Miley Cyrus topless? Meh, I had to put down my happy hour drink for this one, which my Spidey Senses tell me is almost certainly a fake. Nevertheless, enough of you keep sending me this photo, and it is Miley and she's never been topless before in the two years we've been legally allowed to show you such, but...

If you look at the photo it does seem to be taken from an outtake set from her photoshoot for Maxim magazine after they named her the hottest woman in the known universe. If you look at the backside photo of Miley, a real one, you can see that she was definitely photographed without her top on during the shoot. And the clothes and jewelry are the same. But, are those Miley's real bare hooters? As I said, I remain unconvinced. But I am only right 72.4% of the time, maybe less even after a few cocktails. So, as always, I'll let Egotastic! CSI Division, meaning all of you, make the final call. Enjoy.

WE ALL REMEMBER WHEN AN UNDERAGED MILEY DID HER TOPLESS SHOOT

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Well, it's here. The holiday weekend. We've tapped the keg at the Egotastic! offices, with the basin bucket around it naturally so as not to lose even a precious single drop of the Old Milwaukee goodness. And there's no better way I can think of to inspire your greatness this warm almost-summer weekend than with a rear-end view of the hottie model Petra Benova from down Miami way.

A perfectly shaped female dumper can truly be the muse of a gentleman ogler's existence. It certainly reminds me that I need to start brining the pork butt for the company BBQ on Monday. I know, that's wrong, but it's also true.

This weekend, go find your own perfect buns of inspiration. Then, go forth and conquer. Or just leer. That is its own form of low intensity conquering. Enjoy.

Do not go gentle into your holiday weekend, EgoReaders. There is no better day than Friday, and a Friday before a holiday weekend, well, forget about it. It's going to be off the hook as the kids who beat me up and steal my video game money like to say. Warm weather, barbecues, and bodacious bodies if you're lucky. Or, if you're Kelly Hall whose fabulous funbags we're using to send you off on your three-day bender.

Featured in a sunny spot in Page 3 magazine, Kelly Hall shows that brunettes have it every bit as good, and every bit as naughty, as their blonde glamour model counterparts. And speaking of parts, Kelly simply has some of the pertiest pairs on the planet. Certainly more than enough to inspire you to smoke some meat, as it were, this big BBQ weekend.

Have a truly debauched weekend, you've earned it, from all your friends at Egotastic!

Kelly Brook has kind of been laying low as of late, as least as far as our prurient wandering eyes can tell. So we were not going to miss out on sharing when we spotted Kelly looking all kinds of hot at some fashion show awards in London we couldn't possibly care much about. It's Kelly we want, all over, all day, and in all ways that would get us arrested in many Fundamentalists nations.

Kelly Brook, the next time we meet, let it be in far more private and less-dressed circumstances. This I pray. Enjoy.

OUR LAST GREAT KELLY BROOK SIGHTING WAS UP HER SKIRT

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It's a Holiday weekend Friday which means many of you are already halfway to your destinations by now if you're leaving town, or halfway to tipsy town if you're staying in. I'm halfway to both, but there's no way we're not celebrating this week's communal offering of copious skin before this day is out. A little sextastic something we like to call Reader Finds.

This week's Reader Finds includes Rosie Jones and Lacey Banghard sharing a romantic topless hug (that OMG moment courtesy of EgoReader 'Jay S.'), Christina Hendricks hella hot in a Matthias McGrath photoshoot (thank you 'Reuben'), Sonja Bennett topless in the aptly titled Young People Fucking (a big contribution by 'Danes'), gloriously hot Natasha Henstridge nekkid onscreen (delivered by 'Duane R.'), Italian model Bianca Balti flashing her tubulars (kudos to 'Matt' on this one, err, two), Charlize Theron nekkid and burning hot from the big screen (a whoa baby from 'Will B.'), hottie Cristina Serrano in Interviu magazine (plus plus plus to 'Devon'), Siena Miller topless in Two Jacks (grandly given by 'Sophie'), Rebecca Hall of Iron Man fame topless at the movies (many thanks to 'Ito'), thespianic Susan Ward flashing her goodies (hearty congratulations to 'O.M' on this find), Melissa Johnston topless in Barely Legal (gracias to 'Cory'), Melissa Riso who we just met topless modeling pics (donated graciously by 'Dennis'), Heathyr Hoffman from the SyFy Channel topless (we bow down to 'John R.'), some wickedly hot Petra Nemcova topless modeling pics (by way of 'Adam F.'), Sofia Vergara see-through (lent ever so kindly by 'Amod'), Skylar Grey all wet and see-through (benevolence of 'swistaszek'), and, last, but certainly not least, the hot bodied Lake Bell nekkid in her newer film, Black Rock. It's a handful, a mouthful, and a solid snort worth of celebrity skin. Enjoy.

Paz Vega is killing us in a low cut dress (WWTDD)

Heidi Klum does likewise showing us some leg at Cannes (Celebuzz)

Jessica Alba is the world's hottest author (Popoholic)

Melissa Riso has us fired up for a Memorial Day beach weekend (The Superficial)

Nina Agdal is a smoking hot prom date (Gossip Cop)

Gina Carano makes for some sexy GIFs (COED Magazine)

Beam me...well, you know.  The hottest Star Trek women (Ranker)

I really am digging Doutzen Kroes more and more these days.

An underrated Victoria's Secret angel no longer, the MILFtastic sweet bodied model is now branching out big time, the finest parties, the biggest red carpets, and the swank retailer catalogs. Like her current visual gig for H&M, showing just how stupid hot a woman can look in a black hat at the beach. It works for me. Kind of Clint Eastwood, if Clint were one of the world's most good looking women who I dream about thrice nightly. And, he is not.

Doutzen Kroes, climbing the sextastic ladder many rungs at a time. Enjoy.

DOUTZEN LIKES TO VACATION WITH HER COLORFUL THONGS

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Granted, I have no idea if Samantha Gradoville grew up on a farm in her Nebraska upbringings. I'm just so happy to bring you a girl from the heartland who's making it big in the international magazine and modeling circuits, and, who, by the way, has a fantastic pair of chest puppies on display in Harper's Bazaar Spain this month.

Now, you don't care so much about high fashion or art or makeup. I mean, if you're like me. But seeing Samantha flash her full upper frontals, well that's worth a trip to the Spanish women's magazine section of your local drugstore. Homegirl does good. Enjoy.

It's opening day for Fast & Furious 6 and all signs point to box office gold. And according to early reviews, worthy gold as the film delivers exactly what is promises - fast cars, hot girls, and lots of stunts involving the two. It's not aiming too high, but, hey, we're not such high minded people here. Crash, boom, boobs. I'll take that.

We had a chance to send one of our intrepid reporters off to London to interview Michelle Rodriguez before the Britty premiere of the film and asked her a bunch of random stuff, but our favorite response came from the answer to what Michelle might tell Michelle of the very first Fast & Furious if she could go back in time. Kind of cool. And very very Michelle Rodriguez. Enjoy.

MICHELLE OFTEN GOES A LITTLE ROUGH CUT WHEN IN BIKINIS

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Not sure how we've missed ginger hottie Alexina Graham in the past, but at 22-years of age, this redheaded Britty super-delicious model is already a veteran in her industry. That industry being selling shizz to the ladyfolks while the gentlemen stand in the back and ogle her fine form.

In her lastest work for La Redoute lingerie, Alexina continues the fine tradition of convincing men that marriage is all about seeing your beautiful bride on her wedding night in some naughty lingerie and some very grateful feelings she desperately needs to express. And, then, yeah, ignore what's behind the curtain for the next several decades. Oh, pshaw, let's sweep away my negative feelings on the subject matter and indulge in the matrimonial fantasy along with Alexina. After all, a tall boobtastic ridiculously hot ginger is allowed to help you lose your senses. Enjoy.

LILY ALDRIDGE DID HER PART TO MAKE MARRIAGE LOOK AMAZING

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I know we're in the thick of the blockbuster movie season, but, as always, our ballbuster movie aficionados at Mr. Skin have compiled a short list of what to see on the screen this weekend if you happen to be one of those guys who likes seeing sextastic celebrities baring their bodies. That would be 99.9% of you. The remainder of the audience here is my mom and the cousins.

This week's Mr. Skin Minute features Heather Graham not topless in Hangover III, but definitely flashing all in Boogie Nights, Rooney Mara getting topless and jiggy with it in Side Effects now out on Blu-Ray, and similarly out now the fifth season of True Blood featuring various and assorted sweet looking supernatural ladies taking off their clothes. It's all good and all within the privacy of your own home viewing experience. Enjoy.

This week’s Xbox One reveal can’t have escaped the attention of the gaming-inclined amongst us. Sadly, though, the media furor that ensued didn’t answer the most important question of all: Say, what does that dumbass weatherman from Channel 58 think about the new console?

After all, could you sleep without hearing the expert opinion/random BS-ings of a dickish meteorologist on the Xbox One’s prospects? Of course you couldn’t, but fear not. This installment of the Whacked Out Week has you covered.

Suckle at our teat of crazy above for such other wonderment as tiny winged asses and Call of Duty: Ghosts (definitely not) offering bizarre dog-breed DLC.

Kotaku brings us weathermen gaming critics and assault asses.

Take a look at Berunov's other arty shenanigans here.

You know I love me a good celebrity gala. I mean, theoretically speaking. I never really get invited so much, so I'm a bit more like Cinderella watching the highfalutin proceedings from afar, wishing my fairy godmother would arrive with a carriage. I mean, I'm that, but more manly, obviously. Still, how I do wish I could attend one of these high end amfAR shindigs around the globe that bring out all the model hotties in their finest and often most revealing gowns. And bling too, if you're into that, though my preference lies in what dangles beneath the dangling diamonds.

The amfAR gala in Cannes last night brought out some serious good looking women in the form of Paz Vega, Alessandra Ambrosio, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Stacy Keibler, and more. It's an event at which I really think I could've cleaned up. As in, cleaning up the actual event with a broom was probably my only chance to attend. Still, there's nothing like a dream to keep the redheaded stepchild smiling well into the night. Enjoy.

LAST YEAR'S AMFAR GALA IN CANNES WHERE I ALSO WASN'T INVITED

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Any followers of our weekly Battle of the Boobtastic know hottie Nicole Neal quite well, and hopefully pull the lever for her, so to speak. Now, check out the chesty sextastic blonde homaging the most super of superheroes, Superman himself in what surely must be a more inspiring bit of posing than you're likely to see from that British dude playing Super in the upcoming film.

We do so lust our cosplay here and thanks to the benevolence of good guys at Front magazine, we have a chance to see how amazing comics could be if only hot mostly nekkid girls were added to the mix. A frequent fantasy since about the age of seven. Enjoy.

WE FIRST MET NICOLE JUST ABOUT ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

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Now, this is an unexpected surprise, though not like we haven't wished to see more of Anne Hathaway of late. An actress not shy about showing off for film roles, but rather reticent to create anything spectacle like in public. Especially since becoming married and a relatively self-important member of the acting craft. Well, minus her big flash last December, natch.

But, hark and behold, a camel toe of quite sweet proportions through the leggings of the seriously singing thespianic. A little wedge of love to remind us that not only is Anne human, she's a girl. A girl we'd love to help wiggle out of those stretch pants and into something more comfortable, like nothing. Someday. Enjoy.

I'll say this for Playboy Playmate turned professional working girl turned trophy girlfriend Victoria Silvstedt. She's not hard to spot. With her two ginormous beacons of hope on full display in the South oF France, Victoria single-handedly answered all her critics who say she's nothing more than a hot blonde with a mighty set of funbags by showing off her hot blonde locks and mighyt set of funbags.

Hey, in life, it's not important what you do, just that you're good at what you do. Victoria Silvstedt is still very good at what she does. Enjoy.

VICTORIA SILVSTEDT DOES UPSKIRTS QUITE UNIQUELY

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Oh, man, you know how much me and fifty million other guys so dig Mellisa Clarke. Every new pictorial that arrives from the alt-brunette glamour hottie is like a tingle up an entirely new nerve chain from the eyeballs down to the other places where the nervous system branches.

Featured in a spectacular red and black lingerie striptease show, Mellisa knows how to do very little, to say so very much with her spectacular body and her alluring girl-next-door-you-wish-really-existed looks. One total package of visual wonderment I can never wait to unwrap. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out a ton more Mellisa Clarke on her official site.)

Vin Diesel is perhaps as well-known for his eloquence as he is for his ant-man arm guns. During Fast and Furious 6's whirlwind press tour, Diesel gave Moviefone the most insightful, carefully constructed, and in-depth review of his new film. Here it is, in all of its erudition:

It's the best movie in the world and it's a love story and it's baller status.

Boom. The best movie in the world. Ever. Forget Empire Strikes Back, forget Citizen Kane, forget John Ford's entire catalog, or anything else. He does seem closer to the mark on it's baller status -- everything points to FF6 being an outstanding pre-summer blockbuster. It has an effin' tank chase and a car blasting out the front of a cargo plane -- that's baller. Albeit, I have no idea actually what baller means. I'm from the suburbs

Fast and Furious 6 opens tomorrow. It's a love story, guys...a love story.

VIN AND MICHELLE BECAME QUITE HOT AND HEAVY DURING FF1 FILMING

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Once in a while we have to give a shoutout to the up and coming celebrities, well the ones who look as hot as Melissa Riso in her bikini during a photoshoot in Malibu yesterday.

Melissa is trying to crack her Hollywood nut as it were, having landed a few magazine covers, commercials, and making her way into some short films. Hard to predict where her star will finally land, but if she were on my casting couch, she'd do quite well. And, no, I don't mean sexual favors in exchange for jobs. Although I also don't not mean that. Hey, how do you think I got this job? Enjoy.

I REMEMBER WHEN NENA RISTIC INTRODUCED HERSELF HERE IN A BIKINI

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Scary Spice knows how to pose her bottomside in the general direction of camera lenses. As she did once more again on her yacht off the coast of Cannes. Melanie Brown might not have all the tools in her arsenal of a decade ago, but, make no mistake, she's still playing with some very heavily loaded guns.

Someday when I anchor my floating luxury vessel, the S.S. Sextastic, off the coast of France, it will be littered with the barely covered bodies and booties of some of the finest women in the world. And, then, you know, I'll probably wake up and find myself in my bathtub with my latest Superman comic bleeding ink into the water. I hate when that happens. Enjoy.

MELANIE BROWN'S ASSTASTIC IS NEVER FAR BEHIND HER 

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