

“What sweetie?”

“I’ve got a loose tooth!”

“Yay. I’ll check it out in the morning.”

And, sure enough, in the morning I saw that Ella had her first loose tooth. Now having your first loose tooth is always a big moment for a child. But for Ella it was especially big since every other kid in her first grade class has already lost at least one tooth. So she’s been waiting, not always so patiently, for one of her baby teeth to loosen up and fall out.

And that, no-so-patient part came out the next morning when she tried to get that tooth out of her mouth! She tried grabbing it with her fingers and tugging it, wrapping string around it, eating “hard food” and asking me to wrap a string around it and tie it to a doorknob!

She’s discovering the contrast between human timing and divine timing, between our physical nature and our spiritual essence.

“We are spiritual beings have a physical experience.” I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Our spiritual essence exists as infinite, limitless consciousness outside of time and space. But while we are here, in this three-dimensional realm, having this physical experience we exist as individuals within the context of and seemingly under the influence of linear time and space.

Ironically, it is the very presence of time and space in the physical world that gives us the opportunity to remember and ultimately reunite with the timeless nature of our larger, non-physical essence. Part of our maturation process as spiritual beings involves awakening our capacity to acknowledge, honor and live fully engaged in both of these seemingly incompatible flows: The timeless and the time-bound.

Have you ever said something like, “There aren’t enough hours in the day,” or, “I just don’t have the time,” or, “We’re running out of time?” If so – and, let’s face it, who hasn’t? – you’ve experienced the disconnect between linear and non-linear time. You’ve lived with them out of sync, out of alignment.

When linear and non-linear time come into alignment the feeling that there is “not enough time” goes away. The timelessness of our spiritual nature seeps into your physical reality and opens you to an effortless flow. Synchronicity happens when linear and non-linear time are aligned.

Miracles happen!

Within the context of  our physical, human experience there are many ways that we can perceive and interact with time. In most cases we perceive time from a purely human, linear perspective. We have an agenda and a schedule and a chronological connection to the flow of time. In this place there is little room for the natural flow of life. If an unexpected traffic jam makes us late for a meeting it is difficult to expand out of linear time and open up to the larger perspective of non-linear flow.

Life often has a different take on “right timing” than we have in our minds. Our minds see the trees, sometimes opening up to see the forest. Life IS the forest. But it is also the trees, the fields, the rivers, the mountains, the earth and the sky.

When things don’t happen in your life in thetime-frame you have envisioned it is always an opportunity to open up to the perfection of non-linear or divine timing. I’m sure you’ve had at least one experience where you didn’t get something you really wanted in the time you wanted. And have you ever seen that disappointment open to an even better outcome an outcome that you probably couldn’t even imagine?

That is the beauty of Divine Timing. When you’re anchored in linear, physical time, it is difficult to see all the possibilities. But life’s little, and not so little, disappointments give you the opportunity to let go of your death-grip on linear time and open your vision and perspective to other possibilities and to the blessings and manifestations  awaiting you that are unimaginable to your linear,rational mind!

That morning, last week, I could see Ella grappling with the contrast between the timing of what she wanted from a physical and mental perspective versus the timing of the flow of life. Ella’s human, physical reality timing had that tooth out of her mouth right now! Life wasn’t in such a rush.

Her loose tooth was an opportunity to experience the contrast. And the next day, she got to experience the discomfort that we create when we push against the flow of life.

She was back at her mom’s and absolutely, definitely wanted that loose tooth out of her mouth. So they pulled it out! And since it wasn’t quite ready, wasn’t quite the right time, it hurt her a lot and caused some bleeding in her mouth so she had to “gargle a lot with yucky water!”

Maybe next time she’ll be willing to sit in the contrast and allow the tooth to loosen up until it gently and easily falls out on its own.

That’s the beauty of allowing divine timing to merge with linear time: life unfolds easily and effortlessly as you experience one “miracle” after another.

So today, watch for opportunities to relax into the unknowing of divine timing and allow life to unfold itself. And when you do, get ready for the miracles to begin!

Your partner in TRUE Abundance

Edward