Elephant Toenail Report

Hogan's Heroes Alternate Reality

2013-01-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Colonel Klink meets Batman.

Hogan's Heroes was a hit show on CBS, Batman a hit show on ABC. Somehow Klink ended up on Batman? Stranger things have NOT happened. I'd love to know the backstory on the inception and contract negotiations for this.

There were other Hogan's Heroes moments that skewed reality. See below. The cast of Hogan's Heroes on the Hollywood Palace TV show with Bing Crosby. They actually do a really good job with this. I'm sure there were quite a few confused kids (and parents) thinking, "Wait, I thought Hogan's Heroes was just pretend!"

The Cast of Hogan's Heroes On Hollywood Palace

Hogan and Schultz on the Red Skelton Show:

BUT THE BEST IS COLONEL KLINK (actually, Werner Klemperer this time)

GETTING A NEW MONOCLE ON THE PAT SAJAK SHOW

(skip to 1:36 to view the big event)

It's kind of sweet when he puts on the monocle and makes the "Klink" gesture.

Disclosure: During the writing of this article I learned how to spell monocle correctly.

The End of the World, Again?

2013-01-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

Are you tired of all those apocalyptic predictions falling short? Especially the last one, December 21, 2012. That was really a letdown!

Why hasn't Harold Camping chimed in about this? Harold, we need your insight!

Avid reader Allison helped create this graphic highlighting just how many times the world was supposed to end (but didn't!):

Graphic courtesy of OnlinePsychologyDegree.net

The Skipper and The Professor Knew Each Other!

2013-01-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

News Flash! - The Skipper and The Professor knew each other before their fateful Three Hour Tour!

For all you youngsters in case you don't know what I am referring to, I'm talking about the TV show Gilligan's Island.

The Casey Jones TV show aired from 1957-1958. Alan Hale (AKA The Skipper) played the lead part of Casey Jones. Seven years before Gilligan's Island.

One episode of Casey Jones features none other than The Professor (AKA Russell Johnson) as a rouge western guy causing havoc.

Watch the video. The Professor is the guy walking the tracks at the beginning.

All those years on the Island and they never alluded to the fact that they had met before!

The SAGE Computer in Movies and TV Shows

2012-10-18T09:23:00.001-07:00

Columbo operating the SAGE computer

Have you ever noticed the large computers in the computer operations room of movies and TV shows? They kinda of all look alike.

There is a good reason for that. These computers are remnants and copies of the SAGE A/N FSQ-7 computers, the largest computers ever built. This computer system was sold off to movie and TV productions companies and suppliers. The computer lives on in movies and TV shows.

THe SAGE computer on "Lost"

Even on "That's So Raven"! Nothing is sacred...

The SAGE computer was really large with a lot of parts. It's parts and copies have been used over and over in movies and TV shows. It it embodies all we envision a really really super computer looks like.

The SAGE in real-life

These pictures and many more can be found at a page called The AN/FSQ-7 on TV and in the Movies by Mike Loewen. Lots of pics of the computer from TV and movies since the 1960's.

Of course - Batman had one

Taylor Swift Tea Party

2012-03-03T09:32:00.001-08:00

I saw this picture and -- now I know what I want for Christmas:
A tea party with Taylor Swift!

Photo By Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

Roy Clark or Charo?

2012-02-21T12:16:00.000-08:00

Have you ever asked yourself "Who plays a better version of Malagueña? Is it Roy Clark or Charo?"

I'm partially biased, I've had a crush on Charo since I was 5 years old. But I liked Hee-Haw also, and I've seen Roy Clark perform several times, so I am definitely a fan of his.

But Charo is a lot sexier (at least she was when I was 5 years old!)

Charo was classically trained. Look at the video. I like how she bends those strings. She is no wimp!

Both appear to be concentrating hard. To me, Charo seems to appear more confident. After playing something really complicated Roy Clark often has a look on his face like he feels lucky he got through it.

Comments? Who do you think is better?

Justin Bieber's New Tattoo

2012-01-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Justin got a new tattoo - on his leg. OMG! Has he gone all Jerry Bergevin on us?

No matter what you think of tattooing, you would think someone as rich as Justin could afford a better Jesus rendering. Look at the close-up below. Is Jesus looking at his underwear showing, rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness of his low waist line? Pull up those pants young man, Tattoo Jesus is watching!

Another strange picture was found on the Daily Mirror site. A man standing next to Justin is either picking his butt or removing a wedgie. Shouldn't he have asked permission first before having this picture taken. Maybe he did get permission, who knows...

What are you looking at!

Pickin' Butt Next to Justin

Republican Rep. Jerry Bergevin is a Dork

2012-01-07T08:33:00.000-08:00

New Hampshire State Representative Jerry Bergevin has introduced a new house bill, 1148 which would require that evolution is:

“taught in the public schools of this state as a theory, including the theorists’ political and ideological viewpoints and their position on the concept of atheism.”

It sounds like this is not so much about the theory of evolution, but the religous views of the proponents of evolution. In short - he has a bone to pick with them.

"I want the full portrait of evolution and the people who came up with the ideas to be presented. It's a worldview and it's godless. Atheism has been tried in various societies, and they've been pretty criminal domestically and internationally. The Soviet Union, Cuba, the Nazis, China today: they don't respect human rights."

"As a general court we should be concerned with criminal ideas like this and how we are teaching it. . . . Columbine, remember that? They were believers in evolution. That's evidence right there"

Gee.. I guess America returning back to it's Nazi roots would not be very good. Maybe he has a point?

One must wonder why he didn't mention the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Should this be taught in schools also?

All this religious talk in politics makes me nervous.

Quotes are from the Concord Monitor article HERE.

Submerged Church in Italy

2011-11-27T03:32:00.000-08:00

This 14th century church in Graun, Italy was submerged by a dam in 1950. More than 160 residents were forced to leave their home to make way for the reservoir. The only evidence that a town existed there is the church tower that sticks out of the water. What once was the villages of Graun and Reschen, now is Reschensee, or Lake Reschen. Very erie.

One wonders if there are people still alive that remember living right there and going to church there, as a child. Do people ever use this as a dive spot?

You can walk out to it in the winter!

Photos from Wikipedia.org
Top Picture: Photographer: Markus Bernet
Ice picture: Frederik Schulz

Woman Jumping Out of a Cake

2011-11-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

I was recently discussing idle topics with teenagers. The topic of women jumping out of a cake came up. Surely they didn't know what that was referring to?

They all were familiar with the scenario:

At a decadent party, they wheel out a large cake. The a beautiful woman pops out of it. Everyone is shocked and delighted.

Everyone seems to know of this scenario. As I remember, it was a common gimmick on TV shows when I was a kid. Among all the things in the world we should be interested in or pay attention to, women jumping out of cakes has risen near the top. So much so, that Duffy Lyon, who does sculptures out of butter for the Iowa State Fair, did a sculpture of herself. See the picture above-left. I assume that almost everyone who saw it knew the woman jumping out of a cake scenario, didn't think twice about it.

How did all this woman jumping out of a cake business get started?

Stanford White

Stanford White was a big time architect in New York. He designed a lot of things, like Madison Square Garden. You can read up on him at Wikipedia. The cake story is not exactly clear, and it is strange the Wikipedia article does not cover the "cake" incident. In 1895 a picture taken at a party of his was printed in a New York newspaper. The picture was of a woman jumping out of a cake. After that, cake jumping became all the rage. All it took was one picture, and the rest is history. 11 years later Stanford was murdered by a jealous lover of one of his flings, the trial was a news sensation.

I wonder if he was plagued by the woman jumping out of a cake picture and the legacy it inspired. Was he questioned about it all the time? Was he sick of hearing about it? I can imagine friends nicknaming him "Cake". Sort of like Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson, my favorite Monty Python sketch:

Arthur "Cake" White?

Can anyone provide any more information about the famous origin? Is this just an urban legend? Why can't I find the famous picture that was the spark of it all? A mystery! Please comment....

Eating Dirt

2011-11-11T09:54:00.000-08:00

Geophagy is the act of eating earth - clay or chalk like substances. This is different than the disorder Pica. Geophagy is not considered a disorder, just something people do.

There seems to be 2 reasons people eat clay or dirt, if they do not have a mental disorder like Pica. One reason is that clay in your system can leach out dangerous toxins in food. The other is that some people just crave it!

You can actually buy dirt for eating, see http://whitedirt.samsbiz.com/. Yum!

Eating clay is prevalent in the Middle East, Asia, Africa, and the Southern United States. According to a 1986 article in the New York Times:

To this day, many rural Southern blacks dig clays with the desired sour taste from local pits, often from subsoil in roadbanks, Dr. Vermeer said. ''In Alabama, damage to roadbanks in some places has been so extensive that the highway department has posted signs requesting local residents not to dig into them,'' he noted.

The clay is baked and often mixed with vinegar and salt. In northern cities, some women who crave clay have their favorite types sent by Southern relatives, while others consume Argo starch, which has similar properties, as a substitute.

Some poor whites in the South also eat clay despite strong social pressures not to. Although American physicians tend instinctively to condemn the practice, ''no current evidence indicates that normal consumption of clays in the American South is either beneficial or harmful,'' Dr. Vermeer said. Eating of excessive quantities can cause intestinal blockage.

OK, that is weird, but it is considered within the range of normal human behavior, unlike harvesting and ingesting bear bile and monkey brains!

Potatoes originated from South America. The original varieties contained poisonous toxins and could only be tolerated by the consumer eating the vegetable with clay that leached out the toxins. Even today these types of potatoes can be found in South American markets, and you can buy jars of clay that you are to coat your tongue with before eating the potatoes. Potato affectionados claim the poisonous ones are the best tasting ones.

Pregnant women are known for craving strange food. Coincidentally pregnant women are the largest consumers of clay.

Eating clay in Sierra Leon

Now that you know geophagy exists, and that it is not harmful, wanna try some?

http://www.magneticclay.com/eating-clay.php

Family Radio Goofy People

2011-11-08T07:10:00.000-08:00

After all the hullabaloo about the apocalypse, Harold Camping, people giving away all their money to prop up a false prophet - I saw a car today with a Family Radio bumper sticker. Family Radio, if you remember, was/is Harold Camping's radio network.

Don't you think this person would be too embarrassed to have this on their car?

See my last blog about Harold Camping.

OK, now I must let this topic drop - I'll let my "Harold Camping is a goof ball" obsession not obsess me anymore. No more Harold Camping blogs (unless he does something really goofy again, of course!).

I cannot seem to find a Harold Camping Bobblehead for sale anywhere on the internet. You would think the people driving the Family Radio cars and vans around would have a good source for these. Does anyone know where I can get one?

Fried Kool-Aid

2011-11-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

I'm a little late with this one. Fried Kool-Aid was all the rage this summer. Despite it's popularity on the internet, our local fair did not have this for sale. I expected it to be everywhere, just like deep-fried Twinkies were a couple of years ago.

The name "Fried Kool-Aid" conjures up the thought of there being a pot of boiling oil and you throw in a package of Kool-Aid. Then something magical happens and it turns into the tasty treat of my dreams. Something I've never tasted before.

Not quite...

Most of the recipes we found on the web are basically the same. Here is one from friedkoolaidrecipe.com:

Kool-Aid Cookies:
1/2 c. butter
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. unsweetened any flavor Kool-Aid (grape, use 1 1/2 tsp.)
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. milk
1 beaten egg
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
2 c. flour
Cream butter, egg, and sugar; mix well. Then mix all ingredients and mix to first mixture. Place heaping teaspoon on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes.

ICING:
1 c. powdered sugar
1 tsp. soft butter
2 tbsp. milk
1/4 tsp. Kool-Aid powder
Mix powdered sugar with Kool-Aid powder with soft butter. Add milk and mix thoroughly, then spread on cool cookies.

We used cherry Kool-Aid. The picture of our experiment is posted above.

The result? .... They were OK. The recipe basically makes a doughnut that is ball shaped. The little bit of Kool-Aid in the product acts just as a light flavoring - nothing more.

So, Fried Kool-Aid is a bit of an over hype. Not really worth all the calories you ingest. But I support the GoofyFood community for trying.

October 21, 2011 The Apocalypse

2011-10-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

UPDATE - Oct 22, 2011 - Sorry Harold - we are all still here. Better luck next time!

UPDATE - Oct 21, 2011 - It is morning, I am still awake, the good people I know are still here...

UPDATE - Nov 7, 2011 - I heard a report on the radio - Harold Camping admitted he made a mistake, and that he is now out of the predicting business.

Remember all the Hubbub on May 21, 2011, which was "Judgement Day"? Harold Camping from FamilyRadio.com predicted that the Judgement Day, or Rapture was a "spiritual rapture", whatever that is. I never did really understand the explanation.

October 21, 2011 is now supposed to the the actual end of the world. As of this writing, that is tomorrow.

But if you were not one of the chosen on May 21, 2011 - there is nothing you can do. At this point you are either chosen or doomed. The decision has been made on May 21. This is the reason the doom-sayers are no longer driving around and handing out pamphlets. No reason to, any conversions now are worthless (according to them).

Harold Camping has changed his story a bit, though. He now says that the end of the world will "probably" be October 21, 2011. Probably! Is he finally having doubt? Isn't this akin to Moses striking the rock twice?!? Whoops!

It will be interesting what FamilyRadio.com's response will be on October 22. I predict the response will be something like "Sorry for the mistake, but we've already spent the millions sent to us! We'll try to remember to wave from our new yacht!"

See the past ETR articles about this subject:

October 21 Apocalypse
Harold Camping and the Spiritual Rapture

You can still get a Jesus Action Figure. Pretty cool, but it won't do you any good if you did not pass judgement on May 21!

It's too late - but this action figure is still cool!

3 Things China Should Stop Doing ASAP

2011-10-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

Not to pick on the Chinese - but ..... I'm going to pick on the Chinese. I know our Western society does a lot of sick things, but I keep hearing about these 3 very disturbing really unnecessary things. Why do they have to do such silly and evil things!

These things are so disgusting that I can not go into detail here. But you can look up the gory details yourself on the web and get involved in some movements against these practices.

Eating Monkey Brains

This is disgusting! While researching this topic on the web I found that most pictures and details of eating monkey brains are too disturbing for this blog. I can't go into the details - look it up yourself if you dare. It is still being done today! Amazing.

Bear Bile

Bottle of Bear Bile

Bear bile? Come on - disgusting! Wikipedia says bear bile is

a digestive juice produced by the liver and stored in the gall bladder

.
How to they obtain bear bile? That is the bad part. They have cruel farms with bears in small cages. They suck bile from their gall bladder ... I can't go into the details, they are too sick, the stuff of nightmares.

Note: Bear bile is not used to cure impotence.

Shark Fins

Shark fins - yum yum!

This is totally ridiculous. Shark fins are used for shark fin soup. This soup is considered a delicacy and can cost $80/bowl. What is bad about this is how the shark fins are obtained. The process is known as shark finning. Fishermen catch a shark, cut off it's fin, and throw it back into the water to die without the fin.

Millions of sharks die this ghastly death and it is decimating the shark population.

I hear the arguments for these practices to continue:

Cures impotence
It is traditional

My rebuttal this: 1 - The Chinese government had to institute the One Child Policy because they were making too many babies. I don't think they need to do these weird things for impotence. Anyway, if they do, aren't there pills for this? And, aren't there factories in China making cheap knock-offs of these pills that would be better than bear bile? 2 - As adults you need to sometimes cast off some of your society's traditions that don't make sense. Grow up!

Image sources:
http://www.squidoo.com/MONKEY-BRAIN
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bear_bile_01.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Shark_fins.jpg

David Walliams Swims 140 Miles of the Thames

2011-09-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

British comedian David Walliams swam to Houses of Parliament from the source of the Thames river. 140 miles. He completed the swim for charity and raised more than £1 million.

As if swimming 140 miles was not enough, his main challenge was living though "Thames Tummy", which is the diarrhoea and vomiting caused from the famously unclean waters of the Thames river. A lot of the Thames pollution is from sewage. Yuck!

David is famous in England for his BBC comedy show "Little Britain" in which he plays a myriad of characters. He looks great in his swimming outfits, he is in great shape, obviously. But most people know him as his alter egos on "Little Britain". For instance, he plays the extremely conservative church lady who gets sick when confronted with today's "liberal" social norms. She doesn't just get sick - she uncontrollably projectile vomits on the naive "liberal" victims.

Yes, it is so gross it is funny...

I am sure that was thinking about the church lady while he was vomiting while swimming in the Thames. I wonder if this will change his future portrayal of the character?

"Little Britain" is available for instant play on netflix. Go to http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Little_Britain/70140407?trkid=2361637. Caution! Some of it is raunchy! The Brits like it that way.

You may wonder "Where is the source of the Thames?" It is called Thames Head, about one mile north of Kemble, near Circencester in Gloucestershire.

Houses of Parliament, where he swam to:

The Debt Movie Review

2011-09-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

Rating: A
Note: This movie is rated R. Not for kids!

Saw the movie. Liked it.

This espionage thriller takes place in 1966 and 1997. There are lots of East Berlin reenactments which were pretty well done, gave the the feel that they actually filmed it in 1966 East Berlin. Good plot. I recommend it. It is one of those movies that transports you to another time and after the movie the first several seconds out of the theater into the real world are confusing.

Actress Helen Mirren does a really good job in this movie. She is very intense and has a really bad scar that makes you wince every time you see it on her face. Strange how they do not show her face scar on the movie poster.

Jessica Chastain (never heard of her before) plays Helen's character as a young woman. She is really gorgeous! At least until she got hit in the face with a broken piece of china, the source of the scar. Wince.

Jessica Chastain - without scar - whoa momma!

I kept thinking about the cut-turned-bad-scar on her face. She should have tried this:

Click on the image to reveal the power...

Face In Cutout Hole

2011-09-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

You know those large billboards where you put your face through the hole into a scene and it is supposed to look funny or cute, but it never really works?

Well, someone sent me a picture that actually seems to be worth the effort. The picture to the left looks funny and cute. Is she really reading that book? It looks like she is! But I am not really convinced the beaver is reading his book.

If you have any "successful" billboard-scene-face-cutout pictures - send them to me and I'll post them.

Update: Someone sent me a cute cut-out picture! Finally harnessing the true power of the web. See below.

Pretty cute!

And another one! (Same model as in the first picture)

1980's Dating Video Disasters

2011-08-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

In the early 1980's video dating was all the rage. Remember there was no internet then. This video dating company went out of business, someone found the tapes, and made this collage.

Whatever happened to these guys? Ellen Degeneres tracked down 3 of them:

Big Phil is still a pretty good looking guy! Maurice really let himself go.

The women they dated could have used a date rating standard if they would have had their own Rate-A-Date pads:

Get a Rate-A-Date Pad

Or, if it is immediately apparent the date is bad, but you can tolerate the guy, get this notepad:

Get a - Why I Must Get Drunk With You - Pad

Bad Accident

2011-08-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

What happened? What is that a picture of? How did his wife explain this to the police?

On July 30, 2011, Leroy Luetscher of Tuscon Arizona, dropped his pruning shears while gardening. The shears stuck into the ground blade first, the handle sticking up. He bent down to pick them up and slipped.

It may be a good time to have all young children leave the room - before you read the next few sentences...

Yes, he slipped, lost his balance. His head came down full force on the handle and the pruning shears handle went through his eyeball socket all the way to his neck. See the picture, the handle is inside his skull!

The doctors were able to reconstruct the eye socket and save the eye. He now has some minor eye lid swelling and a bit of double vision in he eye.

It is a miracle! Here is a joke he could tell all the neighborhood kids:

Q: What's worse that a pruning shears blade rammed into your eye socket?
A: A pruning shears handle rammed into your eye socket!

I hope he goes out and gets a tattoo to commemorate his miracle. Maybe he should try some of these:

Get your tattoos for the elderly!

Or maybe just an Oprah Winfrey tattoo will suffice. See Oprah Winfrey Tattoos

With a tattoo like this, it would be as if Oprah was constantly reminding him:
"Hey! Don't fall on the pruning shears handle!"

SpaceX Dragon To The Rescue?

2011-08-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

Did you know this was going on? Maybe not. For some reason it does not make the front page of too many newspapers.

The International Space Station (aka ISS) - floating several hundred miles above the earth - had a setback several weeks ago. Now that the last Space Shuttle has been retired, it is up to the Russians to bring supplies to the ISS. The Russians are using their outdated unmanned Soyuz rockets to deliver much needed supplies. The last shipment was unsuccessful, it exploded after take off. The Russians are saying they will not send up another one till they fix the problem that blew up this one. So the crew of the ISS are left without supplies, which will run out in November.

Now for the really cool part - The Dragon. The Dragon and Falcon9 are products of SpaceX - see http://www.spacex.com/ for more details. SpaceX is attempting to be the first privately funded manned spacecraft, and it plans on docking with the ISS some time in December.

PayPal co-founder Elon Musk posing with the Falcon 9 - He is backing the venture.

The Falcon 9 is the rocket that will boost the Dragon spacecraft into orbit.

Here is a great picture of the Dragon capsule:

Here are the details:

Now the bad news - The Dragon will not be ready in time to save the ISS mission. The dragon will not be ready for docking till December. The ISS crew will need to leave the ISS by November 19th if the Russians can't get their act together and deliver supplies.

But if the Russians can deliver supplies, there will be people on board the ISS able to help with the docking. So we may see the first commercial ~~manned~~ unmanned flight to the ISS in time for Christmas 2011. Keep your fingers crossed!

Reader "David" posted some interesting extra details in the comments. I will re-post his comment here. Thanks David!

Just a couple of corrections and some interesting details. First, last year became the first private company to launch a vehicle into orbit and renter that vehicle to a safe and successful- touchdown on Earth. Until now only the Russians The U.S. and the Chinese governments have been the only entities to do so. The Soyuz rocket did not explode during launch. It's upper stage failed to ignite and therefore could not reach orbit. The cause has been determined to be a faulty gas generator. The gas generator supplies the turbo pumps with their initial rotation until the flow of fuel or exhaust takes over the job. Also there are three other spacecraft being developed by private companies under contract with NASA in what is called the Commercial Orbital Transportation Services Program (COTS); Boeing has a capsule, Sierra Nevada is developing a small space-plane called Dream Chaser (way cool!) and Orbital Sciences is developing a non-reusable cargo ship. SpaceX has also entered Dragon and their rocket,the Falcon 9, into the Commercial Crew Development program (CC-Dev)which is for future manned missions.

Another couple of cool points about Dragon and the Falcon 9 are that Dragon will eventually land using it's rocket thrusters built into the side of the ship which will also be used for the emergency escape system and its main thrusters when in space and secondly, their other plan is to reuse the first stage. This will require the first stage to do a 180 degree flip after its upper stage has been separated, restart it's engines to slow down, flip again to reorient for reentry and then land in the ocean on a parachute system. Both of those things are super cool!

SpaceX is designing another rocket called the Falcon 9 Heavy which will be basically the same as Falcon 9 but with two more identical booster rockets strapped to either side of the main core stage. This will be the most powerful rocket in existence and second only to the Apollo era Saturn V. Furthermore SpaceX will have launch facilities in Cape Canaveral in Florida, Vandenburg Air Force Base in California which is currently under construction, and another facility, possibly in Texas. This is because SpaceX already has a huge number of manifested launches already on the books for satellite companies and others. They believe that they will be producing one rocket per week when they ramp everything up to full production Now for the absolute best part of all of this. They are doing everything for about 10% of what NASA would cost to do the same. They plane to achieve the Holy Grail of the space industry, launches for $1000 or less per pound. Historically the cost has been about $20,000 per pound per launch.

Photos courtesy of SpaceX/NASA

October 21 Apocalypse

2011-08-21T03:01:00.000-07:00

Reminder: The actual end of the world, aka the Apocalypse, is coming up soon.

We all remember the Judgement day fiasco on May 21 of this year. But the media has seemed to have forgotten that the actual end of the world is coming October 21, 2011. At least - according to Harold Camping.

We haven't heard much from Harold lately. What has he been up to? He has been laying pretty low, out of the public's eye.

In June he suffered a stroke. He has been in the hospital and in recuperation since then. See the ETR May 17, 2001 post where I sort-of-predict he was to handle the fiasco by having a heart attack. I was not far off.

Here is the announcement they make about Harold's condition:

His radio station empire has pulled the plug on his radio show - at least for now. I assume harold will not come back - too embarrassing for the company. But they have not totally distanced themselves from harold. On the front page of the familyradio.com website there is a link "What Happened on May 21?". On this page they try to explain the fiasco. On may 21 the Rapture did occur, but it was a "Spiritual Rapture", which I do not completely understand.

The last sentence of their explanation is a blatant attempt to keep the fiasco alive and bring in more money:

Anyone can continue to beseech God for mercy because salvation and the election program are entirely in God’s hands.

According to their philosophy this is not true. We should have been all "judged" on May 21, that is final. How can we still be saved? Crazy.

If you really do think you still have a chance - you'd better show your faith to the world by getting one of these:

Get Your Jesus Action Figure Before It Is Too Late!

Gérard Depardieu Peed on Plane

2011-08-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

This guy got in trouble for peeing while inside a commercial plane. He didn't pee in the toilet.

Gérard Depardieu is actually a very famous French actor, he has starred in hundreds of films. Most of his films are in French, so the movie going masses in the U.S. are likely not to be familiar with him. But in most of the world he is a big deal!

Here is the story - He swears he was not intoxicated at the time. He was on a flight that was delayed on the tarmac. He asked to use the toilet - but was refused. So he did what he had to do. He peed on the carpet.

Afterwards he was very embarrassed and offered to clean up the mess. He claimed he has a prostate problem that ignited all this.

Look at the picture. He has really let himself go to pot. He needs to shape up and lose a few hundred pounds before peeing on another flight.

He is lucky. He can go home to sulk - and use his French Toast Stamp - almost all French citizens have one of these:

Click on this to order yours!

Sundays and Laxatives

2011-08-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

Amazing information is at your fingertips when you goof on on the internet!

Google Analytics is a free tool that lets you see search trends. What are people searching for in their browser?

My research has uncovered an interesting trend. Every Sunday - EVERY SUNDAY - the searches for "laxatives" increases significantly.

What could be the reason for this? I have thought of several possibilities:

Laxative commercials on TV are finally sinking in to peoples consciousness after a weekend of TV watching

Bad weekend diets, not enough fiber for 2 days?

Medical school students researching

NASCAR?

The last possibility about NASCAR may have some merit. Here - I've plotted the search trends for NASCAR:

Is there a correlation between laxative searches and NASCAR searches? It sure seems so! I am going to leave it to the read to ponder why - I don't know!

Since this blog entry may turn up when people search for "laxatives", I'll list a good product here. You can click on this and actually order it...

Magical Jewish Teas - They'll do the trick!

I wonder what type of person searches for laxative on a Sunday? You would think that the majority of people know what a laxative is, where to get it, how it works. Why search on Google?

You can perform your own searches for interesting trends. Here is the actually working trend tool. Select the "edit" link and enter your own terms. GIVE IT A TRY...

Please comment below if you uncover anything interesting!

NOTE: See my laxative-related story at http://elephanttoenailreport.blogspot.com/2011/08/puppies-as-laxative.html

Ninkles

2011-08-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

OMG!
Women have a new thing to worry about. Wrinkled Knees - aka "Ninkles". Maybe not so new, but the world has just begun to care.

As a woman age there are many factors that can lead to knee wrinkles. According to anti-ageing and hormone specialist Dr Cecilia Tregear, from London's Wimpole Skin Clinic, ninkles occur as a result of the loss of elasticity and collagen in the skin, which is caused by a combination of factors.

'Poor nutrition, sun damage, unbalanced or declining hormones — due to stress and approaching menopause — as well as a diet high in sugar, all conspire to create wrinkly knees.'

It is said that Nicole Kidman had Ninkles, but I don't believe that, she is to perfect for an affliction like this.

The picture to the left is a recent one of Elle Macpherson. See the close-up of her knee. Elle! You have Ninkles!

For normal women, I don't really see this as a problem. This is natural, and I bet most men really do not care.

But I take exception to the rich model-ish women who have made obscene amounts of money from us just by showing their bodies and nothing more. They owe it to use to get those Ninkles fixed or cover them up!

Elle - OMG!

Maybe she should try this:

Click on the image to reveal the power...

Nicole - No Ninkles!