A million little pieces ,

Another lesson learned , :)

2012-04-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

Hey guys , Assalamualaikum :) What's up? Recently I updated my blog with short posts. Personally, I don't like people who update short post. The other day I was bored and I messed with my boyfriend. So that's the explanation of the short post :)

Okay so ze topic for today is BOYFRIENDDDDDD <3 I'm very much excited because today it's 3rd of March which means, 7 more days to go and RynRith will be 2 years and a half. Yeayyyy! Enough with that , what I really want to share with you guys is a video that I recently watched on youtube. It's a video of a girl expressing her love towards his boyfriend. The positive side of the video is I can feel that she really loves her boyfriend and she has the guts to make a video and upload it on youtube. She uploaded the video , then removed it because she receives bad comments but somehow someone has a copy of that video and upload it once again and I don't know what is the purpose of that someone doing so. I mean she has the rights to that video because it's personal. I know it's not a big of a deal to others since she's not naked or what so ever but it's giving her a bad reputation. Back to the positive side , she has the intention of making a halal relationship with her boyfriend. The negative side is she's way too perky and gedik on the video. Maybe if she just talk without faking her laugh and giving kisses on to the camera, then people won't hate her that much. I'm just saying. People love to judge and you wouldn't want to be remembered as someone who made something which humiliate themselves or showing a bad rep on public. Want to know the funny side of this story? A vlogger named Kyopropaganda send a video response. He hugged a domokun plush and acted gedik as if the girl is his girlfriend. And a chinese guy named Joseph Germani made a video response to Kyopropaganda which is very hilarious. You should watch the video seriously.

What lesson that I learned from this story?
Well , I'm the kind of girl who likes to be all lovey dovey on facebook. Be in a relationship, wall to wall with ze boyfriend, sending cute links, posting romantic pictures of us. To be honest, I'm mengada and just want to be like other mengada couples. But then I realized that I've screwed up in the past and exposing our relationship is not going to change anything. Sometimes I'm jealous by just reading the news feed on facebook but I thought for awhile, why does it matter? Why do I have to be jealous. I'm grateful that God made me know Farith and even fall in love with him. I just have to focus on bringing this relationship to another level and one fine day, people will be jealous because we're married. As jealous as I could be, I just have to accept things with an open heart. Because God has written our journey and God doesn't makes mistake.

I'm thankful that my life isn't bad as others. I have a loving family, a loving boyfriend and that's all I've ever wanted.

reading my previous post

2012-03-26T14:31:00.001-07:00

makes me realize how much i loved you since day one. Rockstar <3

baby ite tak sporting. dah la busuk.

2012-03-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

nak suruh hapdek blog pun susah. :( nak nangis sambil berlari 120km/h .

2012-03-26T13:53:00.002-07:00

mata bf ite macam ni

bf saya suka merepek

2012-03-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

dia marah saya pasal formspring manusia bangang mana entah, ishhh.

2012-03-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

hekhek , saja nak menggedik :)

Ehhh , anak awak dah besar laaa. Bila nak kahwin?

2012-03-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

Yes Malaysians , we get this a lot on gatherings from the makciks and neneks. I'm not whining and I'm not tired of it either. I'm actually proud of getting attention. #semua orang tau kau attention seeker. -.-' I rather be visible and noticed. But I'm kinda bugged by one phrase. "Ehhh dah besar lahh anak Lannn." Like seriously? My height remains the same (maybe grew an inch or so) but I'm literally this size since middle school. Every time when we had dinner with Siti (which is my grandma) she will say " Ina tambah la nasi , sikitnya makan patutlah badan kurus". My inner voice respond, Siti , you're looking at me without wearing your spectacles.

About the title , I do get that a lot on weddings. Typical Malaysians kan. They wanted to start a conversation and avoid awkwardness. My reaction? Teehee , oh stop it you. I always want to be sarcastic and say, Ha'ah saya memang dah besar and dah layak nak kahwin and naaaaaak sangat kahwin, asal? nak sponsor? Come at me bro. Kiddeng, takkan lah nak sarcastic kan? I'm a shy-down to earth-and the most polite person in the entire universe. -.-' Self sarcasm.

It's different this year and previous. They'll be asking about my studies. FACEPALM! It's not as great as the imagined it will be. Ohh anak Lan belajar Engineering kat Politeknik. Bakal Engineer ni. Jangan lah tanya pointer. Muhehehe. Tremendous disastrous. (pls ignore.tq)

As much as I'm bored hearing all this , I'm actually flattered that they took their time to ask about my life , have a chat with me and probably store what we talked about in their memory. #gediklah kau ni Ryena. semua orag pun go through benda yang sama. Tak kecoh pun?

Well, sorry. Takda benda nak cerita dahh. It's 4.20 am and this is the best that I can give. TQ KBYE.

^.^"

Ehhh , anak awak dah besar laaa. Bila nak kahwin?

2012-03-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

Haters will be hatin'

2012-03-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

and I'll just say : Come at me bro :)

Hey readers , you must either be my stalker or hater. Isokayy , still love you. :) Thanks for the view.

B, ite rindu awak.

2012-03-24T04:29:00.000-07:00

B, hati ite sekarang ni sedih tak tentu pasal. Ite dah luahkan kat awak, tapi tak guna pun. Apa yang ite cakap buat awak stress dan tension je kan. Biarlah ite luahkan kat sini je. Walaupun ite dapat bersama dengan awak macam mana yang ite nak, ite rindu nak macam dulu. Macam tak bersyukur pulak dengan life sekarang kan? Bukan macam tu, ite kalau boleh nak go through balik benda benda yang sweet supaya awak lupakan benda yang buat awak sedih. Takda benda yang ite nak lebih dalam dunia ni selain tengok awak gembira di samping ite dan awak perlukan ite macam ite perlukan awak. :')

Ite rindu nak detim dengan awak.
Ite rindu nak ponteng sekolah, lepak dengan awak.
Ite rindu nak spend the whole day dengan awak.
Ite rindu cara kite berfacebook dulu.
Ite rindu nak gayut dengan awak sampai pagi.
Ite rindu nak skype dengan awak.
Ite rindu nak rindu awak.
Ite rindu nak tunggu awak datang rumah.
Ite rindu nak lintas jalan pegang tangan.
Ite rindu nak jadi rempit dengan awak.
Banyak lagi ite rindu B. <3

I believe that being the sweetest couple gives a big impact to the world and to the couple themselves.

I'm the type of person who..

2012-03-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

loves to fight for something that people forbid me from doing. I give you an example. Once, my dad said to me that I can't wear contact lens because it has disadvantages. After I got into Polytechnic , I start wearing lens. :) And now , he's the one who bought me my lens and solution. Hehe , daddy's naughty girl. But there's one thing that I can't convince him to let me do. Pursuing my study elsewhere. I got accepted to MSU recently in Public Relation and Event Management. Not the perfect choice but hey , still better than Electrical Engineering. I lose to him this time but I think it's for my better future. I'll sacrifice this time to see him happy and proud of me in the future. I haven't finish my study but I already got a job thanks to Abah. The pressure is beyond the expected but it keeps me determined to achieve his dream of me being an engineer. I can't imagine being an Engineer. Maybe I'll grad and have a diploma in engineering or maybe further to degree but that doesn't mean that I'm going to work as an engineer right? We'll see which road I'll end up to. :)

Hold on to yourself , Ryena

2012-03-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I posted something that is related to myself. I'm currently addicted to Muse's song entitled Invincible. The lyrics are very meaningful to me. Suits my fucked up condition right now. To me , my life is a wreck. Even my relationship with him. We got back together and settled down but deep down, I'm still hoping for something and I'm holding on to it. I'd never screw this chance ever again. This is the last strive. If we broke up again, my love life is over. I'm tired of fixing myself and maybe I'll give up on dating. I hoped too much and at the end I disappoint myself.

Invincible - Muse
Follow throughMake your dreams come trueDon't give up the fightYou will be alright
'Cause there's no oneLike you in the universe
Don't be afraidWhat your mind consumesYou should make a standStand up for what you believe
And tonight we can truly sayTogether we're invincible
During the struggle, they will pull us downBut please, please, let's use this chance to turn things aroundAnd tonight we can truly sayTogether we're invincible
Do it on your ownIt makes no difference to meWhat you leave behindWhat you choose to be
And whatever they sayYour soul's unbreakable
During the struggle, they will pull us downBut please, please, let's use this chance to turn things aroundAnd tonight we can truly sayTogether we're invincible, together we're invincible
During the struggle, they will pull us downBut please, please, let's use this chance to turn things aroundAnd tonight we can truly sayTogether we're invincible, together we're invincible

Dear men , :)

2012-02-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she
thinks shes stronger than you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Treat her like she's all that matters to you
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid
- Give her the world.
- Let her wear your clothes
-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-Let her know she's important.
- Don't talk about other girls around her
- Kiss her in the pouring rain
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose ass am i kicking baby?"

I'm thrilled

2012-02-13T21:47:00.000-08:00

to welcome cute little furry and cuddly monsters to my family when I got the news. When I came back on the weekends last few weeks , found out that Chilow's pregnant! I am way beyond happy and psyched. Recently, I woke up and abah told me she Chilow gave birth. He said that he saw Chilow earlier that morning bloody and she lost her baby bump. I went lurking for the babies and thought that she gave birth at the box that abah prepared for her next to her cage. But guess what , there's nothing in the box. She gave birth only God knows where. Abah said there might be a chance that dogs or even monkeys ate it. :(

Chilow , Y U No give birth at home? :( I really need new pets because my house is too plain and typical without kitteh and animals.

I find single girls..

2012-02-13T14:07:00.000-08:00

smart and sexy. They enjoy life and secure themselves from getting hurt by those bastards and animals. Sorry for being to harsh. Not all guys and men are like that but mostly are. :) Don't blame me , I've been having a hard time handling you assholes through out the years. So lovely ladies , protect your heart from being broken. Save your tears for death of your loved ones rather that rolling it out for the useless unwanted jerks. It's not worth it. If you find something wrong with your partner , just split and continue life. Being single is fun. Well, that's what the said. I've forgot what it's like being single. I haven't been single in a long time. I can't be left alone. The consequences are the world is gonna explode and disaster will happen. Okay , I'm exaggerating but you get the point right? I hate being alone. It drives me insane. I need people to inhale and share the oxygen around me. Well, sharing is caring right? It's funny how love can affect and change our lives. Theories have been done and it seems that none of them explain the real meaning of love. Who in the world ever knows about love? Today you'll be head over heels in love and the next day tears roll down your cheeks just because he left you. It's unacceptable. Love towards the mighty creator has no limit , it last till the end. Well that's acceptable. For me , what's written by God is the best for us. The ups and downs that we had down on living land is to teach us how to live. Never end your life just because something came up not according to what you've planned. Nobody wants to be sad or heart broken. But you have to feel pain in order to achieve happiness and success. No pain , no gain. But beware of extreme sadness that you might be facing. Having an abusive or alcoholic or a junkie boyfriend is not cool okay? Don't fall for a guy just because he's hot or he has abs or he's rich. Search what's in his heart and what he has to offer. Sex? Say no right away. Money? You'll earn a lot of money when you're working. Endless love? Bullshit. Love will end at some point. Be with the person who treats you right. Knows how to make you happy and never let a single tear linger on your cheeks. Be with the person who lets you in their life and wanted you to stay till he's done with life. Once a guy mistreats you, hit you, slapped you or cheated on you , just leave him right away.

But , everyone deserves a second chance. And then the third , and fourth fifth and it goes on and on. Then you feel sorry for yourself for letting him in for the first place. Never hesitate when expressing your true feelings about him. Be true to yourself and to everyone around you. I've been yapping like an elderly so maybe I should stop. Or shouldn't I? I guess I should. Wait for it , I'll be yapping even more in my next post. Kbye.

Another day , another lesson learned

2012-02-13T00:57:00.000-08:00

Hmm , yes this post suits me. Every single day , I had to go through shits and that shits turned into a lesson. I never believed in karma before this but now , karma is like my best friend and yes I'm terrified to death. I regret wasting my time. I regret wasting my school years. I regret wasting my passion towards education and I regret I gave up everything to a guy who used to be my boyfriend. All this years that passed by , was always empty and not meaningful. I envy everyone who has great lives. I wish I had theirs. I had enough of trying to impress, pleasing others with doing something that I'm not into and giving hope to myself that tomorrow's gonna be a better day. I regret every wrongdoings that I've made to other people especially my parents. And myself. I miss everyone that I've left behind. I miss my old life before I met him. I regret holding on to his words. He abused me and yet I gave him chance every single time. Why am I like this? Why do I keep giving him chances?

Inner voice.

2012-02-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

Hey hello what's up. Tak sangka gila blog view bertambah dari hari ke hari kan. Ada jugak yang sudi meluangkan masa di blog yang tak seberapa ni. Thankyouuuu guys! <3

Hmm , semua orang mesti ada inner voice kan but do you listen to it? Sometimes when I'm alone , I talk to myself using my inner voice and suddenly , it doesn't make sense. For example ,

ishhh laparlahh nak makan :(

takyah la makan dohh nanti gemukkk. kata nak kurus?

ha'aah en takyah makan. tapi nak kena ada sebab untuk tidak makan.

haaa , kau bayangkan cerita jackass 3D yang taik bersepah tuuu.

Ishhh mual lahhh.

Problem solved kan? :)

Right , macam lari dari topic en? That's why I hate talking to myself. Terokk gilaaa. Haha. Kadang-kadang inner voice digunakan untuk mengutuk. Nanti la sambung. Mengantukkk :) zzzzzzz

Screw my previous resolution .

2012-02-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm screwed. I shouldn't be taking engineering in the first place. I don't wanna waste my time doing something that I don't like. Imagine me , working as an Engineer? I know it sounds cool and so professional but how am I going to be an Engineer if I'm not passionate about Electrical and Electronic stuff? I mean it's not in my blood man. I wanna be like daddy. Bossing around his staff and yelling at them. Hehe. One time , he scolded one of his staff. The next day after the incident , his staff got admitted into the hospital because of heart attack or low b.p or something. Pity him. Don't mess with ma daddy bitch !

So , enough with the daddy story. Let's focus on ... ME! Well , yeah I don't wanna waste my time. The ultimate reason why I did Engineering because I wanna make my parents proud and impress everyone. That's all. My passion and what I do now is 'bagai langit dengan bumi'. I'm still figuring out what I'm gonna do and where is my future heading to. Wish me luck on finding my path. :)

Imissmyseamonkey <3

it ended up the way it shouldn't be.

2012-01-22T05:51:00.001-08:00

we broke up
we fucked up

HIGH EXPECTATION MADE ME HEARTBROKEN.

New year , new resolution ! (#1)

2012-01-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Hey guys , it's Monday , 1.01 am I have class at 9 but who cares. Let me type while I still can :) So , it's the 16th day of 2012. The topic for today is resolution or in Malay is "azam". Previous years , I have made many resolutions and I've made nothing out of it. The first few months I hold on to it but later , the resolutions were forgotten and words are only words. But somehow this year , I want to make it happen ! I am eager to fulfill my resolutions. A year older , new experience new environment. So what's gonna happen?

1. Grad with flying colors :)

Yes , I want to have a diploma in Engineering. Why? Why do I choose Engineering? The reason is simple. Back then when I was waiting for the UPU result , I was so anxious and nervous! Baby was so confident that I'm going to get Diploma in Secretarial Science which was my first choice. When I received the text from abah , saying that I've got a letter from Polytech saying that I'm accepted , I was so happy , thrilled and excited. But the sad part was , the Polytech is in Kota Bharu which is 10 hours from Rawang. Are you kidding me? 10 freaking hours? So , my baby called the Jabatan Pengajian kot. He pretend to be my brother and talk to the pegawai and asked for an exchange of location. To PD of course! :) Okay now for the ultimate reason. I've screwed up a lot back then and I'm trying to make my parents happy by having a diploma. I don't want to waste this chance that God given to me. Why Engineering? Entahlah , dah diorang suruh. Tak boleh buat pun kena paksa jugakkk

Hello stalker , I want to play a game.

2012-01-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

Sounds familiar? :)

Hehe , hello my favorite stalkers! How's your day? Mine was fine. Went for a picnic just now at Port Dickson with ze family before returning to hell in a cell. Hehe bukan wrestling okay but Polytech. Spotted some fish and Mr. Krabs. Wanna know something? I HATE WALKING ON THE SAND! Why? I'm afraid of the crabs and the tiny creature that looks like siput sedut with claws and legs. Ewww. Every time I go to the beach , I'll run till the water is deep enough so I don't have to step on the sand. I remembered back then. Baby took me to the beach. We sat on the sand , by the beach. Looking at the moonlight. He held my hand and promised me that he will never leave me. So sweet. Everything was picture perfect UNTIL ....

He caught a crab and start chasing me. I screamed as loud as I could and the way I run , I think I'll get 1st prize if I enter a competition at that moment. Everyone at the beach thought I was crazy. Screaming and yelling like a mental patient. He laughed at me and he apologize. In the end, he carried me all the way to the 'safe spot' hehe. Where there is no crabs and that siput sedut creature.

After sunbathing , ze family send me to ze cruel Polytech. So here I am now. Updating blog while watching SAWWWW! You like saw like I like it ? Hehe. Wth I'm saying.

Well here's ze story. I transferred some of cool movies from baby's friend into mine and I haven't seen it all. One day , I decided to watch saw with ze brother.

Me : Adik , jom tengok saw?
Adik : Ishh taknak ah seram kot. Nanti adik tak boleh tidur malam.

At first , I don't have a clue about the genre of Saw. I thought it's a story of someone that has special powers. Maybe he/she has a sixth sense , able to see ghost but I was wrong. The day that I discovered Saw is when I was chilling with ze boyfriend.

Me : B , saw ni cerita apa eh? Adik cakap seram!
B : Entahlah sayang , B tak pernah tengok.

30 minutes later .......

B : Sayang , jom keluar makan?
Me : Jap lah B , belum habis ni.
B : Okay-okay tengoklah dulu.

Me : OMG B! Saw IV ganas gilaaaaaaaa! Rasa nak kopak oooo!
B : Ishhhh , dye keluarkan otak dengan perut dengan jantung semua??

Hihi , tak lama lepas tu , I searched ze facebook for ze fanpage and I found it. And I said : " B , sayang dah jumpa fanpage Saw kat facebook! " B replied , " Oh ramainya yang like fanpage ni. Siapa yang like ni memang bodoh. " Then I pretend to cry. " B cakap sayang bodohhhh! Sayang dah like fanpage ni tadi ! " Then B pujuk. Tak lahhh , siapa yang tak like ni bodoh. Haha. He is referring to himself kot. He hates Saw.

Ouhhh , dah sampai part lelaki gedang campak perempuan yang sakit tu dalam pool of syringe ! Catch you later !

2012-01-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

My eyes reacted, my heart was effected, thousands were rejected, but you were selected. I love you since 10th October 2009 till death do us apart. <3

Perigi cari timba ke timba cari perigi ?

2012-01-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

nak full BM boleh? thankyouu. :)

- BM pun SPM dapat B -.-'

Ishhh , terkejut gila kot baca status someone. Dye teramat sangatlah desperate untuk mencari boyfriend. I taknak mention lah kat sini apa yang dye post tapi sumpah lah I cakap , dye membahayakan diri dan juga keluarga dye. Memang senang kena mark. Tak dapat terima kenyataan yang dye buat macam tu. Kalaulah anak I buat macam tu , memang I membebel 18 jam non-stop. Why why why ? Se- immature I dulu pun I tk terniat pun nak buat macam dye buat.

Dahlah , takpe. Itu pilihan dye. I tak boleh nak kata apa lah kan. Just wish the best for her and hope that she get something out of her action. :)

Hello world !

2012-01-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

I changed my blog title. Did you notice? :) Well I decided to change it because I think I've lost my ego and I'm finding the pieces of life. Some of you might say life sucks! But hey, everything happened for a reason kan? Like the elderly always say : Dugaan itu adalah tanda Allah sayangkan kita. It's true. If the negativity doesn't exist, what kind of life would it be? Don't get me wrong. My point is every pros has it's cons. So , every positive things that happen must consist of negativity in it so take it easy and never give up with life okay? :) Don't kill yourself just because you broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Relax ! Like Katy Perry said in her lyrics , You said there's tons of fish in the water so the water I will test. You haven't explore the world yet , there's still many guys or girls you will get to know when you get older. Don't hold on too tight to your lover , in the future you will regret when you meet a better person. But if you are sure that he is the best for you , just go with it.

People said ,
Ikut hati nanti mati , ikut rasa nanti binasa.
Well, it's true you know. Jangan buat sesuatu mengikut nafsu , tapi mengikut keperluan. In some cases , you should follow your heart but in others, you shouldn't. Like Ustaz Azhar Idrus said , kalau nak ada gf , pasang niat nak jadikan dia isteri yang sah baru hukum couple tak haram. Tapi kalau tak terniat langsung nak jadikan isteri , nak jadikan gf semata-mata , hukumnya adalah haram ye. Tapi tak semestinya bila dah pasang niat tu boleh buat maksiat , jadi macam laki bini. Ala kadar je la. Percintaan selepas kahwin lebih indah daripada sebelum kahwin.

*Amboiiii , membebel pulak kau ye.
- Bila lagi aku nak membebel macam ni? heeee

Okay la, enough la for today and sorry for mixing bm and english. Take care and smile !

Wow , 1798 views

2012-01-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

sukanyaaaaa kitaaaa ada orang sudi baca blog kitaaaaa. hihihihi ingatkan takdo yg sudi haa. sorry i'm on the kekampungan mode. I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss Hari Raya badly. :( I'm bored of eating nasi goreng kampung and nasi goreng usa like almost everyday kot. gila tension. rindu nak makan pulut! dgn serunding! damn! jap asal random sangat ni , dow? Ishhh.