eHomebody

Having Equal Opportunity Doesn't Mean You Have To Take It

2018-09-05T13:05:00.001-04:00

Illustration taken from the frontispiece
of The Young Lady's Guide.

Here is another astonishing quote from one of those "old books" I've been reading: "At least, till the female sex are more carefully instructed, this question will always remain as undecided as to the degree of difference between the masculine and feminine understanding, as the question between the understandings of blacks and whites; for, until men and women, and until Africans and Europeans, are put more nearly on a par in the cultivation of their minds, the shades of distinction, whatever they be, between their native abilities, can never be fairly ascertained." [1]

The fight for the right for equal education for women and minorities since the 128 years when this was published has indeed proven both men and women, blacks and whites, to be on equal par in their abilities to both acquire and use knowledge according to how God has gifted them individually.

Illustration taken from the title page
of The Young Lady's Guide

I believe, however, the question is no longer whether or not women have the ability to obtain knowledge as well as men but in how and when those acquired abilities may be utilized outside the home without compromising the responsibilities of wife, mother, and often daughter of aging parents. There is indeed a time and season for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Sometimes these responsibilities may be shared with others, but many times it will be women who will refrain from work outside the home in order to fill these roles. Yet, if a young mother must work out of necessity, she should have the utmost support and help of all others in the family with shared responsibilities. Women can no better "have it all" and "do it all" than men could if they were left with the same care of home, children, and aging parents.

Truly, it is no longer a matter of ability in most cases but in discernment.

I would encourage you to read Mrs. More's entire treatise on the education of women. You can find a free online copy by following the link below [2] to find an online copy of The Young Lady's Guide. This will take you to the first page before the index. Scroll down the index and click on the link titled "Female Knowledge -- View of the Sexes," and it will take you to Hannah More's excerpt.

[1] American Tract Society, The Young Lady's Guide, taken from Mrs. Hannah More's "Female Knowledge -- View of the Sexes" (American Tract Society: New York, 1870), p. 296.

[2] https://books.google.com/books?id=bxJOAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA2&lpg=PA2&dq=The+Young+Lady%27s+Guide+American+Tract+Society&source=bl&ots=04DQWqsznW&sig=rEuyvf3hpSUTlevSdU7yu3QVu5w&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj7h4TamqTdAhWG7VMKHf7DDwQQ6AEwBXoECAUQAQ#v=onepage&q=The%20Young%20Lady's%20Guide%20American%20Tract%20Society&f=false

Encouraging Parents In Their Authority

2018-08-28T16:39:00.000-04:00

Though I cannot agree with everything in The Christian Family by Larry Christenson, he does share some sound, biblical wisdom here regarding the authority of parents over their children:

"The authority of parents is not their own authority, but one given them by God. When parents realize this, they will not be hesitant to admit their mistakes -- indeed, they will feel the necessity of it, for only thus can God continue fully to honor and back up their authority. On the other hand, the realization that God has invested them with authority will encourage a parent not to weaken that authority out of the false sense of unworthiness.

"All authority is from God, but it is given for the good of those under it. Since Christ came not to be served, but to serve, the character of authority has changed -- for all who enter into His mind. Now authority becomes a service, and subjection is submission to being served.

"No one may clothe himself with authority. But, whoever has received authority from God must hold it firmly. He must have faith in it and must maintain it, out of faithfulness to God, not for selfish reasons. It is granted him by God in order that he may use it, not in order to please himself.

"A parent may not withhold authority because of his own unworthiness. God has established that authority for the sake of the children, to attain certain ends. Nor can the parent set it aside through weakness and a morbid delicacy in sparing those set under him.

"Parents must maintain their ground upon the knowledge that they are in the right. They must demand obedience for what they know to be right.

"Willing obedience is based upon the inner foundation of reverence. It is not only a virtue; it is the only virtue of the child. It includes all good that can be required or expected of him."

(Though Pastor Christenson speaks the truth here, I regret I cannot recommend all of his works. As a Charismatic Lutheran, there are many extra-biblical philosophies he embraced with which I cannot agree. Take what's good and leave the rest.)

Stir-Fry Chicken Soup Recipe

2018-03-22T16:04:00.001-04:00

I came up with this recipe this week on a whim. I just had a-hankerin' for some homemade chicken soup. Considering all the different vegetables I had available, I decided to make it with an Asian flair and call it Stir-Fry Chicken Soup. You will notice several "SP" references. These are SmartPoint values for those following the Weight Watcher plan for weight loss.

First, I made homemade chicken broth out of the bones from a rotisserie chicken from which I had removed the meat, reserving the two breasts and saving the rest for another purpose. You could also use chicken broth from the store, but I wanted the heatlh benefits of bone broth. Instructions for making the broth are at the bottom if you'd like to make it yourself. It costs more in SmartPoints, but it was worth it for the health benefits.

In place of the stir-fry vegetables, I used what I had on hand: thinly shredded cabbage, onions, thin-sliced carrots, cauliflower, celery, peppers, and mushrooms.

INGREDIENTS:

1 Tbs. olive oil [4 SP]
1 Tbs. minced garlic [0 SP]
1 Tbs. ginger root paste [0 SP]
6 c. fresh or frozen stir-fry vegetables of choice [0 SP]
1 Tbs. sesame oil [4 SP]
6 c. chicken broth [homemade 16 SP; store bought 5 SP]
1 Tbs. Better Than Bouillon chicken soup base
2 small cooked chicken breasts, cubed [0 SP]
Salt and pepper to taste
Red pepper flakes to taste (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

Heat olive oil in soup pot over medium-high heat. Add garlic and ginger and stir a few minutes to flavor the oil. Add stir-fry vegetables of choice and stir-fry just until soft. Stir in sesame oil and stir-fry a few minutes longer. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil. Stir in Better Than Bouillon chicken soup base and cook and stir until it is completely dissolved. Stir in cubed cooked chicken and heat through. Taste and add salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes (optional) to your liking. Makes approximately six generous 2-cup servings [4 SP homemade stock]. Cooked rice may be added for a few more SmartPoints, or you could drizzle in some beaten eggs and boil gently until they are cooked for 0 SP.

HOMEMADE BONE BROTH
(with bones from a rotisserie chicken):

Debone a rotisserie chicken and cover bones with water in a soup pot.

Add 1 Tbs. apple cider vinegar (adds no flavor). Let sit for half an hour so the vinegar can draw calcium from the bones into the water.

Bring to a boil adding a peeled, chunky-cut carrot, parsnip (or turnip), onion, celery stalk, and 1 Tbs. dried dill weed (optional). Reduce heat and simmer 2-12 hours on low, keeping an eye on the water level and adding only enough water to cover the contents of the pot.

Drain through a sieve or clander wtih small holes, reserving broth. Discard vegetables and bones. Cool completely and skim the fat off the top (some people use this fat to make different types of bread or to saute vegetables). Store broth in freezer containers or canning jars (leaving a 1/2-inch headspace) in the freezer for six months or in the refrigerator and use within a week or so.

Spiritually Sanitizing and Sterilizing Our Children's Environment

2018-03-13T13:15:00.001-04:00

I saw this quote today on the Family Life Facebook page from a message by Crawford Loritts:
I’m terribly concerned about this movement among some of us that wants to hover over our kids—and pull them back and sanitize and sterilize their environments—in such a way that they don’t interact with the evil world, a dark world, in which they were born to redeem, and impact, and be salt and light in! - Crawford LorittsLet's consider this for a minute. 
First of all, this statement, taken from a longer message, could easily be taken out of context and be misconstrued to mean what he doesn't mean. Please take a minute to at least scan the transcript for more clarification.

Secondly, I think it should be understood that some people looking at our family from the outside over the years may have levied the accusation we were "sanitizing and sterilizing our children's environment" by educating them at home. But, we knew from the outset there is no sanitizing or sterilizing born sinners. We kept them home as much from the potential for them to nurture their own depravity than that they would be polluted from any influence from their peers from the outside. That is the mistake parents make regardless of where their children are educated. You can't protect them from the evil within.

And that brings me to my third point. I have to profoundly disagree that our children are born to redeem, impact, or be salt and light to anyone unless and until they have experienced the redemption, impact, and light of the Gospel of Christ themselves. Children born to Christian parents are not missionaries to their peers.

ALL CHILDREN ARE BORN SINNERS IN NEED OF A SAVIOR! 

And until they know the Savior, they are wise parents who keep a watchful eye on their children by monitoring their exposure to influences which could potentially hijack what they are striving to teach them about God, their sin, and their need of Christ. 

Furthermore, as a very wise parent once penned, "a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame." (Proverbs 29:15) Just as there are dangers in allowing your children to play in the toilet or the garbage, there are dangers in allowing them to watch garbage on the screen or read it in books and comics or let them hang out with children whose parents DO leave them to themselves. 

There is no such thing as a sterile and sanitized environment in the world in which we live. Any parent who thinks they can perfectly keep their children from being influenced by the world is simply delusional. The reality is the cancer with which they were born is what is killing them, and the contaminants from the outside are not conducive to their health. Consequently, once parents recognize the disease of their children's hearts, they have a greater responsibility to be vigilant about their environment. Though it will never be sterile, it may at least give them a fighting chance spiritually through the ministry of the Word and the work of the Spirit. 
We cannot save our children through a "sanitized and sterilized" environment, but we do have a responsibility to do what we can to protect them from killing themselves and forsaking their own mercy (Jonah 2:8) through their experiences in the world. 

Book Review - Lost and Found

2018-01-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

When I first heard of Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace, I knew I had to read it. The first paragraph of the description on the back instantly got my attention:

The 'right' homeschooling philosophy. The 'right' brand of theology. Kendra Fletcher had it all, until it all fell apart. In eighteen months, Kendra found her baby in a coma, ran over her five-year-old, and nearly lost her eight-year-old to a ruptured appendix. Discover how God used those events to transform her family's self-righteous religion into freedom in Christ.

Kendra and her family evidently held to many of the beliefs we did while on our homeschool journey. I could easily identify with her fears and misconceptions about how God looks at us and what we think He expects because of that.

I didn't have to go through all the perils the Fletcher family did, nearly losing three of their precious young children, but our family did go through some very distressing dilemmas as a result of our own lost way in religion. Like Kendra, we thought we had it all figured out. Thankfully, as Kendra and her husband finally found, our family also left the "religion" of works-based family philosophy and embraced the grace walk of truly knowing Christ and who we are in Him.

I rejoiced to hear how Kendra saw the unfolding of God's love through all the tragedies they faced one after another. Through the doubts and fears there resonates a deep trust in God borne out of true faith and sustaining grace. It is encouraging to be reminded that God is at work FOR OUR GOOD through even the most trying episodes of life. You don't have to go through what the Fletchers did in order to see the work of God, but you can follow their journey of faith by reading this gripping account.

Lost and Found: Losing Religion, Finding Grace is published by New Growth Press and is available on Amazon.com and other fine book vendors.

Interview With A Veteran Homeschool Mom

2017-09-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

I once did an interview online as a veteran homeschooler for the Suzy Homeschooler blog. A few things have changed in the four years since I made the responses to those questions, so I thought I'd bring my "veteran" information up to date.

Caitlyn first asked me to tell a bit about myself and our family. I responded that we completed 19 years of home educating our four children when our youngest son graduated in 2010.

Our oldest, Jonathan, is married to our lovely daughter-in-love Emily and has five of our nine grandchildren. He is currently a tile layer by profession and ministers in our local church.

Our second son, Sam, is currently studying to be a lawyer at the University of Alabama School of Law. He and his wife Hannah live near campus with two of our spunky little grandsons. Hannah is working as a nurse while Sam is finishing up his last few years of school. We are excited to see what the Lord has planned for them.

Our only daughter, Lydia, is married to our CPA son-in-love, Jake. They have two sweet, little daughters and live in Dallas. Weekly Skype sessions help us cope with being so far from one another, but we get together a few times a year along with Jake's family who live here, also.

Our youngest son, Andrew, lives in North Carolina and is studying to be an engineer. He is engaged to the lovely Julibeth Culp, and we are excited to attend their wedding at the end of this year and welcome yet another beloved daughter-in-love into the Wilwerding clan.

I must add, also, that I have been married 32 years to the love of my life, Les Wilwerding. He works as a granite counter top fabricator and does lay preaching as the Lord provides the opportunities. My 78-year-old father, Robert Sablotzke, also lives with us now. We are excited to see what the Lord has in store for us as we approach our retirement years. Whatever that means.

Caitlyn also asked about our homeschooling. I had to admit my teaching style was both relaxed and eclectic. We began with a regimented schedule and curriculum guide from one primary source, but had to switch to a more blended, eclectic mix of curricula and scheduling after I burned out during our third or fourth year. The first way of teaching worked well until our third child was added, then it all fell apart. I found out it is well nigh impossible to run a one-teacher school like an institutional school. I had to find that out the hard way.

When she asked me how I responded when family, friends, or strangers made negative comments about us educating our children at home, I had to admit we had few problems with that. My step-mother had a few qualms about it, but I think some of it stemmed from a false assumption that we thought our children were better than her children and grandchildren because they attended public schools and we had chosen to separate our children from public education. Also, she had what she considered legitimate concerns that our kids would be behind their peers, especially in the area of what was then the up and coming world of computers. I tried to assure her that her fears were unjustified, and after a time, she began to see that was true.

Another issue Caitlyn wondered about was whether or not I felt isolated or lonely as a home educating stay-at-home mom. I had to admit there were some years, especially early on, when I struggled with thinking I could be doing something more productive and satisfying than caring for and educating my own children. I had been trained as an office secretary, so the pull to be doing that instead was always there, especially when finances were tight. Thankfully, I got past that wrong notion and eventually discovered the joy, beauty, wonder, and real satisfaction of being a mother to those little persons who would eventually become the awesome adults they are today. I realized they would hot be babies and toddlers for very long and that there were some splendid people growing up in our home under my tutelage.

Caitlyn also wondered if I ever struggled to want to take off my "teacher hat" and reconnect with my husband and children away from homeschooling. I must say I never felt the need to take of my "teacher hat," because I never put it on. Home education was not separate sphere in our home. It was part of our daily lives, part of our family dynamic. That meant we could not run it like an institution. (See my post entitled Being at HOME With Home Schooling.) We incorporated our school time into our daily home schedule, along with doing chores, meal times, nap time, having family worship, and bedtime routines. It was just what we did every day, five days a week. However, we tried to maintain a class time between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. with time off for lunch. I suppose you could say that, once all the books and school supplies were cleared off the dining table for dinner, we then connected "outside" of homeschooling.

In light of the fact that so many homeschool moms feel defeated after a bad day, Caitlyn asked if looking back it was worth it to educate our children at home. I gave her a resounding YES!

In fact, it was more worth it than I could have ever dreamed! My husband and I had a vision for our children. We knew what kind of adults we wanted them to be. We took personal responsibility for the outcome of our parenting. We made a decision even before we married that the public and private schools were not the best places to get those desired end results. We took the challenge into our own hands by faith and did what we had to do to make it work.

We had bad days, bad weeks, bad months, and even bad years here and there. But, it was all done by faith. Only God can see the end from the beginning, but we knew He had led us on this path and He would see us through. We just had to keep making adjustments through those hard times along the way, seeking counsel and praying for wisdom, until we found what worked for our own family. Only after we got to the end did we see the perfect way in which God led us through in fulfillment of His promises. Only then could we enjoy the fruits of our labors. And I can tell you from personal experience, that fruit is Sa-WEET!

Caitlyn ended the interview by asking me to sum up in one sentence what I would say to new homeschooling moms.

RELAX! and trust God.

Perhaps you have your own questions about homeschooling or our experience. I'd be happy to discuss it with you. You can leave your questions in the comments below or on Facebook: www.facebook.com/eHomebody.

Serving God Through Faithful Child Rearing and Elder Care

2017-09-19T16:50:00.001-04:00

My father who lives with us
and his youngest great-grandson

I read this today in Courtney Reissig's book, Glory in the Ordinary: Why Your Work In the Home Matters to God:

"If work is a means of loving God by loving your neighbor, then every act of faithful work that you do is accomplishing just that. You are loving God and the world by caring for the people in your home."

I think that is important to remember when you are primarily at home caring for your own children, your elderly family members, or others who cannot care for themselves. Sometimes the culture sets this type of work on the sidelines as being not important or of little value because it usually doesn't have a monetary compensation.

The stay-at-home mom or caregiver sometimes thinks there might be something else "out there" which would be a better use of her life force and time, but that just isn't true. In fact, we are doing God's work, especially if it is done in faith. I do not mean to elevate it above the work and callings of others, but it is important to at least view it with the honor it deserves in our society.

Our busy stay-at-home daughter with her two daughters:
"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these,...
ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40

Unfortunately, some people elevate church or ministry work above the care of their children and aging parents. This was the mistake of the Pharisees whom Christ openly rebuked for neglecting their parents in the name of service to God.

He said,

"Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?

"For God commanded, saying, 'Honor thy father and mother:' and, 'He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.'

"But ye say, 'Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; and honor not his father or his mother, he shall be free.'

"Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition." (Matthew 15:3b-6)

What He was saying was that if someone dedicated to God the money or provisions they could have used to help their parents in need, then they would be free of the guilt of their neglect. But, what if we said they had dedicated their lives or their time to the service of God when they have parents who are in need of their care? Do you think they would be any less guilty? I believe this is something we need to seriously consider before heading off to Timbuktu to do "the Lord's work."

I was so blessed to hear Regan Martin, missionary to the Western Cape, South Africa, share with our church what his wife Mellie is planning to do once they get to the mission field. He made it a point to make it understood her primary ministry would be caring for and home educating their five children. I could have just jumped for joy!

Indeed, I believe one of the tragedies of foreign missions has been the felt need to ship the children of missionaries off to boarding school during their formative years so they won't be in the way of their parents' ministries. However, so much abuse, heartache, and emotional damage has been done to these children, it simply breaks my heart. The first responsibility of parents is to their children, and some well-meaning missionary parents have inadvertently neglected to love and care for the nearest neighbors given to them by God.

I am glad the Martins are able to see the true value of Mellie's work in their home, even on the mission field. No one needs her ministry more than her family does. Furthermore, what better example of the love of God could Mellie give her neighbors in South Africa than that which she ministers to her nearest neighbors, her husband and children?

Jesus said, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another." (John 13:35)

The Dirty Little Secret of the Proverbs 31 Woman

2017-07-20T12:55:00.003-04:00

A man gave his testimony at our church the other night, sharing all the blessings he had received from God throughout his life, including the fact that his wife was a true "Proverbs 31 woman."

My initial reaction was one of guilt, mingled with admiration....and maybe a little envy. From experience, however, I had to stop and consider that this man's definition of the Proverbs 31 woman might be different from mine. (We'll call her P31W for short.) So what exactly did he mean by a P31W?

I can only figure he meant she conforms to the ideals of the Western culture for women who primarily stay at home and single-handedly take care of every need of their husbands and children. She "looks well to the ways of her household." Her house is continually spotless, there are punctual, homemade meals on the table three times a day (including pies, cakes, and other goodies for dessert), and when the drawers and closets are opened, there are clean, neat clothing there ready to choose from. They never run out of salt or pepper, toothpaste or toilet paper. In fact, the roll is always on the holder, never on the counter. Her grout is white and so are her teeth. You will never see her in her jammies, not because she wears a cotton or fleece gown (depending on the season), but because she is up and dressed immediately after making the bed. Of course.

Though your definition may be different and include or exclude some of these things, this is what I think of when I think of a true P31W. Yet, while reading Courtney Reissig's book Glory in the Ordinary, I was shocked to find I've had it all wrong. The P31W had a dirty little secret.

Courtney points out,

"We have done a great disservice to families in the Christian community as we have elevated the Proverbs 31 woman to saint status. She is praised for her tireless work, yet we forget to mention that she had servants."

Did you get that? She had servants!

Courtney goes on,

"She was no more a supermom than we are. Her place in Scripture is not to tell us how to be the mom of the century. Accepting help from our friends, our husbands, our parents, and anyone else who wants to lend a helping hand is not accepting defeat. It's God's gift of rest to you. Take it. Embrace it. And let the rest go."[1]

AMEN!

Now, I'm not saying we should make sacrifices in the budget for a cleaning lady and a chef. But I am saying that if you are unable -- not unwilling, mind you, but unable -- to keep up with the basic provisions of a reasonably clean environment, clean clothes, and nourishing food for our family, then something has to give. You need to ask for the help and accept it when it is offered.

First of all, however, I am a firm believer everyone living in a home should be contributing to the needs of that home, according to his or her ability. Even small children can be taught to clean up after themselves. If your child is three years old and you are still picking up her toys, you are not only not availing yourself of the help you need, you are also robbing your child of an important character trait. It takes time and patience to teach a toddler to pick up their things and put them away, but the reward of their assistance will bear even greater fruit as they mature. Children not only learn personal responsibility from this exercise, they also derive a feeling of satisfaction and purpose through it. The sooner they can help the better.

Our granddaughter Elsie helping set the table, age 3

And just let me say here, if you have teenage or adult children living at home who aren't helping with the laundry, dishes, and and other housework, then you missed the parenting boat a looooooong time ago. I've known more than one family whose adult children are home all day while their parents are out working. I don't know what they do all day, but I guarantee you, in that situation, mom and dad shouldn't have to do much of anything when they get home from work. If adult children aren't working outside the home, they had better get busy working IN it. It's never too late. Enlist their help now. And if they resist or refuse, I'll come over and help you move their stuff out to the curb. Seriously.

Even my 78-year-old father, whom I care for and who lives with us, does what he can around the house. He has been a tremendous blessing to me as he puts away the clean dishes, sweeps the kitchen floor, and puts away his own clothes. He can't always help me because of his health, but he certainly does what he can when he can. I resisted him at first. I felt like he was being critical of my failures to keep up with the housework (P31W guilt). But then I realized his own need for feeling significant and useful. His contributions, however small, help to fulfill his purpose in life. Now I swallow my P31W pride and accept his help with grace and gratefulness.

My husband also helps around the house. He pretty well has all of the garbage chores under his care, as well as all the yard work, gardening, and heavy lifting. Our washer and dryer are in the basement, so, though I do all the washing, drying, sorting, folding, and putting up, he takes the four baskets of laundry down to and up from the basement for me. He even does the dishes on Sunday afternoons to give me a break once a week from that responsibility. I appreciate it all so much.

I know some women live in isolation from their extended family, have husbands who refuse to help around the house, and have many little ones who cannot contribute to the household chores. Yet, perhaps there are others who could lend a hand at times. Are there friends at church to whom you could reach out, or maybe you could exchange help with other young mothers in your same situation? In Glory In the Ordinary, author Courtney Reissig offers advice on how to go about finding help in those situations as well.

However, for some women it may mean actually investing in hired help. If you can't afford a cleaning service or a chef, can you afford a teenager? I was blessed to help a woman from our church when I was a teenager. She had cancer and could not keep up with the housework. I went over once a week for two hours and did whatever she needed help with at the time. I mostly vacuumed, but I also washed her kitchen cabinets. She paid me a modest fee, and we were both happy. Our daughter also functioned as a mothers' helper to families with many children when she was a teenager. They couldn't pay her much, of course, but what she gained in on-the-job training was worth a fortune. I am so grateful for the contributions those mothers made to our daughter's development and character, and I am blessed to see the fruit of it as she guides her own home and rears her children.

Though it can be a challenge to rethink what it means to "look well to the ways of [your] household," it is important to understand clearly how the P31W narrative actually plays out in the time and culture in which we live. It will most certainly play out differently for me than it will for you as each woman and household are different. Yet, rather than beating ourselves up while comparing ourselves to others -- even the P31W --, let us pray for wisdom in how to direct our homes and to know how and when to get the "servants" we need in order to succeed.

[1] Courtney Reissig, Glory In the Ordinary: Why Your Work In the Home Matters To God (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2017), pp. 105, 106.

Reformation Women - Book Review

2017-07-12T15:41:00.002-04:00

I have always enjoyed reading about the contributions of women in our Christian heritage, so I was excited to find Rebecca VanDoodewaard's Reformation Women: Sixteenth-Century Figures Who Shaped Christianity's Rebirth, which she wrote specifically to include those lesser known figures whose contributions were pivotal during the Reformation.

The twelve biographical sketches in this volume are rich with detail and intrigue. In it you will find women from many different walks of life, from those who lived in poverty, neglect, and banishment for the cause of Christ to queens who used their influence to further the cause of Christ and to protect believers from persecution.

Originally published as separate articles in the Reformed Church Magazine (1893-1895), they were then compiled into one volume, called Famous Women of the Reformed Church, by James Isaac Good. Rebecca has now further revised, expanded, and corrected his work in Reformation Women.

When Christian women today seem to be faltering about where they belong in the work of Christ's kingdom and church leaders are equally baffled with what to do about women who want to serve, the publication of this book couldn't have come at a better time. Younger and older women alike will benefit from reading it as they are challenged by the examples of others who lived through often perilous times. It encourages us to not be content with the status quo, but to seek ways to further the cause of Christ in our own sphere of influence, whatever that may be.

Furthermore, I appreciate how the author never elevates nor demeans women who worked alongside their husbands and children on the home front. Though often in obscurity, yet their works, as a light set on a hill, could not be hidden, and we are blessed and encouraged to follow in their footsteps with honor and dignity even if we never leave the sphere of our homes. Yet, those who are active in the workforce or in positions of leadership will also gain many insights into how to portray the love of Christ where they serve with those qualities unique to believing women. I would especially encourage high school aged women to read this book as they are seeking to discern God's plan for their lives, and it would make an excellent graduation gift.

Discovering the One Thing Needful

2017-05-31T12:17:00.001-04:00

There are just some books and authors who stand out as making a huge difference in my walk with God. In addition to the Bible, reading Spurgeon's sermons has been one of them. But, I have recently been blessed by a little book called Disciplined By Grace: Studies in Christian Conduct by J.F. Strombeck which has completely opened my understanding concerning the work of grace in the believer.

You see, I always understood grace to be "the unmerited favor of God" -- and it is! --, but I never saw it also as the way by which God works His mighty power in us. It is the operation of God in salvation both in justification and sanctification. Perhaps all of you already knew that, but this is news to me!

The whole book so far has been very good, very enlightening, but after reading Chapter 13, "Devotion and Works," I am overwhelmed to my very core that I have been missing something vital in my walk with God. The Lord has been revealing it to me little by little over the course of about five years now, but this morning it all opened up for me. How could I have missed it for so long?

Loving devotion to Christ is the one thing most needful.

Strombeck explains:

"Devotion to Christ is most important. As important as are good works in the believer's life, there is that which in God's sight is even more important. While Christ desires and recognizes service, He far more desires and values love and devotion to Himself. In this day when service has become the keynote of Christianity, meditation on Christ, devotion to Him, and a desire for Him, purely because of what He is, have almost become a lost practice. These are, however, necessary and prerequisite to acceptable service for Him."*

He goes on to give examples of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), the dialogue between Christ and Peter in John 21:15-17, and Christ's letter to the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:1-5.

A loving devotion for God in Christ is the one thing needful. Everything else flows from that. And that loving devotion is given by the outpouring of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5 and following). It all begins with the revelation that God really is love (1 John 4:8). I believe that knowing this is the key to understanding the seeming contradiction of justice and mercy.

God's laws are not a means of constraining us from something good and fulfilling. They are a means of restraining us from destroying ourselves and others. A loving God gave a loving Law in order to show us what living really is. Christ summed up the greatest commandment of the Law to be "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." (Matthew 22:37)

While memorizing Deuteronomy 6:4-7, my brain kept wanting to skip over verse 5 and go straight to verse 6.

"4. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

5. And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6. And these words which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:"

However, omitting the verse about first loving God before embracing His commandments should be no surprise when you consider that this route around loving God first has marked nearly all of my Christian walk. I have not made the love relationship with God my main focus. I have made His law, keeping His commandments, and being a champion of "the truth," my whole force and ambition. I even thought doing these things was how I proved my love for God. Unfortunately, that was what I was taught growing up in the church.

But, "there is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12), and I'm afraid this way has led me astray from the joy and beauty of life in Christ Jesus. The way I was going seemed right! I wanted to do what was right. I wanted sin to not have dominion over me. I wanted to please God. But, I was going about it in entirely the wrong way, by the works of the Law through the flesh. Disciplined By Grace has helped to bring the truth into focus for me.

God is love.

God's Law is given in love.

No other law or commandments from any other god can be trusted to be in our best interest; but every law of God is an extension of His pure love only with our highest good in mind.

The cry of the loving heart of God for even those who reject Him is "O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!" (Deuteronomy 5:29)

The reason God desires us to keep His laws is because only His laws are truly just and will bring life and peace to those who keep them. It all flows from His love. Once we see this, we can begin to love Him in return. "We love him, because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19)

To only keep God's commandments because He's "the Boss" and will punish us if we don't is a twisted way of looking at the relationship God desires with mankind. It is a pagan god who will only draw near when their devotees cut themselves and cry out all the day long. 1 Kings 18 gives us this example. You can read the whole story in 1 Kings 18, but please note that it was the pagan god who didn't answer. Yet, God answered the prophet Elijah immediately when he offered the sacrifice.

I've heard a lot of preaching about how God will not save a man until he humbles himself in some sort of painful exercise and cries out to God continually until He gives an answer. But, this looks too much like how the god Baal operates. There are people who give examples of how they cried out to God to save them but never received an answer or were given an answer only after a time of extended contrition. But, I believe this is a grievous error.

Salvation is never given apart from faith in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ in the sacrifice of Himself on the cross. That faith comes not from our cries and prayers and humblings but by hearing and believing the truth of that good news! (Romans 10:13-15) The faith to believe that Gospel good news of Christ is given by God by His grace (the effectual operation of God on the soul).

Now, it's true that once you've had your eyes opened by the preaching of the word to see the ugliness of your sin against God and against others, there will be a natural agony of soul. If you see it rightly, there will be. But none of that avails anything apart from then believing on the finished work of Christ to forgive those sins and give new life. The Holy Spirit is only given to those who believe in Christ. And new life, hope, and peace with God are then given through the indwelling Spirit of God. Thus, Christ has made the way for man to be reconciled to God, both for now and eternity. Believe it, and be saved!

These are the things I am learning. I would appreciate any feedback or discussion anyone might have. Even if you disagree, that is good, too. I want to be sure what I am discovering isn't in error. I may be figuring things out, but that doesn't mean I have it all figured out.

I encourage you to get a copy of this little book and consider the things in it. It's not very long. The chapters are short and easy to read. But, it is deep in nature and pulls up living waters from the very depths of the well of the Word. So refreshing!

*J.F. Strombeck, Disciplined By Grace: Studies in Christian Conduct (Chicago: Moody Press, 1946), pp. 75-76.

When Children Go Astray, It May Not Be the Parents' Fault

2017-05-22T10:10:00.000-04:00

It is a good and godly thing for Christian parents to strive to have a godly home and to raise their children under the restraints of God's Word. Though some parents go overboard at times in their fear that their children will be given over to the world, there should definitely be a difference between worldly homes and those of believers.

Yet, Christian parents may do all they can according to the best of their knowledge, ability, and the grace of God in giving them wisdom in child rearing and still have children who chuck it all out the window when they reach adulthood, sometimes even before then.

Those looking in from the outside will almost always shift the blame to the parents. They were too strict, they were naive, they didn't socialize them enough, and on and on. Whispers, gossip, and slander often abound even among their peer families in the church.

But, one of my favorite preachers of all time, Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892), says in his message "The Monster Dragged to Light,"

"Another strange thing I have often noticed — as a proof of sin's power to gather poison from the most healthful flowers — is that some transgress all the more because they have been placed under the happy restraints of godliness. Though trained to piety and virtue, they rush into the arms of vice as though it were their mother! As gnats fly at a candle as soon as ever they catch sight of it, so do these infatuated ones dash into evil! Young people who are placed in the Providence of God where no temptations ever assail them — in the midst of holy and quiet homes where the very name of evil scarcely comes — will often fret and worry themselves to get out into what they call 'life' and thrust their souls into the perils of bad company.

"The sons and daughters of Adam long to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Their very preservation from temptation grows irksome to them. They loathe the fold and long for the wolf! They think themselves deprived because they have not been born in the midst of licentiousness and tutored in crime. Strange infatuation! And yet many a parent's heart has been broken by this freak of depravity — this reckless lust for evil! The younger son had the best of fathers and yet he could never be quiet until he had gained his independence and had brought himself to beggary in a far country by spending his living with harlots." [emphasis mine]*

No parent is without sin — those who think they are let them cast the first stone! — but there are many Christian parents who have done all they can in good conscience to raise their children in the fear of the Lord only to have them jump ship as soon as they get sight of the shore. For those parents, I hope you will take comfort in Spurgeon's assessment of this reality and stop taking on the false guilt of the Accuser and his minions, both in the world and the church.

If you have a prodigal, never stop praying and looking for their return. If there have been errors or sins in your parenting, confess them to your children and ask their forgiveness. Love them and witness to them as the Lord gives you opportunities, always keeping in mind that the prodigal is actually running away from God and is ultimately accountable to Him. Yet, we are His ambassadors, begging them to be reconciled to Him. While there is life, there is hope.

*This sermon may be read here: https://www.gracegems.org/Spurgeon/monster_dragged_to_light.htm.

Balanced Biblical Advice on Child Training From Melissa Kruger

2017-05-18T11:01:00.004-04:00

Through the years, I have read stacks and stacks of books on child training. As a parent, I wanted with all my heart to "get it right" with our kids. However, though much of what I read was helpful and biblical, I often interpreted it through the lenses of my own experience.

You see, I was reared in a home where child discipline hinged on spanking. Those spankings which were, unfortunately, most often administered in anger, just as my parents' parents had taught them. I thought it worked for me, so it must be the way to do it.

Yet, I didn't want to do it in anger like my parents did, so I justified my angry discipline as righteous indignation, meting out justice in the name of the Lord. I was so confused and wrong. I am thankful that along the way somewhere the Lord changed my heart about that, and I was able to become more balanced in my child rearing.

Then I read this article on the Gospel Coalition website which finally brought it all into focus. In her post 5 Principles for Disciplining Your Children, I believe Melissa Kruger has indeed given some of the most helpful, balanced, and biblical advice on child rearing I have ever read. And I have read A LOT!

I have already commented on the article on the GO website and commented on, liked it, and shared it on Fabebook, but I thought I should also give my blog reader a heads up and get the word out about this fantastic post. I hope you will also pass it on to others who might benefit from its sound teaching.

5 Principles for

Disciplining Your Children

Faith and Courage From the Sidelines

2017-04-03T13:33:00.000-04:00

I saw something in church yesterday which I have rarely seen before. The text was Hebrews 4:14-16, which in itself is a charge worthy of any spiritual battle the believer may face, but it was the pastor's response to the preaching of it which blessed my heart.

You've seen how teammates on the sidelines will lean forward ready to jump to their feet for joy as they witness their comrades gaining ground on the opposing team. That was the pastor's posture yesterday as he listened intently to another lay minister delivering the message. He simply could not hide the inner excitement of hearing once again the truth of the exaltation of Christ who opened the way for needy sinners to come boldly before the throne of grace and find mercy. To say the least, by the close of the service, he was pumped for the communion celebration!

That's how it should be among ministers of the Word, and it is one thing I truly appreciate about Ventura Baptist Church. The humility of the men who lead there and the love they have for Christ and one another is such a breath of fresh air! There is no vying for the pulpit; the pulpit belongs to Christ. There is no vying for the love and loyalty of the congregation; the congregation belongs to Christ. The men who teach and preach there are on the same team in the battle against sin and Satan. And that is as it should be.

Truly, the battles we face every day against the devil, the world, and our own flesh (indeed our strongest foe!) are much better fought and won when we've been challenged to remember who our Conquering Savior is and who we are in Him. I rarely leave a service at Ventura without feeling ready "to charge Hell with a water pistol," as the old timers used to say. Indeed, I, too, felt the anticipation of the win as I came home with a renewed vision and courage to fight the sins which so easily beset me.

The pastor's excitement during the sermon reminded me also of a scene from Kenneth Branagh's Henry V (1989). If you choose to view the clip I've included with this post, take note of how the posture of the men changes as they are encouraged by King Henry and how they look on one another with a light in their eyes with renewed courage by the power of his inspiring words. Though they knew not the outcome with the odds against them, yet they were ready to fight!

And, yet, we have a more sure outcome in our spiritual battles whereby we may gain courage. We have a Leader, a commander of the people (Isaiah 55:4), our mighty King Jesus, who encourages us by His Spirit through men of God called to that ministry. Truly, this is what the cowering, struggling church needs today.

However, the Spirit of God cannot move where there is pride in vying for position in leadership or bickering and infighting among the warriors. We need a new vision of who the enemy is, who our Leader is, and who we are in relation to one another if we are ever to see the conquests which our Commander has promised are possible. We must pray for it, pray for our pastors and leaders, pray for one another, put down our own pride, and then expect God's blessing on the battle.

"God be with you all!" Amen.

Are You Engaged In Your Calling As a Homemaker?

2017-03-31T14:20:00.001-04:00

I know there are some guys today who actively participate in their family's housekeeping, especially when the wife has to work. But, I'm speaking today primarily to women like me who are either full-time or part-time keepers at home and who take most of the responsibility for managing their homes.

We have recently been studying the Gospel in relation to our work in our adult Sunday school class at church. There is a mixture of both men and women participants, including a few stay-at-home moms and grandmothers. It might seem like we SAH-ers would be completely out of place in a class seemingly geared toward those with careers outside the home, but I have been totally thrilled to find our work being recognized and validated in this class as a true occupation emanating from our calling from God.

One of the handouts we were given was an article written by Susan Adams for Forbes.com where she cites the outcome of a 2013 Gallup poll regarding how "engaged" people were in relation to their jobs.[1] If they felt "engaged," that meant they loved their job and were happy in it, while being "disengaged" meant the opposite was true.

The author gives twelve statements used by Gallup to tally how engaged their pollsters were with their jobs. I would like to take those twelve statements, reconfigure them a bit for relevance sake, and consider them in relation to our own engagement with our calling as managers of our homes.

I know what is expected of me as a homekeeper in my own home. [I say in your own home because so many homekeepers try to meet the expectations of homekeeping gurus who write books and blogs and very possibly hire someone else to do their housework. I want to know if you know what is expected of you in your particular home.]
I have the material and equipment I need to do my housekeeping right. [I'm thinking cleaning tools, detergents, pots and pans, appliances, storage solutions, etc., anything you might need to do a good job in housekeeping.]
In managing my home, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day. [To be honest, this one is debatable for me. I am still trying to figure out what gifts and talents I possess in relation to managing my home and what opportunities I have to use them in it.]
In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good housework. [I'm not saying I require it, but I do wonder how much more I would feel "engaged" in my housework if this happened on a regular basis. How much better would our children do at their chores if we were more giving with out praises at a job well done?]
Those who live in our home care for me as a person. [This may seem like a given, but for some women it just isn't so. Sad, but true.]
There is someone who encourages my development in being a keeper of my home. [This might be someone in your home, but more than likely you will have to seek this outside of the home, such as people at church, a ladies' group, homemaking blogs, or perhaps a Facebook group or page.]
In our family, my opinions seem to count in regard to managing our home. [Hopefully, there is no overbearing husband or demanding children who override the homemaker's decisions about her own housekeeping. But, I know this is the case with some women.]
The mission or purpose of our family makes me feel my responsibilities are important. [An aimless family is bound to be a place of dissatisfaction and disaster in the everyday workings of the home. If your family doesn't have a mission or purpose, now is the time to figure that out together. You could also include the division of labor between husband and wife and delegation of responsibilities to the children. Here is a good place to start.]
My husband and children are committed to doing quality work, according to their ability, in their share of the housekeeping. [When it's done right, everything runs more smoothly, and you don't have to worry about having it done over again or doing it yourself when they drop the ball.]
I have a best friend at work. [You might think that should be your husband, but in regard to keeping house, that might be your children, your mother, or anyone else who comes alongside you to make your work in the home more enjoyable.]
In the last six months, someone has talked to me about my progress. [Again, this could be your spouse, but it could also be someone else who is encouraging you in your homekeeping. We need feedback and an opportunity to share our accomplishments as we improve our home management skills.]
This last year, I have had opportunities to learn and grow in my knowledge of managing my home. [This is why it is important for us to read good books and blogs on homekeeping and try to get involved in person or online with groups of other homemakers who are learning and growing along with us.]

Susan ends her article with ways to fix the problem of unhappy workers, "Communicate with your workers, tell them when they do well, encourage them to move forward. Give them the tools they need and the opportunity to feel challenged."

I can see this being implemented with the training of our children in the realm of housekeeping. They, too, need to have their chores explained and taught to them, to have the right tools provided for them to do the job well, and a word of praise given when it is done well. Help them to learn and grow in their experiences working around the house with you, keeping in mind you are training them to be managers and workers in their own homes one day.

And, while we are at it, let me throw in here it's a good idea to keep in mind that, while being a homekeeper may be our main occupation and calling at any given time, it should not define who you are. Rather, it's what you do. What I mean is we should have outlets for our gifts and talents other than our homes. We can serve in our extended families, in our churches and communities, and even in a job outside the home. This isn't about glorifying housework. It's about finding a way to be satisfied in the calling of housekeeping and pleasure in a job well done.

If you are struggling with the responsibility of being a homekeeper, I'd like to encourage you to seek out others who are successful in managing their homes and learn from them. You can do this with friends, family members, or online groups through email and on Facebook. One of my new favorites is Household Management 101. Though I haven't had time to explore Clean Mama, it also looks like a great resource for improving home management. Others have found success with the Fly Lady. I particularly love books written by both cleaning guru Don Aslett and the 15-minute-organizer queen Emily Barnes. Please feel free to share your homekeeping resources either in the comments here or on the eHomebody Facebook page.

[1] Susan Adams, "Unhappy Employees Outnumber Happy Ones By Two to One Worldwide," Forbes, October 10, 2013, https://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/10/10/unhappy-employees-outnumber-happy-ones-by-two-to-one-worldwide/#3517eec2362a.

International Women's Day and Its Socialist Foundations

2017-03-08T11:13:00.001-05:00

Notice any similarities? On the left is a symbol for International Women's Day;
on the right the symbol of the Communist Party USA.

A Brief History of International Women's Day

March is Women's History Month in the United States and has its roots in what has been dubbed as "the first recorded organized action by working women anywhere in the world." On March 8, 1857, hundreds of women workers from the garment and textile factories marched in New York City to protest their low pay, long hours, inhumane working conditions, and not having the right to vote.[1]

Fifty-two years after that notable event, and to commemorate the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire, the Socialist Party of America declared the first official observance of National Women's Day on February 28, 1909.

The following year, Clara Zetkin, a notorious Marxist feminist from Germany, suggested at the first international women's conference held in Copenhagen that there be an established International Women's Day (IWD), but no official date was determined at that time.

However, after the October Revolution in Russia, Lenin was persuaded by Bolshevik feminist Alexandra Kollontai to make it an official holiday in that country. Ironically, women in Russia didn't even get the day off for this day held in their honor until 1965! (We really appreciate the work you do, now get back to it!)

The United Nations gave its sanction to and began sponsoring International Women's Day in 1975, which had also been designated as International Women's Year.[2]

President Jimmy Carter proclaimed a Presidential Message supporting the celebration of Women's History Week in 1980, and a bi-partisan Congress passed a resolution declaring a National Women’s History Week the following year. Then, in 1987, Congress expanded the commemoration to the entire month of March with a resolution for celebration of Women’s History Month each year during the month of March.[3] The highlight of Women's History Month is March 8, International Women's Day, and each American president in succession since its inception has issued a proclamation in honor of this radical socialist, feminist high day.[4]

In fact, the United States is currently recognized on the official IWD site as one of the key governments around the globe which supports the celebration.[5] Unfortunately, this day has been honored enthusiastically in our own White House by both liberals and conservatives, including President George W. Bush, with First Lady Laura Bush being the featured speaker at the 2002 "Afghan Women Today: Realities and Opportunities" observance of IWD.[6]

US First Lady Laura Bush, Secretary-General Kofi Annan,
along with Her Majesty Queen Noor of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
(UN/DPI Photo by Eskinder Debebe. 80302ed6)

The Lies of Socialist Feminists Promoted Through International Women's Day

I wasn't surprised to find there is a day set aside as "a major day of global celebration for the economic, political, and social achievements of women."[7] However, I was troubled by a particular image associated with this celebration. It pictures a woman carrying a red flag as she pulls another woman out from under a pile of kitchen wares.

According to Wikipedia, this image is a "1932 Soviet poster dedicated to the 8th of March holiday. The text reads: 8th of March is the day of the rebellion of the working women against the kitchen slavery and Down with the oppression and narrow-mindedness of the household work!"[8]

Notice the woman pictured on the left is crawling out from under a pile of plates, pots, pans, tea kettles, and a huge samovar (hot water dispenser for making tea). Apparently, what began as a commemoration of women struggling against adverse working conditions in factories became a clarion call for women to leave the "oppression" of the fireside at home to work in factories. What I must ask is how anyone could be convinced this was a good idea for women.

But, isn't that the big lie of socialism, Marxism, and the feminist movement in general? The big lie is that women are oppressed, kept down, and left without a choice, unless, of course, these organizations can convince them to become "liberated."

Yet, if women are liberated from their kitchens, who will prepare the food and clean up the pots and kettles? In most cases, if not their husbands and children, it will be other women. It would be interesting to find out how many women who hold political office in this country and around the world have women as domestics. How about Oprah? Have you ever heard of Rachel Ray, who was her personal chef? Of course, these women are paid -- Ms. Ray especially well, I am sure -- but, many domestics today are illegal immigrant women who are paid very poorly for doing what these liberated women consider "oppressive" work.

Please consider that the women in the textile and garment factories of the early 20th century had left their kitchens in order to work there. Many were wooed by the empty promises of the feminist movement of that time which played on their discontent and hid from them the down side of working outside the home. Yet, even after 100 years, the sales pitch is the same. Only now it is dressed up as "achievement." The sad truth is that many women who seemingly "have it all" are still discontent with their wages, exhausted by long hours, sick and injured on the job, and still don't have a voice or a choice in the matter.

And, I bet they don't even get the day off.

[This post is a modified version of one posted on March 11, 2009 found here.]

[1] "International Women's Day," Womenaid International, accessed March 10, 2008, http://www.womenaid.org/iwdmain.html.
[2] "International Women's Day," Wikipedia, accessed March 10, 2008, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women's_Day.
[3] "March Women's History Month," Federal Heritage Month Celebrations, University Dining Services, University of Vermont, Sodexho, 2007, accessed March 11, 2008, http://uds.uvm.edu/diversity_calendar.html.
[4]Gerhard Peters, "Proclamation 6400 - Women's History Month, 1992 January 16th, 1992," The American Presidency Project, 2008, accessed March 11, 2008, http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=47328.[5] "About International Women's Day (8 March)," International Women's Day, accessed March 8, 2017, https://www.internationalwomensday.com/About.
[6] "International Women's Day at Headquarters 8 March to Feature Afghan Women," U.N. Press Release Note 5712.Rev2, 7 March 2002, accessed March 8, 2017, https://www.un.org/press/en/2002/note5712.rev2.doc.htm.
[7] "International Women's Day," Womenaid International.
[8] "International Women's Day," Wikipedia.

Redeeming My Life From Destruction

2017-02-18T12:47:00.002-05:00

For most of my life I have been trying to kill myself. As the saying goes, I've been digging my grave with a spoon.

There have been contributing factors, accessories to my murder, so to speak: a family culture involving both gluttony and laziness, church leaders who made light of those sins, and the diversity and accessibility of food in our country. But, I have to own up to it: if anyone is going to ruin my life, it's me. I take full responsibility.

I have tried and failed many, many diets, some which did more harm than good. I saw some success with Overeaters Anonymous during my college years and with Weight Watchers a few years ago. However, it didn't take much for me to turn back to the old habits and lusts which have kept me in bondage most of my life. Though I have worked through many thoughts and heart issues concerning this pattern of sin, the key to release always eluded me.

After failing miserably once again on yet another diet, I was alarmed by the weight gain I was seeing once again. It really scared me.

I cried out, "Lord! I don't want to die this way!" And I asked Him to guide me in His will concerning which diet I should seek to follow in order to lose the weight and be healthy. I needed Him to redeem my life from destruction.

Bless the LORD, O my soul:

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name.

Bless the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits:

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;

who healeth all thy diseases;

Who redeemeth thy life from destruction;

who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things;

so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

~ Psalm 103:1-5

We just so happen to be memorizing this passage in our church. That phrase, "Who redeemeth thy life from destruction," really stood out to me this morning. Then I had to back up to the previous verses to understand fully what that means. I forget all the benefits of my salvation, one of them being His redemption of my life from destruction. Being a child of God includes the ability to keep from killing myself!

However, part of that redemption process involves remembering some things. I have to remember, also, that he forgives my iniquities. Wallowing in the guilt and shame of yet another downfall into gluttonous eating never moves me forward, never redeems my life. It leads me to destruction every time.

So, yesterday, when I failed miserably, I felt myself sliding back into the old habits. I messed up so badly. I was a willing accomplice with my lusts in eating in a way which is destructively unhealthy. And I indulged myself all the way up until I went to bed.

As soon as I was woke up this morning, there He was. I'm so glad He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). But, instead of running away from Him in guilt and fear, I immediately confessed my sin and guilt and asked for the enabling power of the Holy Spirit to set my feet on a right path (Proverbs 4:26, 27). I was then able to get out of bed with freedom and hope and begin afresh. I am confident that today He will satisfy my mouth with good things and renew my health and vigor. I know this from what He has promised, and God can't lie.

I praise God for His guidance in leading me back to Weight Watchers. I need the structure, accountability, and encouragement of the plan and the weekly meetings. It is simply what works for me. However, no diet will work without the continual knowledge that God loves and forgives me because of Christ. I am also learning the importance of asking for the enabling grace of God through His Spirit.

Another important factor in my success is the loving prayers of God's people, and I covet your prayers for me when I come to mind. God bless you every one!

And You Wonder Why They Can't Read

2017-02-15T17:48:00.001-05:00

Someone asked on Facebook the other day at what age one should get a cell phone for their child. That got me thinking how different parenting is today than when we were rearing our children. Back then the big questions were how much time kids should be allowed to watch television or play computer games. Today, with a smart phone and the right cellular package, a child can not only watch videos and play games, they can also potentially access all manner of both helpful and unhelpful data, some of which could be deadly. Thus, it is wise to consider at what age a child should have his own phone.

However, I don't think the problem is at what age to let them have one, but rather whether or not they need one at all. We could sit here all day debating the good, the bad, and the ugly of 24/7, handheld Internet access, but that isn't really the issue. If given full reign, it would have been possible for children of past generations to also obsess around the clock on the screen distractions of their day. The real problem is the distraction of the Internet and its dumbing down effect on the brain.

Before home computers came along, television was the big distraction. Consequently, for the first few years of our children's lives, we decided not to have one at all. We got news from listening to the radio and from interaction with others outside our home. School and play times were rich in inspiration and imagination. Without screen distractions, books were a big draw, both for cuddle time and individual exploration. I believe that is one reason our children are such prolific readers today. Their foundation for learning wasn't hijacked by someone thinking for them through moving pictures and sound.

Reading is hard work. You have to decipher the words, understand them in context, and imagine what they are portraying. Even books which do not tell a story evoke connecting images and examples in our minds. It's how we develop comprehension. But, you have to concentrate in order to do that. Excess screen time seems to keep the mind constantly wandering off to what has been seen and heard rather than what is immediately being presented in print. Yet, reading content online is not much better.

By its very nature online reading is meant to be quick. Just the volume of the available words necessitates scanning and partial reading. Yet, reading that way too much could end up with us not being able to concentrate on the printed page. Books aren't written like blogs. In good writing, the first sentence is meant to present the concept of the paragraph. The sentences which follow it expand and explain the concept in more detail. Then the last sentence connects that paragraph with the next paragraph. You can tell when a book is well written: it has structure and flow. A well-written blog, on the other hand, presents bits and pieces for you to grab and take with you. You can't read a book like a blog. It won't make sense.

And that is one reason why I believe so many children are having trouble reading. If you want good readers, you must consider more restricted phone/screen use.

Thus, I would have to give counsel to the parent wondering about giving their child a phone to not do so unless it is for emergency use only. Yet, even if a phone really is necessary, one with no data plan would be a good start. Also, having a phone or phones only for temporary use might be a good idea, say, to call and let you know when practice is over.

Or how about walkie talkies? Remember those? We used to use them while shopping as a family and when we split up on walking trails. We even communicated between vehicles when we took separate cars on trips.

(I know; I know. No self-respecting kid is gonna use a walkie talkie these days.)

In any case, for the sake of the literacy of future generations and the health and well-being of well-rounded, successful adult children, I hope parents today will reconsider how often they are allowing their children to have screen time of any kind, but especially their own cell phones.

Unmasking False Compassion In the Political Narrative

2016-11-10T13:29:00.003-05:00

As I read through the reactions to the election results on social media yesterday, I came across some which stunned me. There were several young, Christian mothers, who I thought were conservatives, who were expressing anxiety and dismay that more liberal people were not elected to our government. They were especially concerned for how our elected officials might be harsh against minorities and the disadvantaged. And, while I could hear the cry of their compassionate hearts fueled no doubt by the love of Christ, it chilled me to the soul to realize they may have been duped.

I just want to be sure my young friends understand something very important. Some of the solutions for social problems promoted by seemingly more compassionate politicians could potentially derail their own rights as parents and destroy those they claim to want to help. It is time to take the mask of "compassion" off of these politicians and see them for what they really are.

One solution, for instance, to taking care of illegals is tighter control over education. Institutional public education is a great way of controlling the masses, especially undocumented ones. But, universal compulsory public education also rounds up the people who believe their children should be home schooled or educated in religious schools. However, if Mrs. Clinton had her way, many of the basic decisions of parenting, including education, would be taken out of the hands of parents and given over to an international government body.

You see, Mrs. Clinton pushes ratification of the Convention on the Rights of the Child every chance she gets.[1] It seems good on the surface for protecting children from abuse, but, if ratified by our government, it would become a treaty which binds parents by international law to hand over decisions to the government (and in some cases even to their children) which could be harmful to them, especially for parents with disabled children. You can read about some of those concerns in an article posted on the Home School Legal Defense Association website: http://hslda.org/docs/news/2014/201407180.asp.

Yet, another "solution" for social ills proposed by liberals is abortion. My young Christian friends seemed to set aside, albeit reluctantly, this atrocity as an unfortunate side effect of electing more "compassionate" (?!?) politicians. What if someone suggested that the most compassionate way of dealing with the tragedy of black poverty was to line them all up and shoot them? Or, how about slicing them up with a machete or dissolving them in a saline solution? Or maybe it would be more compassionate to pull them limb from limb with pincers or insert a pair of scissors at the base of their necks and suck their brains out? [2]

Yet, that is exactly what these "compassionate" politicians are saying when they want to make abortion more available to minorities. It is no coincidence abortion clinics are set up primarily in minority neighborhoods. It is another liberal political solution for controlling the masses. The fewer Hispanic and black children who are born, the less of a problem they will be. Alveda King, niece of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and long-time pro-life advocate, makes this point in an interview on The Jim Bakker Show when she asserts Planned Parenthood operates "abortion mills" in minority neighborhoods for the purpose of targeting black women.[3]

Let's take the mask off of this key political issue once and for all for what it really is. I once had a conversation with a young friend of mine who was reared in a conservative, Christian home where abortion was denounced. However, once he got into college, he heard a different narrative. He was beginning to believe that it would be more compassionate to abort black children in the womb than to let them be born into poverty and violence. However, by assuming that all black children born to poor mothers will end up being a burden to society, we become the most racist, bigoted people on planet Earth! Their "black lives" not only don't matter to liberal abortion advocates, they are a burden to society and should be exterminated.

When my young friend shared his thoughts with me, I immediately thought of Dr. Ben Carson. Dr. Carson would have fit that description perfectly being born to a single, black mother living in a poor neighborhood in Detroit, Michigan. But, by the grace of God through the power of the Gospel, Dr. Carson worked his way up from the poverty into which he was born into one of the premier neurosurgeons of our time and presidential candidate in the 2016 election. He is a living testimony against the false assumptions of liberal abortion advocates.[4]

This brings me to what the key problem may be in discerning false compassion. Where are these people getting their ideas? Much of what passes as Christian compassion in American politics today is actually nothing more than godless socialist theory. It is no secret that much of Hillary Clinton's political ideology was shaped by the influence of her childhood church youth leader and life mentor Rev. Donald G. Jones, a radical leftist theologian who embraced the teachings of Karl Marx and Paul Tillich and impressed them on the malleable minds of the teens in his youth group.[5]

It is this mixture of religion and socialism which I think confuses young Christians today. It sounds compassionate. It sounds like what Jesus would do. But when you carefully look into the roots of many of these liberal solutions, you will find they have a dark history which leads to death. When evaluating ideas in the public arena, we must be very careful to analyze who is speaking, who informed their narrative, what their motives are, and how their initiatives could actually do more harm than good, especially to our own families.

As a wise man once said, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."[6] That is why is it so important to never take anything a politician says at face value. It may sound good and seem like the most effective solution, but how will it affect our lives in the long run?

There may be other issues which liberal politicians advocate as quick fixes for social ills, but what we really need are more boots on the ground. In a blog post called "To All my Post-Traumatic, Post-Election Friends," Scott Sauls makes the point that true social change only comes through the Gospel-driven works of God's Spirit-filled people, not through politicians and government officials. It might take longer and be less effective at first, but it really is the most compassionate, life-giving solution to the social ills of our world. As Scott goes on to say, "...when Christians direct their energy, resources, and imagination toward serving the world as a love-driven minority, the Jesus movement becomes virtually impossible to stop."[7] This, my friends, is true compassion.

[1] "Convention on the Rights of the Child," U.N. Human Rights Office of the High Commissioner, accessed November 10, 2016, http://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx

[2] Rebecca Downs, "Abortion Methods and Abortion Procedures Used to Kill Unborn Babies," LifeNews.com, January 2, 2013, accessed November 10, 2016, http://www.lifenews.com/2013/01/02/abortion-methods-and-abortion-procedures-used-to-kill-unborn-babies/

[3] "Alveda King: Black Lives Matter Should Fight Abortion," Newsmax, accessed November 10, 2016, http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/Alveda-King-Black-Lives-Matter-Fight-Abortion/2016/08/26/id/745345/.

The full video program is found here: https://jimbakkershow.com/video/visit-evangelist-alveda-king-day-1/.

More about Alveda King: http://heavy.com/news/2016/08/alveda-king-donald-trump-niece-praise-endorse-video-watch-martin-luther-jr-a-d-brother-twitter-abortion-black-lives-matter-police-pro-life-ministries/.

[4] Biography of Dr. Ben Carson: http://www.biography.com/people/ben-carson-475422#early-education.

[5] Diana Lesperance, "Hillary Clinton's Youth Group Leader," The Narrow Way, October 28, 2016, accessed November 16, 2016, https://narrowwayapologetics.com/2016/10/28/hillary-clintons-youth-group-leader/.

[6] Proverbs 14:12

[7] Scott Sauls blog, "To All My Post-Traumatic, Post-Election Friends," accessed November 10, 2016, http://scottsauls.com/2016/11/08/to-my-post-traumatic-post-election-friends/.

The Dynamic Heart In Daily Life - Book Review

2016-10-22T17:34:00.001-04:00

Let me say from the outset this book was not what I expected when I asked for a copy for review. Yet, the Lord has a way of giving us what we need even when we don't know we need it. You see, I didn't realize The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience is actually written for use by counselors, pastors, and others who deal with people in ministry. However, though I am not officially in ministry, I still found it important for understanding how to truly be helpful when people come to me for advice and counsel. Most of those are people who read my blog or interact with me on social media, and, of course, our own grown children. Another reason it was valuable was in how it has helped me see more clearly how God works in my own heart to effect outward change.

While Dr. Jeremy Pierre is Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY, he has a wonderfully clear way of explaining what could be considered deep spiritual truths in concepts easy to grasp even for the layman. I appreciate how he shows where he is going before he begins a new section and brings the reader back to the main focus. He keeps your head above water, so to speak, while teaching you to swim.

One of the most important things he teaches is that helping others is not simply about looking at surface issues and prescribing a plan of action. He shows how to go deeper to the root issues of the heart, how the heart informs the mind, the emotions, and the actions. In Section 1, Dr. Pierre explores how the heart responds dynamically in human experience. Then in Section 2, he moves into how the heart responds to God, to self, to others, and to circumstances. The third section gives practical questions in how to guide counselees by hearing their hearts, helping them understand their responses, and pointing them to Christ for strength to make new responses based on faith.

The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life is one of those books you will want to read more than once and study for better understanding both of your own walk with Christ and how to guide others in your sphere of influence. I would suggest it for pastors, counselors, women's ministry leaders, older women who mentor younger women, and parents.

I believe it would be especially helpful for parents of children just entering the teen years as they seek to guide them from the heart and point them to Christ as the dynamic of all their life choices. Even if maturing children do not yet know Christ, Dr. Pierre has a very wise perspective on why dealing with them from this angle is so important:

Note for unbelievers: Jesus Christ remains the fulfillment of humanity, regardless of whether an individual believes this or not. So the active behavioral strategies you propose should still be in line with how Christ would act. Life will work better for unbelievers the more closely their actions conform to Christ's. You need to be clear with them that, without faith, the best they can do is spotty, self-motivated mimicry, not genuine imitation of heart. God, in his common grace, often lends this kind of success to those who do not believe, but it is at best temporary. Yet, counselors pray this common grace would be preparatory for salvation.[1]

I have never heard it explained that way before, but it certainly answers a lot of questions about why it is important to guide our children to obey God before they are converted while guarding against making Pharisees out of them. This is only one example of the wisdom Dr. Pierre shares all throughout The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience . I highly recommend it.

[1] Jeremy Pierre, The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life: Connecting Christ to Human Experience (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2016), 233.

The Difference Between Chastisement and Punishment

2016-09-30T12:11:00.000-04:00

freeimages.com

I was reading one of Mr. Spurgeon's sermons[1] the other morning and came across an explanation concerning the difference between punishment and chastisement, using our relationship with God as an example. However, I believe there is also a lesson concerning the proper and improper uses of chastisement (spanking) in parenting. He says,

"Well, but, saith one, 'how is it that God does punish his children?' I answer he does not. He chastises them as a father, but that is a different thing from the punishment of a judge. If the child of a judge were brought up to the bar, and that child were freely forgiven all that he had done amiss, if justice exonerated and acquitted, it might nevertheless happen that there was evil in the heart of that child which the father, out of love to the child, might have to whip out of him. But there is a great difference between a rod in the hand of the executioner, and a rod in a father's hand. Let God smite me, if I sin against him, yet it is not because of the guilt of sin, there is no punishment in it whatever, the penal clause is done away with. It is only that he may cure me of my fault, that he may fetch the folly out of my heart. Do you chasten your children vindictively because you are angry with them? No; but because you love them; if you are what parents should be, the chastisement is a proof of your affection, and your heart smarts more than their body pains, when you have to chasten them for what they have done amiss. God is not angry against his children, nor is there a sin in them which he will punish. He will whip it out of them, but punish them for it he will not. [Emphasis mine.]

There was a time when I justified punishing our children in anger for their sins. I had the mistaken idea that I had to be like a judge toward them, meting out justice on behalf of whomever they had offended. I thought displaying my angry displeasure was good for them to see how God was angry with them.

While there are times we must be stern with our children in order that they see the seriousness of their transgressions, I see now that lashing out at them in fleshly anger is a gross misrepresentation of how God deals with His own children. In the sermon quoted above, one may see how Spurgeon differentiates between the execution of justice by a judge and the disciplinary actions of a loving parent.

I believe he uses an appropriate word here to describe how I often felt in punishing our erring children: vindictively or, in other words, with revenge. How many times was my temper stirred toward a rebellious child, and did I spanked them in anger until my revenge was satisfied? I blush to recall my own sin in this matter.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man,
but the end thereof are the ways of death.

Proverbs 14:12 rings true in regard to the abuse of the rod in that, unless there is repentance on the part of the erring parent, the end result is often that the child has a wrong view of God. An angry, vindictive parent can give their children the idea that God is like they are: unforgiving, without pity, and unapproachable. They confuse the fear (respect) of God with being afraid of Him. As a preacher of old once said:

The thought you make of God is the thought which makes you...If you think God hard, you will live a life of terror and gloom. If you think God effeminate, your life will be characterised by moral laxity. Mark, then, how deeply vital is the occasion when we give ideas of God to little children. We are putting into their lives germs of tremendous power. I have met with old men who in their later years have not been able to shake themselves free from the bondage of a false idea received in the days of their youth.[2]

Thus, we do not want to be guilty of instilling a wrong view of God in our children by administering the rod of correction in a vengeful, abusive manner.

freeimages.com

Another misuse of the rod of correction is in using it for every transgression. I once heard of a father who carried a "spanking spoon" to church in his shirt pocket as if it were a fly swatter ready to smack down any annoying action in his children. Not only is this abuse of power, it has the potential of being ineffective. Eventually, the child gets used to being spanked and endures it without any learning from it. It carries no weight.

Consequently, chastisement should be reserved for only the worst transgressions and then only with a heart of love, not only with the intention of bringing about a reformation of their behavior, but also with the hope of their true repentance.

This is also why the event should be done in private, with a controlled temper, and in a spirit of love. If possible, it should be prefaced by a discussion of what they have done wrong against God and man, followed by an appeal for their repentance and reconciliation.

If you see you have sinned in misusing the rod of correction, I encourage you to seek your own repentance and reconciliation. Seek the Lord's forgiveness, then go to your children and ask for their's as well. Pray for God's grace to discipline the children He has placed in your care in a godly way, both for His glory and for their good.

Future generations will also be blessed if you repent of this error today. Even if your children are already grown and have children of their own, it is never too late to make a true confession. In fact, it is crucial that you do so. It is very likely your repentance and reconciliation may prevent the same mistakes from being made in their homes.

freeimages.com

Because of the potential for abuse, some people say spanking should never be used in the discipline of children. However, I cannot see how they get that from Scripture or from the preaching of godly men throughout church history. However, that is a study I will have to share in another post.

If you are looking for resources on godly parenting, I have found Tedd Tripp's books to be very helpful and balanced. The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo is also very good. Then there's Dr. David Powlison's new book Good and Angry which is most helpful if you struggle with anger issues in general. (I just did a book review for it here. Very helpful.)

May the Lord bless you as you seek to be the parent He has made you to be. Seek His grace through prayer. He delights in giving wisdom. All we have to do is ask.

[1] "The Treasure of Grace," The Spurgeon Archive, http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0295.php
[2] "The Difference Between Fearing God and Being Afraid of Him," J.H. Jowett, Bible Hub, http://biblehub.com/sermons/auth/jowett/the_difference_between_fearing_god_and_being_afraid_of_him.htm

Good and Angry -- Book Review

2016-09-16T12:31:00.000-04:00

When I choose books to review on the blog, I try to pick ones which will be of good use to my readers and/or myself. However, I didn't expect this particular book to have such a profound impact on me personally.

If there is one prevailing sin in the family in which I grew up, it would be anger. It is a part of my culture, and I have witnessed over and over again the destruction it causes. In fact, I recall clearly an irate sibling once telling me (ironically, in anger) that I had an anger problem and needed a psychiatrist. I pondered what she said for a long time without ever coming to a conclusion. Then I read Good and Angry and discovered she may have made a valid conclusion.

Dr. David Powlison pulls no punches in Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness. Though he allows there may be some BWA's (But What About____?), as he calls them, even those fall before his thorough and compassionate addressing of sinful anger. He uses clear, biblical definitions, real-life examples, and soul-searching Scriptures to bring readers to the point they can no longer run and hide from this deep-seated sin.

For me, it was as though he plunged the knife of the Word of God deep into the wound of my sin and exposed all the ugliness and disease hiding under the seemingly healthy surface. And, frankly, I didn't like it at all. This is hard for me to admit, but I think I got angry! Yet, Dr. Powlison helped me to see, though anger can be an instrument of good in the heart of the right person -- God's heart and the hearts of those He redeems --, most of what passes for righteous indignation is really only us trying to play God. Ouch! He also helped me to understand that anger is not always the beginning of this sin. It often begins with simply having our own will crossed, the common irritations of life which can lead to angry outbursts. Like I said, he leaves nowhere to run and hide.

I kept reading, however, not only because of a deadline to have this review posted, but also because Dr. Powlison held out hope all along the way that unrighteous anger can be redeemed in the hands of the Redeemer. Though I have not thoroughly worked through everything as outlined in Good and Angry, the work of God in my heart has begun. I fully intend to read it again more slowly and take the time to do the "Making It Your Own" exercises at the end of each chapter.

Since Good and Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining, and Bitterness is such a thorough study in personal holiness, I believe it would be perfect for Bible study groups who are willing to probe the deeper levels of the heart and move on to a more mature Christian walk. Also, since anger is often a root sin of other debilitating ills in society, this would, consequently, be an excellent, biblically sound reference and resource for Christian counselors and ministers.

We can only make a difference in our own part of the world by facing our own sins and finding redemption through the truth of God's word. In Good and Angry, Dr. Powlison holds out that hope for finally finding peace regarding sinful anger, the hope we have in Christ to make a difference both in our own lives and the lives of those around us.

A Balanced View of Child Discipline

2016-08-19T10:37:00.001-04:00

Spanking is not the end all of discipline, but it is a useful and fruitful part of it when done properly and used sparingly.

Anger should never be the motivation. Some parents don't even realize they are in fact abusing this discipline method. What they call "righteous indignation" is really only uncontrolled, self-gratifying anger, which only ends up crushing their child's spirit and driving him away. No matter how much the parent tries to assure the child he or she has their best interest at heart, their abusive spanking will always be interpreted as hatred and rejection.

Since parents are a child's first representatives of God, this abusive spanking eventually leads to a skewed view of God and can hinder the child's relationship with Him. We have an awesome responsibility as parents to learn the right use of this serious part of discipline and to use it wisely when it is indeed necessary.

And that leads to another point. Spanking should be reserved for only the worst offenses, just as the death penalty and church discipline are only used for the worst offenses in other areas of society.

Two books which have been a blessing in dealing with this issue are The Heart of Anger: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Childrenby Lou Priolo and Shepherding a Child's Heartby Tedd Tripp.

Please feel free in the Comments to suggest other balanced, faith-based books and resources you have found to be helpful in child rearing.

Living In the Light: Money, Sex, & Power - Book Review

2016-05-06T13:03:00.001-04:00

John Piper's new book Living in the Light: Money, Sex and Power is short, sweet, and right to the point. Though he artfully expands the scope of all three of these potentially dangerous areas of life, he doesn't mince words or go over the reader's head. Furthermore, I was glad to find that his conclusions are spot on and backed up with Scripture.

In a world where these particular areas are often exalted to idol status, it is imperative that believers not compromise what God has revealed in His Word concerning them. The pull can be overwhelming at times, especially when we are accused of being unjust or unrighteous when faced with those compromises. And often times the seeming conclusion is to abandon these good gifts of God altogether. Yet, a swing of the pendulum to the other side is not the biblical answer either.

Mr. Piper is well known for his views on how sex, money, power, and other pleasures of life are essentially all good gifts from God meant to glorify Him and bring good to us and to others.[1] The problem, of course, is in how we use and abuse these good gifts. It can be a difficult at times to discern when one has stepped out of bounds. But, the writer brings us back over and over again to the center -- back to what must be central -- if we are to ever live in the true light of God. Not many Christian self-help books draw you into the focus of where true deliverance may be found, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is refreshing how Piper keeps returning to that focus.

I believe Living in the Light: Money, Sex and Power would be a perfect gift for a wedding or graduation. However, those who are in positions of leadership where these three areas are often a temptation would be especially blessed in reading this little volume. It is a small book at only 154 pages, which also makes it an excellent devotional reader.[2]

[1] See his booDesiring God, Revised Edition: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist.k
[2] This book was expanded from messages given at the Revive meetings held by Co-Mission in the summer of 2015 in Canterbury, England. http://co-mission.org/

Mother's Day: It's Not About You

2016-05-05T13:44:00.001-04:00

My beautiful mother:
Connie (Southerland) Litwiller
1941-2013

Mother's Day can mean different things to different people depending on either their relationship to their own mother or on their status of being or not being a mother. If you had a great mom or have been a mother who enjoyed her motherhood, all is well. But, for others, if they've had a painful relationship with their mother and/or children, if they lost their mother, or if they never knew their mother, it can be a little harder to celebrate.

For women who have been unable to bear children, however, Mother's Day can be almost unbearable. The moment when the pastor has all the mothers stand to be honored is one of the worst tortures their souls endure year after year. Some even stay home from church on Mother's Day because of this practice. I have several friends and loved ones in this category with whom I grieve. Some have suggested that it would be best if pastors not perform this ceremony, and I know churches which have also foregone the traditional mother/daughter banquet for the same reason.

Another solution I have heard is to not set aside any days for honoring anyone in particular. Though honoring mothers has been traced back to Greek culture and there was the medieval British practice of observing Mother's Sunday on the fourth Sunday in Lent, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, and all the other "Days" -- which were set up at first by well-meaning people and later by florists and greeting card companies -- are largely a modern phenomena. I have written regarding the history of Mother's Day, and I believe it was begun with the best of intentions. And, since we are told in the Word of God to give honor to whom honor is due, I don't believe there is any reason to abandon Mother's Day as long as we focus on the purpose for it.[2][3]

It is interesting to note that the woman who was most influential in establishing a national celebration of mothers was herself an unmarried woman who never had children.

Anna May Jarvis,
founder of Mother's Day

Anna May Jarvis, a graduate of the Female Seminary in Wheeling, West Virginia, left her career as a school teacher and spent most of her single adult life caring for her ailing mother and sister. In 1907, two years after her mother's death, Miss Jarvis gathered a group of friends and announced her idea to encourage a day for people to show appreciation for their mothers, both the living and the dead. [1]

Miss Jarvis never intended to slight others of her type who were never granted the joys of motherhood. In fact, she never intended for it to be a celebration of Motherhood at all. This concept of exalting Motherhood has almost become an idolatry in the modern conservative church and perhaps has led to the kind of misguided rituals practiced around that day in our services.

I believe the only solution would be to return to the original purpose for Mother's Day: to honor our mothers, both living and dead. Rather than having all the mothers stand in the service, perhaps it would be more in keeping with the intention of the day for ministers to simply offer a prayer of thanksgiving to God for our mothers and to pray He would bless and keep those who are still with us.

In addition, just as those who honored their mothers in Miss Jarivis' day, perhaps we could reinstitute the practice on Mother's Day of wearing a red carnation if one's mother is living and a white one if she has passed on. My own mother's people used to do this with red and white roses. It was a lovely emblem of the love and honor they had for their mothers.

But, you might ask, what about those who never had a good relationship with their mother or never knew their mother at all? This is where the Body of Christ may shine the brightest. In the family of God, no one is barren and no one is abandoned. Mother's Day is a perfect time to honor those surrogate mothers who have nurtured and blessed us in the absence of or in addition to our own mothers.

Because of this, I don't believe mother/daughter banquets need to be abandoned either. In my experience, the conundrum of either not having a mother or a daughter to take to the banquet was usually only a challenge to seek out a substitute who would be blessed by being invited. I remember some people bringing aunts, school teachers, neighbors, or friends who were like a mother to them growing up. If viewed this way, mother/daughter banquets need not be a source of pain for anyone but rather a celebration of the gift of nurture by the mothering women in our lives.

I truly believe that if we could only restore Mother's Day to its rightful purpose of honoring our own mothers and those who nurtured us like mothers, it would once again be a day of joy and blessing to one and all. Furthermore, it would be a day of giving glory to God for giving us these precious women who love and care for us. May the Lord bless us with clear understanding and wise discernment in the church for how to glorify Him in honoring our mothers once again.

[1] From my blog post of May 9, 2008, A Short History of Mother's Day In America.
[2] Romans 13:7

[3] A very good article regarding the history of the establishment of Mother's Day in America may be found here: http://www.umc.org/who-we-are/mother-of-u.s.-mothers-day-was-west-virginia-methodist-ann-jarvis.

Pitchin' a Fit - Book Review

2016-03-15T11:59:00.000-04:00

When I first saw Pitchin' A Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting announced on the Family Renewal Facebook page, I knew I had to read it for several reasons. Though I have completed my years as a parent, I didn't want to make the same mistakes with our grandchildren I had made as a parent. Also, younger parents often come to me looking for godly counsel, and parenting is one of the main subjects on this blog. It is an awesome responsibility which I do not take lightly, so I knew I had to read this book.

Israel and Brook Wayne are a couple I have admired for a long time. In fact, I remember when their marriage was announced in his mother's magazine, Homeschool Digest. Learning from Israel's family, watching his life over these many years, and getting to know both him and his wife over the past few years through social media, I knew I could trust them to tell the truth in love. I was not disappointed.

Sure enough, as I worked through Pitchin' A Fit, memories flooded my mind of all my failures both past and present. I knew anger in parenting was something I had struggled with for a long time. I thought it was a necessary part of parenting, that it was good for kids to see an angry authority once in awhile so they would understand the wrath of God against sin. I blush to even admit that!

I have since learned and had it confirmed by reading this book that this way of thinking is not biblical at all. It was only foolish pride that made me think my sinful passions represented a holy and just God. And, to make matters worse, I was portraying an entirely wrong view of God to my children and grandchildren.

By the grace of God I had already been made aware of the culture of anger in which I was reared as a child prior to reading this book. I began to see that how others made me feel when they were angry was how I was making them feel when I was angry, and God broke my heart over it. Now He has used this book, Pitchin' A Fit, to continue that process of making me aware of my sin of anger.

I appreciate the humble and loving way in which Israel and Brook teach on this subject. They do so from experience, both in how they have struggled with anger and also how they have been affected by it in others. Truly, the testimony of Israel Wayne and his family as given in this book makes it worth reading for that alone. By all accounts, Israel should not be writing a book on Christian parenting at all, let alone on angry parenting. Were it not for God's grace in his life, he would be only another statistic in the number of angry, abusive parents who were abused by an angry, abusive parent. His testimony and Brook's examples of how God has worked in her own heart in this matter give hope to those of us who also struggle.

Yet, the authors not only give counsel from their own experiences regarding anger in parenting but also offer Scripture proofs. Israel and Brook have learned these truths from the Word of God themselves and use it thoroughly and accurately to bring them home to the reader in a gentle and loving way.

I encourage all parents, grandparents, teachers, and anyone else who has children in their care to read this little book with an open mind and a prayerful heart. It is never too late to begin afresh in the grace of God. So much damage in our homes and future homes could be averted if we would only take counsel from God's word.