Elitist Snob: Mac snobbery and such

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-11-08

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:15:00 +0000

"Is it over?" #threewordsaftersex #
New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse. http://bit.ly/riXzp #
Just came from watching Zombieland with @gwardwell. AWESOME movie! Best slow death scene ever, with Bill Murray. #
Pantless Friday. The disrobing begins. #
Carpet cleaner: "We can't make it Saturday. Our guy has swine flu. How about Mon?" Me: "Will that include free Hamthrax infection? No thnx." #
Why don't the police bring Angela Lansbury into the Ft. Hood shooting case? She could have the whole thing solved in one episode. #
Disembodied head of Senator presides over hearings. http://yfrog.com/j491bj http://bit.ly/2ZHNRo #
"Make up sex. It's worth fighting for." Great quote. #
Apple Mail – why the hell do you save phantom drafts of emails that I've already sent out – days ago? It's ok, you can let them go. Fly free #
Gasoline + Stupid = Garbage Burning FAIL http://bit.ly/281PKd #
Damn it! I missed the premiere of V tonight. You win again, attention deficit disorder! #
Delicious snacks distract Congressmen during Senate hearings. http://bit.ly/33ZQL4 #
"She was just a normal kid. Not some fat, dumb, Mormon fuck face who should have drank herself to death…" http://bit.ly/2fo9QP #
Oh, Aston. Why must you seduce me with your dazzling designs and sexy sports coupes that I'll never be able to afford? http://bit.ly/44xqnR #
Tarzan enjoyed playing with monkeys, especially alone in the bushes. http://bit.ly/2b4871 #
Listening to "Gay" by Stephen Lynch. This song always makes me laugh. http://bit.ly/4dKyEj #
Follow the TB Crew: @Jon4Lakers, @BrandonMiniman, @armintalic, @LassePulkkinen, @thegadgetjunky1, @elitistsnob, @vforvindiesel, @Mb_chris #
Imminent impact @MacHeist (151.7,174.4) Witness it and get DaisyDisk ($20) for FREE to reclaim GBs of space on your Mac! http://macheist.com #
RT @TechnoBuffalo Info: Launch day giveaway: PS3 Slim – http://cuthut.com/xp3 #
˙spɹɐʍʞɔɐq os ˙ɹnoɥ ǝuo ʞɔɐq ןןoɹ oʇ ƃuıʌɐɥ – ǝɯıʇ sƃuıʌɐs ʇɥƃıןʎɐp ɯoɹɟ/oʇ uoıʇısuɐɹʇ ǝɥʇ ǝsıdsǝp ı #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-11-01

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:15:00 +0000

The morning after Halloween – why hasn't the city cleaned up all the candy and bodies of mutilated children from sidewalks. It's unsightly. #
Mighty Mouse unboxing video posted. http://bit.ly/OAyT0 #
My Magic Mouse has arrived. Unboxing and first impressions to follow. #
How to properly masquerade your gay son this Halloween: http://bit.ly/2J0JOS #
Playing with shell scripts in OSX, and bending them to my will. Each terminal command is an underpants-soiling adventure. #
There is something lewd to me about a giant button on a shipping website that reads "Track your package". #
Came home to find a package at my door, hoping it to be the new Magic Mouse I ordered. Instead this was inside.. http://yfrog.com/78m17hj #
New 27" iMac wallpaper http://bit.ly/1NZXi0 #
Deleted scene from Star Trek film – with Klingons! http://bit.ly/3LVRMg #
Awesome 3D display technology. I must have this… I must! http://bit.ly/1kQr7o #
One of the most beautiful combinations of musical score and cinematography ever. Excellent sound and CGI. http://bit.ly/2Hm0Cd #
Anyone have a Google Wave invite they would like to share? #
Microsoft cancels sponsored Family Guy episode. Thank God. http://bit.ly/ScT8F #
The writer that reviewed this seven-layer Windows 7 BK Whopper must have died shortly after from beef overdose. http://bit.ly/xsUXf #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-10-25

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:15:00 +0000

Just helped a friend move his family into their new home. My hands are so swollen from lifting that my fingers look like sausages. The pain! #
Windows 7 is DLLicious! #
Tip: Never accept a free horror flick from a friend. Especially when it's "Paranormal Activity". Farewell clean underpants. #
Order new Apple Magic Mouse: check. Begin agonizing long wait for mouse to arrive: check. Say goodbye to $70: check. #
Seriously… this is the longest the Apple Store has been down outside of a keynote. What's the deal here? #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-10-18

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:15:00 +0000

Just went to the grocery store to pick up some Land O' Lakes Butter, and the check-out scanner read as "LOL butter." Made my day. #
Getting a Javascript function to do my bidding, and chew some variables. Ah, to be a geek on Friday night. #
Watching @thebrawnyman slip into a diabetic coma after eating an insulin-obliterating Banaba cream cake. He's sweating sugar out his pores. #
Where the Wild Things Are opens today. Anyone planning to go see? #
The utter lack of proper standard CSS support in IE6 makes me want to bludgeon every Microsoft employee to death with a broken stylesheet. #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-10-11

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:15:00 +0000

Palm Pre submerged in beer – returns home late and receives angry interrogation from wife. All for want of an iPhone. http://bit.ly/pJqM7 #
Awesomely good paintings done on the iPhone. http://bit.ly/m9fxl #
Looked out my window just in time to see the neighbor's dog pissing on my tires. I'm having an automated canine death ray installed. #
Getting my ass handed to me by @thebrawnyman in CounterStrike. #
Wow. 3:00pm and only just now received my first VIAGRA spam of the day. I'm concerned that spammers may be losing interest in my penis. #
Learning to h4×0r Javascript. IM in UR Int3rN3t, V4L1D4ting UR f0rms. #
Follow me on gdgt: http://user.gdgt.com/elitistsnob/ #gdgt #
AT&T's solution to spotty 3G coverage is shutting off access in my area completely – spreading the suck equally among customers. #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-08-02

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:15:00 +0000

Want to know whos stalking you on twitter!?: http://TwitViewer.net #
@gwardwell I never said it was safe, only large enough to accommodate me. Well, myself and several other people. in reply to gwardwell #
@lavystar This could explain why Amber alerts always make me hungry for Pizza. Never mind the missing children, find my damned pepperoni! in reply to lavystar #
@gwardwell You dirtbag. Now even the internet is no longer a safe haven. Leaving me with only the library or your mom's skirt to hide under. in reply to gwardwell #
My neighbor's children are always screaming. "I want Pizza!" "I want to watch SpongeBob!!!" "Help! I'm being abducted!!!" So damned annoying #
Ahhhh! Diet Mountain Dew… Zero calories and enough caffeine to kill a man in his seventies. #
@gwardwell Your body won't survive but your head will live on. in reply to gwardwell #
@gwardwell Toilets offer a quick and easy escape from your home in the invent of zombie invasion. Hey, it works in Disney films. in reply to gwardwell #
@matthickey If she kisses anywhere lower you have to pay MUCH extra. in reply to matthickey #
@lavystar it's on my list. Right along with brains. Oh noes!!! I've been infected. Brains! in reply to lavystar #
Step 2: erect an enormous wall constructed of Lego building blocks and cheetos. Fact: Cheetos repel zombies, like garlic to vampires. #
Preparing contingency plan for the impending Zombie apocalypse. Step 1: stock up on a month's supply of smoked oysters and Robert Mondavi. #
@thebrawnyman Just shave your head (as I do) and no longer impress anyone. Problem solved. in reply to thebrawnyman #
@om in the Midwest (IN-OH-MI) Verizon offers far better coverage and quality of service. in reply to om #
@BrentSpiner 1 ticket to ComicCon: $10. Autograph of Brent Spiner: $1,000. Proving P.T. Barnum was right: Priceless. in reply to BrentSpiner #
@MikeTRose sending her off to the Gulag, er Summer camp eh? in reply to MikeTRose #
@panache Vidrar vel til loftarasa is my favorite. The video is… Intersting. o_O in reply to panache #
@thebrawnyman so he's like Charles Bronson, only armed with Xcode and a really badass iPhone app? Exactly how I pictured him. in reply to thebrawnyman #
Best headline error ever: "rather than paying attention to the play the President spent the evening entering Mrs. Galt. http://bit.ly/1U0xHv #
It amuses me to see rednecks wearing what they think to be the Confederate flag, in fact wasn't. Rather fitting – stupid piled on stupid. #
@panache Oh say it ain't so, Joe! Say it ain't so! How could you enjoy a monster flick where the monster is only the backdrop to the plot? in reply to panache #
@panache Please tell me that was sarcasm. Please! in reply to panache #
Dear God. These latest Snow Leopard desktops are horrible. A Cat humping a rock and picture of somebody's table cloth? http://bit.ly/3HcTl #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-07-26

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:15:00 +0000

@gwardwell Why not generate some revenue by opening a Chlorinated-Lemonade stand – call it Chleminade. You'll flush your well and earn cash in reply to gwardwell #
How is it that the US military can't find Osama Bin Laden, yet I found him in two seconds by doing a Google search query? #
Thank god rebooting made the scary red lights go away. This probably has something to do with yesderday's power outage. Looking at you REMC #
Oh crumbs! I just noticed the inside of my Mac Pro is lit up like a bloody Christmas tree – red lights blinking on my FBRAM cards. Not good. #
@Ihnatko I'm sorry, you appear to be running an older version of Flash. Please download the latest version in order to see my reply. in reply to Ihnatko #
Further proof that damp sweaty pockets are no place for an iPhone. Which is why I carry mine under my hat. http://bit.ly/rZBxO #
If Abraham Lincoln was our first Gay president, Woodrow Wilson our first pussy President. Make love, not war – my ass! #
Watching the History Channel's expose of Abraham Lincoln. Our first Gay president. Or was he? #
That said… I've decided this will be the final investment I make in this truck – I'm buying a new car next spring. Mazda 3 or a VW Jetta? #
The painful monetary cost of brake repair is offset by peace of mind; having the ability to stop a half-ton pickup at intersections. WIN! #
Secret of Monkey Island Special edition released for iPhone! Monkey Island comes to iPhone! *swoons and faints* http://tinyurl.com/n9puek #
TechnoBuffalo closed beta invites will be sent randomly to Twitter followers starting late next week. (via @TechnoBuffalo) #
As further ass-rape, Sears is holding me hostage for almost 3 hours. THREE FUCKING HOURS! #
Cheese and crackers! This brake repair will cost me $600! Oh the pain! #
@gwardwell a much faster way of removing old carpeting is to douse it in lighter fluid and strike a match. Poof! Disappears before your eyes in reply to gwardwell #
Overheard: "Now Tater, don't you go spoilin your dinner on Doritos" That's right, Tater. We're havin Possum! #
Sitting next to a group of filthy rednecks in Sears waiting room only ads insult to injury. I'm actualy paying for this experience. #
Android overtakes Windows Mobile in smartphone Internet use both in US and worldwide. Excellent: http://bit.ly/1pVBc (via @chartier) #
Sitting in Sears Auto center having brakes replaced. What a way to spend a Saturday afternoon. So bored. #
The intemittent power outages are beginning stir my inner Hulk. Smash! #
#
@gwardwell Sh#t uP dud. I kAzn re3d ph1ne. I#m z3nd1ing thus FrUm mI MakBook Whe3l. R U JaIlus? Bet U R. in reply to gwardwell #
Reading Apple's iPhone developer TOS. Only a fucking lawyer to could comprehend this. Blah blah blah, don't do this or we'll sue you, blah. #
@acedtect Just fell out of my chair at the unexpected of appearance of Tom Merritt on History Channel's Vampire Secrets! What the hell?!?! #
@Enderle You now both the MOST QUOTED and MISQUOTED man in tech. Double win! in reply to Enderle #
William Shatner is a national treasure. When he passes our world will have less meaning. http://bit.ly/h3M8k #
AT&T CEO nervously laughs off end of iPhone contract, says "Hey! Look…a rainbow-colored pony!" then flees in terror. http://bit.ly/8vMvq #
I'm definitely scoring a Watchmen DVD (Director's Cut) but I must…MUST see Harry Potter a second time this weekend. If not I will implode. #
@lavystar *GASP*! How could I have forgotten?!?!? Watchmen is out on DVD! Watchmen Director's Cut FTW!!! in reply to lavystar #
Wow, my tweets are getting duller than a butterknife. Time to fall back to my saucy style of insulting the elderly, disabled, and Walmart. #
Looking forward to a return to freelance tech writing. I have a couple jobs lined up that look very exciting. #
@cdwardwell Best-in-the-word husband? What?!?! You've remarried? That's wonderful news! I'm glad you traded up to a better spouse. in reply to cdwardwell #
Clear American Sky A Constant Reminder Of Industrial Inferiority (to China) http://bit.ly/lsEJs #
@cdwardwell Those suggestions sound more like they came from your odious bastard husband. in reply to cdwardwell #
In the mood for a movie this weekend, but unsure what to see. Suggestions? #
@thebrawnyman Pantlessfriday.com and campfirecode.com in reply to thebrawnyman #
Just registered two awesome domains. I have big plans for them. #
Pantless Friday has arrived. Celebrate. http://yfrog.com/5kdvxj #
Redneck tank top unashamedly disgraces the slogan "Wait till we get our Hanes on You" http://yfrog.com/72rxvj #
@thebrawnyman FYI: I'm spending my day off by hacking into Sweetwater's power-grid. This is but a taste of things to come. in reply to thebrawnyman #
@gwardwell Be thankfull you only read of my barely covered torso without surprising you at work, displaying my self-celebrated holiday. in reply to gwardwell #
Looking forward to a day off tomorrow – a day without pants. You didn't think I would allow you to forget "pantless Friday" did you? #
Listening to Third Eye Blind's self-titled album. This was the definitive (best) album of the late nineties. A classic http://bit.ly/8bCvU #
Hitler discovers his subtitle fonts are wrong. http://bit.ly/Nm92 (Will this meme ever die?) (via @veen) #
HTC turning its back on Windows Mobile? When your date to the dance looks for a new partner, it spells doom. http://bit.ly/KlAEN #
Inside Apple's bountiful earnings report lies rotten fruit. http://bit.ly/Kyu6Y #
This Fender Telecaster is gorgeous – I drool each time I see it up close. Too bad I haven't a clue how play guitar. http://bit.ly/JF4yw #
Weightbot is a beautiful app but it doesn't seem to work. I've been standing on my iPhone for minutes and the only I see is a busted screen #
Rocking out to Daughtry's latest album. Lots of great tracks. http://bit.ly/SiYA0 #
The history of Domokun. http://bit.ly/14dJgr #
@BrandonMiniman Don't tell me there is yet ANOTHER delay? My internal organs are shutting down from waiting. #
Mac sales up 16% in June. Erections among Mac fanboys up 300% and growing. http://bit.ly/59GCA #
Tom Wolfe speaks out on the failure of the U.S. space program…and I couldn't agree more. Sadly. http://bit.ly/nJmGt #
@lavystar So you're looking forward to your own death? in reply to lavystar #
TheOnion.com purchased by China for 13 billion Wan. All sources agree this is true and welcome our new Communist overlords. #
@gwardwell you're always emotionally unavailable. What about my needs? in reply to gwardwell #
Having lunch with @gwardwell while driving nails into my arms to drown out his boring conversation. Trust me, it's the only way. #
@alishagg Details. Details. in reply to alishagg #
Apple – here's an iPhone gesture you should implement: to reach the bottom of a long list instantly, turn the device upside down. Luv Kent #
@timnovinger But the more prescient question is… what are you having? in reply to timnovinger #
Giant wiener mistakes garage for bun… http://bit.ly/XUT3i #
Visual proof that OSX's Stack fan view is FAIL. http://twitpic.com/axvjr #
Jimmy Carter severs ties with Southern Baptists over gender equality issues: http://om.ly/?BASL GR (via @GuyKawasaki) #
Just realized a minor milestone is at hand… about to reach 400 Twitter followers. Just one more. #
Feeling bloated and over-indulgent. Going back on my diet, hardcore. #
Watching Ken Burns The Civil War. The best documentary ever filmed. #
Oh crumbs. Apparently my Comcast cable modem died, and can't be replaced until Wednesday. WEDNESDAY! How will I survive? #
And now my Comcast Internet service is down. Problems seem to come in pairs – like breasts. Well I have quit a rack, I must say. #
Firefox 3.5 has more holes than the Federal Highway system. I've never had to force quit an app so many damned times. #

Random Bits I Tweeted on 2009-07-19

Kent Pribbernow — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:15:00 +0000

Off to Fresh Market to buy more Banana bread. The secret ingredient is love… and lots of highly addictive sugars and sweeteners. #
District 9 looks totally rerarded. It and 2012 will be this summer's stinkers. #
After three years this Mac Pro is overdue for an enema. By that I mean a reinstall of OSX. Though I think the former would be less painfull #
@gwardwell It is but with more heat and lots of meat. That doesn't right. in reply to gwardwell #
@gwardwell No, you should be seeing a large mushroom cloud. in reply to gwardwell #
Just purchased new grill. Alert the Fort Wayne Fire department. A weekend of flame broiling and third-degree burns awaits! #
@thebrawnyman Yes, we are nerds… but in a cool way. Was that convincing? in reply to thebrawnyman #
Harry Potter was so good I'm thinking of seeing it again this weekend. How's that for an endorsement? You're a muggle if you don't see it. #
@timnovinger amen to both tweets. Photoshop is a clusterfuck… in reply to timnovinger #
T-minus 15 minutes until the beer is opened and pants come off. And not necessarily in that order. Don't judge me. It's Friday. #
@Jon4Lakers That takes real talent. Be proud of that. in reply to Jon4Lakers #
@chartier You miss the point, David. Palm has combined technology and feminine hygiene into one brilliant ad campaign. That's innovation. in reply to chartier #
You wouldn't think it possible to injure yourself while sitting behind a desk all day. Yet somehow I manage each day to walk home bruised #
@gwardwell Watching you steal artwork from other websites is both inspiring and mortifying. You are an artist; a thieving bastardly artist. #
Some crazy fool parked his car directly in front of a fire hydrant. That fool is me. Bastardly Friday antics in Fort Wayne. #
And I didn't think it was possible to make Katie Holmes look even more freightening. http://bit.ly/roVID #
@thebrawnyman I thought my exgirlfriend was the dumbest woman on the face of the earth. But she got rid of me, which was smart. FAIL/WIN in reply to thebrawnyman #
@thebrawnyman Did you forget your anniversary again? in reply to thebrawnyman #
@gwardwell Where do you heat your soup? Oh god, on second thought… I'd rather you not reveal, and that has a double meaning in reply to gwardwell #
@gwardwell That explains the mysterious corresponding stains on the seat of your pants, and office chair. in reply to gwardwell #
Greg @gwardwell complains incessantly. It's like working next to an elderly woman, minus the oder of ointment and soiled adult diapers. #
Campbell's Bitch & Noodle soup being served on the menu today? Because I know a few people who were served large bowls today. #
Kool-Aid: proudly spreading childhood obescity and carpet stains since 1954. #
So Harry Potter was well worth its ticket price. Great story, great acting, and even a few pant-shitting moments thrown in for good measure #
@lavystar totally. It was even worth sitting for three hours next to a guy who reeked of body oder. in reply to lavystar #
Ticket for Harry Potter: $9/ Watching it until 3 am in an overcrowded theater on a weeknight: 9/ Proving P.T. Barnum was right: Priceless #
How does one celebrate Bastille Day? Do we all form into an angry mob and storm our local prison, beheading public officials along the way? #
@BrandonMiniman I'll second that lament. I really lust after this smartphone, even in white. in reply to BrandonMiniman #
@kueblerwolf And a healthy slice of Ritalin-Rhubarb Pie. in reply to kueblerwolf #
Hah… yes, it's the Arthritisaurus Rex http://yfrog.com/591e0hj #
Where did I put that damned Recipe book? http://yfrog.com/c93q0j #
Flab overboard! http://yfrog.com/5e4y8j #
@thebrawnyman What the hell is that thing going to be used for, dare I ask? in reply to thebrawnyman #
I loved the Outlook 2010 demo, where the narrater describes its new UI as "very clean". No, it's a giant clusterfuck. http://bit.ly/5WCM2 #
Palm releases creepy new TV ad that looks more like a feminine hygiene product http://bit.ly/yKzh8 "Feel fresh as a summer breeze, with Pre" #
RT @GuyKawasaki "F*%#@*! Swearing makes pain more tolerable: http://om.ly/?qjS AC" in reply to GuyKawasaki #
@lavystar That may be the ONLY way to get a great seat. in reply to lavystar #
The Typography Manual for iPhone is so awesome! It has made me less incompetent as a designer. And that's no small feat. http://bit.ly/qbWje #
God damn Fandango and its illogical midnight timestamps! I nearly showed up for my movie on the wrong day! The wrong DAY! #
@chartier Awesome game to be sure, but my knickers burn for World of Goo. Won't someone… anyone… please bring it to iPhone? in reply to chartier #
So tempted to arrive at tomorrow's midnight premiere of Harry Potter wearing my Darth Vader costume. Don't mess with the dark side, bitches! #
AT&T's network is showing no 3G love to my iPhone. Been staring at that damned EDGE symbol all morning. #

Twittery Bits That Fell from My Brain on 2009-07-17

Kent Pribbernow — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:30:00 +0000

@timnovinger amen to both tweets. Photoshop is a clusterfuck… in reply to timnovinger #
T-minus 15 minutes until the beer is opened and pants come off. And not necessarily in that order. Don’t judge me. It’s Friday. #
@Jon4Lakers That takes real talent. Be proud of that. in reply to Jon4Lakers #
@chartier You miss the point, David. Palm has combined technology and feminine hygiene into one brilliant ad campaign. That’s innovation. in reply to chartier #
You wouldn’t think it possible to injure yourself while sitting behind a desk all day. Yet somehow I manage each day to walk home bruised #
@gwardwell Watching you steal artwork from other websites is both inspiring and mortifying. You are an artist; a thieving bastardly artist. #
Some crazy fool parked his car directly in front of a fire hydrant. That fool is me. Bastardly Friday antics in Fort Wayne. #
And I didn’t think it was possible to make Katie Holmes look even more freightening. http://bit.ly/roVID #

Twittery Bits That Fell from My Brain on 2009-07-16

Kent Pribbernow — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:30:00 +0000

@thebrawnyman I thought my exgirlfriend was the dumbest woman on the face of the earth. But she got rid of me, which was smart. FAIL/WIN in reply to thebrawnyman #
@thebrawnyman Did you forget your anniversary again? in reply to thebrawnyman #
@gwardwell Where do you heat your soup? Oh god, on second thought… I’d rather you not reveal, and that has a double meaning in reply to gwardwell #
@gwardwell That explains the mysterious corresponding stains on the seat of your pants, and office chair. in reply to gwardwell #
Greg @gwardwell complains incessantly. It’s like working next to an elderly woman, minus the oder of ointment and soiled adult diapers. #
Campbell’s Bitch & Noodle soup being served on the menu today? Because I know a few people who were served large bowls today. #
Kool-Aid: proudly spreading childhood obescity and carpet stains since 1954. #