Embracing Change

Crossroads

2010-09-20T22:00:00.004-04:00

I've been in this situation before. That inevitable crossroad just when I thought that the journey is about a straight road ahead where I don't have to choose between the left or the right road. It's not even the paved versus the unpaved road. It is about left or right.

I have but a few months left to decide. I have several options to chose from, none of which involves algebraic equations inorder to be solved. It is indeed a crossroad.

The issue with me is that although I adopt to change easily, I would rather have it the easier way. To just stay put.

I have to decide. There are so many things that I need to weigh upon. I prayed and pray for more that the best possible decision that I might make is being done with only one thing to consider. That it is for the good of everybody involve.

I have to start doing something now. Although the consensus is to go with the first plan, my mind is still not 100 percent into it.

I need a sign.

Yet I still don't know what sign I am looking for.

To love and to hold from 2001 until death do us part

2010-09-08T22:39:00.004-04:00

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary.

It feels like yesterday when I think about how we managed to prepare all the essentials (and non-essentials) for the wedding. To have good friends and my dear cousin Ai helped me through it all is so heart warming. It was a marathon of doing all those stuff from March until the final day on Sept 8, 2001.

On the day of the wedding, Ai and I still had the time to go and pick up the flowers for the bouquet from the shop which was not ready the day before. I didn't panic. I don't know anything about stress and pressure. For me, it was just about getting everything ready before I head to the hotel for my hair and make-up.

And I can't remember the rest of it, ok, the pictures will definitely show that we did a good job. I mean, there was no wedding coordinator to help us out. It was a collaboration of sorts between friends - Chat, Balot, Ai and I.

My dear Sir Binoy (my favorite HS teacher) sent us the backdrop for the reception and for that I am forever grateful to him. My aunts (my mom's sisters) were so helpful and Hubs family is so wonderful for embracing me into their family.

Ok, the wedding ceremony and the reception were done in style, in our own simple style. It rained after the reception as we had back to the hotel with me being Mrs Ouano officially.

The next day we, the newly weds, hied off to Panglao, Bohol for the "honeymoon" or should I say, a much needed respite - rest and recreation. Both set of parents, unaware of our plans, were looking for us and this made me smile until this day from the time my Mama told me about how we were missed the following day. Our wedding presents were opened at the same time the World Trade Center was attacked on Sept. 11, the whole episode unfolding on TV.

Our love story is not one for the books except maybe the courtship stage or the lack of it seemed to be an interesting topic. We met because we worked from the same company and to make a very long story shorter, we dated or should we say we were having MU (mutual understanding as in Murag Uyab), enjoyed each other's company and shared so many interesting stories together over good food that after two years, on a Good Friday, the hubs asked the most anticipated question of all times. Who am I to say No? Having been raised relatively different and the seven years age gap, we have our own differences but managed to co-exist harmoniously with each other.

Love, is the basic foundation of a relationship, trust keep such relationship intact, communication makes the relationship stronger but it is the care-free attitude and oftentimes the respect for some privacy, or what's left of it, completes the equation as to how we managed to stay sane from day one until today. I would say respect is the most important ingredient in a relationship for it to last.

When I say respect, it is about keeping your cool when one is having a melt-down. We don't clash head on - we simply don't clash at all. I might have learned it the hard way but it is really important to simply store a bucket full of patience and count to 100 before I open my mouth and say something I might regret. He is the same way to me and because of that, arguments seldom happen.

It's not an easy road we take but we learned to cope with the ever changing life and its stages. Now that the boys are growing up and easier to managed, we simply take one day at a time and enjoy each other's company.

It's a long journey ahead but knowing that we are here for each other, we will buckle ourselves, and go on with the ride, with or without an itinerary.

Till death do us part.

This Side of Me

2010-09-07T22:10:00.002-04:00

I've always been an admirer of dresses yet I only owned two. A black one that I haven't worn yet (with tag on it) and a brown Loalde that I bought from Ayala-Cebu in 2003 that I haven't worn outside the house.

I am not sure why I decided to buy them in the first place. I love dresses but not on me. I love colourful fabrics from pastels to outrageous hues. I just don't like wearing them if there is such an option.

I'm into denims and shirts and there was one time when I hoard polo shirts of different colours. I love short pants but that was like some 10 years ago although I still have some pieces that I kept - hope couture -. I don't like wearing sleeveless tops either. I do sometimes but I don't usually.

Then I realized, I am in a way, so self-conscious. I think about people's perception subsconsciously. In my mind, there is always this thought that I have to follow a norm, a set of pattern, a guideline before I go out in the open. I know it is not right but this is how I feel.

My love for dresses and the sense of having an uncomfortable feeling of being in one is by far the most unexplainable contrast there is.

I want to break from this mold.

I will, one of these days, find that perfect dress and really wear it.

Which reminds me, exactly 9 years ago tomorrow, I was in a wedding dress although I cannot remember feeling uncomfortable in it.

Summer's End

2010-09-06T21:46:00.003-04:00

"Time flies so fast" is an overrated cliche already but nonetheless true.

Summer is about to end and a new season is about to start. How did we spend summer? Where did it go?

We tried to hold a lot of memories in our hearts, fond memories for sure. These are the times that when we tried to recollect will bring a smile into our face. A warm, good goose-bumpy feeling. Then we reminisce about the times that fun was all about having family and friends over good food and stories. Any stories that will bring laughter, that kind of laughter that bring tears to your eyes, that kind of laugh that makes your cheeks hurt. A non-stop laughter over laughter until we decide to feast on the food again.

Ahh, summer. Where did you go? Why do you have to go so soon when we are just enjoying every weekend with you?

There's a lot of things I might have taken for granted growing up. A lot of things that just passed by me without any meaning at all. Could it be because there are four seasons at this part of the world that I always cherish every season as it comes? Could it be because I know when the old season ends and a new season begins that I look forward to the days to come with anticipation matching that of a child waiting for Christmas Eve and for Santa to bring the presents?

Or am I just at this stage in life where I am more appreciative of things around me? Maybe I am. Or I am indeed.

Summer is about to end but come to think of it, as we usher a new season where leaves turn into a myriad of beautiful colours, so does life.

Reminiscing 1 - The Song

2010-05-30T21:52:00.002-04:00

Let me tell you a story. I guess I was about 5 years old when we still live in Annex (don't know why they called the street this name). My parents rented the 2nd floor of a house but I can't remember what the 1st floor was but probably rented it to other tenants as well. It was 1977 or earlier and it was after a strong earthquake, my first earthquake experience when our "aparador" swayed like crazy and my dad keeps on saying something like "si..si..(shoo-shoo) or ho..ho.." trying to make the quake stops. The following morning, the first song I remembered being played on the transistor radio was "Do you know where you're going to". That song stuck in my head all this time. I hated it for a while. I remember shutting my ears when I hear this song.

One day, I was walking and subconsciously hummed the song. I was taken aback. I don't understand why all of a sudden I remember that particular day so many years ago. The stairs leading to the main landing, the houses around me, the dogs barking, my pink shirt and short pants, people talking about the earthquake and the song. So clear, so crisp, the lyrics all so vivid. I can even memorize the lines and to think that I have never sang the song in any videoke sessions, even when one time, Parin said he like the song so much because the lyrics are so meaningful. I didn't give in. Never sang it. Never.

Until that one morning on my way to work when my MP3 runs out of battery. I hummed and I sang it not minding if somebody else will hear me. I am full of hope and positivity. I live by the thought that my glass is half-full. However, I am still a stranger to my adopted country and still searching for answers to some questions that I have put at the backseat of my mind.

But here's the song anyway;

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life's been showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you there's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughing at the questions
That you once asked of me

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long?
Before we see
How sad the answers
To those questions can be

The Mean Mint Chocolate Box

2009-11-28T13:23:00.004-05:00

Today is Saturday so it is housechores day. The boys are busy with their new bakugans and Parin has to go to work for month-end.

I started in the bedroom and an hour after the computer table, the little couch and the lamps were moved to a different corner. Another hour after, the things in the storage room are back in its proper bin. I talked about 30 minutes on the phone with a friend while preparing lunch then serving lunch. I dusted the furnitures, fluffed the throw pillows, re-arranged the jacket closet and washed the dishes.

Then I feel the hunger pangs are coming in so I had my regular tuna with rice lunch and decided to get the pineapple juice from the fridge when I noticed a solitary box of a month old chocolate mint. I grabbed it, flopped into the computer chair while I browsed web pages online,; Inquirer, Philstar, Freeman, Facebook, some blogs i've been following then I realized I was down to the last piece of mint chocolate.

Seriously, I can't believe I ate 12 of them round things in just one sitting. Now time to get up and burn off the calories.

I found her or she found me?

2009-11-25T22:03:00.002-05:00

I still have my Friendster account active although I am not a regular visitor like six months ago. I am glad that I didn't delete that account because I found a long lost friend. We're on each other's friends' list now but nothing has been said in between. I am still trying to figure out how I should reach her, what should I say, what words are appropriate?

She's been like the sister I never had. I was so protective of her without really being too meddlesome. We have so many fun times together and we held each other when words are not enough to say the heartaches she and I felt at different times in our lives before.

I am not too showy with my emotions but she is my opposite. She fights for me and cries for me.

Then we drifted apart.

A gap got in between us and yet I didn't know how it all started. Maybe I know the reason why but maybe that was not the case. Maybe I was just too busy, maybe I became uncaring and insensitive to her. I don't know what happened. Then I got mad, no upset. I was upset with her.

The last time we talked, we were crying, we threw blames like pingpong balls. I never listened to her explainations, she never saw my point, we parted with heavy hearts. It was 8 years ago.

Then we started communicating again, text cellphone calls. Nothing special. Just the usual "kumustahan". Then we moved to Canada and we lost touch.

I dreamt about her many times. I googled her name, her husband's. I couldn't get info yet I know where to send her a note if I really wanted to but I guess my pride got in the way.

Then that Friendster's "who viewed me" link came. I send her a friend request. She accepted it. Then it stops there.

It's not that easy reconnecting to a long lost best friend. I am not good at this. I find it too cheesy, too dramatic, soap opera material.

I am still in the middle of composing a letter for her. I will send it one of these days. On her birthday? On Christmas? Or do I really have to? Should we just start we're we've left and pretend that the gap never happened? That's just not me but I wonder if I have to inorder to rekindle the friendship.

I miss her though and I want to keep in touch with her again. Say, where should I start?

Fall and the Blues

2009-11-24T21:48:00.006-05:00

It's is officially fall. The leaves are almost gone from the trees. Some still cling on to the branches but I say they are about to fall and I give them a week to shed all of these leaves. The trees will look bare without the green trappings, they will look dead during winter time. But although they will be devoid of any signs of life, I love to see snow resting on them. Postcard-perfect.

I love winter now despite having to walk the boys to school. I love walking on fresh snow although I wish there's no such thing as a -40 degrees C temperature with the wind chill factored in. I am still mesmerized at how the lake turns into one white canvas in the middle of Aquitane Park during the deep freeze. I find it amusing watching dogs wearing their snow jacket and boots. Cute. Adorable.

But it is the fall season that I still find hard to relate with. The rain, dark clouds, gusty winds and the sudden change in temperature make me grumpy. Most of the time, I don't enjoy my morning walk after a rainy night because that's when the snails and the worms littered along the pathwalk. I hate that crunch sound as I step on a snail's shell no matter how much I tried to avoid it. The boys walk criss-crossed trying to avoid stepping on a worm with their hush voices saying "sorry, sorry" to the worms although I told them it's ok to step on them as they won't die anyway.

And the wind? It messes up my hair. My hair with a mind of its own seems to go any direction the wind tosses it.

I take the bus now from the boys' school to work because I can't walk and not contemplate about how pathetic the weather is. Walking clears up my mind but walking at this point in time makes me think about so many "what ifs" and the "I could haves" in my brain. I know, I shouldn't let these thoughts wander but sometimes I can't just help but get carried away.

Just like rainy days and mondays make some people feel the blues. I can't wait for fall to be over soon so I can shake the blues out of my head. I know some people won't like me when I say, "I can't wait for the first snow to fall", but i'll say it anyway. I can't wait for the weather network to show me that snow is just within the horizon.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Highlights of the Day

2009-06-04T21:28:00.003-04:00

1. PC Children's Charity Barbeque lunch at the workplace.

Nothing beats a free burger, sausage, pop plus a chance to win a prize during the raffle draw. Actually it is $2 for a burger, sausage and pop but Mr. M (my manager) picked the tab and paid the bill plus gave me 3 tickets. I hope to win something - ---

2. Harvey's Burger (burger again?), onion rings and poutine (fries with gravy and melt mozarilla cheese).

This time with Parin and the boys because we felt too lazy to prepare dinner. We ate under the mini-cabana at Harvey's near the apartment.

3. Tomorrow is Jean's Day and Timbits Friday at work.

Today I am thankful for..

2009-06-03T18:25:00.004-04:00

1. The chance to write something again. The last time I have updated this blog is like two months ago. There's so many things going on, all worth sharing but so little time to put them all into written words.

2. Wendy's chili (large but I shared half to Parin :) - ka sweet sad nako oi, hehehe). This is now considered one of my comfort foods. My friend M from work drive us all the way to Wendy's to get the chili.

3. Tim's medium cup double-double. Caffeine is my energy-booster (I know, I know, I should quit caffeine but I will start tomorrow)

4. My friend S from work (actually she works at the Head Office - and we haven't meet in person yet) for taking the time to call me and asked me if I am feeling better (I was sick and still I am but I psyched myself that I am feeling well) and I thought the call was work-related.

5. The boys big smiles when they picked me up from work this afternoon.

Now I wish my cough will just go away and fade into oblivion......

Meyer vs Kinsella

2009-04-04T22:37:00.006-04:00

With the "Harry Potter" series, I never read the book until everybody's talking about it - enough to 'rouse my curiosity. Now, everybody's talking about "Twilight" either the book or the movie and 3 of the other books after it. It reminds me of Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code", too. I heard it from the priest during one of his homily and I was intrigued then that the day after, I went to Coles and bought a copy, then I got "Angels and Demons" and the other two books prior to it - "Deception Point" and "Digital Fortress". I can't stop and declared myself Brown addict at that time.

I think I am ready to read one of Meyer's books and then decide from there if I should also get the succeeding 3 books. However, I am currently reading the latest shopaholic book by Kinsella and with the tons of other interesting books waiting in line, I won't probably get to "Twilight" until like middle of this year. But I can always start Twilight without finishing "Shopaholic and Baby" but that's like cheating again and the start of a series of procrastination from my end. Anyway, i'll get to it, i'm sure I will.

Currently on my bedroom desk are these titles waiting to be read:

1. The Alchemist - Pablo Coelho
2. Slumdog Millionaire (the one made into a movie) - Vikas Swarup
3. The Hour I First Believed - Wally Lamb (same author of She's Come Undone and I know This Much is True)
4. The Other Boleyn Girl - Philippa Gregory
5. The Confession of Brother Haluin - Ellis Peters (my officemate got this for me)

Plus a couple, no make it a lot of paperbacks I got from the laundry room being pushed aside because either I don't know the author or because I have other interesting books in my desk and yes, I still have 2 Ken Follett books at the shelf and 2 Steel's that I kept on postponing to read.

On the other hand, I read (marathon reading) all the Shopaholic Series all in the month of March. I just can't seem to put one book down even if it means sleeping after midnight.
It's very entertaining and I like how Ms. Kinsella weaved the story line. I know others might not agree but that's my opinion anyway.

So, maybe, just maybe, I will skip the above books and read "Twilight". And the one loonie question is, what if I like it? Would that mean I will read the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Meyer's books and postponed the above?

Or maybe, I will finish the book I am reading now and then worry about what to read next later. Or maybe, I will start "The Alchemist" and proceed to read the other available books in the order of when they were acquired. Problem is, I am going to Cole's tomorrow and if that Meyer book is still on sale, chances are I might get it. I still have my book allowance for April waiting to be spent. Oh, I don't have one actually, the allowance I mean. Just wishful thinking.

Honestly, decision like this always makes me want to grab a lindt chocolate and ponder on the matter. I don't have a lindt right now but maybe the curly tops will do.

Come to think of it, a new John Grisham's book is out now but in hard bound - I should wait until the paperback will be available or wait until Goodwill will have one of its 50% sale. Goodwill? It is where I got most of my books. Two birds with one stone - I have my book collection and I donate to charity as well.

I have to stop hoarding books. I should read what I have and when I run out of books to read, that is when I go and get some.

Well, I will try and do just that.

Oh, I just can't decide!!!!!

The Day I Got Sick

2009-04-04T20:22:00.003-04:00

Well not really very sick but sick enough to craved for two of my all-time comfort foods - Lechon (roasted pig) and pancit canton. For some, being sick means ceasing the ability to crave foods but because I am different - like every person is different - I think the other way.

Hubby thinks I am not physically sick - just feeling homesick again because Holy Week is next week and I am punishing myself by pretending that there is nothing to look forward to during the last week of lent and I mean, how lent is being celebrated in the Philippines. The mere mention of lechon and pancit canton (especially the one from Peking Restaurant-Ozamiz, which my brother said is no longer in business when I called long-distance this morning...ok, I am out of the topic again..merci) makes hubby think that I am just yearning to go - home -.

Anyway, I was really sick. Who wouldn't? Gab was sick for two days with cough, colds and high fever aggravated by an infected nasal passage. That means, I have to sleep with him in their bedroom with a night-light on (I can't sleep with any lights on) and the constant mom-i-need-to-drink-water or mom-i-can't-breathe. Add to that, I am still required to wake up @ 4:30 AM to wake up hubby (yes, I am a human alarm clock because he doesn't trust the alarm clock at all) then tried to go back to sleep which is next to impossible and just when I think I dozed off - my 6:30 AM alarm went off.

That was for 3 straight nights and by early Friday morning, my throat hurts -like crazy so I grabbed the last piece of cepacol from my bag with eyes still closed and managed to gulped about 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. No effect at all. I chewed ginger just like what old wives have been telling us before. As if it is not enough for my battered head and throat, rain starts pouring as I looked out of the window @ 7:50 AM. No way the boys and I are going to walk in the rain so I called a taxi that took us to the boy's school and since I remember it was Friday, I stayed for 15 minutes for my volunteer reading and decided to walk all the way to work, which at that time is reasonable enough because I have my trusted umbrella with me and the walk is only 15 minutes. I don't mind the walk. I mean, I am tuned in to CHFI and what can be more inspiring than walking with music in my ears and the drops of rain in my umbrella. I forgot about the wind. The wind that kept on flipping my umbrella. But because I am born with an optimistic mind, I just laughed at myself everytime the umbrella flips. Believe me, that decision wasn't the best one at all.

Because I got wet. As in my pants are wet. Knee down. The only thing good about it is that the temperature is 10 degrees so it wasn't really that cold outside. And I think it was a Madonna song being played while all these happened.

I arrived at the office so wet at the feet. My light-coloured denims looked like dark-coloured denims which nobody noticed until I blabbered the whole episode.

I did my whole day work with wet pants on (well, it dries around noon anyway). Mid-afternoon, the first headache attack happened. I took an aspirin and longed for an Advil.

To make a long story short, I made it through the work day with a throbbing head. On my hundredth sneeze, I turned my computer off and called it a day.

I monopolized the conversation during dinner time just as I was feeling that my temperature is rising. That was when the lechon and pancit canton became a topic and at the same time hubby accused me of being plain homesick (I can hear him do his little har-har laugh at the back of my head). And for the first time, I asked hubs to load the dishes in the dishwasher as I head straight to the bedroom. Ok, I can tell my brain not to get sick (this is actually Nat's idea) and I have to because the boys are going to a birthday party on Saturday. I mean, we are going to a birthday party on Saturday. Yet, the smell of pancit canton wrapped in banana leaves wouldn't leave my senses. It seems to be pulling me to a place where I used to be. Ok, I was being incoherent at that time as well. Hubs keeps on asking me if I am ok. Gave me advil. Pulled up the comforter as I was chilling, literally chilling. Then I dozed off....

8:30 PM, I woke up all of a sudden remembering that I still have to confirm with my friend that we are meeting at their place the following day @ 11:30 AM. Then I have to call another friend to confirm that everything has been set up.

Then I dozed off again. I remember the boys calling and telling me about saying their evening prayers. Hubs did it for me. Then I can't remember anything at all except that my whole body seemed to weighed like about 500 lbs and I can't move but I can hear voices. I am sick indeed.

I woke up a little earlier to grabbed another advil. The boys burst into our room demanding breakfast. Hubs did the whole shebang - bacon and eggs - while I had my cup of instant coffee. Head still reeling but no more chills. Thanks goodness.

Then an epiphany hit me. I have to call home. I mean, I called the 'rents in Ozamiz. Mom was not in but I talked to my Dad and he asked why I haven't called for a long time. Huh? I didn't? I mean, I did call but I haven't talked to him for about two months because everytime I did, he was not at home. I talked to my brother and my SIL as well. Total talk time - almost 2 hours. This time I didn't ask who died. I omitted the obituary section during the entire conversation. I am just so proud of my little brother for being promoted to Director of Alumni Affairs at the University he is working (he's been with the school since Grade one and that was like 1981 and got two degrees from the same school then decided to teach at the same school - if it is not loyalty, I don't know what it is). Good job, Bro!!!

Believe it or not, I felt so good after that phone call from home. I mean, I learned that Peking is no longer in operation and King is no longer the best lechon place but there is another one called Numer's. That two airlines are already flying the Ozamiz-Cebu-Ozamiz route and should we decide to visit, I can skip the overnight boat trip and take the 40 minutes plane ride instead. I just wished my mom was there too but I can call again next week. Mom should have more news or updates to tell me.

Then the next best thing about today is the lechon that we have at the party. I mean, not the oven-baked lechon but the real thing. The lechon cooked the Filipino way - charcoal and all.

Yes I was sick indeed but I am better now, thanks to the phone call and probably the lechon. No pancit canton but hey, I cannot always have the best of both worlds, can I?

Baby Stephanie - Happy 1st Birthday..With much love from one of your many Titas.

An Encounter at the Laundry Room

2009-03-29T11:36:00.007-04:00

There are so many inconsiderate people and there is one classic case for me. Ok, take for example this morning. I was at the laundry room doing my fair share of weekend laundry. There were about 3 people before me so I queu my hamper at the end of the line. Luckily 4 washers read 2 or 3 minutes left so I lingered in the laundry room, read the postings (who knows maybe one of the tenants is selling a bookcase as I badly need one ASAP) and watched the rain drops from the glass window. Anyway, five minutes later, I am loading the 1st of my 3 loads into the empty washer and wishing that 2 will get emptied but lucky streak ends when 2 of the washers still have 21 minutes left so I decided to head back to the apartment and do something worthwhile than staring at the muted TV and listening to the machines whirling sounds. 30 minutes later I went back to the laundry room waiting for a dryer. With luck back on my side, one of the dryers read 4 minutes left so I decided to wait again and fed my boredom by cleaning my nails. 4 minutes later and this lady (who by the way is slow-motioning everything) decided to, of all things, fold her laundry one at a time to my great annoyance. It took her 6 minutes to fold all the freaking (pardon the word) downy-smelling laundry while I stood beside her ready to give her my unsolicited words but I bit my tongue and while I was surveying the room, caught the eye of another lady who was probably thinking the same thing and I let out a suppressed giggle. This inconsiderate person doesn't know that every minute in Canada counts and folding her laundry leisurely took 6 minutes of my precious time which I could have spend doing, er...whatever but there is, for sure, something better to do with my 6 minutes than staring murderously at a lady standing in front of a dryer folding her clothes (ok...my words are so repetitive now).

Honestly, the lady could have just put all those clothes in her hamper and let me do my thing but she's like - who-cares-if-you-have-to-stand-there-while-I-fold-my-fresh-dried-laundry kind of sneer. I could have strangle her or push her inside the dryer (just like when Gretel pushed that old witch in the stove) but because it is lent, I the one I pushed away from my head is the "thought".

"It's your's now, honey" was all she said as she move her basket away from the dryer and i'm kind of like "yeah right".

I guess it is time to find another condo with an ensuite laundry room but as of this time, I guess all I have to do is to go back to the laundry room again and here's hoping that 2 dryers will be empty now. And I hope that inconsiderate lady is doing something else than folding a fresh batch of dry clothes right in front of the dryer.

And so this is how I start my Sunday.

A Royal Tru Orange Encounter

2009-03-07T15:39:00.008-05:00

I am supposed to do some little shopping for the boys today but the weather isn't cooperating so instead of going to the mall after I picked my contacts and lunch, we all went home and enjoy Filipino foods I bought from Kusina in the comforts of our "kusina" (dining room) instead of the Harvey's burgers that I promised them since Friday. I guess the boys didn't mind as they devoured the barbeque with gusto.

It is usually a treat when I go to a Filipino store. One favorite is near our old apartment at Confederation and Dundas. I picked a couple bags of piattos, a honeyed banana chips, some century tuna cans, the still favorite curly tops in bag instead of box, chicharon, pandesal, Del Monte fruit cocktail, kaong, black salted beans (for the humba), Dole pineapple juice.....then I saw it, Royal Tru Orange in cans. How can I forget my favorite childhood drink Royal. I moved my cart to the cooler section and grabbed about 5 cans. I was beaming like crazy. I could have pick a Selecta ube ice cream but the price stopped me. I love ube but the price is well.....kind of expensive and I now have an acquired taste for PC cherry chocolate so I passed by the ice cream aisle without my usual sigh and the thought of I should have didn't cross my mind.

Ok...ok...I am a sucker for anything related to my childhood memory so RTO being one of them flooded my mind with the memories of family back home. This could have been a good ad material in TV. Believe me, there are flashes and light bulbs in my head right now but heck, here am I writing this piece with my precious first RTO half-empty can in front of me with the yum-my banana chips. Dream come true.

I know, they sell Royal in every Filipino store here in Canada but this morning's encounter merit an Oscar for best....whatever....

And I am just loving it. The rain, the smell of rain - I can actually smell it, the mild temperature, nowhere to be seen white snow from outside the window, barbeque on a stick, crispy pata, dried-salted fish, the banana chips and RTO. They seemed to compliment the weather while we stay lazy in the apartment today.

How I wish I can have a pack of Didang's mazareal right now and that would definitely end my craving.

Well, I still have the curly top for late afternoon sweet treat.

Family Day Holiday

2009-02-16T11:01:00.002-05:00

What do you do with an extra day-off and when the day off is called Family Day Holiday?

The answer is obvious, do family stuff together like doing the laundry. Well, we didn't plan it that way but the laundromat in the condo just switched to using smart laundry cards instead of the old-school coin-operated laundry machines - much to my delight because that means I will stop begging for loonies and quarters - go figure. I used the new system last week but I need to show Parin how to do it and because we can't leave 7 and 6 year old rowdy boys in the apartment all by themselves, we have to dragged them to the lobby with us and I literally demonstrated the art of loading enough money to the smart card and the how-to's for the new laundry machine to my king and two princes. And what do they say about a family doing laundry together??????

Then I talked on the phone with CIL for about an hour while doing the dishes manually, then dusting the never-going-anywhere dusts, kicking some stuff around the floor, tried on the new stationery bike (old actually but new to us because we inherited it yesterday from a kind soul) and checking the storage room to see if anything is out of place that needs to be put in place, which, I believe constitutes the whole storage room area and so I mentally made a note to do it after I fold the laundry. The list keeps on going in my mind and when I put off the phone after saying thanks to the invitation of going to downtown Toronto, I was practically tired. Yes, just by thinking of what to do and when. I could have done a lot of chores last Sunday but we opted to drive around the city looking for a karate school for the boys, checking the community centre for that swimming lesson of which Nat said he wants to start n-o-w. C'mon, the kids are very demanding these days which reminds me that I need to ask my mom if I am as inquisitive and demanding when I was 7. Of course, the tour was not complete without going to Dominos Pizza for that cheeze and deluxe pizza orders (plug..plug..) and a quick look at the lake, actually we did walk for about 5 minutes then decided to run back to the car because honestly, it is still winter and chilly but not bone chilly anymore.

So today, the chores punished me and I intend to do all these before noon or before the boys will chant "we-want-to-go-out" again.

So I will end this post now as I run back to my chores.

Finding “Me Time”

2009-01-31T12:59:00.004-05:00

I learned to juggle my activities as early as grade school when I decided to take that jazz dance lesson every Saturday morning @ 9 while anticipating a whole new world of outdoor games with the neighborhood kids after dance school and doing house errands in between. It amazes me until now how I was able to do all those extra curricular activities in school. I was never the type of kid who stays put for 5 minutes. I need to have something to do before boredom strikes and send signal to my brain that it is time to re-arrange or interior decorate the whole living room much to my mom’s delight (or chagrin?) The only time I stay put is when I am reading. I love to read just about anything. From old newspapers used to wrap purchases from the local sari-sari store and to whatever there is to read. I remember when the old school where mom used to teach merged with another school and they got rid some tons of books from the old library, I was at the happiest level of what I call my happiest moment in my life at that time.

So the point is I have all the “me time” I could ever asked for. Growing up, I always find the time to do some little projects (most of which left unfinished) from writing a script for a school play or starting a manuscript of what is supposed to be a short story to compiling favorite poems or the thought of writing a compilation of poems (wonder where those manuscripts are now). I read all the books I could grab, watched the “it” movies, ate at the “it” restaurants, one time even maxing out my credit cards because I found shopping and dining with friends as outlets when I feel bored, the never-ending post graduate school attendance, those trips and outing with friends and those were fun “me times”. I had all the time waiting ahead of me to do something worth looking into in the days to come. But you know what the say about the youth wasted on the young (or is it the other way around) – I was busy doing one thing on top of the other, trying to hurry up the time because I can’t wait to grow up and do grown up things. I even forgot about dreaming what I want to be when I grow up. I never stopped to look around me, to nurture the time when I don’t think of anything else except me.

Then I grow up, saddled with the responsibilities of parenthood and the same time balancing work and family life, I lost track of “me time”. Believe it or not, it was only a few days ago that I realized I haven’t even done something for myself for a while. I do things because I have to, for the boys, for Parin, for work. For a while, there has never been an I-buy-this-because-I-like-it or I-will-take-a-nap-because-I-have-nothing-else-to-do or I-do-nothing-because-I-don’t-feel-like-doing-anything. When I buy something, it is because I need it, necessity precedes the want now. I took a nap because I am not feeling well. But never did I do nothing because I just feel lazy doing something.

Then I realized that time is passing by me so quickly. Wasn’t it was just December, January? Now it is February. What have I done other than parenting, being a wife and being an employee with a 9 to 5 job? With all these activities I only got 6 hours of sleep to re-charge myself for the next day. The weekends are family days and the weekdays for work. From the time I wake up at 4:30 until lights-off at 10:30 Monday to Friday, there is never a chance to do something for myself. For most married-with-kids woman, this is probably a non-issue but why I am making this as one is beyond me. I guess I just want sometime for myself. The “me time” that I have neglected when I still had the chance to explore a lot of things and now that I am squeezed with and running against time, I crave for it. Or maybe I guess I am just being too childish and selfish after all.

Or maybe, just maybe, I will take a day off from work while the kids are in school and claim it my “free day” and just as soon as I drop them to school, I will explore the area surrounding the apartment, walk Aquitaine Lake trail twice and back, sit in the park by the lake with a good book to read, have lunch with myself and head home just before hubby arrives from work. Maybe, well, just maybe I will do that. After all I owe this to myself and what better time to do this but one day in spring.

I know, it has been 5 years since we immigrated but I still feel bouts of homesickness and the winter season with all the white pathetic and depressing scenery makes me think about the beautiful tropical island called Cebu.

Life is Strange

2009-01-16T18:03:00.003-05:00

The weather temperature chill my bones. It must have been -20 and I am glad I don't have to walk at all. Not for this week anyway. Next week would be a different story though but I don't dwell of what might come for now. I live with it one day at a time. Sometimes I attempt to peek into the future by worrying about what might come but I stop the thought before it gets too complex to comprehend.

It is winter and we're in deep freeze. I can't wait for spring to come.

Often, I've been asked why we came to Canada and leaving a tropical country that is the Philippines which now I can say is a paradise on earth (no matter what everyone says or no matter how it is being run by the government). Sometimes, I look at the postcard I taped on my cubie wall and asked myself the same question.

There are many reasons, probably something I can enumerate in a future post but which I can't even start at right now.

Yet, in more ways than one, I have come to appreciate and love my adopted country. I have found new friends whom I can share stories from the past, relish the today and wish for a comfortable future. I have come to love the many and varied traditions brought about by different cultures. I have embraced the pressures and stress that everyday life brings to my lap. I learn the value of patience and perseverance and the former being a virtue indeed. I am excited to explore the country because I am no longer a foreigner to this place and I will experience, sans the apprehensions, how it is to immerse into the culture with a new perspective in life.

Life is strange indeed but it brought me a lot of things to think about while I follow the snowed-in path as I journey towards a new season.

Blogging again

2008-12-20T22:58:00.002-05:00

I can't imagine it took me 2 weeks to do something about my computer. Two Sundays ago the monitor screen turned blue. I trouble-shot knowing that it happened twice before and the technical staff I spoke with the last time was so nice that he allowed me plenty of time to write down the instruction on what to do in case the same issue comes up again in the future and it did recur on Dec. 7th. I followed the instruction to the point but nothing seemed to come out of it. The blue screen was replaced by a black screen and I waved my white flag and called technical support who told me 5 minutes after I narrated the whole scenario that my hard drive went kaput and there's nothing we can do except for me to buy a replacement. I ordered the hard drive via phone and hoping that I would still be able to salvage or reconstruct or recapture my files once I installed the new hard drive which, the guy promised, will be sent via purolator and will be in my mailbox on Tuesday. I waited until Friday but no envelope came. I called technical support again and raise my issue only to be told that it was shipped but to my old address. Duh! Didn't I told the guy my new address? I did but I cannot prove it otherwise unless they have taped the conversation. Honestly, I was about to declare war and to tell the customer service that their service sucks with a capital S.

So I didn't have access online for a week and I started to panic. It's like losing a lifeline but I didn't do anything else other than telling the guy on the other line that I will re-order the following day. I sulked but did not do anything during the next few days. I was contemplating of getting a Mac but re-consider because I know it is very impractical at this time.

A day before I decided that I should just get that hard drive, I spoke with my friend N who knows something about computers and said he's going to take a look at it before I order the hard drive. He tinkered and probed and found out that my hard drive is still good but I need to upgrade my RAM. To make a very lengthy story short - I went to Tiger Direct, got me a 1GB DDR, plug it in and voila, my computer is as good as brand new.

So here I am at 11:14 in the evening tinkering the keyboard as I navigate myself to the amazing world called blogging.

About My Man

2008-10-30T20:13:00.004-04:00

I was blog-browsing and came across "Wifely Steps" blog and got interested with her entry about her man and leads me to post mine as well. So here goes:

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV: what is on the screen?
National Geographic.
2. You are out to eat: What kind of dressing does he put on his salad?
Nothing. He rarely eats salads. If he does, he probably will drown it with balsamic vinegar
3. What is the one food he doesn’t like?
Galunggong
4. You go out to the bar: what does he order?
Regular coke.. He doesn't drink beer or wine anymore. When I asked him why, he just said he consumed his lifetime supply of alcohol before 35.
5. Where did he go to high school? University of San Carlos - Boys High School
6. What size shoe does he wear? 13
7. If he were to collect anything, what would it be?
hunting knives, music CDs
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
chicken or tuna sandwich
9. What would the husband eat every day if he could?
Adobo, Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Supreme
10. What is his favorite cereal?
Kellogg's Frosted Flakes
11. What would he never wear?
light-coloured shirts
12. What is his favorite sports team?
Not a sports fan.
13. Who will he vote for?
Mc Cain
14. Who is his best friend?
Kai and that's me.
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Dip any fruits in salt and vinegar. He said it's not healthy and I know it but can't help it
16. How many states has he lived in?
He's stateless..He used to live in the Province of Cebu but now resides in the Province of Ontario
17. What is his heritage?
Filipino by all accounts
18. You bake him a cake for his birthday: what kind?
Banana Cake
19. Did he play sports in high school?
Yes. Volleyball
20. What could he spend hours doing?
Listening to music until he dozes of to lalalalaland..

SIL/BIL

2008-10-01T19:00:00.002-04:00

I miss them now. The 2 days that we spent together and the very uplifting/engaging talk and discussion I had with them until 3 AM last Monday seemed to carry me thru my sleepless day. They're both intelligent, smart, funny to a point and so just like me in more ways than one. We have so much fun during our downtown escapade, the Niagara outing and the Maid of the Mist adventure. The 2 days are too short and there's so many things to talk about, to learn about and to share with. I didn't get too many pictures this time but I captured all those memories in my heart.

I wish they will be back soon.

N and J (my SIL and new BIL) are both revelations to me.

The honeymooners are on their way now back to Cebu, ready to start a new life - together. For better or for worse.

I am counting the days until I see them again.

Homekeeping

2008-09-21T14:56:00.002-04:00

Let me borrow the term from Ms. Lucy Torre-Gomez. Homekeeping is what I have been neglecting lately. I took a day off on the 2nd Monday of September to sort out errands and initially to do some house work which I inted to really do during that day. I ended up doing nothing except clean the bathroom and the tub. I was exhausted after I came home from the bank and the mall buying presents for that weekend's birthday party and the baptism of our friend's 2nd child. Shopping for me was kind of therapeutic in the past but I don't enjoy that leisure now because as I think about it, shopping has become of more of a chore than leisure. With this, I came to conclude that so much have changed in my vocabularly in the span of 4 years.

Anyway, the simple things such as changing bedsheets, cleaning the bathtub, de-cluttering the storage room, doing the laundry, re-arranging the closets, dusting the furnitures, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen cabinets, moving furnitures, sewing, ironing a week worth of work and school clothes now requires me at least a couple of days to complete and I am trying to do these tasks in a marathon kind of way so I can resume to reading my newly bought books. But there seems to be more things to do than what is currently in my to-do list and if I put these things in my list the more I feel so tired by just looking at it. Yet I don't have a choice, the house works are completely divided between me and Parin and it seems that while he enjoy the cooking, sorting and taking the garbage, doing the grocery, cleaning the fridge and the oven, taking the boys out to the park, making sure that the indoor plants have enough water, and working with all the other stuff related to electrical and electronics which are my handicap, I feel that I am not doing my share of things, well what I mean is, completing my tasks in a timely fashion.

God bless the weekend but there's not a thing I can do rather than laundry and dusting and making sure the boys clean up after a hurricane-like mess that they always create in the house. The past 2 weekends were spent outside of the house going from one birthday party to another.

That is why I don't blog or read blogs or update the friendster and facebook account as regularly as I used to. My inbox is bursting with about 350 emails (well, some of them are spams anyways) that I still have to sort out, read and answer the emails that requires reading and answering. I am forever buried in homekeeping activities. With school back in full force comes nightly reading time and making sure that agendas are being checked regularly so I won't miss any of the teacher's note.

I still have 2 unscheduled days off which I plan to take and spend doing all the tasks in my to-do list in one day and the 2nd day I will allot for reading and watching the piles of DVD waiting to be watched.

Well at least I have already put the fall and winter jackets where it should belong - this time I am ahead by a month.

In all honestly, I am now feeling more appreciative of the house helpers we used to have in Pinas. I wonder where they are now???

I can't think of a title for this post

2008-08-29T23:23:00.005-04:00

Seriously, this summer is definitely the least activity-filled one. I can count with my fingers the few times we actually went out as a group and spend hard-earned money on theme parks, out-of-town trips or whatevercomestoourmind gigs.

I guess it has something to do with the crazy rainy summer we are experiencing this year or with the boys getting strep in a week's interval or just me being plain lazy planning for activities. Maybe I am just getting old.

It's almost September and before I even got the chance to spell the month, summer is over. That means by September 21st we will be ushering another season. No wonder one of the trees outside started to change the colour of its leaves. It makes me wonder that maybe nature had a sort of imbalance this year. Global warming? Man-made calamities? These subjects are too profound and I am no authority to discuss about environmental issues or whatsoever.

September means back to school and I am faced with a dilemma, bigger than I anticipated. Nat will be in grade school which means full day of classes M-F. The issue? What to put in his lunch bag. I tried to be smart enough by asking him to sit with me every Sunday and put together a menu for morning snacks, lunch and afternoon snacks (the latter hopefully won't be a problem as soon as the day care will confirm that afternoon snack will be provided with no extra-charge). I guess I will do a slide show presentation with him. This kid is 6 years old turning 30 so I better make sure that everything is fair with him. He thinks it is cool to bring rice for lunch. Wait till he sees what his classmates will be having for their lunch and for sure the next day rice will just be a part of his childhood history. Not that he will starve but because we eat rice in most of our meals, Nat is also eating the same. He even asked me if he can have his favorite veggie spring rolls for lunch. Thinking about it, I guess this 6 year old is more a veggie lover than I am. Well, except for eggplant and bitter melon (hello ampalaya), I cannot even distinguish cucumber from raddish. Yes, I am just joking...

Okay, i'm ranting and it is now 11:40 PM and there's nothing interesting to watch at the Pinoy Channel website. I was hoping a new episode of Kim Samsoon have already been downloaded by now but no, Episode 45 is still in limbo. Yes, I watch Regine's show regularly. I'm no fan but she's funny in a way. I can't watch drama after a stressful day in the office and documentaries are reserved for Sunday afternoon while I wait for my laundry to spin-dry itself. So Kim it is for me for now.

Labour Day Holiday on Monday equals long weekend.

There's a birthday party on Saturday @ 4 PM and i'm looking forward to a whole night of videoke marathon and two whole days of Sunday and Monday to get lazy.

Another Questionnaire

2008-08-27T23:37:00.003-04:00

Got this questionnaire from Ana and Mike.

1. What time did you get up today?
6:45 AM - thanks Goodness for a mid-week off
2. Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls but I hate to think about how the pearls are made to be.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Indiana Jones, just because Walter won the bet.
4. What is your favorite TV show?
Total Drama Island, harhar..this is what I watch with the boys M-F, 9:00-9:30. Lindsay got booted tonight.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Kelloggs frosted flakes
6. What is your middle name?
None, if my mom's maiden name doesn't count. My birth certificate says Jinky Mercado Difuntorum.
7. What food do you dislike?
Anything raw - yes, as in I don't eat sushi.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Andrea Ross
9. What kind of car do you drive?
I don't drive. Yet.
11. What characteristic do you despise?
Self-centeredness
12. Favorite item of clothing?
Shirt and jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Philippines? Oh well, Venice.
14. What color is your bathroom?
Off-white
15. - where's question # 15?
16. Where would you retire to? Cebu. This is my current state of mind talking, errrr... I mean, writing.
17. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
31st. I had a birthday party cum despedida because the month after we are to fly to Toronto.
18. Favorite sport to watch?
Swimming
20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
No one will. See, i'm posting this in my blog.
21. Person you expect to send it back first?
Same answer as # 20.
22. Favorite saying
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
23. When is your birthday?
December 1, 1972
24. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning person - I love sunrise
25. What is your shoe size?
7.5
26. Pets?
nope
28. What did you want to be when you were little?
To become a grown up and do things grown up does.
29. How are you today?
Generally ok
30. No # 3o question
31. What is your favorite flower?
Sunflower
32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
December 1 - my birthday
33. What is your full name?
Jinky Mercado Difuntorum Ouano
34. What are you listening to right now?
Wind Beneath My Wings
35. What was the last thing you ate?
Pizza and chicken wings
36. Do you wish on stars?
Not anymore. I don't see falling stars or stars for that matter. When I look up from our window, I see airplanes coming and going. Sometimes they do resemble a star's spark.
37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Orange
38. How is the weather right now?
windy and cold
39. Favorite soft drink?
Coke-regular
40. Favorite restaurant?
Cowrie Cove - Shangrila, Mactan
41. Hair color?
black
42. Siblings?
1 brother
43. Favorite day of the year?
January 1 - the day when I start making resolution and break them the next day I didn't bother having it this year.
44. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Paper dolls
46. Summer or winter?
Summer - I love outdoors on a warm sunny summer day
48. Hugs or kisses?
hugs - bear hug
49. Coffee or tea?
Coffee
50. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate
51. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Yes
53. What is under your bed?
Dust bunnies.
54. Who is your longest friend? Maritess Edmilao - I knew her from grade school and we occassionally keep in touch. She's in the Philippines.
55 . What did you do last night?
Reorganize the closet
56. What your friends calling you?
Kai
57. What are you afraid of?
Dark places, lizards
58. Salty or sweet?
Salty
59. How many keys on your key ring?
None
60. How many years at your current job?
Almost 3 years
61. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday
62. How many towns have you lived in?
5 - Ozamiz, Cebu City, Mandaue (in the Philippines); Markham and Mississauga (in Canada)
63. Do you make friends easily?
I don't warm up to people easily but because I am talkative by nature, I made so many acquaintances but keep a few number of good friends.
64. How many people will you send this to?
No one. I am posting this in my blog and anybody is welcome to copy and post or send.
65. How many will respond?
No one

Today is book shopping day

2008-08-27T23:25:00.003-04:00

Ka-ching..ka-ching..
Total bill $56.82
Indigo - Burlington

I bought about 5 books that are on sale except for one.
1. I am not Julia Roberts
2. The Last Lecture
3. Bedtime Stories for boys
4. The Kite Runner
5. The Appeal

The Kite Runner is the one that is not on sale. I tried to put it back twice on the shelf but end up getting it again when the cash register is about to scan the last book.

I also bought a journal and almost got one in papyrus but did a double-thought when the price didn't seem to connect with my debit card allowance for book purchases.

With starbucks at my back and the smell of fresh brewed coffee following me in every direction, I claimed my purchases and head to the nearest exit.

Walter got his G license. I didn't.

And so I splurge.

Civic Holiday, Saturday barbeque, rashes and ER

2008-08-06T23:22:00.002-04:00

I was so looking forward to spend a lazy long weekend. Go biking, splash pad, sausage in a bun @ Erindale Park, dvd browsing at the chinese video store, cleaning the storage (should have done this eons of days ago), and relax, relax and relax.

The only thing I have done is dvd browsing at the chinese video store on Saturday then went to N's house for barbeque with friends from Isla in the afternoon. That same night, Nat's fever came back (he got strep the week before). Few rashes appeared on Sunday so we took him to a walk-in clinic but come Monday, the rashes were all over his body, palm not spared. We took him to ER, stopped the amoxil and gave him Benadryl. Temperature spiked every now and then. It took us about 6 hours in the ER as we complete and wait for the chest xray and blood works analysis. The result - amoxil allergy manifesting only after the 7th day of medication. I took two days off from work. The rashers are still visible but we got a note from the doc that the rashes are not contagious and Nat should be allowed back to the day care.

He's been such a brave boy with the blood work thing, just an "ouch" for the 3 vial blood sample. He was wondering if the nurse will give him the blood back. I said no and proceeded to grill me with his what if and how for the next 2 hours while waiting for the results. He answered all the questions asked by the doctor without my prodding earning him 52 chaotic cards the next day.