Encomiums......

A Journey .... continues

2011-02-08T20:09:00.004+05:30

After a really hectic day filled with almost 20 cups of coffee, hating the idea that my wife is not home tonight and with an almost empty stomach, it suddenly dawned on me that i also HAD a blog.....

And guess what, I had to google search my blog and find out the url

Sometimes, life becomes covered with dust, or dead skin... but then what emerges from under is so beautiful that it takes ur breath away

like i said, A Journey in search of life and a tale of experiments.....

The journey continues, I have a partner i love the most, i have aged some, my tummy now pushes against my belt, i have 5 meals in a day, i love beer now, i sometimes smoke, i love music still, i read less, i know what a family is, i know what are the perils of being lonely too long, i totally hate the idea of going home and not finding my kiddie wife there, i still love cooking.....

But i am still the same person, within...

maybe i always will be :)

Hi Blog!!

2009-08-31T21:36:00.001+05:30

How do you feel when you have not used your hands for months. Or, suddenly you got into a closet one fine day and got out after quiet some time. And suddenly when you come out, the world has changed. The people have moved on and things are not the same any more. Things maybe good, or better, but they are not the same.

Sitting in the office today, doing the billings on the month end, i suddenly remembered that I have a blog some where. To my surprise I had totally forgotten where and the URL to it. So after a google search I came to this page and said "Wow!!! Who wrote all this stuff man??" Surely, I know the answer but lets assume, that i do not, for now!!!

So in a nutshell the world has changed. Now you can send E Mails/ Sms to your blog and they will be published. Hmm, how convenient. Well, lets see.

So here I am sending this mail to my blog and let see how it turns out. My fingers are numb but there is so much to say.

Umm

Regards

Rohit :)

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A Reminder...........

2008-10-16T15:17:00.000+05:30

Your Only
obligation in any lifetime
is to be true to yourself.
Being true to anyone else or
anything else is not only
impossible, but the
mark of a fake
messiah.
-------- Richard Bach

The butt of a Bleeding angel.............

2008-08-28T20:53:00.003+05:30

Every Choice, every step every smallest opportunity when u exercise your free will, matters. And it would seem to me that the universe is so good to balance everything out that it kind of remembers where you are at and where have you arrived.

And I have arrived.

From hurt and pain, and remorse and guilt and severed ties, i Have Arrived.

But i am angel who has arrived .....with a bloody ASS.

How? lemme explain.

It would seem that by some electoplasmic siesmic technology my ass is bonded to this universe. The moment you try and take a pick and you CHOOSE, WHAAAAAMMMMMM !!! the whole universe comes down at ya. Ok ! Wise Guy!!!! now you want this huh??? ok.....here is the price. Pay it or leave.

SO i Pay. I pay in kind and i Pay with stuff that was at some level precious to me.So you keep on paying till you have all that you desire? But in all through the process you end up with a bloddy ass.....either it has something to do with getting what you wanted and there is this intengible effect of all that you do.

But i get so paranoid when i begin to write. Its like something snaps in my head and says what they hell man!!!! what is the point of putting down all this bullshit. No one is going to read it anyways.

But then i know i have to do it. Coz there is something inside my head which will chew my insides out, if i do not get this out.

so here is the deal.

If you believe that since i have chosen what i think is the best for me, if i have asked for MY best at this moment and if u feel you got trampled in the process, then you were standing in the wrong way.

This life is MINE. The choices i make are mine. Where i end up is, for me to decide. And in no way or in no time did i sign a deed where i gave anyone the responibility or the right to Choose or Decide for me. That choice is for me to make.

And if when and where i make that choice and u see me walking away, dun pray that i get a bloody ass. This is my first nature, ADVERSITY. This is what i thrive on.

And this IS MY LIFE.

Power on........

2008-01-16T00:16:00.000+05:30

India in its true form and grandeur has finally arrived. The first day I felt this emotion was not through reading a politicised jingle proclaiming “India Shining” or not through some historical mention of India’s greatness, but at the launch of the much awaited “One Lakh “car. I am one of the few fortunate Indians who were present at the event, where as many would like to say, the “wheel was reinvented”. There in that jam packed pavilion, there was no visible sign of Indian flag, or a picture of Mahatma Gandhi portrayed anywhere but “India” was written all over the place.

With the launch of “Nano”, TATA Motors finally made the world to realize the great euphoria of the celebration called “India”. This India has arrived with the cutting edge technology presenting the world, with, not an apology of a car, but with leading edge improvements in cost savings, logistics and a planning inspired not by the entrepreneurial greed to break open a new market segment, but by a desire to solve a common man’s problems. Standing there in that pavilion, you could make out the glow on the people’s faces. The shine of the Audi’s, BMW’s and Volvos’ were way outshined by the average Indian going through “His Country’s own” brand. A brand which has so ubiquitous that it had largely become un noticeable in India. But suddenly TATA Motors catapulted itself to leading edge automobile major from an average Indian company. A man walked up to me that day and told me the words which will outshine the glitter of all the pay checks put together, he said “Thanks! You people have made us proud to be an Indian again”

And with the country largely populated with people in the age group of 20- 30 India has taken an all new shape. I was standing in an office building one day waiting with almost 15-20 “average” Indians waiting for the elevator to arrive. And there in this LCD screen I saw the Reliance Power’s new ad campaign “Power on” and I thought that India is actually powering on now. India is actually roaring to go and surge ahead on the backs of the youth who is now beginning to feel a part of this country again. And I smiled just a bit feeling proud to be a part of the movement which was putting India in a place it truly deserves. And when I took of my eyes from the screen I could sense the same spirit reflected in the faces of men standing with me under those little smiles. Everyone feeling responsible for powering, India on.

It’s actually wonderful to see the kind of commitment and excitement going on all around the country. We are no longer working for the MNC’s rather we are going out and taking those companies over. Transforming dead firms into profit producing units by nothing but that undying diligence so common in the average Indian. The Indian who is comfortable sitting with the britishers in air conditioned board rooms, wearing Gucci business suits and who travels almost with the same comfort and ease in a DTC bus packed with people on his way back home. An Indian who proudly walks into interview rooms filled with corporate executives feeling proud to be what he is.

India has finally arrived.

It’s like a movement an invisible force pushing people on. Like a sudden fountainhead of creativity and youth has sprang up enriching each and every part of the country. Chak de, Rang de basanti, Lead India, Indian MNC’s, Power on.......all being one manifestations of a single united message, “World watch out, India is coming”.

Here i am ..........On the Road AgAiN

2007-11-22T16:24:00.000+05:30

Morning starts with a whiff of soft wind blowing on me cheeks. and i am conccious of nothing but the fact that there is a little pain in my neck. and i crane it a bit and yank it some....side to side and up and then again on one side. CRACK!!!!!! wow that sure sounds and feels good

and all i can feel in that moment is happiness , immense happiness at the start of a new day

but who knows what all this day has to bring to me. how many times will i be told to put a comma in my sentence, or to start it with a CAPITAL

AND NOT TO PUT unNECESSARY spaces between the paragraphs

or maybe told to wait outside for over an hour at a client site only to be told to come back later in the week on a saturday.

or maybe when i am riding a metro some pimply fat assed lady will come along and claim that i have no right to be seated

but then it does not give me a reason not to smile at the end of the day right?

and to smile at the thought of the possibilities that life has to offer and life which is so grand that it brings all new challenges and all new surprises everyday

well its so strange u know.. its like u standing under a tree and u poop ( thats my expression for anything that flows.....dun ask for an explanation.....u will not like it )

anyways u poop down there, under the tree and then u come back to that spot , that same very spot where you were earlier and it will not be the same, in any way

i mean life is like that, u keep running around and then nothing will be the same. but if ur sitting god damn still some one will sneak under ur nose and paint FUCK OFF just when ur having a good time ( thanks Mr. Salinger for that line(

anyways so what i mean here is that i had taken a few pics

which i have posted ahere at the pretence of writing a blog and connecting those pictures in intricate sensse to what i have written here

but i am tired now

you just SEE THE PICTURES HERE

AND YOU DAMN WELL LEAVE SOME GOOD COMMENTS OR YOU WILL ALSO SHUT DOWN WITH YOU PC

and then u will have to hold your tounge out and put one finger on ur butt and press enter to get started again

anyways i know that was a bad ass joke, me sense of humor took a beating ever since i read Joseph Heller

will get better

as such i am not looking for a pulitzer in blogging

see ya

have a nice life

Janis Joplin "Mercedes Benz"

2007-09-08T21:38:00.000+05:30

Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?

Oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?

Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?
Im counting on you, lord, please dont let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?

Random thoughts from an empty mind

2007-07-08T10:30:00.000+05:30

The biggest irony of life …….well the biggest farce played out on all humans is the belief that life has a greater meaning and a greater cause. When we are young and all, we are told that you have to search for that “Greater Cause”. Textbooks and textbooks and millions of pages are written and taught and chewed and spit till they almost become a cliché. The words telling us about life’s of great men and woman who supposedly “ Found “ that greater calling of there lives.

Plato , Einstein, Madame Curie, Napoleon, Iacocca and a million others who lived for a greater good and a greater cause.

We keep on believing and we keep on looking for that greater cause all throughout our lives. Believing that one day we will find that elixir of life, the alchemist’s gold and things will suddenly change for us. Even I am the one who kept believing that and kept searching for it. Until recently I was watching this movie, “wonder Boys”, where the guys says once, “Life is something that happens to us when we are looking for something else”

Well I could habve dismissed the thoughts that followed like any other thought provoking ideas are auto filtered in my system but then again on a closer introspection I found that these 23 odd years, in which I have been trying to stay alive, more then 15 were spent creating tools which one day will help me make a career in the future, then next 5 were spent specializing the tools which one day will help me to get in the “future” and possible land a good, decent and high paying job. And then the next 2-3 years I was tryng to make a career which will one day help me settle down in the “ future” and now recently the latest thing on ma mind is, retirement planning and my “future” kids education plans. Well and if I count in all the holidays, being sick, attending family functions and all, then I guess the total will come to around 365 odd days. So one out of 23 years, I actually was living. Doing the things I want to do. Watching the green leaves, doing nothing and basically feeling alive. Extrapolate that a bit and if I manage to stay alive till another say 40 years I will die a very sad man coz I would have lived for only around 3-4 odd years. So 56 years of toil so that I can live for just 4 years.

All this time I keep on living in the future when I am loosing out the life that is tickling away right here right now. The life I can spend being happy about today, about here and about now. If only I can detach my mind from 2010, I may notice all the reasons I have to be happy right now. Alll the tiny little details that are around me which can make me happy right here in this moment. I guess its like a veil over my eyes and in moments like this when this veil is suddenly lifted I find as if everything is “ok”.

All of a sudden things become so beautiful. And almost in the same instant all this weight that I feel in my head is lifted. And I feel so alive again. But then in a moment the cell phone rings and there is some one giving me a 1 lakh rupee loan, or maybe one of ma friends wants to share his career planning with me, or maybe it’s the mobile phone company reminding me of my overdue bills. And then the moment is lost and trust me no matter how hard I try it does not come back too often..

Well I got inspired by my own writing and I decided to come and sit outside in the balcony, outside the 4 walls I spend my life in. The walls remain almost the same. The location keeps on changing. One point of time I am confined in the four walls of my house and in the next moment I move to rthe four walls of my office. And if maybe I need a change I go to see the walls of a restraunt. But like I said the walls remain more or less the same. . Well that’s my life for now.

Anyways coming back to the point. I guess education should be modified a bit and there should be a different subject called “life” which should teach you how to live. How to make mistakes and learn from them. How to be a fool and still get by. How not be great and still be happy. It should teach about all the people like Einstein and all and still tell you in bold and underlined text, that Einstein as a kid loved doing what he did as an adult. That Einstein compromised a lot to do what he loved to do. He was not emulating anyone. But he was being an average clerk in a govtt. Office and finding time to live in the moment and do what he loved to do.

How madame curie got cancer doing what she was doing and loving. Had these people been living for the future glory I doubt very much that they would actually have got it. And imagine a “Newton” sitting under the tree and thinking about his next job change, I doubt he would have given a damn if the apple was falling or maybe if the whole damn tree would have fallen. Poor gravity would have got compromised because of someone’s career planning.

Well I am beginning to think that if all these things I am trying to tell you are actually true then what the hell am I doing on this stupid lap top?

He he he he

That’s what life is I suppose. Happy journey anyways!!!!!!!!!!!

The Journey into the Unknown...

2007-05-05T17:41:00.001+05:30

Every once in a while some thing happens......some strange event, or maybe some one comes along and there is this spark of revelations...

And i feel tempted to write....

But it does not happen to often anyways.

So what happened this time, what invoked this knee jerk reaction to make me want to write today? well to tell you the truth, i don't know :)

But then it ws like, i was enjoying my weekend and all. Basically doing nothing at all, and from nowhere, came this whole avalanche of questions? A whole lot of questions.....which i have been asking myself many a times. And o tell you the truth i have never really figured out a "perfect" answer. Like this one, "What is Happiness"?

Now i tell you this is one solide gold question ok! everytime i ask this question my answers change. And that drives me nutts. and i have this stupid habit now of actually "Writing" down the answers. and my oh my .......all of them are damn diffrent.

Back in college, happiness was getting through exams alive....then it became finding a job i loved. This happiness then suddenly morphed itself, into "finding ANY job"

and then momentarily it was doing the best in my job.

and soem where during the transitions and turn of pages pooor happiness, got , well, kinda ......LOST!

i do not really know where is my happiness right now. Is it in doing the right thing for my carrer, or is it doing the best in my job right now? o is it in making my folks happy? or is it in doing the right thing and basically being a fucckin boy scout!
Well i am sorry i know my language is taking a toss

Anyways the thing is that now she has got lost., and its been quiet some time since i could really find it. But then i thought of this stupid blog n all and i suddenly started missing some of my really good frnds here. Like marie Frey.....i used to like that one...and at some point of ime, gettin comments from her used to make me happy. Take Pallavi Sharma, my little wookie, my gaurdian angel. I tell you if you find one frnd who even comes 1 % close to what this girl is, well you will not need to keep lookin for happiness no more. Like i am.

But then, i do not know even why i am thinking about you all. Why i miss you all? Buy i know for sure that i have lost something, my happiness, my focus and my resolve. I let things happen to me to a point where i lost control.....and i am not being able to grab hold of that ever elusinve cliche' of a "Perfect Happy Life"

it will take me some time to figure that one out but one day i am going to crack this code....i am going to find out the root of all this. Which makes people go round n round.....

Well till then.....have a nice life

Swapnil's Wonderful Work.......

2007-01-10T12:16:00.000+05:30

Lost in Dreams.......and Lost in thoughts

2006-12-27T09:53:00.000+05:30

The time eventually came, when i had to come and sit at my PC again and write something. The chain of thoughts that's been going on in my head just kept expanding and organically branching out in all possible directions.
Mostly it starts with a question!!!

And then you regret having asked it yourself.......

But then you cannot turn your back on things unsaid, its like acrid vapors hanging in still air. Refuse to go, until you let some fresh air flow in.
Anyways, it all started on a trip. I was on my way to Lucknow on board a Train. I love traveling in the train for two reasons. One, the passage of time is more real and the distance actually diminishes with time, as it does in most cases, but somehow the slow passage of time seems more natural more realistic to me somehow. Secondly i get ample time to nurture crazy thoughts like this one here, i am having with me right now.
I was enjoying the sun, the feel of those soft morning rays falling on my arms, that soft touch of cold morning wind touching my face, all of a sudden i felt "relaxed". Unguarded, Prone, all the layers on insulation i had been building between me and that question, all of a sudden were gone.

And i regretted it later. Much later. anyways it was too late for now.

So, i asked myself, Who am i? A profoundly simple and innocent question but it started a train of thoughts, "Where am i Going? , "what am i doing?", "Where is home?", "Where are the people who love me?", "What is it that i really want to achieve?". things like that. Fairly innocent questions, but trust me , they are not innocent. They can wreck hovocc on your simple cute little value system. Render it useless at most. Then you have to start all over again. Don't Try it at home, its not worth it. Anyways, so now the problem was that i had almost 8 hours of journey left with me now. People around me, were, well, no offense, the most boring people ever to have lived on this planet. One of them was a Fashion model or something, Cute 23 year old female ( Yes! My Age), who was mostly interested in talking about Italian fashion, which to me is "Hwwa hua wwaa chu chi ( Thats in Chineese i guess!!)
Anyways, there was this Uncle Ji, 50 - 80 years age , could have been anywhere between that bracket because there was no way i could tell, judging by his looks. He was an IAS officer in the fisheries department and all. One son in US working for some firm, getting a fat dollar check for it. One daughter wedded to a Minister of some sort. Anyways he was really interested in throwing me off the train, and ensure that i got killed in the process, because i told him, that i work for a British Firm. Notwithstanding the fact that his own son, was working for some Half Baked idiot in US, this uncle ji thought that I AM DRAINING INDIA'S WEALTH ( Wherever that is,bcoz i am not really sure if there is any wealth here at all ). And this uncle ji thought that i am single handedly responsible for the unemployment in india, for killing the local industry, the small scale things ( i did not even know, that small scale sector used to manufacture Heavy construction equipment, which incidentally my "Evil" company makes for a living), Killing the Agriculture. and i could tell by the way he was looking at me, that he'd just as soon as push me out of the train as he got the chance to do it. I wish the damn train had some kind of seat belts or something. damned Indian railways.
There was another guy there with me, sitting right in front of me. Mostly his jaw did not leave the train's floor ( Did i tell you his jaw fell down, when he saw that model come in and sit next to me? ), I could tell by the way that he looked at her, that he was building castles and mountains of fantasies, all around that beauty. For nine hours, his eyes never left her alone. So i could deduce that he was not a least bit interested in having a conversation with me. Throw me out perhaps but not talk to me. So i felt somewhat more uncomfortable. Damn the Indian Railways, they should have some kind of seat belts on.

And this one should get the Nobel prize in that little compartment of mine. He was the best among this little herd. Well, he had this mobile phone with him, which i don't know why, required him to scream his lungs out, or maybe i guess the person at the other end had a hearing disability. So it was like he was screaming at the top of his voice into the cell phone, and trying to sort all his personal problems then and there. Sorry but i really could not miss out the details that he was airing in that little compartment. Turned out his wife had a relation with this other neighbor they had and this guy in the train was telling each one of his relatives that he was going to kill her or something, when he got back home that is. And i am sure the way he built his case, the whole compartment must have sympathized with him, and maybe some people with good hearing in the other compartment too.He was so engrossed in this , conversation of his, that even when nobodies cell phone was working, his mobile companty must have decided to air some extra signal into the cell phone for him. Custom Made or something. The model babe sitting next to him was surely feeling sorry for the little soul. Anyways. So you see my surroundings were just perfect. Picture perfect, so i just could not turn the What and why questions out of my head.

You really should not be cornered that ways, i was, and trust me its not fun!

Anyways, so lets start with the first thing that came to my head. in just a few months my life has been a roller coaster ride. So many things have been happening and so many things changing all of a sudden that i have lost all contact with reality. Its like a dazed confused dream, that just refuses to go away. So the thing is that i as a person have felt so lost and so confused that i even lost the sense of passage of time.

the people i love and care for, well, they've mostly been busy with there lives, trying to bring order into their own little chaotic universes. Some settling down, some going with the flow, some taking challenges and taking the lead. Well as of me, i am on the sidetracks for most of them. A diesel engine left running on the sidelines by some one. like you notice it, and wonder why its there and you move on.

Well, so here i am right now, lost lonely and "Thinking" about things i should not be thinking about, i know!

Thinking back and analyzing all that has happened to me so far i wonder whats wrong? I have a job, it pays well, i am not under debt or something, i live in a commparitive luxury, my life has been fairly successful to this point. BUT, there is something missing. Something fundamental, like a small stone missing in the foundation, like a small chromosome missing in my DNA. The harder i think of it, the harder i hit the wall.

i am still looking for that answer, i am still cornered by the questions at times and i still grope in the dark looking for them. i guess you don't just bounce into answers all at once. its all a process you have to go through and the process is what we have to learn not the answers but the whole process, bit by bit one step at a time. I wonder when i am dying or something, would i be content with all the answers i would be having with me that time. Or would i be still saying " oh Hell! i just could not figure out why?"

Maybe this is the learning that comes from all the questions that you ask yourself in those lonely personal moments, that its not the answers that matter but the way you ask the questions , the way you face your daemons and the way you challenge them.

loneliness, it has a solution, there are a billions and billions of people out there, population bursting at its seams, and i just cannot seem to believe that you cannot find ONEn Right person in all that crowd, one person you can feel bonded with.

Challenge? there are billion things you can challenge yourself on. and if you do it right, you might as well emerge a winner. Small challenges at first and then you can take the world head on.

money, Home, Car, Kids, Loving wife, good job, satisfaction, happiness, bliss, contentment, good sex, wild sex, more money, even more money, prestige, respect, crowds, all have a single price i think. "Initiative"!!!!!

Every problem has a solution, you just have to be using the right formula

The Wizard of the Dark,,,,,

2006-09-24T22:51:00.000+05:30

The ashes are still warm
my body lies there spread in the fire
but i promised you i will rise again

Some one told me, when i was a kid
"You will always belong to the dark, and that is where you will find all ur happiness"
i could not understand what he meant
now i see what darkness is to me
'
they break me
they try to kill all the love i have for myself
they loathe me for what i have become

but the ashes are still warm
and the fire is still not out
and i rise once again

this is not a poem ......
this is a promise to myself
that all those who left me to die the slow and painful death
will one day realize what they have lost

i believe in you
i trust you
i still do
and i love you
a lot
but i have to go now
i have a goal to achieve
and thanks to you
you made me realize that the ashes also have a use.,,,,,,,,

I am what i am...........

2006-09-23T23:44:00.000+05:30

The day starts
With a warm feeling of anticipation
Something good is going to happen today….

I wait for my chances to come
I wait for my time
I am patient
And I am diligent
But destiny has her ways

Dreams once cherished
Dreams now lost
Dreams forgotten long time back
Dreams that haunt me in the middle of the night

Nightmares no longer scare
People come and go
People I once loved, lost
People I once craved
Crawl all over my skin now

I became something wanton
Dark
Cold and dead
But I know good things will happen to me
Not in this lifetime
Maybe next
Or maybe the next one
I will keep on hoping
Keep on waiting
Keep on living and
Keep on dying
For I am an end in itself
I am faith
I am what I am………………..

Black is all I see......

2006-09-18T23:04:00.000+05:30

There i stand
looking in the dark
is it only my reflection
or is it visions from the past
or maybe manifestations of my own desires

black is all i see
darkness is all around me
I've been searching
so long
that i lost sight
of what i was looking for
my trenchant journey, leads me nowhere........

i stand here now
a victim of my own choices
feeding on my own vices
i am leaving this place now
i am going into the darkness
death is the only way out.......

bblackness feeds my skin
blackness feeds my brain
blackness feeds my end..........

She came to me today......

2006-09-01T22:38:00.000+05:30

I was standing there
in the dark
and she came to me today......
I know that look honey
I know u have been waiting
but isn't everysecond we spent waiting worth it now?
isn't every broken promise worth it?
isn't this life worth living now?

she stands there and smiles
knowing that emptiness inside me
the hours spent crying lonely in the dark
she knows I have been waiting
expecting
dreaming
hoping
that she will find me
and she did

this is how the journey begins
this is how we set to claim what is ours
Happiness

dREAMS I USED TO SEE ALL THE TIME........

2006-08-28T20:53:00.000+05:30

You Are 100% Psychic

You are so very psychic.
But you already predicted that, didn't you?
You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.
You're very tapped into the world around you...
Just make sure to use your powers for good!

Are You Psychic?

now this is something i would like to explain a bit more. there are times when i look at some one and i can tell that they are going to dig in there noses, and they do!!! they really do. or maybe some one walks over me in a crowd and i can tell that they are going to say "oh have we met before"/
and even before passing my 4th grade i was wondering that which planes have i been dropped from, my folks did not want to tell me that i am a result of what they did sometime, but anyways, what bthey did say was "u were dropped from the sky" so i have been searchin for that crazy planet all my life, not found it yet. but i know its right there somewhere

How impulsive am i......

2006-08-28T20:51:00.000+05:30

You Are 72% Impulsive

You are impulsive, which at times leads to irresponsibility.
It's hard for you to say no to all but the most insane propositions.
But you could care less. While your impulsive ways have gotten you in a little trouble - they've made for a very exciting life!

Are You Impulsive?

hey this is crazy IT WORKS ALL THE TIME YA KNOW.................

What kind of writer i should be?

2006-08-28T20:47:00.000+05:30

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from.
And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi.
Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics...
Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

i took this crazy test on my wookie's blog and looki how close this is to my writing....how many people out there agree?

Saturday Morning.......

2006-08-19T10:13:00.000+05:30

I am sure most of the people here have listened to this song over and over again.....but the reason i am putting this here is that as soon as i woke up on this saturday, i was happy and i was smiling, in part bcoz i do not have to go to the office and in part bcoz i was just happy........ i am sure all of us have those moments when everything is OK and everything FITS

Artist: Pearl Jam Lyrics
Song: Black Lyrics

Hey...oooh...
Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
As her body once did
All five horizons
Revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn
Ooh and all I taught her was everything
Ooh I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands
Chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by
Some kids at play
I can feel their laughter
So why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin
Round my head
I'm spinning
Oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away...
And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures had
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All I'll be...
Yeah
Uh huh...uh huh...ooh...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine
(not sure?)
mm-hmm no yeah no
mm mmmm no nonono yeah yeah
we-
we belong
we belong together
together
oooh ooh
we-
we belong
we belong together
oh yeah

Schizophrenia

2006-08-09T16:34:00.000+05:30

It seems to me that we humans have been living a life of a schizophrenic. We have been living not just in two split personalities but maybe many more than that. We get up everyday and that is the time that we are closest to our true being. We feel the warmth within ourselves and we feel that soft gentle happiness inside of us. But as the day progresses our true self gets buried under layers n layers of expectations.

We are expected to behave in a certain defined manner. There is a code on the way you speak, there is another code that tells you that there are things in life you cannot have. Even if you know that doing something will give you immense pleasure, you are torn between what is right and what is wrong.

Take for example the most basic human need. “Sex”. I believe that it is the sweetest, most remarkable emotion that we humans can experience, that one moment, that one single second in which we feel infinite happiness and bliss. In that moment there is no inhibition no holding you back. But how many people even think of it in those terms. A million inhibitions are tied onto this particular emotion, you cannot talk about it, you cannot discuss it, as if it’s a remorseful mortification of human caricature.

I have seen married couples who were infinitely in love with each other a few months back, being torn between lives, expectation, and such shit. Slowly all of them move into a kind of inertial life where they are just spending time with each other. There is no erotic feeling when your spouse touches you; there is no feeling of content. I do not think I am given the tools to understand why people complicate there lives so much……..

Maybe someday I really will…….

the devil is back

2006-07-14T13:31:00.000+05:30

well, first thing first. i am writing my blog after such a long haul coz i had lost my password( i hope this is a good excuse!!! he he he he ). Anyways, life has been kinda strange to me lately. i have had the pleasure to meet really goofy and eccentric sort of people.
i have been wanting to write something here since a long time, but everytime i wrote something on my home PC, i felt disgusted like always and had to delete it all to get rid of the idea. Well writing drives me nutts. But at times an idea really comes up and grabs you and you have to do something about it......DAMN FAST.

anyways. So actually i went to the railways station today to drop a friend of mine. He is going to a place called Tohana, to do a job.so he is the kinda a guy who is always partying and all, and always having fun.
so while his train was leaving a sudden thought came to my mind. Now this place where he has to go is the most depressing place on the planet ( Abhigyan don't kill me for this, but i guess u will agree). so suddenly while his train was snaking away from the station a thought came to my head, that how destiny shapes our lives!!! he would never hane imagined a life in such a place. so this suddent attack of introspection grabbed me and while driving back i was forced to thing how my own life has changed......
things and events have a certain kind of background, where everything is sort of "Decided". so if everything is decided then what is the fucckin need to work your ass off? why not wait on a highway for a truck to come down and shred you to a million pieces. if there is a thing called god up there and he is pulling the strings then why not let the sorry ass do his job?

so like i mean if every damn thing ais bound to happen, and u can change just the tits and bits of it athen why struggle like an ass to change things, why not go with the flow.
well i had to write this down so that i can drive piecefully, so i stopped at a cafe by the road to throw this here. i guess i will think and write more on this topic and then maybe someday i will have my own novel on this topic. he he he he

lets see if i can wrrite a book on this " The Ass god and his Strings", something like that. Lets see. Will let ya all know. and hey "moment" if ur reading this, then thank you. i really love your comments........see ya

Perceptions......

2006-05-24T10:24:00.000+05:30

Well, i have said this a million times, that i write only when a certain idea hits me so hard that i HAVE tu put it into words....i wait for a million years and try to strangle the idea but the urge still grows stronger.
Well, this time the credit goes to Vishal.

A few days back, he told me that "Rohit, why is it that not many people like you?". at that time i did not have the answer but then the seed had been planted. and ever since i have been thinking, why is it people do not like me? Why is that most of the people scorn at the mention of my name?

Now the reason why i am writing this is that when i write is the time when my thoughts become clear even to me.

So, what makes people like people? Or what is it that people DO NOT like about people, and how much do i care what others think of me?

I guess the root of evil here is that all the people who know you and all the people that come in contact with you, expect you to behave in a certain DEFINED manner. Now who decides this manner. the answer to this is, Expectations. i guess the only way to be most popular is meet the expectations of the masses. Become what they want you to become. Change yourself according to sll the people you meet. Change yourself to what is cool in the society. Change according to what THEY think is "HEP"!

But do i want to change myself. i dun think so. To me it does not matter what others or anyone thinks of me. Yes! i am too selfish in that respect. If you change so much everyday, what happens to "YOU". What happens to that inner self that you have nurtured for such a long time. I guess the universe would be so much more beautiful if people understood, that our motive in this life time is to attain perfection. And to do that the best virtue is to help each other reach that ultimate dream that one wishes to attain for himself. Not to change what he already is!!!!!

Today i have to say that i live for myself. people come into my life and people teach me things. That happens all the time, i learn from them. I help Them reach there dreams but i say here, that i do not give them any right to even a single minute of my life. i do not give them the liberty to even change one micron in my life. Yes they can grow with me, yes! they can learn from me and we can forever be together.

I have not made many friends in my life, but the ones i have made, never cease to make me feel proud of them. They are the people who hold something, Anything sacred in there lives and they NEVER i mean it, they NEVER give up. They have found what they love in there lives and they are chasing that. it does not matter to them what is cool or hep, what matters to them is what they want. And they are on there way to attain perfection.

Pallavi, if you are reading this, then i am sure u know what i mean. Swapnil, she has found herself and she is chasing it top speed. And i love her for that. Prem, who has been my brother since childhood, has never let go of his dreams. there are so many people i know that i can mention here, who have lived for what they hold sacred in there lives.
i guess there is so much to say on this and right now i have to get back to my studies, but yes i will surely continue with this, and will try to mention some people i have met, who changed so much that nothing of any value remained in them

i hope you know what i mean!!!!

2006-05-13T23:37:00.000+05:30

Many a times i sit on my computer, try to forms thoughts into words
and come up something decent. But does it matter, what i write? Does it matter if anyone gives a shit what i am writing is good or not. Well it does not. I write for my own pleasure. For the love of this life ,which is too precious.
So, if anyone of you have started reading this, coz you think what a good writer i am and all, i better terll you this is going to be a bunch of horse shit. I dO Nat CaaRe Where my spllngs r GOING,,.,;!!#@ or what PnctuaTIOn i am USING>

These are ,my thoughts and i write for my own pleasure

I want to talk about perfection today? What is perfection to you? is it being able to do your thing so well that people talk about you? Or is it doing something that wins you lot of appreciation? well to me perfection is when you do something and you fall in love with the "Doing", not the end result of it. Perfection is when you create something and you stop and wonder, have i actually built this? When you start worshipping your own Doing.

I believe we can become good on anything when we fall truly in love with it. Noiw that does not mean that you do something that is cool or that is trendy, but that sure means that you worship what you do.

Now i dun think i can write any more, so before i delete this too and maybe delete this whole blog anyway i guess i should publish this post and never come back here again

A Promise........

2006-04-15T00:53:00.000+05:30

A Long time back I promised a friend of mine, that I will be writing a piece for a popular newspaper he work in, "The Economic Times". He's been at my back like a goose monkey ever since, but I am too lazy to write anyways. But today he told me to at least put it on the blog. This for you Mr. Anand.

"The Metaphor of flow is one that many people have used to describe the sense of effortless action they feel in moments that stand out as best in their lives. It is the full involvement of flow, rather than happiness that makes for excellence in life. We can be happy experiencing the passive pleasures of a rested body, cool environs, or the contentment of serene relationships, but this kind of happiness depends on favorable external circumstances also. I am led to believe that this is applicable as well to the economy of a country as well. The economy of a country is a real indicator of how people feel content and secure in the system. The more people flow with the systems put in place, the more that translates into GDP growth. An example will help here. There are so many institutions in a country; all of them have to be in sync in order to have a stable growth. The stock markets will not be growing when the Military is in a high state of readiness. Or the schools will not be able to flow, if the industry is not showing any promises for employment. Or there will be no use for Stock markets when, the country even lacks the basic infrastructure. So what makes the whole economy go in a proper synchronization, so that an effortless flow is established, that leads to high growth numbers?

I believe that the real catalyst for that to happen is a Leadership in which each and every citizen believes in. A leadership towards which people can look up with a promise and a positive expectation of growth and security. Till that is achieved I feel it is improbable that the whole nation can be made to grow in that karmic Flow, leading to ever increasing economic and social growth"

Now, Alok, I know this is all crap and I have been telling you this from a long time. But his is the best I could come up with. I can confess that I just wrote it in 5-10 minutes, while you have been waiting for almost 15 days now. Sorry chums, but I write for my own pleasure man. And I will strangle you if you even once more asked me to write a book. That will probably put my picture on the front page of your paper "A Mad Blogger Strangles a Journalist".

See ya dude.

A Little Bit of Humour................

2006-03-30T21:46:00.000+05:30