Email Collections

I Quit Drinking

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:44:00 +0000

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time." The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs.... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive". The only thing is I just quit drinking...!!!

Does management know their staff?

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:25:00 +0000

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the Company noticed a young guy..
leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such A personal question, he replied,
none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed
$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said,

"Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"

The Boss

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:22:00 +0000

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present..
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000,
responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this
bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him *"BOSS"!!

Pain of a Married Man!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:01:00 +0000

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"

BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 10:44:00 +0000

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down ..

What Do We Build in Our Lives?

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 09:45:00 +0000

Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a conflict.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's tool box.

"I'm looking for a few days' work" he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?" "Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you."

"Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor; in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll do him one better."

"See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence --an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.

The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward them, his hand outstretched. "You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand.

They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, but I have many more bridges to build.

Very Touching & Worth Reading!!

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:55:00 +0000

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that sh e had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said,

'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,
'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everythingthey have.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

101 Ways 2 Make You Smile :)

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:53:00 +0000

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.
02. Hold a door open for a stranger.
03. Invite someone to lunch.
04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
06. Bring cookies to work.
07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
10. Call your parents.
11. Let someone know you miss them.
12. Treat someone to a movie.
13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.
14. Visit a retirement center.
15. Take a child to the zoo.
16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
17. Surprise someone with a small gift.
18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
19. Write a letter to a distant relative.
20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.
23. Send someone flowers to where they work.
24. Invite a friend to tea.
25. Recommend a good book to someone.
26. Donate clothing to a charity.
27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
29. Give blood.
30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's really busy or just needs a break.
31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
32. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
33. Help someone with a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
35. Give your place in line at the grocery store to someone who has only a few items.
36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.
37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.
38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.
41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.
42. Forgive a loan.
43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.
44. Tell someone you believe in them.
45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
48. Ask someone if they need you to pick up anything while you're out shopping.
49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.
51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
53. Compliment someone on their cooking and politely ask for a second helping.
54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
56. Give children's clothes to another family when your kids outgrow them.
57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden to the whole neighborhood.
58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.
59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
60. Invite someone to go bowling.
61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days, and surprise them with a cake.
62. Ask someone about their children.
63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
69. Ask an older person for their advice.
70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.
71. Tell a child you're proud of them.
72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
77. Email a friend some information about a topic they are especially interested in.
78. Give someone a homemade gift.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.
81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
85. Personally welcome a new employee at work
and offer to take them out for lunch.
86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up because they are important to you.
87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
89. Forgive someone when they apologize.
90. Wave to someone looking for a parking space when you're about to leave a shopping center.
91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
93. Do a household chore that is usually done by someone else in the family.
94. Be especially happy for someone when they tell you their good news.
95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.
99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
100. Take a child to a ballgame.

And last, but not least…

101. Forward this list to 10 of your favorite people!

Your Zodiac And The Way You Kiss

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:52:00 +0000

Aries: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there and then gone.

Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.

Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.

Cancer: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.

Leo: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; you expect applause for your performance.

Virgo: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.

Libra: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.

Scorpio: You skip the kiss and get straight to whatever comes next for you.

Sagittarius: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.

Capricorn: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.

Aquarius: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.

Pisces: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

I Wish You Enough

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:47:00 +0000

At an airport I overheard a father and
daughter in their last moments
together. They had announced her
departure and standing near the
security gate, they hugged and he said,
"I love you, I wish you enough."

She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together
has been more than enough.
Your love is all I ever needed,
I wish you enough, too, Daddy."

They kissed and she left. He walked over
toward the window where I was
seated. Standing there I could see he
wanted and needed to cry. I tried not
to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed
me in by asking, "Did you
ever say good-bye to someone
knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied, "forgive me
for asking, but why is this a
forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away.
I have challenges ahead and
the reality is, the next trip back
would be for my funeral," he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you
say, 'I wish you enough. "May
I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that
has been handed down from other
generations. My parents used to say
it to everyone." He paused for a
moment and looking up as if trying to remember
it in detail, he smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we
were wanting the other person to
have a life filled with just enough
good things to sustain them," he
continued and then turning toward me
he shared the following as if he were
reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your
attitude bright. I wish you enough
rain to appreciate the sun more. I
wish you enough happiness to keep your
spirit alive. I wish you enough pain
so that the smallest joys in life appear
much bigger. I wish you enough gain
to satisfy your wanting. I wish you
enough loss to appreciate all that you
possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get
you through the final "Good-bye."

Tears filled his eyes and he walked away.

My friend, I wish you enough!
So my friends, I WISH YOU ENOUGH!!!!!
Written by Bob Perks

Pass this on to wish your friends
ENOUGH!!!
DON'T FORGET FAMILY AND
CO-WORKERS AS WELL!!!

11 Signs That UR in Love

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:30:00 +0000

ELEVEN
You walk really slow when you're with them.

TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around..

NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other
people around you, you just see him/her.

SIX:
They're all you think about..

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're
looking at them.

FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your
mind this whole time..

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you
didnt notice number seven was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently
laughing at yourself.

28 WAYS TO MAKE A GIRL SMILE =)

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:22:00 +0000

[1] tell her she is Beautiful. not hot or fine.

[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second.

[3] Kiss her on the forehead.

[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to.

[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.

[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u

[7] recognize the small things ..they usually mean the most.

[8] call her Sweetie or BABY

[9] Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is

[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with

[11] write her notes. (she loves them)

[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend

[13] play with her hair.

[14] pick her up, tickle her, & play WRESTLE with her.

[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her.

[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her joke

[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed her.

[18] let her fall asleep in your arms

[19] carve your names into a TREE.

[20] if she`s mad. Kiss her

[21] give her piggyback rides

[22] bring her flowers just because

[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone

[24] look her in the eyes & Smile

[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants

[26] SL0W DANCE with her, even if there isn't any music playing

[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN

[28] if you`re in love with her tell her

Monkey in the plane

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:15:00 +0000

> Monkey in the plane

>
> Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was
> traveling in the plane was left alive.
>
> Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to
> understand our language and reply in actions.
>
> The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and
> had a talk with the monkey.
>
> Officer: 'When the plane took off what were the
> travelers doing?'
> Monkey: 'Tying their belts'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
> Monkey: 'Saying Hello! Good morning!'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
> Monkey: 'Checking the system'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were you doing?'
> Monkey: 'Looking for my people'
>
> Officer: 'After 10' minutes what were the
> travelers doing?'
> Monkey: 'Having beverages and snacks'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
> Monkey: 'Serving the travelers'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the Pilots doing?'
> Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were you doing?'
> Monkey: 'Eating & throwing'
>
> Officer: 'After 30 minutes what were the travelers
> doing?'
> Monkey: 'Some were sleeping and some were
> reading'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
> Monkey: 'Make up'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
> Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were you doing?'
> Monkey: 'Nothing'
>
> Officer: 'Just before plane crash what were the
> travelers doing?'
> Monkey: 'All were sleeping'
>
>
>
> Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
> Monkey: 'Handling the air hostess'
>
>
>
> Officer: What were you doing?
> Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !
>
> No more Questions!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

Just Brilliant.....

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:04:00 +0000

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that my aunt died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

ANZ:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

ANZ:
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her being dead?'

ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you my aunt died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given)

(After ANZ gets the fax)

ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'

ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

ANZ:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number 1049.'

ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'
(FAMILY MEMBER HANGS UP !)

Wheres that 1 rupee?

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:54:00 +0000

HI….try to solve it out!!!!!

Where is that one Rupee ???
try this riddle

Three friends went to a hotel.
The bill was Rs 75/-
Each one contributed Rs.25/-.
The waiter took the bill to the
Cashier.
The cashier was happy & decided
To give them a discount of Rs.5/- & asked the waiter to return
them
Rs.5/-.
Now the waiter was confused.
How to distribute Rs 5 among 3 persons?
He kept Rs 2 in his pocket &
Gave one rupee to each one of the 3 persons.
So initially each one had contributed
Rs.25. Now as they are given 1 rupee back, their contribution
reduces
to
Rs 24.
They all contributed Rs 24 –
That is 24×3=72 & 2 rupees are in the waiters pocket.
The total becomes 74. But they
Had paid Rs 75.
Where is the remaining 1 rupee??????

Dont get Commited to UR Company!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:19:00 +0000

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON:"Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to he door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry
again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Men always have better friends.. They will stand by you, no matter what….!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:15:00 +0000

Friends of Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband, the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment
overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.

Friends of Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So
the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still
with them!!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:14:00 +0000

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither
of them wanted to
concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

* WORDS**

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day…30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

* WHO DOES WHAT*

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

"The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.

"Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee.

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says…"HEBREWS"

* THE SILENT TREATMENT*

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he has about to go and see why his wife hadn'twakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always
a rough draft before the masterpiece.

WAT A LOVELY AND INTELLIGENT LOVE LETTER.:-)

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:10:00 +0000

An Intelligent Lover's Love Letter

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl….
However, the girl's father does not like him and want them to stop their
relationship…… and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..
he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1. The great love that I have for you
2. is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3. grows every day. When I see you,
4. I do not even like your face;
5. the one thing that I want to do is to
6. look at other girls. I never wanted to
7. marry you. Our last conversation
8. was very boring and has not
9. made me look forward to seeing you again.
10. You think only of yourself.
11. If we were married, I know that I would find
12. life very difficult, and I would have no
13. pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14. to give, but it is not something that
15. I want to give to you. No one is more
16. foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17. able to care for me and help me.
18. I sincerely want you to understand that
19. I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20. if you think this is the end. Do not try
21. to answer this. Your letters are full of
22. things that do not interest me. You have no
23. true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24. I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25. I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!!

However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES ", meaning-only to read 1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15,17,19,21,23,25 (Odd lines) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..

Which Indian City do you Belong to ?

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:08:00 +0000

Which Indian City do you Belong to ?

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and.
They start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's DELHI

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their Friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are in AMRITSAR

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software Program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's BANGALORE

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's CHENNAI

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home being friends.
You are in GOA

Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea-stall & a thattukada (dhaba)…

U R NOW IN KERALA

Re: Very true things about girl.

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:58:00 +0000

Very true things about girl.

When a GIRL is quiet … millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing … she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions …. she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds … she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest .. she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday… she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' .. she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' …. no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person ….

Find a guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

who calls you back when you hang up on him.

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who … kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

Funny Kido Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:12:00 +0000

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when awoman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was starknaked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from theback seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note fromhis mother The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are notnecessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During herstruggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer thephone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She'shitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's lockerroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbingtowels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and thenasked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I wasinterrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.. Looking up and down at myuniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writingthe report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Isthat right?' 'Yes, that's right ,' I told her.. 'Well, then,' she said asshe extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of thestation. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, andI saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' heasked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finallyhe said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She wasunfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly thecanes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair offalse teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitablebarrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy willnever believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw herdad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heardthe intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that properburial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and withsonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father alwayssaid: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole hegoes.'

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wastingmy time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and theywon't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingeredthrough the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He pickedup the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had beenpressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it'sAdam's underwear!'

Bang ur head on the wall if u dont know the answer.

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 09:08:00 +0000

Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.

They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.

Here are some of them:-

************ ********* **

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced
incorrectly. What is it?

********

2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What
time is it?

********

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart.
The bottom rung is one foot from the water.

The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one
hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?

********

4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a
window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is
the bear?

********

5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

********

6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass
on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the
floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?

********

7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has
been dug with a square edged shovel?

********

8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water
which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight,
mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same
time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?

Same question, but the location is in Canada ?

********

9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978,
thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.

********

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the
other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in
the center field?

********

11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

********

Scroll down for answers..... .......

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*
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*
*
*
*
*
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********

1. The word "incorrectly. "

********

2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between
two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.

********

3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)

********

4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole,
and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

********

5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you
follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed
before addition.

So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.

********

6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked
his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.

********

7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of
dirt.

********

8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F
water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water
in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.

The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it.
Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...

********

9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.

********

10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

********

11. The temperature.

********

A different Love letter

noreply@blogger.com (Black Mailers) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 09:02:00 +0000

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.

**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?

**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me
because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you
hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you
and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00
A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in
expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and
it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in
confusion whether to love me or not.

Eagerly awaiting your reply..

Love, Aakash

*********************

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........

Aakash,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the
class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she
stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No

**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is
it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I
come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving
you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.

Hope everything is clear to you.

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Men always have better friends.. They will stand by you, no matter what….!!!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

WAT A LOVELY AND INTELLIGENT LOVE LETTER.:-)

Which Indian City do you Belong to ?

Re: Very true things about girl.

Funny Kido Stuff

Bang ur head on the wall if u dont know the answer.

A different Love letter