Elana's Musings

Standing Up

2011-12-26T19:49:00.002-05:00

I had I won a Flip video camera last December and left it brand new in the box the entire year. After yesterday's super blurry video taken by my cell phone, I decided to get it out of the box. I have a really nice video camera that my mom gave to me, but at the moment I'm not sure where the battery charger is...gotta find that. In the mean time, now I have a really small, simple video camera that I can hold in one hand and has no extra pieces to lose.

Anyway, I wanted to see if I could catch a video of Tzipora getting herself up to a stand, and I did! Enjoy.

Tzipora Cruising!

2011-12-25T22:20:00.003-05:00

Tzipora will be turning one in less than a week, and she *just* figured out how to pull herself to a stand. This is the second time I've seen her do it, and right after she stood up her toy scootched forward, and she just went with it. She'll be walking before I know it. YIKES!

It's Official!!

2011-12-25T02:40:00.004-05:00

I have an A for the semester!! I've successfully completed my first semester in nursing school and my 4.0 average is intact. *does a little jig*

In other news, I've taken up knitting as a hobby. I can do it while I read books and watch TV, so it doesn't take up any extra time. It also gives my arms a workout and I'm really proud of the things I've done so far. My first project was a scarf, and it took me over a month to do it because I used needles that were pretty small and yarn that was average sized. Next time I'll use big needles and thick yarn!! My second project was a baby hat, and it also turned out really well. That only took me two days to do. I'm already making my second one! I've opened an Etsy shop called The Knitting Midwife and put my first item in yesterday evening. Let me know what you think, and please add me as your favorite!

Pictures and Stuff

2011-12-13T20:22:00.003-05:00

First, the stuff. Tzipora waved at me for the first time today!! It was super cute. I waved at her and she waved back. I don't think the twins were doing it until well past their first birthday, so she's far ahead of them.

Dovid knows his left from his right. Twice now he's been holding one of my hands and then asked for the other one. For example I try to hold him with my right hand and he goes "no, I want to hold your left hand!" It's super adorable and shocking that he knows this kind of thing already.

My sister and brother-in-law came for a visit this weekend, so of course a ton of pictures were taken. Here are two slideshows of pictures taken by them. The eighth picture in the second slideshow is one of Dovid that looks like it could've been a picture of Shmuel taken as a little boy. In fact, I have a picture of Shmuel that looks almost exactly like it! It's a bit creepy... Enjoy!

Crawling!

2011-12-06T18:16:00.000-05:00

Slowly but surely Tzipora is learning to crawl forwards. She's been able to scootch backwards for a while now, but since she could get around pretty well that way she never really tried forward much. Just in the past few weeks she's become super mobile. She learned how to sit up by herself, so now I'll find her sitting in her crib after a nap. (Don't worry, I set the crib at its lowest.) She's also been trying to stand up, but she'll try from a sitting position and get herself into what looks like a "downward-facing dog" yoga pose. But just tonight I saw a real forward crawl - the way you picture babies crawling. The pediatrician was right! She said Tzipora would figure it out within a month to six weeks and she did! Yay!! She's getting to be such a big girl.

Stuff and Whatnot

2011-12-01T21:58:00.001-05:00

Do you remember my friend who got pregnant last April? Remember that she was pregnant with twins? Well she had her babies a few weeks ago!!! Her little girl just came home from the hospital today and her little boy will hopefully be coming home over the weekend. We are super excited for her!!!!!!!

Do you remember back last summer when we were supposed to be getting a new live-in? Well she finally recovered, and it turns out that she didn't actually bail on me without saying goodbye, but one of her friends was messing with me since she didn't want her to move to Boston. She's actually here now (along with a second au pair - I'm spoiled), and we are SO EXCITED!!! Both live-ins are fantastic, and the kids adore them.

And now for my awesomeness. I spilled water on my laptop the other day and thought I was completely done-for. So I ordered a new computer using my credit card reward points. But then I called Toshiba with a problem - a few of my letter keys weren't working since the water accident and I needed at least one of them cuz it's in my computer password. He showed me how to do that. Then I realized that maybe I could solve my letter problems by getting a new keyboard. So I ordered one. It arrived today, and I installed the keyboard all by myself!!!! I saved $100 doing that, and it wasn't too difficult, either. And it works! My computer is just as good as it was before the water thingy...and I'm still getting a new one cuz I can't cancel that order. Ahh well, there are worse things than a brand new computer!

Why Not To Teach Your Children That Mommy Kisses Cure All...

2011-11-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

First I want to apologize for being MIA for nearly two months. Life is crazy hectic around here with school, work and being sans babysitter every once in a while. But hopefully our babysitter issues will be a thing of the past starting next week! In any case, here is one reason why not to teach kids that Mommy Kisses cure everything...

Dovid has a diaper rash at the moment, and during his change this evening he was saying that it hurt. And then continued along with "Kiss it! Kiss it! Kiss my bottom!" Shmuel and I nearly died laughing. So there you have it...Mommy Kisses cure everything except diaper rashes.

On another note, I am still on my way to getting an A in my nursing class, even though the class average is about a 77. (You need a 75 to pass the course...anything below is an automatic fail.)

Nursing School & Being a Doula

2011-09-21T21:53:00.000-04:00

There's so much reading and memorizing that I feel as though nursing school is kicking my butt... However, so far I have passed every skills test on the first try, gotten 100% on my first two lab quizzes (the third one I messed up on, but so did almost everyone...luckily lab quizzes count for very, very little), and I got a 90% on my first exam!!!!! (The mean score on that first test was 80%.) I am really psyched, especially since the professor doesn't like me so much. See, I have to miss lab for the Jewish holidays and they had to make special arrangements for me to make up the lab time on other days. So that kind of turned the whole department against me. Then, when all heck broke loose earlier this week, I had to leave class right after the exam on Monday in order to get home to take care of the kids. She noticed I was gone and made a comment to the whole class today about "people leaving class early and thinking they don't notice". Yeah, I know that was totally directed right at me...but it was either that or my 2 1/2 year old twins are now in charge of the baby...not happening, not safe and illegal! Anyhoo, she can now eat it seeing as I got a fantastic score on the exam. I'm just going to prove her wrong all semester so she realizes that I'm a fantastic student. (I remind myself of my sister and a certain incident with a high school English teacher...ahh the memories!)

Now then, as for all heck breaking loose... Our fantastic day care provider is currently pregnant with twins and unexpectedly went on bed rest Monday morning. I had someone covering her for a few hours in the morning, but she was scheduled to come in to work in the late morning. But then she got admitted to the hospital! Oooooops! Our babysitter for the morning had a class (that she missed), so she couldn't stay too late, which is why I had to rush like mad to get home right after the test. Anyway, we found someone that evening to take over for our pregnant day care woman...who worked for a day and then said she got another job offer and was taking it. So she basically told us at 6pm that she could not work the following morning. OMG!!!!! That is not cool in the ultimate sense. So Shmuel had to stay home from work, pissing off his boss - who basically told him he is REQUIRED to come into work tomorrow or else. So we spent half the day today interviewing new candidates and B"H found someone who fits the bill. She has an agreement with us that we need at least a week's notice if she finds a new job, and we'll give her the same if we find a live-in.

Speaking about pregnant women, I had my first experience as a doula last Friday! My very first client gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. If I had any doubts about my choice of careers, they were all put to rest. I actually teared up when the baby was born, and I didn't even cry when my own daughter was put on my chest! It was so beautiful. If you are pregnant and live in Boston or know someone who is pregnant and lives in Boston, send me an email and I'll tell you all about what I can do to help during your birth. :-)

Kid Pictures

2011-09-18T23:39:00.000-04:00

Whenever my sister and brother-in-law come to visit, they always take tons of amazing pictures of the kids. I feel completely lazy in that I rarely ever take pictures of them, but anyway... Here's the album of select pictures from the visit, for those of you who don't read my brother-in-law's blog.

Before you enjoy these pictures, I just have to say that the second picture in the album took my breath away. Why, you might ask? Because my son is my husband's identical twin, apparently... Seriously, I need to scan and upload some of my hubby's pics from when he was a little boy and you'll do a double take as well.

Twins and Shoes

2011-09-14T19:06:00.000-04:00

My kids are the funniest, cutest kids around. The preface to this movie is that Dovid was asking Chana to take off his socks and shoes. She got one shoe off and then left the room. Dovid was just sitting, waiting for her to come back and finish the job. I knew this was going to be a "Kodak Moment," so I taped and was not disappointed. This video was taken on my phone, so it's not the best quality, but I know you'll like it anyway. Enjoy!

Video For Your Enjoyment

2011-09-02T14:06:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's been over 2 weeks since my last post. I've just been so busy doing nothing interesting that my blogs have been totally neglected. In any case, my mom is here for a visit with Ron and she brought with her a video she found stashed away in the house. It's a VHS that begins with a chorus concert from 1995. The conductor was my favorite teacher of all time, and I was super excited to get to see this. I burned it onto a DVD, converted it to mpeg and have uploaded it to YouTube for your viewing pleasure. I'm sure you'll be able to find me since I'm the shortest kid...and I'm standing in the back row!

T-Mobile...Not The Cell Phone Company

2011-08-13T21:41:00.000-04:00

That's my husband's joke, actually. He likes to refer to Tzipora as "T-Mobile" when she's moving around. And she's been doing a lot of that lately! No, she can't really crawl yet, but she scootches in circles on her tummy, and sometimes she'll even scootch backwards a little bit. I remember that Dovid scootched backwards on his tummy before he started going forwards, so I know it's just another step in the right direction. She also has begun to launch herself out of her Bumbo seat. I had her on the floor in her Bumbo earlier today and she had nearly turned herself around trying to reach something that was also on the floor...until she actually tumbled out of the seat onto her stomach. It looked perfectly orchestrated, she didn't hurt herself at all (she literally went right onto her tummy from the seat), and she was only moderately surprised that she found herself on the floor all of a sudden. It was really funny, although now I have to keep a *very* good watch on her in that seat, even when it's on the floor.

During this Bumbo seat mishap, I also noticed that she's getting the idea of object permanence, since she was looking to retrieve something that had fallen behind her.

Tzipora has also been making some Baby-Led Weaning progress. She's definitely eating some solids, as noted by her new poo consistency which always has little bits of whatever she's eaten in them, and she's getting loads better at putting food from the tray into her mouth...even if it means bending her head all the way to the tray and shoveling it in. lol I just need to think of some more good soft foods for her to try, since she still doesn't have any teeth. Some of the ones we've tried are cooked carrots, sweet potato and spaghetti squash. Any ideas for me?

As for the twins, their newest milestone is sitting at the table for meals. They're still in their booster seats, but instead of eating off of their tray they now sit right up at the table and have plates! They did really well on their first try of this, and I am so proud of them. They really are growing up!

Hippo Birdie Two Ewes...

2011-08-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

Well, really Hippo Birdie Two Mees, but that's beside the point. Today's my birthday...YIKES! Another year has gone by, and I don't know where the time went. It's been a crazy year with having the baby and being in school, but I've still managed to keep my 4.0 average. :-) We can't celebrate my birthday today because the fast day of Tisha B'Av starts tonight, and for the past 8 days we've been in a type of mourning because of the upcoming fast day. So my present (and cake) will just have to wait. Although my hubby was sweet enough to bake brownies for Shabbos in honor of my upcoming birthday. :-D What a guy! Speaking of such guy, here's a picture of something I consider to be my birthday present...

Déjà vu

2011-08-04T21:56:00.004-04:00

Here are all of the random things that have been going on lately:

First off, I'm really sorry I've been so bad about posting lately, but things got entirely messed up when the person who was supposed to be coming to live with us bailed. What a disaster! So we're still looking for someone to come and live with us...preferably someone who is honest and won't run away without saying goodbye.

As for the déjà vu, I have mastitis. :-( At the moment it doesn't seem to be as bad as when I had it with the twins, but it stinks nonetheless. I'm on antibiotics and will be taking tylenol round-the-clock to keep the chills and aches at bay. My mother-in-law is here this week, so she's a bit help and is teaching the twins to whisper because I'm not feeling well. It's super cute.

I finished my microbiology class on Tuesday evening, so I'm officially done for the summer. I'm almost 100% positive that I've pulled off another A, so I'm one class closer to valedictorian. :-) If I become valedictorian in two years, I will make sure that someone video tapes it so I can show you my speech.

I took my doula training class last week, so now all I need to do is attend births and I can get certified!! So if you live in the Boston area and are pregnant, get in touch with me so we can work together. :-) I have a whole doula bag full of labor supplies, and I'm also in the process of becoming Hypno-Doula certified with Hypnobabies. That means that I will be certified to work with women who are doing childbirth hypnosis of any type.

Tzipora had a visit at the Harvard Developmental Research Lab yesterday where they put on this cool electrode hat to measure the electrical impulses on her scalp while she watched a video screen. The study has to do with numbers and how infants process them. Isn't she a cutie?

So, now that you're all updated on my world, what's going on in yours?

Happy Blogoversary to Me!

2011-07-20T20:21:00.000-04:00

I almost forgot my own Blogoversary!! Yipe! I can't believe I've been blogging for 3 years...it's just unreal. My whole life has changed so drastically since that first post. I began posting as an infertile woman who didn't know if she'd ever get pregnant period, and now here I am a mother of three - one of whom was actually conceived naturally!! I've seen so many miracles since I began blogging, and I feel so fortunate to have the amazing family I've been blessed with.

Speaking of family...how about a few updates?

Tzipora has started baby-led weaning and is doing great! She's getting the hang of it much quicker than the twins did. She's had carrot and sweet potato...even some asparagus, although I don't know if she's actually swallowed any of that. She can now pick up carrots, bite off a little piece and swallow it. She doesn't do it all the time, but I've seen it happen.

I've been trying to have Tzipora practice sitting more, but she's not so good at it. She more just flops over. She'll sit fine in the Bumbo or if I prop her against the couch, but with no support she just goes "wheeeee!"

Chana and Dovid are cute as ever. They talk in full sentences, sing songs, love having us read books, and can't get enough bubbles. They also enjoy playing with water - provided it's nowhere near a bathtub.

We were supposed to have a new live-in helper come last week, but unfortunately she's sick in the hospital and we aren't sure when (if?) she'll be joining us. I'm super sad about it because she's such a sweetheart, and it pains me that she's been hospitalized for so long. We're all praying that she gets better really soon so she can get out of the hospital and, of course, come live with us.

I have just one more week of summer school and then I get a month break until nursing school starts. I'm really, really excited about it!!

How are things with all of you out there in bloggy-land? I've had a few of my fellow bloggers post BFPs and such relatively recently, so I know there are some of you out there with good news... I'd love to hear more good news in comments!

Summer Fun

2011-07-11T20:42:00.000-04:00

Summer fun? Riiiight. For me it's school and studying. Except for the project I did for my mom today. She bequeathed to me a business that she owned back when I was in middle school, since she hadn't really done anything with it since my father passed away. The business is called Names Unlimited, and I make personalized pictures. My mother ordered the one below for a new cousin.

My website isn't nearly finished, but you can at least peruse the different pictures by name. For example, this one is the Little Boy with Train. I just thought I'd share with you something crafty that I do. :-)

Cutest Baby Ever

2011-06-22T19:33:00.002-04:00

I finally figured out the reason Tzipora had been activating the pull cord on her bouncy seat with her feet rather than her hands. (You'll see what I mean in the pictures below...it's a ring attached to a lion that plays music when you pull the ring.) Anyway, this is something Dovid had figured out - to use his hands to pull the cord - when he was like 4 months old, and I realized that Tzipora just couldn't reach because the bar had been bent out of shape a bit. I knew that the cords looked really far away, but I hadn't realized that the bar was bent out of shape and could be moved back. So I bent it back, and BOY WAS SHE HAPPY ABOUT IT!! :-) Now she can reach with her hands, which she did immediately. You can see below that I have the cutest baby in the whole world...and I'm not biased one bit. (Click on each picture for a larger version)

Rolling Over

2011-06-20T16:38:00.002-04:00

Guess who rolled over from back to front for the first time today... Yup,it's Tzipora! She did it twice...both times when I was out of the room. Hopefully she won't start sleeping on her belly now...

2 Fandango Movie Tickets for $9

2011-06-10T16:39:00.001-04:00

Anyone out there planning to see Harry Potter next month? How about going to the movies and still having enough money left over to grab some popcorn?

LivingSocial's deal today is 2 movie tickets for $9!! That's a flipping steal for these days (when many tickets are $15+ for just one person). So go and see a movie, take a friend and have a great time! Just click here and enjoy!

Shalom

2011-05-30T21:24:00.006-04:00

For those of you who don't know what the Hebrew word shalom means, I'll explain it. Shalom literally means peace, although many people use it as "hello" or "goodbye," since you're basically wishing that person to have peace. Ever heard someone say "peace out" as a goodbye? Well this is the same idea.

In any case, I bring this up because I have been offered the proverbial olive branch by the family. They want shalom. They're not angry with me and hope I won't be angry with them any longer...and I think I can do that. All I wanted was to be appreciated and for my feelings to be recognized, and by this I think they get that. Now hopefully we'll be able to go back to how we were before things got out of control. I really, really hope so, because all this stress isn't good for anyone involved.

And on some completely unrelated topics...

The twins are now sleeping in toddler beds! Tonight we made the decision to take the railings off of their cribs because Chana was starting to try to climb out of her crib and we didn't want an accident. We installed a gate over their doorway so they can't get out, and we toddler-proofed their room as best we could. We plugged in the video monitor that my sister gave us for Chanukkah this past year so we can hear and see them, just in case they wake up before we do. Most likely that won't happen, but you never know. They were a bit cranky when they first realized that the railing was gone, but by the time the lights were out, they were mostly ok and Chana climbed right in.

Tzipora started laughing about a week or so ago, and it's so cute. She doesn't do it often, but if you tickle her chin/neck sometimes she'll give you a giggle. What a sweetie!! But she's still not growing as much as the doctor wants her to, and they're urging me to supplement with formula. I'm trying to only supplement her with the milk I pump and so far I haven't needed to pull out the formula. We'll see how this goes! We have another weigh-in in two weeks. *sigh*

I start school tomorrow. YIKES!!! Wish me luck for Microbiology this summer and a continuation of my straight A's. :-D

I have a special note to Auntie Beh who got injured while attacking the weeds outside Mom's house the other day. We hope that the doctor can de-thorn your "paw" and that you stop injuring yourself. :-) (Sorry, but when Shmuel told me you got a thorn in your hand it gave me a picture in my head of a dog or a bear with a thorn in its paw.)

I'm Angry and Depressed...

2011-05-28T22:48:00.005-04:00

I'm Angry and Depressed...

because no one would listen to me, and therefore a huge deal was made out of absolutely nothing.

because lashon hara was spread about me that was a lie.

for being blamed for something that was not my idea, my fault or my intention.

because my motives were completely pure.

because I feel (and others who I've talked to feel) that I did absolutely nothing wrong, even if others have misinterpreted my actions.

because some 60-year-old document is apparently more important than my feelings and all the good I do in my home.

because whatever was written in the document was not my fault in the least. I had no idea what was written there before I saw it, and I thought no one else knew as well.

because I called with the document expecting accolades for finding it, and instead I received a virtual slap in the face.

because I feel I should have received an apology saying that they were wrong for accusing me of publishing the document to a public website, when I did nothing of the sort. The document was ALREADY PUBLIC and I put it on a PRIVATE website.

because I’ve been picked on incessantly since Pesach.

because I don’t appreciate people second guessing my decisions about my own children and trying to run my life.

because they think they know what’s best for me.

because apparently being on the computer after going to school, getting all A's, going shopping for food and nursing the baby makes me lazy.

because they expect me not to talk about my feelings to my friends. I make sure everything is completely anonymous – NEVER lashon hara.

And the moral of the story is...

Please listen when someone is trying to tell you something! Read their emails in full and digest what they have to say. Take their calls and speak without arguing. Listen to what's being said, mull it over and then respond. No yelling, accusing or talking over the other person. And always return their phone calls. If they're calling, they obviously have something important to tell you.

Even if you don't think that what they have to say is important...most likely what they're trying to tell you is very important.

Even if you don't think what they'll tell you will change your mind...you just might be surprised with what they have to say, especially when they know exactly what the situation is and you are coming in as an outsider.

Try not to react (or overreact) to a situation without full knowledge of what's going on.

Always ask why! (Why did I send the document to X's email? Because X's mom said I should when I asked her. Why did I post the document to the website? Because I wanted the cousins to be able to see it. Why did I go looking for it in the first place? Because the cousins asked me to.) The answers might just explain the entire situation and make you go "Oh, ok! Nevermind, then."

Don't make judgments about people you don't know.

And, most importantly, don't ever speak lashon hara about anyone else. Even if if you think you're telling the truth, it still could be a lie. When in doubt, ask a rabbi and have the rabbi speak to the other party as well to get the full picture of the situation. If the rabbi only gets it from one ear, then he'll have a biased opinion and answer.

Thank You

2011-05-26T10:07:00.001-04:00

Thanks to all of the commenters for supporting me. That's why I have this blog, for support. Writing in a private journal is one thing, but a private journal can't give you a hug and tell you that you're right for feeling this way and that others are really being unrealistic and irrational. I've had requests from the previous parties mentioned to stop posting about the family, but I cannot and will not withhold my feelings from supportive parties. Yes, I get great support from my mom and my husband, but I need friend support as well, especially when things get really rough around here. I made a point not to use names or even to disclose what side of the family is causing this. Could be anyone, really! Could be first cousins, second cousins, or third cousins even! But I will not let anyone else tell me what to do or how to run my life. When I was told "get rid of your nanny," I put my foot down and said no. When I was told "get rid of that document," I acquiesced even though it was pointless, just to make them stop badgering me. (Didn't work...still got badgered!) When I'm told "stop posting about the family," I say don't read my blog if you don't want to know how I'm feeling. You don't read and absorb my emails, so why bother reading my blog? The point didn't get across in either way...

Anyways, I appreciate so very much the support from you guys but I would appreciate no name calling of my family in your comments. As angry as I am at them and especially knowing that they do read my blog, I can imagine it would really hurt their feelings to see some of the things you guys have called them. Thanks a million! The comments are like virtual hugs, and I need a lot of them right now.

The plus side is that all of this stress is causing me to lose weight...over 2 lbs in the last few days!

The Hate Spreads...

2011-05-25T19:11:00.000-04:00

Imagine my surprise when I get a call from the cousin's father...chewing me out. Complaining that I had found and posted this document. I explained to him that it was private, and he finally got it. Apparently X and X's mom BOTH think that I posted it on a public domain, expressed that to him and GAVE HIM MY FLIPPING PHONE NUMBER to appeal to me! Nevermind the fact that I took the document down last night... I've been sitting here fighting back tears/crying since he called. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. And all because X refused to read and understand my emails. So now I'm basically the black sheep of the family, except to the cousins who think I'm G-d himself (herself?). But at least he listened to what I had to say and said he would pass on the message to X and her mom, since they obviously won't listen to me. And by the end of our conversation he understood why I did what I did and how it wasn't as catastrophic as X made it out to be...although apparently I've now "created a maelstrom" in the family, to use his own words. What a disaster. I seriously want to crawl into my room and not come out for a month...

Family Feud - Take Two

2011-05-25T02:54:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought things were all back to happy and normal, once again I'm treated like the problem child...

I love to do genealogy, and my family tree is quite large (with a few famous cousins, I might add). I work on a specific website where you can link up with other trees and such. I invited several of my closer family members to the website so they could help me build, one of them being the person who isn't happy with me lately. For simplicity and anonymity sake, let's call her X.

A few days ago I linked up with some cousins on X's side of the family. These cousins and I have been emailing back and forth about a specific person on that side of the family (long since deceased) who they wanted more information on. I didn't readily have the information, but I'm very good at this kind of research and within the hour I had found a pretty incredible document which basically filled in the missing pieces. I was so excited about it that I called up X's mom and told her about it. She then told me I should email it to X. BIG MISTAKE! I also uploaded the document onto my genealogy website, but I did this privately, so that only family members with accounts on this website could see it. Keep in mind that I found this document on a public website within a half hour...

I get an email from the cousins practically kissing my feet. They were thanking me up, down and sideways about how amazing I am and how they're so happy we're connecting the cousins again, etc. etc. I felt all proud of myself that I had helped out the family so much.

Then I get an email from X, basically telling me that the document I found should never have been found, it's offensive and could ruin my life and my children's lives...and therefore I need to immediately remove it from the genealogy website and stop nosing around about this deceased person. I emailed back saying I was sorry I had offended her, but that I was just helping these cousins and that I wasn't nosing around any more. I found what they wanted and that was it. I also informed X that the document I uploaded was completely private and could not be found by anyone without having been invited by me to see it. Her response? Just remove it...and do it cuz the rabbis said so. She either hadn't read my email or had completely ignored what I had written. I removed it not because she asked, because removing it was completely useless if she's worried about people finding it, but just because I didn't want her emailing me complaining about it - and she did thank me for taking it down. I then proceeded to block her on the genealogy website so that maybe now she'll understand the meaning of private. Maybe when she realizes she can't see anyone's information in my family she'll get it... Now she can't edit any of the profiles that I manage, but unfortunately it also means I can't edit any of the profiles that she manages. Luckily I had already done my research on them and probably won't need to edit them.

Anyway, the whole thing was just completely ridiculous. The way she reacted to this document was so out of line. Yes, it had some disturbing information in it, and I can understand how it would have upset her, but so far she's the only person that's reacted at this level. Anyone who says their family doesn't have at least one skeleton in the closet is lying or in denial. And seriously, outside of the family who cares what happened to someone over 50 years ago that's not even a direct ancestor??? The cousins had no problem with it. They accepted it and moved on, saying they were going to say kaddish for him (that's a prayer for the deceased person's soul) and would dedicate a memorial plaque in their synagogue for him as well. They also want to try to find his grave so they can pay their respects directly.

So now I'm back to square one. I cancelled my special phone plan so that I could call X (and so that she could call us for free). She never used it to call before now, so it was really pointless in the first place, but that's beside the point. It's just so sad because this is a person I was willing to do anything to help get pregnant. I was willing to do a special IVF cycle and donate my own embryos to her, but the rabbi said it wasn't allowed. But now I'm wondering why I put in the effort.

If she's acting this way because she's jealous that I have children and she may never have children, I totally get that 100%. It's how I would feel in her situation. I'll tell you a little story to prove that, too. Back before I had the twins one of my good friends got pregnant with her 4th baby. I was so jealous that I was seeing green! I stopped going to her house on Shabbos, didn't call, didn't visit, etc. I just couldn't face her because I was so jealous that she could get pregnant so easily and I couldn't. I was afraid I'd say something or act inappropriately because of that jealousy. And I knew if I did go to see her and saw her big belly, I would go home and cry about it, bemoaning my childlessness. When she had the baby, I brought over dinner for them and met the little cutie. I even held her for a bit. Doing that started to chip away at the jealousy, although I was still pretty green. A few months later is when I got pregnant with the twins and no longer had anything to be jealous of. I was an awful friend to her during her pregnancy by being absent, but hopefully I've made up for it over the past 2 1/2 years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand if she's jealous but would rather her be completely absent with no communication rather than have animosity thrown at me when I try to be helpful. It's sad, because she always used to tell me how much she loves my kids and how much she misses them, but by alienating me she's risking her relationship with them! It's not like I'm going to fly my family halfway across the world to see her (it's crazy expensive anyway). And if she's reading this, I hope she realizes just how sad this whole mess has made me, but if I get stressed out and insomniac every time she emails me, I don't know what else to do.

(If you've read this whole post, I'm very impressed!)

Quick Post

2011-05-20T18:18:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to post something really quickly before Shabbos. According to one of the family members involved, no one is angry with me. Now, no one has called me since this all went down, but she relayed a message to me that basically said that she hoped I wasn't angry with anyone and that no one on her end was angry with me and it would be a shame for me to be upset. I have no reason not to believe her, but I think I'd feel a bit better if she'd call me like she used to.

In any case, nothing about the day care situation was mentioned, so I'm hoping that they've moved past it. I guess only time will tell. Have a Gut Shabbos!