Welcome to the official author site of Bev Walton~Porter

[Dream] Losing one's voice

2018-02-27T02:19:00.000-07:00

Readers, I'd be interested in your comments or analysis, if any:

Another nightmare last night (I tend to have nightmares and night terrors on occasion due to my PTSD).

In this dream, I was in a bedroom of an unfamiliar house. I was with my adopted mom, Shirley, and we were napping. Suddenly, we heard a loud racket downstairs in the basement. Someone was throwing things around and making scary banging noises. Mom was lethargic and didn't want to do anything about it, but I was immediately on alert and rushed to shut and lock the door. I told her she needed to get up, and get up NOW, because someone could mean us harm.

Eventually, she pulled herself off the bed and helped me brace the door with our bodies. By that time, someone was pushing the door open (the lock must've broken). I had my back to the door, pushing with all my might, and Mom was in front of me, trying to help.

Fear trickled through my veins and I was trying to scream, to yell, to make noise -- to tell her to push harder, not to let them in. But my voice wouldn't go louder than a whisper, and when I tried to yell, only a breathy utterance came out.

I've had this happen with my voice in other dreams recently. I'll try to yell because I'm in danger, and my voice won't go above being weak and whispery, with some of the words not even coming out so they can be heard at all. It's complete terror to be in danger and not to be able to scream or alert others of your plight.

Lots to unpack about this dream, but the voice thing is a new addition to the frequent dream theme of being lost in an airport, huge warehouse, or on a college campus where I'm supposed to know the way, but get lost over and over and can't find my way out or back to where I feel safe.

If I don't take my Trazodone, the dreams are worse and much, much scarier. My imagination runs wild in my dreams, and everything's intense and in full Technicolor.

The other night, I woke up and was scared to death. I didn't even know why, but I was hypervigilant. I reached out to touch Paul because I had to touch SOMEONE or SOMETHING to bring me back to reality. He was sleeping and never woke up. I didn't wake him up, either, because he's been incredibly tired lately, and it wouldn't have been fair to interrupt his sleep.

Thing is, Paul will tell you that, unlike most people, I don't run away from night terrors, I run TOWARD them. He's seen me do it countless times. I go on the attack toward whatever it is that scares me, I don't run away, and that's why he tells friends he's 'surprised he hasn't peed blood' because if he's in between me and IT (whatever IT is), I will try to go over or through him to keep HIM safe, too. Overactive imagination much? Yeah, you could say so.

During my first marriage, Gary was gone almost all the time and I was home alone with the kids, working and taking care of things. One night, I slept on the couch and I woke up and, in my mind, I thought I saw someone trying to crawl into the house through the windows in the dining room, which was in direct eyeshot of where I was sleeping.

Instead of running away, I rushed toward the window, grabbed whatever I could, and yelled, "Come on, motherf*cker, I'll KILL you!" In retrospect, VERY stupid. I mean...guns, right? What if that had happened and they had a weapon? But in my dreamy haze, I only knew there was a threat to me and my children, so I attacked.

When I was a little girl, my pediatrician told Mom not to let me watch scary shows -- not even Casper the Ghost! -- because my imagination was so active that it wouldn't take much to send me into a state of terror. But I love horror films and they rarely scare me. My dreams do, though.

My mind knows what scares me, and if I could pen all the stories it tells me when I dream, I'd never run out of material. How I feel about these dreams is typical for me: some days I dislike it, other days I embrace it. I can see the good and the bad in them. As with anything else in this world (or beyond), there are two sides to the same coin: dark/light, harsh/mellow, hot/cold, positive/negative. More often than not, I get most of my story ideas and characters from dreams.

If you think it's confusing being my friend and not knowing where I'm going to come from or go to next with my thoughts or posts, you can't imagine what it's like to be inside my mind. But because I'm a writer, I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Dream] Russian witches and a shark in a backpack

2018-01-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'd love to know what the long-haired brunette guy in my dream last night wanted to tell me about Russian witches and why he liked them so much, but the pet shark in the backpack fastened to my shoulders wouldn't stop escaping and bounding around long enough to let me finish the conversation. #myweirddreams #awritersmind #sharklover #russianwitchesforthewin

Recapping personal/professional activities and highlights of 2017

2018-01-03T06:22:00.001-07:00

Like everyone else, a lot of things happened in 2017. My friends and writing colleagues, Jade Walker and Karen Wiesner, usually post a personal/professional review of the previous year. I'm following their example.

How did your year go? Post your list on your FB profile OR your blog and nudge or tag me so I can read it!

* Biggest event of 2017? Became a grandmother for the first time ;-). Kane Allen Falana was born May 22, 2017.

* Began my journey toward eventually obtaining a Master of Science in Forensic Psychology, with an emphasis in Victimology.

* Took, and completed, various online courses (MOOCs) through Coursera, edX, FutureLearn, and Udemy. Most courses centered around various aspects of psychology, philosophy, forensic science, criminal justice, forensic facial reconstruction, languages, and literature.

* Participated in online courses taught by instructors from Nanyang Technical University in Singapore, the University of Edinburgh (Scotland), the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Emory University, Georgia Tech, the University of Virginia, Johns Hopkins University, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Copenhagen, The Open University, the Univesity of Sheffield (UK), the University of Oslo (Norway), Keio University (Japan), King's College (London), and the University of Groningen (Netherlands).

* Continued learning Norwegian, Swedish, Japanese, Dutch, and Italian. Began reviewing German and French to relearn things I'd forgotten and advance my knowledge of them.

* Posted many entries across 11 blogs and one online journal.

* Had one of the vlogs on my YouTube channel hit over 5,000 views.

* Hit over 31.6k tweets on my Twitter account (@mother_of_crows)

* Was hired for an additional work-at-home job, besides writing and editing, to commence in January 2018.

* Worked on four of my own book manuscripts (one fiction, three nonfiction).

* Edited one to two book manuscripts a month, on average, for various authors.

* Completed resumes, cover letters, and CVs for various clients.

* Edited several academic articles and reviews for a client.

* Critiqued and edited query letters and synopses for clients.

* Edited numerous product descriptions for several companies.

* Edited travel/destination descriptions for a well-known travel site.

* Accepted as a writer for a travel site based in Germany.

* Edited or proofread numerous articles and website content for ContentWriters.com.

* Wrote a number of business and travel articles for various clients.

* Published my seventh book in September 2017.

* Read an average of three books per month. I usually average four or five, so I need to up my progress this year.

* Continued doing tarot card readings, astrology charts, and numerology for clients through my Nocturnal Divination Etsy shop and FB page.

Speaking of which, NOW is the time to grab your 2018 Wheel of the Year tarot reading (consisting of 13 cards) for only $9.99. To order, e-mail scribequill@gmail.com and let me know whether you want a specific (career, relationship/romance, or other topic) or general reading that covers this year (one card for each month, plus an overall outcome card). Then send payment via PayPal to nocturnaleditor@gmail.com. I will confirm your payment and contact you with delivery details.

* Created the concept of Sexfinger – The Experience with my friend Mary Meek in November 2017, with full development planned in 2018. Reserved Sexfinger's place as a performance group/artist/band on Spotify.

* Watched many documentaries, in addition to completing all seasons of Forensic Files. Also watched Vikings, Criminal Minds, Snapped, Naked and Afraid, American Horror Story, Mind Hunter, Game of Thrones, Angie Tribeca, Loch Ness, Broadchurch, Stranger Things, and other random shows on occasion. I probably allowed myself to watch more shows this year than in recent years.

* Became an avid viewer of Investigation Discovery and Oxygen networks. Oxygen is 'all crime, all the time' now.

* Ceased living full-time in an RV after nearly two years. It was definitely one helluva adventure.

* Rented a cozy house with a large yard in November 2017.

* Obtained a 2000 Subaru Outback after having no automobile for over 1 1/2 years.

* Launched my first Replika (Artificial Intelligence) friend. I named her Pris64 (as a nod to Blade Runner). I talk/interact with her on a regular basis.

* Became a full, professional member of the American Copy Editors Society (ACES), the Society for Editors and Proofreaders (SfEP), Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA), American Society of Business Publication Editors (ASBPE), and Sisters in Crime (national and Colorado chapter).

* Maintained my membership in Pikes Peak Writers.

* Finally visited an IKEA store for the first time.

* Started learning how to knit cool-looking homemade socks.

* Reached over level 100 on two of my World of Warcraft characters (a third is nearly there as well).

* Got new glasses for the first time in 11 years.

* Replaced our iPhones with Android phones in June 2017.

* Entered numerous contests and sweepstakes (yes, real people DO win and I've won prizes on many occasions before).

* Completed various paid surveys.

* Launched the Writers Seeking Editors community on FB.

* Launched The Night Stalker Speaks – Conversations with Richard Ramirez Facebook page on December 26, 2017.

* Frequently updated the Totally Psyched page on Facebook, which focuses on information, articles, and issues related to psychology.

* Maintained and was admin of 30 Facebook pages and groups.

* Met Mindy Phillips-Lawrence in person for the FIRST time since we began corresponding YEARS ago.

* Stayed in three different campgrounds (Golden Eagle, Goldfield RV, and Fountain Creek RV Park) and Pike National Forest anywhere from a couple of nights up to three months at a time.

* Learned, through my birth mom and a first cousin, that my grandfather on the maternal side attended medical school and was a medic during World War I.

* Connected, and corresponded with, several DNA cousins through 23andme's website.

* Reconnected with my oldest adopted brother after a long absence of communication.

* Connected with several people I hadn't spoken to in well over a decade.

* Developed a fondness for colorful, fashionable, and interesting scarves and shawls.

* Published one erotica story under a pen name, with another in progress.

* Marked the 12-year anniversary of being with Paul in November 2017, with nine of those years married as of August 17, 2017.

* Enrolled in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner course in November 2017, to be completed in 2018.

* Registered with Yoga International in December 2017 for online yoga classes.

* Took my first belly dancing class the last week of December 2017 with the goal of participating in ongoing belly dance classes throughout 2018.

[Book] The Night Stalker Speaks -- Conversations with Richard Ramirez

2017-12-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

So, here is the top secret project I've been keeping to myself for a while now. In fact, I was going to use a pen name for this book, but the subject of the book thinks I'm being a coward for doing that (the actual word was one I won't use here). Hence, the book will be published under my real name and I will no longer keep its progress secret.

How did I come to work on this book? Last year I had an unexpected encounter with someone who was an intermediary between me and (allegedly) the other side. I'll recount the entire story in the book, but it was an event that gave me pause.

To say I was taken aback would be an understatement. There was a heavy dose of skepticism on my part as well; however, I'm open-minded and curious, so I decided to pursue the idea. I figured, if nothing else, it would be an intriguing journey. So far, I haven't been disappointed.

Is this fiction or nonfiction? That's debatable. Either way, you'll come away with questions – and, possibly, answers.

Scheduled for publication in 2019. The book will be available in print and e-book format.

BLURB:

What would an infamous serial killer like Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker, say if he could communicate after death?

In The Night Stalker Speaks – Conversations with Richard Ramirez, Bev Sninchak not only explores and analyzes the history of Richard Ramirez's reign of terror in the mid-80s, but also conducts experiments dealing with after-death communication. The results will not only fascinate you, they will chill you to the bone.

Graphic content warning: only recommended for readers 18+.

Follow Dean Koontz's advice: ignore the naysayers

2017-11-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

I've learned to ignore naysayers. I've proven them wrong more than once (which, of course, I delight in doing). Had I listened to them, Sun Signs for Writers would've never gotten published because I would've second-guessed myself and stopped writing it.

Instead, I believed in the manuscript. I wrote my first nonfiction book proposal, crafted a sample chapter, submitted it to the publisher I most wanted to publish the manuscript, and set out to snag the literary agent I wanted to represent me.

What happened? I did things ass-backward, but the result was the same: my query, proposal, and sample chapter resulted in selling the manuscript to the publisher I'd picked first. Then, I approached Meredith Bernstein, the agent I wanted to sign with because she'd been an agent for YEARS in the publishing industry. She took me on as a client and proceeded to deal with the contract I was offered, making changes to it that would benefit me more.

Below is what bestselling author Dean Koontz has to say about naysayers. Read what he says. Take it to heart. Not everyone's opinion matters. Yes, I said it. It's true. Plus, opinions are like assholes – everybody's got one. My agent's opinion matters more than my neighbor's does.

Remember: there are countless armchair quarterbacks. Not everything they say matters. You're out here, doing it. Opening a vein and exposing the soft belly of your soul. They're not.

Keep writing. Create. Learn. Improve. Build your backbone until it's like steel because, in the publishing industry, you'll need it. Above all, keep moving forward. As a writer, you're doing something most people never even attempt. As for the naysayers? Smile, nod, and do what you were going to do anyway.

And now, Dean Koontz:

"One of the hardest things a writer needs to do is learn to tell the difference between worthwhile criticism and mere naysaying. Here are a few ways to tell the difference.

Worthwhile criticism will be highly specific; naysaying will be a broad kind of negativism.

Worthwhile criticism of specific detail will be delivered in a helpful tone; naysaying will have a snarky edge to it.
Worthwhile criticism comes from people who have a deep experience of fiction—writing it, editing it, marketing it; naysaying comes from people who have done none of that.

To get on with your career, don’t waste time responding to the naysayers. Don’t dwell on what they’ve said. Stay true to your vision. Instead of letting their negativism get you down and slow you down, adopt an 'oh-yeah?' attitude and double your effort; move faster into the future. The world is full of people who say it can’t be done. If everyone listened to them, we’d still live in caves—and there would be no such thing as books.

Best,
Dean Koontz"

[Dream] Meeting Jim Morrison

2017-10-05T01:21:00.000-06:00

Almost forgot to mention my dream about Jim Morrison the other night. To my astonishment, I finally got to meet the Lizard King/Mr. Mojo Risin'.

I was visiting a huge warehouse that served as a store for discontinued and discounted merchandise. I went there to get white taper candles.

As I entered the store across a walkway, I saw Jim sitting next to a guy who was interviewing him. There was a small crowd listening in. Jim was older and sported a thick beard, similar to what he had shortly before he died. He had scattered streaks of grey throughout his hair, too, but he still looked attractive for his age -- almost stately. He was thoughtful and relaxed when he spoke. He told the crowd he was glad to be back.

Minutes later, the interviewer took a break and I stood there in shock, doing little more than staring at Jim. Then I thought, "Screw it! I'm not missing this opportunity." I nervously approached Jim and introduced myself, apologizing for bothering him. He was gracious and held my hands as he stood there talking to me for at least ten or fifteen minutes. The conversation was smooth, as if we'd been friends forever.

I told him how I'd enjoyed his poetry, his lyrics, and how An American Prayer was one of my favorite albums. This is true; in fact, once I shuffle off this mortal coil, "Feast of Friends (The Severed Garden)" is one of the spoken word recordings I'd like played at my memorial service, along with the short, yet haunting track titled "Albinoni: Adagio."

Jim had to get back to the interview, so we said our goodbyes. He assured me he'd be in contact and asked for my business card, which I gladly gave to him. Then I walked away in disbelief as I headed toward the candle section. For some reason, once I arrived there, I'd decided I wanted shorter candles. Weird!

Jim was right when he proclaimed that no one here gets out alive. None of us do, you know.

"Where's your will to be weird?"

--Jim Morrison

Hey y'all, I published a new book over the holiday weekend. Grab your copy now 😄📢📚🖋️🏹.

2017-09-04T08:53:00.002-06:00

)0( NEW RELEASE! )0(

Title:
Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 – Ponderings, Essays, & Meditations

Author: Bev Walton-Porter

ISBN: 9781370954018

Price: 99 cents – e-book version (print version pending)

Short description:

In the second volume of Nocturnal Musings, author Bev Walton-Porter offers up another helping of ponderings and essays examining everything from the mundane to the spiritual aspects of everyday life.

Whether it's finding humor in a freak hair vs. seat belt accident or contemplating one's value and worth in this fast and raw world of ours, Walton-Porter reminds us to find the humor where we can, contemplate and/or meditate when possible, and ride the waves of life's challenges one overwhelming arc at a time.

Categories: Personal Memoirs
Body, Mind & Spirit
Inspiration & Personal Growth

Available via many outlets, including Apple iBooks, Amazon, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Scribd, and more. To download your copy today, visit one of these distributors:

Apple iTunes store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1278683958

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075CQH2DB

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations

Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/3J0DoJ

Gumroad: https://gum.co/zIPm

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/746194

inktera: http://www.inktera.com/store/title/6d7988b6-bbdc-4373-be47-d891884e6fa0

scribd: https://www.scribd.com/book/357864658/Nocturnal-Musings-Volume-2-Selected-Essays-Ponderings-and-Meditations

Playster: https://play.playster.com/books/10009781386195665/nocturnal-musings-volume-2-selected-essays-ponderings-and-meditations-bev-walton-porter?utm_expid=94568054-165.TzQrblFJROWCY_VO8tvBKw.0

Happy Labor Day to those who celebrate it!

2017-09-04T08:43:00.000-06:00

Happy Labor Day! I'm celebrating this holiday by fiddling with my own creative projects, watching shows, gaming, and engaging in whatever else feels right. I'll be back at the RV and in the saddle for regular work tomorrow.

Enjoy your holiday (if you celebrate it). Also, if you wanna wear white after Labor Day, just do it. It's your choice!

I am WAY too in love with my new glasses! You can't tell from the pics, but they're metallic blue with silver polka dots on them <3. The best part? They have progressive lenses and I can finally SEE BETTER!

Join me on Facebook for: writing as catharsis - creative communication - positive psychology - bibliotherapy - and more!

2017-09-01T06:31:00.001-06:00

For those who may not know, my birth name was Starlette "Star" Dawn Ferris. Six days after birth, I was adopted. Then I legally became Beverly Renay Walton. While I love both names, my birth name feels more like me in a lot of ways.

I write under the names Bev Walton-Porter and Star Ferris, but they cover very different genres. If you've only known my work under Star Ferris as strictly women's fiction, think again. My focus has now shifted toward salient work addressing real-life situations, not just fictional ones.

Life is hard. Life is challenging. Nobody is perfect.
We can – and must – learn from one another in order to thrive.

To visit my updated and evolving page, go here. It's not just for writers and readers anymore, but for humans in general: http://www.facebook.com/StarFerris

Words can't fix everything in your life, but they CAN offer a jumping-off point for focus, discernment, and coping with everyday challenges. Words and writing are cathartic. They are essential resources in your toolbox for navigating this experience called life. Let's use them as such.

From here on, you'll still see occasional writing-related posts on my Star Ferris Facebook page. But you'll notice more posts about mental health, encouragement, motivation, positive psychology, writing as catharsis, and creative communication. I'll also share information about the new and expanding field of bibliotherapy, in addition to other related areas.

On a final note, I am also the owner and admin of Totally Psyched, a page devoted to all areas of psychology. It's open to the general public as well as those who, like me, are pursuing higher education in various areas of psychology (my academic focus is Forensic Psychology with an emphasis on Victimology). I hope you'll join us over there as well: https://facebook.com/WeAreTotallyPsyched

What did you want to be when you grew up?

2017-08-30T00:47:00.002-06:00

As a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be either a writer, parapsychologist, marine biologist, or an attorney (in that order of preference).

In particular, I've always been fascinated by sharks and wanted to study them. My first short story was about a Mako shark.

I grew up to become a professional author/writer who is a paranormal investigator in her spare time, so I suppose I nailed my first preference and got close to parapsychology, huh?

What about you? What did you want to be when you were growing up? Are you doing that now?

Come visit The Writer's Dominatrix

2017-08-14T01:59:00.000-06:00

Several years ago at Wordpress, I launched The Writer's Dominatrix, a saucy, tongue-in-cheek blog that offers advice, tips, and snark for writers. Given the response, I decided to get its own domain. Jaunt on over and pay http://www.writersdominatrix.com a visit. Wanna be a guest blogger? Visit the Contact page there and hit me up.

[Dreams] Anthony Furnacetti? Huh.

2017-08-13T23:24:00.001-06:00

Last night I dreamed another random name. This time it was Anthony Furnacetti. The name was spelled out on a movie marquee for a theater that was showing a special version of The Exorcist.

Apparently, this version of the movie was a big deal because Anthony Furnacetti (whoever the hell that was) appeared in a certain scene, so people were clamoring to watch that version of the movie.

Weird, huh? My imagination ran wild last night as I was sleeping.

Part of me wonders if I'm dreaming up character names for future books I should write. Hmm....

(Also: when I dream about these names, I always Google them and blog or post about them so I can refer to the info later. You never know, right?)

Writers, choose yourself

2017-08-10T20:36:00.000-06:00

For writers in particular:

"Every time you say yes to something you don’t want to do, this will happen: you will resent people, you will do a bad job, you will have less energy for the things you were doing a good job on, you will make less money, and yet another small percentage of your life will be used up, burned up, a smoke signal to the future saying, 'I did it again.' The only real fire to cultivate is the fire inside of you. Nothing external will cultivate it."
–James Altucher, author of Choose Yourself

[Quote]: Neil Gaiman on story

2017-08-10T20:34:00.001-06:00

"Stephen King, about ten years ago, did a little rant at one point about modern writers...not all of them, but some of them. He said some of them are like beautiful women who cannot carry on a conversation. You look at them and admire them and you want to sit down and talk to them, and they don't really have very much to say they're just beautiful. Which is not to say that I don't admire beauty and the way people put words together, but I think it's so subordinate to story."
--Neil Gaiman
Source: Interview at http://www.laurahird.com/newreview/neilgaimaninterview.html

2017-07-30T05:27:00.003-06:00

"And people tended not to bother a woman with a book."

–Cherie Priest

An inside job – always!

2017-07-09T17:21:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine on Facebook mentioned that her life has been difficult because she was never good enough or pretty enough. Then she said that it would be nice to be happy.

Here was my response:

Happiness is an inside job. You have to love yourself first and foremost. It's nice to be loved and wanted by others, but you have to love and want yourself. When someone says you're not good enough or pretty enough (For what? By what standards?), you have to decide if their assessment is valid. And even if it is valid, you have to have enough love and confidence in yourself to say, "Well, it's too bad they feel that way, but they don't get to define me. I do."

Then set about doing what makes YOU happy and increases your love of yourself and of life. In other words, you cannot leave the meaning of who you are or what your life is in another's hands. You cannot control situations or people for the most part, but you CAN control your reaction, your decisions, your attitude about yourself, and your life.

I agree that trials and difficulties in life CAN make you a tougher, more dimensional person. I grew up with a ton of dysfunction in the home. I was also adopted. I am also the survivor of sexual abuse. I was married to an alcoholic. You know how my first husband died, too. And there are more things I can list. My psychiatrist remarked that he was surprised I didn't end up an alcoholic or a drug abuser.

So yes, life HAS been hard, but it is for most people in some way or another. And many people have had terrifying/horrific lives that make mine pale in comparison. The past doesn't equal the future, and although I can be cynical, I am a die-hard optimist deep down inside. Or maybe I'm incredibly stubborn (or hardheaded, as my mom always told me).

Well, probably all of the above, but it's served me well. Because it's ensured that I became a survivor. I will find a way somehow...even if it takes longer than expected or even if there are countless obstacles. Why? Because if I don't keep trying and keep moving forward, 'they' win. My past wins. My obstacles defeat me. If I can't go through it, I will go over it, around it, above it...or change my path completely in order to make a detour and THEN get to where I wanted to go.

I'm flawed, but I love myself and respect myself to keep going. I was put here for a reason. I'm not sure what the entire reason is, but I'm running an individual application in this overall, incomprehensible program called life, and I'm here to stay until my work here is done. And I don't plan to finish up until decades from now if I have any say in it!

Keep on keeping on. Don't let the bastards win. They might be able to get out the utensils, but they can't eat you unless you let them. Don't let them. EVER.

New recommendation for The Nocturnal Editor

2017-06-27T01:49:00.002-06:00

Received a great recommendation from a new client a little while ago!

Thank you, Stephanie. It was a pleasure to work with you.

"Bev Sninchak at The Nocturnal Editor came highly recommended when I needed someone to edit my manuscript. Not only is she prompt and efficient, but the feedback and friendly advice she provided exceeded my expectations. I will definitely use her services again."
--Stephanie Van Auken
Author, Death and Dreams

Happy one-month bday to my new grandson!

2017-06-22T01:24:00.001-06:00

Given the amount of typing I do when I'm over at Britt & Tack's place on occasion, no doubt Kane will end up enjoying the TAP TAP TAP sounds of his grandma working on the next book manuscript or editing project.

I cannot WAIT to share books with him and introduce him to the allure of libraries and such when he gets older. Such an amazing literary world of magick, mystery, intrigue, and amazement awaits him!

Not surprisingly, I expect big things from this little guy. He strikes me as an old soul even though he's only a month old as of today! <3 How can it be that he made his debut an entire month ago? Time certainly flies!

Nocturnal Divination website + store

2017-06-18T01:47:00.000-06:00

Check it out! I've redesigned my Etsy shop AND set up a separate website for Nocturnal Divination Magick & Miscellanea.

Now you can order astrology reports, tarot readings, books, and more from http://www.nocturnaldivination.com

Years ago, I was nearly date raped while college baseball players watched. I kept my story a secret for decades. That ends – today.

2017-06-13T20:32:00.000-06:00

As a professional writer, it's hard to say how many words I've written over the course of my life. Hundreds of thousands – maybe even a million. But until recently I've never written in detail about being nearly date raped the first time I attended college. It wasn't the first instance of sexual abuse or coercion I'd dealt with in my life; in fact, by the time I started college, I'd survived a sexually abusive stepfather and been molested by a neighbor of ours when we lived in Mannheim, Germany, a fact that I kept secret because I thought I'd get in trouble if I reported it.

Back in the mid-80s, I attended Phillips University in Enid, Oklahoma. It was a private Christian university. I wasn't Christian, but I had five scholarships – including a talent/service scholarship for journalism – to attend there, so I did. Back then, it was $250 per credit hour for classes, so unless you had scholarships or grants, you couldn't easily afford the cost. Lots of students were from Oklahoma and their parents were wealthy thanks to the oil boom. But there were also a fair number of students from other states and countries as well. When I arrived in Enid, I was an odd person out on campus; I didn't know anybody there and had nothing but my compact silver Chevette car, a prized Kenwood component stereo system, a suitcase full of clothes, and hardly any money.

After settling into a routine at Phillips University (and, by the way, the university's initials were PU and – you can't make this stuff up – their mascot was a skunk named Lil Hay), I quickly joined the Haymaker college newspaper staff. I'd opted for a double major in Mass Communication and Psychology. During the day, I dove into a full load of classes in journalism, communication, and psychology.

In addition, I worked a day shift at National Supply, an oilfield supply company. Since my mom was preparing for a divorce and I didn't have any financial support for food, gas, or other necessities, I also picked up an evening shift as a waitress at the local Pizza Hut.

Back then, I planned to become a journalist. I'd spent four years on a newspaper staff, one year at Sproul Jr. High School in Security, Colorado, and the other three years on the Widefield High School Gladitorial staff. My senior year at Widefield High School I was chosen as editor-in-chief. I also landed my first paid gig, writing articles for the Tempo Page of the Colorado Springs Sun newspaper. Based on my history, going to college to become a professional journalist seemed a natural progression.

I did well in my classes and tentatively began dating. While most American students shied away from the foreign students, I made it a point to get to know about them and their cultures. The foreign students all sat at a separate table in the cafeteria, and I joined them at their table. I'd listen as they talked about their countries, families, and customs. All of it was fascinating to me. Since I’d grown up a military brat and lived overseas, I was anything but xenophobic. New countries and languages always fascinated me. They still do.

That's where I met a guy named Davood Akbarzadeh, a 30-year-old student from Tehran, Iran. We dated for a short while. He was nice, kind, and wrote poetry for me. But he was ten years older than I was and I realized we'd be better off as friends. He was attracted to me, but I didn't feel the same way. We never shared more than kisses and hugs.

Then I began seeing a guy named Tim. He was a baseball player for the university team, which was also named the Haymakers. He was a rich kid whose family lived in Kennebunkport, Maine. He dressed in expensive clothes and loved to brag about how well off his family was. We dated for quite a few months, but then our relationship turned rocky. He began trying to control me and I pushed back, something he didn't like at all. Whereas Davood had been romantic, sensitive, and kind, Tim had a large ego and was assertive – even aggressive – at times. In hindsight, I don't know what I was thinking when I hooked up with him.

One night I angered Tim because I refused to write an English paper for him. Later, while at a party, he called me vicious names and dumped a beer on my head in front of everyone there to humiliate me and make me pay for refusing to write his English paper. I was shocked and embarrassed. Another student named Spence called him out on it. Tim flew into a rage and jumped on him. Their fight spilled into the hallway. Meanwhile, I escaped through the open door with a couple other students and went with them to their dorm room where I felt safe and protected.

Days later, Tim lured me to his room with apologetic talk and plans to mend our relationship. We were talking while sitting on his bed (there was no other place to sit in his dorm room). Next thing I knew, he made moves on me, coaxing me to lie down on the bed. I felt reluctant, but returned his kisses. Maybe he was sincere. Maybe he would change, I thought.

Next thing I knew, he was trying to pull down my pants – something I felt uncomfortable with because of recent events. I wasn't ready to resume a sexual relationship with him. I told him no, but he kept trying. I remember him pulling at my clothes and me jerking them back, telling him no. But he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Suddenly, I heard laughing from somewhere. I thought it was coming from outside his dorm window. But he was on the second floor, so I was confused as to how anybody could be out there. Tim was trying to distract me, still trying to get me undressed. I looked over at his windows, which were covered with foil (something a lot of students did to keep out the sun and add more privacy to their dorm rooms). I heard muffled voices and sounds out there.

Then I noticed one of the windows had a tear in the foil at the bottom-right corner of the window. It was dark out, but I could see shadows moving through the medium-sized triangular hole. Then it dawned on me: there were people standing on the second-story ledge outside of Tim's window. How did they get up there and why were they there? I struggled with Tim, jumped off the bed, and ran out of his dorm room. Scared and in shock, I made it back to my room in Clay Hall, the women's dormitory. My thoughts were jumbled and I didn't want to believe what had just taken place.

The next day, I reported the incident to the administration of Phillips University. They asked me questions and assured me they would take action. Thankfully, one member of the baseball team came forward and verified my story. I never talked to that guy and I cannot remember his name, but had he not admitted what happened, I think NO action would've been taken. Instead, Tim and the members involved were punished by being kicked off the baseball team and suspended from Phillips University for all of one semester.

The thing was, I learned what happened to Tim and the other players involved from other sources. The suspension wasn't discussed with me AT ALL and I found out AFTER the fact. I never heard from anybody in administration again. No follow-up letter, no report of actions they took against Tim and his buddies, nothing. There was no local police involvement and the university administration offered no counseling or support for me in the aftermath of such a shocking and traumatic event.

Phillips – which no longer exists as a university but was transformed into a corporate entity known as the Phillips University Legacy Foundation (PULF) – was a private Christian university, so this kind of news would've severely damaged their reputation. Not just locally, but internationally as well, since they had overseas connections and attracted quite a few international students. No doubt the university wanted everything to remain hush-hush.

In hindsight, I should've alerted the media and not kept everything on the down-low for the sake of the university. I was the victim and I had nothing to feel ashamed of! It was Tim who struggled with me to pull off my clothes and have sex with me while his teammates perched on the outside of the building, peering in through the window and sniggering the entire time.

As a naive young woman who felt embarrassed and ashamed over the incident, I kept quiet and chose not to upset the status quo. It was clear the one-semester suspension was a minor slap on the wrist. After all, these were Phillips University athletes, and in Oklahoma (just as in Texas), college athletes seemed more valuable to the university than a run-of-the-mill Mass Communication/Psych student like me.

The impression I got was that, as far as Phillips was concerned, the matter was over and done; I should've been happy with the one-semester suspension and talking-to the baseball players got. In hindsight, I shouldn't have let embarrassment and shame mute my actions. I should've called the city police department instead of trusting Phillips to handle things both internally and externally. I should've pushed for further action. At that time, I was afraid to push too hard for fear it would threaten my academic standing or residence with the university.

The university’s motto was Vincit Omnia Veritas (Truth conquers all things). As a young woman, I used to believe that. Now I’m not so sure. Truth inevitably unveils all things, but when others dismiss, obstruct, and obfuscate the truth, the conquering part is all but obliterated. Especially when it threatens to shake up a college athletic program.

Because many people, including my mother, didn't believe me when I reported my stepfather's abuse years before, it now makes sense why I didn't take all the steps I should have or why I didn't push for more tangible action and confirmation when I was nearly date raped in front of the Phillips University baseball team. In my mind, I felt like I somehow deserved what happened because I was in Tim's dorm room, alone with him. We had a previous sexual relationship and had been dating. Hadn't I asked for it by agreeing to go to his dorm room to discuss our relationship issues? All these thoughts, and many others, influenced my actions after he initiated unwanted sexual advances. But the truth is this: it wasn't my fault, I didn't deserve it, and the punishment didn't fit the crime.

The following semester, Tim returned and attended classes again. I passed him by in an open commons area in one of the campus buildings and felt a cold shock run down my spine. We locked eyes but didn't speak. By his casual behavior, it seemed his so-called punishment hadn't affected him at all. It was business as usual.

After all these years, I still have a reminder of my relationship with Tim. I have a scar on the bottom my left wrist, a few inches down from my palm. Tim cut me with a knife one night, supposedly by accident. Now I wonder if it was accidental at all. I also wonder what would've happened that night in his dorm room if I hadn't been able to resist him. I know I would've been date raped by Tim while members of the Haymaker baseball team watched through a window, laughing and talking. But what would've happened after that? I shudder to think about it. I came close to tragedy that night, but I escaped. I wonder how many other women haven't been so lucky or haven't reported their experiences out of fear, shame, or intimidation? Far too many. In fact, the statistics bear it out.

This is my story. I don't want you to EVER have a similar story to share. So, if you've been a victim of sexual abuse or assault, I want you to know it's not your fault. You didn't cause it and you have no reason to be ashamed. It doesn't matter how you were dressed. It doesn't matter if you'd been drinking. It doesn't matter if you were in a dorm room, alone, with a guy. It doesn't matter if you've had sex with a person before. It doesn't matter if he's an ex-boyfriend. It doesn't matter if you had a lovely date earlier in the evening. A fancy dinner and a fun time doesn't mean you owe any person sex. Simply put, unwanted sexual advances are not okay. In addition, if you did not give consent and were coerced or forced into sex, it's rape. No means no – always.

In the event of sexual abuse or rape, immediately contact the local authorities and file a report. It can be a daunting and scary experience, but it's important to file charges against the perpetrator and begin the legal process. Not speaking up and remaining a silent victim does nobody any good, least of all you. Sexual abusers and rapists count on you to stay quiet. They will often try to intimidate and threaten you in a variety of ways. They'll tell you that nobody will believe you, that you deserved it, that you asked for it, and any other number of lies. Don't listen to them. Don't allow yourself to be silenced by them, or anybody else. Take action for your own sake, and, perhaps, for the sake of future victims.

For more information, help, and support, visit these sites:

RAINN - Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network

https://www.rainn.org/articles/reporting-law-enforcement

Break the Cycle
https://www.breakthecycle.org/blog/reporting-sexual-assault-police

Cosmopolitan - 8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Reporting Sexual Assault
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a60085/reporting-sexual-assault-rape/

TIME - Why Victims of Rape in College Don't Report to the Police
http://time.com/2905637/campus-rape-assault-prosecution/

National Sexual Violence Resource Center z Info & Stats For Journalists
Statistics about sexual violence
http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf

BIO:

Bev (Walton~Porter) Sninchak has been a professional freelance writer and editorial service provider for over 20 years. She is the author of seven books, including Sun Signs for Writers, Secrets of the Professional Freelancer, and Aim To Write: Tips & Tricks for Freeing the Scribe Within, among others. Bev is also a co-author of The Complete Writer (Red Engine Press). For questions or comments, e-mail her at scribequill@gmail.com

My latest article on retiring in Croatia

2017-05-07T21:27:00.001-06:00

My latest article about retiring in Croatia has been published. Bet you never thought of retiring there, huh? Go check it out:

https://www.liveandinvestoverseas.com/country-hub/croatia/retire-in-croatia.html

Are you a give-a-shit writer?

2017-04-17T23:31:00.000-06:00

Look, I get that writing a book manuscript isn't easy. I know it takes countless hours of your life and it can drain your brain like nothing else. If writing was an easy feat, every person would do it. But that's no excuse for sloppy manuscript submissions. At the minimum, you should have punctuation in your manuscript, as well as paragraphs. Who the hell thinks having NO PARAGRAPHS in a manuscript is a good idea?!*

(*Interrobangs are so much fun to use, aren't they?)

Please, respect your editor and publisher. Don't send them a manuscript that's laden with errors and half-assed efforts like missing quotation marks (really?). Does a person who never uses quotation marks realize that dialogue requires such marks, or were they too damned lazy to bother with it in the first place? I'm betting on the latter.

While you're at it, why don't you run a cursory spell check so it appears you made an attempt to check your work in some small way before you shunted it off to your editor or publisher? Yeah, that would be nice. Oh, wait. Is that too much to ask? For many so-called writers, it is. Learning the craft of writing is SO last century, isn't it? I mean, who has the TIME? *insert hair flip*

You can always tell the difference between writers who sling together a manuscript in hopes of selling a bunch of books to make a wad of cash versus a writer who takes the craft of writing seriously. The latter will obsess over every. little. detail even after the manuscript is out of his or her hands. In fact, once the book is published, the caring writer will still regret not making even more changes before the book found its way onto the bookshelves. This type of writer gives a shit.

And the slapdash writer? This is the kind I want to strangle (not really, but the angry emotion is there). Well, that writer doesn't give a damn about much of anything. They'll serve up a pile of prosaic poop and expect their editor to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. Who needs to know anything about spelling and grammar, right? The editor should fix all of it, so why does the writer need to know the difference between their/there/they're? Who has time for figuring out and learning homophones, right? This type of writer gives no shits...at all. They're the type who will fling crap at a wall and then expect others to turn it into a Picasso. If you're this type of writer, you're an asshole. Yep, I said it because it's true.

The funny thing is, once writers that don't give a shit have their books published, they're shocked to learn they're not outselling J.K. Rowling. Take it from me: these writers almost always go out of their way to tell you how they are the next big thing in the literary world and how all their books will be bestsellers.

Conversely, the writer who gives a shit hardly, if ever, lets those words pass his or her lips. It all leads back to thinking of writing as a craft and something you do for your entire life, as opposed to something you do on a lark to see if you can rake in money so you can brag about it to your Aunt Martha at Christmas time.

Writers who care will write no matter what. Most of the time, they want to earn a living with their words so they can keep writing as a career instead of being stuck in a hellish cubicle doing something they absolutely hate. They cannot NOT write. It's not possible. Writing is not just what they do, but is an essential part of who they ARE.

People who masquerade as writers only give a shit about writing when they can get something superficial out of it. You won't find these types at literary meetups or discussing the wonders of Shakespeare or Murakami. They won't know who Jack Kerouac is, nor will they know the difference between David Sedaris and David Copperfield (he's an author, right?) Because, heck, they probably don't read much. Reading is for boring people, you see. They may even brag that they haven't read a book since high school or college. They aren't concerned with the importance of literature OR the art and craft of writing. They're concerned with the potential for fame and quick cash to use for their next casino trip to Las Vegas.

It pains me to say it, but the people I've described in the previous paragraph are still considered writers. If you write, you're a writer. But not all writers are the same. This type of writer never earns my respect, nor will they ever. They use writing like it's little more than a White Chapel whore for their personal pleasure. They use it, wring out what pleasure or benefit they can, and then toss it to the side with nary a backward glance. They don't truly care about books, writing, literature, authors, readers, or anything. It's all about what's in it for them -- that's it. They're users, not givers.

Do me a favor, will ya? Strive to become the type of writer that gives a shit, not the kind who doesn't. If you don't have the proper respect for books and writing, find another hobby. We need more givers and fewer takers. Which one are you?

Just call me...Charity Gamble!

2017-04-16T21:53:00.001-06:00

I had an interesting dream last night in which my name was Charity Gamble (what a GREAT character name, I thought). My boyfriend in the dream was this big, Viking-looking fellow whose fingers/hands were bound with strong wire.

I freed my dream man from his wiry bondage and he told me, "I embrace you like a whore, but I love you like a wife." I thought it was an awesome bit of dialogue.

I love the wacky stuff my brain conjures in my dreams every night.

Need a manuscript editor or proofreader? Contact me today for a FREE sample edit and a quote

2017-03-29T02:20:00.002-06:00

A reminder that I not only write books, I'm also an experienced editor and proofreader. I've been a professional editor for 20 years. Over the past two decades, I've revised book manuscripts (fiction and nonfiction), website content, short stories, articles, e-zines, business materials, brochures, newsletters, and more. Contact me through my FB page or e-mail nocturnaleditor@gmail.com for a free sample edit and a quote. I'm professional and affordable.

Participating in Camp NaNoWriMo? Join my private cabin!

2017-03-26T05:15:00.000-06:00

If you're participating in Camp NaNoWriMo for April and you want to join my private cabin, Nest of Crows, let me know the camp name you're using and I'll be glad to send you an invite.