Emmy June

Faye {7 Months}

2015-10-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

What a difference a month makes, my love! You are so mobile now...finally figuring out the crawling stance and making forward progress. The funny part about you being so mobile is that our co-sleeping arrangement has turned into an all-you-can eat buffet. You just wake up and crawl over and I don't get much say in the matter.

On the topic of eating, you tried your first solid foods soon after turning 6-months old. You were so ready and really enjoyed it. It was a messy, vocal, fun event. Now you love trying all kinds of food and you give us side eye if we are eating and you're not included. We are doing the "Baby Led Weaning" method and just giving you hunks of fruit & veggies to gnaw on. It's messy, but you love feeding yourself and have figured out how to use your two tiny teeth quite well!

We had your Christening on Saturday, October 3rd. It was so wonderful--really filled with love and joy. You truly seemed to enjoy the ceremony and when the minister put his hand on your head, you just looked up at him with the biggest smile. Many of our close friends attended and it was a blessing to feel so much love and support from our Cali "family."

On 10/2, we went out for a date night and Jai & Liz babysat you. When we came home, we discovered they taught you how to wave...and captured it on video. So cute! You practice this skill intermittently, and not always on command :)

Grandma came to visit for a week!

10/5: I was making you laugh today, pretending to eat your neck. Then you put your mouth on my face and made the same noise and giggled. It was so obvious that you were participating in the game. It was sweet and fun and surprising all at once. You're a smart cookie!

First swim class...back floating and practicing kicking. You had so much fun!

Of course once you got good at crawling, you immediately wanted to practice standing!

The wrong person is napping!

It seems like every month is such a developmental leap for you! It's hard to keep up! This month was so much fun..and also a lot of work. It was a big adjustment for us to start feeding you dinner every night. We really had to keep on track because after dinner you needed to go straight into the bath before turning into a pumpkin at 7pm for bedtime. Your dad and I felt a little overwhelmed by the amount of cooking, high chair cleaning, kitchen duties, and more that needed to be done every evening. However, we really figured out some good teamwork and it got much easier as we adjusted.

I think this month also felt overwhelming to me in terms of how to fit it all in. I just felt very pressed for time and wanted to make the most of our evening time together...but also felt like there was so much to do throughout the day and I was constantly having to prioritize and reprioritize.

Including you in family meal time is such a joy. I love seeing how happy it makes you and how proud you are to be part of it. You were so determined to crawl and it was a relief for all of us when you figured out how to make forward progress. It's funny because within two days of really doing "good" crawling, you became so interested in standing. I'm amazed how quickly you want to stretch your limits!

Without a doubt, there's so much that I'm forgetting to capture. Like how much we love to sing songs, how sharp your talon nails are, what a noisy eater you are, and how interested you are in your Mazzy dog. But I'm glad to be capturing little glimpses of our life anyway.

I've decided that your smile is what ever-new joy feels like. I could never tire of it. We are so in love with you!

Faye {6 Months}

2015-09-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

Faye's Sixth Month:

Weight: 17lbs, 5oz (90th percentile)
Height: 27" (95th percentile)
Size Clothes: 6 month clothes

New and Noteworthy: first 2 teeth cut (bottom middle), first time in a high-chair, first time meeting Daniel (from NZ), and Penny & Gary from Australia; on the "noteworthy" side of things...you're a total carseat pooper! As soon as you're buckled in and we start driving somewhere (usually to the babysitters), you decide it's the perfect time to poop. So funny!

If I could only pick two words for the month, they would be 1) crawling, and 2) fussy! Thankfully I can use as many words as I want and there were so many other noteworthy things this month. But seriously...you were hell-bent on figuring out how to crawl. You spent most of the month backward crawling, which didn't satisfy you in the least. The object of your desire would get further and further away--making you fussier and fussier. I know it was so much work trying to figure it all out. You overachieved big time by doing plank holds regularly.

I checked your mouth regularly thinking I could blame your fussiness on teething. I couldn't see any teeth buds for most of the month...but finally you did cut two bottom teeth! They are still just poking through and so we can cherish your gummy smile a little longer.

grandpa babywearing!

We had a whole week together for Convocation. It was such a sweet week of babywearing, long naps together daily, and spending time with friends. You got to meet Uncle Daniel from New Zealand, Penny & Gary from Australia, and many more friends. Our routine was to do our normal bedtime stuff at 7pm. Then once you were asleep, I would put you in the Ergo and go down to watch the 7:30pm evening class. Most nights you slept through it, but on Friday night you kept waking up. The speaker was Mrinalini Mata (the President of SRF) and she went way past the allotted hour of time. Toward the end, she had a pause in her talk and you let out the loudest, longest yawn. I think the whole room was silently amused.

hanging with Aunt Renee at Convo

we even met the Founder of Attachment Parenting International

Uncle Daniel!

(8/26) You signed "milk" to me for the first time. It was after work and we were just laying down to nurse and you looked at your hand and made the sign. Usually you just smile and giggle when I ask you if you want milk and do the baby sign language, so I know you understand...but it was amazing to see you sign for yourself!

first time in a high chair

At Uncle Eddy's graduation

You like trying to suck on my nose (gross, I know) and putting your mouth next to my mouth. It makes you giggle when i pretend to eat you. You're also so grabby now and wanting to scratch and touch anything you can get your hands on. The next thing you know, it will be in your mouth!

We went to Catalina Island over Labor Day weekend. It was such a fun time playing in the pool and enjoying the beautiful ocean views! We all had fun cruising around in the golf cart. Your eyes were as big as saucers.

After enjoying the pool on Catalina Island, and with it being so hot at home, we got a kiddie pool for the backyard. You mainly just try to eat the side of it.

Happy half birthday, my love! There's nothing we cherish more than observing and shaping the person you're becoming. With each new development, you better express your personality and it's so awesome. We love playing with you, snuggling you, consoling you, and more. We cannot wait to see what the next 6 months will bring!

Faye {5 Months}

2015-08-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

Faye's Fifth Month:

Weight: don't know...16+ pounds
Height: won't know until our 6-mo pediatrician appointment
Size Clothes: 6 month clothes, almost exclusively

I'm going to try a different format for these monthly updates, which I hope will better capture some of the day-to-day sweetness. Here are a few sweet moments I wrote down this month:

7/15: We had the most tender moment together this evening after work. I was sitting in bed, holding you in the air. You leaned forward until your face was close to mine. You cupped my cheek with your hand and studied my face so intently. While my heart surged with love, I looked deep in your eyes and thought how lucky that our souls reunited in this lifetime. I can't wait to see what you'll teach me.

7/20: Our bedtime routine is so sweet. I think I look forward to it as much as you do (minus the sometimes fussing and crying to get mommy to move faster.) Once we are in bed you are just frantic to nurse right away, even though often you're not that hungry. After you drink for awhile, on the nights when it's 6:30pm instead of 7pm, you start to softly coo in the dark and just seem to enjoy the quiet snuggle time. Tonight I softly sang some SRF chants to you, which you enjoyed. It's sweet how much you love my singing (must be unconditional love!)

7/20: Yesterday you wanted to hold my hands so you could pull yourself from the lying down position to sitting up. From there, you wanted to pull yourself into a standing position. I'd never seen you do this before. Today, it's like your new thing. I'm amazed how one day something is new, and the next it's like you have it mastered. You're getting so strong and coordinated and aware of your body. I love watching you grow and learn and am truly in awe of you.

7/20: Just when I start to question your nighttime feedings and wonder if I should be sleep training you, I read a couple chapters of "Sweet Sleep" and was reminded how normal it is....how you get 1/3 of your calories overnight...how it's our important bonding time after a full day away from each other...and how lucky I am that I get to snuggle you all night and meet all your needs for food and comfort. What a gift! Yes, I've had some nights of very interrupted sleep...but we manage and always seem to find time to sneak in a nap together or sleep in on the weekend to make up for it.

Since writing the last paragraph about sleep--two things have happened that are making our nights much more enjoyable. 1) I stopped looking at the clock and tracking how many times we are up. 2) We have mastered side-by-side nursing. Now I'm not spending much time awake at all and not analyzing whether you're hungry or how long it's been or how long before we get up for the day....I just pull you close and you nurse. I fall back asleep and we are both happy :)

Your physical capabilities have advanced so much this month! You grab everything in sight...my hair, my face, toys, carseat straps, your pacifier clip, your clothes, your feet...the list goes on! You play with your pacifier now as much as you actually suck on it. Everything goes in the mouth and we cannot seem to keep your chin dry because there's constant drool from you licking and sucking on everything.

You grew into your bouncer this month. At first it was very over-stimulating to you and it was only fun for a few minutes at a time. Now you're like an old pro and you love spending time in there. We laugh and laugh at how much time is spent with your face pressed against the rolling cylinder. You just spin it and lick it until your nose turns pink from being smooshed for so long!

You used to hate tummy time...now you will only spend time on your tummy. If we lay you on your back, you roll right over. Katie learned the hard way when you rolled off the couch at her house! But you're tough and only cried for a minute. You really want to crawl, and truth be told, you can. You've got the 360 movements down and you can backward crawl. You don't seem to know it yet though...probably because you're wishing you could go forward toward the things you see. Nonetheless, after five or ten minutes on the floor, you end up in a very different spot than you started. The days are numbered before we'll have to baby proof the house and keep a very close eye on you!

This past month has been a great one for the whole family. We've really settled into a routine with work, household duties, and spending quality time with you. You get to stay home with Daddy on Friday's and that's been a huge blessing for all of us. You two have bonded so much during that time and it's been a joy to observe. Also, your dad's confidence as a parent has grown tremendously and he's even washing & stuffing cloth diapers now! We are pretty lucky.

I've figured out a pretty good work-life balance and am no longer feeling much "mommy guilt." One day I had a late evening event for work, so we went to a Mommy & Me Music class (pictured above) before I dropped you at daycare in the morning. While I don't love the occasional late night at work, I am thankful for the flexibility in my schedule and I think we get a lot more time together than many other moms who work full-time.

Last Wednesday, I had an all-day work meeting in Orange County and I didn't think I would be home to see you before bedtime. But the traffic gods smiled on me, and I made it home at 6:25pm. I was ecstatic to get a little time together before bed and was just soaking it in. You were equally happy to see me. There was a moment when you were laying on your back and I had my face just over yours. I wasn't doing or saying anything, just smiling at you. You started grinning from ear to ear, and were smiling so hard that you couldn't help but giggle. This smiling and giggling went on for a minute or two. You were just so happy to see me that you couldn't contain it. It was so touching to me, because I felt the same, but it was the first time you expressed an emotion that made me realize that although you were a happy, content baby for your dad, you truly missed me and were so glad when I got home.

Every day with you gets better and better. I cannot wait to see what the next month brings. Love you baby girl!

Faye {4 Months}

2015-07-20T22:58:00.000-07:00

Faye's Fourth Month:

Weight: 14 lb, 15 oz (now in the 90th percentile--girlfriend doesn't miss meals!)
Height: 25.5 in (also 90th percentile!)
Size Clothes: 3 month and 3-6month...some 6-mo stuff

Sleeping: You pretty much eat every 3 hours, day or night. However, we had to do some transitions this month with you spending more time at daycare where you weren't eating the same quantity, which resulted in a LOT of nighttime feedings. Some nights every 2 hours. But you have a really solid bedtime routine now and you turn into a pumpkin by 7pm. You sleep from 7pm-7am, waking up only to eat. Naptime has also gotten more predictable and we expect a 1.5-2 hour nap every afternoon, in addition to some short naps.

Nicknames: Peanut Pumpernickel McGillacuddy

Likes: Reaching, touching, and pulling toys; bath time & splashing; being held & worn

Dislikes: you still don't love tummy time, but are okay in spurts; you sometimes get a little fussy on our car ride home from daycare

first Yankees game

Milestones:
We started cloth diapers when you turned 3 months, 1 day old and we've never looked back. It took a little adjusting on my part, but I actually enjoy it quite a bit. Your little bum hasn't had even a hint of diaper rash, so I think that's a vote of approval.

You started working hard on putting the pacifier in your mouth by yourself. By 6/26/15 you were able to do it. You have great hand-eye coordination that you continue working on.

We got to hear your first real laugh and it was so, so wonderful. I could see from your expression that you were just as surprised by the noises coming out of you. It's amazing that we didn't know what your laugh sounded like. Fortunately, we captured the moment on video!

While Grandma Gail was visiting, she taught you how to make a buzz sound with your lips. You figured out how to mimic her and now you make that sound regularly.

Grandma Gail visited you for 10 days

You sit up on your own! Over 4th of July we saw your friend Jake working on it with his momma, and we decided to try ourselves. After a couple of days, you were sitting up for 10 seconds unassisted. Then, almost overnight, you figured it out and can go long stretches. The pediatrician was blown away!

sitting up! big girl :)

hanging with Jake over 4th of July weekend

spontaneous hand holding <3

sweet visits with Aunt Renee

getting ready to walk to Starbucks

Faye, you are such a happy, sweet baby. We are lucky! At your 4-month checkup, you held the doctor's hand in both your hands while she listened to your heart. You smiled at her and it melted everyone. I've noticed that when you're in new environments, you like to quietly observe for awhile. You're not as talkative, smiley, or playful as you are at home until you've fully surveyed your new surroundings and all the people present. It's a sweet characteristic and I wonder if this will be your way in the world. It's been a fun month of playing and interacting. You're a little sponge and learning at such a fast rate, you amazed all of us--mom, dad, and grandma.

We had some transitions this month with Grandma Gail watching you during the day for a couple weeks, and then you started up daycare full-time. You've been really adaptable and go with the flow about it all. We love you soooooo much!

Faye {3 Months}

2015-06-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

{turned 3-months on June 12, 2015. The blog post is late...of course!}

You're so busy now it's getting hard to snap pictures of you

Your Aunt Becca came to visit and we had a fun girl's night that included Aunt Renee. You got loved on big time!

Your first time in a cloth diaper. It was a major fail--leakage everywhere!
(This was May 19 and since then you've grown into them.)

In the airport for our first flight to ABQ. Babywearing saved us and made it a really easy trip.
You slept the entire plane ride both directions.

We had a great visit with Aunt Beth and you got to meet your cousins who were really interested in you.

Faye's Third Month:

Weight: 14 lbs approx.
Height: won't know until 4mo checkup
Size Clothes: 3 month and 3-6month for everything

You still love sleeping with your head hanging off things.

And we still snooze together every chance we get :)

Sleeping: You still wake up to eat about every 3 hours at night. You are getting more predictable with nap time and bed time. Even during our two trips this month (both in different time zones), you pretty much kept to your "routine." You've had days where you sleep nearly all day it seems, which must be a sign of some major development.

Nicknames: Peanut, Faybeline, Baby Girl

Oftentimes people think you're a boy unless I put a headband on you (which I rarely do)

first time laying in your crib

First time in the Bumbo

Likes: Your hands! You love to study them, put them in your mouth, lick them, and try to suck your thumb. You also love sitting up and standing up. You still like scratching your face a lot (boo!)

Dislikes: While tummy time still isn't your favorite, you've definitely turned a corner. You still cry post-bath, but I'd say your biggest dislike is loud noises.

I had to go back to work. Major dislike!

First time at the beach. In your new ring sling.

Enjoying the pool in Miami

Pool chic!

Milestones: You took two flights this month--to Albuquerque and Miami! Your neck control has gotten so good and even strangers remark about how unbelievably strong you are for your age. You are also working hard on hand-eye coordination and exploring the "squacking/screaming" aspect of your voice. You spent about 5 minutes in your crib for the first time ever. You went in a pool (and didn't care.) You spent time on the beach. You wore a cloth diaper for the first time.

Meeting Great Grandma Shirley during our FL trip

Too busy grabbing things to smile for the camera

Annoyed with mom after being repositioned for the hundredth time

Faye, we had such a great month together! You're growing and developing so rapidly. Now when you're awake we can really play together and talk to each other. Our bond keeps getting deeper and I cannot believe how much I enjoy spending time with you. It's really a joy to be your mom and I'm so thankful for your sweet and easy-going disposition. I tell you a million times a day--you're so loved!

Gratitude and Grief

2015-06-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today was a rough day.
My first day back at work.
My mantra was to focus on the many things that fill my heart with gratitude...

...My sweet, healthy, easygoing baby.
...my supportive, loving husband who's been able to participate so much during my maternity leave.
...the precious 11 weeks I got to spend with my daughter without stressing about work or finances.
...the wonderful, sweet, caring person we found to watch Faye.
...a career I enjoy, filled with colleagues and customers that sent us so much love during this time.

And yet, there was also sadness.
Sadness that someone else was taking care of my Peanut.
Disappointment that I have to pump breastmilk when that time is usually reserved for sweet bonding.
A persistent, nagging feeling that something just isn't right.
That's there a tiny human out there dependent on me for survival, and I'm not there to love her, protect her, feed her, or teach her.

The first photo Katie texted me brought a tear to my eye.
Then I kept it together the rest of the day, just focusing on the task at hand.

When the work day finally ended and I got home with my babe,
she nursed,
while I cried.
I stroked her head, telling her how much I loved her.
How much I missed her.

When she finished nursing, she told me all about her day.
With her coos and smiles, she assured me that everything would be okay.

First day photos sent from her loving care provider, Katie

Playing with Katie's 18-month old daughter

Faye {2 Months}

2015-05-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

post was written on 5/13/15

first real smile I was able to capture on camera

Faye's Second Month:

Weight: 11lbs exactly! (59%)
Height: 22.5 inches (60%)
Size Clothes: We ditched newborn size onesies & pajamas around 6 weeks due to length. You still fit into NB pants, but wear 3-mo sizes for everything else.

when you sleep on my chest it's my favorite thing ever

Sleeping: You're still sleeping really well at night. We now wake up just once a night, usually at 3am. You went through a little stretch of not sleeping much during the day, choosing to just quietly observe everything instead. I started doing a better job of tracking your sleep and laying you down for naps so you're not over-stimulated.

Nicknames: Peanut, Faybeline, Hiccup, HG (short for Hiccup Grunt)

Likes: Smiling & Cooing, scratching your face, kicking, being rocked, Mommy's singing, bath time, watching TV (boo!), the ceiling fan, the changing table {your favorite place!}

in the sweater & hat that Grandma made you...your last time wearing it because you're growing so fast!

Dislikes: hiccups, being burped, tummy time (you cried at the pediatrician's office just to demonstrate this point), post-bath time (toweling & moisturizing), having your nails clipped, being swaddled (you like your arms free)

Milestones: You rolled from tummy to back 3 times at only three weeks old! you don't do it often, but you will if you're frustrated enough during tummy time. You track things very well with your eyes and will turn your head when you hear familiar voices. Smiling & cooing were the big milestones this month and have been, BY FAR, our favorite thing so far. They seriously melt our hearts!

When you let out little cries in your sleep it makes us giggle. We wonder what baby nightmares could be about. Is a boob being dangled in front of your face, then taken away?

you love motion so Aunt Renee & Uncle Eddy made a "swaddle hammock" to swing you in

our first Mother's Day

Mother's Day smiles

Our First Date Night

2015-05-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

Faye is 8 weeks old and Jeff & I were ready to get out for a date night. We're the couple that used to see most movies in the theater and try every new restaurant for dinner. Our new life with a baby is pretty amazing and we are really enjoying the shift in priorities. So far we've been good about allowing each other some independence by taking turns on "baby duty." However, this arrangement doesn't work for date nights, so we needed to find someone reliable and trustworthy to watch our sweet babe. Sadly, we don't have any family in the area so what's the next best thing? UrbanSitter! UrbanSitter is a website that taps into your friends and parenting social circles to help you find sitters personally hired and reviewed by parents from your child's school, after school activities, and your network of friends on Facebook and LinkedIn. How cool is that?

We used UrbanSitter to find a great sitter named Verenice. She's a mom herself and is very well-reviewed from other parents. Using the UrbanSitter website, we were able to view her video introduction and schedule an interview to ask any questions we had. Then we booked her using their online scheduling system.

Verenice with Faye

On our way!

Playing with #handsfreeselfies using the new Anti-Gravity iPhone case

Jeff and I tag-teamed the planning of our date night. I selected the entertainment and he planned dinner. We went to Pantages Theater in Hollywood {a long time favorite of ours!} to see Motown The Musical. But first, Jeff found a great us an awesome dinner spot called Kitchen 24.

Despite ordering Short Rib Sliders, Build Your Own Smac & Cheese, the Kitchen Cobb salad, and the After School Special, we barely made a dent in their huge menu. After much lip smacking deliciousness, we decided that this is our go-to spot before any future Pantages shows.

My inner child ordered "The After School Special" aka Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup

Motown The Musical was great! You cannot go wrong with all the hits from Smokey Robinson, Diana Ross, The Supremes, The Four Tops, and the list goes on. I've never seen such a lively, interactive audience at the theater. People really connected to the iconic music, perfectly performed by the Motown actors. The show is long and it was 9:30pm by the time we had intermission. My boobs were feeling so full of milk and I didn't have time to pump. Plus, I was missing my baby! Verenice was sweet enough to send me some text updates of Faye which helped a ton...but I was still ready to get home to my babe. After a trip to the bathroom during the intermission, I emerged and told Jeff I was ready to go home. He quickly pivoted from surprise to understanding and agreed that we could head home. We loved the first half of the musical and we listened to Motown Sounds on Pandora during the drive home to keep the show alive.

I was so ready to get right home to my baby, knowing that we'd need to nurse {and probably pump} before getting to bed. Thankfully, with UrbanSitter you can skip the trip to the ATM because you can pay the sitter by credit card with a tap. It's like the Uber of babysitting! Walking through the front door to see Faye asleep on Verenice's chest, rocking away in the glider, seriously melted my heart. I was so glad to know she was well taken care of. Hopefully this was the first of many successful date nights in our new life as parents.

Now you can try UrbanSitter too using the code FORFREETRIAL to get a free month. What are you waiting for? Start planning your date night now ;)

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Crossfit Postpartum Update

2015-05-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

Before returning to Crossfit, I waited the full six weeks to be cleared by my midwife. About five week postpartum I started doing some small sets of pushups, air squats, and jump rope at my house...just to see how things would feel. Other than that, my first six weeks were used for my own physical recovery, to allow my body to recoup from the blood loss, and to bond with my baby. We took more naps than walks, and enjoyed a pretty sedentary existence. I wouldn't have it any other way!

Bringing Faye to Crossfit for the first time. She was 9 days old and we were both just spectators!

I think we often get way too focused on being productive and we are far too anxious to get that pre-baby body back. Here's the thing though, the priority list should look something like this:

Feeding baby
Getting breastfeeding established
Cuddle time & bonding with baby
Physical recovery for mommy
Rest, rest, rest, rest, rest
Sleep & naps, sleep & naps
Mommy nutrition (at least 700 additional calories per day if breastfeeding)
Learning how to use all the crazy baby gear
etc
etc
etc
etc
Mommy exercise

This is, of course, just my opinion...but when I read about moms that started working out just 2-3 weeks after childbirth, it makes me cringe a little. Actually, it really makes me feel sad. That postpartum time is so precious. It goes so fast. Why rush things? Society, the media, and other women put so much pressure on us to lose the baby weight and get our pre-baby bodies back that we have a tendency to put the cart before the horse.

Faye dressed in her little Crossfit onesie and camo leg warmers

Anyhow, enough of that rant, and onto my experience restarting Crossfit postpartum. Prior to my 6-week appointment, I had already been checked by two midwives who both confirmed that I had no diastasis recti (separation of the abdominal muscles.) This is really critical, because certain exercises can make this problem worse and, if not properly rehabbed, often requires surgical repair. Since I knew I didn't have any diastasis, I scheduled a personal training session with a BirthFit coach on the day of my 6-week midwife appointment. At my BirthFit session, my coach shared with me some exercises to help encourage abdominal healing and also some exercises that should be avoided for at least 12 weeks postpartum(!!) even in the absence of diastasis.

The next day I happily returned to my Crossfit gym. My legs were totally dead from all the back squats I did with my BirthFit coach. Then we did Strict Press on my first day back...so pretty quickly my entire body was sore beyond belief. I couldn't believe how terrible my fitness felt. My lifts felt weak and I couldn't push the cardio too much without feeling dizzy. It's weird to realize you felt better working out 41 weeks pregnant than you do 6 weeks postpartum...but that was my reality.

Without realizing it, I had put a lot of expectation on my postpartum fitness. I thought being 25-35lbs lighter would immediately translate into feeling so light, fast, and strong. Wrong! As I write this post, I've now been back at Crossfit for two weeks. Just today my workout felt a little better and my fitness feels like its moving in the right direction....but I am nowhere near my peak performance.

I also had a bit of an epiphany. I need to scale the workouts to a similar degree as I did during my last trimester (this mainly applies to weight lifting percentages), and I need to be just as patient with myself now as I was then. My attitude during the last few months of my pregnancy was that "just showing up and working out is a victory, regardless of my score or time or how much weight I lifted." That's exactly the attitude I need now. I know my fitness will return. I know I have more PR's in my future...but for now, I need to just show up and consider that a victory.

41 weeks pregnant

1 Week postpartum

While it's not my intention to make this post about losing the baby weight, I will say that maintaining an exercise regimen during pregnancy is so helpful in this regard! I cannot say for sure whether it was Crossfit or genetics or what exactly but by Day 3 postpartum when I had the idea to hop on the scale, I had already lost 25lbs of the 35 total that I gained during my pregnancy. The weight has continued to fall off easily and I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight now (8 weeks postpartum.)

My hope is that the information I shared about Crossfitting during pregnancy and now postpartum can help other pregnant mamas be happy and healthy and stay active during pregnancy, have a great childbirth, and get back to it once things settle down about 6-8 weeks after the baby arrives. It's an awesome adventure!

A Mommy Must-Have

2015-05-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

There are a million "newborn survival guides" or "mommy must-haves" out there, so I'll save the rehash and focus on the one universal thing that every mom needs.

Food.

Preferably food that is already cooked, delivered hot, and quickly. It also needs to be easy to order because at least one hand is tied up with the baby. Seriously though, finding time to prepare a meal and eat it can be a real struggle. This is where DoorDash becomes a lifesaver. DoorDash delivers from hundreds of local restaurants in 45 minutes or less.

How it Works: Go to their website to order or download the app {I recommend the app, it's super easy to use.} The app will calculate your location and you set your delivery address. Then a huge list of restaurants will appear for you to choose from. The selection is far and away superior to other services I've used. You can order from sushi restaurants, the amazing local burger joint, and all kinds of places that have never offered delivery before. The best part? No order minimum. There's a $6.99 delivery fee which is totally justified when you're in pajamas, nursing your baby on the couch. You pay with credit card via the app and you can track your order with up-to-the-minute updates so you know exactly where your food is.

Why Its Great:

Ordering is really easy, and your first delivery is free.
Amazing restaurant selection--from high-end to low-end--and many restaurants that have never, ever delivered.
Food arrives quickly! There's no exaggeration when they say it will arrive in under 45 minutes. I had very low expectations because other services I've used in the past took forever!
Track your order (I get the text alerts) so your hangry self will actually believe that food is on the way.
Pay via the app (they even take Apple Pay) so it's an easy, no-cash transaction when the food arrives.

Now is the fun part. I invite you to try DoorDash for yourself. DoorDash currently serves San Francisco, Silicon Valley, San Jose, Los Angeles, Orange County, Boston, and Chicago.

Also, if you know a new mama, you can order food to be delivered to her door. This is an amazing gift. {I promise the baby already has enough blankets.}

1.) Go to the DoorDash website by clicking here.
2.) Enter promo code EMMYJUNE for a $10 credit toward your first order (plus free delivery.) This code expires May 17, 2015 so don't delay. (Promo code is for new customers only. Once redeemed the $10 will remain in your account until you decide to use it.)
3.) Enjoy a delicious meal, delivered to your home in under 45 minutes.

I was given a credit to DoorDash in exchange for an honest review. I've also used the service multiple times on my own. All opinions are 100% mine.

Faye {1 Month}

2015-05-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

Better late than never, right?
Here's a photo dump of some of my favorite photos from our first month together.

mornings with Grandma

Have you ever seen so many wrinkles?!??!

Lots of serious and intense looks during the first month. That's what happens when you cannot smile yet!

A rare day of being fully dressed in something adorable

Gas and/or milk drunk smile

We did lots of walking around in our fancy stroller

Lots of babywearing--especially in the morning

Getting vitamin D

Tummy time {which you hate.} This picture also highlights your sharpei skin folds :)

Hiking with friends

Easter Sunday!

All the faces you make when you're milk drunk

Faye's First Month:

Weight: 8lbs 8oz...eating and growing well :)
Height: 21 inches...maybe more!
Size Clothes: finally filling out the Newborn size clothes

Sleeping: Great sleeper! Usually 3-4 hours stretches at night, although she gave us a couple 5-6 hour stretches. One night I only got up once. Typically we were up together twice a night. About three times a week I would lay down with you in the afternoon. You would fall asleep on my chest and then I would crash out for about a two hour nap. We are great co-nappers!

Nicknames: Peanut, Faybeline, Pumpkin Butt
Likes: The boob!, sunshine, being walked around the house in the evenings, walks in the stroller or babywearing, pacifers (we discovered this around 3 weeks old)
Dislikes: hiccups (which occur about 5 times per day), being burped, wipes on the face/neck, tummy time

I've become that crazy lady who could smell my newborn all day long and thinks baby breath actually smells delicious. Amidst all the self-healing in the first month, I spent lots of time just staring at my baby. She'd fall asleep on me a lot and then I'd just remain in that spot...it turns out this is a good strategy for wondering "how is it 5pm already? What happened to the day?!"

Faye is such a good baby and really easy going. Her timing was good with people coming to visit and she always seemed to be in sync with our schedule (crazy, right?!) We took advantage of her sleeping all the time and went out to dinner and lunch with her in tow. We were so lucky to have Grandma with us for almost 4 weeks after the birth--taking care of me and loving on Faye. She quarterbacked all the meals and helped keep the house clean. She also provided that really valuable 30-60 minutes in the morning and evening where she held Faye and gave us a break.

All in all, the first month was awesome. I didn't feel sleep deprived and truly felt like I enjoyed each day. Some things we instantly figured out--diaper changing, swaddling, and such..while others, like pumping breast milk, folding/unfolding the stroller, nail trimming, etc we kind of added in one at a time. It's amazing how much we figured out about baby gear and taking care of our sweet Faye in such a short amount of time!

Faye's Newborn Photos

2015-04-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

Some favorites from our newborn photo shoot.
All photos are the copyright of Katie Trusz Photography.
{Taken at 10 days old.}

Why We Chose a Midwife, a Doula, and Home Birth

2015-04-10T04:00:00.001-07:00

Our thought process into natural childbirth began about a year before we got pregnant. We watched a documentary on Netflix called The Business of Being Born and learned so much about the down side of medical interventions during childbirth and the epidemic of c-sections in the United States. About a year later, we found ourselves pregnant and under the care of an OB/GYN who we liked. As we thought more about our vision for our birth, it was really shaped by what we didn't want.

We didn't want a c-section. That was far and away my biggest concern.
We didn't want to feel coerced into medical interventions.
We didn't want to be scoffed at or doubted as we discussed natural, unmedicated birth.

Okay, so now what?

I began looking into our options for birth centers and midwives. We toured both our local hospitals and learned that they had c-section rates of 35% and 42% respectively. No matter how much we liked our OB/GYN, I didn't trust the medical paradigm she was practicing in.

Screenshot from Birth By the Numbers video

The data was pretty clear that the best way to avoid a c-section was to avoid induction of labor and to avoid an epidural. Given that both of these are offered to women during a very vulnerable time, and administered in the hospital, it made sense to me to avoid the hospital setting all together. Thus, I began looking into birth centers and midwifery care.

At first, I was more drawn to birth centers because the idea of home birth seemed a little gross to me. I wasn't sure that I wanted all the bodily fluids and "dirty" parts of childbirth happening under my roof. We interviewed a couple midwives and ultimately chose the person we felt most connected to. Secondarily, I liked that she had a birth center in addition to doing home birth...so we would have the option. At her birth center, there were many childbirth education classes, parent groups, etc and I liked the idea of joining a larger community and meeting other couples that were making similar decisions to us.

Our our babymoon in Mexico, sitting by the pool, listening to Hypnobabies

The way I decided to prepare for childbirth was using the Hypnobabies home study curriculum. My sister used this very successfully with her second child and almost didn't make it to the hospital because she had such a quick labor. This is relatively common with Hypnobabies, because all of the affirmations and hypnotic suggestions include "a quick, easy birth." The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a home birth made sense. After all, the only thing that's stressful about a quick labor is trying to get to the hospital or birth center in time. Why not labor in the comfort of my own home and let them come to me? No need to worry about packing a bag. No need to worry about driving with a one day old baby. So that's how we settled on doing home birth.

We transferred our care from the OB/GYN to our midwife after our 20 week ultrasound. The difference in care is pretty profound. The midwife appointments follow the same schedule as standard OB/GYN care, but they are 1-hour long. They discuss diet and nutrition, emotional state, and they engage the husband and make him feel important. At each appointment, they palpate your stomach to feel for the baby's position and growth. I'm shocked how many people have a posterior baby (face-up) and had no idea their baby was in that position. Our midwife was an expert at using her hands to understand how the baby was positioned. At 40 weeks, we went for an ultrasound because there was some concern about my amniotic fluid levels. At that ultrasound, the doctor said the baby was 7lbs 9oz. Yet, 10 days later when she was born, she was only 7lbs 2oz. By his estimates, she should have been well over 8lbs at birth. In constrast, my midwife's "low tech" way of doing things had her estimating my baby's weight at 7 and 1/4 pounds...only 2oz off from her actual birth weight.

Source

Another wonderful thing about midwifery care is true informed consent. Each decision is laid out in factual terms for the mother and father to decide. For example, they asked us if we wanted our baby to get the antibacterial eye cream that is standard for all hospital births. They explained that it was a preventative measure in case the mother has a certain STD (chlamydia I think?) which can cause an eye infection and lead to blindness in the baby. Because we knew that my STD status was negative, we declined. The cream is irritating to baby's eyes and there was no need to expose her to an antibiotic cream for no reason. In every instance, you're empowered to know the facts and make informed decisions about your care and your baby's care.

Source

The other decision we made to support our desire for a natural childbirth was hiring a doula. Doulas are non-medical birth workers who help provide physical and emotional support to mothers before and during labor. Studies have shown that having a doula as a member of the birth team decreases the overall cesarean rate by 50%, the length of labor by 25%, the use of oxytocin by 40% and requests for an epidural by 60% (Source.)

My wonderful doula, Lara

I'm so thrilled that I was able to have a natural childbirth. I'll admit there's a part of me that likes the badge of honor and how people perceive me to be so strong and tough...but a much bigger part of me is saddened by this reaction because I truly believe that all women are capable of natural childbirth. It's what our bodies are designed to do. Unfortunately, the images of childbirth we see in the media and the current climate of Obstetrics care in the United States has made many women feel inadequate and incapable. It's so pervasive that some women don't have a single role model in their life of another woman who had a natural birth--no wonder they don't feel like it's possible. So for that reason, I'm proud that I did it. I'm thankful that I can be an example and provide encouragement to other women who intuitively believe that they shouldn't expose themselves or their babies to medication during childbirth. Please don't mistake my sentiments as a judgement or indictment of women who get epidurals and such...I have very close friends and family members whom I love and respect that had medicated childbirths. I simply feel passionately that women can do it naturally if they really want to, they properly prepare, and they have a supportive team of healthcare providers surrounding them in their birthing time.

Read our birth story here.

Birth Story Continued

2015-04-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Start by reading our birth story here.

Our immediate post-birth experience was wonderful. I'm still so touched and grateful for the incredibly loving care that Faye and I received. One of the benefits of doing the birth without any drugs was that I felt completely alert, energized, and ecstatic. I felt completely in the present moment, talking to my baby girl and welcoming her into the world. "We are so happy you're here baby girl. We did it! You did such a good job sweetie. Mommy loves you so much."

Listening to her heart and breathing

Smiles from our amazing midwife, Amy

Faye didn't leave my chest for more than two hours. They lifted her above me briefly to help clear some fluid from her mouth and lungs. Every action was explained to me and to the baby. They would talk to her and tell her what they were going to do and why. I loved that. Each task was done with such loving care and infinite patience. Nothing felt rushed or robotic.

Clearing fluid from her lungs

We allowed Faye to self latch and start breastfeeding. It was so fun (and funny) to watch. It took her about a half hour to really get latched and start drinking. During that thirty minutes she would bob her head and kick her legs to get repositioned and find the boob. Then she would get tired and just start sucking on her hand for awhile before getting serious again. (More information on the benefits of baby-led latch found here.)

Holding Dad's hand while trying to latch

After birthing the placenta, I lost a fair bit of blood. Unfortunately, that just happens sometimes and there isn't a real reason or way to avoid it. I actually had no knowledge of this in the moment. It didn't hurt or bother me. I was talking to Jeff, my sister, my friend Renee, the midwives, and baby Faye. Faye was breastfeeding and I felt like a million bucks :) They put the placenta in a bowl right next to me so that Faye could get all the cord blood until it stopped pulsating. I really recommend insisting on delayed cord clamping if you birth in a hospital setting, there is solid research showing the benefits. Studies have shown that infants who have delayed cord clamping end up with a whopping 32% more blood volume than infants who have immediate cord clamping – without any increased risk of problems. (More info here.)

When the bleeding stopped, Amy determined that I had a second degree tear from the birth. She began stitching me up. This was slightly uncomfortable, but truly nothing compared to childbirth (ha!) so I was still able to interact during this time. She really took her time and was incredibly meticulous--something I truly appreciate.

About two hours post-birth, it was finally time to cut the cord and start the newborn examination. Jeff wasn't interested in cutting the cord, and neither was I. My sister did it and she also helped gently clean up Faye's skin. This was the first time Faye left my arms. She was weighed, measured, checked for symmetry, step reflex, and more.

Little feet while getting weighed

7lbs, 2oz

Checking her step reflex

Getting cleaned up by Aunt Beth

When she finished her newborn check, it was time for skin-to-skin with daddy. It was also time for me to go pee. My midwives helped me sit up, and they told me that I lost a fair bit of blood when the placenta separated, so I might feel woozy. Once I adjusted to sitting upright, I stood up with their help. Immediately I felt ringing in my ears and had to lay back down with my feet up for a bit. We tried again awhile later and I successfully made it to the bathroom, but still felt very dizzy. I told them I couldn't make it back to the bed and asked to lie down on the bathroom floor. We agreed on a compromise that involved me crawling on all fours back to bed. I wish I had a picture of that, I bet it was pretty funny. Once I got back to bed, they offered me an IV of fluids to help me recover faster from the blood loss. I accepted and got setup with a bed side IV, which went for about 30 minutes. During that time, the midwives cleaned up the whole house and took down the birth tub.

Daddy skin-to-skin time

At 4:30am, they tucked us into bed and left. They returned Saturday morning (roughly 24 hours later) for our first postpartum visit. They checked to see how I was healing, they weighed Faye, and asked lots of questions about breastfeeding, etc. In our discussion, they gave me a few tips about getting a great latch which proved to be so helpful (and the reason I never ended up with crazy sore nipples!) We reminisced about the birth and what an amazing experience it was.

All tucked into bed for our first "night" sleep (at 4:30am)

Three days later, they returned for another visit to check on me and do Faye's PKU heel prick test. They weighed Faye again and she was already back to her birth weight--a great sign that she was eating well. I was dealing with some armpit swelling and breast engorgement. The midwives gave me a couple homeopathic remedies and the problem cleared up within two days. I really cannot emphasize enough how amazing those two home visits were. There is so much self-care that needs to happen after childbirth and it's wonderful to have the support and care of knowledgeable healthcare providers in your own home. You don't have to change out of pajamas or deal with transporting the baby--it's fantastic. It also meant that we were able to nip problems in the bud and proactively discuss any potential issues. In standard OB care, you don't see your doctor once you leave the hospital until 6 weeks postpartum!

I'm so grateful to our amazing birth team for helping us achieve the birth we wanted and ushering us into parenthood in such a graceful way.

Read about our decision to use midwives and have a home birth here.

Faye Lauran: A Birth Story

2015-04-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Our sweet Faye finally decided to arrive ten days past her due date on March 12, 2015. In contrast to my pregnancy which was easy, graceful, and felt pretty fast, those final ten days were agonizing and somehow seemed longer than the prior forty weeks. I still felt fine physically and continued exercising, but emotionally I was a wreck. It was so difficult to be off work, using precious leave that was intended to bond with my baby, to simply watch the days waste away with no baby in sight. I diligently studied every list of natural induction techniques and put many of them into practice. Each day would start with a renewed hope, “maybe today is the day”, I would think, but each day ended in disappointment. I tried using logic with myself, knowing that the average first pregnancy was 41 weeks 2 days, but I still felt frustrated that mybaby wasn’t coming according to my plan.

I went to my prenatal appointment on Tuesday, March 10 (8 days late) and cried my eyes out to my midwives. Waiting was so hard. I explained that my sister was flying in from Albuquerque the next day for a very short visit to meet the baby, and I was so worried that our baby girl might not be here yet. To make matters worse, we had to discuss making an appointment for more biometric and non-stress testing at the end of the week to make sure the placenta was still functioning so late in the pregnancy. We also had to discuss medical induction if the pregnancy went to 42 weeks. Just the thought of not having the natural, non-medicated, home birth that I wanted and planned for was enough to send me into a new fit of sobs. The midwives assured me that it was normal for first pregnancies to go long, that my baby was perfectly healthy, and that my sister coming was the perfect distraction that I needed.

Me and my sister, Beth

The next day brought the arrival of my sister Beth. We enjoyed a beautiful sunny day together, going for a long walk by the ocean. We timed contractions on and off during the day, but they never formed a definite pattern and they didn’t progress in intensity or frequency. The next morning I hooked up my breast pump to try more nipple stimulation to induce labor, while my sister rubbed my feet and used pressure points that according to our Googling would induce labor. At noon, we went back to my midwife’s for another prenatal appointment.

At my appointment, I had them do a cervical check and sweep my membranes (one of the most invasive natural induction methods.) The cervical check revealed that I was 2cm dialated and 80% effaced. The baby was a +1, almost +2, which means she was very low in my pelvis. The membrane sweep removed the mucous plug, so we were hopeful that would help get things started. I cried my eyes out again. I was so frustrated that my baby wasn’t here. Thankfully, my midwives were so attuned to mind, body, and spirit that they were able to intuitively understand the problem and offer some sage advice. “Stop with all the natural induction techniques,” they said, “you’re trying to force things and you cannot force this. You need to communicate with your baby and let her know that she can come when she’s ready. One of the hardest things about childbirth is that you aren’t in control of the timing. You have to surrender that and it can be really hard. Just try your best to let your baby know that she can come when she’s ready.” More tears.

My last belly photo, taken at 41 weeks

We returned home for more sister bonding time. I felt so bad that my sister was here to meet the baby and Baby Girl wasn’t here. However, my sister was so reassuring that she was at peace with any outcome and happy to be visiting regardless. Around 5pm we decided to go for a walk. During our walk I could feel contractions happening with regularity, and with more intensity that I’d ever felt previously. As our walk continued, I could feel them radiating through my back and I was cautiously optimistic that things were moving in the right direction. We returned to the house at 6pm and placed an order for spicy Indian food for dinner. I told Beth that I was hesitant to start timing contractions because I didn’t want to jinx it. Nevertheless, I started timing. From 6pm to 7pm, my contractions came every 2:30 and lasted a 1:00. Wow! I was really in labor. I texted my husband that I was having contractions that were stronger and closer together, and that the baby could very well be coming tonight. He was out to dinner with a friend and immediately headed for home.

By the end of the hour, I was no longer able to talk through the contractions. I called a midwife named Allegra (not my main midwife, but the person I was instructed to call early on) to tell her what was happening. “You sound pretty excited,” she said. “I encourage you to eat dinner, and try to get some sleep. Keep things as normal as possible, because this could last until tomorrow evening and you want to be as rested as possible.” Wow! After that call I felt like I needed to hunker down and mentally prepare for labor to last a lot longer that I was anticipating. I followed her advice and had a few bites of Indian food, then hopped in the shower. Every time a pressure wave came, I would lean against the shower wall and use my Hypnobabies techniques to get through it. How in the heck was I going to handle 24 hours of this?! I climbed into bed and labored on my side for awhile. Every time Jeff came in to ask me a question or check on me, he had the unlucky timing of talking to me during a pressure wave. It was driving me nuts!

We decided to call the doula and ask her to come over. Words cannot express the relief I felt when she arrived. She told me at a later date that she thought I was sleeping when she arrived. Clearly the intensity of what was happening inside my body wasn’t translating in my outward expressions. However, at one point she did ask me how I was feeling. I told her the waves were really intense. She asked if I was feeling pushy and I remember telling her “I really feel like I have to poop with every wave and I don’t know if that’s what you mean by pushy.” She asked me to get up and walk around. I was not pleased. “Where are we going?” Lara instructed me to walk around the living room, while thinking in her head that she needed to get me out of that bed in order to keep the labor progressing. I made it into the living room and then onto the toilet in the guest bathroom. I labored there for awhile and then went back into bed, where I found that laying down had become unbearably painful. My legs were spasming and I felt like a flopping fish. I requested the birth ball and found some relief in that position. Lara instructed Jeff to rub my back in a way that felt really heavenly! I believe it was around this time that we decided to call Amy (my main midwife) and ask her to come.

Beth filling the birth tub (which we never had time to use)

By the time Amy arrived, I’d been laboring on the toilet of my master bathroom for awhile. Lara was actively coaching me through each pressure wave. Her voice was such a source of solace and strength for me. We had Hypnobabies tracks playing through the sound system, but Lara also used many of the verbal cues to help me stay deep and use my natural anesthesia. She helped me breathe through the waves and reminded me to relax my muscles, which was so hard! As soon as Amy arrived, there was a flutter of activity as they unloaded equipment. Jeff and Beth began filling the birth tub. However, after only about five minutes, I felt a strange pressure moving down and out. “Lara, the baby is coming!” I was still on the toilet so I put my hands down to catch the baby, and I felt a warm gush of fluid as my water broke. Oh, so that’s what that feeling was! Amy noticed some meconium in the fluid so she was anxious to check me and see how quickly we could have the baby. They wanted me to move to my bed to perform the check. I was silently skeptical that I could make the fifteen foot walk to my bed because the pressure waves felt relentless—coming so strong and frequently that I was only getting about 20 seconds between them. I got onto all fours on the bathroom floor…my poor attempt at making progress toward the bedroom. I made it through a few waves in that position, before throwing up my Indian food dinner. Mercifully, Amy seemed to understand that the bedroom was out of reach, and she brought a birth stool into the bathroom. Once on the birth stool, she was able to check my cervix. “She’s complete…10cm…let’s have a baby.” Hallelujah! That was music to my ears.

After fifteen minutes of pushing, we were getting close. Faye’s heart rate was fluctuating and I could tell my birth team was concerned. They would check her heart rate between each wave and at one point, it dropped pretty low. “Okay mama, I need you to breathe to your baby,” Amy directed me. C’mon baby girl, I thought, we need your heart rate to go up. You can do this sweetie. We are almost there. Her heart rate improved. The sensation of the baby crowning was so incredibly intense, a burning feeling that made me want to avoid pushing. Lara sensed that I was shrinking away from that sensation. “Emily,” she said, “I need you to push toward that feeling. You cannot pull away from it. You need to go toward that feeling.” She reminded me to hold my breath as I pushed, and Jeff (who was standing behind me) said he’s never seen my traps and shoulder muscles grow so big and tense. Amy’s next instruction was to reach down and feel my baby’s head. She was right there. After another wave, Amy had more guidance. “After the next wave, I want you to stand up and wiggle your hips.” Somehow, I was able to follow her instruction. Once standing, she instructed me to stretch my arms over my head before sitting back on the birth stool.

A little comfort from my doula, Lara

Standing up to stretch before the final push

The burning sensation between my legs was unbearable. With the next pressure wave, I held my breath and gave my everything to push out my baby. She flew out in one quick, slippery motion. Amy caught her and apparently Lara had to tell me to open my eyes and look at my baby (I have no recollection of that…haha…but Lara says she had to tell me twice. Apparently I was enjoying the sweet, sweet relief!) I lifted my baby to my chest and we quickly moved to the bed.

Our sweet baby girl was finally here.

After just six hours of fast, furious labor, she was here.

After twenty seven minutes of pushing, she was here.

10 days late, but perfectly on time, at 11:47pm on March 12th.

7lbs, 2oz and 20 inches long.

I hope to write another post where I talk a bit more about the immediate post-birth experience. I’ll also discuss our decision to use a midwife for our prenatal care and our decision to have a home birth.

Welcome to the world, baby Faye. We love you so much and are so glad you’re here. In three weeks time, you’ve filled our hearts with so much love, joy, and gratitude.

The birth story continues here.
Read more about our decision to use a midwife and have a home birth here.

Crossfit While Pregnant: The Third Trimester

2015-03-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

Power snatch + Overhead Squats at 31 weeks

Working out in the third trimester felt great! My energy level and stamina remained good and I enjoyed continuing to sweat and exercise. The other huge benefit for me in third trimester was

REDUCED SWELLING!

I really didn't experience much swelling during my pregnancy. However, I flew to Florida at 36 weeks and my ankles, feet, and hands got swollen. After spending two days guzzling water and elevating my feet, I had enough. I went to the hotel gym with my jump rope in hand. After assessing the equipment, I decided on a workout with some dumbbell hang power cleans + push presses and Double Unders. Thirty minutes later, the swelling in my extremities was noticeably improved. Since that dramatic experience, I've noticed that if I have two rest days in a row, I'll have a little more fluid retention in my hands and feet...nothing that's a big deal...but it's easily remedied once I'm back at the gym.

We worked out at Bahia Crossfit during our Christmas babymoon to Puerto Vallarta (31 weeks pregnant)

Despite feeling great during my third trimester, my changing body required more modifications. Here's the quick list of the changes I made.

Stopped or Modified:

Pull-ups: at 33 weeks, I started using a band for high-volume pull-ups in a WOD. Apparently gaining 30ish pounds finally caught up with me!

Toes to Bar: at some point (cannot remember exactly), my belly started getting in the way of the full range of motion, and I began kicking straight out as a modification.

Box Jumps: at week 35 I began modifying to step-ups. I will still do box jumps as part of a warm-up, but it's too physically taxing to do them in the WOD itself.

Burpees: at 32 weeks I stopped going down all the way to the floor and starting just stepping back into a straight arm plank, then jumping up and clapping.

Olympic lifting at 39 weeks (the weight is about 75% of my 1rep max)

More olympic lifting (39 weeks pregnant)

On my due date! 40 weeks pregnant...getting ready to do an Endurance WOD of running, rowing, double unders, and ring rows...trying to coax the baby out of me!

Without a doubt, everyone's journey with pregnancy and fitness is different! Thank you for reading mine and I hope it helps inspire you to keep moving as much as possible while pregnant. For me, Crossfit has been the greatest gift over the past 40 weeks and I believe it's a big reason that my pregnancy has been so healthy and enjoyable.

Crossfit While Pregnant: The Second Trimester

2015-02-18T04:00:00.000-08:00

The second trimester, for me, brought relief from many of my first trimester symptoms...making it the easiest trimester for Crossfit workouts. It was so nice to tell our family and friends the great news! Our gym even did a "Gender Reveal WOD" when we found out the sex of the baby. It was so fun :)

I had some transient symptoms at the beginning of the second trimester--like dizziness and weakness. However I've learned not to assume that some new symptom will only continue and/or get worse as the pregnancy goes on. In fact, it's been the opposite for me. Most symptoms are here one day and gone the next, so it's good to continue tuning in with your body rather than adhere to rules or assumptions.

My boob soreness went away in the second trimester, which made burpees and jump rope much more pleasant. I also had less concerns about my bladder during double under jump roping, oddly enough.

box jumping in the background

Halloween WOD--about 5 months pregnant--doing knees to elbows (instead of situps)

We got my mom to come (she was visiting from MI) and worked her into our costume idea

med ball run

hiking, 7 months pregnant

Movements I continued:
strict pullups (yay strength building despite weight gain)
kipping pullups
all olympic lifting
box jumps
wall balls
Toes to bar
etc.

PR's:
"Ghost" WOD 88 rep PR
Snatch 10lb PR
"DT" 6:30 PR (using same 75# weight as last time completed)

Stopped or Modified:
Hand Stand Pushups--instead I substitute dumbbell strict press
Push-ups (all from knees)
Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups (banded)

Read about the First Trimester here.
Read about the Third Trimester here.

Crossfit While Pregnant: The First Trimester

2014-12-29T04:00:00.000-08:00

Crossfitting while pregnant has been such an awesome adventure! I've gained so much confidence and trust in my body as my pregnancy progressed. However, if you're reading this post, you might be in the same situation I was in...

I'm pregnant and I Crossfit--now what?!?

3 months pregnant

What's safe for the baby?
What will my doctor think?
How much do I need to modify?

I'm certainly not an expert, but my goal is to share my story and some helpful resources.

My Crossfit coaches were the first people my husband and I told about our pregnancy. We told them at 6 weeks and waited to tell anyone else (including family) until 13 weeks. I felt that they were a part of our healthcare team--just like our OB/GYN--and needed to know in order to help me make good choices in the gym. Fortunately for me, several awesome women have had babies at our gym during the past year, and they set a great example for staying empowered and active throughout the entire nine months.

I was very lucky during my first trimester. I avoided the dreaded morning sickness and fatigue that plague many women. It seems important to say that upfront, because I have friends who used every ounce of energy just to get through the workday during the first tri. In that situation, it seems necessary and obvious to cut yourself some slack and really reduce your expectations in the gym.

My First Trimester Symptoms:

Tons of food aversions! Almost all food sounded very gross, and then all of a sudden feeling ravenously hungry (but still not being able to figure out what to eat.)
Sore boobs! Double unders and burpees were incredibly uncomfortable at times.
Lots of bloating & constipation in the evenings.
Some days feeling very weak in the gym (with "easy" weights feeling challenging.)
Feeling so overheated!
Very thirsty, but also having to pee non-stop.

Burpees! 3 months pregnant

The weird thing about the first trimester is that there's nothing visibly different about you. You look the same and most likely no one at your gym even knows your pregnant. However, on the inside, massive changes are happening. Not only are all your hormones changing, but your body is beginning to produce 50% more blood--which requires a lot of water, electrolytes, and energy. For me, there were good days at the gym where I felt pretty normal and strong...and there were days when I felt weak and frustrated and had a hard time accepting my slow time or weak lifts. My ego wanted to shout out "guess what--I'm pregnant! That's why my time is so bad! That's why I couldn't lift very much." It was hard to turn off that competitive spirit that many of us Crossfitters possess.

What Did I Modify in the Gym?

The biggest modification I made was to my attitude. I tried to just be proud of myself for showing up 4-5 times per week and feel less attached to the score next to my name. I also stopped doing sit-ups after about 8 weeks. I became an unashamed fan hog. I took more frequent rest to catch my breath and drink water. I also quit during a WOD for the first and only time...I was feeling slightly dizzy and extremely out of breath. It was so hard on my pride and who knows if it was even necessary, but looking back on it, I'm glad I erred on the side of caution.

What Didn't Change?

I didn't stop pushing myself to whatever my personal best was for the day. Some days my performance looked better than others--but each time it was my best effort. I PR'ed my front squat, back squat, and weighted pull-ups before I knew I was pregnant. Then I PR'ed my clean & jerk and my split jerk during my first trimester, knowing I was pregnant. I felt great those days and so I went for it. I continued doing all movements (except sit-ups.)

Resources:

The least helpful resource was my doctor. She was clueless about Crossfit. I think very few doctors will enthusiastically endorse any "high intensity" exercise during pregnancy. I read things on the internet about certain heart rate thresholds or the "talk test." I cannot hold a regular conversation during the warm-up jog at Crossfit, so being able to keep a normal conversation as an indicator of how much exercise is okay just seemed laughable. Here are a few sites that I found truly helpful:

BirthFit: I highly recommend BirthFit because I find it to be the most empowering and least conservative advice for pregnant Crossfitters. Follow them on Facebook and Instagram and you'll enjoy seeing photos & videos every day of pregnant Crossfitters hitting PR's and staying active.

Crossfit Mom : I like Crossfit Mom as a resource, but find it to be very conservative. I'm now almost 31 weeks pregnant and haven't implemented very many of the modifications she suggests. If you or your spouse or your doctor are very concerned about doing Crossfit while pregnant, you can follow her suggested modifications to really be on the "safe side."

Crossfit Redondo Pregnancy Stories: These are some of the women at my gym that inspired me. I think reading stories and seeing examples of other women helps give a sense of confidence during a time when the pregnancy still feels new and overwhelming. More and more women are writing blogs about their Crossfit journey while pregnant. My own personal bias is to try and only read positive stories, especially during the first tri. Your mind will naturally worry about how your baby is growing and developing. Even one random comment or post on the internet that's negative or fear-based can linger in your mind and make you second guess yourself.

The first trimester goes by quickly in the grand scheme of things. Try to stay as active and healthy as possible. Even if it's a struggle to get to the gym, you'll find you have more energy later on because you went. Trust your body. Your body knows how to grow your baby. Your body also knows how to do Crossfit. In fact, you were doing Crossfit while pregnant for 3-4 weeks before you even knew you were growing a baby. Let that thought comfort you. Your body knows what it's doing. Just try to listen to your body and make any small adjustments that give you peace of mind or comfort, while staying active.

Much love to you and your growing babe!

Second Trimester Experience
Third Trimester Experience

21 Weeks

2014-10-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

How far along are you? 21 weeks and 2 days

Cravings: I haven't really had any specific cravings. I'm slightly more interested in carbs than normal, and sadly my sweet tooth has returned. It was completely gone in my first trimester and I was hoping by some miracle that I would be permanently cured. But alas, it turns out I do still enjoy sugar.

Weight Gain: roughly 9-10 lbs

Comments:

"Today I spent the majority of the day thinking about having to pee, trying to find bathrooms, and going pee." -me

"A great drinking game would be to take a shot every time "c-section" is mentioned on this maternity tour." -Jeff

"I think it's a boy"- Everyone

Favorite moment this week: Far and away the best moment was Jeff getting to feel the baby kick for the first time. Not once, but twice! It felt like such a special gift and I immediately burst into tears.

General mood: Great! I have energy, I feel good, and people are finally starting to acknowledge that I have a baby bump...so I'm pretty excited about that.

Sleep: Easy peasy. I love sleep and I have a heavenly sleep mask that makes the experience that much better. I've been listening to my Hypnobabies CD's in bed and I easily drift into hypnotic amnesia (that's what they call it...but it sure feels a lot like sleep.)

Things I was surprised by: My balance is the teeniest bit off at times. I totally bit the dust while doing a warm up jog at Crossfit. It was surprising, embarrassing, and scary. Fortunately, my mommy instinct was to avoid any belly contact and just slide across the concrete on my shoulder, hip, and knee instead. It's all good though...nothing a little Neosporin can't treat.

Things I am most looking forward to: Our ultrasound tomorrow morning! I cannot wait to see this little nugget again and find out the gender!

What I think is really cool and crazy: Feeling so much baby movement, and now expecting some kicks around 8:30 every night.

Food Aversions: Oh man, I had soooo many of these in my first trimester. Thankfully, I haven't had any food aversions lately.

Maternity Clothes: The top I'm wearing in the first photo is a maternity top I picked up from Ross for $6.99. It has buttons down the back. Love it! I don't really need maternity clothes at this point, but I do need my BellyBand or a hair tie to fasten my pre-preggo jeans.

Gender: Finding out tomorrow!

The Big News

2014-10-13T04:00:00.000-07:00

What could possibly cause these reactions???

Jeff's mom & aunts

my mom & dad

Well, our parents finally got video-tours of our new house with all our completed renovations. They especially enjoyed seeing our plans for the final bedroom of the tour, with a sign that read:

Future Nursery, Coming March 2015

We are so excited to be adding a little kiddo to our family. It makes it even more awesome that two of my good friends are preggo right now too. One of those hot mamas happens to be my blogger BFF, Lindsay, from Trial by Sapphire. I've been telling Linds for over a year that we need to have babies at the same time. And what do you know?! Without planning it, and despite trying at different times, we are only one week apart. Meant.To.Be.

18 week selfie, finally showing a little bump

I'll be 20 weeks (five freakin' months!) tomorrow. I feel great and am excited to start showing a bit more. Love this little nugget so much already :)

Why I Competed in the Crossfit Open {And Why You Should Too!}

2014-10-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

The Crossfit Open is the first and only Crossfit competition I've ever done. It's a worldwide event that takes place in Feb/Mar every year. A workout gets announced every week for five weeks, you complete the workout at your own gym with a judge watching you and keeping score, then you submit your scores online. You get ranked against all other athletes worldwide.

So Why Compete?

I competed mainly because of the amazing camaraderie of my gym. We did the workouts each Saturday and made it into a really fun atmosphere.
What I learned in the process is what an incredible opportunity it is to stretch yourself and test the bounds of your fitness in a safe environment.

Every single person in our gym hit PR's, completed a movement they've never done before, and pushed themselves beyond their perceived limitations.

Power snatching for workout 14.1

Double Under jump roping for workout 14.1

Excuses Not to Compete:

I cannot lift the weights required.
I cannot do some of the movements.
I'm not where I want to be--I'll wait until next year.

Here's the thing--you never know. You don't know what the workouts will be when you sign up. I thought for sure there would be at least one workout where I wouldn't be able to handle the weights, but there weren't. If there's a movement you cannot do, the Open is a perfect time to try. I had never done Chest to Bar Pullups before. I did eighteen in workout 14.2...surprised the heck out of me. We had members PR their first overhead squat of 65# (or 95# for men.) In one workout, I did fourteen deadlifts at 185#, even though my one rep max is only 200#. It's the best feeling in the world to have people cheering you on, and to use that energy to do something you didn't think you could.

As for waiting until next year...again, you never know. One of our best female athletes couldn't compete this year because of a non-injury health issue. I won't be able to compete next year because I'm due to have a baby at the beginning of March. I had no clue when I signed up this year, that I would be pregnant next year...so the point is, don't wait for the "perfect" opportunity. It may never come. Just sign up and have fun.

in the background, doing chest to bar pullups for workout 14.2 (the woman in the foreground PR'ed her OH squat)

Doing overhead squats in workout 14.2

I don't have any photos of me doing this workout

No photos of this workout either...even though I was crazy enough to do it twice. I got one of the Top 3 Female scores in our gym (and again was completely surprised by my performance.)

burpees over the bar (a movement belonging in special circles of hell)

I think my final ranking after the five workouts was something like #1,500 for females in my age division. Whatever it was, I was really happy. It's funny because the rank was so bad, but I performed so much better than I anticipated. Even though I went into it with trepidation and some feelings of inadequacy, I completed the competition feeling proud of myself and so thankful that I did it.

Every person in my gym, regardless of fitness level or age had the same reaction after the Open. For that reason, I really encourage you to compete. I'd been doing Crossfit for just shy of a year when the Open started, as a point of reference. So the only exception I'll make to my statements if that if you're brand new (less than 6 months Crossfitting), then I can understand wanting to wait a year. But of course, it all depends on your level of fitness {and how adventurous you are!}

Redefining Beauty

2013-11-18T04:30:00.000-08:00

"TBH I think you look much better and more feminine and curvey in the first pic at 145LBS,

Your boobs are all but gone and your body looks quite boyish."

-Anne Duffy, noreply@blogger.com,

commenting on this post

Well, Anne Duffy, you get two prizes. One for leaving the first negative comment I've ever received, and another for being clairvoyant. How did you know I had a post brewing about redefining beauty? Thoughts kept floating around inside my head, asking me to write them down...to explore my changing body...how I felt about it, and the reaction of others. If you thought I looked boyish before, how do you like this picture?

When I started Crossfit, here's what I thought would happen: I'd slowly lose weight, I'd slowly gain muscle tone, and I would eventually reach a point where my body looked it's best.

Never in a million years did I expect to lose weight so quickly.
Never in a million years did I think I would gain muscle so rapidly.
Never, ever, ever did I think my boobs would shrink to the point where I bought smaller bra sizes...twice!
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would like working out, and want to do it for its own sake.

Like most people, I started exercising for vanity's sake. I got the surprise of my life when I learned that I actually really enjoyed working out. Growing up, I always avoided running and anything else that felt like strenuous exercise. I'd see my friends running half marathons, or doing pilates, or joining a beach boot camp, and I thought they had some gene that I was missing. "Good for them," I thought, "but that sounds like torture." Turns out, I just hadn't found the right form of exercise for me. Now some of the most enjoyable hours of my week are spent at the Crossfit gym.

I like feeling strong.
I like having more energy.
I like the mood boosting effects of exercise.
I like having a community focused around healthy eating & activity.

But when I look at the picture above, do I think "wow, she's beautiful."
No, I don't. But I want to.

Truth be told, my body now more closely resembles the bodies of a few girls at the gym that I silently judged when I started Crossfit. I thought to myself "they look too manly," "their muscles are too big," "their boobs are too small," "I bet their husbands don't like the way they look." I'm not proud of being such a shallow, judgmental person, but I do want to be honest about it. I think part of me was simply jealous that they were in great shape and could do things that I couldn't. My defense mechanism was to tell myself that it didn't matter because I wouldn't want to look like them anyway.

You see, as women, we are trained very early on to have a very limited definition of beauty. There are some definite constraints that look something like this.

Not only do we struggle to accept our own bodies, but others like to comment on {and silently judge} our bodies as well.
My husband has made comments like "don't get too strong," and "where'd your boobs go?! (Haha!)

I've heard that I'm....
"too skinny,"
"thin...not skinny, but thin" {is that a compliment? I'm unclear.}
"looking awesome"

and everything in between. I think when it comes to body image, people subconsciously project on you. They project their insecurities, or desires, or hang-ups, or opinions. It's been an interesting observation, and I'm learning not to take these comments so personally, whether they be good or bad.

My biggest learning {so far} in this process, is that we are all doing the best we can with what we have. I really believe this to be true. Strength and fitness and weight loss looks different on everyone. Some of the strongest members of my gym don't look very muscular. Some of the people with the best speed and conditioning, aren't as strong. My ass disappeared as I lost weight...then I remembered...I never had an ass! Seriously, growing up I never did. The only reason I got a {small} one in recent years, was due to weight gain...and it was covered in cellulite. So now my backside is flat again...which is apparently the way God intended it. I'm doing the best I can with the body I was given.

My goal is to look in the mirror and be happy and content with what I see. I think it's a conscious choice, and some days I'm more successful than others. I want to keep doing the things that make me feel good. I want to be proud of the outward result of my hard work. I want to redefine beauty for myself.

Fitness Before and After: 8 Months of Crossfit

2013-10-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

I'm 8 months and 105 classes into my Crossfit journey. The first four months were characterized by rapid weight loss, noticeable muscle gain & definition, and establishing many personal records (PR's.) My second four months have brought more subtle changes. I don't think my body has changed nearly as dramatically, and while I'm still smashing PR's, I can see that I'm starting to find my true max weights for each lift. To me, this second eight months has been more about an overall increase in fitness, and accomplishing some larger goals.

Before I elaborate, if you missed my posts about starting this fitness journey, and my results after 4 months, you can find them here:

Why I decided to get in shape
My results after 4 months of Crossfit

So let's start with the most exciting stuff first....

I can finally do a pull-up!!! You'll remember from this post that I'd been feverishly working toward this goal.

I used to have to do pull-ups using a band, like this:

after seeing this picture, I promptly stopped working out in t-shirts. Goodbye pit stains, hello tank tops.

Now I can do a few strict pull-ups without bands.

I don't have any "real" pull-up pictures from the gym...
so use your imagination :)

My second exciting accomplishment is the progress I've made doing double unders (jump rope where the rope passes under your feet twice in a single jump.) I made a fancy video for you.

And because it can be difficult to see what's going on, my husband also filmed it in slow motion {how cool!}

Not long ago, I could only do about 5 in a row. Between practicing and getting some good advice from a Crossfit Los Cabos coach, I've had a breakthrough and my new PR is 30 double unders, unbroken.

Other PR's
Back squat: 135lbs (from May 24)
Bench press: 95 lbs (from Sept 21)
Clean: 95 lbs (from June 10)
Deadlift: 180 lbs (from Aug 19)
Front Squat: 105 lbs (from Jul 23)
Snatch: 65 lbs (from Oct 4)
Split Jerk: 95 lbs (from Sep 18)
Thruster: 100 lbs (from Sept 3)

**we do variations of these lifts, as well as others...but this a good representation.
also, we don't always lift for a 1-rep max, which is why some of the PR's are pretty old.

Lastly, here's how I look in a side by side comparison.

I think my 4 month and 8 month pics look nearly identical.
So perhaps I should stop doing side-by-sides until I have a six pack..haha!

I feel awesome and, more importantly, I really love it! I have fun working out and enjoy the variety of workouts that each day brings. Also, our gym does fun challenges like this month's "No Bread Challenge" to promote healthier eating.

I look forward to sharing my progress in another four months.

Day 1 of our 3,000 burpee challenge. I did 100 burpees per day for the month of August!

Do you have any Crossfit questions?
Is there anything you'd like me to share?

Review: Rainbow Flip-flops

2013-09-17T04:30:00.000-07:00

My feet are in love,
with Rainbow Sandals.

The love affair got off to a rocky start though, so take this review as a word to the wise.

I'd heard great things about Rainbows from friends,
and I wanted to get some new flip flops that offered better arch support.
So I went with the "Women's Premium Leather Narrow Strap Double Layer"in Sierra Brown.
The double layer part is key, if you want to extra cushion and arch support.

double layer = double awesome

The thing you really need to know about Rainbows is that they will be the most uncomfortable sandal you've ever owned for the first 2-3 weeks of wear. There will be no warning about this on any of the packaging, but apparently it's common knowledge amongst the old pros.

Here's the deal: I don't have sausage feet. But the straps of my Rainbows cut into the tops of my feet so badly that it looked like I did. This went on for three freakin' weeks! I had to wear them in short spurts because it was painful and it looked pretty silly too. This is not a matter of sizing, as I went into a store and tried sizes that were too long for my feet, and they still cut into the tops.

I'm writing this review because I want you to know that it's a labor of love. Once you finally break them in, you'll never want to take them off. I'll probably be wearing this same pair for the next five years, so in the grand scheme of things, it's all good. But in the beginning? I was ready to take them back. When I bought my Ugg boots, every single salesperson said that you have to buy them a half size small and then they stretch with wear. Why Rainbows don't come with a similar warning, I haven't a clue.

But trust my minty toes and happy feet that these sandals rock :)

Sadly, I was not compensated in any way to write this review.

The opinions are all my own.

C'mon Rainbow--hook a sister up.

Crossfit Goal: The Pull-Up

2013-09-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

Why are pull-ups so hard?

I mean, yes, you are lifting your entire body weight with just your arms...but still!

I'm getting close to 8-months of Crossfit, and I still cannot do an unassisted pullup.

Eight months.

We do pull ups all the freakin' time at Crossfit, but I always have to use a band to help.

And while I've certainly gained a ton of strength and range of motion, I didn't feel like I was making enough progress on pullups.

So I bought the fancy doorway pull-up bar for our house.

It's pretty much the latest household fashion trend.

I also found a website called:
Pullups for Total Beginners.
Naturally, this sounded like a terrific place to start.

So for the past month or so, I've basically been following his routine.
Okay, not to the letter of the law, but only because I'm also doing Crossfit classes,
and sometimes I just like to do things my way.

I'm getting so, so close to being able to do an unassisted pullup.
Right now, I can do a strict pullup with just an orange band (15 pounds of resistance.)
That means I'm lifting about 120lbs of my own body weight, and just have another 15 to go.
So close!
I think within a couple of weeks, I'll have it, and will be excited to share the good news with y'all.
In the meantime, think good thoughts for me!

What are your fitness goals?