HERE TO INSPIRE

Dealing with rejection-people’s perception of you shouldn’t destroy your destiny

2016-06-17T07:26:00.001-07:00

Have you ever flashed back to the days of your life...the people you have encountered, those that have embraced you and those that never opened their doors to you? Do you ever remember how many times you sought and were rejected? Do you remember how many times you wanted to do something and someone told you, “you are not the person you we are looking for…you do not match our quality and we are not certain of your capabilities among others?”

Sometimes we walk into people offices and tell them I can do this and the other for you and you are openly and out rightly rejected without second thought. They never take the initiative to do some basic research about you. Sometimes you look at someone and you fall in love with them. After a lot more debate with yourself, you gain the courage and put on that mask of the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and say to the person how you feel about them. Consequently you are told, you are not the kind of person I can ever date. Imagine the feeling that comes with rejection! You begin to ask yourself questions from whether it’s because you are poor, whether it’s because of your age, religion, colour and others to imagining whether you are damp or generally worthless.

Unsurprisingly, many of these rejections come from people within out circles. The people that claim to know us, those that are only keen on your weakness rather the strengths. Those that never want to acknowledge your contribution to society and those that want to block opportunities for you.

With rejection, we tend to relegate ourselves to lonely individuals getting to almost hate each and every one we meet in life so long as they possess qualities and similarities to the people that have rejected us in the past.

Many people have destroyed themselves due to rejection. Some have killed themselves as others have killed others due to rejection. Whereas rejection is a painful experience that comes with psychological tortures, people shouldn’t lose hope.

The greater percentage of people in the world who have gone to succeed are those that were rejected in the past. Some time back, I was reading through some essays submitted to the Queen Commonwealth Essay Competition, 2016 and one of the essays contained lines such as, "Walt Disney was said to have less imagination by a company and dismissed, but went ahead to be great .Michael Jordan was not selected in his school’s basketball team he locked himself in his room and he is one of the best players today .Oprah Winfrey was fired by the producer of a local channel who had said that she was ‘Unfit for television’ and now Oprah’s name is known to almost everybody across the globe. Before Microsoft, Bill Gates suffered great loss in his first business and also belonging from middle class family he didn’t have money but he is now one of the richest men alive”

Sometimes we fail to make an appealing picture in the minds of the people who know us, those we live with daily and those that interact with us either in the place of work, home, origin or residence because they do not believe in us. Jesus didn’t perform many miracles in Jerusalem because the people of that place never believed in him. And where there is always prejudice and conceived bias, however hard you try to be good, you will always appear unable to those people.

Sometimes they begin to make statements like, this young man/ woman that I have been seeing here for the last five years claims he/ she can do this and the other. Sometimes some people deliberately choose not to acknowledge whatever you are good at.

In dealing which such circumstances, always accept rejection with an array of positivity. Let your rejection be the stepping stone in all you future endeavors. Work to better yourself in several aspects and work to show that you are not what they thought you were. Zinedin Zidane now the Real Madrid Coach was once rejected by Totenham Hotspur football Club for being too wooden, but went on to become one of the world’s greatest footballing icons with Madrid and France. Steve Jobs was dismissed by Apple, a company he helped found and later went on to found Macintosh and one other company that went on to flourish, he was later recalled after Apple Showed signs of crumbling. Macintosh was subsequently bought by Apple. These and many other stories are just few that you can learn from.

Embrace every rejection, aspire to be better every day. Have the courage, determination, and personal intuitive and always have the energy to get up when you have fallen.

fekakoro@gmail.com +256755229518 @ekakorofredrick

Ekakoro Fredrick Etoori has emerged through the corridors of disbelief to be one of the inspiring young men in the world as a leader/ enterprise, Behaviour change communications trainer/ mentor and consultant.

HERE TO INSPIRE: Leadership, the cornerstone of social cohesion; gr...

2016-03-21T04:49:00.001-07:00

HERE TO INSPIRE: Leadership, the cornerstone of social cohesion; gr...: Flashing back to the then days when I was a little young boy, I always heard of people call themselves leaders some of them were praised b...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

Leadership, the cornerstone of social cohesion; great leaders uplift others, rather than destroy them

2016-03-21T03:30:00.003-07:00

Flashing back to the then days when I was a little young boy, I always heard of people call themselves leaders some of them were praised by society. They owned about two or three fair permanent or semi permanent houses with their children going to fairly established schools and their diet was not the ordinary one. So much often, I would see them rub shoulders with their averagely or absolutely poor and defenceless neighbours who owned almost close to nothing. Many of those poor ones had lost some portion of their land to those so called leaders or they later lost everything. Their lives were in danger as some of them actually died mysteriously.

Through my socialisation process from primary school to university and to the work environment, I have not only been perturbed by the word “leader” as those I have come across certainly do not seem to be distinct from the “village leaders” that I have known with their selfish and heinous actions. One of my vivid experiences was the one I ever came across working with a certain organisation whose name I shall not mention. Despite severally attempting to work hard to fulfil my duties and even go overboard to perform such extra duties, my effort landed me on the wrong side of the boss’s feelings.

At some point in the course of my work, I could witness several policies that could have never been part of the organisation policies instituted against me. At some point my boss would just come up when I am in the middle of writing a report and tell me to perform duties of the administration assistant who in most situations was in office...My attempts to inquire why all that was done to me earned me a description such as disobedient to authority and disrespectful to my superiors. I became the object of hate and all kinds of descriptions and utterances. For quite a while, I endured the insults, the mockery, harassment and intimidation. It came a time I couldn’t bear. I had to choose between earning money in a rough environment and pursuing personal development and happiness outside that organisation.

The most annoying bit of it is that, my former boss has never ceased to follow me to different spheres. Despite his actions which have vividly showed up against his other peers, he remains to be glorified in the civil society movement. This article is however not meant to discredit my employer completely, but rather to examine the true ideals of leaders and leadership.

If the most glorified leaders we have are those that constrict the spheres of those around them, then Africans should not ask why they have the problems they are seeing today. It now appears apparent that the most respected leaders of our times are those that own lots of money, own large chunks of land, own lots of multimillion properties and are able to side and never criticise those oppressing others. If this kind of mentality persists, our continent and the world at large are headed for doom. With our people at the forefront sabotaging the efforts of the lowly, real development will continue to be an illusion.

In my view therefore, leadership is the ability to enlist the support of others to attain common course and to uplift them from their current status to a more decent one. True leaders rise up to the occasion when there is a very big challenge that may not be handled by the ones below them. Therefore, a leader should be able to give room to those around them and those below to exercise their rights and to be able to practice their abilities.

Shockingly, most of these glorified people have little or less understanding of the problems affecting us and pour people, but rely on the knowledge and the intellectual prowess of those they are trying to fight. This alone not only portrays the level of intellectual dishonesty, but also depicts the greedy practices of wanting to rise above with the effort of those they are demeaning.

When I was a child, two things differentiated by father from my grandmother...I was never among the best performers in school until when I reached Primary six. All those days, I had been hyperactive. I always found myself in conflict with school authorities. No day skipped by without me being flogged by the teachers. My parents equally canned me each day I either left for school or returned. My father had almost given up with me. He always told my peers to call me, “ebang lo” in Ateso loosely translated in English as, “a fool”. I always never felt comfortable. Sometimes I would pretend to go to the bush to look for firewood, but I would use that opportunity to ask myself if those were my parents or if I would ever be a wise in the class. One evening, my dad had resolved to flog me. He had just begun canning me. Each time he was canning me, he never wanted me to cry aloud and worse of all, and he always wanted me to appreciate him for canning me. I would ask myself, “Why would I appreciate you for torturing me?”

That evening, I cried aloud. The more I cried the more he intensified caning me. My grandmother, Idionyi came running and panting like a dog that was running after a monkey. Her building was about 200 meters from our compound. At the top of her voice she shouted, “Alex, stop beating your son. One day you will end up killing him” she ran and threw herself on my father. After some struggle, he yielded to her objection towards beating me. However, he continued to say he would kill me. “This fool is useless. He is eating a lot of my food for nothing” he would utter. There I was sobbing and wiping the tears that flowed profusely. My grandmother walked up to me, consoled me and said, “Do not mind your father, you are not stupid, you will be a great man one day” I looked at her, but continued to sob. She lifted me up and wiped the dirt on my clothes.

From that day, I started to see a difference in my life, it was a transformational moment. I started to have hope. I started to have self esteem. The animosity in me towards other young people increasingly dwindled. Today I look back and I wish that my grandmother were alive to see the fruits of her words. Despite being an illiterate who dropped out of school in primary three, my grandmother was able to realise that beating alone would not have transformed me. My father was a primary teacher who adopted his father’s style of parenting. To them, every mistake was to be met with canes.

My personal experience has always and will continue to be a figure in the transformational inspiration of those who do not believe in themselves. Twenty eight years down the road, I have gone beyond borders, the borders of race, religion, culture, political affiliations and social class and geographical borders to motivate and build young people to realise their full positive mental potentials and to be agents of change in their societies.

Being elevated to the president of the FOWODE Young Leaders Alumni Association (FYLAA), selected to be a member of the Commonwealth Youth Gender Equality Network (CYGEN) and awarded a title of Associate Fellow by the Royal Commonwealth Society (RCS) for a relentless commitment to the transformation of the lives of people across the commonwealth and now in the verge of being declared a mentor to the Queen’s Young Leaders Programme, if someone never at one point lifted me up. I would not have come thus far and would not be committed to transforming the lives of others.

For motivational talks, mentoring and training in leadership/ enterprise and business development/ public speaking, strategic planning, among others, please do contact me on +256777260171 or by email fekakoro@gamil.com

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

WITH HOPE, YOU CAN GO PLACES

2014-11-07T06:44:00.005-08:00

“Hope is that thing in us that keeps saying that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach it” President Barrack Obama in his 2007 campaign speeches.

There is certainly no human in this world that has no problems, but our problems/ challenges seem to be heightened by our own minds. One wise man once said, “Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.” Every day, we wake up with many demands, little or no money to get going and or no one to offer a hand.

The great obstacle to success in life is not the lack of ideas, but the presence of hopelessness. Lack of a positive belief that one day, one time, something better shall happen. The great majority of people have ideas, but do have little hope to either believe that it can work or even to start.

Hope is when you see nothing tangible in your disposure and you still believe that one day, you will have it. Hope is when life seems almost ending, but having the belief that things shall be good.

In the busy streets of marvelous cities reside a great deal of people with less or no money. No homes to reside in, no place to get food, no one to lean on, but life has to go one. Many of them would have committed suicide because life seems unworthy living.

Hope is that thing that keeps telling us, keep going forward, keep trying and keep being creative and innovative. Hope is that thing that keeps giving us the courage to walk on foot when others are driving posh cars. Hope is that thing that keeps telling you to begin from where you are. Hope is that thing that keeps telling us, go that direction even when there is seemingly no way.

Taking lessons from the great American, Thomas Alber Edison who innovated the electric bulb. He has become one of my great inspirers. Trying more than 1999 times and always failing, he never at any one point gave up, but in the 10,000^thtime, he was eventually successful. In his own words, “I have not failed, but I only found 10,000 ways that never worked”

A great deal of people give up in life just after a few trials. They give up just because they don’t seem to see the good in what they are doing, but focus only on the negativities.

Leaving his parents, wandering along the rail road, trying to sell fruits in the street to raise capital for himself…Alber Edison did not give up even after he was expelled from the train in which he was earning a little living. Wandering through the streets of New York, with no money in himself, he eventually became a beggar, but his plight did not stop him from establishing his own factory and inventing what his dream kept telling him to do.

Thousands of ideas have perished because of lack of hope and courage. With hope and courage, many things can be possible. The ability to constantly think of the good things, breeds more hope. The little hope in us is killed by pessimists who never believe in themselves. They are the reason, you should never get close to them.

It is for the lack of hope, courage and determination that someone will walk to workers house and throw themselves to the ground from the fifth floor just because their hopelessness, creates a sense of impatience and lack of skill in tackling problems.

It is because of the lack of hope that a woman will give herself to a cunning “employer” in the name of securing a job. Just because she does not hope that without giving the man sex, she can’t get a job. Hope is that thinking that makes us believe that we are worthy, even when you do not have a single penny to yourself. Hope is the belief that you are even better than some of the people who see themselves as better.

Hope is when you sleep without any significant meal every day and still believe that you will be having a buffet in your meal every day in the future. Hope is when you are rejected, isolated and mocked by people and still have the belief that someday, someone will accept you. That one day, people will be around you.

Jesus himself, probably would not have been who he is remembered for if had not any hope. Many great people we see today are those that believed that one day, they shall be better. Those that grew in homes where riding in car was a myth. Where eating bread/ cakes was an illusion. And it is such that have risen to the echelon of today’s admiration.

Have the hope and the courage will yield determination. Where there is hope, there is a way

The author is a business trainer/ consultant. A motivational speaker and Founder of Milestone Africa, a consultancy firm that specializes, research, marketing, promotions, public relations, advertising, entrepreneurship and business trainings among others.

Contact the author on fekakoro@yahoo.com or +256752142630

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

EXPECT ANYTHING IN LIFE

2014-06-30T01:41:00.000-07:00

when one of my uncles invited me to a meeting in his home in Bweyogerere a Kampala suburb, my thoughts were divided and my decision to attend rested upon a friend with whom I was hanging out that Saturday. “Go and attend the meeting” she emphasized. Yet in my heart, I felt that not attending it would have been worthwhile in restoring my happiness indicating that being present in that meeting would have reawakened the bitter thoughts in my life about the past three years of my dreaded life.

When my friend pressed a lot for me to attend the meeting, I thought twice and said, “fine, I shall attend” but even then, I wasn’t very certain of the agenda of the meeting.

In about a half hours time, I had left Ntinda and arrived in Bweyogerere. On entering the house, the place seemed lifeless. I dashed into the sitting room and found the meeting was underway to conclusion. “You are not late. My uncle acclaimed. Welcome and have a seat” he said in a jovial mood. Seeming a little unsure of myself, with the humility that I always present myself, I stretched my hand to greet every other person present. When that was done, uncle ushered me into the meeting and told me what the meeting was all about and where they had reached.

To my realisation, the meeting was about celebrating the Marriage Anniversary of my maternal grandparents. I got relieved a little and fitted well into the meeting.

The most stunning moment of my life that day was not that I didn’t want to attend the meeting, but found myself there. The harrowing bit of it came when it was time for making pledges and contributions. For a moment, the house was in silence. First, it was my uncle who made his pledge of 1.5m. Second was my maternal aunt who is a headmistress in one of the schools in Kampala and she pledged 800 thousand shillings then followed by her step-brother who pledged the same amount. Every time someone pledged, the whole house would applaud them with a thunderous hand clap. It continued and three other people made their pledges.

For a while I was lost in a decision on what I wanted to contribute. First I thought should I pledge 500,000? Something in me reminded me of other duties I had to fulfil in the few coming days. So the decision to pledge rested on 200,000/=. I raised up my hand a little and everyone looked at me in awe. I could easily read in their faces that they were shocked if I had wanted to make a pledge. Given the way they had in the past looked at me, I wanted to make a shock by pledging almost the same amount some of them had, but I thought to myself again and went with the earlier decision.

“I shall contribute 200,000” I said bravely. They looked at me and they looked at each other for a while. The surprise was vivid in their faces and after a few seconds, they clapped. With my open mindedness, I was almost tempted to ask as to why they were shocked, but I didn’t want to show that I had noticed the surprise in them so...I halted that.

After the meeting, almost each and every one treated me with respect, wanted to discuss with me development issues and what initiatives I was involved in. Wanting to maintain my low status, I chatted less and listened much, but brought in jokes and we laughed our way as we walked to the road side to wait for taxis.

It was such a moment that made me to believe that situations move with circumstances. The present perception of yourself can cover the past perception of you.

Believe it or doubt it. Life presents what it decides to, but the way we choose to accept life’s presents is one thing that matters a lot. Growing up a happy boy who easily opened up to people and who easily associated with people, after a few setbacks in my life, I had to have a food for thought and rethink myself.

Dashing into intense thoughts about the recent past in my life, I was rest assured, that the world only abandons you when you become irrelevant. The more you make yourself relevant and useful to the world around you, the more it moves with you.

It then reminded me of how in the past I would plead with women requesting them to be my fiancée and how they would reject me with no shame, I mean the rejections were never tactful, but those done in the African style, you know how it hurts. The recent past in my life has seen my Face Book inbox flooded with messages requesting to have a meeting with me-something unusual since in the past, it had always been me handing in the requests. My phone has also tended to be busy with messages and calls that I hardly respond to or pick. Life in general is looking different.

With about 10 vivid rejections in my life in the last eight years trying to found an intimate relationship, I am impressed beyond doubt that perhaps one day, is shall not have to plead so much to have a woman by my side. The quality of my life will dictate the end result, I believe so.

This comes at a point when for the last seven months I have been pleading with a one lovely woman wanting to be her right man. Oh, you wouldn’t want to know the hell of frustrations that come with unsuccessful attempts to land on the right woman. Your imaginations could best save me the explanations since mere words may not thoroughly explain the circumstances.

Till then, all that remains in me is that life never remains the same as long as you work to make it better. Success has got more friends than failure.

The writer works with African Youth Development Link, is Founder of the THE BALLAD MAGAZINE and Milestone Africa, a Youth Leader, Public Speaker/Motivational Speaker and Writer as well as a social political analyst

fekakoro@yahoo.com+256752142630

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

THE PLIGHT OF TODAY'S YOUNG MEN, A RESULT OF GENDER BAISES AND MISCONCEPTIONS

2014-03-14T06:30:00.004-07:00

Perhaps it was then that growing up a boy was one of the most interesting and wonderful part of life. To any young man today, it may be a little different and quit cumbersome to think that may be at one point in time, all shall be well.

With the fruits of women emancipation yielding well to the extent that now every family has a girl up to a certain level of education, the future is seemingly becoming harrowing and mind boggling to think that education will better any man’s life.

The life of a young man today is that that he has to endure the daunting moments of heckling from the opposite sex many of whom always think they are mature enough. The young man of today unlike one of those days, must struggle amid many forces against them to strive to achieve to the expectation and measure of the same opposite sex that believes that they are empowered.

The young man of today, despite being denied 1.5 additional points to enter university has got to struggle to do the course works for the female counterparts some of whom may be their intimate partners. The young man struggles to research, scribble the course works while the female counter parts are busy in the streets of busy towns and in wonderful places of clubs, theatres, take away restaurants and in the end they claim the young man is not style up.

The consequence of outings makes the female counterparts to perform worse and in the end, they want Affirmative Action. To worsen matters, the female counterparts are busy outing with men several times their age fit to be their grandfathers. Am I being biased? A friend of mine said so, but I am told these days we also have men who date their “grandmothers.” The same young man even with today’s unemployment rate is supposed according to the perceptions of the so called emancipated women to provide may be half or almost all of the needs of the female counterpart, short of that, the calamity may not be far from desertion, mockery and hatred.

The debate that cultural buriers are still stringent on the side of women is yet another question that we need to ponder upon. Well, it may be true and the blame game will perhaps be the most unquenchable weapon upon the failure of most women.

The plight of the young man today is to maneuver through unfair selection process in jobs selection with priority given to women who have unlike in the past gone to earn better money, but still want the men they have put in disadvantaged position to be the bread winners, save for the widows and divorced by uncertainty

In an era of a time when women are doing all possible, this may be one of the most controversial piece if writing from a fellow like me who has been an eminent agitator of women rights and associated with one of the big women’s organizations in the country, but I hope I will bring in a constructive though divergent debate to this. Perhaps, I may have to borrow the view point of controversial journalist and “old man of the clan” Andrew Mwenda when he says that one’s views may change, but I don’t mean that I have stopped fighting for the rights of women,

As if it isn’t enough, the plight of the young man of today is made more than worse even when women who may be their age mates or even younger than them begin to think that they are immature even when they foot their own bills, and take them out for movie nights, buy them drinks, buy them expensive phones, buy them all sorts of gifts and take them to expensive dinners, but the emancipated women hardly has the courtesy to reciprocate their actions.

The plight of young man of today is even made graver when he attempts to propose to women he has been nice to. He has to keep trying his lack as society believes that that at one point, he must be able to bring home the lost rib.

The plight of the young men of today is to suffer insults of their so cold fiancées who do not realize that probably at one point he could have grown up from a poor home and has to take responsibility of the success of their home as well build and maintain his relationship with a woman who has several men on standby and may squash her decision to the latter.

fekakoro@yahoo.com

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

SIX THINGS TO BEAR IN MIND ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND US

2013-12-05T05:17:00.001-08:00

SIX THINGS TO BEAR IN MIND ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND US

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

standards and love-which is ideal?

2013-11-07T02:20:00.001-08:00

standards and love-which is ideal?

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

HERE TO INSPIRE: THE NEGATIVE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE “WISE”

2013-09-04T02:59:00.001-07:00

THE NEGATIVE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE “WISE”:
As I was contemplating on a number of occasions where I have gotten myself in heated arguments with some people and mostly those who s...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

THE NEGATIVE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE “WISE”

2013-09-04T02:42:00.001-07:00

As I was contemplating on a number of occasions where I have gotten myself in heated arguments with some people and mostly those who say they are older than I am and claim to be the wise and best at almost everything, a number of deductions and questions came into my mind.

Do all the grownups help young ones to develop their full positive mental and cognitive prowess? Do the old people ever realize that they ever kill the potentials of young people? Do all these people irrespective of whether they are old or young who claim to be at a better position to help others really not exploit them? And do they actually help them?

I attached to him. At a certain point as people who seek for knowledge and those who share ideologies, he asked for a copy of an academic paper that I had written and presented in certain conference in which I willingly did and even told him that he should not just distributed or he should respect my copy right, but it seemed I was talking to an igneous rock. A few weeks later, I saw an article in his name in one of the leading dailies in Uganda (daily monitor) having a summary of the paper I wrote without recognizing me as the author.
A friend of mine who I have known for close to four years now actually made me lose the respect that I had for long

I was a frequent visitor of his blog hoping that he always had good information o pass on the public, but I as put in use my detective and investigative instincts, I realized that most of the information on his blog is plagiarized. On that note, no longer visit his blog since I have come to a conclusion that he just a mere representation of people’s minds and ideas in his name. That makes one no worse than an academic murderer. The question I will add on to this is, how will such a person be of influence to people he claims to be leading, when in actual sense the ideas he puts down are not a representation of his actually thoughts and how will I be tempted to believe in such a person if all he

does is unscrupulous? I would have said more and more, but for now, will end at that.

The question of older people being able to mentor the young ones who live around or with them... reminiscing the time when I took part in a writing contest organized by the centre for African cultural excellence (CACE), a few things again stuck to my mind and left me pondering if really we can mentor young people if we make rather harsh and biased remarks on what they do and or what they intend to do. After my short story, “I will fight on” was short listed, we went through a mentoring session that culminated into each of the 23 writers attached to mentors, people with accredited attributes in writing in and around the world. I was attached to one of the writers who for long I had been hearing about and was still reading her story the Butterfly dreams. She asked for my story which I did email to her and whereas I knew that my story had many mistakes, the most catching comments from her were, “do you really read fiction. It looks like you read a lot of self help books” this in its own style was biased. That first gave me the impression that however much I tried to push on, my life thought, “where there is always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad” comes into play. Eventually, I ended up giving up and was kicked out of the shortlist that made it to the final publication. If at all my mentor will read this, let her not take this personal, but there is a point I am driving at.

A few months later after I changed the title of my eBook enrolled at #Amazon.com from “marry or keep searching” to “#the secret of loving and being loved”, a face book friend of mine Phionah B, who I may have personally met or not at all read it and had a chat with me on face book and her comments were as follows

“Your book is interesting though I don't know why you chose to use the commanding tone (as used by some preachers) and she went on “it prevents some of us who have an attitude towards that commanding language from gaining interest. There is away it blocks ones ego to take in the message yet it would have been attractive and helpful otherwise” when u look at their style, t is not harsh but conveys the message....... (I don't know if I am making sense) there are things that are facts and we know them because we encounter them each day, but for us to take them seriously, the way they are presented matters. Yours is not a science book meant for examination work or a constitution to go by I guess”. And later she sends a message and says, whereas the comments were rather touching this final comment would give an array of hope“Your book is helpful especially to the single women”

If there is anyone reading this article, I ask, who among these two; my mentor and the reader, who would be a better mentor than the other? Is it the one with rude comments or the one with soft and encouraging comments? This is where the negative significance of the “wise” comes in. they live with us, they interact with us and they are everywhere, but has their existence been of any relevance to the people around them? How many people have they made great apart from self revere?

Is mentoring just looking at only the negative side or the positives as well? does one just mentor by criticizing without giving solutions? these among many other things is what most of our so called elderly and grown up people do, that is why you find that in the long run, their efforts are admonished and yet they at the same time use their ideas to foster their social economic growth and development. Great thinkers in the world among others: Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov and William Shakespeare among others are believed to have written their first pieces of works in their early twenties that have remained relevant to the modern world. Chinua Achebe, one of the most valued writers wrote his first novel, things fall apart when he was just 24 years and yet today there are people who believe that young people are incapable.

SUCCESS IS NOT ABOUT BEING A WOMAN OR MAN

2013-04-27T13:25:00.001-07:00

In such an African setting where the males have for long been seen as the superiors in every aspect of life, many women have been brought up to think that they are incapable as many men keep telling them as they grow from childhood to adult hood. Let every woman outside there make their ambitions to perish. Many women in this world have made it, just to mention but a few; Winfrey Oprah the American idol who rose froma relatively poor upbringing, the late Martha Wanghai the noble peace price Laurette and environmentalist, Dr Miria Matembe the then minister for ethics and integrity, outspoken and probably the most vocal woman of her time, Silvia Awori the fashion icon, among many others.

From a relatively humble home, Oprah Winfrey for instance did not remain the woman she was at child hood... despite a number of set backs she encountered in child hood, she still strove irrespective of the her surrounding to be among the richest people in the US beating the men who claim to be superior. Irrespective of your age as a woman, origin, culture and traditions, you have all it takes to be the woman you may dream to be. The worst injustice you can ever do to your self is to believe that you are incapable, actually, its a very sure way of courting failure. To be the women you want, first of all, you must ask yourself, what do I want to be? When do I want to be who I want to be? What do I need to be who I want to be? What do I have and what do I lack and how can I get what I lack.

It doesn’t matter what conditions you have had in life.

It doesn’t matter what your origin is, but what matters is your future, the past is past and the future remains the future, therefore, do you want your past to destroy your future. Actually the future is greater than the past irrespective of how long your past is. If for instance with all probably the challenges you have had in the past you are still living, what would inhibit you to make better and significant progress in your life?

You should always believe in yourself. Murcas Gurvey, one of the most celebrated anti slavery activists once said that, with confidence you have already won even before you start, but without confidence, you are twice beaten” However, you may never have the confidence if you do not believe in yourself.

It is understandable that women in particular have got a number of challenges especially accrued to them by the biological processes, but this should not mean that out of all the successful women today that none of them performs the biological responsibilities. This should even task women to be better planners and visualizers. When the going gets tough, the tough gets the going and Chinua Achebe once said that, when the birds learn to fly without perching, the hunters learn to shoot without missing. Therefore, women in this case should be the hunters to shoot the birds that have learned to fly without perching.

Do embrace every challenges that comes your way with a positive mind and that way, you will be in position to get the probable solutions to the existing challenges.

To sum this up, the ball lies in your hands, either kick it into the goal or kick it to the side net. You have all it takes to be who you want to be. Keep your dreams alive by being focused on what you want to achieve. Let it be the order of the day for any woman who wants to achieve by thinking constantly on what one would like to achieve. Every night before falling asleep, reflect on the past day assess your performance, where you went right, what you did rightly and what you did not do rightly. Think of how you can reduce your weaknesses and see how you can build further on your strengths. Either way, reflect on how the next day will be and see the probable challenges that you may encounter in the coming days and try to figure out how you can be in position to sort them out. Pave you destiny and do not be demoralised by society and its traits of attitudes towards women.

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT ANY EASY TO GET

2013-04-02T09:32:00.001-07:00

Naturally, any man or woman who is sexually active or even impotent/ barren will always want someone of the opposite sex to be there for them, but many have had stories to tell. When we all try to look back to our past and try to recall the time when you were in love with this gentle man or lady and the either party didn’t reciprocate your love and probably you assumed that you were not that worthy. Don’t worry; your prayers will be answered!

a young woman drugged and raped by a Man she met on face book

Today, unlike in the African Traditional Society, relationships have evolved from time to time. In the past, many or few years, anyone would move to the well and get a woman to love or one would move into a ‘masanja’ dance hut and get a person to walk with home.

Alternatively, parents and aunties would make deals when the actual person did not know anything. Today, unlike in the past, things have changed, money seems to be the centre of every relationship, whether the other party is a detoother or genuine, it’s the same story.

In many intimate relationships today, it’s a process that either becomes successful or never. With the “global village” that we are living in today, things have become rather complicated than usual. With the internet in place and the rise of social media; face book, Google, Twitter, Badoo, Zorpia among others, only God knows what happens there.

Visiting someone today for instance, requires money, dating someone today requires money, effective communication (phone or skype) today requires money and yet the credit crunch is pinching in pockets of even the wealthy. This partly explains why people from humble families will end up frustrated and lonely since many of them may not be in position to meet the costs of sustaining a relationship either long distance or short distance. Many women today will prefer to meet at certain places; I am told they call it “outing”...the modern day language to signify civility. Whereas it may be a good idea meeting in a place where the either party feels comfortable, the other question would be, for how long will it be? Many relationships have ended up in the so called outing since many people will want to court/ date for certain time.

Probably, God wants us to meet wrong people in life before we meet the right people finally. Along the way, we meet people who are just interested in our money, or wanting to use us as a stepping stone in their careers in the name of being in a relationship. After getting what they want, they will be no more. Even when they are dating you, eight out of every ten men or women will always have two or more men or women chasing after them. In actual sense, they are dating more than one person. This is all brought about by the fact that every day in our lives especially in institutions of learning, work place or church, we meet new people and who probably for one reason or the other will want to found relationships. This makes many people to get confused and in the long run they are left as lonely as an isolated hill. Those who are interested in the money will run away when they realize that the other person is either sharp or does not easily release money. Are you too serious or undecided?

The other reason why dating has always failed in many people’s relationships is that, who pays for the bills each time you are going out, who should talk most or least in that date? Who should always do the phone calling or home visiting, where should the next date be and why, how open or untrustworthy is the other person? Should people hug or kiss the first time or second when they are out for a date? These among others are the considerations that are usually under looked and taken for granted and by the end of the day, the other person is nowhere to be found?

One or both of the people in the date will always have one leg the other side and one leg in the relationship. Meaning that, any time, he/she will run away, but yet again, there are those few of course who will be very serious, but they are always not taken seriously by the other party.

In many situations, those who are searching and perhaps intending to date always confide themselves in individuals who actually do not want them in their lives. However, loving someone is not a guarantee that you will be loved back.

Do not force love, because at one point if the other person realises that you are ideal, he/she will love you back. In situations where the other party is not interested in discussing issues to do with intimate relationships, do not force, because America can never be Uganda and vice versa. If you love someone and he/she does not reciprocate your love, be thankful to yourself that you showed love and you were not treated equally.

Take heart and remember that there is always at least that one person who loves you and you have not realised or have always minimized and deemed unworthy. Never let go what you have and never cry for what you cannot get.

By; Ekakoro Fredrick Etoori

0777260171/ fekakoro@yahoo.com

improve access of sexual and reproductive health services for persons with disabilites

2013-03-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

http://ekaksthelad.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/improve-access-of-sexual-and-reproductive-health-services-for-persons-with-disabilities-pwds/

THE JOY AND TRICKINESS OF THE NEW YEAR.

2013-01-01T01:30:00.001-08:00

HERE TO INSPIRE: THE JOY AND TRICKINESS OF THE NEW YEAR.: Probably, the person who thought that years should come and go could have been a prophet or closely related to the divine God and ther...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

THE JOY AND TRICKINESS OF THE NEW YEAR.

2013-01-01T01:27:00.000-08:00

Probably, the person who thought that years should come and go could have been a prophet or closely related to the divine God and there was a strong purpose for that, but that is not very certain. I am not certainly very sure of how the new years are determined. Those who are familiar with the creation story may actually have a deeper understanding of that.

Many countries get into the New Year several hours before others. That could be very synonymous with the Scandinavian countries and the polar countries where as many other countries get into the new year almost at the same time and indeed quite synonymous with the African continent.

Yes, just last night, at around 12:00am, there were several voices of humans scattered in numerous locations. They could easily be heard ulululating at the top of their abilities Ayi ayi ayi yi yi yi yi! Bright colors of divided scraps of light shone intermittently up and down the sky. Within seconds and minutes, they could easily be seen no more. The New Year 2013 had been successfully ushered in.

Even those who were bed ridden could have had a sigh of relief though false since many could be counting their days. Some spent millions of money on celebrations while others spent money on one night stands to fulfill their long sleeved appetite. Well, it’s none of my business to know how you spend your money; it could be of your importance to flash back and see how the year 2012 was either rough or smooth on your side. Even if it had been smooth, ask yourself, will 2013 be smooth? Will you enjoy the same money that you had then? Will your health be the same as before? Will you have the same job that you had then?

One wise man by the name of Steven covey once said, “We may be busy, we may be efficient, but we can only truly be effective if only we started with the end in mind. One will eventually wonder what the end here means…in his words, he further said, assume you were dead and it was your burial, what would you expect mourners to say about you? In this case, other factors such as death held constant, and taking into account the fact that we shall still be alive till 2014, how would you wish 2013 to end?

Ask yourself the following questions: do I have something that I would like to achieve? If there is any, why do I want to achieve it? When do I hope to achieve it? Where do I hope to achieve it? And most importantly again, how will I be able to achieve what I want to achieve? Who do I need to see this idea come into fruition?

On top of that, one anti slavery activist, by the name of Marcus Mosiah Gurvey once said, a people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture, are like a tree without roots. Yes, to know where you are going, you should know where you have come from. What do I mean here, I am not meaning that you should go and beginning looking for the past rigid cultural traditions that existed then, I mean, let’s remember the year 2012 and assess ourselves and look at the following: did I make any positive difference in my life? If not, was it constant or negative? What made it so/ could it have been you yourself responsible for the negative progress? It not, were they factors and conditions beyond your control? If yes or not, how are you planning to overcome the above circumstances?

There are just more than many questions that we can ask ourselves and indeed we can have the answers to them if we mean to. I could go and on, but to sum it up, one important aspect in our lives is, we should learn to live within our means…many young people even the old, want to live on standards beyond their earnings and instead live on borrowed money or that is why a young university woman or man would risk his/her future by going out with a sugar daddy who has sugar coated cash.

Conclusively, begin to be today what you want to be tomorrow for we are who we are, because we think we can be who we are.

Happy 2013 filed with happiness, joy, peace, prosperity and unity.

Ekakoro Fredrick etoori

AkA EKAKS THE LAD

Motivational and inspirational public speaker and writer

+256777260171/+256793284033

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

importance of self evaluation

2012-12-25T05:03:00.000-08:00

importance of self evaluation

its yet another Christmas season and many people are now jubilating for having reached this moment. many people have died along the way even when many of them would have wished to be here today, but God's ways are not man's ways.
whereas it would be so normal and important to celebrate the birth of Christ, it would also equally be important to evaluate our selves right from the time this year 2012 started and soon coming to the end. yes, you have achieved and failed somewhere, but the most important and basic questions you should ask your self are:

What have i achieved

Was it part of my plans

Have i achieved according to the way i planned at the beginning of the year or not?

Have i failed somewhere?

And if i failed, what made me to fail?

Did i have everything that i needed to achieve what i wanted?

Can i still push on with the same plans and if yes, when do i hope to achieve them?

Who will help me achieve them

The above questions appear as they are, but for any individualto be successful, they shpuld be part and basal of that individual. well, in many situations, people just dash into things with out wheter it is worthwhile doing it or not.
just like someone who wants to start up a business may wake up one morning and says, today i am starting a business without asking him/herself what kind of business he/she would like to start, where, when and what do i need to have the business running. what kind of customers am i targeting and also why?

many of the successful entrepreneurs today did not wake up from anywhere and started up businesses, they did the thinking and planning as well as carrying out self analysis and evaluation. that is exactly what the world needs today. However, we may not all be in position to establish new businesses from those that are already existent because , many people have already set up many businesses and enterprises, but the most basic question one should ask him/herself is, how can i be in position to beat those who are already existing so as to win the atention of customers?

So, as we usher in the coming new year, we should bear in our minds the above mentioned questions and if we can answer them, i strongly do believe that we shall not remain the same...come rain or shine!

lets reflect, meditate, think creatively and critically. bravo!

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

HERE TO INSPIRE: marry or keep searching

2012-10-19T03:57:00.001-07:00

HERE TO INSPIRE: marry or keep searching: hello colleagues, you can now access my book, "marry or keep searching" on ebook format at amazon.com. its cheap and with information ...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

marry or keep searching

2012-10-19T03:48:00.004-07:00

hello colleagues, you can now access my book, "marry or keep searching" on ebook format at amazon.com. its cheap and with information important for your love life. it does not matter whether you are married, dating, confused or single..it applies everywhere

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=marry+or+keep+searching

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

HERE TO INSPIRE: We are products of our thoughts

2012-10-17T00:42:00.001-07:00

HERE TO INSPIRE: We are products of our thoughts: Flashing back to my olden days and trying to recall the ups and downs of life. I always keep asking myself, why the rich are rich and ...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

We are products of our thoughts

2012-10-17T00:39:00.001-07:00

Flashing back to my olden days and trying to recall the ups and downs of life. I always keep asking myself, why the rich are rich and why the poor are poor or why some of the poor eventually become rich and or why the rich become poor. Despite all the outstanding hurdles that surround us, there could be one major factor that not many people may take seriously.

a group of young people attending a public dialogue

While attending the face the citizens debate in hotel Africana, one of the musicians by the name of general mega Dee (not real names) who graced the function said that, “the world is a troop of people, the best thinkers occupy the best place” I certainly wondered how many people took him seriously or because he was shabbily dressed, his words came to pass.

The way we think determines the actions that we make and the actions that we make exactly portray what we do and what we are in our capacities. What thoughts always govern your mind, how do you think as an individual and how best do you utilize your thoughts?

Sometimes we dash into actions without being analytical and critical in our thoughts. Outstanding people in our communities are just not people who think big, but think and act outside the box. Your own thought can either make you not to believe in yourself or believe in what you feel you can do best.

I know that it is certainly not easy to match the standards of renown people like nelson Mandela, William Shakespeare, Karl max, Winston Churchill, Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, or young entrepreneurs like Wilson Tugume who have impacted the African continent with their programme “inspire Africa” to mention but a few. Of course, we can al not think of being presidents, social critics or renown writers, but our thoughts lead as where we think we can be and what we want to be when we are right there.

It is upon that that we are rational individuals should change the way we think and act or else we face the wrath of natures law of natural selection where the best adapted will strive and the less adapted shall be wiped out. Change the way you think today and you will have changed your life and the future to come. Be mindful of what you fill your mind with. Not anything that comes in to your mind is fit for your life. Behave and act like a sieve that sorts what should go through and what should remain.

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

EKAKS THE LAD: DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT W...

2012-08-15T03:01:00.001-07:00

EKAKS THE LAD: DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT W...: DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ALWAYS TAKE? Not very many hours ago, I attended a friend’s wedding ceremony. befo...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ALWAYS TAKE?

2012-08-13T06:41:00.002-07:00

DO WE UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ALWAYS TAKE?

Not very many hours ago, I attended a friend’s wedding ceremony. before the bride and groom arrived to wedding reception, my friend and i were in a jovial mood. smiling all over like it were the first time i had attended such a function. No sooner had the couple arrived than the crowd sprung to their feet t like soldiers ordered by their commander to fire at the enemy to welcome them. Initially, I was in the mood, but within a split of a second, the bright smiles in my face faded like a black t-shirt turning white in colour. something ran into my mind and reminded me about my relationship that was around two months old and already was in balance.

I got back to my seat and leaned on it as I reflected back on the cause of the misunderstanding. Well, how many people always look back to their past and assess how he/she acted towards the spouse and what the effects were? As I asked myself such a qauestion, something told me, how did you react and how did she react. Then I asked myself, for how long have these couple dated and did they have misunderstandings any way? I had no answer and decided to dwell on my relationship that could have culminated into such a function in the near future. I don’t mean it may not, if God says it will happen then it will.

Immediately I asked myself such a question, three or four things came to my mind. Firstly, communication. Secondly, respect. Thirdly, emotional control and tolerance.

It reminds me how after several attempts of requesting the person who claimed that she were with me in a relation to pay a visit to me, I lost my guts and was not ready for any sweet talk. At around 10:00pm, my phones makes the usual sound of lucky Dube
and for a while I was nodding my head. only To look at the phone, it was her calling and telling me how she was ready to listen to my quarrels and complaints. i wasn't prepared to listen to the cunning gimmicks that women always have. neither was I intending to talk too much or rudely, but seemingly uninterested in talking. Feeling unimpressed, she sent me a message and without thinking twice, I sent a hot belittling, hurting annoying message in return. Of course after sending, I felt like I had done what I had wanted.

Surely, I cannot tell whether she was using this avenue to test how I would react or she had made strategies to pull out of the relationship or she wanted to ascertain whether I really loved her or not? All those I cannot tell, but any person would ask him or herself why someone who resides just a few Kilometres away from you would not want to have time with you, but prefer calling you at calculated hours and when being called, she receives when he/she feels she wants to. Someone always tells you he/she is busy and yet the person passes just a few meters from your place of residence when to and fro his/her journeys and it really gives you to question whether he/she is always busy or just letting you to know that you are of no value?

However, I will not dwell on that and baring such in mind and how she responded to my harsh messages, I have myself to blame for the response that I had and that is why I would also like to ask anyone reading this article whether we always package our information properly or not? Communication and respect may not come good unless one is emotionally stable at the moment.

Emotions have killed people; emotions have destroyed relationships over small things that could have been rectified with time. After my actions, I started dancing to the tunes of my inconsiderate behaviour. I can’t deny that I am now on the bargaining side even when the counter messages could have been caused by her, but was it the best way I was supposed to have replied and did I think of the outcome or the feeling the other party would get?

Emotions make us to lose respect for ourselves and for the people with whom we relate on a daily basis or as strangers and that is exactly what is killing several relationships. Therefore, I think every individual in a relationship, be it marriage, courting/dating, friendship should get to assess themselves before blaming other people. We all have weaknesses and strengths, but that should not mean that we should use other people’s weaknesses to cover our own.

People will always want to have defense mechanisms in order to make themselves clean, but I do believe for one to stay in a healthy relationship, one should be in position to acknowledge their wrongs and ask for forgiveness. This does not make one lose his/her man hood or femininity.

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

EKAKS THE LAD: STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM

2012-03-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

EKAKS THE LAD: STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM: A right is that basic or permanent part of you that can never be removed. It is never bought or granted by the state or kingdom or cul...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM

2012-03-15T05:54:00.000-07:00

A right is that basic or permanent part of you that can never be removed. It is never bought or granted by the state or kingdom or culture. Freedom on the other hand is the right to do something or not to be controlled by someone else. The rights and freedoms of individuals and groups shall be respected, upheld and promoted by all organs and agencies of government and all persons. That is provided for in the constitutions of many countries and the 1948 UN declaration of international fundamental human rights and freedoms.

You have a right to life, you have a right to personal liberty, and you have a right to fair hearing and judgment. You have a right to privacy; you have a right to human dignity, right to Education. On top of that, you are to have freedom which includes the following: - freedom of conscience, expression, movement, religion, assembly and association.

Do not sit and watch your rights being infringed on and your freedoms abused. Stand up and say no to unjust practices in your vicinity for if you don’t, you may be suppressed, dominated, out competed and wiped out.

Let not that neighbour of yours with a fat abnormally big belly rebuke you when you are agitating for something right. Talk because you have the right and that the other person has no right whatsoever to distract your rights. Let not your neighbour play very loud music and you are not comfortable but just hear on. Talk and tomorrow you will have the peace of mind. Let not those colleagues of yours intimidate you because of your colour, origin, race, religion and others. That is prejudice and racism. Talk and rise against it because you have a right to belong where you want.

Successful people know their rights and freedoms and know how to use them better without infringing on other people’s rights. Knowing your rights and standing for them, creates an enabling and favourable environment. Never see something wrong going on and you keep quiet about it, you will be equally guilty for it. But remember in whatever you do with your rights, no one is above the law and ignorance of the law is no defence in court. Know what to do, where, how and why? Not just doing something because you have a right and freedom. Be careful, the law will squeeze you and you will have no breathing space. The power is in your hands to do what is right for you. Respect other people’s rights and freedom and you will be on the safer side of the law.

If you do not know your rights, you will be denied what would have helped you in your endeavours. You need peace, you need protection, you need knowledge, you need to feed and you need shelter.

Let’s learn to destroy that element in us that keeps us to fear. Let’s destroy that habit in us that make us see unjust practices and we keep quiet. Let’s kill that attitude in us that prevents us to talk when we are being unfairly handled. Do not get tired of talking, even if it is that police officer with a pistol, even if it is that neighbour of yours with an ocean of vehicles and you have a bicycle. Say no to corruption even if it is that father of yours who pays your fees and threatens to stop if you talk. Even if it is that Prime Minister, tell him it is unfair and that he/ she must stop. Even if it is that head teacher of yours who threatens to expel you if you question his/ her tendencies.

If we do that, we shall have better homes, we shall have better nations and we shall have a better world.

If you can sing lucky Dube’s songs for years and years, why can’t we talk about unfairness for decades and decades? Let’s talk and the perpetrators shall realize that there is something wrong that must be stopped. The slaves would not have had freedom if Marcus Gurvey had gotten tired of agitating for the rights of blacks living in western countries. Africa would not have had independence if the leaders we had then had kept quiet and shied away from seeking for what was right for them.

Let not that clumsy brother-in-law or sister-in-law of yours force you into sex; say not because you have a right to privacy. Let not that obese woman who claims to be your boss fondle you, she will infect you with incurable diseases and you will die. Let not that man next to you in the office entice you into sexual relation, your company shall realize and you will lose the job. Let not that lecturer of yours with unquestionable appetite for sex demand for your body, say no because you have paid tuition and it is his obligation to mark your papers. Let him not threaten to give you a retake because you have a right to fair judgment.

If you think that injustice is good for you, then support it and seek it, but if you think that injustice is an evil, then stand up strongly against it. “Our country, our lives, our world, our tomorrow”. Say no to unjust practices and we shall have a better tomorrow. A just and fair society

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"

EKAKS THE LAD: LEAD YOUR LIFE OR BE LED

2012-03-06T00:44:00.000-08:00

EKAKS THE LAD: LEAD YOUR LIFE OR BE LED: If you cannot lead life, then let others lead it, but ask yourself where will they lead it. We have all been in situations where you ...

"where there's always prejudice and preconceived bias, however much you try to be good, you will always be bad"