Latest posts on Email Jokes PG13

What do you do with old watches contributed by SS

Fri, 25 May 2012 00:03:44 +0200

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Timing! contributed by TheSimpsons

Thu, 24 May 2012 23:42:37 +0200

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Gabriel contributed by SS

Thu, 24 May 2012 20:02:29 +0200

Are you the Manager? contributed by TheSimpsons

Thu, 24 May 2012 07:57:02 +0200

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Florida hunter - What's for supper? Deer and Snake smothered in gravy! contributed by AdB

Thu, 24 May 2012 04:15:45 +0200

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Sometimes you get EXACTLY what you ask for: The cake needs to read: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'. contributed by TheSimpsons

Thu, 24 May 2012 00:57:58 +0200

Can only be a Cruiser ... contributed by SS

Wed, 23 May 2012 23:51:10 +0200

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Never trust a tatoo artist with no tatoos... contributed by AdB

Wed, 23 May 2012 15:52:57 +0200

Press the any key .. contributed by PH

Wed, 23 May 2012 12:30:37 +0200

Facebook status updates ... contributed by PH

Wed, 23 May 2012 08:07:37 +0200

New TITANIC movie .. featuring your favourite animals .. contributed by PH

Wed, 23 May 2012 03:49:58 +0200

Mind blowing facts contributed by TheSimpsons

Wed, 23 May 2012 00:25:52 +0200

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Hair cut - african style contributed by TheSimpsons

Tue, 22 May 2012 16:11:49 +0200

These aren't the droids you are looking for ... contributed by zero

Tue, 22 May 2012 12:26:30 +0200

Why I Love Mom contributed by TheSimpsons

Tue, 22 May 2012 04:17:07 +0200

WHY I LOVE MOM

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, 'I'm tired,
and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed'

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next
day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the
freezer for supper the following evening, checked the
cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put
spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot
for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load
of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a
loose button

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the
phone back on the charger and put the telephone book
into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung
up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She
stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher,
counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a
text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and
stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the
grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on
her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer,
brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.'

'I'm on my way,' she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and brought the
cat inside, then made sure the doors were locked and the
patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their
bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty
socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with
the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing
for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She
added three things to her 6 most important things to do
list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to
no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed.� He scratched
his crotch and farted, and

...without another thought, went to bed.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?

CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't
die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

Send this to some phenomenal women today...they'll love
you for it! I just did.

THEN, GO TO BED!

(441 words)

For all the dog lovers contributed by TheSimpsons

Tue, 22 May 2012 00:08:31 +0200

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