emmathinksoutloud

on getting out

2012-01-04T13:17:00.000-05:00

I'm sipping tea as I write this, tea made for me by my husband...at nine in the morning on a weekday. This is a luxury I could have barely imagined a few months ago, but here it is. A few weeks ago, a major life decision came to fruition as Josh and I packed up our earthly goods, hitched one car to the other, and drove off, away from Georgia, away from the Army, and home to our beloved west coast. That day was a long time coming. Two years ago we made the decision to extend Josh's contract with the Army because he didn't feel right about getting out at that time. It meant two more years in Georgia, it meant two more deployments, but ultimately it was the right decision in so many ways.
Over the past few months, as his "separation date" drew closer, it felt more and more surreal that we were actually getting out. It felt like there was no way we could possibly actually leave. As we watched Josh's brothers in arms deploy yet again, it felt impossible that he would come home from work that day, like somehow he too would end up on the plane, perhaps even that he should end up on the plane. Getting out is a strange feeling. It's like dissecting yourself from a body for which you've been a living, aiding member, and suddenly having to relearn how to be your own independent organism. It's been almost three weeks, we've moved into our new apartment and it still feels like we're just on leave. It's a long way from feeling real yet. And then there's the guilt: we're leaving so many friends that have become family to us, friends who will continue to endure deployments while we reenter civilian life that, while it has its own set of difficulties, is admittedly a much easier existence; I've struggled with feeling that I'm abandoning people, as I'm sure Josh has, in a much deeper way. Even the fact that we're doing what we know is right for us doesn't lessen our feeling badly about others having to continue in a lifestyle that is just barely tenable.
The truth is, though, that I hope I never forget any of this, because then I would be just as bad as every other civilian who goes on with their daily life blissfully unaware of the families sacrificing so much. In time, I'm sure, I'll forget a little how hard it was for us, I'll forget how much it hurt and how long those nights alone were. I have to. I have to move on from what we're leaving behind so that I can start this new life with Josh, but I will never forget entirely, and I will always appreciate the gravity of the sacrifices made daily by our military and their families and do my best to communicate that to those ignorant of this reality.
It's such a weird life, and getting out of the army and starting over completely in a new city makes it even stranger. However, I'll never stop being grateful that we got the chance.

this insomnia...

2011-09-26T04:55:00.001-04:00

...is killing me! Every time I get back from a trip home to CA, I spend weeks three or four hours behind East Coast time. It's awful. Why? Well, for example, husband's alarm for work just went off, and I just got into bed about twenty minutes ago. Yeah. The worst part of it is that I just stay awake and worry about all that has to be done in the next few months, namely: grad school apps and packing for a huuuuuuuuge life transition. So, you know, not too much...ugh. Sleep! Come swiftly!

so much love

2011-08-16T00:42:00.003-04:00

Since Josh has been home we've fallen into this new routine at night. It used to be that he would fall asleep far sooner than I did, and I would either have to lie staring at the ceiling or go out in the living room, neither of which were attractive options. However, for whatever reason, I've just been staying in bed lately, either reading (yes, with the light on) or just browsing on the ole' laptop. Why we never did this before? I have no idea. I think I always felt badly, like I was distracting him from sleep or something, but then I realized that no matter what is going on, light on or off, he falls asleep in thirty seconds flat. Period. So unfair for insomniacs like myself.
Tonight I meant to finish up the fifth Harry Potter (my new guilty pleasure) but got caught up reading the past two years of this blog. Love it! Anyway, as I sit up, awake and alert, my very sweet husband is snoring so loudly next to me. And it's not just your standard snore. Oh no. He has a near symphonic range of snoring. He could make a record, or sell them to a sound effects company. He is a prolific snorer. Yet, even as I find myself only the slightest bit annoyed by this noisy intrusion into my late night quiet time, I can't help but feel my heart fill with so much love for this man. Seriously, it feels like my heart is a tall glass that I stuck under a tap that won't turn off. To have him home, to know that he is mine forever now...it's a gratefulness that won't wear off...ever.
Few people in my life understand what this feels like, understand the overwhelming nature of this gratitude, and the sorrow that accompanies it when you think of the so many that won't ever get to feel it. Even as my heart is filled with my own joy, I can't help but think of the other side of this coin. To anyone who hasn't been a part of the military family, it must seem strange to be so deeply affected by the deaths of people you never knew, but it is only too easy (after six deployments) to imagine myself in their places and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Honestly, I didn't even mean to write about this...but as I wrote what I had set out to write, I couldn't stop myself from feeling almost guilty for being this happy. I know that probably might sound silly, but it is something that I struggle with after having witnessed and experienced so much loss around me during the past three years. It's a tough pill to swallow...even with that tall, overflowing glass.
I'm reminded of something that was said by the speaker at this year's Ranger Ball. I'm paraphrasing here, but on the subject of honoring those we've lost in the battle, he said something like this:"When you get a moment to yourself, when you have a moment to feel the breeze, when you're holding your children in your arms, when you're dancing with the woman you love, when you're lying on your back in the grass watching the clouds go by, remember your fallen brothers and live that moment deeply for them. By living life to it's full measure, that is how to best honor those we have lost." Those words will stick with me for the rest of my life. I will continue to live with so much love, and gratitude, because to do anything less would be a dishonor to those who sacrificed themselves in protection of that privilege.

you know you're a nerd when...

2011-07-15T00:32:00.002-04:00

Husband and I were enjoying some after dinner coffee at Starbucks earlier this evening, and we were discussing how crazy the next five months are going to be---what with preparing to move back to California, getting out of the military, studying for the GRE, applying to grad schools, going to Alaska, and generally just sorting out our ENTIRE future---it's safe to say it's going to be a very busy time. As we were discussing these things, I thought of how different my life is now that I've finished my degree, "I think I'm a little depressed" I mused aloud while staring out the window. Then a terribly embarrassing thing happened. A horrible thought occurred to me and my eyes welled up with tears as I turned to Josh and exclaimed loudly, "Oh my gosh...I don't get to buy school supplies this fall!" There is something wrong with me...I actually said those words aloud...with tears in my eyes.
I'm pretty sure a barista heard me and snickered into her milk foamer.

Our Very Strange Cat

2011-07-12T00:40:00.001-04:00

Our cat is a truly strange animal...she has ecstatic episodes with the carpet. Why? Who knows...

YouTube Video

- posted from my iPhone

Homecoming Clams

2011-07-10T21:22:00.002-04:00

Well, the long-awaited-very-good-thing has happened! My husband finally arrived home from his sixth and final deployment a few days ago. We've just been relaxing together for the past few days, soaking in the lovely togetherness. Tonight, though, we were finally ready to actually cook dinner at home, one of our very favorite things to do together. We had both been craving mussels, so we moseyed over to the Fresh Market only to find they were sold out. There were, however, some very good-looking clams, and we decided to settle for those....we were not at all disappointed by them. So, I'll share with you one of my new favorite dishes, a recipe that evolved and became what I call "Homecoming Clams." Enjoy!

Homecoming Clams
(best enjoyed with jazz, white wine, and love)

Ingredients
24 (or whatever) Clams
1/2 cup Clamato (tomato/clam juice cocktail mix)
3/4 cup white wine
3 large garlic cloves, minced
1 can Del Monte Olive Oil and Garlic Diced Tomatoes
1 tblsp olive oil
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

Directions
First of all, a lot of people are pretty intimidated by cooking shellfish at home, I know I was the first time we decided to give it a try. The key to feeling comfortable is to make sure you clean the clams thoroughly. the rest is really quite simple. So, to start out scrub the clams one by one under running water with a stiff brush. Then place them in a combination of 16 cups of water and 1/3 cup salt and let them sit for 20 minutes. This allows the clams to release whatever sand and gunk they may be carrying around in themselves. Discard any clams that are already open or chipped (unless they close when you tap them). After the clams have soaked for 20 minutes, remove them (do not pour into strainer as this will allow sand to fall on top of them, defeating the purpose), rinse the container out and refill with the combination of 16 cups water and 1/3 cup salt and let them sit for another 15 minutes. After this second soak, remove the clams and scrub them again under running water.

Sometime during the second round of soaking would be a great time to gather your ingredients and get ready to start the cooking process. Mince the garlic, open the can of tomatoes, pour the wine and clamato, etc.

Ok, so to start off the cooking process, pour the olive oil into a large sauté pan and turn the heat to medium, sauté minced garlic until it is lightly golden (not burned!), turn heat to high and add the can of tomatoes, the white wine, clamato, and crushed red pepper flakes. When the ingredients have reached a boil, add the clams, making sure not to overcrowd (i.e. make sure they are not on top of each other, otherwise some may not open), cover and allow the clams to boil for another 4-7 minutes or until all clams have opened (discard any that do not). Carefully remove clams with slotted spoon, cover with foil to keep warm. Leave heat on high and allow the remain liquids to reduce (thicken slightly) for about seven minutes, stirring occasionally. Taste once or twice to test the broth, it should taste clammy and spicy and tomato-ey. If you prefer any extra seasoning, now would be the time to add it.

Once the broth is to your satisfaction, divide clams into dishes and pour or ladle the tomatoes and broth over the clams. Serve with toasted sourdough or french bread and white wine. Turn on the jazz, smile at the sweet love across from you and ENJOY!

If you have any questions, just leave them as a comment and I will try to answer them as best I can.

iPhone, iBlog

2011-07-07T18:30:00.001-04:00

Well, I finally broke down and got the white iPhone I have been craving forever...perhaps now I will blog more regularly? I hope so...I also got husband the black iPhone (because it's "manlier" according to him). He is pretty technology-challenged so it will be interesting to see how he adapts from his very old flip phone to the wonderful world of smart phones!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

getting by with grey's...

2011-07-03T04:28:00.000-04:00

I forgot how much I love this show, but right now I'm loving that I can watch all the past seasons on Netflix. Embarrassingly enough, it's helping me pass the time until a very good thing happens...a very good thing that I have been waiting for forever. However, it is also eating my soul a little bit. I have actually spent multiple days watching for more hours than I like to admit in a public forum, let's just say it's a lot. Whatever it takes to get by, ok!?! Geez stop asking...anyway, the problem with watching the show all at once instead of over the years is the trauma is condensed and I am now terrified of hospitals because a lot of people go in and don't come out, and everyone who hits their head has a brain tumor, and everyone who falls in love has something bad happen...well, that's how it happens on Grey's anyway, and that is my reality at the moment, or, rather my escape from reality...oooooh boy, I need this to be over!

shhhh! it's a surprise!

2011-07-01T13:56:00.003-04:00

When I was home in CA last month I bought several skeins of ~~very expensive~~ really nice and soft alpaca yarn to make husband a really manly and special scarf for our upcoming trip to Alaska. I'm trying to finish it before he gets home, but since I'm knitting it lengthwise, it seems as though it is taking forever...really I'm halfway done, it just feels like it is taking forever. It's pretty soft and the stitch I'm using makes it look more woven than knitted. Below is my inspiration photo. The yarn I used has a lot darker colors and turned out sort of self-striping, which I kinda dig...yes, dig.

I'll post again when I've finished...if I ever get there!

is it over yet?

2011-06-30T01:29:00.002-04:00

Seriously, I'm pretty much at my limit here. This waiting game is unbelievably overrated. And since I can't really talk about why I'm frustrated...there's this...

sdkfjhsdf sdfkjhsdfmnsdbfkje dsflwjehf,jdbfoisdhfnr lwekfhsldjf,sndbf sdfjhfuwhfwemr wkdfnlwifhwjdfn sdfjsdkjfhskdjfbsmdbfsd,mnfbskdufhkwej.s kjfbkwjdfbkdjbvsdjvbskdjbvsfhgkjfb.!*%!@^%*!%@*!&@%!*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post-College, I'm a writer...?

2011-06-28T17:45:00.003-04:00

Trying to look like we're not or we don't...

2011-04-18T03:25:00.000-04:00

   As evidenced by the above illustration, there was a lot that the '50s got wrong. However, as I was driving around the other day I started thinking about one thing that I think they may have gotten right. Let me explain...I've recently started wearing lipstick. I like it. It's fun and colorful and makes me feel like I am officially having fun when I am wearing it. It is decidedly makeup in a way that my normal chapstick is not. I don't wear it all the time, just when I feel like it. The problem is, though, when you wear lipstick it gets on whatever you are drinking---straws, wine glasses, etc. And then everyone knows you are wearing lipstick, which, of course they do because your lips are not naturally the color of tomatoes...but still, I started questioning my recent departure from nude lips, simply because it would produce tangible evidence that I was wearing honest-to-god makeup. And this made me think about how ridiculous it is for women these days. Maybe this is from my beach-girl, California upbringing, but I have a feeling that while lipstick may be an extreme example, other women do the same thing. We wear makeup but try to act like we're not wearing makeup. At least in the '50s a gal could rock some red lips at dinnertime and not get surprised looks from passerby's. So many makeup advertisements have some sort of tagline that has to do with giving you "that natural glow." Really? I'm fairly certain no one wakes up looking like they have iridescent, peach dew on their cheeks. I certainly don't. For all of you who may be wondering: I buy my peach dew at Target on aisle 14.
   Here's what else I hate: wearing underwear while trying to look like you're not wearing underwear...ALL THE TIME. Seriously? The lengths we women go to to look as though we are magically not wearing underwear when we are...why is it that we must do this? Why is it we must forego the right of comfortable underclothes in order to avoid any evidence that we are, in fact, doing the sanitary thing and wearing underwear?
   Also, nipples. This is one of my major pet peeves about American society. Women have nipples, and yet we must do everything to avoid that fact becoming readily apparent on a chilly day. I happen to like my nipples. Yes, I just said that on the internet. I like them. They are a part of my body and I have stopped trying to hide them, mainly because padded bras are uncomfortable, but also because I think it's ridiculous that this part of the female anatomy is so clandestine. I mean, obviously I'm not championing full on nip slippage, but breasts have certain shape to them and nipples have a mind of their own and I don't see why someone should have to feel they ought to tell me, in public, that I might need to put on a sweater because..."well, y'know (insert pointed look towards my chest)." The shapes of women's' bodies in general are sensual, and while I do believe women should not look like trashy call-girls all the time (yes, there is a time and a place), I think that there is something beautiful about a woman's body that cannot be undone by any amount or type of clothing (for the most part). On this note, I also hate those "dress for your body type" articles in magazines...how to dress so that women who have hips look like they don't have hips, etc. I guess my point is...I'm suddenly frustrated with all the things that women do or are expected to do that are also things we pretend to not do or to not have. I have hips and nipples, I wear lipstick sometimes...it's all true, and you heard it here first.

it's getting ridiculous

2011-03-30T08:16:00.001-04:00

Seriously, Calypso has gone off the rails. She is always right up on me. No personal space awareness. Ugh.

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Life is Funny

2010-12-05T02:13:00.001-05:00

Things change so much, so very much...and yet, I never get used to it. I still surprise myself in the mirror, longer hair, thin creases forming slowly, from both joy and pain. It wears on you, life I mean, and we wear it on our bodies. I feel so different lately, I feel like I'm about to get somewhere that I've been traveling to for a very long time. Where? If I knew I would tell you. I suppose the one thing that never changes is that we're always on our way, even after we arrive, other versions of ourselves start traveling. The girl I used to be arrived home, and the woman that I am started her journey. Sometimes I wish I knew the address of my old self, I'd like to sit down and have some tea with her. Sometimes I think she knew more than I gave her credit for. I don't even know why I'm thinking of this tonight, maybe I'm just relishing the melancholy of life. That wherever you go, you still miss the places you used to be. I have so much of what that girl desired. But...I miss the ache sometimes. I miss the heady sense of hope. Where does that go after you get what you're hoping for? There's something broken in all of us, I guess, the lookback syndrome. Don't get me wrong. I'm so happy to be on this journey, so happy to have my traveling companion, too. I guess I just wish I could have brought her along, the girl I used to be.

oh, p.s.

2010-11-30T12:13:00.000-05:00

I just applied for graduation...from college. Yeah. That feels good.

babies

2010-11-30T11:47:00.001-05:00

So I've been thinking about this a lot lately, having babies I mean. It seems like absolutely everyone around me right now is either pregnant or has just had a baby, and I mean everyone. I know at least twelve pregnant people, and I'm fairly certain I'm forgetting some people. I think we have officially gotten to "that" stage. Of course this means that the inevitable question has been repeatedly asked lately, "So when's it your turn, Emma?" My turn? Like somehow because everyone around me is pregnant I should be too. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is sort of weird and everything has changed, but I feel absolutely nothing but happiness for all my new mommy and preggo friends. Everyone keeps expecting me to catch "baby fever" but it's just not going to happen right now. My husband is the one with baby fever. He's freaked out by the fact that I don't have baby fever. I am the one with ovaries and the biological clock, right? Right, but I just don't feel ready, and that's OK. He knows we'll have babies eventually and he is totally on board with waiting because deep down he knows it's not the right time for him either. He's happy just as long as he knows that they are in the cards. However, all this baby talk did get me thinking about why I don't want babies right now.

In some ways it is very odd and uncharacteristic, which seems to be the reason it freaks husband out. I have ALWAYS wanted kids, I love to mother people, I always thought I wanted to start a family young...but then...I got married, I dug in deep to school, I saw that I really can go as far in my education as I want to and I realized that there's nothing wrong with wanting to wait. Generations of women before me fought for our right to have children when we were ready, after we had set goals and met them. I refuse to let people make me feel bad for wanting things. I want to travel, I want to go to grad school, I want a few more years with my husband, just us two. It doesn't mean that I don't want kids, I do. But holy goodness, I am twenty-four years old! I think I deserve a few more years to enjoy being young and free, being able to pick up and go on a weekend trip without really planning for it, being able to eat dinner at 10 p.m. and sleep in till 10 a.m. on weekends. I so look forward to being a parent and raising children with the man that I love, but I have no illusions about parenthood. It's hard. And it doesn't ever stop being hard. It's a fierce, terrible love, uncontrollable longing for things that you have no real control over. Truth be told, I'm a bit terrified of having children because I know how deeply and truly I will love them. I know that love is going to absolutely and completely alter forever the landscape of my life. I know it will be an incredibly fulfilling experience, but I have no doubt that it will bring hardships as well. After watching my parents go through things with my siblings, seeing how completely heartrending parenthood can be, even into your children's adulthood, I figure I'm going to give myself a few more years of just "being." Besides, I know that when I really am ready something will just go "click" inside my heart, just like it did when I felt ready to marry Josh. It was almost an audible sound, my heart opening to the things life had in store. Until then, no babies for me. I am perfectly content to shower my love and affection on all the precious little ones being born all around me.

Catch Up

2010-11-09T13:02:00.001-05:00

It's been kind of a crazy couple of weeks. i feel sad because I was doing so well, blogging almost every day...for like...a whole week! However, I'm going to make up for it today with a monster post of epic largeness.

First of all, this:

YES! THE RED CUPS! This is officially one of my favorite things. However, I'm not thrilled that they changed the design. I don't know, it's just not that classic Starbucks red cup feel. Also, I wish they would give people like me a heads up as to when exactly these festive vessels will arrive, that way I can run around saying, "the REDCUPS are coming, the REDCUPS are coming!" Although, perhaps they have saved me from yet another display of dorkiness by withholding this information. Yes, I think that may be the case.

Second of all, our cat. Her name is Calypso, she is ridiculous. We can't figure out if she thinks she's a small human or that we're large cats. At any rate, she thinks she's one of us. For example, the other day we're sitting in the living room watching a movie, I glanced over and saw that Calypso is sitting there watching the movie, with her paw on Josh's arm. She stayed like that for like an hour, with her paw on his arm, who does she think she is???

She is pretty dang cute though. I know, I know, I've become one of THOSE people. I take pictures of my pet and post them on my blog. But c'mon, who doesn't love a kitty sleeping on yarn. Nobody!

OK, last one. She is ridiculous, and she thinks she owns my husband. Beeyatch.

Our Anniversary:
It's funny, sometimes your anniversary looks like this:

You get to dress up in a cocktail dress, go out for an evening of champagne, delicious food and jazz in Atlanta, receive diamonds, etc.
Other times, though, your anniversary is on a Monday, your husband doesn't get home from work until 4 a.m. that morning, and you have to be at school and then work the entire day. That's when your anniversary looks like this:

We had pasta at a cute little place in town and then went home and went to sleep because we both had work in the morning. Hello, year two! We actually sort of celebrated earlier in the month when we went up to Atlanta for the Giants game, that was Josh's anniversary present from me, and that same day we picked up my anniversary present, a coffee table from Pottery Barn. Josh was gone the whole weekend before our anniversary and our actual anniversary day was too busy with normal life stuff to do anything really anniversary-ish. Oh well, that's life I guess. I'm just happy to be married to such a wonderful, sweet guy!


Josh put this in my car on our anniversary at 4 a.m. when he got home from work, poor sweetie.

In other news, I have been redonkulously busy with school lately. Here's a glimpse into what that looks like.

This is what happens when you marry a Literature major.

Also, I have located my dream home right here in Columbus, GA. I'm absolutely in love with this house. It's run-down, mysterious and I want it!

Yes, please.

Homesick

2010-10-27T23:57:00.002-04:00

This officially sucks. I just watched Game 1 of the World Series...alone...on my couch...with my cat...thousands of miles away from home. There really isn't much else that can make me more homesick than that. Why, Georgia, why?

Year 2

2010-10-25T23:50:00.002-04:00


October 25, 2008

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" James 1:17

Technology Challenged

2010-10-25T23:50:00.000-04:00

Emma: Have you read my blog lately?

Husband: I don't read the internet.

Emma: Oh, that's right...

This girl...

2010-10-24T17:50:00.000-04:00

is in Georgia eating

by herself.

But she wishes she were in California, at

with this girl

drinking

and eating

After which we would watch this,

and look like this

Yes, please.

Other possible activities of magical teleportation trip home:

How to eat bulls...or humans...also, discussion of superpowers

2010-10-24T17:23:00.002-04:00

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Mixed Messages

2010-10-24T16:29:00.001-04:00

Something has been bothering me lately and I've been wanting to sit down and think it out with words. Let me say first, I really do like and respect all of my professors quite a lot. However, having said that, they are human and they do contradict themselves, both in word and deed, at times. Let me start with this: I am a Literature major. Anyone who has ever studied literature knows how much that subject encompasses. We often end up discussing things like history, politics, social systems, religious ideologies, etc. Most of the time professors are pretty good at remaining objective about these subjects, they usually don't reveal their personal beliefs to their students. However, sometimes you can easily see how they really feel about something.
Recently in one of my classes, we were discussing the critical lens of Marxism, which basically means a way of looking at a certain piece of literature through the eyes of Marxism. While discussing this point of view, we discussed its opposite, Capitalism. The professor kept saying negative things about Capitalism, about how it is a myth in this country that if you work hard and innovate you can and will succeed. She said words like "obvious" "apparent" "it's clear", making the class fully aware of her feelings about Capitalism. All the while, at least five carats of diamonds sparkled distractingly on her finger. And it just seemed...odd. I wanted to ask her what exactly she would prefer. I know that sometimes Capitalism can sometimes seem unfair, a sort of survival-of-the-fittest and meanest kind of system and recently we've seen it crumble in on itself, like on wicked Wall Street. But that's not everybody. There are plenty of people that I know who really have come from nothing, worked really hard, been diligent with their money, and made a wonderful life for themselves, my parents, for example. The real problem with Capitalism is greed, of course. Some people aren't satisfied with just "wonderful" and they want to make themselves more money than they could ever possibly spend. It was just so frustrating to me to see another person criticizing this system when they are so obviously a participant in it.
Marx claimed that the problem with Capitalism was that there was always an economic minority, the bourgeoisie, and an economic majority, the proletariat, and the bourgeoisie was always dominating and exploiting the proletariat. I can see much truth in this, however, I don't really see how it is ever any different in any other social system. There are, of course, idealized systems that we all long for, but those just aren't realistic for humanity. There will always be the innovators, who invent ways to be more prosperous, and there will always be those that work harder than everyone else and see the gain from it, as well as those who don't work at all. And, yes, there are people that get lost in the shuffle of it all, but that would happen in any system. I'm not saying that there aren't many problems with the system of Capitalism, I know there are, but that's not my point. It just drives me crazy that it's almost always people from the bourgeoisie that are criticizing Capitalism. They criticize it from the comfort of their wealth. They criticize it with carats of diamonds glittering on their fingers*. It's easy for them to believe it could be different, but just ask them to give up enough of their wealth so that we would all be equal and see how they feel then.
The truth is, I believe that hard work should be rewarded. If one person has the wherewithal to go out and get an education, get a job, innovate within his or her field, and make themselves a wonderful life, MORE POWER TO THEM. It's the greedy, crappy people of the world that ruin it for everybody else. The people who take and take and take without giving back, those are the people that mess it up for everyone. There's nothing wrong with "having" when you have truly worked and been diligent for those things and done so with integrity. So as of now, this system still seems better to me than Communism or Socialism or anything else. When someone comes up with another system that actually works, and doesn't benefit lazy freeloaders or one wealthy dictator, I will be the first to believe in it. Just don't tell me that you believe Capitalism is wrong when everything about you speaks to how much it has benefited you.

*I have nothing against large diamond rings, FYI. Just people who wear them and then say they believe Capitalism is wrong.

On Our Way!

2010-10-24T00:19:00.000-04:00

Yes.

So stoked that my boys won and we are finally on our way to the Series after eight long years! Not so stoked that they had to deal with Philly booing them and being crappy. It was pretty lame that they didn't get much of a celebration, not to the scale that the Texas Rangers got anyway. Oh well, Philly can whine all they want, it's OUR turn! I think Cody Ross was a great choice for MVP, he definitely was a key player through the entire NL Series. Of course, near and dear to my heart is Buster Posey, hopefully they give him the Rookie of the Year. But honestly, all the boys did so well, Sandovall, Wilson, Lincecum, Torres, Lopez, Uribe, Burrell, Huff, everyone. They played some damn good baseball and I am so proud. What really sucks is being in Georgia while this is happening. Especially Columbus, GA. Nobody gives a crap about baseball here! It's all football all the time. God forbid you ask for the channel to be changed to a baseball game, even if it is a championship game! They don't care. I wish more than anything we could be home watching all of this happen, if nothing else just so that we won't be the lone people cheering for a baseball game at a bar. Hopefully people will wise up once the World Series starts, they gotta respect at least that, right? Probably not. Whatever, Georgia. I get it. Football. Ok. I still don't care.
These are going to be some exciting weeks! This is going to be one crazy matchup. A team that can come out of the shadows like that and beat the Yankees are not to be underestimated. The Rangers play good baseball, but I really do think this is our year. GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Survived!

2010-10-23T00:32:00.003-04:00

Nasty Troll Tooth That Lived Way in the Back of my Mouth

Well, I survived my first oral surgery, barely. Look at that nasty bugger! The thing is huge! It probably has the diameter of one of my fingers, seriously, it does! I was absolutely terrified and it didn't help that the doctor/dentist was acting all nonchalant, I mean, he's hilarious, but I didn't feel like laughing. After they had numbed me up they start poking my tooth really hard and making sure I was properly numbed, I kept shutting my eyes every time they went near my face, which apparently I wasn't supposed to do. Every time he asked me a question all I could do was nod with eyes that must have looked like dinner plates because he told me he was just going to talk to me and treat me as though I were a twelve year old. That was totally fine with me because I felt like I was twelve, my whole body was shaking as he started sticking cold metal stuff in my mouth and I could feel all this pressure and twisting, and then the doctor was saying stuff like, "man, the tooth has grown into her bone, look how much bone there is. bone. bone. let's shatter her jawbone." Ok, so he didn't actually say that, but that's what I heard. And then, all of a sudden, it was over. It was bewilderingly fast. The doctor laughed at me, straight up laughed at me because I was so freaked out and then totally confused that it was already over. Then, when I asked for my tooth, he said, "Well I guess you really are a twelve year old." Whatever, I just wanted to see the piece of crap that has been causing so much pain for so long. But, I kept it, because it was gross and I wanted it for reasons that even I can't fathom.
So it's all over for now, except that I have to go back in December to get the other three out. They haven't grown out yet but they are impacted, which I guess means they are growing sideways into my other teeth. Super. Faaaaantastic. Teeth suck.