I posted it. Without regret. Even when she read it and posted her own feelings of intense anger over what I said, I didn’t regret it. Even after she called me and told me how angry she was, I didn’t regret it. This is unusual for me because normally I cower, feel guilty and apologize. She and I are two very different people. She is the strong one and I am the meek one. I always assume I’m wrong or that it’s my fault. But this time I stood my ground. It felt pretty damn amazing.

Unless you are living this situation it’s very hard to explain it. I am in the middle of two very different sides. There is the one side of the loving stay at home dad who was always there for us and then there is the other side…. I see both sides clearly and empathize for both but have essentially chosen a side to be on, as well, and it’s not the “loving stay at home dad” side.

My father was who he was. I loved him and STILL love him. He was my father and that will never change. But he was not a good person… at least not all the time. He left this earth as one person in my eyes and emerged a completely different person in my eyes a few years later after my older sister finally spilled the beans about who he really was. This opened the floodgates and I found out a lot more than I ever bargained for. I have no recourse, no way to get answers, no one to yell at it or blame. I can only hope that someday I will get to where he is and will have the chance to get those answers. And I hope the rainbows and butterflies of Heaven where everything is perfect and there is no sadness or anger will hold off just long enough so I can express my true feelings that I have had to feel down here on this plane for so long.

Those feelings are mine and mine alone. My sister has her feelings and those are hers and hers alone. She knows where I stand and I know where she stands. But I am not pussyfooting around it anymore. I have every right to feel what I want to feel. People always tell me to “move on” or “he’s gone” or “you can’t hold onto this resentment”. I have to hold back the urge to punch them.

Move on – Well lets see…… He has been dead for 17 years. I have since been married, divorced, moved across the country, married again, gave birth to two children, miscarried twice, said goodbye to countless dogs who have left our family, celebrated tons of birthdays, attended weddings, partied with friends and I’m on the verge of graduating from college. I would say that qualifies as “moving on”.

He’s gone – Yeah, duh! He is gone. But guess what, he left behind a lot of shit! Part of him still lives within me and it’s a battle I have to fight EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. His emotions, his traits, his temper, his ups and downs, it’s haunting… it’s daunting. It’s always there! Not only are those things there but the fact that everything he claimed to be was a lie so I feel like my entire life up until he died was a lie! How does one contend with that? How do you explain this to your kids?

You can’t hold on to this resentment – Heh. Ok. Sure. I’ll just forgive and forget. And when I’m faced with reunions with dear family members that I was taken away from or have never even met and I have to try and insert myself back into their lives when I have been absent for 20+ years I’ll just say, oh well, this is a piece of cake. I got this. Look, I don’t live my life pissed off at him. I don’t eat, breath and sleep this resentment. But dammit there are times when I have to face the results of what he did and try to figure out how to proceed.

It’s not like he abused me, then died. Or it’s not like he was an absentee father and then died. In other words, it was not just me that he hurt. It was not just me that has to deal with his actions. His actions tore my family apart. His actions resonate and will continue to resonate for the rest of my life. They didn’t die with him… though the answers for it did. So, moving on will continue, yes, but forgetting and letting go of resentment will not. It can’t.

This doesn’t mean I’m walking around every day hating him. It doesn’t mean I sit in the corner crumpled up crying and unable to function. It simply means that I will never forget what he did. I will never get away from what he did. It’s in the eyes and hearts of every single one of the family members whom he hurt and whom didn’t get to watch me grow up or even meet me. The resentment and bitterness will always be there but it does not run my life. If I want to make jokes about how crazy my dad was then let me. If I choose to say something negative about him then let me. I feel what I feel.

The whole point is, ironically, I feel liberated all of a sudden. I stood up to my sister. I own my feelings about my dad. They are mine and I will do with them whatever I want. If I want to put them on Facebook, I will. If I want to stand on a street corner holding a sign that says “I’m the product of a psycho dad” then I will. But, honestly, isn’t that what Facebook and blogs are for now days? It’s me standing on the proverbial street corner shouting “MY DAD WAS NUTS!”.

The only thing I try to question is why I do it. Why do I put it out there? For one, I’m an open book. I really don’t have filters so I just let everything hang out. Sometimes I think I should be more guarded but at the end of the day, it is just not who I am. If it’s a part of me, then you will get it. I don’t hold back. What you see is what you get. I view my life story, regarding my father, as interesting. It’s often just great fodder! It just so happens that this is a true story, not a made up Lifetime movie as it sometimes feels like. Writing about it helps me, too. It’s almost like having a conversation with myself where I find renewed strength and reassurance in my own words.

I respect the view of my younger sister. I respect the view of my older sister. I respect my own view. And I’m here to build my own life, blaze my own path and feel my own feelings. I will not be told how to feel or how to deal with the mess my father left behind. I will simply move forward, rebuild the relationships he stole from me and create a better life for my own children. That is moving on.

The dress is a light and airy, country-style dress…. possibly similar to the type that gets immortalized in country songs. I’m already partial to dresses like that because the country singin’ dudes make ’em sound so awesome! Go ahead, listen to some country, you’ll see what I mean. Wearing a dress like that makes me want to sit on the front porch of a large southern plantation, barefoot of course,  fanning myself with a little cardboard fan while sippin’ sweet tea waitin’ for my beau to walk up the gravel driveway and sweep me off my feet. Too Gone With the Wind? To hick-a-billy for you? Too bad. It’s my daydream dammit.

OK, the dress…

Bold and sassy!

The little sweater, if you can call a thin, sleeveless garment a sweater…

It has POCKETS! How cute is that?!

The equally inappropriate shoes for today…

Cute mule wedges

Hold the phone! Something odd happened when I put on today’s outfit. I lost all sense of how chilly it was and felt amazing just wearing it!! The whole outfit is comfortable and fun and sassy. I even busted out my little black clutch in order to bring more fun! More pizazz! More oomph! More HOLLA! Oh, sorry… got carried away. Dressing like this does that to me. I become a diva and start strutting unnecessarily. “Oh, look at those daaaarling little ziploc bags over there! I must have some!” <begin catwalk to 3 aisles over>

Do I look like a J. Crew ad?

How about this one? JC Penney ad maybe? Don't say Kmart. Please just don't say Kmart.

"Has anyone see my wittle fwuffy trophy doggie named Schmoopie?"

I’m guessing this is what I would look like if I was photographed by paparazzi and put in People Magazine…

~Celeb Sightings~ Angel spotted leaving a local restaurant after having brunch with Cameron Diaz.

(this picture is actually the result of me walking back towards the camera as I’m yelling at my boys to stop bumping the damn tripod while mommy is working!)

Just me and the dress minus the pizazz.

So, did hubs strike gold again? Did he not? Sweater or no sweater? I definitely feel like adding red heels to this dress. How fun would that be!?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Welp! That’s it folks! We are done here! The week of having the hubs dress me is OVAH!!! I would say it was quite successful and nothing like I expected it to be. My darling husband went way above and beyond anything I ever expected of him. Personally, I think he did a great job. There are just some minor tweaks with shoes and accessories that I would change but aside from that I will probably be wearing each outfit again, as you saw it.

Being overdressed for vacuuming and doing dishes on a couple of the days was odd, but then again, I have been known to overdress for no occasion at all. Sometimes I just like to feel good without a reason and clothes do the trick … when they aren’t yoga pants and layered t-shirts. So, yeah, I have vacuumed the house in heels. OK? I’ve also done it naked, but that’s besides the point. And NO I have not vacuumed in the nude while wearing heels. Just to answer that question.

Anyway, I wanted to find a way to wrap up this week with something meaningful. So, I have cleaned out my clothes and gotten rid of many nice things that I realized I just don’t wear anymore or things that aren’t as flattering as I had once thought they were. I also went through my shoes and took out seven pairs that I will not wear again… including the pair from day two (oy!). I am not going to be dropping these items off in some random donation bin or even at the Salvation Army like I would normally do. Instead I am taking these bags of clothing directly to the homeless shelter offices that I have volunteered for a few times. The clothing will go directly to homeless women in need. It’s a small thing to pay it forward like that considering the generosity I was shown this week by my husband.

In closing, I appreciate you for keeping up with my little experiment this week and humoring me. It has been fun and I know I got carried away a few times… I mean, props? Really? So, thanks for sticking around despite me.

Hopefully a new week-long experiment will surface soon. Hubs still doesn’t like the idea of me cooking the meals for a week though. So, any suggestions y’all have please share!

Muwah!

It took three days and four brand spankin’ new outfits thrown into my lap for me to realize that the hubs was not planning on playing by the rules from the very beginning. He had an agenda. At first I told him he was cheating. I felt like he wasn’t being true to what I had set out to do…. wait, what was it that I set out to do exactly? We aren’t curing cancer here. Anyway, regardless, I wanted him to dress me from my own collection of clothing. Instead he chose to go out and buy new stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I will never complain about getting new clothes. But I thought he was taking the easy way out.

After the latest outfit was tossed my way I began to realize that he wasn’t really cheating. I’m not saying it was harder for him to shop for me but I think picking out new clothing that I would look good in is harder than picking out things I already own. He had to start from scratch, choose things that he liked as opposed to things I liked. He had all the control and non of my commentary. Lucky for me, his taste is pretty good.

See, in the hubs usual style, he comes at you with guns loaded but hidden in the back waistband of his pants. You would think that after 9 years together I would have caught on to this…that I would know that hubs doesn’t do anything without a pre-planned agenda all the while seemingly casual or spontaneous.  But, the hubs was reluctant in the beginning…adamant that he was not going to participate, actually. So I never saw any of this coming. All the while, he was scheming and planning. The only thing I can’t figure out though, is why. I know he loves me and he does spoil me often in other ways. But I’m not sure what would drive him to willingly pry open that wallet of his and shop every day for something new for me to wear. Is it just out of sheer pleasure of making me happy? Despite his rough and gruff demeanor he does enjoy making me smile. But I can’t quite put my finger on his motives…. unless it was all about grooming me to get a job.

OK, let’s move on to today’s ensemble:

Simple black trousers, accentuated with dog hair

Shirt number one

Shirt number two

The shoes

And now for the complete outfit:

The "GET A JOB!" outfit

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

I look like I'm ready to hit the law office! I almost have the paralegal degree and now I have the outfit too!

"Brown v. Board of Education clearly states that the "separate but equal" doctrine violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution"

Or maybe you have mistaken me for a bank employee…

"Hi! Welcome to Chase Bank! If you open a new checking account today you will receive a free box of checks because people don't use checks anymore thanks to debit cards and we have about 8 billion boxes of checks that we are trying to unload on our customers."

Or do I resemble a United Airlines flight attendant?

"...two exits at the front of the aircraft and two exits over the wings..."

"...and two exits at the rear of the aircraft."

"When you weren't looking I secretly took your oversized carry-on that you hit 10 other passengers with while trying to squeeze it into the overhead bin and I chucked it out of the service entrance of the aircraft onto the tarmac. May I offer you a beverage and a snack today?"

Today I wore this outfit nowhere. My son and my dogs were the only ones who got to enjoy it. Wait, that’s a lie. I did have it on when I dropped my SUV off at the auto shop behind my house. I’m not quite sure what the guys who work there were thinking when they saw me today. See, they usually drive past me as I stand in my front yard wearing my bathrobe and pajamas while my dogs take a shit.

But, back to the subject at hand. My “get a job” outfit will hopefully land me a job eventually! I am pretty sure I would fit in well with any law office if I wear stuff like this. Hubs did a good job with this. I just need to tweak it with a brightly colored belt and matching shoes… I was thinking either red or blue. I could also choose an equally bright colored shirt to wear underneath the button-down in lieu of colored shoes. I probably shouldn’t walk into a Chase bank looking like this though or customers might start asking me for home loan applications.

Anyway, the week long experiment is almost over. Tomorrow is the last day and I already know what I’m wearing. The outfit from Wednesday that had a malfunction is being exchanged and should be back home and ready for me to wear by tonight. Stay tuned for the final day… if you are actually still following this whole thing.

Capri pants

White Bo-Ho style shirt

A scarf! SHOCKING!

Wedges

I know, I KNOW! Another scarf. Normally I would not wear a scarf with my outfits 3 days in a row. But I have to adhere to the rules and wear whatever the hubs chooses. In all fairness, I was supposed to be wearing something else today that did NOT include a scarf but due to a wardrobe malfunction we had to change the outfit to this. It actually worked out better because it’s a rainy day and wearing a dress in the rain would not be too fun. Regardless, it was all hub’s idea to put this outfit on today. I had no input.

I must say this is a comfortable ensemble to wear just like the previous two. This is the outfit he came home from the store with on Sunday so it is all new. The only things I’m wearing that were already mine are the necklaces and earrings. Once again, the hubs picked a shirt that I would have NEVER picked for myself. For one thing, it’s white. I avoid white shirts because it’s just pointless to try and keep them clean while wearing them and keeping them from turning dingy over time. Keeping whites white while doing laundry is not exactly my strong suit. Second, the waist-line is not flattering to my bulgy belly. So, I’m walking around suckin’ it in again today. If I keep this up I will eventually tone my bell-ay up pretty nicely! BONUS!

A few days ago a friend of mine commented “Wouldn’t you just fall over if he opted to buy you a new outfit for each day of the week?!?! Imagine THAT!” I laughed and thought, yeah but that will never happen. He just wanted to do this for the first day. The hubs is awesome but he won’t go that far!

Um, he IS going that far. Every day he comes home with something new and it’s only day three! You know, when I started this experiment I was looking forward to it because it would be fun and different for he and I. I knew I would blog about it but figured it would be way more fun for me and much less entertaining for everyone else. I also figured it might actually fail terribly because the hubs would have to choose clothing that I already own…. boring! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine him coming home with new clothes for me to wear. Never. That was not the intention at all. My intentions were to make him do something uncomfortable and enjoy telling the story in my own way. That’s it. But here we are, on day three and I’m enjoying another new outfit. I would like to say I’m speechless, but we all know that’s just not true.

I am definitely taken aback by his generosity and effort in this. He really stepped up and owned this experiment! So, now I’m on a mission to find a way to pay him back and thank him. I just don’t know how to do it yet. Suggestions welcome!

Oh! Silly me! You haven’t seen the whole outfit put together yet!

Simplicity. With a scarf.

It is not as epic as day one. It’s not as different from my style as day two but I think it works. Chances are I will wear this outfit exactly as you see it, again. Well, unless y’all give me any feedback that makes me think otherwise…. which is totally OK by the way. You don’t have to like everything! Feel free to critique…. just leave my bad hair cut and pasty skin out of it, mkay?

Tomorrow is day four and I honestly have no idea what the hubs will put me in. He usually has the outfit picked out by now (or bought), but with the wardrobe malfunction and him not being at work today he is probably going to have to pick from my own boring selection of clothes! Oh what will he do!?

The pants

Shirt #1

Shirt #2

The accessory

The shoes - MaryJanes

Today’s ensemble contains one very important aspect that makes it immediately awesome….. PANTS! Yes, pants! Are you confused? Let me clarify… pants mean = I DON’T HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS!

OK, moving on. Due to my belief in full disclosure I will preface this entire post by saying that the pants, the shoes and the green tank were all in my “closet” (closet is in perfectly justifiable quotation marks because we don’t actually have any closets in this house. For real. NO. CLOSETS. So don’t send me links to funny websites that do nothing but bust people out for improperly using quotation marks, mkay?). However, the hubs came home from work last night with another new shirt and scarf. These were purchased at a store in the city after he left work yesterday and the subsequent purchase caused him to miss his train. I’m seriously going to kick my own ass tonight for being this spoiled by this man. I need a good ass-whoopin’. Oh and one more thing in the spirit of full disclosure: I’m hoping you can’t tell that I am sucking in my stomach in the pictures. I had a slight muffin top going so I basically stopped breathing for 10 minutes while I snapped the pics.

And now for the complete outfit:

I totally don't hate this picture. That's rare.

The shoes would not have been my choice.

Hello rump shaker!

Overall rating!

Once again, the hubs selected something I would never have chosen for myself… the shirt. I tend to avoid shirts with ruffles or anything busy about the cut or style. I gravitate towards bold colors and bold patterns. So this shirt is against anything I normally stand for. But guess what? I LOVE IT! Like I really, really love it! And it is so comfortable, too. The material is soft and forgiving and it makes me feel good. The only thing that would make the shirt better is tan skin.

The pants cover my glowsticks nicely and I know you and all the citizens within a 10 mile radius of me are thanking the hubs for choosing pants today. The pants may be a bit dated but as much as I obsess about what I wear, trends and fashion are usually not on my radar until a year after they go OUT of style. I’m part late bloomer and part I’m-gonna-wear-what-I-want-when-I-want-how-I-want.

The shoes are the only part of this outfit I would not have chosen. In all fairness I set out all of my shoes on the bed last night for hubs to chose from. Even the pairs I was praying he would not chose. And the one pair I hoped he wouldn’t chose are the exact pair he chose. Le sigh. I attribute this to something I call a “telepathic F-you!”. He read my mind and knew I was hoping he would chose another pair. And when he zoned in on the pair I was completely against he nailed me with a telepathic spitefulness and chose them anyway. But I was a good girl and kept my mouth shut and I’m wearing them reluctantly proudly today. Ok ok, full disclosure (dammit for believing in that!), I may have tried to sway him by choosing a similar pair of shoes that would have worked better. But he shot me down, rightfully so. Rules are still rules.

My son’s preschool teacher asked me today if I was going to be wearing scarves every day this week. Well, yes ma’am I just might be! Scarves are one common denominator that the hubs and I share in this life. We both love ’em! Well, we do share other common ground like our love of road trips, paranormal shows, dogs and our intense hate for LeBron James. Anyway, today I’m wearing another scarf he picked out for me and I love it. Everyone has there one go-to item that they wear all the time or just feel good in. Mine is the scarf. You can do so much with it and it’s just a fun accessory to use.

I jazzed up (is that a dated thing to say?) the outfit with a watch, bracelet, oversized owl ring and some earrings. Could be a hit or miss but I don’t care. I’m quite happy with today’s selection. Minus the shoes. But hey, the hubs isn’t perfect.

Today’s lesson learned is, I feel naked without pockets on my butt. Pockets on the ass of your pants provide comfort. They are like a security blanket! So, once again, today I have left my comfort zone. Sure, the pants weren’t new but they were also ones I have not worn until today. I bought them resale recently. Another of my loves in this life…. RESALE SHOPPING! Anyway, hopefully the ass I’m donning today isn’t obnoxious or an assault to anyone’s eyes. Sorry if it is. But better this than another day of my glowsticks! Am I right?

Stay tuned… if you aren’t already bored that is.

The hubs bought me a dress for Day One's selection. This is something I would never pick out for myself. Day one has already taught me to step out of my comfort zone.

The hubs also bought these shoes for me yesterday. Apparently he had his eye on them a few weeks ago. I must say they are a perfect compliment to the dress.The beautiful summery scarf I will enjoy for a long time.

The lovely summery scarf that I will enjoy for a long time.

TA-DA! Overdressed? Slightly. Comfortable? Yes. Overall Rating? Love it!

Doin' the Paris Hilton ... Mom-style!

Lets start with a disclaimer today: The photos above are not retouched or photoshopped in any way. I really don’t have a chin and that truly is the color of my skin. Turn the brightness level down on your screen if your eyes are hurting. 

Day one has been interesting. I had no major plans other than laundry and taking my younger son to pre-school (then again, those are my plans most days). So to say I was slightly overdressed is an understatement. But I really didn’t mind. It feels good to dress up for no reason sometimes, even though I might get a bunch of funny looks from the other moms at preschool. Regardless, whenever someone complimented my outfit today I immediately felt the need to explain why I was dressed up. Once I explained my little experiment and that my husband had not only picked everything out but he also purchased everything specifically for this occasion, well, they became enamored by him. He is receiving serious kudos around town. Bravo honey. Bravo.

While I was eating lunch at Panera Bread today I ran into a very dear woman that helped me through some rough “mommy” times when my boys were babies and is a big reason why my boys went to such an amazing preschool. I simply adore her. She is an amazing lady and to see her today put a big smile on my face. I am quite thankful that I didn’t run into her while I was going a day and half without a shower and wearing cut-off sweats and a dirty shirt, though. Whew! She looked at the way I was dressed and assumed I had started working again! That is when I had to tell her no, I’m still just a mom at home, then I explained the reason why I was dressed up. It felt pretty great to sit in Panera today and not feel frumpy.

So, day one is almost behind me and I have learned two very important things. Number one, I love my husband more than I ever thought possible and have gained an entirely new appreciation for him. Number two, I should probably step out of my comfort zone more often when I’m shopping for clothes. The hubs isn’t going to like this part, but that means he has to accompany me to the stores when it’s time to buy new clothes. Sorry honey, but you are just too good. It’s your own fault.

Regarding the outfit specifically, the hubs did great. I would not, however, have worn the scarf with this outfit because I think the color is slightly off from the dress and it detracted from the dress itself. I would have stuck with just the necklace. But, rules are rules and I have to wear everything the hubs says. That scarf and I will enjoy a lovely and long term relationship in the future anyway.

Today in the Chicago-land area it was a beautiful 80 degrees. Tomorrow, however, in typical Chicago Spring fashion, the temperature won’t get above 55 degrees. Le sigh. So, hopefully the hubs won’t be in a vindictive mood and dress me in shorts or another dress. Stay tuned!

P.S. – My apologies to Matteson, IL residents for being subjected to my glowsticks (aka: legs) today.

I was outside weeding, planting flowers and rearranging my solar lights when he pulled up. I casually asked him what he bought at the store and he said, “Your outfit for tomorrow. The first day has to be a new outfit!” I giggled nervously but not because I was afraid of what he chose. It was because of my shock and amazement that he actually made the effort to purchase NEW clothes for day one! The kindness and energy he is putting towards an experiment he didn’t even want to participate in is pretty unbelievable.

OK, here are two confessions that I should get out of the way now. Number one, until he came home with the new clothes today, I had completely forgotten about the experiment. Seriously. How I forgot is unclear but I’m pretty sure it’s because I suffer from “Dory Syndrome”. Number two, I was never truly worried about his taste and was actually looking forward to this project because I honestly trust his judgment.

Oh and I should mention just one more thing. After coming home from his errands with my new clothes today, he went back out and bought me a pair of shoes to match day one’s collaboration. And, while purchasing the shoes he bought another outfit for sometime later in the week (weather depending). Two NEW outfits for this week and a new pair of shoes.

Do you hate me yet? It’s OK. I almost hate myself for being this spoiled. But I think I can justify it in a way that makes this more palatable…

If I want to hang out with him in the evenings during the week it means I sit on the couch as he sits in his recliner and watches his “double nickel” (his pet name for his new 55″ flat screen TV) and volleys between various sports. Basketball, baseball, hockey and random college volleyball games flicker across the screen. The occasional lame, macho-man movie like Conan the Barbarian or Braveheart is thrown into the mix during halftimes or commercial breaks. No joke, this man will watch as many sports or surf as many channels as he possibly can during a 3-hour stretch of the evening. I make him aware of my presence by shouting, “That was a badass dunk!” or “He should have made that goal!” or tossing out random sports questions that I don’t yet know the answer to during peak listening times when I know he isn’t 100% tuned out to my existence. These are calculated moves and I know just how to time them. It has become an art actually. These are very typical weekday evenings. Needless to say, I get in all my tv time while he is at work.

The husband is also incapable of saying, “I love you” over the phone. When I call him at work to say hello, or ask him a question or remind him that I’m out spending his money while he’s slaving away over a few computer monitors, I say “Bye, I love you” and he either grunts something, or says, “yep”. I say it louder in a way that completely mocks him and as I’m yelling, “I LOVE Y…” he hangs up on me.

So you see, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies (my heart bleeds for you Adam Levine) around here. Did I also mention that when he is tired, like really really tired, he becomes the abominable but silent bear whom you dare not rustle or disturb in any way? Because he does. *shiver*

Anyway, all of our husbands have their faults to counterbalance their amazing sides. We each love our husbands or wives or significant others or our cats in ways that only we can understand. Somehow the world gave me a man who loves sports, hates William Shatner and who tolerates my neurotic and often down-right crazy side. So, I’m keeping him.

Stay tuned for photos of tomorrow’s Day One Collaboration.

This morning I received a different sort of article from him. I have no idea how he ran across it because it is neither sports related nor Hollywood tabloid fodder. And, to be honest, I didn’t even ask because as soon as I read the title I said, “WE ARE DOING THIS!!!” Seriously, I didn’t even read the whole article. Three minutes later it was posted to my Facebook status and thus confirmed, signed, sealed and delivered. No going back now.

Beginning Saturday, my husband will dress me.

Here are the rules:

1. He cannot pick the clothes based on what he thinks I would like. He must pick based on what he likes.
2. He has to choose directly from my drawers as they are (which are not exactly neat and tidy). I will not organize or set up piles for him to choose from.
3. He must pick shoes and at least ONE other accessory (earrings, bracelet, necklace… his choice).
4. I must wear EXACTLY what he choses and take a picture of me in the outfit.
5. It starts Saturday and ends next Friday… 7 days worth of outfits.

To make this slightly more interesting and up the stakes I will add one more rule, but I will leave that rule up to whomever is reading this. Have your suggestions in by Friday evening and I will add the 6th rule that I choose to the list.

The hardest part about this, or maybe it’s the easiest, depending on how you look at it, is that I have a small selection of clothes. I have been a stay-at-home mother for almost 7 years. He is going to be left to choose from jeans, capri pants, skirts dresses and boring shirts. It’s not like he will be picking out my work clothes or going-out-on-the-town-clothes or anything fun like the boyfriend did in the article (we may have to revisit this experiment when I go back to work). He must pick the outfits from my dull collection of clothing.

Will he jazz me up with accessories like I enjoy doing to my outfits?

Should I make him choose my purse for that day too?

Will he dress me better than I dress myself?

Regardless, he is reluctant. Defiant actually. He is going to continue to try and refuse this deal but it’s futile. I will bully him into it. Now, there is a reciprocal deal on the table that could prove to be even more interesting in the coming weeks, but he hates that idea too. I said that I would cook for 5-7 days straight. I would choose the meals and he would have to eat everything I make. Seems fair, right? Well, he said something like blah blah blah poison control and how he hates the taste of charcoal…. so we are still working on that.

I wish I could say I was being original but I’m not…  the BeautyRiot Diva did it already. But it’s not exactly a patented idea or anything I feel too guilty about copying. I simply love the idea and thought it would be a fun and a great way to make things interesting. We all do the same things day in and day out. Finding a way to spice up our daily routines is a great way to laugh a little more and break up the monotony of life. So here we go…..

Edited to add: The Husband REFUSES to start on Saturday. My bullying did work in getting him to participate, however, I had to give a little and let go of the weekend dressings…. So we start Monday. 

Heh. Joke was on us. First of all, we now believe she is part coon hound and part cat. Yes. Part cat! Somehow the laws of nature have allowed a dog and a cat to breed and create an offspring of the Eden variety. She pounces. She is stealthy. She sleeps in a ball. She can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Eden was around one year old when we adopted her. So now she is closing in on two. Though chronologically she is nearing the age of two, physically she may as well be six months old. She needs to be kenneled when we are away because of her separation anxiety and puppy chewing skills. She also needs to be kenneled at night for bedtime because of her middle-of-the-night antics that would ensue while us humans and Murray are sound asleep.

Have you ever watched Animal Planet or any show on Discovery Channel where they are releasing a wild animal from a cage? The people sort of stand cautiously around the cage behind the opening and brace themselves for the release. The cage opens and out comes this wild beast who runs swiftly off into the distance in the blink of an eye. Well, that’s me opening Eden’s kennel door in the morning or after a long afternoon of her being in there while I’m away.

Sidebar: If you are of the type who is against kenneling a dog or believes I’m being cruel because I have Eden in a kennel during certain situations, move along. You have no clue what it’s like raising dogs and keeping them safe. Mkay?

Eden’s kennel is upstairs for two reasons. Number 1, there is no room downstairs for the kennel. Number 2, she sleeps in it at night and if that kennel were downstairs while we were sleeping upstairs she would be beside herself with angst. Remember, she has separation anxiety. As long as we are 10-15 feet away from her kennel while sleeping then she is just fine.

So, yesterday I returned home after being gone for a couple of hours and went upstairs to release my sweet little girl from her kennel. As usual, Murray excitedly followed me upstairs to make sure I was able to open the kennel properly and lend his assistance if I needed it. He also needed to make sure that I let his little sister out because he obviously missed her greatly. And, as usual, she bounds out of her kennel while Murray barks with excitement and they tear down the stairs together at lightning speed. Normally I am fine as they sweep past me on the stairs and get down into the living room to playfully attack each other before I’m even halfway down.

But, would I be writing this post if everything went along normally yesterday? No. I would not.

The three of us reach the small 3’x5′ landing, which is the halfway point of the stairs, together. After that it all becomes a blurry turn of events that I really can’t recall but ends with my death grip off the stair railing in some contorted position at the bottom of the stairs. The dogs are off playing in the living room, as usual, without a single concern that they almost killed me, or maimed me for life.

I pry my own hands off the railing and grab my sore elbow and rub my shin. My son runs over to me asking if I’m ok. Finally! Someone cared! He didn’t see or hear me fall but heard my cries of, “damn dogs!” or “son of a bitch!” or “OWWWWW!”. I stand up and walk it off leaving behind some pride and some elbow skin. I survived.

I’m not ready to laugh yet.

Today I am incredibly sore from my lovehandles all the way up to my neck. Every muscle in my torso hurts while my dogs are sleeping a few feet away, soundly and peacefully.

Eden is still and may always be timid, scared and prone to pee on the floor at the slightest tinge of fear. She will always enjoy resting her head on Murray’s behind and will always need her big brother. But she will hopefully grow out of the “bounding puppy” phase soon and calm down! Hopefully she will also outgrow the need for the kennel so there won’t be any more release mishaps like yesterday. Murray and Eden together are a culmination of hair and insanity in a very small house.

Until then, I have learned my lesson. Let the dogs go down the stairs first, always, because my 155lb ass falls like a bag of bricks.

I hate that they hid behind the First Amendment to do it.

But I LOVE that I can complain about it openly and choose to boycott them if I want.

I hate campaign ads.

I hate politicians.

But I LOVE that I can openly complain about both.

I hate voting for crappy people to lead our communities.

I hate their phoniness and lies.

But I LOVE that I have the right to vote and the right to protest if I choose to.

I hate the government, sometimes.

I hate the justice system, sometimes.

But I LOVE that we have both because without them we would be much worse off.

I hate Rush Limbaugh.

Enough said there.

I hate Martha Stewart (you had to know that was coming in an “I hate” post).

But I LOVE that I can write about how much I hate both of them, publicly.

I hate that military families have to spend the holidays without their loved ones because they are overseas fighting for our protection.

I hate that we lose good servicemen to unnecessary violence in those war torn regions.

But most of all, I LOVE that they have or had chosen the job of being a veteran to ensure that those  privileges of a free life, free speech, liberty and happiness are always protected.

Thanks to all the veterans past and present who laid down their lives for our freedoms and who continue to fight for them…

God Bless you all!