Empty Kitchen

Moved to Wix

2018-01-20T14:03:00.002-06:00

The EmptyKitchen blog has moved to wix.

It's a Madhouse!!!

2018-01-13T10:00:00.000-06:00

I enjoy the original Planet of The Apes movies. If you haven’t seen all five go and watch them; I’ll wait for you to get back…Now that you’ve enjoyed all 8 and a half hours of cinematic awesomeness I can get to the point of this entry. When I first watched these movies in the late 90's I thought the predicted primitive condition of mankind was just a 60’s gloom and doom plot twist not a probable prediction of our posterity's plight. I am referring specifically to humans losing loosing the ability to speak. Over generations we became more and more lazy in our speech.

I hadn't given much thought to this until I a word (if it could be called a word) that, sparked in my memory the warning of these movies. I shutter even now when I remember this pivotal moment. The word was “totes”. Sadly it was not in reference to a bag or even the carrying of a load. As you may be painfully aware it is the truncated form the affirmative statement “totally”.

I believe in trying to convey an idea as succinctly as possible. But we need to find a balance between the ease of the speaker saying the words and the mental gymnastics required by the listener to understand what is being spoken. Then there is the lack of procession of language. One need not look hard to find an example; just look at the word "minute". This word is clearly defined as a 60 second period of time but now it can also mean a much longer interval lasting days or even years.

This linguistic renaissance has not only reduced the beautiful complexity of the English language to monosyllabic grunts and cave paintings but has exalted the mundane to epic and transformed the recent past to classic or old school.

Relaunch

2018-01-11T23:30:00.000-06:00

Some recent experiences have brought blogging back to mind. I hope to be posting more regularly again. The contents of my posts will be more varied than in the past so I will use labels to help group certain types of posts together.

Labels:
Draft Vault:
I was surprised when I looked at the drafts I had saved and saw there were 21 posts and some were stated over nine years. Some were almost done others were a single word or thought. I will try to remember what I was thinking at the time but the ones that were just a single word may be lost in the ether.

Inner Sanctum:
The inspiration come from an old radio show. Posts with this label will be me sharing feelings and insights about myself.

Nonsensical:
This is a random grab bag of odd and hopefully entertaining thoughts.

Technology:
I like technology and sometimes I will share information and experiences.

Book Reviews:
Books I have read, or plan on reading, and what I thought about them and what I learned.

Food:
I like to cook and eat and have a preoccupation with food. Now you are forewarned, food will happen.

Religion:
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The thoughts I write are mine and may not be the best or most accurate. Please see lds.org for church doctrine.

March 2016 Newsletter Article

2016-03-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

A stronger faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement is something we can, and should, always strive for. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught that, “in the description of the exquisite suffering of Jesus in his Atonement we are told that Jesus took upon himself the infirmities of all of us in order that, his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities (Alma 7:12). Being sinless himself Jesus could not have suffered for personal sin nor known what such agony is unless he took upon our sins. Not only to redeem us and to save us, but also in order that he might know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities”. This was the ultimate example of bearing one another’s burdens. As our faith increases our love, admiration, and appreciation for Christ will also increase. These feelings, if we allow them, will change us to be more like the Savior. Our capacity to see, succor, and serve our brothers and sisters will be intensified.

February 2016 Newsletter Article

2016-02-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

The topic in the Come, Follow Me curriculum this month is "The Plan of Salvation". The primary focus of the outlines is on learning, living, and sharing the principles of the plan, rather than its mechanics. This focus encourages us to use our agency to make changes rather than following a technical checklist. Joseph Smith said "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves". This is because of the example of our Heavenly Father.

Alma taught his son, Helaman, about how Ammon and the sons of Mosiah had success teaching the Lamanites. He said "…their words brought them unto repentance; that is, they brought them to the knowledge of the Lord their God, and to rejoice in Jesus Christ their Redeemer"(Alma 37:9). They taught the Lamanites about Christ and their Heavenly Father. This knowledge and joy led the Lamanites to repent and become converted. As our knowledge of Heavenly Father and Jesus increase, we find the individual path and plan for our salvation becoming illuminated. Our will reflects God's will, and we begin to see and treat ourselves and others as he does. When this happens, all will be edified and uplifted together.

January 2016 Newsletter Article

2016-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

2016 is going to be a great year for gospel learning and teaching in the Glen Hills Ward! If we are prayerful in making our new year's resolutions I'm sure we will be prompted to set some kind of spiritual goal along with the physical or temporal ones.

There is a feeling of excitement when we have promptings to improve and draw closer to our Father in Heaven. There will also be, shortly after, a thought to put off this change for when the time is just right. "That's a great idea; I'll start that first thing in the morning" or "at the beginning of a new week or month or when I finish with such and such". If we procrastinate the excitement may fade or we may forget the prompting. If we continue as we commenced, we will be blessed.

The Come, Follow Me outlines are available to everyone. Study and discussion about them will help us have spiritual experiences for ourselves and others. As we draw nearer to God, he will draw nearer to us and the Holy Ghost will teach us the truth of all things. We will be able to hear his voice and feel his promptings and be led on a path back to Him.

December 2015 Newsletter Article

2015-12-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

I have been reviewing my experiences studying the New Testament this year.. One that stands out was a class discussion in in Gospel Doctrine class about the healing of a leper in Mark 1:40-42. These few short, yet profound, verses have become beautiful to me. I had read them previously and seen them portrayed in gospel videos, but it was not until reading them silently in class that the Holy Ghost opened my eyes to a deeper meaning. The leper came beseeching and kneeling at the feet of the Savior and said, “If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean”. We are all in pain, unclean, and dying just as this leper. We must come to the Lord being humble, faithful and repentant. Humility comes from an understanding that we cannot cleanse ourselves. The words of the hymn are clear, “He only could unlock the gate of heav’n and let us in” (Hymn 194, There Is a Green Hill Far Away). The word “only” in this line does not mean the He can merely do this for us but He exclusively can open the gate and let us in. We must have faith in His word and His ability and desire to help us. We must repent and become as He would have us be. As we do these things, we will feel the touch of the Master’s hand in our life and He will heal us. As we spend time together this holiday season, I encourage each of us to talk about the spiritual experiences that have happened in the past year.

November 2015 Newsletter Article

2015-11-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Each month I submit a short article my ward (church congregation organized by geographic area based where someone lives) newsletter. I've decided to start posting these on my blog as well. These are my own thoughts and feelings and should not be considered as church doctrine or being endorsed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Each year I pick a scriptural theme for myself. I found the theme for 2016 while preparing a lesson for Elders Quorum in August; Doctrine and Covenants section 123:16 & 17. This scripture describes how in times of storm a large ship benefits from having a helm (the wheel used to steer). An interpretation of this scripture came to mind while I was studying the instructions for the Come, Follow Me youth curriculum. The Church has made many resources available to us on mobile devices and on the internet. These small devices could be looked at as a helm. What type of journey and in what direction are we allowing them to steer us on? Are we on a pleasure cruise of entertainment and social enjoyment, a merchant ship with worldly goods and pursuits, or a voyage back to our heavenly home?

How Dairy They!

2015-04-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

If your milk has an expiration date on your milk is April 1st beware. To prove they have a sense of humor the Food and Drug Administration is staging an April Fool's Day prank. The milk that has an expiration date of April 1st actually expires March 31st... April Fool's!! This public service announcement brought to you by the Non-Dairy Milk Consortium (trusting us won't lead to utter destruction).

Rumor Has It

2015-03-21T18:44:00.002-05:00

I've tried over the years to start rumors about myself. Apparently it's completely unbelievable (or maybe just uninteresting) that I was in a three man Neil Diamond tribute band called the "Solitary Men" or that I was the 1991 Midwest Junior Stratego Champion. The latest rumor was not one that was stated by me. Rumor has it...I tune pianos. After reading several comments about this rumor on Facebook, I have prepared a statement:

Thank you everyone for your kind comments and fond remembrances. I apologize for my delayed response. I have taken much time to ponder. I can remember when I was but a lad [fade to flashback] watching Mary Poppins. The frustration Mr. Banks expressed about sitting down to a piano that was out of tune really struck me. I thought, "That poor man, he could have been happy if only that piano was in tune." In that moment, I heard the call of destiny. Since then, there have been many pianos in my life. However, after much soul searching and inner turmoil, I can heed it's siren song no more. Piano tuning has been a wild ride but it's a younger man's game. I'm going to pursue another great passion of mine--kazoo repair. If there's ever a kazoo that is in need of repair just remember, "Kazoo ya gonna call...Matt Kitchen".

Whoever stated this rumor, would you please let me know how you did it?

The Flavor of Life

2014-11-17T02:30:00.000-06:00

The other day I needed some floss to get some cantaloupe out out of my teeth. I was looking in the cabinet for some floss that was already open and noticed we had two flavors; cinnamon and mint. This gave me occasion to ponder the question, "Why flavor dental floss?"

I can just imagine years ago a conference of the American Dental Association to discuss what could be done to breathe new life in the the dental industry. Many ideas would have been brought to the table. (This may have been when the flex-neck brush, water pic, or tapered head brush were introduced.) These novelties were nice but people were already brushing their teeth.

One of the dentists eventually says, "how can we get people to floss." The response from the bewildered board, "What!? You mean they aren't flossing? Why wouldn't they floss, we always remind them to floss." There was suddenly a eruption of laughter from the hygienists in attendance. But this outburst quickly gave way to an awkward silence when they saw the look of indignation on the faces of the board members. They had apparently forgotten what mouths look like before the hygienists were cleaning and polishing having not examined a mouth since reaching their lofty station...And with that the oddly scenic mental detour is over; back to the original course of the post.

Is flossing so detestable that floss must be flavored? If so why not have more appealing flavors; like...Cheddar cheese, taco, or beef. I know there's nothing that I crave more than re-eating my corn on the cob with a hint of mint. So the next time you're flossing some pesky corn from you teeth think to yourself "I can't believe it's not butter".

Meme

2014-11-10T03:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not one to make memes but this one was asking to be made since I first saw The Avengers...It's taken me a while to get around to posting this.

Yes-vember

2014-10-27T02:30:00.000-05:00

What does it take to start a movement? I would like to start the Yes-vember movement. "No"-vember sounds so negative. I’m proposing that we take this month to say “yes” to a positive action that we may have been putting off or would normally say no to, not merely a looking forward to the end of the month as defined by UrbanDictionary.com. If you like this way of positive thinking, keep it going into Yes-ember (December).

True New Year Resolutions

2014-10-04T23:06:00.000-05:00

The new calendar year isn't too far distant. I specify calendar year because I've begun setting New Year’s resolutions in October. This is the month that I was born, so it is the beginning of my personal year. Really any time is a good time to set goals. Why wait for the beginning of a new day, week, month, or year? We can choose any time to make a change.

There is no better time to start than when we recognize or feel the desire to change. How many times have you really felt excited about making a change and thought to yourself “That’s a great idea, I’ll start on that first thing tomorrow”? Then tomorrow comes and some of the excitement has faded or since it was something new you forgot it because it was outside your normal routine.

It’s alright to wait for a new calendar year to make life improving goals but some have found it helpful to start planning months before the start of a new year and even to start working on achieving them so it is already part of their routine by the time the new year starts. This method also allows for adjustments to be made before the start date.

However and whenever you decide to make changes here are some ideas that may be helpful:

Keep goals positive.
Write goals down and review them regularly.
Rather than just stopping something, replace it with something positive.
Tell others about your goals so they can help keep you motivated and accountable.
Remember that goals can be adjusted after they have been set.
Reward yourself and celebrate successes (no matter how small)

Above all remember the fortune cookie advice to, "Keep your goals away from the trolls".

No Bones About It

2014-09-15T01:00:00.000-05:00

I had an epiphany when I looked down at the pile of discarded bones (sticks) of the corn dogs I had just eaten. If we were to begin to examine taxonomy of frozen foods. Corn dog and popsicles could share a common ancestor because of their similar bone structures. But, the cylindrical frozen treats (ie Otter Pops) would be a completely different class due to their exoskeleton. Just a little something to think about.

Lesson From The Knee-High Man

2012-11-29T01:28:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling rundown. Usually I would describe it as Bilbo Baggins, "like butter spread over too much bread", but that that doesn't feel entirely accurate. I feel that I have worthy goals and I am working to achieve them, but times it seems like the harder I work the further away I get from my desired outcome. I was pondering my situation and feelings and the story of the knee-high man - as told by Diane Goode in American Folk Tales and Songs - came to mind. I'm going to try to not have this entry turn into a Reading Rainbow book report. And I'll mention now that if you haven't read the story there will be some spoilers. The story’s protagonist, the knee-high man, wants to become what he calls "sizeable". Now I am ever so much taller than knee-high so I am not able to commiserate with him in this regard. However I feel I can identify with his desire for self-improvement and the discouragement that can accompany failed attempts. In the story, the knee-high man seeks council from animals that are larger than himself. The advice he receives from the well intentioned animals may have helped them to gain their sizable stature, but does not work for the knee-high man. He does what each animal advises him to do. Each course of action fails to produce the desired effect. And we read of some bodily ache that the attempt has caused and he gets littler and littler. Last of all he seeks council from an owl that asks him why he wants to be sizeable. The knee-high man tells the owl that he wants to be able to see far away and defend himself in a fight. The owl then points out that he could see far away at current stature if he climbed a tree and that he is unlikely, as no one has tried to fight him, for him to need to be able to fight. The owl then concludes by saying that the knee-high man needs not to be bigger in the body but in the brain. The lesson I take from this is that I need to work smarter rather than just working harder. I need to reevaluate my goals to see if some of them need to be a lower priority or are unimportant, then determine if the strategy I am pursuing is working or if I need to consider changing tactics.

But you don't have to take my word for it [buh dum bum].

All I want for Thanksgiving is…

2012-11-22T15:23:00.002-06:00

Every year Christmas gets earlier and earlier, yet another retail conspiracy. This year I saw Christmas goods out before I saw anything for Halloween! Eventually the costumes and pumpkins took their rightful place of prominence in retail stores. But I couldn’t help noticing a certain jolly ol’ elf lurking around in the stores. Once Halloween is over its time to deck the halls right? Wrong my friend that’s what they want you to think. It’s time for one of the most important holidays of the year—Thanksgiving. Before I go on further I want to say that the true reasons for Christmas and Easter certainly offer grounds for celebration. Sadly they are often morphed into a candy-induced "what’s in it for me" fest.

Thanksgiving is a day to be happy, thankful, and content with what we have. We celebrate with our family, whether biological, extended, or those close to us that we consider family. Family is truly something to be thankful for. This gratitude and contentment goes against the grain of retail goals. What they desire is someone who wants what they don’t need or wants an excess of what they already have. By moving their season of buying to overlap with Halloween they are trying to skip this day of gratitude. Retailers have gala sales to celebrate when at last this day is over. Like the end of a period of tyranny they joyously open their doors, often earlier than normal, to welcome back throngs of eager shoppers.

This holiday season let us remember the true reason we have these special occasions and why they are called holidays (Old English hāligdæg meaning holy day).

And if you are a day after Thanksgiving shopper I don't mean to offend; this was an exaggeration.

Capital Question Mark

2012-04-10T06:10:00.002-05:00

Written language is really pretty amazing when you think about it. Different arrangements of line segments, twists, and dots help direct us to form sounds with our mouth that can be understood as speech.

Punctuation is really interesting as well. It follows the same rules visually as the letters we use to form words it makes no sound of it's own (unless you are Victor Borge). In conjunction with grammar, punctuation helps us organize a series of lines and dots we call words into coherent thoughts. Rather than writing that a phrase needs to be said loudly or excitedly we simply put a line above a dot (!) or signify a question with a squiggle above a dot (?).

The rules of punctuation often perplexed me in my English classes. I was taught that the proper way to end a sentence was with one punctuation mark (except for when using quotation marks or parentheses). I dared not ask how then are we to ask a question loudly or with conviction.
As our language becomes increasingly less (interesting oxymoron) vocal I have noticed an increased use of what I call the "capital question mark " (a question mark and an exclamation point adjacent to each other).

The capital question mark can be used in one of two ways; with the exclamation point followed by the question mark or vice versa. I will demonstrate each use with one word "really" If a person was surprised or excited their question would be punctuated as follows "Really?!" Whereas if someone was frustrated it appear as "Really!?" If you find yourself wondering if this entry was really worth the effort I would answer "Wasn't it?!"

The Wisdom of Gump

2012-04-04T06:04:00.002-05:00

Many people take the opening of a new year as an opportunity to resolve to make changes to improve their life. Before the end of the year I was contemplating what I would resolve to change. A lot of people resolve to lose weight. Well I still wear the pants I bought at Ross Dress for Less on Guam 10 years ago (I don't know if that speaks more to me being cheap or my fashion sense).

I'm not aware that I have any particularly unsavory habits. The life altering change I have elected to make is a simple one; Nap more. Yup, two words "nap more". I know that it sounds like I'm resolving to be lazy but that's not the case. I often don't take time to rest. When I take time off from work I usually find myself doing work at home. And when I do rest I find my self laying on my back, thinking of what I need to do next.

The nap more resolution is not merely sleeping more but a way for me to examine things that should be done vs. things that need to be done. Treebeard the Ent had the right idea when he said "don't be hasty" (although he had taken this to an extreme). I am evaluating how I manage time so that things are done in "wisdom and order".

As I was pondering the implications of this resolution, a quote from Forrest Gump came to mind (not the one about existence being akin a rectangular container of sundry roasted cocoa bean confections). Forrest, in talking about his cross country run, says, "When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know...I went." Leave it to Gump to so perfectly capture the essences of my resolution. Do what needs to be done when it needs doing. Keeping this in mind I find myself being busier but feeling more relaxed.

Wait 'Til I Get Going

2012-02-28T04:28:00.002-06:00

When people talk about the ambiguous "they," is it a single group of people being referred to every time or are there different groups of "they"? Do the people that are being referred to refer to themselves as "they" or do they call themselves "we"? Perhaps to avoid confusion when referring to themselves they have a special term that only "they" know. If this is the case wouldn't "they" be that and not "they"? To be completely vague, we are "they" and "they" is us. There's an entry for the grammar police and philosophers to chew on. [Hope you all enjoyed the Princes Bride reference.]

Mostly a Mystery

2012-02-20T04:20:00.003-06:00

I saw some paper that was advertised as being 25% cotton...what is the other 75%? Can you imagine buying other products that only disclosed 25% of their composition? Are the majority of it's components that detestable or unsavory that they must be kept a secret to protect we consumers? This possible cover-up smacks of Soylent Green. I'm not trying say that paper is people but one does wonder what they are hiding. Misdirection in advertising what a product isn't, such as MSG free, can be a danger as well. Think of the implications if a TV dinner begins to be advertised as 100% kitten free. Does this mean that the other dinners may contain kitten? Most tuna is advertised as "dolphin free" we then assume that it is pure tuna but logically this is just stating that what is in the can is most assuredly not dolphin. We should all be a bit more terrified at what they are or are not telling us. Who is they anyway...

Time of Reflection

2012-02-15T04:15:00.001-06:00

I will apologize to those who are expecting a comical blog entry. Don't stop reading though; aspects of this entry have been on my mind for a while. Many of the thoughts herein have entered into my mind at times of great reflective clarity. I do not easily relay things of a personal nature so I will be brief. But I hope that I am able convey the feelings of gratitude that I have for my family. I feel much like Parley P. Pratt did when he wrote of learning the principal of eternal families, from the prophet Joseph Smith (see page 330 of his autobiography).

I could not have been born into a more wonderful family. The more I reflect on growing up with my family, the more I realized how truly blessed I am. My loving parents taught us (my siblings and I) and allowed us to learn. We spent spent time together as a family in recreation as well as work. Among the many things that I gained from this upbringing is a knowledge of and a love for my Father in Heaven.

This love is what fueled my desire to serve as a missionary. After submitting the paperwork I was called to serve in the Micronesia Guam Mission (this included the Republic Palau, Federated States of Micronesia, Northern Marianas Islands, Guam, and the Marshall Islands). I didn't know anyone when I arrived but when I left two years later, I was surprised by how much I loved the people--both those that I served and those with whom I served. I am amazed that when leaving my birth family, I was greeted by another. Even today was I type this, 10 years after first arriving on Guam, the love and gratitude I feel is almost overwhelming. The experiences with my brothers and sisters on the isles of the sea has so profoundly impacted my life that I can't really begin to put them into words.

It would be an understatement if I said that transitioning back into "normal" life after returning home was difficult. I received great comfort and council from my then bishop now father-in-law. The final family I wish to thank is the family into which I married. General Robert E. Lee advised J.B. Hood to “Never marry unless you can do so into a family that will enable your children to feel proud of both sides of the house". I can say without hesitation that in marrying my wonderful wife I have done this. I don't think I could have been more completely welcomed into a family without being born into it. The love they share is a wonderful thing to experience.

The family that my wife and I now enjoy has been directly shaped by these families. I am grateful that these cherished relationships can last through the eternities. Thank you again to these families you are an integral part of the joy I feel in my life.

Ask Mr. Owl

2012-01-27T03:27:00.002-06:00

One day I was contemplating the great questions and mysteries of the universe. You know the kind; if a small town barber shaves everyone in town that doesn't shave themselves who shaves the barber? (I'll wait while you wrap your head around that quandary...) Any way, the question I'm really wanting to address now is how many licks does it take to get the to center of a Tootsie Pop? If you go to the FAQ on Tootsie Roll web site you can read their response to this question. "It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc. Basically, the world may never know."
This so-called answer never sat well with me. As a young man I sat down with a Tootsie Pop determined to do what Tootsie Roll Industries couldn't, or wouldn't. I would lick my way to the center, counting all the way. Looking back with an older, wiser, more analytical mind I realized the follies of this impetuous venture. I was blinded and carried away by the temptation of knowing "what the world may never know". Alas I failed to make any of the necessary preparations regarding the perimeters of the experiment; what constitutes a lick and where is the center? These are just a few of many pieces of the vital data that I neglected to consider before even beginning such an undertaking. After realizing this, I tried to I delude myself by thinking that I was the only one to know of the faults in my experiment. Having tasted the sweetness of this knowledge I could not let it go. I continued in my self deception, even boasting of this knowledge when the topic would come up. All the while knowing that it was incomplete. Eventually what sweetness it once had was replaced by a lingering vile bitterness. It felt hollow like a half victory. The kind that only the runner-up in a hot dog eating contest could even begin to understand.

I put this behind me for "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things" (1 Cor. 13:11). It had been years since I have heard the alluring call of the Tootsie Pop; but I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to take you back to that fateful day. I was one day uninterestedly looking at the candy in the candy bowl at work when I noticed a Tootsie Pop whose wrapper had unfamiliar coloring. Upon lifting it for closer examination I found it to be pomegranate flavored. "That's an interesting flavor choice" I thought to myself as I returned it to the bowl. Then I was struck, as if by a bag of nickles, I again felt the adventurous spirit of the explorers of old being beckoned by forbidden understanding [heroic trumpets and drums]. With patience and planning on my side I could rectify the mistakes of my zealous youth and gain this knowledge, which for so long had eluded me. After a few days of preparation and approximately 45 minutes of licking I can now say that I know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Sorry this entry seems to have taken a strange turn. I had planned for it to be an invitation to scientific collaboration but I kind of got away from me. It's already longer than I would like so I will not posting results at this time. If you would like to post your findings feel free to make a comment and if you do lick to the center of a Tootsie Pop you can print this "Clean Stick Award".

The Incredible Edible Egg

2011-10-05T16:00:00.003-05:00

I was watching a show on PBS about breakfast restaurants. They were asking people why they had picked a particular restaurant as their favorite. One patron said that they picked a particular establishment because they had the best Scotch egg in town. I had never heard of such a thing and I really like eggs. I wondered, almost out loud, "What's a Scotch egg?" Seeming to sense my interest and confusion the TV program began explaining exactly what it is. Basically it's a hard-boiled egg (minus the shell) covered with cooked ground sausage, dipped into an egg bath, breaded, and then fried. Doesn't that sound amazing!? A new quest begins...

A few days passed and I was taking a QuikTrip customer survey. One question listed a few possible new items for the QT rollers and asked if offered how likely it would be for me to purchase them. I was surprised to read that one of the items was a Scotch egg. This prospect was both exciting and distressing. I was excited because that would make finding one very convenient but distressed because I did not want my first Scotch egg to come from a gas station. I was sharing my plight with a couple my wife and I were eating dinner with and the wife said that she has had a Scotch egg, and not only has she had one, she knows how to make them as well. She later made some for us and they were delicious (either hot or cold).

Now having seen what they looked like on the show and in person, I wonder how QT is going to have them on the rollers. All the foods on the rollers are cylindrical. How could they make a Scotch egg that would be compatible with the existing rollers in the store? Hot dogs, hamburgers, and even the buffalo wings can be pressed into pretty much any shape. A hard-boiled egg is another story all together. I remember an urban legend about KFC genetically engineering "chickens" to cut labor and cost. Is there a possibility that QT Labs has a sophisticated genetics department? This group of elite scientists would surely be able to complete the assignment to create a chicken that will lay a cylindrical egg. Of course we know that this is pure madness...or is it? What if the hot dogs, hamburgers, and buffalo wings are not pressed into cylinders; but meat from cylindrical live stock?

"Adult" Blog

2011-09-30T12:58:00.002-05:00

I was reading an email the other day and the author mentioned having an "adult" beverage. Does this mean that other beverages would be considered "child" beverages? Take grapes juice for instance. We give it to children; but let it age and ferment and it becomes wine for adults. Since I'm an adult is it implied that any beverage I would drink would also be an "adult" beverage unless otherwise specified? I don't know what they would do to a glass of water to make it for an adult. I'm worried though; what if I don't tell the person taking my order that even though I'm a adult I don't want an "adult" beverage. Maybe they don't assume people are adults unless they are told. Like at the movie theater (or other places that have segregated ticket pricing) I have to tell them that I need an adult ticket. [On a side note; why is it that a child's ticket costs less? Are they going to enjoy the movie less? Maybe they should reduce adult tickets for children's movies.] I'll continue to make sure that I tell the people at the movies that I need an adult ticket and the next time I'm ordering a drink I'll be sure to order an "adult-size child's water" just to be safe.