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Calm and Steady

2010-03-04T20:23:00.001+08:00

It's like waking up in front of the beach. Seeing the ocean at low tide. Calm and steady.

I remember when I was a kid, 8 or 9 years old, we used to go to Batangas on weekends and stay in my aunt's private resort which stands in front of the beach. I love walking on the shore every morning. Picking up sea shells, chasing crab-lets and just seeing the beauty of earth. I love the feel of the sand on my feet--the cold grainy sand when you burry your feet on. I love how the ocean smells, the greasy air that kisses your skin, and sound of the waves. It's my favorite place on earth. Calm, safe and steady. Like nothing could harm you.

By mid day, You can see the water rise. The feel of the wind changes and the warmth of the sun is starting to irritate your skin. The sound of birds chirping as they fly is no longer music to your ears. The running creatures on the sand has all gone hiding and the shells you've been gasping for becomes nothing but plain rocks to your eyes. You could hardly smell the ocean. As the tides hit the shore stronger and the sand castles had all been destroyed, so is that moment. That calm, safe, peaceful and steady moment. Like nothing could ever change.

As the light started to fade out from your eyes and witness the sun drown in the angry sea, darkness has emerge to conquer your view. The memories of a beautiful morning had been forgotten. Every beautiful moments had all been wiped. And all that is left was nothing but hope. Hoping for a beginning, a fresh start, a new day. A calm, safe, peaceful, serene and steady tomorrow. Like nothing could be ever forgotten.

I could only hope my morning will continue as my days go by. I will soon be facing the mid day and sure to die by night. There's nothing I could do as the world turns. There's nothing but faith to decide my future. I could only pray to be calm and steady.

Doin' Just Fine

2010-01-26T13:43:00.008+08:00

The title of the song by Boyz II Men. Very appropriate to my situation right now. After all the turmoils, adversity and chaos I've been through, I'm standing tall and doing just fine.

My freelancing was going really well until I got an offer from a young company. Dottystyle Creative is an Australian based company that has just started branching out to the Philippines. I recieved a call November last year and after negotiating with a competitive offer, I was hired.

I started December 1, 2009. So far everything is doing fine. The whole set up was great! I leave early from home to hit the gym at 6 am in Fitness First MOA. Then proceeed to work in Buendia, Makati from 9 am to 6 pm.

I have no complain so far. I'm still able to do freelance. I workout almost everday of the week. I watch movies at night. I get to travel out of town on weekends. I get to give some of what I earn to my Mom and still able to buy stuff for my self.

Everything was going the way I wanted it. It's those moment in life where you wish nothing would change. Where you could close your eyes without worry and no hesitation of opening them back. But you know for sure that there will be something— a bump— something that could destroy your happiness.

Only children deserves a worry free life. I'm getting scared of what lies for me on the road. And when it hits me, I'm sure to forget this moment in my life.

For now I will enjoy this moment as long as I can.

Me at the Anawangin Cove last Saturday, January 23 2010

Insomnia

2009-11-08T17:39:00.007+08:00

There is a certain feeling in my heart when I'm about to cry. A feeling I cannot explain. Lately I have been feeling that amount of hurt that could make me burst into tears. The sadness that stops me cold and sure to feel it. But I'm keeping it inside. I won't let a tear fall down.

Insomnia. Staying awake while asleep. It started back in high school. If the clock ticks pass twelve and I haven't doze off, I won't be able to fall asleep until the sun rises. I lay in bed trying to sleep. I open my eyes into darkness with only the light from outside the window could help me see silhouettes. I close my eyes and make a turn. I still couldn't sleep.

I think about my hopes, ambitions, and dreams. I fall asleep. The next morning I'd wake up not remembering the last thing in my mind before I have fallen into a coma.

My inconsistency in sleeping was said to be my lack of peace of mind according to an old buddy. I couldn't sleep because I was stressing on my frustrations—unmeant desires. His no Psychologist nor an expert in sleeping and he majored in business. But what he said really struck me and... I believed him.

When I turned my life around back during my college years. My sleeping habit became consistent. I don't sleep passed 10 pm. My alarm sets off every morning around 6 am and by the time the clock ticks 8 am, I should already be up and walking. I was constantly at the gym and I eat healthy foods.

I felt so good with my life. I had everything under control. I don't stress out on what's about to happen the next day. It was a worry free stage of my life. But all these have changed when I started working for ABS-CBN interactive. I guess the atmosphere of my former work place had put me on stress.

I miss having a regular job. With firm office hours and not flexible time. A reason to wake up every morning at an exact right time. And ending your day thinking nothing but your bed—only to rest and sleep.

Now that I'm home doing freelance. I have less to worry. I should have taken this time to turn my sleeping habit back to where I was happy. Start waking up early and eat healthy foods. I should be able to clear my mind. But I'm having a hard time. I tossed and turned at night! Why am I stressing? Everything is doing well. My freelancing is doing great. I couldn't figure out what's bothering me. And once again I couldn't sleep.

Insomnia. Staying awake while asleep. Thinking about my shoulda woulda coulda. The hopes, ambitions, and dreams. The thoughts of What if... I fall asleep.

Blog, blog, blag!

2009-10-24T16:32:00.000+08:00

Wow. Its been more than three months since I last blogged. I've already forgotten how to do it. I was so busy with work and other stuff that I have abandoned my blog. Because of this I lost my domain (elephantonadiet.com). I forgot to renew it and to do so now will cost me 99 USD! Thats sad because I still don't have a credit card.

Blogging comes with freedom. And free blog hosting sites are there to help out. Since blogger.com allowed me to import my old blog posts and comments from wordpress. It was the immediate choice to where my legacy of blogging shall continue.

There was a lot of things that had happened to me in the past three months. And since I wasn't blogging. My heart was suffocated by thoughts unable to exhale and I became sober.

Four months ago, I work as a media designer for ABS-CBN Interactive. If you read my previous blog entries, I choose to leave my stable perfect job for something I thought would satisfy me and feed me experience. Don't get me wrong, I did learned a lot but not on the professional level or expertise on what I do. I was culture shocked!

I learned office politics. And the first rule was have a thick face. Second rule was suck up!

I resist to learn those things. I became quiet doing what I needed to do. So I went following what direction they were giving me. However, It was misleading and confusing. I have three people to report to, I don't know which one to follow since each of them points me to different direction. The result was making 6 design studies only to find out the first study was the actual one to use and having my work labeled as amateurish at its best upon following vague instructions like make it colorful yet simple, use white background and follow this wireframe. But when I ask for design references, color scheme and sample studies. The reply was its up to you to impress.

I was unable to catch up. I cannot work like that. I slowly drowned and I couldn't breath anymore. I decided, I need to transfer to a different subsidiary after hearing an opening in ABS CBN Global. But first, I need to inform my superiors regarding this move.

Everything went well and I was ready for the transfer. I still have a month left but my feet were already shaking, eager to walk towards the other side of the fence. I became passive and uncaring that I forgot that I still have a month left. It affected my work and I was told that my contract will no longer be renewed. It was a good thing though, I didn't want to stay longer anyway.

Even though I was eager to leave. I felt I was electrified. A total power play and it wasn't just me who felt it. There were lots of people experiencing the same. But my experience was they gave me the notice a week before my contract ends. Which should have been a month or at least 15 days earlier. Especially if they were going to hold my salary. I asked for an explanation regarding it. I was nice and I even said I understood given the economic crisis. But I didn't received any reply regarding my salary and they couldn't look straight into my eyes whenever are path crosses.

When my contract finally ended. I wasn't able to transfer. I heard there was a memo released regarding Interactive employees transferring to Global subsidiary. And then the freeze hiring happened. It caught me and I wasn't hired because of it.

Global explained it properly and they outsourced me instead. They were honest to me and transparent. Since they have no control over the freeze hire, all they can do is give me freelance work and pay appropriately. And that was what I have been doing for the past three months. Freelance work for ABS CBN Global and my own sidelines and other rockets!

But now, I feel the need to have a full time job. Freelancing is unstable. Global doesn't know until when the ice age will last but I feel they wanted me to be there when it happens.

I am caught in a moment once again. I need to make a decision.

Back doing Freelance

2009-07-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

Life has become too busy ever since I worked at ABS-CBN. The back & forth travel from Cavite to Quezon City is too much of a time consumption. Sleep, rest, play a little with Tango & Samba, and now with our "bunso" Mambo- the son of Philippine Champion "Harvey"- has become my nightly habit once I get home from the traffic that is Emilio Aguinaldo Highway or the Cavite road from Coastal to Tagaytay.

Lately task had become light at the office therefor I was able to accept freelance work. It's like going back to basic. What I meant about that was I felt like going back on the days where my life was nothing but school, school paper and freelance web design and developing plus girlfriends also known as College life.

Wow life as become too busy that even my writing went from basic to beginner. Anyway, its not about my writing that I wanted to showcase in this blog entry. My freelance web designs are what I wanted to post.

The sad part about this was my designs are being bought for only 700 to 1 thousand pesos. Freelance is a little slow these days. If you happen to know anyone looking for freelance web designer that would pay a lot more for designs like these. Please let me know. I would love to work freelance for them.

visit Behance.net/december1985 for my portfolio

Tango & Samba

2009-06-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

Been busy with work and other stuff and I hardly get to blog. Tango has been with me for about 2 months now, and Samba came into my life a month ago.

They are both pure breed Shih Tzu, though Tango is being tease as a Lhasa Apso or half breed because his nose is a little longer compare to Samba. However his paper is a certificate of his breed from the Asian Kennel Club of the Philippines (http://akcupi.com/) while Samba's papers was from the Philippine Canine Club (http://www.pccionline.org/).

I don't know the difference between the two club. From what I hear, a member of ACKUPI cannot be transferred to PCCI, while from PCCI to ACKUPI is allowed. If you will breed an ACKUPI member with PCCI, only ACKUPI will accept their puppies to be registered and not with PCCI. PCCI has been established longer but there was a lot of anomaly as they say and it forces a new club to rise, thus, ACKUPI. While PCCI is considered by other international Kennel Clubs, ACKUPI is trying to do the same. And I heard a rumor that by next year, Tiendesitas' Pet Village will only sell puppies registered from ACKUPI because the Owner of Tiendesitas' is the President of the ACKUPI or something, I'm not sure.

The two clubs confuses me a lot. I really don't care whether PCCI will accept Tango and Samba's puppies in the future, there's still an ACKUPI they could register with. As long as those wiggling tails continues, I'll be happy.

They are my source of happiness. Whenever I feel so let down on work and other things. I come home to those wiggling tails, licks and barks then I get that burst of happiness. Shih Tzu being high maintenance is not just having them groom every week, but showing them your love and compassion. In return they will give you their, trust and loyalty, and happiness.

Filipinos = Cockroaches, Servants and Mail-order Bride.

2009-05-19T13:26:00.000+08:00

According to Clair Danes—back in the 90's when she visited our country— the Philippines smells like cockroaches. And she was banned from our country.

“Can I just check those diplomas because I just want to make sure that they are not from some med school in the Philippines.” That's the line Teri Hatcher delivered on the hit ABC television series Desperate Housewives. And she issued a public apology for the Filipinos.

A month—or two—ago. Hong Kong based columnist Tsip Chao wrote on his article that our country is a land of servant. Filipinos rally and marched againts Chao, he then publicly apologized and bow his head inside the Philippine Embassy-Hong Kong.

Now the Emmy award winning star of 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin said "I’m thinking about getting a Filipino mail-order bride at this point… or a Russian one." He joked to David Letterman that cause another fiasco.

I thought Claire Danes was just being honest, Teri Hatcher was just delivering her line, and Alec Baldwin was just making a joke. Why do this simple statements make Filipinos go ballistic?

While local gag shows do impersonations of Chinese and doing "knock! knock! ano sa intchik ang..." you don't see Chinese people reacting to our silliness. Our law makers also speak out and insult nations yet you don't hear them firing back. In America, there are lot of Mexican discrimination on T.V. as well on films yet you don't hear them reacting to it.

Lets not be hypocrites. I thought Tsip Chao is arrogant, sarcastic, racist but direct to the point. We are labeled as servants because a lot of Filipinos are working as servants in Hong Kong. Back in our country, the population of Chinese business man giving employment and salary to Filipinos are larger compare to actual Filipino business man.

When Tsip Chao ended his controversial article by saying "With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland..." I thought otherwise. The taxes being paid to our government is being used to create castle-like houses, air fare and pocket money for a trip around the world, and bets for cock fights.

I saw Ping Lacson's commercial regarding our country being listed by the World Bank as one of the top corrupt country in the world. Its sad that Filipinos doesn't see what other nation sees us. Whenever we are called like this-and-like that by other nation, we cry foul raise our eyebrows and say "don't mess with Filipinos." As if! This are the only times that Filipinos get united. To fight those criticizes our country. While the fight for graft and corruption continues.

Sen. Bong Revilla need not to react on Alec Baldwin by saying "Let him try to come to the Philippines and he’ll see mayhem." As a law maker, you have other issues to worry about than a silly joke made on a late night television. I heard Cavite has a big issue on traffic, aren't we both from there?

We are a 3rd World Country. Filipinos biggest dream is to live the American dream. In order to do that, we either become caregivers, nannies and servants. There is nothing wrong with that.

Why can't we just accept what other nation sees us and start a wave of change. We are already in the map, punched by Manny Pacquiao, belted out by Charice Pempengco and Lea Salonga. And whenever we get typecasted as nannies remember what Precious Lara Quigaman said on Ms. International. Even though it was only a rumor. The speech is worth it to be a reminder.

“I take no offense on being typecasted as a nanny. But i do take offense that the educated people of the world have somehow denigrated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. Let me tell you what she is. She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself. She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. So to those who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. It is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. And for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture.”

Pacman Knocks out Hatton!

2009-05-03T12:18:00.000+08:00

Everyone was sited on their own spot, eyes on the television watching and cheering Pacman. The lucky singer who won the bidding to sing for the coveted fight starts with our National Anthem. The television network covering the fight gets all the rating and all the commercials are squeezed in. It was bigger than the announcement of becoming a President.

It was a fiasco! Politicians flew in Vegas to see their cock win. It was a million-billion money event. Not just by the cost of handling it but in combination with all the bets. This was the moment when all our money paid in our taxes is put by greedy politicians into a game of chance.

Everyone in anticipation and hopes for Manny to win, in return, we should hope to shed a light to those politicians greed-fully used our money to somehow return the amount they bet.

Luckily, Pacman scored. He won by knocking out Ricky Hatton on the second round. It was a very short fight. It should have been played longer.

For that short moment of time our country was in Peace. The crime rate went down as previously reported on every Pacman fights. The malls are vacated and the street of The Philippines are clear. The only digits that went up are the television rating, the exposure and the bets.

I wasn't able to see the fight live, but I was able picture what happened clearly. It was the greatest fight on earth. And with the help of Youtube.com, I witnessed how are man Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao knocks out Ricky "Hitman" Hatton with his left punch.

Dancing with Tango

2009-05-02T12:45:00.000+08:00

Ever since I can remember. I have been an animal lover. From dogs to cats, from fishes to turtle, from rats to rabbit. I've experience having them as pets.

When I was a little boy. Whenever I hear stray kittens crying. I would look for them and bring them home. Even though my mom disagrees with these actions she allows me to keep them. However kittens that young usually don't survive a playful child.

We had a dog named Brownie. A mongrel white house dog living way back in our old place in Anabu, Imus, Cavite. The dog was older than me. I grew up with her. She was a companion and a playmate to me. Our house stands near the highway. So It was no surprise that she got hit by a car eventually.

Katya, named by my brother after Katya Santos. Was given to me by my cousin when we moved in Palico, Imus, Cavite. Being the new kid in town, I didn't know anyone and I remember playing with her all the time. She was my best friend. A very trusted dog and a good guard. Katya passed away during the time there was a lot of robbery happening in the village. Our neighbors' dogs are suddenly passed away and Katya was one of them. My mom thinks the dogs were poisoned.

A friend from High school came from a field trip in Laguna. She brought with her a very cute rabbit with blue eyes. I wasn't able to join the field trip and it was thoughtful of her to give it to me. My mom named him Kim. A very lovely rabbit that sleeps next to my mom. She was very fond of Kim. Whenever she goes around the house Kim would always follow her. Kim died when my brother placed him outside the house.

I also experienced having white rats. Dagang Costa as they call it. I got them from a Perya (circus). Which I eventually let go after a few days of having them.

When I went to college. I decided to try aquatic pets. I bought a 15 gallons aquarium and filled it with different fishes. Knowing different kind if fishes don't live well together, a lot of them died. So I focused on one kind of fish, the Frontosa, a family of Cichlids. And upgraded my aquarium into 40 gallons.

During this time. I also had a turtle named Neptune. He was a red ear turtle I bought. He grew big however his life cut short when, once again my brother placed him outside. We think he got bitten by a rat or something having marks on his shell and some part of his skin.

I lost interest with aquatic pets. They are delicate, hard to maintain and you can't play with them. My aquarium was taken over my brother and placed two flower horn.

After years of not having a pet, except those maintained online like the moshi monsters, or the ones in facebook. My interest of having a pet came back when my best friend wishes a dog for his birthday. We planned for him to have a female shih tzu to be named Samba, and I would have a male shih tzu named Tango. So when the two grew up, they'll have babies we could profit from.

His birthday is happening soon. But before it happens, we decided to buy a male shih tzu first. Male shih szu are less expensive than females and since I had money that time, we figured we should get one rather than spending the money for some other stuff.

We went to Cartimar, we looked around and found this really cute shih tzu slightly expensive than the others. But he was the most playful to us and so we thought of getting it. What's an additional cash worth for years of happy moments? right?

So we got him, a princess type male shih tzu and as previously agreed on. I named him TANGO.

Portraits from the Green

2009-04-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

Eric feels that his photography skill are getting rusty. So last weekend we went to U.P. Diliman and took his friends for an all day photo shoot. It was our first experimental photography collaboration. He shoots and direct. I do the post processing of the photos.

Our inspiration came from a photo Eric saw online with a summer-vintage feel on it. It became our reference for the shoot.

It wasn't all Eric who took photos. I also did some shooting and had some satisfying results :)

Translucence

2009-03-23T11:07:00.000+08:00

The A-Lounge Photography and Design team is a tandem of photographers Apy Arevalo and Ardin Tuga. They had a project shoot called Translucence. It was held last February 28 at the Indios Bravos studio.

I was there after noon. I had a chance to meet Apy and Ardin. They were very professional and accommodating. They were able to make me feel comfortable—a trait every photographer should have. I thought Apy was very pretty and Ardin looks like Ely Buendia, that makes him good looking as well. Kinda like me.

They showed me the frames on every takes. It was a real delight. They explained to me what will happen after it run through the post processes. And it was exactly what I anticipated. Although, I thought my charms are slightly stripped off as I see the photo very manipulated. But I still like it. It was a real nice experience.

Save The Elephants

2009-03-23T10:28:00.000+08:00

We all have a vote, and every single vote counts. Together we can take control of the future of our planet, for future generations.

VOTE EARTH by simply switching off your lights for one hour, and join the world for Earth Hour.

Saturday, March 28, 8:30-9:30pm.

Visit the following sites and join in the campaign to save our planet.
http://www.earthhour.org/
http://www.voteearth2009.org/

de-pollute

2009-03-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

My good friend Ken's design was chosen for the Design By Humans t-shirt contest. The piece was called de-pollute which—according to him— means to remove pollution.

It is now available for order at the Design By Humans' website. Its printed on black shirt and comes with different sizes for male and females.

Join DBH and vote for his other designs:
http://www.designbyhumans.com/humans/detail/64587

Licensed to Drive

2009-03-14T09:12:00.000+08:00

It's been in my head for almost three months now.

December last year, it expired, my driver's license. It was my permit to be seated on the left front of the car. A proof that allows me to take command of the wheel. I've been willing to renew it but I just couldn't find a time to actually do so. I work form Mondays to Fridays. And on Saturdays, the Land Transportation Office is closed.

It wasn't a problem at all. Only, it was my only valid government I.D. according to the reception area over at ABS-CBN because they are not taking my voters I.D. as a valid one.

I know right? I have been working there for 4 weeks and my photo has already been taken for the proximity pass I.D. It wasn't my fault that their stack for the proximity pass they use for the I.D. went to zero. I already did my part. They should have already issued me a temporary pass but they didn't. I had to beg the lady guard at the reception area to validate my voters I.D. and allow me to pass so I could do my work. But she doesn't. I had to call my HR from the 9th floor so he could sponsor me as his guest and allowed me to come up.

When I finally get a chance to skip for work because of a health appointment. I woke up really early so I could renew my license. Knowing that the transportation office is just across the highway from where our village stood. I thought it'd be quick and easy.

I got there around eight o'clock, there was a short line and only few people were there. My hopes went up, I could be done by an hour.

Did you know that you have to add in your Tin number along with the renewal or new application of license? Yes, apparently it was a rule sent out from the Malacanang Palace. A lot of people were annoyed and was ignorant of this rule. I was a victim too but luckily I sent out an SMS and have it send to me.

After I had my urine analyzed for a drug test. I went to the renewal counter. Only to find out that I had forgotten to do the medical and guess what? They needed a photocopy of the BIR Form for proof. I thought it was absurd. But it didn't let me down knowing I only live a walking distance from the office. So before I took my medical exam for driving, I called my mom and had Eric bring it to me.

Finally, after the exam I went back and they took my picture and signature. I smiled knowing that I will be able to get this over it before 9 a.m.

It was quarter to 10 a.m. and my name hasn't been called. A lot of buzz and annoyed people are talking about the computer being offline and that the process is delayed and so on and so forth.

I went to the cashier and asked if I still have to wait long. And yep, I have to wait a little more because the computers are offline. So I waited a little hour more.

The sun is really rising up and the heat is getting to everyone. My blood pressure is diagnosed to be normal but in this case I felt high blooded. I went to the cashier to confirm the real reason for why it is taking too long. And yes! she blamed the computers being offline. She said it just went up around 10 a.m., so I told her that your office should open at 10 a.m. She said that it wasn't their fault and patience is the only thing we can contribute.

I had to skip work because they have no office on Saturdays. But what really pisses me off is when she added that there is nothing else we can do about it.

I said to my self, fuck off! I studied technology on college. I know there is a solution. What? Are their connections too slow? Are their computers out-dated? Why not upgrade? Don't blame technology for your stupid process.

I know all government agencies have their own issues but for this agency, they needed to be sure that each and every one of their applicants pays their taxes by obliging them to submit a photocopy of their BIR form. It was really frustrating to know that they couldn't upgrade or fix their process.

I had to cool down. I just asked if I could have someone picked it up. It was almost 11 a.m. when I went back to our house. I ate lunch, took a bath and had cool down.

It was passed 1 p.m. when I went back to get my license But it wasn't available instantly. We had to wait a few more minutes before we were able to get it. The office is already filled with frustrated applicants waiting for their luck.

I finally got my card. What a disappointment. I had to pay 498 pesos due to penalties and waited 5 hours to have my card solidify. And they could not find a way to fix their fucked up process.

T.V. Boy Mad'L 12"

2009-03-14T09:07:00.000+08:00

I bought my 12" Mad"l do it yourself toy months ago from the Freshmanila toy sale.

Since its head is square, I thought of making it an aquarium-like design and have little fishes on it.

I did the sketches and had it painted but the output threw me off. So I had to scrap the paint off and think of a different design.

This came to me instantly; I decided to make its head a T.V. and have the body look like a cabinet.

So I had it all planned. I'll paint the head part the colors of the T.V. You know the colors that appears when you have no signal. And then I'll paint the body brown with black lines to make it appear like a cabinet.

Time is the one thing I needed but was being neglected from me. Whenever I get home, I was already tired and want to go to bed early instead.

It was only this week that I was able to finish it. I used the acrylic tube paints which I used before with my other self designed toys. I hope you like this one. I know it was simple but I made it from my heart.

A Newbie

2009-02-27T13:32:00.000+08:00

It was only a weekend apart. I woke up at 6 am thinking about work. At 6 am—I was already late, but I wasn't. I no longer work in Ortigas.

It wasn't the dream job, it was a job I was considering of having when I stepped into the real world and It wasn't the dream company, it was a company I was considering to work for.

After I graduated, I sent out a copy of my resume along with my portfolio to all the company on my list of company to work for. Advertising agencies are my first target, television networks, web designing studios and lastly software development companies.

Convenience, benefits, salary and the company's reputation are the main factors I was considering. I went to job interviews one after another. I brought along with me all my printed published designs and a CD which contains an interactive portfolio I designed my self. While most of the companies were web designing studios, their offer were a little stiff.

It took me a while to finally get hired. After being let down by the companies I was hoping to call back. It lower my expectations until I was lucky to receive a call from the only decent wed designing studio I applied for, The Design People.

While working there was a breeze, I considered to shift gear when another company offered me a job. It was a blood squirting battle that went through my head. Like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. And when I finally stop spinning, I have decided to take my chances on a bigger opportunity.

Abs-Cbn is one of the company I considered to work for after I graduated. They offered me a bigger salary, benefits and more than 50 years of reputation. While the convenience part isn't really happening right now, knowing that I live in Imus, Cavite. I think it could be worked out. I just need to find a near place to rent.

While others blog about their first day of work... I waited a week. I wouldn't want to give out my first impressions. I want to experience being really on the job and knowing my job. And in order to do that, I have to wait a week and have my first assignments before I could talk about my job.

I work in ABSi, Abs-Cbn's interactive department under the online operations. We do web updates, banner ads and other online marketing strategies, that's as far as I know. My first task was to make flash ads for TFC Now! This ads will be posted on Abs-Cbn websites and other subsidiaries and affiliates which would be viewable outside the country. It reminded me of the night training I had with Wideout Technologies. Making flash ads of movies and television shows.

I was also given the chance to redesign the Abs-Cbn chat page and make a video page for an Adidas live online coverage event. While in my previous job, I only convert ready made designs into web pages and flash. Here in ABSi, I get to do my own designs.

However, I still couldn't weigh how heavy the work load is given. All I know is that the process is a lot different from my previous work. And just like what I have experienced before, I've learned that the first few weeks are the adapting stage.

Like clouds on the sky, I felt like floating in mid air. My mind wasn't focus. Still adjusting on the process and work load. Things had changed. I no longer set my alarm clock to 4am. Having to have a flexible time, I no longer worry about the traffic and getting to my work place in time. And once I have adapted to my new environment—pretty soon—I will become a full blooded Kapamilya!

7 months ago...

2009-02-17T12:22:00.000+08:00

About thirty one weeks and exactly 219 days ago. I stepped into this unknown place. Unsure about things and what lies beneath the darkness of ignorance. Unspoken and mime of my opinions. Hesitant to find the right path to lightness.

My day starts at quarter to 4 am. No hesitations or tardiness of leaving the house. I wait for a bus—going to Ortigas, Cubao or even Olongapo. If I was lucky, I get to sit. Most days I stood inside the bus and wait for a passenger to vacate a sit. I offer the vacancies to an elder or a female—hence chivalry lives— else, I sit. I try to sleep at times or just listen to music until I get to hear someone yelling Oh Megamall na!, that's my cue.

From EDSA I walked about 15 minutes and elevates 21 floors to get here. I put down my stuff and I begin to check how my day is gonna be. Light, heavy, moderate. That's how the work flows on me. Until I get used to it. I learned to balance my time depending on the workload. I take breaks in the morning and on lunch. I eat with people I've only met here—who are once upon a time were in the same position as I was.

The people I work with, the people I was truly honest and open about everything, the people I truly consider as real friends. It's sad to know that I will be leaving them, 3 days from now.

Unexpectedly, a month ago I received a call from the people I wanna work with. I have been trying to get in there for quite some time before I was given an opportunity to work here. I was excited and before I knew it, I was making the hardest decision I have encountered yet. It took me some time to decide. I asked for advice from friends, family and the person that matters most to me. I lay down my cards and toss it around. And the result was a career wise and professional growth decision.

Three weeks ago, I was able to confirm my chances. The next day, I talked and discuss to my immediate leader about my decision. She was sadden—a normal reaction I receive from the people I will be leaving. I was sadden of course. I wouldn't want to leave a familiar place, people and the usual routine I've been doing.

That same three-weeks-ago I handed my resignation letter to—not just the Department head, but my friend. It was a hard thing for me to do. I'm not just leaving my boss, but I was breaking her heart as well. But I have to do this for my self. Its a challenge I'm willing to take, I have no fall back, no guarantees, but I'm sure to learn.

I am glad to have experience being part of The Design People. It was my first real job experience. It thought me a lot of things and I've learned so much. Not only I've gain friends but I also earned a family. If in the future I will be given the opportunity to work here again. I would jump on to the first sit and take this roller coaster ride once again, because I know it is something worth coming back for.

Now, that I am clearing my desk and soon, I will be stepping onto another unknown place. It's a happenstance. Aside from the support I'll be given, I know I'll be alright, because, exactly 219 days ago I have already been here.

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

CKH Photoshoot (2)

2009-02-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

Previous post: CKH Photoshoot (1)

Eye Candy

2009-02-09T15:29:00.000+08:00

Eye Candy was a project shoot campaign by photographer Ash Castro. It was held last January 17 over at the Indios Bravos studio in Makati. The theme was very colorful, thus, eye candy.

I was glad to be part of it. Even though I was very uncomfortable—I wasn't sure on how to act around and I wasn't feeling good about how I looked or how I was styled (hair & make-up).

Below are two of my shots from the Eye Candy Project shoot. I look very different on the photos and the treatment was very different from what I am used to. But I was glad to have the experience.

And I must agree on how it was made feel... like candies.

Heraldo Filipino Reunion Dinner

2009-02-04T06:40:00.000+08:00

Heraldo Filpino is the Official Student Publication of De La Salle University- Dasmarinas. I was lucky to be part of it from 2006-2008. Even luckier to be the Chief Layout Artist in charge of the visual aesthetics of the publication.

I met my good friend Celine at MOA and went straight to Blue Wave for the HF Reunion Dinner at Gerry's Grill last Sunday, February 1. It was after we had a photo shoot for CHK.

I was expecting to see some of my close buddies but most of them were from the current batch who were having their major exams the next day. Others were busy. While some of them expects to get out of place, so they manage not to show up.

I was only there for about half an hour. I wasn't able to meet all of the peeps who came, especially the late ones (as if I was early). I thought it'll be awkward, but it wasn't. Even my ex-girlfriend was there and we manage to have a picture together (who's camera was it? can somebody send it to me.).

I was able to have a small chat with George (digiputz.com), and other alumnus. It was short yet pleasant. We were able to take some few pictures before I left and I was able to grabbed them from their accounts. Below are those I grabbed from Ms. Upper Viceo (Roam Magazine's Editor-in-Chief).

CKH Photoshoot (1)

2009-02-02T09:48:00.000+08:00

CKH (Certain Kind Of Hue) is a collaborative photography effort between Embracing Gunfire's bass guitar player Paolo Ruiz (paoloruiz.com) and Rick Manzano of Project Manila (projectmanila.com).

Last Sunday we had a photo shoot at the U.P. Sunken Garden along with Mich, and Ken of designsyrup.com. Below are two (set) photos I got from Paolo.
I will be posting more photos soon.
Jump to post: CKH Photoshoot (2)

UnDecided

2009-01-27T14:59:00.000+08:00

It was Carlo's birthday (January 24, 2009) that brought us (well, not all) together. A rare occasion—especially all of us are working now— to see each other. We had 6 pitchers of Badtrip (a mix with vodka), some of them had buckets of beer and some Pulutan. It destroyed my diet, I gained 3 lbs the next day.

The night was field with kamustahan. Carlo—the birthday boy— is still working for the British outsourced firm, Ayen—the only girl— had change work from San Miguel to Shell, Val was still in Cypres—in front of Intel based in Cavite, Gimo was in BPI and Wilbert is taking management training for Tokyo Tokyo. Of course, I was asked as well.

It was the usual how are you?, how's life? and what have you been doing?. Questions that I normally answers with I'm fine, Life is good and Still doing the same old thing. This set of questions normally asked by old acquaintances, who had the chance to see each other again made me restructure, reprocessed or rethink how I want my life to be, how I want others to see how my life is, and how I will be living my life to the fullest.

I told my friends I had an offer from another company. I didn't say which company. I told them about the factors I'm considering. They told me to get the offer. I was still very hesitant during that time and I was still unsure about the offer.

I suddenly want to remember my dreams—all blurry and full of uncertainty. It became clouded by the events I encountered during the past years of my life. Now I want to make it right and I want to make it clear.

Do you remember when you are little—when you were asked about your ambition—you want to be a doctor? Me too! But as life flows and weather changes occurs. Your fastest "I want to be a doctor" answer to what's your ambition—coping to how your life is evolving— becomes... you answer?.

Sometimes, in following your dreams, becomes other people's dream. In making decisions, you need not to decide what most people advises you. Decide on your own and for your own. What ever the outcome is, you have to face it head on. Now that I was faced by a decision. A choice that would affect my life. I have to clear my head to decide, I want this for myself. Considering all the factors, or not? It is a hard choice I have to make.

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." ~ Flora Whittemore

One Long Saturday

2009-01-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

It was the day I had a photo shoot. We were already in Makati when the sun hit directly straight up in the sky. I was scheduled to take poses in front of photographer Ash Castro for his campaign. Sweets, candies, colors and all. I was a little uncomfortable the way I look. The way others are looking at me. The way my I was styled. I got stiffed in front of the camera. But I'm hopeful there were some good shots that was taken.

After the photo shoot. When the sun slightly bended towards the west. We went to The High Street of The Fort and we end up having our own photo session.

It wasn't all clicks. We also went to see more Rolitolands and Qee's Space Monkey by DALEK over at Hobbes and Landes as well at Maxiworks. We ate at Pancake House for the Chicken we so misses so yummy! And we went to Market! Market! and bought some music.

After all the walking, binges, and clicks. The sun started to vanish from our sight. We decided to call it a day. As we were about to go straight home to the south we end up going to Alabang Town Center.

Were not always in town (center). It was not a familiar place. So we stroll around and checked the shops. Our friend Jaki invited us for a night out in Malate over a text message. There's still time left, so after strolling the mall and seeing the shops. We decided to rest our eyes on the silver screen, consume time and wait for the night life to start.

There was Bedtime Stories starring Adam Sandler, the talk of town movie of Benjamin Botton's curious case, and the chick flick film of Hudson and Hathaway. We were undecided which movie to see so we had play it by luck. Mini mini miny moe, babalik babalik sa dati. It was the Kate Hudson-Anne Hathaway movie or should I say Anne Hathaway-Kate Hudson movie that we sat down at.

Anne Hathaway took the lead in this movie, or you may think other wise. I thought Hathaway had more spots but Hudson had more laughs. It was a funny movie from the start to the end. A fill good friendship slash chick flick movie with predictable ending. It was not a waste of money but rather I saw it on DVD.

We went straight to our house in Cavite before going to Malate. We met Jaki at Robinson's Place Ermita and then we went straight to a bar where Radha surprisingly graced a performance.

After all the vodka, blinking lights, heart thumping beats and screaming crowd. The night has ended for us and we were having hot chocolates at Cafe Adriatico.

It was time to go home. The wheels of the car rolled towards the south once again. It was minutes before 4 am when I lay in my bed. It was all blurry and I was so very tired. I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. I sigh and said to my self... what a long day. Then I passed out.

Rolitoland is my Happy place

2009-01-18T18:58:00.000+08:00

Rolitoland is a line of toy from Hong-Kong based toy manufacturer Toy2R. It was another toys my interests got caught in when I saw some of them over at Hobbes and Landes.

I was upset about toys that night. I was made felt that It was bad to buy toys as expensive as these and that I may be offending other people when buying these kinds of toys. I was made felt that I was selfish and that i have no concern about living in a third world country. And the saddest part about it was I was made felt that the only thing that makes me happy, lately, was wrong.

I was with Eric that night to buy some clothes I needed for a photo shoot I was attending the next day. We were at Greenbelt 5 when we passed by Hobbes and Landes. Eric bought me 2 sets of Rolitoland to cheer me up. Set B and D. [The next day after the shoot we bought another 2 set, F and E. Now there's only set A and C that I'm missing.] It really did cheer me up. Hopefully I'll be able to complete them all.

Although I should have got over it. It was still stuck in my head. I don't start my sentence with no offense. I don't like being judge there for I make it a point not to judge what makes other people happy. I always think its their life, not mine. So being put on a spotlight and being judge for what I enjoy is a hard thing for me to take.

Toys like these makes me happy. And Im not trying to offend anyone, and if I do, I'm not the only one buying these kinds of toys. And I don't force you of buying one for me. I use my own money. I took my time and I didn't bother you.

We are all into different things, we all have different likes. Some of us may think unworthy of what others treasures. Some of us sees things that wasn't in others view. Others enjoy miniatures and anime figures and some enjoy building blocks toys and G.I. Joes. Some of us prefer taking photos while other prefers being photograph. Others find books entertaining while some enjoy it visualized on screen.

We all find different satisfactions in things, in what we do, and in how we see them. We choose what we think is better not what others think is best. I've learn that life is not all about pleasing other people. Its about satisfying your heart's thirst for happiness. All of us varies in so many choices and lifestyle thats why we have all been given liberty. There is no such thing as no offense, It only becomes offensive when you start judging.

An Afternoon at the Manila Ocean's Park

2009-01-10T18:31:00.000+08:00

It was not my first time at The Manila Ocean's Park. I had checked it out before and had taken some pictures.
This time around, we were with my mom and my nephew Andres.

It was a Saturday, and as expected seeing fishes in the big tank is like seeing fishes in the market. It was so chaotic. There are a lot of families and students taking their field trip. We weren't able to take good pictures. Hopefully the next time we visit is on a Monday morning which I would doubt it'll happen because of work, makes me want to focus on business instead hehehe.