Elysian Dreams

.. eternal bliss

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:35:00 +0000

What else could describe it best aside from eternal bliss. That is what weddings are all about, it it not only the union of two people, but it brings families together as well (in my case, from different countries). I would want to write more about this, but i guess it won't make sense, as most of you would be looking at the photos. Guess it'll go into another post then.

Anyways ..

All these photos are not edited in any way. There is more than 200 photos taken and i have only chosen about 50 here. I have high res copies of all these photo's, so if any of you need one, for memories, write to me. It was a tiring day for the photo shoot. Almost all the photos are taken outdoor on location in Saigon, only the last few potraits are taken inside the studio.

Please remember to ask for permission if you need to re-post these photos somewhere else ..

.. down memory lane

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:31:00 +0000

.. it has been a roller coaster

.. on the eve of Lunar New Year, being far away from home for the first time ever, memories of my past came flooding back to me. The rush is such, that unknowingly i shaded tears.

.. oh such fond memories.

.. with that, i have endowed on a personal quest, to actually find old pictures of myself, within the past 20+ years ago. Back then, digital cameras has not made its mark yet, and i was not from a well to do family that could afford to own a camera. This would be a quest of great difficulty, it requires a lot of patience and time. Bear with me, i am making great progress now.

.. looking back, from the days of growing up in a small village by the borders of a small coal mining town by the seaside playing with rocks and sticks, to my first real socializing with the outside world when i entered kindergarten. And then continuing my primary school year back in 1985 wearing extremely short .. shorts. At least when high school started in 1991, i get long pants and the internet.

.. looking back, i realize how many times i have regretted passing up that one single opportunity to look for other possible ones. Without regrets in the first place, i would never had felt grateful on all the other chances that was created when i let go of the first one.

.. today, i realize how precious our memories could be. What better way to catalog it than to have it here. Quality of some of the old uploaded photos might not be that good if i could trace them back, but what i can share today, is the life i am living today.

.. my quest for the past would be done in steps

.. this is me today

.. being married, by taking this road, i have created so many other paths that is not made available to me earlier. I have someone to share my life with. I have someone to share my memories and make new ones.

.. life might be short, but all your memories from it are eternal.

Gong Xi Fa Xai !

.. and

Happy Valentine's Day !

.. coming back soon

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:46:00 +0000

.. well, this is just to let everyone know that i would be posting extensively again soon.

.. for the greater good

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:01:00 +0000

.. life is ever so filled with cruelty and happiness. Often it would strike hard and fast without you even realizing where it came from. Happiness comes from life that you share with another, be it a friend or your partner. I have to admit, i have changed so much since i came to Vietnam. Friends who knows me well, especially those who had been with me all this whilst i undergo the transformation to who i am right not.

.. in the harsh conditions that made me leave Malaysia for good, and i do mean it, for good, there is no looking back now, i could never forget. Be it the monster that i have turned into now, covered by the fake angelic and crooked smile that i have always worn on my face, i could never bring myself to admit that i do enjoy the solitude that i have every single time i am alone.

.. maybe i am meant to live my life that way. Alone .. maybe the quote i have so fondly used everywhere, depicted right at the bottom of this page really is my motivation to move on.

" .. why are we so fond of life, which begins with a groan .. and ends with a cry."

.. often i ponder, is it what lies in between? I am born into this world from the bonds of love my parents have, but is it destined for me to go alone as well. Being the monster i am now, would i be able shed this vampiric behavior and be really able to accept someone into my life again ? Is my pursuit of happiness over, having turned myself into a vampire that lives a life of solitude ? Not being able to accept anything, or anyone, hiding away in the comforts of my own darkness, enjoying the coldness that freezes my heart from accepting the warmth offered by friends.

.. i have so many questions left unanswered, and i guess it would never be, until i really find the one person that is meant for me to spend eternity with. In the mean time, might as well i just wear a big placard around my neck ..

" .. all ye who enter, abandon hope"

.. whatever decision that i come to, or which is made for me by others, i believe it is for the greater good. There is a reason for everything, and for everything that there is, it is for something.

.. don't be afraid friends, i am still who i am. I'll still have that crooked smile when you see me. I'll still be the angel that you all know. Only a selected few would see the real me, and i do thank you all for being with me all this while. Being a monster is not easy, especially one that is good.

.. or rather one that thinks he is good, maybe sometimes his fiendish self would resurface and start terrorizing everything around him

.. for the greater good of course.

:-P

( .. i am not in any way drunk when i am writing this. Just another one of my ramblings, just feeling a bit down today, and i need to write something gloomy, good night all, don't think this would make sense since it doesn't even make sense to me )

.. medical report

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 18:27:00 +0000

.. just a short update, went for a full medical check up yesterday and the reports are out. Full means, it includes x-rays, colour blindness test, urine tests, blood tests, reflexes,immunities, hearing tests .. bla bla bla. No short cuts this time (i actually got one made by a friend of mine for free, which works as a doctor in a Goverment military hospital, but it was rejected)

.. due to really stringent Vietnamese laws it has to be done. Hopefully, if my application for the work permit is approved, i do not have to have 2 pages of my passport taken up every single time my visa is renewed. My stay in Vietnam would be extended to at least one year. The approval of the work permit would also pave way for application of permanent residency and a driving license.

.. yes you heard me right, a driving license. I would have my Malaysian driving license translated and apply for a Vietnamese one, which apparently never expires. You just do it once ! Maybe that explains why the Vietnamese don't have as much fireworks display compared to Malaysia. I don't want to elaborate on this .. i think it is understood.

.. and oh ya .. back to my first ever medical report after 29 years of living this life, i am perfectly healthy ! No HIV, no heart conditions, no illnesses, no problems with my reflexes, i am not colour blind .. and the list goes on and on. It was terrifying when i first went (for those that knows me well, you know my working conditions .., and sleepless nights of course .. ) because i am not very sure on what is going on inside me.

.. the only thing that needs to be done now, is getting my Hepatitis immunization. I am immune to everything else aside from this, and i am currently living in a country which has really high risk of contracting it. Once i get the reports, perhaps i would try to have a copy of my X-ray immortalized here in this blog. This really brings blogging into a whole new level .. hee hee .. instead of having a peek into my thoughts, readers would actually have a peek into me !

( PS : I would definitely leave the lower body scans out, so this is still not rated PG - 18, it is safe for underage readers )

.. twitter !

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 03:49:00 +0000

.. well, another small change to my blog. As you all can see above, i've got myself a twitter account, updates will be live !

.. it is fun to use, but i do wonder, how would it affect my privacy ?

.. and here is a short description from wiki

"Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that allows its users to send and read other users' updates (known as tweets), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length. Updates are displayed on the user's profile page and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends (delivery to everyone being the default). Users can send and receive updates via the Twitter website, SMS, RSS (receive only), or through applications such as Tweetie, Twitterrific, and Feedalizr. The service is free to use over the web, but using SMS may incur phone services provider fees.

Four gateway numbers are currently available for SMS: short codes for the United States, Canada, and India, and a United Kingdom-based number for international use. Several third parties offer posting and receiving updates via email.

Estimates of the number of daily users vary as the company does not release the number of active accounts. In November 2008, Jeremiah Owyang of Forrester Research estimated that Twitter had 4-5 million users.[2] A February 2009 Compete.com blog entry ranks Twitter as the third largest social network (MySpace would be second and Facebook would be the largest in the world[citation needed]), and puts the number of users at roughly 6 million and the number of monthly visitors at 55 million.[3]"

.. but anyway, for friends who are interested in joining me in the twitter network, it will be fun if there is more !
visit their page at http://www.twitter.com

... wasted

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:52:00 +0000

waste
/weɪst/
verb, wast⋅ed, wast⋅ing, noun, adjective
–verb (used with object)
1. to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return; use to no avail or profit; squander: to waste money; to waste words.
2. to fail or neglect to use: to waste an opportunity.
3. to destroy or consume gradually; wear away: The waves waste the rock of the shore.
4. to wear down or reduce in bodily substance, health, or strength; emaciate; enfeeble: to be wasted by disease or hunger.
5. to destroy, devastate, or ruin: a country wasted by a long and futile war.
6. Slang. to kill or murder.

... what else to describe best of what i am feeling right now. I don't think i am even in a proper state to write this blog at this moment. With bloodshot eyes, and a skin tone as red as the first bloom of hibiscus .. i don't think any of this would make sense when i read it again once i am sober. It feels weird .. to be typing away in this feeble state of mind, and do pardon me if it seems all jumbled up, but i just feel like writing at this moment.

... it has been long since i updated this blog, and probably would disappoint those that might have followed my updates earlier. I would not delve too deep into what had caused all the stupidity and silliness that i had went through for the past 3 hours, it is too personal .. something that is best left alone .. hidden away in the depths of my misery. It has been really hard for me to live a life of solitude since i last had a relationship, and it is really painful to have all the memories coming back to me within 3 hours .. it is beyond any words .. i just have no way of describing it.

... misery has its way of creeping up to you when you least expect it.

... i am no where near such devastation as all of you might have guessed upon reading the first two paragraphs. I am very much sane right now ..

... i hope

... but it is this misery that drives me on and on. I feed on this, slowly drowning myself in this feeling of disgust, renewing my hopes and dreams every single time this annoying little creature called Misery creeps up behind me. Tonight .. being "wasted" .. it is just a night where i just let loose. Misery is a friend of which i don't like having .. but still, it is an obligation .. a friend that you can't afford losing. Without this friend to give you that little nudge or shoving .. or slaps and punches ..

... it is a waste

... this post might be really awkward way to renew my interest in writing. It might even be wasted in the end. But at the very least, i gain an inner sight into my friend called Misery. I am just glad that i have other friends that had helped me for the past 48 hours, you know who you are .. and i am just glad that you have listened. I have renewed faith, and now i know, regardless where you are, who you are ... whether you are named Misery, whether you are Chinese, American .. male or female .. or i have just met you for 30 minutes,

... nothing is wasted

... at this moment, i just hope i have not written down anything silly, or corny enough. Any mistakes, or any weird statements ... blame it on my other friend named Misery that is whispering behind my ear whilst i am typing.

... all this might just be a huge misunderstanding, but regardless, i am not letting go that easily. I feel really grateful to those that have listened, i might have sounded like a teenager whining and worrying too much over a small problem, i am sorry for that, and i am sorry if i have dragged all of you into sharing a conversation with my sneaky friend .. there is no other way to repay you all, than to offer my ear and my sincere heart if you ever needed someone to talk to. I would not let any of your efforts be wasted.

... good night

.. paradise in the middle of nowhere

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:56:00 +0000

.. after an arduous journey of 200 kilometers which took me almost 5 hours out of Saigon braving the morning rush hour, i've reached my destination, or rather the junction that leads to my destination. The beach i am going to, still needs about 35 kilometers into the depths of nowhere. I snapped a whole bunch of pictures, there won't be much detailed explanation, but i will try my best as i am just too darn tired. This page might take slightly longer to load with so many photograph being uploaded .. its worth the wait !

i thought the real journey would begin after we escaped the horror of Saigon's rush hour, but apparently, the road that we are on leads to Hanoi as well, which is about 2000 kilometers away, a long stretch of straight road .. passing through small towns once in a while.

we stopped for a break at one of these stops, dotted throughout our journey every 2 kilometers or so. They only sell drinks, but what interests me more was that these are built not for travellers, but for workers and farmers working around the area to take a quick nap during their lunch breaks.

these are taken after we turn off the main road to go into the beach area, another 35 kilometers of journey with cows, paddy fields, more cows .. and more paddy fields. It's another long stretch of straight road with the destination no where in sight. Later, i realized that my cab driver took the least taken road that leads into the resorts, filled with holes, puddles, cows .. all that and not one single vehicle in sight .. and i wondered, why did they even bothered to tar the road in the first place.

above are all images that i have snapped within the compound of the villa style resort that i am going to stay in for the next week. It is a 5 star resort, just officially opened last month, so there is practically no guests around at all .. nothing else could be more perfect! The compound is beautifully decorated with flowers and its natural sweet scent accompanying your every step, and there is a swimming pool at every corner, towards the beach they even have an infinity pool !! The beach is left untouched and all the resorts around this coastline are spaced quite far from each another. I have yet to visit all the other resorts, the fishing village, the sand dunes .. there is so much see and much to be done. More pictures would be added soon enough as i explore around the place.

.. both of my nights here is spent watching the sunset alone, telling myself how beautiful this place is, letting the sun cast its hypnotic rays, burning a memory into my mind. The passing shadows seems to be urged faster and faster by the crash of the waves, racing towards where i am sitted. I would wait until the shadows reach me before calling it a day.

.. a new day of exploration awaits tomorrow. Good night all.

.. off to the beaches and sand dunes

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:47:00 +0000

.. well, i am off to the beaches and huge sand dunes for almost 2 weeks, or earlier, if i could finish off my tasks there. The place i am headed to is about 4 hours drive from Ho Chi Minh City, to a province named Phan Thiet. I might not be able to update my blog in this period of time, depending on the availability of a connection there.

.. in the meantime, provided here is a link to where i would be staying. Check out the pictures within the website on the natural scenery of the province.

.. i would of course provide photos of my own as well in my next update. This trip would be my first "unofficial" (officially, i am there for work!!) trip out of town as a tourist to one of Vietnam's natural beauties, and i am sure there is much to see and amuse myself with.

.. Musa ca ri an do !

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 06:25:00 +0000

.. first, i would like to apologize for the slight delay in updates, as my laptop was infected with a virus that disables my login to Windows, had a long weekend formatting and restoring it.

.. most might not understand what my title might mean, but i do feel it is worth mentioning here in my blog, as it has satisfied my craving for curry in Vietnam .. to an extent. Musa ca ri an do means Musa Indian Curry, i was introduced and brought to it by a friend. Six of us went, and we had a feast sitted around a small square table.

Hidden in an alleyway, this establishment took up almost 2 shoplots, 1 for the kitchen and own for the indoor sitting and since they are towards the end of the alley, they filled up the road as well (..or lane/walkway, whatever it might be, we were sandwiched between 2 double storey building, a hole in the wall). We arrived during peak dinner hour and was lucky to have found a place to sit, though a small table but it fitted us comfortably .. well, before the food started coming. Environment was great ! .. the air was filled with chatter, clink and clanks of cutlery, cries of children running around .. ahh bliss, reminds me so much of the food court in SS2, back in KL.

It might not be the most presentable of all places hygienically especially the floors .. its hawker food, what else do you expect ? I had not problems with my stomach days after, instead yearning and craving for more of it, so i guess its more than safe, since i went during a busy day and during peak hour. All cutlery and dishes were clean without grease on it. Now .. lets move on to the food .. we ordered quite a lot, we started off with the curry .. of course, served with fresh banh mi (french loafs). The curry is almost the same as what i usually have back home, but instead of chunks of meat, these came with the bones and ribs ! I dug in without hesitance, using my fingers .. there is no way that i am able to juggle mutton knuckles with chopsticks whilst trying to tear succulent meat off! Curry is spiced just enough and sweet at the same time just to cater to local taste buds. it might not be as spicy as what we can get in Malaysia, but its acceptable enough to please my cravings .. and extra delicious and yummy dipped with the loafs ! Meat is slightly tough that day, but i won't complain, because it is lean meat from a goat which exercised a lot it seems.

.. barbecued crab laced with a generous helping of sweet lemon grass, a bit of chili, and some barbecue sauce was served next. We had bamboo shoot and prawn salad earlier, but i was too late in getting a picture, what i am left with is just the empty plate next to the crabs. It shows enough how good it was to be snapped up immediately. We also had some kind of fish stew later, which i left alone because i don't really fancy fish cooked this way. Sticky rice was also ordered. Quite a nice texture and feel to the rice, simple, cooked with 5 spice powder and , and infused with sweetness of honey, and mixed with raisins.

The small plates that you see all over the table is a mixture of salt and pepper, topped with a lemon which you need to squeeze over it. It is a common thing you can see in all eateries in Vietnam, these are used to as dipping for your food. Another type of dipping not in the pictures would be fish sauce, LOL, that is practically served with every dish as well, with one small chili cut in side. Here you don't get chili padi or red chili served with soya sauce.

The final item that can be highlighted was the side dishes that came together with the fish. I can't remember what it is called, but it is a thin plasticky popia skin, which you use to wrap the fish meat, and rice noodle, and herbs .. dip it into fish sauce and munch .. yummy! Thanks to out new found friends, we were even shown the proper way of doing it. Look at one of the pictures, just a blur of hand moving all over the place grabbing herbs and vegetables! The simplicity of the dish it self makes you yearn for more, and the herbs just revitalizes our taste buds which had been bombarded with taste of different dishes earlier.

It was a great experience and we left the table filled up with empty plates and bowls, a great honour to the restaurant itself showing how satisfied we are with the meal. We paid about 600,000 VND for it, which comes to about 36 USD converted, shared amongst six of us, reasonable price for the great food we had. Would definitely be back again for more.

Everything served to us was fresh, yes even the fish head stew. The mutton was marinated properly before being placed into the curry to get rid of the "mutton" smell. Personally, i hoped the curry was much spicier though, but since they have cooked everything in a big pot before being served into smaller plates, don't think i would be able to demand much. They also have "Hot Pots"/"steambots" served, with a choice of curry or normal stock soup. Remember to order any dishes with fresh bamboo shoots as well, especially the salads! They are fresh bamboo shoots, not canned!

Curious readers could find the place near Windsor hotel in District 5 Saigon, the exact address being MUSA CA RI AN DO,001, Block B, Su Van Hanh, ward 9, district 5. From windsor's main entrance, just walk down the road for about 100 meters and you would see an alleyway to your right filled with bikes and lights,people, and food at the end .. if you get lost, just ask anyone, they will point you to the correct direction, just mention Ca Ri An Do !

.. touched by an angel

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:01:00 +0000

click image for original size.

.. something i cooked up earlier today. All images and writings are of original creation, if any has intention to use or post this on another site, please ask for permission and i will allow it as long as it is not related to porn or sites with controversial materials.

PS : angel, looking forward to seeing you again !

.. still life

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:02:00 +0000

This still life is all I ever do
There by the window quietly killed for you
In the glass house my insect life
Crawling the walls under electric lights
I'll go into the night into the night
She and I into the night

Is this still life all I'm good for too?
There by the window quietly killed for you
And they drive by like insects do
They think they don't know me
They hired a car for you

To go into the night, into the night
She and I into the night

And this still life is all I ever do
There by the window quietly killed for you
And this still life is all I ever do
But it's still, still life
But it's still, still life
But it's still, still life

~~Suede~~
~Dog Man Star~

Note: One of my all time favorites from Suede, try to understand the real meaning behind the song .. ahhh .. so symbolic

.. common people

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:53:00 +0000

She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge,
she studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College,
that's where I,
caught her eye.
She told me that her Dad was loaded,
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola."
She said "Fine."
and in thirty seconds time she said,

"I want to live like common people,
I want to do whatever common people do,
I want to sleep with common people,
I want to sleep with common people,
like you."

Well what else could I do -
I said "I'll see what I can do."
I took her to a supermarket,
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere,
so it started there.
I said pretend you've got no money,
she just laughed and said,
"Oh you're so funny."
I said "yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here.
Are you sure you want to live like common people,
you want to see whatever common people see,
you want to sleep with common people,
you want to sleep with common people,
like me."
But she didn't understand,
she just smiled and held my hand.
Rent a flat above a shop,
cut your hair and get a job.
Smoke some fags and play some pool,
pretend you never went to school.
But still you'll never get it right,
cos when you're laid in bed at night,
watching roaches climb the wall,
if you call your Dad he could stop it all.

You'll never live like common people,
you'll never do what common people do,
you'll never fail like common people,
you'll never watch your life slide out of view,
and dance and drink and screw,
because there's nothing else to do.

Sing along with the common people,
sing along and it might just get you through,
laugh along with the common people,
laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do.
Because you think that poor is cool.

I want to live with common people,
I want to live with common people etc...

~~Pulp~~
~Different Class~

Note : I just love it when "story telling" is involved in music ..

.. music is said to be the speech of angels

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:14:00 +0000

.. finally, another long awaited update that i had planned for my blog. I've added a music stream, which would at the same time highlight creations by artists which i hold high in praise. Some of the uploaded contents would be accompanied by lyrics under music tags, usually those which had been masterfully crafted.

.. navigation is easy, under the end of each song, you would find artist name and album, just find the song in the MediaMaster widget to the right and press play! It might take some time to load, that is why i place the widget way down bottom.

.. also, you are not allowed to download these musics, i would only put up streams for albums that i own myself. Please support original !

.. the living dead

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:04:00 +0000

If I was the wife of an acrobat...
Could of had it all...Could of had it all...

Where's all the money gone? - I'm talking to you,
All up the whole in your arm,
is the needle a much better screw?
But oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go.
Where is this life of fun that you promised me?
Nothing here works but your works and I mean it
I have to leave
But oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go.
If I was the wife of an acrobat would I look like the living dead, boy?
You're on the wire and can't get back,Let's talk about the living dead
Could have had a car, could have had it all,
Could have walked in the sky but we stare at the wall.
I know where the money's gone - I know what you do
Cos I've seen the hole in your arm and the needle's a much better screw
but oh, what will you do alone? Cos I have to go..

~~Suede~~
~Sci-Fi Lullabies (1 of 2)~

Note : The wife of an acrobat ? Who else would've thought of these stuffs but Suede.

.. tears, idle tears

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:03:00 +0000

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy Autumn-fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.

Fresh as the first beam glittering on a sail,
That brings our friends up from the underworld,
Sad as the last which reddens over one
That sinks with all we love below the verge;
So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more.

Ah, sad and strange as in dark summer dawns
The earliest pipe of half-awakened birds
To dying ears, when unto dying eyes
The casement slowly grows a glimmering square;
So sad, so strange, the days that are no more.

Dear as remembered kisses after death,
And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned
On lips that are for others; deep as love,
Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
O Death in Life, the days that are no more!

~Author unknown~

.. friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:25:00 +0000

.. it was a great outing last night. A small gathering, nevertheless an interesting bunch of more than 30 turned up, born from a tool named facebook that is used by people with bad memories to remember names of their friends and spam the same friends with useless applications (.. well not all).

.. created back in September last year, this group aptly named Expats in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), with a group of 250+ members strong, attracted me when i first came to Vietnam, being a community which binds expats like me together, sharing a common goal, familiarizing ourselves with the intricacies of foreign cultures and laws. We began with introductions of ourselves I was placed in a position quite difficult as i was sitted right in the middle of a very long table arrangement. Stuttered a bit and was more like talking to myself as its difficult to maintain eye contact with anyone .. 15+ on my left and the remaining 15+ on my right .. left right left right .. zz. Confusion and disarray !! How could i even claim myself to be a good sales person dealing with the multi million AV industry after this experience ?

.. things got slightly under control later as i moved about trying to remember names and strike up conversations. There might be some that i missed out, but that is what facebook is for, to further develop the relationship that is hanging on a fine thread just because you have bad memories.

.. the day got better as i developed a bad throat from talking too much. LOL .. not better because of the bad throat, but better after i moved to the pool table when the soreness heated up. Met up with the owner of the restaurant which we gathered in, which happens to be a good friend of my director. He introduced me to another regular of his which plays Snooker! And both of them would introduce me to another friend which plays professional snooker .. looks like i could have my regular practices again soon.

.. this post might sound boring as this is not my preferred style of writing. Usually the boring stuffs i would just label it as news, for the benefit of those who would just want to ignore it totally. It is nonetheless important to me as it signifies small achievements that will change my life as an expat one way or another.

.. till the next post, ciao

.. what we call results are beginnings

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:56:00 +0000

.. as you all can see, there is a slight change to my blog. There is an addition of my own banner, which i would change from time to time as showcase of my passion for digital art. I'm starting with something simple first, as I'm just too stressed from the amount of paper works i had done and compiled earlier today. There is also an addition of a footer below, which would double up as my email link, to those who would want to contact me personally.

.. it is a small step, but the changes i made today are results which i had been putting on hold for quite some time now. Aside from the addition of the images, i have also made adjustments on the default html template to cater to my own needs, getting rid of limitations and unnecessary items. Took me quite some time to recall my html coding lessons, but i am more than satisfied with what i had achieved. Slowly, i would personalize this to my likings.

.. won't go on to much here, since most likely i am going to label this news.

.. petty updates but definitely an important beginning for me.

.. reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:54:00 +0000

.. time just breezes through for me in Vietnam, without realizing it, i have already spent 17 days in Saigon, working and exploring my new found life in an alien country. Maybe that is just reality. When you keep your mind distracted, things just float by, without the need for ourselves to have a second thought for it at all. Today, i would provide a peek into the night life of Vietnam. Whatever that i might write below, would strictly be my personal ramblings, and might not be entirely true. There are a lot of restrictions around in this country, and i would try my very best not to cross that.

.. as most of you would have known by now, fags and booze in Vietnam is dirt cheap. The local beers here costs the same as a can of coke, and buying a carton of fags here would be the equivalent of buying a single pack in Singapore. Perhaps, that is why alcohol is so widely abused in this country, leaving that to be the only form of entertainment for the "adult" world here. Membership with gyms and clubs are expensive, as i have learnt as i go around looking for one. These establishments prey on expats like me, as of so many other "posh" setups. I guess, the search continues for me, hoping to get this all sorted out by next week as my muscles is just dying to be stretched again (jogged up and down 9 storeys today !). Regardless the price i need to pay, it has to happen, as i don't fancy going out for alcohol that often.

.. i am not the type that believes relationships could be built through alcohol. How often would conversations be taken seriously when you are in a heightened state of intoxication? But, here is where all havoc breaks loose for me. It seems, almost every business contacts that i meet so far is from a glass of drink! Look at the picture above, 3 bottles of Johnie Walker Black Label lined up nicely, and we managed to finish it in a period of 2 hours, with people whom i never met at all, in a club with loud thumping music and people packed to the brim. Its not even possible to talk to anyone at all, with the thumps and bumps, but somehow i ended up having stacks of name cards with me, and people inviting me for lunch or coffee weeks after that madness.

.. somehow, it seems that this unknown force is keeping everything together, feeding on this illusion that keeps everything so vibrant yet mad from abuse of alcohol. Business relation or friendships could be built or torn apart through alcohol .. somehow, it is still something that baffles me. I just can't seem to understand what fun there is to derive from getting highly intoxicated? It is a common sight here in Vietnam, all nightspots that has alcohol would be filled with locals and expats alike. I am not condemning anyone, everyone has their own way and method of entertainment (but it seems like in Vietnam, a lot more likes alcohol), and definitely it has high potential to built a strong business network.

.. this illusion of reality created by most when they are lack of alcohol, would pull them down so hard, searing off that small part of them that was given freedom everytime they are intoxicated, leaving them yearning more and more of it, thus feeding and nurturing this nocturnal beast that hunts for a prey named alcohol every night.

.. i have not "entertained" anyone for quite sometime now, setting appointments during the wee hours of the morning, for lunch, and afternoon teas. Dinners would mostly be cooked at home, unless i am out with friends. I am mildly surprised, as things still worked out well as i make progress in projects i am concentrated on, albeit a bit slower compared to a night out with lots of alcohol.

.. maybe sometimes, the beast needs to be let out to feed just to keep things interesting if else fails.

.. sometimes, it is just best to treat reality as an illusion.

.. part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like, and let the food fight it out inside - Mark Twain

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:14:00 +0000

.. i am officially into the second month of living my life as an expat in Vietnam, and i think this would be due time for another confession, but of course on a much happier note compared to the earlier one. Starting a new life here was easy, i have even managed to sort out most of my groceries myself without much confusion, though majority of the items displayed on the shelfs are purely in Vietnamese. Managed to also sort out almost everything in regards to the apartment i have rented, with a landlord who does not speak English that well.

.. well, leaving that aside, with me being able to rest easier now and concentrate on my work, it dawned to me that i actually miss something so dearly back in Malaysia, that i would want to use my return ticket immediately. Many would have guessed immediately with a glimpse at the title that it involves food, but to me, its much more than that.

.. a picture always says a thousand words, and i went through lengths to compile these pictures, having being so ignorant about it when i was back in Malaysia, and having none of it here with me in Vietnam. For those who does not know, that is a "Mamak". Mamak could refer to the person itself, or the business he is in .. call it a culture, but this post would have a full dedication to something truly Malaysian, something i missed so much.

.. the word Mamak is derived from the Tamil term for maternal uncle, or 'maa-ma'. In Malaysia (and i think in many parts of asian countries as well), we all grew up being taught of respecting people older than us as "uncle" or "auntie", be it a shopkeeper, or the bus driver, or even total strangers. Probably, from there, it has evolved into a term so widely used by all Malaysian, in respect to the different owners of these small establishments of "fast food" chain, that had provided us a comfortable and universal menu, with a network of stalls that dotted Malaysia much better than all the cellphone network providers combined. Who else deserved better to be called "uncle" than them .. The mamaks!

.. mamaks serves cheap and good food. It is also a melting pot of cultural symphony and unity, with patrons from all walks of life, young and old, of different races, mingling together .. to gossip or just catch a game of football on a projected screen. Most of the time it is open air, with stalls being easily set up on any open areas with high population density, setting up plastic tables and chairs on car parks, walkways of shops, and even on the roads. Most of them are open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year.

.. irregardless of the owner, almost all mamak stalls in Malaysia offers a standard menu. Some might have "improved" their selections, by adding western food, or satay, but basically .. almost everyone has these listed below (really depends on the setup budget and owner, and customer requests) ..

* Roti Canai (Chennai bread)
* Roti Telur
* Teh Tarik
* Half-Boiled Eggs
* Goat Milk
* Murtabak
* Thosai
* Chapati
* Nasi Kandar
* Nasi Briyani
* Nasi Lemak
* Maggi Goreng
* Mee Goreng (Fried noodles)
* IndoMie Mi Goreng
* Pasembur
* Mamak Rojak
* Sup Kambing
* Sup Ayam
* Roti Tissue
* Roti Bakar
* Roti Bom
* Murtabak
* Roti Naan & Tandoori Chicken
* Poori

.. but these are the usual ones, where all Malaysians would know by heart.

.. pictured above is the holy grail of all drinks being served at a mamak. Aptly named "teh tarik" or "pulled tea" translated. It is strong tea powder, mixed with sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk, then, "dragged" from one mug to another, in a juggling and acrobatic act that is honed through years of practice, cooling the tea to a perfect temperature that you can drink straight out of, once it arrives at your table. A cup of teh tarik makes or breaks a mamak.

.. i have developed a strange liking for this culture. As a sales person, a mamak is chosen as a regular meeting place. Being operated 24 hours, the hygienes are not in the cleanest state, but acceptable enough not to give you a bad case of food poisoning. Mamaks had been a place where i seal sales deals that amounts to hundreds of thousands, in a very casual way and environment.

.. being in Vietnam for more than a month already, i am dying for a cup of teh tarik and roti canai at times of my sleepless and hungry nights, and early morning breakfasts. I have also lost a venue for business meetings or a place to just hang out and catch up with friends. There is a lot i could leave behind in Malaysia, but the absence of mamak, hits me the worst.

.. mamaks indirectly helped shaped me into what i am today, a place where i get to know friends better and close deals, or just a place to hang out and think. Without mamaks, i probably would not have sealed those few deals, or even land myself a position in the companies that i worked at before.

.. true enough, being a Malaysian, a true Malaysian, the mamak culture is something that you will not ever forget.

.. mamaks is my secret of success in life, and i'll let my stomach decide later even if it does not agree to me that much.

Disclaimer : These are purely my own ramblings, i still support posh places like Starbuck, Coffee Bean or even "Kopi Tiams", but not so as often as Mamak's. They have a much wider network that covers Malaysia, easily accessible with lots of parking spaces available. I was not forced or bribed by any Mamak's in the writing of this post.

.. i want to live !

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 04:28:00 +0000

with the blood slowly trickling away
i waited for the countdown to end
i waited for the final bell to ring
for the eternal escape

a wretched life i once lived
a life that no one should have
a life that is not my choice

a life that is not my choice
yet i played the lead role in it
a role that was played to perfection from my end

now at a time when the final curtain is very close to being drawn
i want to rewrite the whole story once again

a story that is full of happiness
a story that is so full of joy
a story that i only lived in my dreams

a dream that i want to make a reality
a reality of a dream coming true
a story, once re-enacted
will fulfill my desires
will fulfill my destiny

a story that i so desperately want to write
will now remain uncompleted
the countdown has already begun
the countdown from life to death

with the blood slowly trickling away
and the story still incomplete
and the clock slowly ticking away
i want to live
i want to live, once again
i want to live, once again
to rewrite the story
the story that is my life!

Author - Unknown

.. without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:08:00 +0000

.. how much could you be a friend to anyone? And how would you be able to call anyone your friend? How would you ever draw that line that borders the limitations ?

.. having one friend is too much, two are many, and three is hardly possible. How many of you would actually agree to this? The definition of friends is lost altogether as our commitments grew, and as our age matures. We we're so innocent once in our younger years, everyone is a good friend. We go out in packs, sharing every single thoughts and emotions. But all would be almost lost as we pursue our own interests, chasing dreams and life goals, leaving behind nothing but memories of our younger years, and not friendship that holds strong.

.. having friends is where you be what you are, but how often would you be able to do that once you step into the competitive working "adult" world, in short reality and survival. At one point of your life, the basic survival instincts would take over, causing us to be more selfish, and making friends are only for beneficial means. We wear a mask, for each and every different friend, fitting ourselves into their world, manipulating them for our own gains.

.. a lot might not agree to this, and what i said is purely my own views. I have been meeting people all over the place, and as sales, i really need to get into their heads to maneuver them into profitable gains. To do that, i would have to be someone else, a mask worn without being conscious of it, referring my self as a "friend", totally losing myself, not being able to be what i want to be, or used to be.

.. it has been such a daily routine to me, i do not get much chance to just let go and be myself. There is a few that i am able to share with and open up, but to what extent would they be able to share the same with me ? Where would be the line be drawn by them ?

.. i have been trying to follow a path which leads me to a mental attitude that makes me feel deeply and vitally alive, which i am able to say to myself everyday,

" .. this is the real me."

.. but to what extent?

.. would i be able to stay true to that path,
and still be able to survive the competition?

.. my day out as a tourist in Saigon

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:19:00 +0000

.. well, i walked 7 kilometers yesterday and here are some pictures taken, just like a typical tourist, most of it, you can find through search engines, but i still put it up for those who are lazy.

.. notre dame cathedral, no vietnamese version of the hunchback spotted because the church was not open, had to try on a Sunday. It was built between 1877 and 1883, with two 40 meter towers topped with iron spires, in neo-Romanesque form, red bricks and colored glass windows all imported from France.

.. Saigon Post Office .. a very old post office, built between 1886 and 1891, it has a glass canopy, ceiling fans, and two gargantuan wall maps of "Saigon et Ses Environs". At the very far end of the arched building .. is Uncle Ho Chi Minh. I was held in awe when i walked in, stood right in the middle of the huge entrance and stared, pissing some French tourist who wanted to take a picture .. and i can almost swear Uncle Ho was smirking at my foolishness.

.. The Saigon Opera House or Ho Chi Minh Municipal Theater, the building was originally built by the French to host Opera shows. In 1955 it was transformed into the South Vietnam's Assembly House. After the nation's reunification the building remained unused. Not long ago it was refurbished. It currently hosts vietnamese theatre and traditional music shows. Would definitely go in one day .. well .. once i can understand Vietnamese.

.. one of the many statues scattered all over the city, i took a picture of it, because it was just too tiring for me after 3 kilometers, and i was seated on a bench with some ladies from Vietnam Airlines nearby, trying to communicate with them using sign language, on how to go to Ben Thanh market, i failed miserably, leaving them giggling and me sweating in shame.

.. well, i made my way there, to Ben Thanh market, which was built in 1913, and is the largest market in the city, French-styled of course, with a distinctive clock tower right at its entrance. I turned away immediately, because it was too humid and cramped, and the peddlers would run at you and grab your arm trying to get you to buy. Look at how the girl is dashing towards me ..

.. i walked back to Diamond Plaza, sat down at a coffee shop of Starbuck equivalent, aptly named Higlands coffee under a canopy shading me from the hot sun, just watching people and time past. The heat became unbearable, and just so happen, Narnia premiered, with Prince Caspian's poster staring right down at me from a huge cylindrical billboard next to the coffee shop.

.. with the tickets bought, i strut into the cinema guided by someone with a torch light, with the movie already started for 5 minutes, found my seat, and muttered "SHIT" so loud almost everyone could hear me. I bought the wrong tickets !! It was the dubbed Vietnamese version, with only a single female voice for all characters. How much more awkward could it be !!?? Good thing they let me change the ticket into the English version which was shown later.

.. i ended the day, tracking my journey on a virtual map on my phone, which came to a count of 7.3 kilometers walked. There is still a lot to be explored, and a lot more landmarks to visit .. the tunnels (you get to fire AK47's and M16's !!), the Mekong delta, temples .. and all this is in Saigon, there is still Hue (central Vietnam) .. and also not to forget a promise i made in one of my earlier posts .. Ha Long Bay.

.. love song

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:23:00 +0000

To love a person is to learn the song
.. that is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
.. when they have forgotten.

To love a person is to learn the song
.. that they hum along to,
And sing it to them
.. when they falter in their steps.

To love a person is to learn the song
.. that they snap their fingers to,
And sing it to them
.. when they lost their way in the dark.

To love a person is to learn the song
.. that they would sing to you too
A duet, of a song for love
.. that both would remember to eternity

~end~

.. kian

.. a room with a view

noreply@blogger.com (elysian dreams) — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:34:00 +0000

.. finally, my third official day in Saigon, and hopefully the unsecured Wifi network i am on, lets me finish writing this blog and publish it. It has been a hectic three days, a lot of purchases and cleaning done. Had slight difficulty, or rather loses, from my purchases, as i took advantage of the free delivery, of course on a bike. First, i lost my dustpan, which only had the stick delivered whereas the pan was no where to be seen. Second, i lost 4 boxes of tissues (which had really nice embosses on it !).

.. all these plastic bags, with plates and cups, bottles, detergents .. a lot of stuffs, was sent by an uncle, on a bike, delivered to my doorstep high up on an apartment which visitors had to pay 1000 dongs everytime you use the lift. It was a miracle, nothing broke, only my dustpan reaching without its pan.

.. the first picture above was taken from my room on the very first morning in Saigon. I did not even notice the existence of the bamboo and plants earlier, as i was too tired after cleaning my room ( the floor had to be mopped 3 times before i could walk on it bare foot without getting my feet dirty). It was such a suprise to me, to have such nice view, i really thought i was still dreaming, because there is no way bamboo could've grown more than 5 storeys high !

.. i was reluctant to wake up, being afraid that small window would all just fade into oblivion leaving behind a view of a bustling and smog filled Saigon City Center accompanied by the honks and beeps of traffic .. but somehow .. these sounds are already there ?!

.. reality struck hard, i have indeed woke up, but still fazed and surprised by the plants. Without delay, i reached for my phone and took the picture to record that moment before the effect is gone. What you see, is exactly what i have seen when i wake up on my first morning staying in a new place,

.. a warm welcome and and a very good morning.

.. there is still a few more items that needs to be purchased, which i should be able to sort out by this weekend, and by then, i would be able to call this home. I have even cooked my first meal today after being out the whole day shopping alone, a delicious fusion of Vietnamese and Italian which i created. Spaghetti lashed with olive oil with finely chopped onion stalks wrapped in omelet mixed with fresh taugeh and ham and sprinkled with the miraculous Vietnamese pepper mixed with salt and lemon which i had grown a liking to.

.. mmm, more experiments to come throughout my stay as i start exploring Vietnamese cuisine.

.. more updates to come once i get a proper internet connection. By then i would try to revamp my blog slowly. Would be looking forward to this weekend as well, as i would finally be able to go out and meet two newly made friends. Time to just kick back and relax this weekend, and start work on Monday, which would at the same time be my official exploration of Saigon as well.

.. good night, would provide views of District 1's (heart of Saigon)skyline next, from my balcony if i am able to get a good shot from my phone.