EEEEEEErt!

Parody EEEEEEErt!

2011-04-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

If only the Lonely Island knew what seeds they planted.

The Mgmt.

Climbed exclusively for us by The Michael Betts, II. And Yes, that's definite!

2011-04-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

Your phone rings, you look at it. It's an unknown number. Overlooking all the things your mother has ever told you, you answer the phone. A low raspy, almost congested voice barks at you from the otherside; "I need your help", it says. You respond without hesitation, "little bro, stop being ridiculous and get off the phone, you're wasting my minutes". Immediately the voice snaps back, " I ain't your little brother". You roll your eyes and say " And I gave birth to myself", upon which you hang up. Batman, in awe struck horror, hands Joker the phone and says, "You'd think people would recognize the voice, what's the difference between me and you?" Joker's reply? "I ain't wearin' hockey pads"...

The Mgmt.

Projected with care by The Michael Betts, II. And Yes, that's definite!

EEEEEEEdible EEEEEEErt!

2011-04-25T23:57:00.000-07:00

One day you're walking on the streets paved by National Title banners and you look up and see a shining sweets sign shimmering down on you. You praise the Lord and move inside only to find Jesus has granted you a portion of proverbial heaven on earth. Frozen Yogurt; all the flavor and none of the calories, or so we are lead to believe. After a moment of refreshing delight, you stride out, praying God leads you back to such a beautiful place of delectable decency...

The Mgmt.

Scooped just for us by The Natassia Rodriguez. And Yes, that's definite!

Snow Dolphin Sightings!

2011-04-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

While in Colorado this winter, be sure to be on the look out for snow dolphins. They only come to the surface of the snow when instigated, typically in situations of snow agitation such as skiing, sledding, tubing, or falling down the mountain face. Be sure to steer clear of the females, they often are armed with slush balls as a deterrent from bothering their children....

The Mgmt.

Captured by The Benjamin Whitley! And Yes, that's definite!

Always misunderstood...

2011-04-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes being misunderstood, you could end up with jail time on your hands...

The Mgmt.

Legal action brought to us by The Laura Turner. And Yes, that's definite!

Would you like a cup of kitten?

2011-04-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

While in England you are invited to tea at the Queen's Palace. You put on your Sunday Best, brush your teeth, and comb your hair.

Upon reaching the gate, you use your best manners and smile when talked to.

You are finally seated and this is what is placed in front of you. Stay thirsty my friend...

The Mgmt.

This was prrred for us exclusively by The Gabby Seider. And Yes, that's definite!

Money doesn't grow on trees... but Computers do...

2011-04-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

As your walking along in the enchanted forest of Gatesland, you hear something which sounds a lot like a processor and a fan. You continue to walk until you come upon a computer tree. It quite literally has a monitor in the bark where you can ask it's age and hear it talk; it might even be kin to Grandmother Willow (Come on people, Pocahontas references shant fall on deaf, or un"disney"cated ears). This is the one time you can tell you parents that "although money doesn't grow on trees, computers that can be sold do"...

The Mgmt.

This was grown for us by The Lee Sechrest. And Yes, that's definite!

EEEEEEErt! EEEEEEEvents!

2011-04-25T21:16:00.000-07:00

If you're gonna be around the Rochester area any given year from February 1st- March 14th, be sure to stop in at the George Eastman House and see Zoe Beloff's Film Exhibition! It is sure to be a hit and we at EEEEEEErt! will definitely be sure to pop in and show so love! We'll also be sure to post about what we see!

The Mgmt.

This ad was brought to us by The Katherine Richey. And Yes, that's definite!

If the cube was a problem the .gif will solve it, Check out the hook while Vanilla revolves it...

2011-04-25T18:49:00.000-07:00

In a heist situation, your kidnapper hands you a Rubik's Cube and a solution book and says "If you can solve this in under three minutes, I will let you all go and turn myself in." Having been a kid who didn't learn to follow written directions, you request a visual example, thus after googling for visual solutions you are presented with this one. The only problem, you have three minutes and you just lost your network connection...

The Mgmt.

This solution manual was googled and gimped by The Jonathan Jackson. And Yes, that's definite!

He's got the whole world in his hands...

2011-04-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

Recently, while looking through your telescope you notice a very large set of hands attached to the earth, helping it to orbit. Upon closer inspection you notice these hands are attached to a pair of arms, which are attached to a pair of shoulders, which have a body and and... the FACE OF OBAMA??!! What?! This must be a dream. You begin to attempt to wake up, but then you notice the way he is handling the globe and realize he is about to dunk on some galactic defenders. Stay tuned next week to find out if our current president has got hops...

The Mgmt.

This global domination has been brought to us by The Connor Forman. And Yes, that's definite!

Polly want a... butterfly?

2011-04-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Walking into a pet shop at first glance you see a parrot you'd love to take home, that is of course until you hear a large patter of wings and notice the extensive butterfly net. Polly wanted a cracker and end up "fluttering to pieces". Quite honestly, leaving the pet shop wouldn't be a bad idea; if these "parroting" butterflies are in the front, heaven only knows what other chameleons may be here...

The Mgmt.

Brought to light by The Robbie Edwards. And Yes, that's definite!

EEEEEEErtistic! Emus!

2011-04-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

Next time you find yourself in Paris, be sure to stop in at The Louvre. You may catch the EEEEEEErtistic Emus in action (alliteration, isn't it wonderful?).

Only once a year can this spectacle be seen, sometime between April 30th and May 1st. But be forewarned! If you scare them, they we go wild and artistic history as we know it, will dissipate ( a high price to pay for a gimmick).

-The Mgmt

This was imported to us by The Jessica Crowley. And Yes, that's definite!

How to Lose a Vampire in 10 days!

2011-04-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

This is bound to be the greatest advice ever offered on how not to have a blood sucking stalker on your hands! If you follow it closely, you'll be surprised how well it works for you; grant it, if worst comes to worst, you can always take your shirt off and just sparkle in the sun...

The Mgmt

Brought on a full moon to us, by The Countess (Kari) Bussell. And Yes, that's definite!

"Foldgers... nothing comes closer to home"

2011-04-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

...unless of course you're being poured a cup of THE UNIVERSE!!! Only able to be purchased at a small cafe, outside the gates of Heaven, one might say this is tall cup o'joe! You want a caffeine rush, this cup might just leave you star struck, literally! But then again, maybe this is what it would be like everyday if you were God. But, one can only speculate.

-The Mgmt.

Brought from a galaxy far, far away by The Kenneth Addison. And Yes, that's definite!

Beware the Land Shark!

2011-04-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

One day you find yourself walking along in the desert only to come upon a creature your human senses cannot begin to fathom. Still alive in the present day fictitious motif, the Land Shark is the most daunting of all creatures past or present. Given it's ferocious and non-anticipated nature, often its victims find themselves in the most obscure of places during it's attacks. Therefore, it is wise to heed the advice of Mr. Wayne's butler, Alfed, and keep in your possession a large can of Shark Repellent. If anything, the least we can say is "We tried to warn you."
-The Mgmt.

This was brought to us, courtesy of The Justin Adams. And yes, that's definite!