Emotional? Maybe...

Rorschach Test

2012-07-30T04:33:00.000-07:00

Do me a favor after you wake
Let everything we've been through together just settle in
All of this is deeply unfortunate
We could just end up repeating everything in the end
A worse possibility is that we're already too late

Turning fragmented words into paragraphs
My mind is too much like a Rorschach blot
I'm much too good at turning my back and running away
There you were knowing each and every coded thought
I can still feel you holding me up before I can sway

"Wrong"

2011-12-15T17:00:00.000-08:00

What is my problem?
Why do I keep letting you in?

Deep inside me, where its only dim
You are my incarnation of all sin.

I may not ever understand why I myself care...
All you do is bring me oceans of ceasless pain.

I won't ever know why I dare,
Because there is NOTHING to gain.

I never talked back...
I don't deserve you, at all.

I still wonder what I lack
I still wonder what keeps letting me fall

Into sin.

Original Posted Date: Saturday November 19, 2011

"Erase the Blue"

2011-12-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

I want someone to erase the blue
I want someone to make it all come true

I pray every night
I just want someone to hold me tight

I want someone to love
I want someone to dream of

Please God, let this be you
Don't make me suffer through

I'm begging to see the light
I want this to all be right

I wake up thinking of you
God, I want this to all come true

I can't be alone any more
Please, please don't walk out the door

I'm falling so fast
I want this to last

I have finally dared
I don't think I'm scared

I don't want to be hurt
Don't let me wind up face down in the dirt

I want someone to erase the blue
I need someone to make all of this come true
Please, just let this be you

Original Posted Date: Wednesday September 07, 2011

"You Make Me..."

2011-12-15T16:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you make me...
Feel stupid
Feel small
Feel unwanted.

Sometimes you act like...
You don't care
You don't want to care
You want something else.

Sometimes I feel like...
I'm unloved
I'm confused

I'm alone in this.

Then you make feel...
Like I'm perfect
Like I'm wanted
Like I'm everything.

Original Posted Date: Wednesday September 07, 2011

***The painting is NOT my work***

"Good Enough"

2011-12-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm no Barbie
I'm not perfect
I'm not blonde
I'm not a stick figure
I'm not going to become what you want.

I am imperfect
I am a brunette
I am the definition of 'curvy'
I am what I am
I will stay this way until someone loves it.

I have flat brown eyes
And fly away stray hairs that never stay in place.
I don't wear make up
I wear lip balm.
I don't like hip huggers
I love my sneakers
And I hate heels.
I don't get my nails done
But, I don't bite them like most girls do.
I have bags under my eyes from worry and stress
I have love handles
And my calves are thick

I have ten fingers
I have ten toes
I have two eyes
And no spare body parts
My mother thought I was perfect that way.

Why isn't that good enough for you?

Original Posted Date: Wednesday September 07, 2011

***The picture is NOT my work***

"Something Better"

2011-12-15T16:38:00.000-08:00

Loves feels like...

The softest flower petal
The hardest rock
The smoothest paper
The roughest gravel

Love feels like...

A bird taking flight
Catching your breath
The wind on your face
A familiar place

Love is...

Open and blind
Conflicting and decided
Bold and shy
Confusing and direct

Love is...

Here and no where
Now and later
Today and tomorrow
Sour and sweet

Love is something that people think they have, and feel everyday.
Until something better comes their way.

Original Posted Date: Wednesday September 07, 2011

***The picture is NOT my work***

"Maybe"

2011-12-15T16:28:00.000-08:00

I can't tell if I'm falling for you, or if I am just being stupid.
I get nervous when you call.

I run out of things to say when you upset me...
I cried when I thought you were mad at me

I smiled when you called me Kitten.
I worry when you worry,
I stress when you're stressed.
When you say something is wrong with you
I want to make whatever it is
go away.

Maybe I'm just another stupid teenager
Who doesn't know what she wants.
Maybe this will just be another mistake
Because I fall so easy,
I fell for you so much easier.
Maybe I'm setting myself up for disaster,
Maybe I'll freak out in front of you and you won't want me anymore. Maybe I'll have a panic attack and flashbacks
Of things I care never to see again.
Maybe you'll see what I try so hard to hide away
From anyone who looks at me.
Maybe you'll see the hand prints on my body,
The grey hairs from unneeded stress.

Maybe you'll see me.

Maybe I'll get lucky...
And you'll be blind to the small things that add up so quick.
Maybe you'll look past everything bad about me
And see the parts of me that no one ever looked hard enough to see.

Maybe you'll love me.

Original Posted Date: Wednesday September 07, 2011

***The painting is NOT my work***