SPED, IDEA, IEP, BIP, FBA……. Sometimes all the acronyms run together and it can be difficult to know what is what!

When we advocate for our kids, knowing some of the basics about IEPs and 504s can help navigate a complicated system and think about what kind of support is available. Truth be told – not every child with a disability qualifies for Special Education. But, for many, a 504 might be a great step!

As you begin to communicate with school staff, ask what kinds of academic and behavioral supports are available for all students.

A few things to keep in mind…

-Special Education laws apply to public schools – State laws around charter schools vary widely, and private schools are not obligated to offer Special Education. However, many charter and private schools do have some supports available for students – ask what they offer!

-The benefit of IEPs and 504s are the legally binding nature of them – they hold everyone accountable. AND, they’re created in close collaboration with parents. If someone is creating an IEP or a 504 that you don’t understand or agree with, SPEAK UP and ask questions. You are your child’s best advocate!

-Remember, many schools, special education teachers, and other administrators are doing their very best to meet the MANY complex needs of their students. Advocate strongly, with LOTS of compassion and understanding for the professionals involved!

Ask questions, be persistent, and hold on to hope-

Becca McKay, LMSW, LSSW, Program Manager ETC Institute

IEP/504 Tip Sheet

The post From the Educator’s Desk: IEP vs 504 – Which Does My Child Need? appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

It’s that time of year! You can feel the back to school buzz, whether you’ve been back for a few days, are preparing for that first day, or are soaking up those last few drops of summer.

I spent 6 years as an educator, primarily as a school social worker, and worked with hundreds of students over the years. As much as parents anxiously prepare for those first days of school, know that educators on the other side have many of those same feelings!

One part of my former job that I’m proudest of was finding ways to partner with parents. It wasn’t always easy for parents to trust me, and it wasn’t always easy for us to find ways to communicate, but I LOVED those moments when we could walk shoulder to shoulder for the good of my student, their babies. 

As parents, you may want to help build a bridge to partner with your school community, but it can be hard to know where to start! 

Over the upcoming blog entries called “From the Educators Desk”, we here at ETC will share some thoughts and ideas to support all types of students, but it will be especially helpful for those who have IEPs, 504s, are neurodiverse or need extra support at school as a result of experiencing stress or adversity. 

First things first…

Most teachers are overwhelmed, overworked, and undervalued. I will shout this from the rooftops any time I get a chance: THANK YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER! As a parent, you are holding all of your child’s potential in your mind, and their teacher is holding that plus another 20-30-ish childrens’ at the same time! Thank them from the beginning of the year and continue that throughout the year, as they support so many families with so many different needs!

Next, a few ideas to build a bridge of connection and open up communication…

Be honest and upfront about your child’s challenges, especially those you’ve seen in other environments. Many parents are concerned about their child being over-labeled from the beginning, so they withhold important information about diagnosis, medication, academic struggles, etc. When parents are upfront and honest with educators, it opens up the chance to work collaboratively on behalf of the child, rather than being surprised and reactionary when challenges arise.

Be open to feedback. Listen to your school’s ideas and strategies that they bring to the table. After watching your child in a social and academic setting, they may have new insight and ideas. 

That said, balance that out by being your child’s advocate! You are the expert of your family, and you must advocate for your child’s needs!

Here’s a few free downloadable resources to encourage positive communication with your child’s school!

All About me

Dear Educator

Comment and let us know other ways you have found helpful in building the bridge of collaboration and communication with your child’s team!

Hope you have a wonderful connected year,

Becca McKay, LMSW, LSSW ; Program Manager ETC Institute

The post From the Educator’s Desk: Back to School for Parents appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

Regulation develops first through external regulation – all of our needs are met by an outside person.

Over time, we then move into a period of time (newsflash: it’s a long period of time!) of co-regulation. Think about those moments when someone else was able to support you in getting back to a balanced state.

Then, over time, we internalize that regulation and we develop self-regulation.

Regulation isn’t a one time occurrence! Our ability to regulate, or find our balance, is developed throughout our lifetime when we experience co-regulation with someone else. Simply teaching regulation strategies would be like reading a book on yoga, then never actually getting into downward dog position. Or, it would be like reading a book about exercise without every leaving the couch! Or, like searching for healthy recipes while eating fast food. Simply teaching regulation strategies to our children (or ourselves!) isn’t enough. Co-regulation has to be experienced in relationships in order for us to develop the ability to manage stressors and face challenges.

The post SELF-REGULATION appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

What seems to us like a fun Saturday or summer day stretched out before them like a glorious blank canvas can instead feel frightening and uncertain… Will they get anything to eat today? When, and how often? Will safe people take care of them all day long? How? What will be required of them and how will that feel? 

Routines allow kids to lower this high state of vigilance and self-sustaining survival and instead rest in the clear communication that their needs will be met. Here are some ideas to try:

• Establish daily routines that happen the same way every day (ie: in the morning or at bedtime)–if you’re just getting started, you could make a list or even make a booklet with your child using drawings or photos.
• Consider ways to communicate what and when food will be available to your child during the day. Visual reminders they can reference throughout the day are especially helpful.
• How predictable or unpredictable is your day/week? Prepare your child in advance for what their day will look like by talking it through or showing visuals.
• Before you participate in an activity with a child (cleaning the house, going to the park, visiting the doctor, watching TV), talk about what it will be like and what’s coming next. If participating in or ending the activity is unpleasant, try introducing a ritual that the child can look forward to. (Examples: listening to favorite songs every time you clean, getting a piece of bubblegum to chew whenever you leave the park, watching a favorite video on a caregiver’s phone when waiting in the dr office or getting a shot, every time it’s time to turn off the TV you do a special and unique high-4 or handshake)

If you hate being “tied down” to mundane routines and strict schedules, feel free to rebrand this concept by creatively finding ways to raise the level of predictability in your home. Even the most original and improvised music has a rhythm driving it–provide the rhythm in your home, and your child will eventually feel safe enough to dance along.

– ETC Trainer Jesse Faris

The post Providing Routines appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

*This piece was written in December 2017 as a compilation piece by the staff of Memphis Family Connection Center.

As we look ahead to the holidays, many expectations may come to our minds. We could be expecting great family reunions filled with love and laughter. We might be dreaming of our favorite foods and have our hopes set on a picture perfect moment gathered around the table. Whether it is music, decorations, or traditions, most of us enter into holiday seasons with joyful expectations.  

For some of us, holidays are more nuanced. They can bring up reminders of family and friends who are no longer with us, as a result of a recent change or one from the past. We might be missing people or traditions because of loss, distance, or time. Family dynamics that might not be at the forefront the other fifty-one weeks of the year are suddenly brought to light.

For some, the mixture of emotions that comes with the convergence of expectations and reality can make this time of the year anything but simple. As adults, we can learn to cope with the bittersweet feelings as our close friends, family, and community support us. We can learn to navigate both excitement and disappointment, both joy and grief, both laughter and tears. 

But what about our children? 

Enter in – “childlike wonder.” Whatever our expectations for ourselves, we often expect excitement, joy, and laughter from and for our children. Visions of family game time, cookies, hot chocolate, music, and story time may come to mind. While holidays can absolutely be filled with laughter and sweet moments together, sometimes our expectations are blown away by our realities. If, during this season, you sense this stress – you are not alone. What would it look like to thoughtfully prepare for disappointment, grief, or tears?  

Excitement and stress have similar physical effects, and our children may experience emotional meltdowns as reality hits. Children thrive with routine and structure, and holidays by definition are a “break from the norm.” Travel, changes in schedule, and being around more people more often are just a few potential stressors.  Managing expectations (and the expectations of little ones) is no small feat, and we have a few ideas that we’ve found to be helpful.

 Expectations:

• Be FLEXIBLE!
• Manage your expectations before they manage you. If your child can’t sit through the silent Christmas service or large family dinner, be understanding. Prepare a backup plan. 
• Expect big emotions and be prepared to support your child as they manage these emotions.
• Leave margin in your schedule to support your children as they are navigating their expectations and stress.
• Prepare your family members for the possibility that your children might have strong emotions or unexpected reactions to the stress of the season. This will help them gauge their expectations as well. 
• Remember that unmet expectations typically equal disappointment and/or frustration.

Keep it Structured and Simple:

• Create a holiday schedule while attempting to stay close to food and bedtime routines.
• Build holiday traditions. These are are an important part of creating a healthy family culture. Find a few that you can begin that are enjoyable for your children and can be done as they get older. If you have children in your home who are experiencing their first holiday with you, attempt to incorporate traditions from their past. 
• Simplify whenever possible.
• Avoid over hyping experiences and keep it calm.
• Beware of sensory overload.
• Remember to meet basic physical needs such as nutrition, hydration, sensory needs, and sleep. A quick snack and remembering to hydrate every 2 hours can prevent blood sugar drops.  Adequate sleep may be hard to come by, so be mindful that sleepy and hungry children are not “bad” children, they are simply sleepy and hungry. 

Gifts:

• Your children might not have the reaction you expect to gifts. Allow them to receive and respond the way they need to under that pressure. 
• If you feel they need support on giving appropriate responses then practice a few options before the “big moment.” Something as simple as telling them they can say  “thank you so much” or “I appreciate you thinking of me” even if they don’t love their present from Great Aunt Susie can go along way to help you all avoid an awkward moment. 
• If you have multiple children, keep gifts fair. Try to have the same number of packages for every child to open. 
• If your child has fine motor delays, use gift bags and tissue paper over wrapping paper for ease of opening.
• Remember that disappointment is a strong emotion even for adults. If your child isn’t getting their big wish list item, then the best gift you can offer them is compassion, understanding, and the freedom to be disappointed without shaming them for being ungrateful.

Travel Tips:

• Prepare children in advance of the trip. Read stories or create social stories about traveling and holiday events. 
• Create visual schedules or cues to help manage anxiety with a change in routine
• Create a sensory retreat area or “take a break” spot.
• Create a sensory box filled with some fidgets, weighted items, and creative outlets (coloring materials, play doh).
• Pack a bag of toys for the car with both favorite items and new/novel toys. A few new items from the dollar store can go a long way to help manage travel boredom.
• On a road trip, take movement breaks every few hours. 
• Bring earplugs or noise canceling headphones.
• Offer to bring food you know your child will eat.
• If staying in a hotel, call ahead to request any special needs such as room location, etc. 
• Bring a vinyl cover to place under sheets if your child wets the bed.
• Remember that along with changes in routines, traveling brings new sensations, sights, and smells. Be prepared to help manage disorientation that can come with changes in environment. 

With a bit of preparation and healthy expectations, the holidays can be a great opportunity for family connection! We hope these ideas can support you in preparing your family for the holiday season.

The post ‘Tis the Season! appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

By: Jill Stockburger

Crafting our Days

A few weeks ago, I was talking via Zoom to a young client, her older sister, and their mother. Theirs is a multicultural family coupled with a delightful range of personality. I listened to discoveries they were making on their similarities, differences, and preferred ways of quality time, a few of their mishaps like we are all having, and finally the new habits turned rhythms they hope remain when we ever so slowly emerge from this cocoon state.

Their favorite was “Adventure Baking.” The older sister is precise, detail-oriented, reflective with a respite-form of hospitality; the younger sister is a risk-taker, exuberant, boisterous, and warm. The entire family understands that creativity lies within us all, and its inherent gift for individual expression with connection. This time it started with donuts and has moved to dumplings and on and on. They have returned to a craft with new twists that builds on each of their individual strengths within a structure of shared voice; the older sister’s attention to detail and organization + the younger sister’s adventurous culinary suggestions + their mother’s holding = the intimacy of delicious, sometimes messy, edible goodness and the practice of craft, tangibly and metaphorically.

And, if you can believe it, their craft combines foundational components of speech, occupational, and clinical therapies.

Craftsmanship requires focus, is rewarding and sometimes challenging, and activates the brain and the body at the same time. Craft and handiwork diffuse chemical build-up in the brain maintaining cognitive ability. The repetitive activities involved increases mindfulness further supporting focus, self-regulation with self-soothing, and stimulate the neurological system. It eases the intensity of fearful thoughts and anxiety making craft good for the heart, the head, and the home.

Nobel laureate and neural scientist Gerald Edelman created a theory that further supports the principles of craft in conjunction with our days. Edelman describes how new information is integrated into our brain through perceptual experiences coded in scattered “maps” of complex networks or interconnected neurons. For example, we see one kind of tree and when we see other kinds of trees we recognize their “tree-ness” and so on and so on. These generalizations are not static. They can flex, change and have emotional connotations. These interconnecting and dynamic maps can be enriched and shaped by play, craft and connection setting life-giving rhythms, soul-full road “maps.”

Now more than ever, we have returned to craft, maybe a somewhat sequestered return, but a return nonetheless. As we slowly emerge, I hope it is a question we reflect on as families, groups, and communities. Days and weeks can be messy, full, fast and slow seemingly at the same time, tension-laden, but we can make room for a small space of sustained craft that helps bring an intention to our days. Hindsight is 2020 ; )

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” Mother Theresa

Reset Stones

What would you like to fall away and what would you like to remain?
As you begin to think about the new (big or small) tangible ways of being that have emerged during this unprecedented period, write or draw them on a smooth stone or create a time capsule to revisit, to remember, and to reset for those days in the future when the re-emergence has left us feeling a bit submerged.

Other Examples:

• Sewing has made a comeback with all of this mask making. One family created an assembly line within the family members. Keep the sewing going.
• Recycled materials tinkering. One family allows their younger children to create little worlds out of the recycled materials (a different form of exploration when you are staying at home) while parents catch-up nearby.
• Chore Day: A family gets the music going for an hour or so, sweeping and dancing all at the same time.
• Switcheroo family walks: one family has set 10-minute timers on family walks. Pairs of family members get 10 minutes of one on one time with one another and then they intentionally switch-up.
• Family line-up rotation massages
• Home Repair or fix-it projects have seen an uptick!
• Tea time: One mother-daughter have been exploring teas from different cultures.
• Weekly Family Photo Challenge/ Share (Teenagers!!)

About the author: Jill Stockburger is a counseling intern with Memphis Family Connection Center as she obtains her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling and Expressive Arts Therapy through Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass.
Jill loves to see all the arts modalities of visual art, music, drama, dance, and creative writing integrated with TBRI principles.

The post LOVE CONNECTORS: CRAFTSMANSHIP & RESET STONES appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

By: Jill Stockburger

This week I had the privilege to speak with three photographers living in the
Kakuma Refugee camp in Kenya. These three photographers, two women and one man, from three different ethnic backgrounds were born in Kakuma and now have children of their own. When they were young children, at first they were not allowed to play with one another due to differing ethnic backgrounds. Over time however, their lives and stories became more intertwined and a deeper understanding formed about their lived experiences and differences. Now as adults they lean into their older generations to tell and to remember the roots of their ethnic heritages, places they have never seen but yet feel deep within. They learn from the younger generation through witnessing the playful interactions amongst thirteen diverse nationalities and even more ethnic groups.

These three photographers have discovered play as adults as they collaborate through the art medium of photography, an artistic expression of narrative storytelling. As they explained, although they appreciate those who have tried, no one can tell their stories better than they can full of the dignity, the hurt, the strength, the injustice, the trauma, the culture-making, the tears of joy, anger, sadness, frustration, and tears of laughter, the layers in them and around them, the nuances of their race, ethnicity, gender, and cultural expressions.

As I listen to their stories and share mine, there is a needed expansion within me and a pathway to deeper healing.

“Throughout life, imagination remains a key to emotional resilience and creativity. Deprivation studies demonstrate that fantasizing-imagining the inner life of others and comparing to one’s own-is one of the keys to developing empathy, understanding, and trust of others, as well as personal coping skills.” – Brown and Vaughan

Empowered to Connect seeks to empower individuals to tell their stories through establishing shared voice, respect, and sensitivity to lifelong learning, while fully acknowledging no one can tell your story better than you can. Whose voice is missing within our families, our communities, our cultures?

“Tears remove the dust from your heart.” – Jagadeesh Kumar

“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth”- African proverb

“So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life. From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find your heart. If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God.” – Ken Gire

Story Handkerchief, Scarf, Mask

Ages: Age 5 to Adults

This intervention should be done in a dyadic relationship with another person. It allows us to reframe and expand our view of family, humanity, and connection while strengthening our own intrapersonal skills and shaping interpersonal communication and intimacy. Find a friend or family member with a different racial, ethnic, cultural background than yourself. As you seek to understand the other’s perspective, you will further your self-awareness, learning, and expansion through mutual empowerment.

Supplies: handkerchief, different colored sharpies, rubbing alcohol
*Don’t forget to look for multicultural marker packs. Color is important.

Exercise:

• Using the colored sharpies, draw pictures or write words that tell pieces of your story, all different parts. The opportunity to draw your story provides a space where finding words can be difficult. Often what inhibits our healing from trauma is the inability to find language to express what we’ve encountered. This expression provides voice to the many layers of our experiences, and the intersections of our many identities.

• Afterwards share your story with the other person. Notice any sensations that arise in your body as you listen. Take a deep breath. Stay present. Hold space. Listen. Learn.

• Discuss whether you would like to leave the story handkerchiefs as is or if you would like to move to the next step of releasing the image through a few drops of rubbing alcohol squeezed onto the handkerchief and pressed together among your hands creating a tie-dyed effect, a symbol of tears. This can be an important step. Some might need to hold this phase of grief longer. Respect the space and pace. Fun Fact: Tears release oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals ease physical and emotional pain.

• A further final step upon mutual agreement would be to exchange the handkerchiefs with one another, a tangible reminder of the shared stories and connection. Consider wearing the other person’s artistic story as a scarf or mask (COVID-19 essential )reflecting on their experiences further stretching the beauty of those empathy muscles.

Feel free to run with this exercise in a variety of diverse ages, relationships
and in groups. Listen to the unknown history unfold.

The picture below is a group of children’s story scarves joined together in a quilt from Sunnyside Queens, home of a diverse naturalized immigrant population. The children decided to take their individual stories and their symbolic tears held and transform it into a symbol of comfort. Lament truly takes us to Real Hope.

About the author: Jill Stockburger is a counseling intern with Memphis Family Connection Center as she obtains her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling and Expressive Arts Therapy through Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass.
Jill loves to see all the arts modalities of visual art, music, drama, dance, and creative writing integrated with TBRI principles.

The post LOVE CONNECTORS: STORY SCARVES appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

By: Jill Stockburger

A recent phenomenon began at our house, the youngest of our crew
began a ritual of nervously proclaiming, “I love you, Dad! I love you, Mom!” and needing a hug whenever my husband or I would leave the room, repeating the words and actions several times. With the first few interactions, my heart swelled at this new seemingly form of endearment from of our normally precocious six-year old, but by the next day, it occurred to me that I had missed the need behind the behavior. Within the past six weeks, our youngest has experienced a lot of relational transition as his daily routine, his world, has shifted and an underlying fear had crept in, ‘Could I lose them too?’ There was a rupture in our attunement with him and once we gained awareness, we were able to help name his fears while affirming our relationship through playful engagement.

The dance of attunement and co-regulation is illustrated well by the infant game of peek-a-boo. Within peek-a-boo, there is an established rhythm, one of a connection with the other (eyes opened) and one of a connection with self (eyes closed), developing interpersonal and intrapersonal awareness; healthy inner and outer connections develop. The caregiver is not meant to be in step with the child at all times. In fact, this form of intimacy would be invasive or inhibit growth. Enter D.W. Winnicott’s concept of the ‘good enough mother’.

Winnicott was a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst who observed thousands of caregivers and babies, and he came to realize that babies and children actually develop resilience when their caregivers ‘fail’ them in tolerable ways. In fact, the moments of repair create an expansion within the relationship through deeper connection, increased awareness, healing attachment opportunities, and outward growth through reframing.

“Fear of breakdown is the fear of a breakdown that has already been
experienced.” D.W. Winnicott

In short, don’t fear the breakdown; embrace the breakdown, not perfection. We are all having them within the scope of COVID-19, all of us aged 6, 10, 13, 40, and 41, and we are all stumbling a bit in the dark as new pieces of us emerge during this experience, feisty ones, sad ones, angry ones, pensive ones, glad ones, and tender ones. Be open to unexpected treasure surfacing.

Blind Drawing Family Portraits
Why do I love this exercise? Let me count the ways…

• Blind drawing is the artist’s fastest way of breaking old habits and unlearning lifeless mechanisms in order to really see the thing or person they are looking at, and remember, we are all artists. Each of us creates within our daily routines.

• Blind drawing is the perfect antidote to perfectionism because its first and only step is to let go of any hope of perfection. Anyone can play while learning to laugh with yourself, not at yourself.

“Play creates new neural connections and tests them. It creates a
low-risk format for finding and developing innate skills.” Brown &
Vaughan

• Attunement between child and caregiver begins in the right brain; this is a specialty of the arts too. Creating visual art increases functional connectivity of the brain (right to left brain movement), leading to greater stress resistance, and psychological resilience. One could even call this exercise a playful arts-based version of peek-a-boo.

• In a short amount of time, this exercise brings joyful seeing, fresh eyes of perspective, and whole-brain engagement. With this connectivity, words come, maybe even words to a specific rupture making room for repair, all while practicing the dance of attunement.

The creativity birthed out of arts-based play awakens a felt sense of love within us that reminds, yes, there is an urgency to life, but life is not an emergency. For when we are held, we are free to not take ourselves too seriously understanding the fluid grace of ‘mistakes.’ Holding emotional closeness, is a gift of attunement, co-regulation, and repair.

Ages: 4+

Supplies: Paper and pencil

Exercise:

• Give yourself a set amount of time to draw using a timer depending on ages and attention span (5-15 minutes).
• Sit across from your partner in order for each to be able to see the other.
• Find a point on the paper to begin and set the tip of your pencil down.
• Begin drawing your subject. As you draw, feel free to shift from one subject to the next, but don’t lift your pencil.
• Resist the urge to look at the page.
• When the timer goes off, share your images. I bet you end up with a unique caricature and who doesn’t love a caricature!
• Don’t forget to bring awareness to sensations and feelings that emerge before, during, and after the exercise.

Other options:
Don’t stop with caregiver and child. Feel free to switch up the dyadic
relationships. For example, children might enjoy watching their parents
connect this way or two siblings might enjoy doing it together. At the end, you might even compile all your silly faces in to a fun-loving family portrait.

About the author: Jill Stockburger is a counseling intern with Memphis Family Connection Center as she obtains her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling and Expressive Arts Therapy through Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass.
Jill loves to see all the arts modalities of visual art, music, drama, dance, and creative writing integrated with TBRI principles.

The post LOVE CONNECTORS: Creative Contours appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

By: Jill Stockburger

As of late, a certain fatigue has set in, a fatigue that is a unique side effect to this pandemic and the requirements of social distancing. We miss touch, really miss it!

Yes, there are amazing creative collaborations abounding around us. Yes, we are thankful for how technology is creating pathways to loved ones’ faces and voices. But, as Dr. Curt Thompson recently reminded us in his blog, “Human beings use our bodies, a vis-à-vis our actual words, to communicate upwards to 85-90% of everything we “say.”

The nonverbal cues like eye contact, tone of voice, facial expression, body language, gestures, timing, and intensity of responses are the body’s portion of what it means to “be” with others and ourselves. They help us communicate what we are experiencing. We send and we receive vital, live-giving exchanges to each other and this does not require conscious intention to do so. Our bodies are working independently of our conscious, thinking brain, which enables us to love and be loved, to know and be known, even without the use of words.

Our eyes are overworked, and our bodies are lonely. We miss the connection of touch. However, this new awareness can reawaken us to the gift we might have been taking for granted. We were simply over-looking it in our cognitively over-charged culture, the healing power of touch. And, now that it has our attention, let’s greet our old friend with a playful cognizance that welcomes it for future, quality vs. quantity, simple connection.

Enter movement and dance.

Movement and dance open up playful opportunities for safe touch and help connect us more deeply to our own bodies. Simply breathing in a rhythm and paying attention to those rhythms can change how we move and feel. Doing so reduces stress, eases anxiety, and enhances memory. It also, helps strengthen our fear discrimination which informs our ability to respond appropriately to stress or fear thereby allowing us to respond adaptively and draw on our resources for self-regulation.

Movement and dance increase body awareness and social competence, as well as closeness to others. Moving with others can build empathy, attunement, and connection on a neurobiological level.

In parent-child relationships, breathing, moving, and dancing together encourages attention to self and others. Through these kinds of positive engagements, we can experience both similarity through imitation and difference through individuality, thereby opening new ways of moving and being in the relationship.

Ok, now that we further understand the superpowers of touch, let’s get back to the quality vs. quantity bit. When we discuss the importance of nurture especially during a period of high transition, I often listen to parents or caregivers (myself included) feel overwhelmed at creating a space for nurture, feeling like it has to be a ‘big’ event or questioning how do I ‘fit it in’ getting lost in some perfect, warm fuzzy picture in our minds. Well, touch packs a punch (figuratively, not literally ) facilitating loads of connection with simple actions. It flips the perfection image of nurture on its head bringing it into present moments and daily routines, helping open our hearts to a place of delight, a place of love, a place of being known.

Here are a few options to try:

Mirroring
Tell your child that you are going to play a game of Follow the Leader in a different way, with no words and only movements. Allow your child to begin moving and simply mirror their movements. This child-centered play goes a long way in a short amount of time.

For additional fun try different speeds (regular, super duper slow, and super sonic speed) or play with sizing (regular movements, teeny tiny movements, and over-sized-grandiose movements).

Gait Change

Next time you are on a walk or outdoors, play with your different gaits, try a slow feet in cement walk, a speed walk swishing those arms, skipping, hopping, jumping, a tree walk, a bear crawl. Be creative with what you see around you and create a new gait. You will be amazed with both the attunement, fun, and exercise that occurs together and is
great practice for co-regulation.
Fun fact: Skipping gives you that same cardiovascular effects of running but with more fun.

Story Time with a Physical Twist

Next time you are reading that bedtime story, incorporate movement. It will most certainly make the story come alive in a new way.
For example:

• Physically go on the Bear Hunt by making the noise of different pace footsteps and the bear movements.
• Imitate all the animal movements in Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
• Take on the superhero movements in Even Superheroes Have a Bad Day, a fun way to move through those images of re-dos.
• Older ones, might cast Harry Potter spells. Someone might even end up in a game of Quidditch or throwing up slugs (thankfully, imaginary ).
• Or, a good old-fashioned air guitar challenge with your favorite lyrical story line.

Additional Thought: Next time your child’s “lid is flipped” and yours might be about to flip as well, why not start with movement? Find a position lower than your child with your body open and with small gestures begin mirroring their movements. This will allow for gentle entry into the alignment of mirror neurons and slowly create an emotionally safe holding space to co-regulate.

The post LOVE CONNECTORS: Attunement Through Movement appeared first on Empowered to Connect.

By: Jill Stockburger

Recently a proud uncle shared a moment of sheer delight in his niece captured on video. This beaming and industrious two and a half year old little girl was hard at work or should I say hard at play, stretching her resilience muscles through care taking and problem solving. Neurogenesis was occurring in rapid fire succession as she donned her best “medical” attire from her dress up closet, first soothing and nurturing her doll’s symptoms from “the Corona” tenderly with blankets, gentle movements, and comfort items, and later with protective masks in place, discovering a cure for her patient, and magical ‘fairy juice’ medicine mixed in the doll’s sippy cup.

Some of the great storytellers recognized the profound significance of this little girl’s seemingly small actions. Madeliene L’Engle once wrote, “Our truest response to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write for only in such a response do we find truth… You have to write the book that wants to be written. And, if the book will be too difficult for grow-ups, you write it for children.”

This courageous two and a half year old was rolling up her sleeves and with the truth of healing connection through play, she was wading into the reality of her new normal to care, to create, and to discover what might work

“The genius of play is that, in playing, we create imaginative new cognitive
combinations. And in creating those novel combinations, we find what
works.” Dr. Stuart Brown and Christopher Vaughan

She was making meaning.

And, it is amazing to me how quickly this same meaning-making magic bubbles up when paper lunch bags are placed on a table with a few art supplies.

Personally, as the surge moves through our neighborhoods ushering in the increase of mask-wearing, puppets have put a playful spin to our fears and reminded us of the very real faces that still abide and that we hold so dear remaining just beneath the newest badge of love.

The Power of Puppet Play

Lest we forget Daniel Tiger and the Neighborhood of Make Believe, puppets are just as captivating and re-energizing for adults when we allow ourselves to pause and play.
In fact, Sesame Street, the longest-running children’s show in the United States, jumped on the puppet train long ago for children and adults alike. In 1969, a group was interested in developing an educational television show by delivering lessons the same way companies sold products with short and memorable segments. Originally they meant to have separate puppet segments and live-action scenes; however, tests showed that the humor used attracted the children and the parodies of culture engaged the adults. They further found that engagement spiked for both children and adults when puppets and people were in the scene together providing the ability to deliver all forms of practical messages that resonated within dyadic relationships.

Ages: All ages

Exercise:Lay the paper bag on its smooth side. Keep the bottom flap facing up. Point the opening toward you

Supplies: Paper bags, markers, crayons or colored pencils

Other supply options would be: glue, tissue paper, old magazines for
collage faces, old fabric strips, stickers, etc.

Draw the lips to create the mouth. Draw the upper lip on the flap, along its lower edge. Then draw the lower lip on the body of the bag, where the
edge of the flap meets it.

Draw or add the facial features.

Draw the inside of the mouth. Open the flap. Be careful not to smooth out any creases.

Use the lower three-quarters of the bag to design the puppet’s body.

Create stories with your puppet. Slide your hand into the opening. Curl
your fingers up and under the flap. Extend and curl your fingers to make
your puppet ‘talk.’

Additional Options: Feel free to create a sock puppet instead of a paper bag puppet. Grab a sock and tie a rubber band about two inches down from the tip. Stuff the sock with some form of batting OR use dry beans (a good way to create a weighted lap buddy for those bodies that need an extra dose of sensory love). Then create your face and body using markers or other supplies.

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