The creative arts have been given to humanity to help us heal and express our emotions and for those more spiritually inclined can also help us connect to powers and energies greater than ourselves. To create is a natural urge that every teenager in the midst of teen angst knows. The relief of that maudlin poem or that furious painting or those piercings that express our anger and despair to the world or just for ourselves. 

A whole lot of that healing comes from telling our stories without interruption, without judgement. Writing out our feelings helps us understand them better. Sharing these feelings with others is empowering. Our voices are heard. Our side of the story, our experiences of the world are valuable and valid.

Often, I write to bear witness to the lives of lost loved ones, but there is another power of the written word – justice within a system not yet truly able to serve the needs of women, children or the Queer community.

Cathy Byrne’s brave memoir Some Justice is her justice, the justice she was unable to find through the legal system which still does not hear the voices of children. Crimes against children often go unpunished because the voices of children are disbelieved, ignored or belittled. It takes a courageous adult to take that fight on for the child they once were. 

Victims of childhood sexual and other kinds of abuse and assault are still asked, “What were you wearing?” as if any type of clothing or appearance somehow causes the crime. Blame of the victim is still rife. She must have done something. As if the perpetrators of the assaults were somehow controlled by the actions of a child. 

They are not.

Cathy’s fight for justice for the abuse she suffered over many years at the hand of her teacher goes further than Grace Tame’s advocacy of child victims in that it shows the impact of childhood abuse, forty years later. 

Abuse is not forgotten, it is hidden within the nervous system, which humanity is only beginning to explore and understand. And, because it’s hidden, grows larger and more powerful until, often at menopause, the wounded child erupts from the grown woman, full of confusion, rage and fear. If she has the courage, she fights for the justice denied her as a child. Cathy’s search for justice was not served well by the legal system as it now stands. Systems like state education departments have much more money behind them, yet the victim must risk paying the costs and, worst of all, first prove their own innocence.

My daughter once worked as a judge’s associate and attended many rape and sexual abuse cases. After these experiences she swore that she if she ever suffered a sexual assault, she would NEVER take a sexual assault case to court because she saw how very damaging and accusative the process was – retraumatising the victim. But what was she wearing? The victim blamed for the assaults, her whole lifestyle and clothing choices under examination. I don’t care if they walk around naked, they’re not inviting assault. It takes a strong person to stand up against not only their abuser but also to withstand the police procedures and legal interrogations. 

I am reminded of “Lucky Lane” a brave story in Queersland by Robbie Phillips who writes powerfully about his assault outside a club in the Brisbane Valley and his treatment at the police station. Gay Liddington’s beautiful memoir, Will I Ever Be Who I Am? finds the justice she was never given as a child for the abuse that happened within her own family home.

The fight for justice isn’t only through the courts. As Gay knows, and Cathy’s book Some Justice relates, the fight is often also with the family of the victim who refuse to acknowledge the abuse or its incomprehensible impact, because of the part they often unwittingly played in it. All those mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who looked the other way become angry with the victim and refuse to accept their truth because anything else is too painful. Writing for justice means your voice is heard even beyond family denials or minimisation.

It takes great courage to speak your truth and force others to see the crimes you experienced through your eyes. But you can! 

In writing and publishing your story, your truth is finally heard. The length of the skirt you wore isn’t called into question. Your natural energy and attractiveness aren’t a cause of the assaults. Not screaming for help is understood because of the power imbalances and terror perpetrators take great pains to instil in their child victims.

In many ways, for victims of childhood sexual crimes, until the legal system is reshaped from its original patriarchal model, Writing for Justice is the only way to have the voices of victims truly heard. The only way they can find Some Justice.

I’ll be launching Cathy’s brave and uniquely written memoir about her fight for Some Justice this coming Saturday 29 August at 2 pm at the warm and welcoming Books@Stones. The launch includes an opening address from Carol Ronken, Director of Bravehearts. Bravehearts is a leading Australian child protection organisation, dedicated to the prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse. 

The event is free but BOOK HERE! You can grab a copy there or BUY ONLINE HERE.

See you there!

Lots of love

Edwina  xx

I’ll be at Indooroopilly Library from 10am on the same Saturday 29/8 for a Lord Mayor’s Writer in Residence Author Talk about Dear Madman. FREE but BOOK HERE

Our Feedback Retreat gang 2026!

What a great joy it is to host these retreats in Springbrook a few times a year. So many wonderful women writers and my beloved retreataholics who make these weekends so much fun! And it’s always a pleasure to hang out with author of Will I Ever Be Who I Am? and chief cookie, the warm and nurturing Gay Liddington who cooked up a storm with the help of the lovely Rebecca Hall this time round. My beautiful helpers and upcoming authors to watch Liana Brown and Natasha Cox always bring smiles and are a great help to us all. Love you girls! And the wise and wonderful Monique brings her in depth body knowledge which she shares with us in a movement session and with her incredible bodywork treatments to get those stressed out bodies back to full strength.

Sunshine shone bright and sparkly all weekend as we delved deep into the heart of our works-in-progress. It was cold up in the mountains but perfect weather for writing on a blanket under the giant trees listening to the whip birds. The sun was too good to miss so most of our workshops were held outside on the porch. Sun on our backs, pen in hand. What better way to spend a weekend?

We had a fabulous group of writers of all levels of experience, from multi-published authors to complete newbies finding their way into their first book. Workshops, feedback groups, excursions to the waterfall (watch out! That’s a big drop!) and of course workshops to help you find the heart of your story and ensure your reader will keep turning those pages.

Plus my favourite part of every retreat – collage. We leave words behind and play with images to create vision boards of the futures we’d like to create for ourselves. With our lovely “kindy photos” showing off what we’ve made.

These retreats are about a whole lot more than writing (though of course that’s a vital element). People arrive frazzled and worn out from all the many roles women must perform these days, exhausted and pale and a little shutdown. By Saturday I start to notice more smiles, colour returning to cheeks, sparks of light in those eyes that had seen too much, friendships forming, ideas taking flight and epiphanies for stories and life changes. By Sunday we are all on a high from being together. There is magic in groups of women! I’m sure of it.

This retreat was over the Lion’s Gate Portal and a rare alignment of multiple planets so we took advantage of this and did a special intention setting ceremony – walking the 8 – to help manifest all our writerly and personal goals.

And of course between yoga sessions and intention setting and writing workshops, and feedback groups and chatting – a lot of feasting was done! Delicious vegetarian meals and treats considering all dietary needs, prepared with love and joy that fed our bodies and our hearts. What a treat it is to be cooked for – to spend the day writing and just turn up the kitchen to fill our plates!

Highlights of this retreat were the sunshine and smiles of retreaters. Our Readings Night on Saturday showcased the great talent in the room, had us laughing and oohing and aahing, and closed with a powerful chant.

In my heart, in my soul

In my blood, in my bones,

I am a powerful woman.

Changing, emerging, powerful, magical

Free!

Original woman.

We sang together and thumped the table and the powerful energy rising was tangible . Wise women are rising around the world and we are a part of all that. Rise women rise!

Rebecca hadn’t been writing at all but wrote a beautiful haiku that told the story of her retreat.

Here’s what some retreaters had to say about the retreat

The Relax and Write Retreat was a fantastic experience – whether you wanted to take a break from creative process and reset or sequester yourself in your room and complete a draft. Ed is a knowledgable and encouraging mentor committed to supporting you, wherever you are in your writing journey. It couldn’t recommend it more!

Naomi Jeffrey (R & W retreater August 2026)

Edwina’s Relax and Write retreats are the perfect way to recalibrate, to immerse yourself in writing and indulge in some solitude while connecting with like-minded writers. The seamless transition from activities like yoga and workshops to quiet writing and gathering around a table of delicious food was exactly what I needed to still my head and let creativity flow. I would highly recommend this retreat for anyone who longs for a safe and nourishing environment where you can let go and just be yourself.

Jo Skinner (R & W retreater August 2026)

This is the second time I have attended this retreat, and I will be back! After struggling for some time to get back into my writing, this was the perfect opportunity to absorb the beautiful surroundings and support of other retreaters. This retreat is more than workshops (though they are incredible). Speaking to other writers, great food, quiet time all contribute to an amazing experience. You can even get massages!

Robyn Ede (R & W retreater August 2026)

A wonderful writing retreat that holds and nurtures you as you progress your success in writing and publishing.

Dolores Cummins (R & W retreater August 2026)

Really loved this retreat! It was just what I needed. Perfectly structured. I loved the fact we could come and go at our own pace. It was just bliss.

Caroline Moon (R & W retreater August 2026)

Edwina is a gifted and generous teacher. Great inspiration for moving forward.

Jill Moonie (R & W retreater August 2026)

You helped me break through a stuck and stagnant point. And done with loving community. Perfect! I leave refreshed and focused.

Retreat participant August 2026 (R & W retreater August 2026)

Retreat happy snaps!

Love these weekend intensive retreats. Lots of learning packed in, a stunning location and all close to home. With such wonderful women. Love them to bits!

Relax and Write Retreats will be back in 2027! About to update the retreats page.

MEMOIR AND LIFE WRITING RETREAT – SPRINGBROOK April 9 -11

Best for memoirists and those exploring writing or just wanting to join the tribe and write in their rooms!

FEEDBACK AND REVISION RETREAT – SPRINGBROOK August 6 -8

Best for those reviewing a draft (complete or not) or those stuck partway or for those who want to develop a new idea more fully and make a plan.

And that’s a wrap! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, these retreats are only as good as the women who come along, and this one was a beauty!!

Lots of love

Edwina

Who’s talking? How many POV characters can we have? We have the woman on the phone, the older woman and the boy, plus the person on the other end of the phone line. Which one has most to lose? Who do we need to hear from?

Writers make choices all the time. One of the most important choices we make is who we choose to tell our stories. Selecting our ‘Point of View’ characters, or ‘Focalisers’ shapes the impact, focus and tone of our books. 

How do you choose which character will be your protagonist? Who will readers align with most? Whose actions and emotional epiphanies will lead the story and shape the plot? What other characters provide necessary juxtapositions to that viewpoint? What other insights can be gained from lesser characters and their perceptions of the protagonist?

William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying was one of the first novels I read that demonstrated how effective multiple viewpoints of the same situation can be. In this short novel, Faulkner examines the death of a patriarch and the impact on his family, through showing us all of their perspectives. The same situation through different eyes. Anyone with siblings will understand how we can experience the same event as children, but each have different memories of it. Existence is subjective and by using multiple points of view characters we can express this subjectivity and draw out interesting points of difference. 

Another great novel to study the use of multiple viewpoints is Barbara Kingsolver’s The Poisonwood Bible, which uses the voices of a missionary’s wife and children in Africa, even a very young child. Each of those voices is powerful and intimate and gives us insight, not only into the events of the story, but also into each character, as we see not only how they view themselves but how they are viewed by others and how each is impacted by the situation.

In Thrill Seekers I used three, first person voices. Brian, the eldest brother tasked with protecting his brother and mother after the death of his father; Douggie, the younger brother who develops schizophrenia and Beck, a girl in the neighbourhood entangled in the mess the boys make. The use of first person brings the reader as close as possible to the reader. First person, present tense is the most immediate and intimate of voices. I chose Brian to be the protagonist and to begin and end the story because he had most at stake. He was the one given the ‘quest’ of protecting the family so his struggle to do so shapes the narrative. Douggie’s voice gives the perspective of the son who has lost his battle with grief and his mind in the process. Beck provides a feminine view of the events and the boys themselves.

In Dear Madman I again used three main strands. I like the balance three brings and often warn writers of the dangers of only using two focalisers. This results in a battle for supremacy, whereas three strands weave together easily, like a plait. The murderer Joe’s voice, came to me so strongly I had no choice but to take dictation of his flood of excuses, blame and hopelessness. His voice was so strong it was a fight to contain him and wrest back control of the book. I attempted to balance his first-person rant with a more subdued third person omniscient (this means going into multiple character’s viewpoints within the same section) strand of the family members, with each expressing the impact of this man’s presence and actions throughout. Still the book’s balance wasn’t there until I added the third strand, my own memoir voice, interpreting and reflecting on my research journey and the intergenerational effects of violent crime. 

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR POV CHARACTERS?

1. Choose your protagonist – the character with a quest or question that must be answered. This character usually has the most to lose. Think about this throughout. What is at stake? What is the very worst that could happen to them? Make it worse.

• Will you have an antagonist? Is there a human adversary to your main character? Getting inside their head will give an interesting depth and perspective. Why do these ‘bad’ guys do the bad things? What motivates them? (Every one of your characters has a goal, desires and dreams, even those without focaliser status)

• Which other character’s perspective will bring the most nuance and insight to the story events? Find another character who loves, or hates, or is investigating one or both of the other focalisers. What will they bring to the story? 

HOW MANY VOICES?

From experience I’d recommend three to five focalisers. More than this can become confusing for the reader, unless expertly managed. Beware of the two hander and that battle for supremacy – finding that balance is very tricky.

DIFFERENTIATING THE VOICES

A lot of commercial fiction these days separates different viewpoint third person POV sections in their own chapters. For example a story of three sisters around the death of their mother, which is told in chapters that alternate between the three perspectives. Even though they were brought up in the same family, culture and environment, each of these voices needs to be immediately recognisable. Their way of speaking, thinking and being in the world must show through in their chapters from the first line of each of their sections. A heading with their name at the top of the page isn’t enough.

Get to know your characters through daydreaming about them, collaging their worlds, doing lots of backstory writing about them, getting into their heads. Try my “Getting into Character” exercise for a great way to access their psychology. Differentiate each one with idiosyncratic ways of speaking and behaving. One may bulldoze over everyone else’s attempts to speak. Another may end every sentence with a question mark or start each one with “sorry”. Another may remain mostly silently but have the greatest insight into the hearts of the others and herself.

Using multiple viewpoint characters is also very useful in shaping a suspenseful plot. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received in my 24 years plus of writing, is “Don’t take the reader where they want to go.” End a scene on a cliffhanger – never solve a situation within a scene – then take the reader to the next POV character and flesh out their scene leading to another cliffhanger, then switch to the next POV and then finally back to our first character, resolve that dilemma and move onto the choice or cliffhanger and so on. 

In traditional memoir you are confined to the first person past tense voice of “I”, though even then we have “previous you” and “wise you now”. But you can also do as Kris Olsson did in Boy Lost and I did in Dear Madman, recreate scenes and characters from the past to provide other strands and viewpoints.

I hope that has demystified using multiple points of view a little. Any questions just ask!

If you’d like to immerse yourself in your writing and learn more about the craft from me and the wonderful Kerstin Pilz in person, we still have a few rooms left for our September 19 – 24 Byron Bay Writing Retreat. Writers of all levels of experience and genders are welcome. If you have an ABN for your writing, all retreats are tax deductible! YES!

Bookings are now open for Italy 2027 too (one large single and one shared room – grab a writing friend for the holiday of a lifetime!).

In the meantime, write like the wind – wild and free and don’t let the bastards get you down!

Lots of love,

Edwina  xx

Woohoo! Far North Queensland here I come! I love FNQ.

My earliest and happiest memories of childhood are from my childhood at Flying Fish Point near Innisfail and our regular family holidays too the sugar cane farm at Shaw’s corner. You can read a short memoir piece, Flying Fish Point HERE. And this more lyrical memoir piece “Storm Birds” from The Linden Review.

I’ve been lucky enough to return to FNQ every year for a while now, running retreats and workshops in the region, visiting family and friends and hiding out on Magnetic Island off the coast of Townsville to write.

Yes, Innisfail is rainy. An ongoing rivalry with Tully for wettest town in the north.

I’m super excited to announce I’m heading north again soon and will be doing a few events in the region. I hope you can make it, to one or other of them FNQ writers!

First I’ll be in Townsville for a Dear Madman launch event at Mary Who? bookstore. Thanks to the lovely Katie for organising.

Monday June 15 at 6pm for a fascinating discussion on the writing of Dear Madman with lots of tips for writing your own story.

TOWNSVILLE: DEAR MADMAN LAUNCH MONDAY JUNE 15. FREE but book your ticket HERE.

Then I’m heading up to Cairns to hang out and do some retreat planning with my wonderful Transformational Writing Retreats partner, Kerstin Pilz.

Luckily the very lovely and indefatigable powerhouse of creativity and champion of the arts, Eve Stafford, has worked her magic so I’m able to offer two Life Writing Workshops while I’m up there.

KURANDA LIBRARY: Friday 19th June 9:30 am – 12:30 pm – and

CAIRNS, STRATFORD LIBRARY: Saturday 20th June 1pm – 4 pm

You can book for both HERE

These workshops are only $35 for a 3 hour workshop and includes some light refreshments. Come ready to write! Can’t wait to get people finding the heart of their family story and sharing lots of hints and tips for creating a compelling narrative from anecdotes.

Here’s the QR code which will send you directly to the booking page.

Me with my young mother and father, sister Natasha and our brother Matthew. My earliest memories are of Flying Fish Point.

I can’t wait to get back to my old stomping ground again and enjoy the slower pace and beautiful winter sunshine. (No one likes it in the summer up there! But it did prepare me well for my time working in Cambodia)

Hope you can come. Please share with your friends up north.

For more upcoming events including Bundaberg and Gympie, see HERE.

Also, a special deal for the Byron Bay Transformational Writing Retreat (September 19 – 24/2026) is in the works for subscribers to my substack newsletter. You can get a monthly dose of writing advice, publishing opportunities and a lot of writerly love HERE

See you in FNQ soon I hope!

Lots of love

Edwina xx

Having your book published is one of life’s greatest joys for writers. All those years of invisible toil and people thinking you’re crazy feel worth it when your book is finally launched into the world. Yes! It feels great.

PLEASURES

The first day I held Dear Madman in my hot little hands, I read through it quickly and saw only typos including that dreaded ‘George goat’. But the next day when I picked it up again, then put it back down, I realised the greatest reward of publication. I could put it down! Properly. The story was no longer something I carried with me wherever I went, heavy on my mind, always thinking about it, something I missed, something to add, where to publish. As I placed the book back on my bedside table, it stayed there and I went on to do other things. I went back, the book was still there, real and outside myself. Separate. An entity of its own, finding its own way in the world. The weight of its burden lifted.

Publishing a book is often likened to having a baby, except I’ve never carried a baby inside me for 16 years! A book is born like a foal, ready to stand on its own. Yes, I still need to help it find its way, make sure it is seen, plan events and send it out for review. But now the book belongs to everyone; their imagination and experiences melding with mine through the text. A new creation with every new reader. Real life magic.

Receiving responses from friends and even strangers who’ve read the book is a great post publication pleasure. I hope you feel this kind of recognition of your writing one day too. Thank you to those who’ve emailed me as soon as they’ve finished reading, filled with the story, faces still damp with tears. Thank you to those who also put up reviews on Goodreads, or told their friends, posted about it and shared. This support means the world to me and to all writers. If you’d like to help out and add a review, you can do so HERE.

Thank you to the wonderful and talented Cass Moriarty whose beautiful review made me see the book in a new way.

Books from small presses like AndAlso Books need this wonderful word of mouth to sell. Luckily, I’ve had over a decade’s experience in promoting and even distributing my own work. Thrill Seekers was published by a small UK press, so I had to push it uphill on my own. It went on to be shortlisted in the NSW literary awards. Although the book baby is born walking, it still needs the writer to make sure it’s visible. As I learnt with my Covid self-publishing experiment, A Guide Through Grief, no marketing equals no sales. No matter how well-intentioned and marketable the product. 

Other post-publication joys include getting reviews, as long as they’re good of course. I was thrilled to score a half page review in The Weekend Australian, sharing the spread with esteemed Queensland writer, the late, great David Malouf. Oh happy day! 

Another pleasure, for me, is doing related events at bookstores and libraries, even the Police Museum if you’re lucky like I was. Answering reader questions about your story, signing books and meeting enthusiastic readers is the best writing fun you can have when you’re not actually writing. Getting interview requests and being on podcasts and radio shows can also be fun. 

But beware, doing these events and interviews can feel very exposing. A lot of the above-mentioned pleasures have a peril side as well. 

PERILS

Yes, it’s great getting good reviews, but our brains seem to seek out even small negatives inside much greater positives and focus on those. Yes it was great getting the review in The Australian but the reviewer said there was too much “woo-woo”. I have 29, five-star reviews on Goodreads (thank you everyone!) and one four-star. Which one do I lie awake worrying about? Yup! 

The general rule is NOT to read reviews, but the good ones do feel good. If you’re extra sensitive – and let’s face it most writers are – then get a friend to take a look first and only show you the positive reviews. I love Gay’s idea of printing out every single good review and piece of positive feedback about her memoir Will I Ever Be Who I Am and sticking them on her wall. She’s up to ten full pages. 

We don’t all have personal assistants to make sure we’re well taken care of. Be your own best friend and schedule breaks.

Other perils include burning out doing events. When you’re on the circuit, doing event after event, especially when it is a deeply personal work, as Dear Madman is, including a memoir strand, then it can all feel horribly exposing. Event after event talking about yourself and the book is exhausting. I’ve learnt to pace myself and leave gaps between gigs, but still, after a while you get sick of the sound of your own voice and wish someone else could do it for you. Taking really good care of yourself, doing your self-care rituals and practices daily is vital during this period of publicity. And if it’s all too much, pull the plug on an event or two. A few disappointed punters are far outweighed by your own wellbeing. 

Publishing any book feels like running around town in your undies, but publishing memoir is like running around town stark naked, or after a bad interview it can leave you feeling skinless. Muscles and nerves exposed to harsh light and judgements. Memoirists take note.

Keep loved ones close to keep you grounded. This is an old photo from 1994/5 of me with my beloved Nana (Nana Franny in Dear Madman), and beautiful sisters and Mum.

An interview I did a few weeks ago really shook me. An older fellow, ex-sportsman who usually interviews sports stars and musicians, suddenly had “woo-woo” me to interrogate. Questions he would never ask a man started our discussion. “Are you single?”, “Why did your marriage break up?”. Then he kept going for the sore points in search of ratings. When asked about resonances in my own life with the murderer’s story, I told him about my own father’s death, my brother’s mental illness, but he pushed on. “Wasn’t there a dead baby?”

Shocked by his audacity, I answered and continued the interview, but afterwards I felt sickened. Raw and vulnerable. Yes, it’s in the book, but mate, some things aren’t open for discussion with strangers.

Memoirs open you up to this kind of unwanted, intrusive and ugly line of questioning. Your life comes under examination. Not the work. Not the story. YOU. It’s not supposed to be like that, but it is. I comforted myself with the thought that all publicity is good publicity, but I now have some strict boundaries around what I will and won’t talk about publicly. I resisted including a memoir strand in Dear Madman for many years because of this kind of thing. Memoirists, be ready with boundaries around what you are happy to discuss and areas that are off limits.

Put up some boundaries around what you’re happy to discuss.

Pleasures far outweigh the perils in the long run. Learn how to manage the perils and stay sane through the publicity and exposure, how to print out those good reviews and bin the rest. Stick up for yourself and your right to privacy. Protect your sensitive self in interviews and make space for downtime between events.

Relish the joy of knowing your work is out there in the world finding its own way. Cherish the empty spaces available in your mind, now this huge burden of work has been released. Let yourself celebrate. This is a writer’s harvest time, so feast, frolic and be merry!

Writing buddies understand. With the delightful Nicky Peelgrane, Amanda O’Callaghan, Fiona Robertson and her lovely sister Julene. Keep your writing gang close.

Wishing you all the pleasures of publication and plenty of strength and courage to handle the perils.

Lots of love,

Edwina  xx

PS. Are you ready to tackle the next draft of your work in progress? Writing mojo need a reboot? Come along on retreat. Places still left for Springbrook in August and Byron Bay in September. A few rooms still available for Italy 2027 too ALL THE INFO HERE

Whether you publish with one of the big trade publishers, a boutique publishing house or yourself, the writer still has to do the thing we all fear most – MARKETING!

Now, before you run screaming for the hills, take a deep breath. Yes, it’s horrible having to toot our own horns. (Yes, it does make you feel like a wanker in Australian vernacular). BUT you’ve spent all this time creating your beautiful book. In order to help it shine, you need to find readers.

Think of marketing less as selling, but as connecting your book with those people who’ll really love it. How will they find it if you don’t tell them about it? 

See? You’re doing good, helping people find something that will benefit them?

Feeling better about marketing yet?

See my post The Mystic, The Businesswoman and Me for more tips.

Just think of it as calling a lot of friends to tell them about your book – all at the same time!

Here’s my rough guide to marketing developed over 24 years of trial and error.

NOTE: You don’t have to do everything. If you find Instagram nauseating or would rather die than join TikTok, you don’t have to. Find what works for you, what you find easiest and work that room J

1. AUTHOR PLATFORM 

I love my new logo and my bright blue colour scheme. Keeping this kind of branding in mind is important. Relax and Write is my business.

What the hell is it? These days whenever we pitch a book to potential publishers, they want to see that we have a ready audience. If you, for example, have a million followers on social media, you’re in like Flynn. If you have a professional reputation connected to your book subject, like my friend, writer and psychiatrist, Warren Ward who runs an eating disorder clinic and co-authored ReNourish a book about overcoming these illnesses, then you have a headstart too. Been on telly? Have a large community network? All these will help. 

You can create a website, or a Facebook Author page – somewhere that people can find you easily. You need some online presence to start building that “platform” as a writer.

If you’re just an average Joanne like me, then your platform may come from the work you’ve already published, any writing prizes you’ve won, even a favourable manuscript assessment. Keep a record of all publishing wins, writing courses you’ve attended, any praise of your writing. This is your WRITING CV. Keep going long enough like I have, and it all adds up.

• NETWORKING

Who knew that hanging out with fellow writers was actually “networking”? Photo of retreat guests in April by Maggie Cardona

The very thought of “networking” used to give me the heebeegeebees! But again, there are ways to work around the fear. Don’t force yourself to do an event where you have to speed date 20 new people and sell yourself/book, that will have even the most extroverted writer shivering in her boots.

But, how about attending a writers’ festival and chatting to the people next to you? How about joining a QWC Writing Friday to write in company and meet other writers? How about joining a writers’ group to share feedback, or coming along on a retreat? Meeting people more organically around our shared interest in writing isn’t so scary. Think Bookclubs, Women’s groups, Sip and Write events. Let’s face it most writers are dags at heart, and not scary at all. 

You can join other clubs or groups around the topic of your book as well. Get to know people and just be your usual lovely self. That’s networking! That’s not so scary now, is it?

• SOCIAL MEDIA

A couple of my recent Instagram posts. You can follow me at https://www.instagram.com/edwinashawauthor/

Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay and is your most powerful marketing tool.

Here are some great tips from Gay Liddington – author of Will I Ever Be Who I Am and chief cookie at my local retreats. Long before her book was published, or even finished, Gay joined and engaged with lots of Facebook groups related to her memoir. She joined writers’ groups and pages that spoke to her topics – family violence, military and historical sites, taking every opportunity to mention her memoir title or to post an excerpt, thereby gaining interest. She was also mindful to comment on other posts to keep her name out there. ‘It’s important to read group rules before joining as some don’t allow for self-promotion, or you may only promote on certain days,’ says Gay.  

Often Gay will post in a group about a topic and include a photo or some text from her book. No link. Just the title. And people start asking, “Where can I buy it?”

Find some related groups and start interacting – not just promoting. Give and receive.

Instagram is my social media of choice these days after multiple scammer episodes on Facebook saw me lose all my followers. I like Instagram because it’s mainly images and videos. I’ve recently bitten the bullet and have done some face to camera reels. Surprisingly they had a greater reach than other posts! So don’t be scared. If we go on warts, wrinkles and all they know we’re real, and not AI. Reels have the best reach.

Booktokkers can go far. I haven’t come at TikTok yet though. But it might be just right for you. 

My main message is, park your sensitive sausage self, and start posting on whatever platform feels least threatening. Post short excerpts, not too much! Post related images. Connect with others. And if you get a yucky comment – delete and block them. Just post, keep posting and don’t look back!

Help other writers by commenting on their posts and sharing them. They may do the same for you one day.

• NEWSLETTERS

Jo Skinner and I at my Avid Reader launch of Dear Madman

Are newsletters worth it? I’ve been writing a monthly newsletter now for about nine years. For me it has been my very best marketing tool. I collected email addresses from workshop and retreat participants, so I’d met most people on my list, and they knew I had information they would be interested in. You can join my newsletter HERE.

I subscribe to a few newsletters, but I confess I don’t read most of them. Only if there’s useful information or opportunities included. This is why I pack my newsletters full of writing advice and publishing opportunities. I’ve always enjoyed my dear friend and retreat co-host, Kerstin Pilz’s newsletters for their mix of writing advice, prompts and spirituality.

Before you start a newsletter think about what you can offer. Snippets of your stories? Or like the unstoppable Jo Skinner author of The Truth About My Daughter and A World of Silence – a montage of writing life, running tips and Western medicine insights. Like Jo, I create my newsletter over the preceding month, but it still takes me most of a day to get the final version to subscribers. This is valuable time, so it must have a return. I’m reaching my people for editing or mentoring or retreats, so it’s worth it.

I started on Mailchimp which was free, until I hit 500 subscribers and then I had to pay. I found Mailchimp mostly okay to use – I’m still learning about technology and often find tech challenging – and I liked the way I could store images and use people’s first names in the “to” fields.

Last year Kerstin convinced me to move onto Substack which is FREE! You know I like free things, but still I was hesitant to lose the personalised greeting and my catalogue of images built up over almost a decade. I got some help to export and then import my contact list and from there, it’s been easy. In its favour Substack has a large writerly community so we can all cross-pollinate.

There are a number of different platforms available to try. But do we all need a newsletter?

• EVENTS

Of all these marketing tools, I like events best. I love people and teaching has made me unafraid of public speaking, so I enjoy traveling around hosting book events or workshops or retreats. I love to share my hard-won knowledge of the publishing industry and the craft of writing, so events work well for me.

You don’t have to do big events – a small gathering at your local bookshop will do the trick. See if you can visit a friend’s book club or writing group to lead a short session. If public speaking terrifies you, join a speakers’ organisation like Toast Masters to get practice. You can speak at Rotary Clubs, Probus or do a tour of the RSLs as Gay is doing (she was in the army as a young woman).

If you have teaching or speaking skills, you can sign up for a speakers agency like Speakers Ink.

Events can be fun, but I’ve learned that while I enjoy doing them, they also take a toll on nerves. Remember to pace yourself between events, so you can always give your best.

• WRITE RELATED ARTICLES

A good way to bring attention to your book is by writing articles on related topics and selling them to magazines or journals. Find your favourite magazines and link your story to a topic of their interest, and pitch an article.

• MERCHANDISE

Our fancy new tote bags

Merchandise is fun! But I’m not sure if it sells books. Still, I like my retreat fridge magnets and our Transformational Writing Retreat tote bags. Maybe they spark interest or conversation with a friend when they see them. 

But don’t spend a fortune! Connecting with others organically is your best bet.

Other Marketing Suggestions

Check out: Readers favourite; 

Reedsy; 

Draft2 Digital; 

Best Seller World; 

Read A Lot magazine: readalot.com.au 

Goodreads ( do me a review for Dear Madman while you’re there:) )

Good Reading magazine https://goodreadingmagazine.com.au

Book Bub

Book Monkey

Team Dango

Kindle Nation

Written Word

Fussy Librarian

Book Raid

ENT

Podcasters

From my writing desk to yours.

I hope these tips are useful. Which marketing tool will you use today? Every little bit helps.

GOOD LUCK! Go forth and prosper fellow writer!

Lots of love

Edwina  xx

PS. Ipswich book event this Saturday 2/5/2026 at The Book Bouquet at 10:30 am Book HERE

PPS. Maleny book event Saturday 16/5/2026 at Rosetta Books at 10:30 am BOOK HERE

Memoir retreat gang 2026!

A glorious weekend of sunshine for our Relax and Write Memoir Writing Retreat this year. Blue skies, towering gums, birdsong and leaves rustling and the feeling of being the only ones left on earth. Peace to write and learn, and best of all, connect with other writers.

Photos by me, and last by Maggie Brown

A recent survey revealed that what most writers crave most isn’t new tech, or writing education or feedback. What writers want most is other writers. A community of writers. Providing a safe place for writers to connect and form solid writing friendships has always been a focus of these retreats. And this retreat was a grand example of how spending a few days away together cements writing friendships faster than years of monthly meetings.

Photos by Maggie Brown

Writing can be a lonely business, but on retreat it’s easy to talk about our stories, to have our ideas heard, to feel seen and valued. Non-writers don’t really understand the dedication and years of work that goes into every book, memoirs in particular, or the courage it takes to say, “My life matters. My ideas count. I deserve to be heard”. Other writers get it! And will keep cheering you on until those stories that have haunted you are finally out of your head and onto the page.

Photos by Maggie Brown – last one by me.

We had a wonderful group, our beloved retreataholics leading the pack, and a whole lot of new writers, testing the waters, trying out their writing chops and escaping the pressures of daily life to hide in the mountains and write. We had a lot of Gold Coast Writers this retreat, who I hope will form their own ongoing writing gang to share work. Our precious Faye came all the way from New Zealand – the retreat a birthday gift to herself. Amelia’s hubby gave her the retreat for her birthday and Angela flew up from Melbourne in search of an affordable retreat. 

Relaxing is just as important as writing, which is why gentle morning movement and deep guided relaxations are a part of every retreat. As is nap time! All activities are optional so you can design your own retreat and either attend everything on offer for an intensive learning experience, or sleep in and attend just a couple of workshops to get some ideas, then enjoy a massage, or grab a cup of tea and some of Gay’s delicious treats, head out with a picnic rug and find a place to lie in the sun and journal, read or just lie down and rest. Other writers came along to finish works in progress. Go Georgina go! Happy to report that her first draft is now complete!

Photos by Maggie Brown

Sunshine for a whole weekend in the rainforest is a rare treat, and we made the most of it. Pademelons grazed undisturbed between writers gazing into the treetops. Daydreaming is an important skill for writers.

We feasted on delicious, healthy meals and treats made with love by our beloved Chief Cookie, memoir author Gay Liddington, whose powerful and uplifting book, Will I Ever Be Who I Am, sold like hotcakes on retreat! (You can buy a copy HERE)

Photos by Maggie Brown (and me)

Monique provided bodywork treatments that left us floating a little above the ground, and miraculously healed Jeanelle’s hip! Thank you Monique, for your gentle touch and the wisdom and healing you bring to these retreats.

Photos of kindy collages by me.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s the people who attend these retreats that make them so special. As facilitator it gives me great joy to watch how women support and nurture each other. We cheer each other on and rush to help those struggling, not with story so much, but with the courage and confidence to tell it.

Each special soul who attended contributed to this beautiful weekend just by being themselves. It is a great privilege to bring these groups together. And in the grander scheme of things, I’m grateful that Dear Madman wasn’t published the first time it went to acquisitions in 2014, because if it had, I wouldn’t have created these retreats, which have become one of my life’s most satisfying and joyful achievements.

Happy campers with their collages. Traditional kindy photo to finish retreat. From top left: me, Anne, Angela, Katie, Faye, Sue, Helen, Liana, Jeanelle, Amelia, Bev, Rebecca and Shannon

Here’s what some of our retreaters had to say:

‘Edwina’s tuition at the Relax and Write Retreats condenses book loads of info on how to write into a weekend that’s fun, relaxing and, for me, easy to take in.’

Vivienne Wynter, author of the forthcoming Sunny (Hawkeye Press)

‘A soul-warming, inspiring weekend of connection, learning and love.’

Shannon

‘I loved the supportive, inclusive atmosphere and left feeling nourished and inspired.’

Angela

‘I love the quiet setting and variety of spaces to read and write. Meeting so many other writers was a bonus. I was able to disconnect and made progress on my writing.’

Maggie

‘Relax and Write is a rewarding experience. Should to shoulder we sit with authors in all stages of writing and the encouragement is strengthening from uncommon places. You will leave nourished in so many ways, it is unfathomable.’

Helen

‘Edwina is a wealth of knowledge who is extremely generous with her time, suggestions and guidance to help you develop your craft. ‘

Jeanelle

‘Want to write a book? When you don’t think you can, let Edwina prove you wrong. A wonderful retreat in every sense of the word, nurturing, enlightening and filled with love and encouragement.’

Beverley Young, author.

‘Thank you indeed Edwina for a treat of a Memoir Retreat weekend.Everything, really, was a treat – the lush rainforest of Springbrook that surrounded us, our care packages , especially the people on hand to ensure our weekend was filled with care and good times. THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD to keep up our energy levels catered for all types of dietary needs and was presented so artistically. Of course the reason we were retreating – to write.  You guided us with clarity to distinguish what a Memoir includes.  Your workshops were motivational, stimulating  our creative ideas and also led us through practical strategies for improving our writing. As well you encouraged – our writing , relationships, building groups and maintaining these connections. I loved your enthusiasm and  humour, and especially appreciated your awareness and compassion for each of us. Thank you Edwina for a 5 star retreat – both care and content.’

Anne

Thank you all!

The next Relax and Write Writing Retreat is our Feedback and Revision, Second Draft Retreat for those with a major project underway. August 7- 9,2026. All the info HERE! Plenty of spaces still available but book in fast before the retreataholics fill it up!

My next memoir retreat is a Transformational Writing Retreat in collaboration with the indefatigable Kerstin Pilz, author of Loving my Lying Dying Cheating Husband, in beautiful Byron Bay – September 19 – 25/2026. Two teachers. Five nights in paradise. Writing workshops, yoga and movement sessions, pranayama and deep relaxation, sound bowl healing, special dance therapy session, tarot readings, feedback and a whole lot more! Check it out HERE. Bookings now open! Imagine relaxing and writing for five whole days. Who knows what could happen? All genders are welcome at Transformational Writing Retreats.

Thank you to all the very special women who came along to this first retreat since my burnout. I couldn’t have dreamt of a better gang to bring me back into retreat mode. Thank you to my darling chief cookie and retreat partner, Gay for all you do with such great love and kindness. Thank you to our special helpers too, Vivienne, Tash and Jill. You made everything run like clockwork. Love you all.

Thank you to all my wonderful, inspirational 2026 memoir retreaters, for your energy, enthusiasm, talents and willingness to share. Thank you most of all for having the courage to write your stories. The world needs the stories of working women, of mothers, grandmothers, wise elders, carers and survivors. 

With lots of love,

Edwina xx

Photos by Maggie Brown, Beverley Young and me.

PS. Dear Madman event at Books@Stones this Saturday 18/4/2026. 2 – 3pm. Think of a question to ask me! I’d love to see your smiling face. BOOK HERE.

Photo by Steve MinOn at my launch.

I’m still buzzing from the excitement and joy of the Dear Madman book launch at Avid Reader, a couple of weeks ago. The venue was sold out and we sold all the books in stock in the store (now restocked!) as well so it was a super successful event and I really felt the joy and love in the room. Thank you to all the loved ones, friends and supporters who shared their Friday night with me.

Some photos by Steve Minon, some by Gay Liddington (pictured above) and others. From top left, with Gay and Bev, Kris and I in action, Vivienne Wynter and Dear Madman, with Fiona Robertson and Nikki Mottram, Richard asking a question, with my beloved retreataholics, Tatia, Liana and Ava January, the crowd.

My Transformational Writing Retreats partner and writing buddy, Kerstin flew down from Cairns and others had travelled from both coasts and further afield to share this special night with me. 16 years of work. One night to celebrate. My dear friend Gay Liddington, author of her own powerful memoir Will I Ever Be Who I Am, and chief cookie on our local retreats, and her husband Phil stayed over and drove me into Brisbane and back and generally held my hand through the whole process.

Dear Kris Olsson, author of my model text Boy Lost and many other critically acclaimed books, has been my mentor for the last few years of this project so it was only right that she did the honours at the launch. She was on babysitting duty so we had her lovely granddaughter with us for the event, which was apt, given that children feature heavily in the story.

I could talk until the cows come home about this project so the time sped by, with fantastic questions from the audience too. Big thanks to all the question askers! And then the best bit, signing books and hugging everyone! It was a long line for signing and we ended up getting hurried out of Avid as the very sweet Eleanor needed to get home at a reasonable hour.

Dear Madman spotted in the wild at Rosetta Books, Maleny and with the unstoppable, Jo Skinner.

Since then, as it is with all writers, it’s back to the drawing board. Back to writing sentences and chopping words. Just as the old Buddhist saying says, Before enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. After enlightenment, carry water, chop wood, it’s the same for writers. Back to teaching at UQ with a new group of fresh faced eager beavers, back to working on edits and organising retreats, back to fiddling on my own multiple projects in process when I have the time.

Added into the mix though is the marketing and publicity aspects of having a new release – organising events and doing interviews and podcasts. So yes, I’m busy again! But intending to protect my health after burnout with more rest and less over-giving in the mix. So far so good!

UPCOMING EVENTS FOR DEAR MADMAN

Kerstin and I doing our Let’s Talk Writing podcast! Check out the podcast HERE.

SUNDAY 29 MARCH 2026

FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP and VIRTUAL BOOK LAUNCH FOR DEAR MADMAN – with Kerstin Pilz and me. Sunday 29 March 3pm – 4pm ALL WELCOME!

Here’s one for my far flung friends.

WRITING THE ANCESTORS workshop, covering how to create characters in memoir, particularly for family stories but applicable to all writing really.

Join us SUNDAY 29 MARCH at 3 pm for a fun one hour online launch and workshop designed to get you writing, and laughing a bit too.

JOIN THE ONLINE LAUNCH HERE at 3pm (or a bit before) SUNDAY 29 March 2026! YAY! ZOOM LINK.

April 18 – 2pm- 3:30 pm – Books@Stones BOOK HERE – In conversation with the incredible Fiona Robertson, author of If You’re Happy and a dear friend who knows the book very well. FREE – But do book in.

April 26 Sunday – 11am – 12 midday – Queensland Police Museum – Roma Street I don’t have a link yet but will add it as soon as I do. I’m excited about this one because I can delve into the real nitty gritty of the case with crime experts!

May 2 – 10:30am – 11:30am – The Book Bouquet here in Ipswich, Queensland. I’ll be joined by the lovely Gay who also knows this book almost as well as I do. Beautiful new bookstore here in Ippy. Come along local friends! No link to book yet but coming!

May 9 – 10:30am- 12 midday – Rosetta Books in Maleny for the Sunshine Coast hinterland crew Joined once more by long time Maleny local and much loved features writer for The Hinterland Times. No link yet but put it in your calendar.

If your local bookstore would be interested in hosting an event, or you’d like me to come and visit your bookclub, just drop me a line! (I love signing books!)

REVIEWS

Vivienne Wynter, dear friend and editor of the very fine online magazine The Pineapple has written a fabulous review. You can read the whole review HERE.

And here’s another beauty from critically acclaimed author and all round beautiful person Cass Moriarty. READ HERE.

Lots of wonderful reviews are going up on Goodreads too. READ HERE

Every review helps make the book more visible.

Every time you tell a friend about it helps too.

Lovely Eleanor at Avid Reader would love to sell you a copy!

Huge big hugs and thank you’s to all of the lovely people doing reviews and spreading the word, helping me get Dear Madman in front of the people who will get most from it. LOVE YOU GUYS!

A book, not just about murder, but about forgiveness and healing through compassion. Let’s make forgiveness and healing viral!

Hope I get to see your smiling face at a Dear Madman event soon. Think of a question to ask me!

With lots of love and best wishes for your own writing projects finding their way in the world,

Edwina xx

One week until my true crime memoir, Dear Madman, is officially launched into the world at Avid Reader. YAY! To say it’s been a long time coming is an understatement. Not for want of trying, either. Over the past twelve years, Dear Madman has been submitted hundreds of times and even made it to a few acquisitions meetings with big publishers, but never quite made it over the line. 

As all writers know, rejection is part of the job description. What non-writers don’t know is just how much each rejection hurts. A LOT. I knew this project was good – compelling, dark yes, but with a kind and hopeful heart – and couldn’t understand what was stopping publishers taking that last step and accepting it for publication. The decision usually came down to the marketing folk not being able to see where it fitted on bookshelves. HINT: The memoir section! Or True Crime! Two for the price of one.

I was first told about the man who killed my beloved Nana’s sister when I was a child. Since then, I’ve carried this story, always in the back of my mind. Trying to make sense of it, to shape it into a story, to create meaning from this senseless tragedy, seeking a way to understand it and the man himself so I could attempt the forgiveness rejected by my forebears. 

The story weighed heavily upon me, and I knew I had to be an experienced writer to attempt it. I also had to wait, until Nana and her generation had all passed. Nana’s been gone 30 years and her sister, the last of them, 24. All my life, whenever I tried to write the story or drew another picture of a girl with blood in her hair, my mother told me, “Whatever you do, don’t show Nana.” So I waited and carried the darkness of this story with me through life.

In 2010, I finally gave myself permission to start researching the truth behind the family myth. What I discovered took me down many deep rabbit holes and revealed a story with more twists and turns than the river that ran through the family farm where Nana grew up. Four years later, I took a suitcase stuffed with 15 kilos of printed research materials to Varuna House in the Blue Mountains where I’d been awarded a second book fellowship, determined to write my memoir. 

However, once I started to write another stronger voice demanded to be heard – the voice of the murderer. He was so loud and insistent he would have stolen the story for himself, so I made the decision to also include the multiple voices of Nana and her siblings and parents. I wanted to bring back to life the little girl who’d been murdered so young, to free her from the darkness that had entangled her with the bad man forever. After two weeks on retreat, I emerged with a full first draft – a novel recreating the events of the crime.

After this novelistic version failed to fly, I wrote an extended memoir piece talking about my research and what I’d discovered and the meaning I’d created from this tragedy. I intended to publish this separately as a companion piece as Kate Grenville did with her, Searching for The Secret River. That didn’t work either. 

More rejections. Argh they hurt! But year after year I kept scraping myself back up off the floor, continued teaching writing and started running writing retreats to share all I’d learnt. 

Then in the early 2020s I attended my friend, the incredibly talented writer, Kristina Olsson’s memoir course at QWC. Her award-winning book Boy Lost had been my model for Dear Madman, especially the way Kris had recreated scenes from her mother’s life. After the course, I met up with Kris and asked for her help with Madman. All those rejections had brought me very low. I was back down on that mat, and the referee was already at eight by the time I saw Kris. She reached a hand down to drag me back up to try again. Thank you Kris!

More drafts. I stopped counting how many after ten years. More submissions. All requested full reads. Agents loved it but didn’t know where to try (a hard ask as I’d tried just about every trade publisher in Australia), publishers read and sent brief, “not for me” messages without any further feedback. Another draft. Another rejection or two. 

Until I’d had enough and called my friend Matthew Wengert at AndAlso Books who published both Queersland and Bjelke Blues. Hooray for the little guys who are willing to take a gamble on a powerful story. 

British artist Tracy Enim once famously said, “If you can’t open the door, smash it down!” So with Matthew and his team on board, that’s what we’re setting out to do. I’ve been writing solidly these past 24 years and submitting to big Australian trade publishers the whole time. No matter how hard I tried, that door wouldn’t open. So now I’m blasting it down!

But for that door to really be smashed to smithereens, I need your help. Reviews, recommendations to friends, requests from your local bookstore, pre-orders, blog posts, social media photos – each small action will help the magic start to work. For months now my Heavenly Support Team has been cheering and partying up there like something wonderful has happened. Hopefully they’re right!

If you’d like to pre-order a copy you can do so HERE.

The launch on Friday March 6 is officially booked out but I have other events coming up. 

APRIL 18/2026 2 pm: Dear Madman, in conversation with the super lovely and talented Fiona Robertson at Books@Stones. Book HERE

APRIL 26/2026 11 am: Dear Madman at the Police Museum in Roma Street (Ha! Last time I was there was under very different circumstances!! Joh era). No link to the event, as yet.

How long does it take to write a book? As long as it takes! 

I held a copy of Dear Madman for the first time on my birthday last week. It felt good. Very good. Relief initially, but as the days have passed I’ve experienced a great lifting of this dark burden, a new lightness being born within me. 

At last, this story I’ve carried most of my life is out of my head. I no longer need to bear its weight. Now it’s outside me in a book I can put down and pick up again. A book that is born and is now in the hands of you, the reader (and the heavenly support team). Phew!

Thank you for travelling this long road with me. I hope you’ll enjoy the fruits of my labours. See you at one of the events, I hope! Come and say hello. 

Lots of love,

Edwina xx

Are you writing a memoir? Read on!

Memoirists are the bravest of writers. They must dig deep into their experiences and hearts to create meaning from the stories of their lives, then expose that tender belly to the world. Publishing a memoir is like stripping off all your clothes, even your skin, and running naked, vulnerable and raw in front of everyone you’ve ever known and lots of people you don’t. It takes guts! Writing of any sort is an act of courage – see my post The Courage to Create, but memoir and all writing inspired by our own emotions and deepest secrets, takes the courage of a child facing a nightmare monster. 

Do it anyway!

The world needs more truth. In this age of lies and AI fabrications and hallucinations, only the truth of lived human experience has weight and import. We are all so similar, humans haven’t changed much in what we need and feel in millennia, and yet each of us, like every blossom or leaf on a tree, is different. Unique and original, shaped by all who came before us and every moment that has impacted upon our life stories. 

Don’t stay awake all night thinking about your story! Get it out of your head and onto the page

Capturing that unique spirit and experience of life to share with others is a precious gift. Through sharing the truths of our lives in writing, we connect heart to heart, mind to mind, in a way that can reach across generations and time itself. 

Write! Write your truth and don’t be afraid.

Over my work with many memoirists over the past two decades of writing and editing, I’ve learnt I’m not the only one who finds putting my deepest heart on display in my work difficult. I’m essentially an intensely private person. Only a very few of my oldest friends and my siblings, really know all of me. In my writing, I’ve always preferred the disguise of fiction – I like to think of it as a cloak of invisibility. Thrill Seekers is autobiographical fiction, or really, thinly disguised memoir. And most of my writing has followed that same method. I call it the “chicken’s way out”. My Guide Through Grief has snippets of memoir, but mostly I am telling the reader I’ve been through stuff too, so I know what grief feels like. I didn’t write in scenes. I wasn’t brave enough to force myself and my readers to experience those losses again in real time. 

You can purchase a copy directly from me HERE – let me know if you’d like me to sign it for you, or someone else.

Writing in scenes allows the reader to feel and experience life events just as you lived them. The imagination is powerful and can’t distinguish between reality and the imagined. Every time we read and feel the emotions stirred in us by a book, we are partaking in the life of those characters. Living other lives than our own. How exciting! 

But another aspect to the ‘I’ voice in memoir plays an important role – reflection in hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos of life’s random rollercoaster ride. Both scenes and reflection from ourselves looking back at that scene and creating meaning, seeing patterns, asking questions, examining and releasing, are essential components of memoir writing.

THE TWO ‘ME’s in MEMOIR

1. PREVIOUS ME – When writing scenes, we must go back and see ourselves as separate from who we are now. Who were you when this experience happened? Can you see yourself from the outside? Often photos are a good way to ease into seeing your past self more objectively. Then we need to create a character from our previous selves, warts, beauty spots and all. A character that is as well painted as every other in our story. More so, as the writer is the protagonist. 

Exercise: Close your eyes and remember a scene where you are sitting around a table, eating dinner or breakfast or playing a board game, or having a family or house meeting. Previous You interacting with others. What are you doing? What are you wearing? How do you fit in with the group? Are you speaking? What are you saying? How do you act?

Now try writing that scene in third person, treating yourself as the protagonist. 

A glamorous version of wise me now

• WISE ME NOW – This is the voice of the writer as you are now, looking back, examining yourself and situations with the benefit of hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos. After writing a scene where you SHOW us exactly what happened and who you were in the past, even if your actions were shameful, then take a pause and shift into Wise You Now to reflect upon the scene, and how it impacted upon you. What questions does it raise? What behaviours do you now see the reasons for? What patterns did this scene create in your life? How does this scene feed into the greater narrative you’re creating? What meaning can you glean?

Exercise: Write a short piece of reflection – a paragraph or two, reflecting on the scene around the table you’ve just written. What did it make you think? Feel? Understand? How did this experience shape you? Can you see a greater pattern? Find some meaning? Ask yourselves questions on the page too. Is this really how it was? How could it have been different? How am I different?

These TWO MEs interweave throughout a memoir and together they create not just a story of your life, but a way of interpreting that life and sharing your hard-won wisdom with others. Vivian Gornick talks about this in her book The Situation and The Story. She says that The Situation is the events of the past we recreate in scenes, but that The Storycomes from the writer’s choice of those events, reflection and meaning creation. See also my post The Benefit of Hindsight.

DEAR MADMAN

When I first started researching and writing Dear Madman (my forthcoming historical true crime memoir) my intention was for it to be a memoir. But once I started writing, the voice of the murderer demanded to be heard, and what I wrote that first draft, was a novel recreating the events leading up to the crime and its aftermath. I’d tried to hide myself once again, the old “chicken’s way out”.

But after attending workshops with the brilliant, generous and talented Susan Johnson and Kris Olsson, I realised that my Wise Me Now voice was essential to interpret and create meaning from the meaningless murder. In order to share all I’d learned in my research and through the process of writing the recreation, and to reflect upon the intergenerational impact of violent crimes, I needed to be there. Me. No chickening out! Bugger it!

At first, I wrote a separate text – an essay titled “In Search of the Shadow Man and the Nature of Forgiveness”, but eventually I realised the essay needed to be a part of the main story. That I was a character in my book, as much as the murderer was. So I interwove my reflections and insights throughout the fictionalised recreation of events and took the path of courage.

Writing this book has almost killed me. I have carried the story of the murder of my Nana’s sister since I was a child, trying to make sense of it, to find a way to understand why such an awful thing would happen. I am beyond excited that finally this story is written and is being published by AndAlso Books in March 2026. YAY! At last. After beginning to write this book in earnest back in 2010, I can now give this story to others and free myself from it, forever.

So dear, brave memoirist, I understand your hesitance about putting yourself into the story, but you need to be there.

Soon you’ll be off and flying – writing your truth and feeling free!

Have courage. Speak your truth. Write your story!

Have you got any tips for memoir writing and creating a character from yourself? Do share them in the comments. I love hearing from you.

Hope to see you at the launch! (subscribe to my newsletter for more launch details)

Lots of love

Edwina   xx

My new headshot for the book! What do you think?