In fact, I rarely consciously use EFT.  It’s just part of my life. If I am on the phone and find myself getting wound up, I’ll tap on the collar bone point.

If I find myself getting triggered in a conversation, I’ll tap on the points in the moment.

Once in a while, I’ll find myself stuck on something and you might find me pacing my bedroom, tapping and talking out loud.

Or if I have the sense that something deeper is brewing, I’ll get help from another professional.  I actually don’t like doing the deeper work alone; I need the co-creative and safe space of another.

I also have the benefit of tapping along with clients – I indeed notice how much calmer I feel after a client session – and while part of that is indeed a sense of satisfaction with a job well done, how much of that calm feeling is from having an hour of my own tapping?

There is no wrong or right way to integrate tapping into your lives.  I’d love to hear how you find yourself tapping during the day.

Image by Qthomasbower

On Sunday, Sept. 25th, I hosted a call where I worked with several different folks on their Human Design charts using EFT.   We looked at some of the issues tied to living our aura – either as a manifestor, generator or projector.   The call was quite amazing as we started to untangle some of the pain of thinking we have to do things a certain way when in fact we are designed to do things our way.

A manifestor talks about the apparent conflict between having a high-impact aura (being a big ship in a small harbor with lots of small ships) and not wanting to run over other people.  So how can she be considerate of others but not burn herself out?  Listen in for the reframe and I hope you are as astonished as I am.

A generator and I tap together on some of the challenges of surrendering to the now, surrending to our sacral, and learning that both our yeses and our no’s are valid.

And a projector, with sacral envy — I thought she was teasing at first and mistakenly was way too-light-hearted – but there was a real heart-felt agony about how to be herself and get it all done.  Again, the shift she made around accepting her aura gave me goose-bumps.

And finally with another projector – running a life-coaching business but in her way.  How do we ignore all the ego-driven, manifesting energy most business owners use and instead allow our energy to show us the path?

The call is about an hour and you can listen  or download here:  Human Design and EFT

Last week I talked about matching the language of the set-up to your current emotional state. For some folks, saying, “I love and accept myself” feels like complete nonsense.

If you are saying the set-up but feel no connection to it, try some alternative language. Notice how I am gently shifting the energy from hate to credit.

Even though I have this issue, and I hate myself for it, I give myself permission to hate myself.

Even though I have this issue and it feels so engrained in my cells, I have no hope for changing, I give myself permission to have a tiny bit of hope.

Even though I have this issue, and I’ve had it for so long, who would I be without it?

Even though this issue has felt overwhelming to me, I give myself credit for tapping on it.

Notice how this language can move us from the first level of feeling judgmental to the next opening of acknowledging we want to change.

Next time I’ll share more language for when we want to change but don’t trust that we can.

The Levels of the Set-Up Phrase

• Judgmental of self and closed to this issue being acceptable
• Wanting to change but not trusting it’s possible
• Wanting to be open to the idea that I’m okay
• Becoming more open to the idea that this unintegrated part of me can be healed
• Opening to accepting myself
• Fully and deeply accepting myself

Abraham-Hicks’ fans are very familiar with the concept of an Emotional Guidance Scale – a continuum of emotions ranging from despair to joy. A similar concept applies to the phrase used during the set-up tapping. We can vary the language so that we capture where we are now and move one step up on the scale.

The gradients of the scale might look like this:

• Judgmental of self and closed to this issue being acceptable
• Wanting to change but not trusting it’s possible
• Wanting to be open to the idea that I’m okay
• Becoming more open to the idea that this unintegrated part of me can be healed
• Opening to accepting myself
• Fully and deeply accepting myself.

There are three aspects of the set-up phrase.

1) Finding language that fits at the beginning.
2) Shifting language as you tap to introduce a cognitive shift.
3) Using new language to test progress.

I’ll go over each of these in the next few posts.  For now, pay attention to what language you are using during the set-up and how true it feels to you as you tap. Where are you on the scale and what’s one step up?

Deborah Donndelinger says, “I have come up with an approach for using EFT to resolve deep-seated problems rooted in our family history.” You may it useful.

Hugs, Gary

Hi Gary,

I have come up with an approach for using EFT to resolve deep-seated problems rooted in our family history. (I call it Family Energetics). I am getting outstanding results with every single client I use this approach with. That’s because I have folks look at areas that they didn’t realize were impacting them and then use EFT to clear those areas, gently and effectively. So this approach adds in a different line of questioning that can show where we need to tap. I don’t recommend it for folks new to EFT.

My clients, including many seasoned EFT practitioners, are pleasantly surprised at the amount of energy moved and the great results achieved. They feel a greater sense of peace and ease with their family relationships, work, money, and self-love – all good stuff!

I love it because we are extending the foundational EFT principle of loving ourselves no matter what (of course found in the set-up phrase) to the entire ancestral family system. It’s a built-in human desire – we want to feel good about where we come from and who we are.

The starting premise, from the field of Family Constellations, is that any place there is an excluded person in the family history that hasn’t been recognized, there is a loss of love available to the current person. The solution is to see what and who’s been lost.

We then use EFT to clear the emotions for all involved using tapping and surrogate tapping. This opens the path so that we can feel and find the love that supports us, which is the key to moving forward and unleashing a huge capacity to give love back to ourselves, our families, and the world in general.

We get support when we are energetically connected to our family line. When we can see every mishap, every bad action, every horrible thing that happened and see the love that’s behind that story, we move into a space of acceptance and freedom. This requires a very real and deep ability by the practitioner to be non-judgmental and view everyone with love, regardless of their actions. This requires the courage to see what’s in the system as well as the knowledge that the emotions can be cleared with tapping. Again, I do NOT recommend this approach for folks new to EFT.

When to Use

The approach I am describing here I use mostly with folks who have already done a lot of tapping. In fact, there might not be any obvious symptoms or issues on the surface but after doing this work, things just get even better than before. It also can be used in when there are specific issues being worked on. I use it after we’ve tapped on the specific issues. I definitely do not use it as the client’s first exposure to tapping. He/she needs to develop confidence and trust in the effectiveness of EFT first. My preference is to do this exercise with every client; so much rich material comes up.

How to Use

The first place to start is with the client’s connection to the parents. I ask the client to imagine facing her mother and father and tell me what she notices. I’ve never met a client who didn’t have some sort of intensity the first time they did this exercise. In fact, if I suspect that there might be a very strong reaction, I’ll use a version of the tearless trauma technique and have the client imagine herself imagining herself facing her parents.

I use a combination of my client’s language and my own as I introduce some reframes. Here’s an example based on a composite of several clients’ experiences.

Me: Imagine your parents are in front of you, facing you. How close are they to you?
Client: My dad is right in my face and my mom is off in the corner. She’s turned away.
Me: How does it feel with your dad there and your mom away?
Client: I feel scared – like he’s going to hurt me and my mom is not going to help.

Depending on how much intensity the client is feeling, we might start tapping immediately or I might ask for more information about how and where she feels the intensity in their body. I ask for their level of intensity so we can track progress.

Even though I’m scared because my father is going to hurt me and my mother isn’t available to help me…

Even though I have this fear in my stomach, I love and accept my fear anyway…

Introducing the reframe:

Even though my father’s anger isn’t about me, but I was the one who was there to feel it, I love and accept and forgive myself anyway.

EB: This anger
SE: It’s not about me
UE: I was the target
UN: This fear
CH: It wasn’t about me.
CB: I was the target.
UA: I can now see this fear and anger and it’s okay.

Once the level of intensity is at 3 or less on a scale of 0 to 10 or less, we move on. The next step is to ask about the underlying loss that’s causing the family disconnect. Since this loss is often hidden, we need to know what to look for. It’s important that the practitioner keep a picture in her head of each generation of parents being connected to their children, with the love flowing from generation to generation. That’s the solution picture; our job is to find out why the love has stopped flowing and to KNOW that the connection can be made again by this work.

There are key questions to ask at this point. I am looking for lost children, miscarriages, lost loves, early deaths, crimes, losses due to war, losses of a homeland, any place where a connection was lost and wasn’t properly acknowledged.

In this case, knowing that there is a reason the mother is turned away, and that we need to find a way to reconnect the mother with the client, I ask about the mother’s history. Please note that I don’t ask about the father. We are looking for where energy is being drained or lost from the family system. The mother is the one who is not available, not the father.

The client tells me that her mother lost a child in birth before the client was born. Depending on how much intensity the client is feeling we might tap immediately or I might I ask the client to just imagine looking at her mother mourning the unborn child. Together, we tap for the mother and the unborn child.

Tapping for the mother: Even though I lost my baby, and I can’t stand to feel it, I am open to the idea of loving myself anyway.

Even though I feel unlovable because I lost my baby, I am open to the idea that I am still the mother to that baby.

Even though I’ve been missing this baby horribly and I just didn’t know it, I’m becoming aware that I have another child who needs my love.

EB: This unbearable loss
SE: I want my baby.
UE: They didn’t let me hold her.
UN: This grief.
CH: I want my baby.
CB: This loss.
UA: I am willing now to see my baby.

Now it’s time to introduce the concept that the baby and mother are always connected in love and that the mother is available for her living child.

EB: I see this baby and she will always have a place in my heart.
SE: I see this baby, she’s mine, she’s ours, she will always have a place in both of our hearts.
UE: I see this baby, she’s ours. She was the first child.
UN: And we had another.
CH: I am the mother to two children.
CB: I can see both of my children now.
UA: I can feel the love for both of my children.

I ask the client to recheck how it feels to imagine looking at her mother and sibling. At this time, the client tunes into her own sense of loss of a sibling and we tap on that.

After a few more rounds of tapping, when the client feels at peace, we then go back to the original imagination of the client facing her parents. In this case, the client feels complete. She’s feeling connected to both of her parents. When she checks in with me later in the week, she tells me how connected she feels with her own children and how much easier things feel overall for her. At a family reunion later that month, she is amazed at how she is connecting with her extended family and she no longer feels out of place.

There are many levels to this approach: connecting with grandparents and great-grandparents, connecting with our homeland, connecting with our own children, and connecting with our partners. Some clients need to explore many facets of their family history, others need just this one reconnection exercise I’ve described. Regardless of how it happens, imagine if every person who learned EFT, every person who tapped, was able to feel connected and supported and loved by their family heritage? What a huge outpouring of love would be available for the world. That’s my dream.

Love and hugs to you and thanks for all you do.
Deborah

Deborah Donndelinger, EFTCert-I

Homeopathy is an entirely different form of medicine that can cure a cold and does stop the flu. Even better, homeopathy can cure serious illnesses, alleviate chronic conditions and historically has been quite successful during the rampage of epidemics.[i]

Why not more folks?

I have often wondered why more folks don’t use homeopathy. From my point of view, there are several reasons.

• Remedies are not patentable and are therefore inexpensive — there is less financial incentive to market them.
• Homeopathy requires an expansive view of the world and the acceptance of the energetic nature of things.
• Homeopathy is in direct conflict with the Western medical (allopathic) model. It takes courage and initiative to integrate homeopathy into our other health care practices.
• Homeopathy takes time to learn and apply. Sometimes it is quite easy to identify a remedy, sometimes it is more complicated. But the results are impressive and worth the effort.

Homeopathy guides the body to heal itself with no side effects. The benefits of homeopathy over allopathic medicine are several:

• It works – we get quick relief from acute illnesses and we see long-term improvement in chronic conditions.
• There is no rebound effect. A rebound effect is when you get worse after you stop taking the medicine. That’s because your body has gotten used to the presence of the medicine and when the medicine goes away, the body has to readjust. That doesn’t happen with homeopathy – because homeopathy works with the principle “like cures like”, it stimulates the body to address the symptoms itself rather than have a drug address them. It is the exact opposite of allopathic medicine.
• There are no permanent harmful side effects. Sometimes a symptom will get worse before it gets better but that’s part of the healing process. It is possible to develop new symptoms by taking the wrong remedy for an extended period of time. But generally the wrong remedy taken a few times has no effect.
• Homeopathy helps the body get healthier over time.

What is homeopathy?[ii]

Homeopathy is a highly individualized form of medicine that improves health based on the principle that Like Cures Like. It is an energetic form of medicine that stimulates the body to heal itself using homeopathic remedies. A person’s symptoms are a guide to what remedy is needed. So for a headache, there are numerous remedies that could be taken — it all depends on the specific symptoms the person is showing.

Homeopathic remedies are made from a wide variety of substances that are diluted and succussed according to very specific guidelines. Each remedy has a set of symptoms that it will cure. There are thousands of remedies. For exposure to poison ivy, one remedy that is often used is made from poison ivy. (Like cures like ..) However there are also other remedies used to treat poison ivy. It all depends on the particular symptoms that the person is showing. The main thing to know is that there are no side effects, homeopathy uses the body’s own energetic force to heal itself, and a remedy acts like a signal to the body telling it how to heal itself.Finally, homeopathy is not the use of herbs. It is a specific form of medicine that looks at illness and cure very differently.

Ways to Get started with Homeopathy

There are several ways to start integrating homeopathy into your health care.

1. Read books on homeopathy, buy a home remedy kit, and start treating minor illnesses at home yourself; or,
2. Find a professional homeopath and start treatment to improve your overall health and address any chronic conditions.

To Treat Acute Conditions Yourself, You Need a Good Book and Access to Remedies

Acute conditions, conditions that are typically short-lasting such as colds, injuries, ear infections, stomach bugs, etc, are an excellent place to begin learning about and applying homeopathy at home. The top three books I use this are:

Homeopathic Self-Care by Robert Ullman and Judyth Reichenberg-Ullman;
Homeopathic Medicine for Children and Infants by Dana Ullman: and
The Complete Homeopathy Handbook by Miranda Castro

A Professional can Help you With Serious Ailments like ADD and Autism
If you have a child with a more serious condition like autism, ADD, allergies, etc, then a professional homeopath is needed.

There are a wide range of homeopaths currently practicing so it is important to do some research before choosing one. I work with Dr. Robert Ullman long distance – because homeopathy is so specific to each person’s emotional and mental state, it is remarkably quite effective to work by phone. The nice thing about working with a homeopath is that if there is an acute case I can’t figure out myself, I have professional back-up.

Background Reading

The Impossible Cure by Amy Lansky is a great book for beginners to homeopathy. She cured her son of autism using homeopathy. The book is an inspiring introduction into the wonders of homeopathy. Her website is: http://www.impossiblecure.com.

Ritalin-Free Kids : Safe and Effective Homeopathic Medicine for ADD and Other Behavioral and Learning Problems, and A Drug-Free Approach to Asperger Syndrome and Autism: Homeopathic Care for Exceptional Kids both by Robert Ullman and Judyth Reichenberg-Ullman

These two books are helpful in reading about other children who have recovered from autism and other disorders. You can’t treat your child yourself but it does offer insights into how homeopathy works.

Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You To Know About by Kevin Trudeau

This book doesn’t go into detail about homeopathy but did really convince me about the toxic side effects of conventional medicine. I find the author to be a bit extreme in his language but I still learned some good things from the book.

The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto, David A. Thayne (Translator)

This book helped expand my view of the world and the power of energy. I read it recently and it was another supporting view for homeopathy.

My Favorite Online Sources for Remedy Kits

You can buy remedies at a health food store or online. You can also buy kits of 25 or 50 remedies. The price savings are substantial with a kit and it is helpful to have a basic set of remedies at home so that you are prepared. I have bought kits from three places and all three are well-regarded. There are different potencies of remedies – for home use, a 30c is considered the best. There is no guarantee that a kit will contain every remedy you will need but it’s a great way to get started. I started off with one kit of 50 remedies of 30c potency – once I decided I was serious about homeopathy, I expanded my supply to include 200C and 1M potencies. But to start, 30C is the one to buy.

Washington Homeopathics is my first choice: http://www.homeopathyworks.com

Hahnemann Labs is also an excellent source.
http://www.hahnemannlabs.com/

And I have found some other kits at http://www.a2zhomeopathy.com/

Online Course

If you are one of the people who needs to dive into detail about a subject (and are probably the only ones who read this far!), there is an online course that is a very good introduction to homeopathy. It costs $60 for a three month email course.

Sheri Naken runs it and her email is: homeopathycures@tesco.net

- Deborah D.

P.S. Anyone can do it!
In the past five years I have moved from knowing nothing about homeopathy to using homeopathy for all of our medical needs. I treat our family for acute illnesses and when I need help, I call my homeopath. It really is possible for anyone to learn about and use homeopathy.

Of course, use common sense and talk with your health care provider.

[i] Some history of the treatment of epidemics with homeopathy by Julian Winston

http://www.homeopathic.org/crhistJW2.htm

[ii] For a more complete introduction, please see the website at: http://www.homeopathic.org/whatis.html

Everything I had felt wrong about was made clearer and I felt comfort in knowing that others felt the same. At a workshop, I had the chance to be with a group of my own type for a panel discussion — the power of standing with a group of my own type is indescribable – it was a sense of coming home and being fully accepted and known for who I am.

Okay, so what is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is an ancient tool that helps explain oneself – it can be used for self-discovery and spiritual development. Collectively, it can move us towards unity and world peace. As parents, it helps us raise our children more freely and less influenced by our own ego needs. While I have been working with the Enneagram on and off for over 15 years, I still learn from it daily.

I hope that others are as intrigued by it as I am …

The Enneagram provides a framework or understanding of what particular mask a person hides behind, of what basic misunderstanding each of us has of the world around us. While it is very liberating to discover one’s true type; it can also feel exposing and a bit scary. Go gentle with yourself and take some time. Once you discover your true type, there is a new world to look at.

There are nine types, each driven by a basic need, fear or misunderstanding of the world, which influences how they act and what they perceive; paradoxically leading to the very thing they fear most. Each type is named a number; different authors assign different labels to each. I just stick with the numbers.

No number is better or worse than another.

• The 1 has the need to be perfect or right.
• The 2 has the need to be needed.
• The 3 has the need to succeed.
• The 4 has the need to be different.
• The 5 has the need to perceive/know.
• The 6 has the need for structure.
• The 7 has the need to feel no pain.
• The 8 has the need to be against.
• The 9 has the need to be at peace.

Rap Song

Kathleen Hurley, a noted author and researcher on the Enneagram, has a rap song – the lyrics actually do a very good job of explaining each type. Remember, each type has a vice and a virtue – so pay attention to which one bugs you – might be a sign to your type.

Quoted from her book co-authored with Dobson: My Best Self Using the Enneagram to Free the Soul; excerpted from pp. 35 to 94. Some grammar changed to make it more readable.

Ones

Ones are Achievers, busy beavers they are
Just a-working so hard, got no time to play
Making lots of lists, then checking them twice,
Starts a slow burn of anger, cause that’s their vice.

Wanna be nice, wanna be good –
But saying yes to everyone gives them too many shoulds
Too many projects only half done
Life is hard and then you die – man, that’s no fun.

Twos

Twos are the Helpers, called living saints,
But you’d better be grateful or saints they ain’t,
Gentle and caring, about the problems you face,
They’re like heaven-sent angels just showering grace.

Give lots of advice, have answers for you
Never talk about themselves, that’s strictly taboo
Being oh so sweet, oh so nice
Hides pride – cause that’s their particular vice.

Threes

Places to go and people to see
That’s the way a Three is bound to Succeed
Keep a smile on their face, their head in the air
So everyone’ll think they really going somewhere

If they fail, you can’t tell by looking in their eyes
Too afraid to show it, they wear a disguise
Looking, acting, dressing like a VIP
Don’t matter how they feel, just what you see

Fours

Individualists are special, their number is Four
Gushy feelings so intense they just drip on the floor
Very creative, and they love to preen
Singing, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen”

French cuisine, the artsy scene are simple pleasures
But a friend who understands is a priceless treasure
Green with envy and acting superior
They’re feeling unlovable and mostly inferior.

Fives

Fives are observers – eccentric old birds
Gather lots of knowledge, don’t need to be heard
Sit and plan and ponder and think things through
Till all the time is gone – there’s no time to do.

Stop feeling and emoting and reacting – my god!
It’s the only way to keep your feet on the sod
Interesting people and clever for sure
Who find social climbing just pure manure

Sixes

Sixes are Guardians, responsible for sure
Following the rules is the way they feel secure
Active, charming people and oh so gracious
But if you dare cross them their behavior’s outrageous

Keepers of tradition, they trust the tried and true
Why change what works for something cheap and new?
‘Cause decisions are difficult, often very scary
They’ll seek advice from everyone –fear makes them wary

Sevens

Sevens are Dreamers, visionary schemers
Fancy lots of money and driving new Beemers
Optimistic and happy, find it tough growing up
‘Cause they shirk from work and run to fun and follow Lady Luck

So mentally creative, with genius unmatched
Don’t try to pen them cause they’ll break the latch
Friends are a joy – just living feels like heaven
They’ll be your friend until the end with happiness their leaven.

Eights

Eights are Confronters – they know the power of words
You may regret you met, but not forget you heard
Ambitious and creative, lusting after power
They think they’re right – they stand and fight until you cower.

Tenderness lies hidden like a mountain’s vein of gold
Sparkles in their caring for the young, the weak, the old
Justice is their purpose, but their strength makes people nervous
Only God is unafraid to lead them into service

Nines

Nines are preservationists, peace is all they seek
Will sit and watch the mountain grow for hours, days and weeks
At work they’re respected, but emotionally neglected
So being easygoing is how they stay connected

Wanna argue? Better plan to be alone
‘Cause, man, they’re outta here, and you are on your own
No setting goals or working or ever making hay
These gentle, lazy peole always choose to play.”

Parenting

Riso and Hudson, two leading researchers on the Ennegram have authored many significant books on the subject and have a very extensive website. Their written material is very rich. The following from their website shows the practical application of the Ennegram to Parenting:

What Parents Expect From Their Children:

Type One
May demand self-control, reasonableness, regularity, and the ability to delay rewards—that their child be a Little Adult

Type Two
May demand generosity, thoughtfulness, helpfulness, and attention to others—that their child be a Little Helper

Type Three
May demand being outstanding at tasks, fulfilling family hopes, physical perfection, and popularity—that their child be a Little Star

Type Four
May demand sensitivity, artistic creativity, emotional depth, and understanding—that their child be a Little Therapist

Type Five
May demand independence, studiousness, intellectual gifts, and curiosity—that their child be a Little Genius

Type Six
May demand dependability, obedience, perseverance, and trustworthiness—that their child be a Little Trouper

Type Seven
May demand vitality, good humor, resilience, and spontaneity—that their child be a Little Entertainer

Type Eight
May demand toughness, self-sufficiency, courage, and willpower—that their child be a Little Entrepreneur

Type Nine May demand quietness, lack of demands, gentleness, and non-needinesss—that their child be a Little Angel”

(http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/practical.asp)

Integrating

One helpful insight is that each of us can move from average awareness and integration to a more healthy expression of ourselves. So for example, an average three has the need to be accepted and successful. She is hardworking and very task oriented. She will do what is needed to excel in the eyes of those she wishes to impress. Unfortunately, in doing so, she never gets a chance to tune into what she really wants; she is out of touch with her emotions and uses her intuition only to impress others. She is always acting a role and so when she is accepted, can’t accept the acceptance for it was all an act …. So a three will want to be the perfect mother, doing everything considered right, and can’t consider failure as an option. But she won’t feel a true heart connection to her child.

A healthy three learns to tune into herself and access her emotions. She learns to follow her own path and in turn becomes a model of self-improvement for others. She will still be an energetic type but will become more balanced as she is aware of her threeness.

So, the rap song above and the brief descriptions below are each type in its average state of unconsciousness. Folks who have been doing a lot of personal work on themselves will identify more with the healthier stages as described by Riso and Hudson.

The four has the need to be different and comes from a place of deep emotion. She most desires to be understood but in her constructs always feels different and thus misunderstood. She has a deep intuition. She is often artistic and creative but stands alone in her own emotional drama.

The five has the need for knowledge. She tends to sit on the sidelines and observe. She needs more knowledge to feel secure in the world. She often contributes original ideas and is a great assimilator of information on a global scale.

The six has the need for structure, which often looks like belonging to a group. She is most loyal and needs the group affiliation to feel safe. She is very cautious and is often the keeper of the norms and customs of the community she belongs to.

The seven has the need to feel no pain. She is an energetic type and will move from one activity to another. She is very optimistic and refuses to see the limitations in the situation. She thinks positively of herself and others and bring a spirit of light-heartedness to things.

The eight has the need to not be controlled. She will overreact to any attempt to control her. She is an assertive type and has a huge presence. She is a strong leader and very protective of those inside her family and circle.

The nine has the need to not be in conflict, to be at peace. She doesn’t like to feel or express her anger. She is powerful in a gentle way – independent – but just does’t like direct confrontations. Nines are often most taken for granted.

The one has the need to be right. The rules are to be lived by and the rules keep the one safe. The one lives by a strict set of principles and are often committed to social causes.

The two has the need to be needed. She is most focused on doing for others what they need and in turn is not aware of what she needs. She is very sociable and eager to help and please at the expense of denying her own needs.

There are many different relationshiops within the Enneagram. It truly is a lifetime’s work to delve into it. I will end here as it gets too complicated, and lengthy, to discuss the other aspects of the Enneagram – and truly there are plenty of resources available.

I hope you are a bit intrigued and find the Enneagram useful. I welcome you on a wonderful path of insight ….

(And in case it isn’t obvious from my writing, I am a three with a 4 wing.)

Resources:

Helen Palmer and David Daniels website:
http://www.authenticenneagram.com/

Riso and Hudson’s website: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com

The Essential Enneagram: The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide by David N. Daniels, Virginia A. Price – a great short book on the Enneagram.

http://www.hurleydonson.com/

“I did my very first EFT phone coaching session with Deborah for my son’s eczema. Within 3 days his skin looked better than it had a 2 months. EFT is so much easier than an elimination diet.” TRACY

In children, allergies produce all sorts of reactions including dark circles under the eyes, hyperness, grouchiness, and an inability to focus. The same thing is true in adults: allergy-like sensitivities result is emotional and physical disorders.

Exposure to multiple stresses including environmental toxins and unhealthy foods can lead to an allergic temperament.

Luckily there are many energetic based approaches to regain our balance and help our children. For myself and family, I have used homeopathy, EFT, and NAET. EFT is by far the easiest and is highly effective.

Allergy Tapping Sequence

Here’s an example of how to use EFT to clear an allergy. I’ll use the example of cats but it’s limitless. With allergies there is often an emotional component. (For cats, it’s sometimes about mothering and intuition.) For other allergies, the wording would vary. Use your own intuition and see what wording comes up.

To be clear — it’s not just the wording — you have to be tapping the points as well!

Set up Phrase (karate chop or sore spot):

Even though my body doesn’t like cats but I do, I accept my body anyway.

Even though there is no way I could ever be around a cat, I accept the fact that I can’t be around cats.

Even though my body has decided to be allergic to cats, I love and accept myself completely.

Eyebrow Point: Cats make me ill

Side of the eye: I can’t breathe around cats

Under the eye: I can’t see around cats

Nose: I can’t be myself around cats

Chin: There’s no way ever I could ever be around cats!!! (Say it emphatically!)

Collarbone: Cats

Under the Arm: Cats

Top of the Head: Cats

Now to shift to the positive:

Eyebrow Point: But maybe ….

Side of the eye: But maybe, I can be around cats

Under the eye: Maybe my body is opening to accepting cats as cats

Nose: Maybe I am opening to accepting myself as myself

Chin: I can breathe

Collarbone: I can see fully

Under the Arm: I accept myself completely

Top of the Head: And I love cats!

Now if saying I love cats seems too untrue, name what causes you to say that and then tap on that ….

From the EFT Forum:

“While someone else taps along both sides of the spine from base of neck down to hips you tap on the face + collarbone points saying this:

Although I have a reaction to_(whatever it is-substance, dust, animal etc) I deeply & profoundly accept myself & choose to have the body disconnect any & all associations it has made-in any way, shape or form, whether mental, physical, psycological, self-generated or acquired-in each and every cell, tissue & organ of the body-to_________.

(if you can hold the substance-hold it if not imagine it) and hold your other hand with the ring finger and thumb touching and say:

Although I have all these emotions associated with _________I choose to have my body disconnect each and every one of these emotions in each & every cell, tissue & organ of the body.

It’s worth doing, once may do it or you may need to repeat it.”

- Marianna Niebauer

Eliminating Multiple Sensitivities

A great article from Gary’s site, it can be found HERE

Begin quotation:

Hi Everyone,

This is a MUST read for all serious EFT students. Listen in as Jo Hainsworth (from New Zealand) gives us a detailed trip through all the erroneous beliefs that caused her decades long problem. She says, “That afternoon, something incredible happened. It was like I was all of a sudden redefining my whole beliefs about food. I realised for the first time in my life that, despite my lifelong battle with dairy [and other foods], my body does not have a problem with food; it’s the subconscious beliefs that cause the reaction, not the substance itself.”

Hugs, Gary

By Jo Hainsworth

Gary,

Background

I was chronically ill for 16 years, starting at age 10 (chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), recurrent sinus infections and systemic candidiasis), and have long thought that the food sensitivities I had were as a result of the effect of the illness and the treatments for it. My partner Rex and I have recently learned EFT, so we decided to take on my dairy and wheat difficulties, and see what we could do.

I have been dairy and wheat free for 10 years, with the exception of occasional tests with small amounts of dairy and inadvertent “tests” when I’ve been unknowingly exposed to wheat. The reactions to dairy are nearly immediate after eating, however not as severe as the reactions to wheat, which after the smallest exposure can leave me seriously debilitated for several days.

We began our journey with EFT and allergies one day after seeing Carol Look make a comment on one of the EFT Training DVDs, to the effect that underlying a lot of allergy issues, is a feeling of being unsafe. Given that, in addition to the food sensitivities I’ve long had chemical sensitivities as well, this resonated with me.

It prompted the memory of my mother telling me that I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck, and an email to confirm that also revealed that I had been administered a Vitamin K injection shortly after birth. I also remember my mother talking about her having fear during her pregnancy with me. Body dowsing (muscle testing) confirmed that this was the place to start.

The First Session

We began with the earliest issue, and worked on me not feeling safe in the womb. Instead of assigning a level of intensity we used body dowsing to check when we were clear. Next we moved on to the umbilical cord, and as soon as I started tapping I burst into tears and was filled with emotion. Two rounds took care of it.

We then moved on to the Vitamin K injection, taking the approach that when I arrived in the world I felt unsafe as I was first nearly “strangled” (with the umbilical cord), then “stabbed” with the injection. While I initially started with no emotion I soon started shifting to interesting new aspects, which after lots of tapping and some imaginative testing on Rex’s part, resulted in a great by-product of me losing my fear of needles!

We decided to end the session there, as it had been quite emotional, and give me a break before carrying on the next day. However, my body had other plans! Later that afternoon I ate some pickled garlic as I have been doing regularly over the last few months. An hour later my abdomen was bloated and I felt very uncomfortable (I had not reacted to it on any of the occasions I’d eaten it before).

Rex suggested I tap on it, and all of a sudden I started crying as I flicked into when I had systemic candidiasis, and had been eating lots of garlic to try to kill the candida. This led to realising that my body had been a war zone for so many years, with my main metaphor being that we had to do whatever we could to kill the “bad guys”. This was a big part of me feeling unsafe for years, as I felt so vulnerable to the “bad guys” for so long. Later that night some of the minor symptoms that I used to have when killing candida came back, so I tapped on them, and they were gone the following morning.

The Second Session

We commenced the second session with the fact that (as told by my mother) I threw up every time she fed me, and she had to feed me again. We had concluded that perhaps after the initial traumas of my birth, I had just associated the next thing that came my way (milk) as traumatic as well, so tapped on, Even though soon after I was born I felt that food was unsafe for me, I now choose to feel delighted that my body can deal appropriately with all foods.

In arriving at this choice, (and dealing with the psychological reversal standing in the way of getting there!), I finally realised that my reluctance to let go of my reactions was because I saw them as warning signs that I was in unsafe territory, and therefore I saw them as my friends.

We then worked on the fact that I was weaned from the breast at three months and introduced to dairy and wheat (my two main food sensitivities). After that we did a positive round on “It is safe for me to let go of my reactions to food”. We continued with working on several aspects of feeling unsafe with food, then went in on dairy products (cows, goats and sheep separately).

At this stage I felt ready to try some cheese, and I was pleasantly surprised at my reaction to Rex saying “I’ll have to cut the mould off the sides and tidy it up, the only cheese I’ve got is a bit gross.” Normally something like that would trigger all sorts of warning alarms and there is no way I would eat it. The fact that it didn’t bother me gave me great encouragement that what we had done had really dealt with my feeling unsafe with food.

About an hour after eating two slices of cheese (and enjoying it!), I suddenly had itching all over my body. Rex body-dowsed and established that it was not a physical reaction to the cheese, but rather a reaction to my anxiety about the possibility of a reaction! We tapped a few rounds on the itching and there was no difference. Then all of a sudden my level of intensity shot up as I realised that I had a major issue with the “It’s all in your head” phrase that anyone with something like CFS has heard or heard implied many times throughout the years. We tapped on that, and the itching started to subside, but not disappear. The 9 gamut and floor to ceiling eye roll brought the itching down to 0.

Next I started thinking about how people have said that if you haven’t eaten dairy products in a long time, your body doesn’t have the enzyme to digest them, and so we tapped on that too, just to be sure.

That afternoon, something incredible happened. It was like I was all of a sudden redefining my whole beliefs about food. I realised for the first time in my life that, despite my lifelong battle with dairy, my body does not have a problem with food; it’s the subconscious beliefs that cause the reaction, not the substance itself. I wasn’t able to realise this until after we’d cleared the “It’s all in my head”, and as we cleared that, I ended up tapping on “It really is all in my head, and that’s OK!” (and got to the point where I could laugh about it!)

I later found myself asking Rex all sorts of questions on how he saw different types of food, and I began to sort my food beliefs into valid and untrue. I realised for the first time that white bread is not nutritionally useful, but it is not poison to the body (as I had long claimed). I found myself for the first time ever entertaining the idea of actually choosing to eat small amounts of food for their taste, even if they aren’t nutritionally great (I’ve been very strict with my diet ever since my candida days, and although I have enjoyed what I’ve eaten, I’ve now come to realise that my metaphor with a lot of food was the same as my metaphor with the candida – a war zone, with my body trying to “kill” the bad guys (like dairy and wheat.)) I actually found myself daydreaming about trying the chocolate croissants they make here in France, made with two former “poisons”.

The next evening, we decided to go for broke and really test it. Rex made cauliflower cheese, which for me was the greatest test – milk, butter and cheese all in one dish. I ate a good helping, and had no anxiety, except feeling a bit strange that I didn’t have any anxiety! I was a bit phlegmy the next morning and sneezed a couple of times, but that’s a reasonably regular occurrence for me, so we concluded there is no reason to believe that my body cannot handle dairy products, it being a far cry from past reactions to even small amounts of dairy.

I have had multiple chemical and food sensitivities for at least 20 years. For the first time in my life I can now see that it is not a case of something poisonous invading my body, but rather an overreaction caused by my seeing myself as unsafe, and under attack. This has been a major revelation to me.

My metaphor has for so long been that of the canary in the coalmine – alerting the world around me that what we are doing to the environment and our own bodies is not OK. The metaphor has now changed, and the canary is now out of the cage and flying free, however I still have real concerns about our bodies needing safe ways to alert us when what we are doing is not OK. This is something I think I will integrate over time.
Third Session

When we started the third session, we felt that we had made huge inroads into all my allergy issues, as a result of dealing with the issue of not feeling safe, and the realisation that it wasn’t actually my body reacting all that time, it was as a result of invalid associations in my subconscious.

I was however still quite nervous about trying wheat, as a result of the severity of past reactions. I still also felt I had an issue with not wanting to let go of the allergies due to feeling like if I did, nobody would believe that I had ever been sick (this is common for people with illnesses like CFS who have had the “It’s all in your head” implications throughout their lives).

As we tapped on this particular aspect, I realised that the main issue was that while I was very sick but the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me, I started to doubt my own sanity. We were unable to get past psychological reversal on clearing the wheat, until we addressed this aspect.

It was interesting to note here that once we started on this issue, I started crying and accused Rex of making light of the issue and not taking me seriously! It was very hard for him to understand, and I would imagine that any therapists who have not had severe allergies might not realise just how significant this was for me or others like me.

We also addressed the issue that once I no longer had reactions, I needed to choose to rely on my intuition to let me know if it wasn’t a good idea to eat something. And the lifelong dairy “allergy” had disappeared so rapidly and easily, I felt it also important to do a round on “It’s just too easy!” We also did a round with a choice, choosing to be free by learning to choose my own limits, instead of letting my body set them for me.

We then started on the wheat itself, and tapped on the three most recent and severe times I could remember reacting to wheat, and we tapped on Even though I recently heard an ‘expert’ say that wheat is incredibly difficult to clear even with EFT… We then worked on cravings, as I had noticed that I’d been craving cheese ever since the first bit of testing a few days prior.

By this time I was feeling ready to try some organic wheat bread we had purchased for the testing that morning. My only concern was that I wasn’t concerned!!! After enjoying a slice without any symptoms, we made some soup to enjoy the bread with for lunch, and the rest of the day was symptom free. It took a bit of getting my head around this, as past exposure to wheat had left me in pain and with all sorts of horrible symptoms for several days, starting within a couple of hours of eating the wheat.

I noted later in the day, that the cravings I had had for cheese since eating the first lot to test had stopped, and I was not craving the bread at all, which is very unusual as I usually even crave the wheat free bread I eat sometimes. Something else that really stood out for me is that I am normally very paranoid when handling wheat – I always wash my hands right after giving the dogs a biscuit to avoid touching anything that I could later touch before eating. After the tapping, I was very comfortable handling the wheat and had no desire to wash my hands or clean up every crumb on the bench.

That evening we decided to go for broke, and I ate wheat bread, together with three different types of cheeses, with dinner. I enjoyed it, no anxiety at all! A little while after dinner I noticed I was starting to swallow a bit of phlegm. I did a couple of rounds on it, and discovered that I was feeling guilty that I’d eaten so much and expected my “poor body” to be able to cope with digesting it all, for the first time in so long. The phlegm stopped.

A few days later we had dinner with a friend, and as I sat debating in my mind whether to ask what the dessert was, and what it was made of, I realised that it was the first time in 10 years that I had been able to trust that it was OK to eat something, without knowing exactly what was in it. I realised that I have used controlling my food as a way of giving myself a false sense of security, masking the feeling deep down that I wasn’t safe in the world. It was a real eye opener.
Summary

This whole thing has completely blown me away. To think of all the hell I went through during all those years, and it was just because I arrived in the world feeling unsafe, and continued to “build evidence” that that was true as I grew up.

I’m having to revisit everything I’ve “learned” about allergies over the years, and am integrating the fact that it appears that for all these years, my body has not been reacting to substances, but rather to my perception of the lack of safety of those substances. It’s been hard for me to come to terms with, particularly as I’ve had occasions in the past where I have reacted when neither Rex nor I have known that I’ve ingested wheat, and only discovered after some detective work after the symptoms appeared that Rex had unknowingly used stock with a small amount of wheat in it.

However despite what my conscious or unconscious mind thinks I know I am now symptom free after eating dairy and wheat (and some chocolate for the first time in many years!), and looking forward to enjoying a life without so many limitations. The food is only a very small aspect of this, because clearing this issue has completely changed my understanding of healing and health, and I now feel that the sky truly is the limit. I’m excited about taking on a 20 year muscle spasm in my neck next!!!
Note on my use of EFT

While I use the word “tapping” in this article, in actual fact I don’t tap at all. I have practised and taught Reiki for many years, and have used Reiki to do a lot of emotional healing in the past. I now combine the two, and all of this work was done with me running Reiki through my fingertips at each of the EFT tapping points, for a few seconds each round. For anyone who does Reiki, I believe that combining it with the EFT makes it very powerful indeed.

Note on the aspects with fear of needles

While not of interest from the perspective of allergies, the side path we went down on my fear of needles might be of interest to some. As we were tapping on the Vitamin K injection soon after birth, the aspect of my fear of medical needles came up.

This led to all the countless blood tests I’d had that hurt but yielded no benefit as for so long the result was always “we can’t find anything wrong with you.” Then it moved on to the painful twice weekly injections of B12 I’d had during a 6 month period, when I was very ill. Then all of a sudden once that was cleared, I suddenly realised for the first time in my life that my fear of sewing needles being put down on the floor might be a little irrational (for as long as I can remember, if someone has placed a needle down while sewing, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off it, for fear of standing on it and it going into my bloodstream and killing me!)

After I thought we’d dealt with this issue, some deft testing on Rex’s part got my intensity level right back up again. Eventually after several lots of testing, I remembered I had been avoiding getting a splinter out of my finger, because I can’t stand needles, and suggested perhaps it would be the ultimate test. When Rex first got a needle out, I exclaimed that he wasn’t going near my finger with such a big needle, then after another round of tapping, it didn’t seem quite so big after all! When Rex had difficulty getting the splinter out with the needle, I surprised both of us by reaching out for it and saying, “Here, I’ll do it”, and proceeded to successfully dig it out of my own finger with no drama!

Jo Hainsworth

End quotation.

I was the second type …

I read one book during my first pregnancy. I followed their diet recommendations and was pleased with my efforts to follow the rules. When I miscarried, I was caught totally off-guard and couldn’t believe it was happening to me. Grief was transformed into denial with pints of high-fat, high-calorie ice-cream.

A year later I became pregnant again. The pregnancy progressed normally. I took progesterone supplements to prevent another miscarriage but overall paid no attention to my diet; it hadn’t worked the first time, so why bother the second time? I thought about attending child-birth classes, but what was the point? A whisper of worry and fear was mixed in everything I did. I chose an all-female obstetrician practice and hoped to have a natural childbirth – that was the extent of my birth planning.

At 40 weeks and with no signs of imminent labor, the doctor ordered an ultrasound. After 20 minutes flat on my back for the procedure, I felt light-headed and dizzy but kept silent. I then was administered a non-stress test where I was lying partially reclined on my back. I continued to feel dizzy and light-headed. As I slowly contemplated asking the nurse to change my position, everyone came urgently into the room. What I was experiencing physically and what they heard on their monitors was a clear warning sign — my son’s heart-rate was slowing and stopping. I was taken quickly to the hospital for a fearful but non-eventful four hours of monitoring and then a decision to induce “just in case”.

I had wanted a natural delivery but after 12 hours of increasingly higher doses of pitocin and horrible nagging feelings in my lower back, I asked for an epidural. An hour later, I felt some sensations in my lower abdomen. I asked the nurse for more medicine only to be told that the baby was crowning. I was totally unaware. My baby was telling me he was ready to be born and I thought it was a sign I needed more drugs.

The delivery was a vein-bursting 45 minute marathon pushing session. He was large and his upper body got stuck. Once born, he was whisked off to the nursery with my husband. I promptly threw up and fell asleep.

I’ll never forget the feeling of waking up, alone, and desperate for my baby. I called for the nurse to take me upstairs to find him. She moved so slowly. I became increasingly anxious; I needed to be with my child. The nursery attendant greeted me saying, “Glad you are here. He’s been fussing to nurse for a while now”. I was devastated I wasn’t there for him and yet amazed that I knew he needed me.

The combination of the quick delivery, my son’s size, and the delivery position caused facial bruising which led to jaundice which led to daily blood tests which led to photo-therapy. My pediatrician told me to take off a day from nursing to help clear the jaundice. That advice did not feel right to me so I made my first own decision: I didn’t stop nursing as instructed. His bilibrubin levels went up. I got scared and did what I was told. His bilirubin levels went down.

I kept following directions – doing what I thought was needed to be a good mother. I followed the standard immunization protocol and had all the suggested doctor visits. I was able to deviate from public opinion in two areas — co-sleeping and nursing on demand. I changed pediatricians to find one who supported co-sleeping. I wanted a doctor who supported me rather than critiqued me.

Unfortunately, and no one will ever know why, my son developed behavioral and speech problems exasperated by food sensitivities.

It was a challenging path … as a child, and as a mother.

But, somewhere along the way, another birth happened. What started as a small whisper grew into a joyous and adamant shout, saying “LISTEN TO ME.” My inner guidance made her voice heard. I realized I had been giving away my power. I realized, with an absolute heart-dropping thud, that mainstream doesn’t know the answers, and worst of all, it doesn’t know that it doesn’t know.

Somewhere along the way, I started hearing my own inner voice and somewhere along the way, I learned to listen.

Once I started listening, everything changed. I discovered so many worlds to learn from and embrace. My lessons have included homeopathy, energy medicine, and homeschooling. I am now very aware of food and environmental health. We have completely revamped our house and diet, removing all toxic cleaning supplies and switching over to an organic diet. I am using muscle testing, Allergy Antidotes™, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Family Constellations, and other forms of energetic healing. I birthed two more children, both naturally with a midwife and doula, one birth being a waterbirth. We use no allopathic medicine and my two daughters have never had any drug whatsoever. We are homeschoolers using a holistic approach that nourishes our souls and essence. I have undergone a profound personal spiritual transformation with incredible teachers along the way. I now choose support professionals who reflect our holistic lifestyle and I have dear friends who cheer each other on as we live bravely and consciously.

I am in the flow.

Thank you my firstborn for having the soul courage to call me to wake up. And I acknowledge myself as being willing to listen.

Absolutely. The way I do it is to center myself, set the intention of tapping for the other person, and then tap on myself, while speaking in first person for that person. I am often surprised at what I discover. For me, there is a feeling of grace and awe when doing it this way and I treat this process with great love and care.

I always advise my clients to tap on their own stuff first before doing surrogate tapping for someone else.

Do we need permission to surrogate tap for another person?

It’s interesting the different views on surrogate tapping. It really does seem to be a personal decision ….

I have received surrogate tapping as well as offered it. I take it on a case by case basis and normally am quite clear about whether I have permission to surrogate tap or not. I personally don’t think we can interfere with someone else’s path …

I often use the statement given to me by Kathleen Rick (a wonderful practitioner who’s my coach.)

Even though I’m going through this, I embrace my highest good and the healing power of love.

This to me implies no attachment to outcome. When a family member was seriously ill, we used this phrase for tapping for her. While we might have personally wanted her to get well, this phrase gave us the ability to tap (and feel like we were doing something!) but also respect her path.

I do feel strongly that it’s important to clear our own reactions to things before surrogate tapping. When I work with parents who want to work on their children, we tap on the parent’s reactions and sometimes that’s enough. After clearing the parent, THEN I sense whether it’s okay to surrogate tap for the child. Sometimes it’s yes and sometimes it’s no.

Do I have to know how to muscle test in order to surrogate tap?

You don’t need to know how to muscle test to do surrogate tapping. I used to be an avid muscle tester for myself and other and now rarely use it, but that is personal preference.

What would surrogate tapping look like?

Here’s an example of surrogate tapping for a child wetting the bed. The mother and practitioner would say and tap on this wording.

So examples for the set-up might be:

Even though I wet the bed and it feels good to wet the bed but my mom doesn’t like it, I am still an awesome kid.

Even though I am not ready to stop wetting the bed, I am still an awesome kid.

Even though only babies wet the bed and I’m not a baby anymore but I still want to be a baby, I am still an awesome kid.

Some example phrases for tapping the points might be:

I wet the bed and no one can stop me.
It feels good to wet the bed.
I don’t want to get up during the night.
My body isn’t ready to stop wetting during the night.
Maybe it is.
My body is in perfect synch.
My body works perfectly
My body has a perfect elimination system

It’s very interesting what information you can access doing this. Remember to say the phrase out-loud, with animation, exaggerate, have fun and see what comes up.