End of the Tunnel

Status Report

2008-05-07T20:27:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the serious lack of posting here. Life has really changed over the past few months, so I need to think about how this blog fits in and where it should go in the future. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

For those of you who are personal friends, I've been posting some things about mountain life on my MySpace page, if you want to check it out.

Bye for now!

Thoughts on Faith

2008-03-31T21:20:00.003-05:00

This post over at Teacher On Two Wheels got me thinking about Faith. I left a comment, but I'm thinking I'll have some stuff to say about it here too. The post doesn't turn to religious matters until the end, but it's definitely worth reading.

And really, the entire blog is worth a look. It's cool stuff!

Brown Boxes

2008-03-17T15:51:00.000-05:00

I'm not really what you'd call a "stuff" person. I'm one of those people who does Spring Cleaning once in every season, because to me, getting rid of stuff is like getting rid of responsibility. I'm just not one to get attached to material things.

Our moving company is here packing us up today, and I am so glad I'm not the one doing it. I feel a lot more confident about everything getting to our new house in one piece, because they're probably being much more careful with things than I would be. But as little concern as I have about my stuff, I am finding the experience to be surprisingly emotional.

I feel like my entire life is being compressed into square brown boxes. It's certainly not that my life is defined by the things I own, but the stuff in those boxes helped create an environment where we've done so much more than just exist for the past 5 years - we've really LIVED. Our home has been a place of comfort and refuge not just for us, but also, I believe, for the couples who have belonged to our Home Group. We have laughed and cried with a lot of very special people in this living room, and seeing it all packed away makes me realize that an amazing chapter in my life has come to an end.

But, the good thing about coming to the end of one chapter is that you get to start another one. My stuff will soon come back out of those boxes, God will draw new friends close and old ones closer, and our new house will turn into a home.

Shelley on the Move

2008-02-27T22:00:00.002-05:00

So, it's been awhile. What can I say - life has been a bit overwhelming lately. Around the 3rd week in January I was presented with an opportunity to take a promotion in another state. After interviews, negotiations, and MUCH prayer, we decided to go for it! We've been living in a whirlwind, trying to buy a house there, sell our house here, wrap up Home Group, and handle all the other details that come with making a major life change. Although it's been crazy, this is a great time of learning and growth. Here are a couple of things that have been interesting:

When people at work talk to me about my promotion, they are always super interested in what my husband thinks of it all. In fact, it's usually the first question they ask. I can't help but wonder if he (the man) was the one moving us if people would be as concerned about my feelings. I guess a relationship in which the woman's career drives life change is still pretty controversial.
A lot of people assume that the reason I'm not having kids is to pursue my career, and taking this promotion hasn't helped. I know they think I'm just a selfish person. Why, oh why can't people stop judging?!
The folks in our Home Group rock! I wish they weren't so awesome so I wouldn't miss them so badly. (Not really though.)
Selling a house sucks. I can't wait to be messy again!
This is so embarrassing, but a lot of the features we wanted in a new house were for the convenience of the dog. I can't believe I'm buying a house around a DOG!!! I must be crazy.
Moving away is a good way to find out how the people in your life really feel about you. I have discovered that we are more loved than I ever imagined! It's made me realize that I need to make more of an effort to let the people I care about know it more regularly.

There's so much more I could say, but I'll leave it for now. I'm sure I'll have lots more to talk about in days to come!

Still Kickin'

2008-01-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

Don't worry - I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Just busy finishing up the holidays and going out of town for work. I'll be back soon!

Christmas Bells

2007-12-20T00:29:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite Christmas songs has always been I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day. Recently the song became even more meaningful to me when I learned the story behind its words, penned by the great American poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

Longfellow started the 1860’s on top of the world. He was happily married, living with his wife and five children in a lovely home on the Cambridge River in Massachusetts. But in 1861, tragedy struck both the nation and the Longfellow family. The opening shots of the Civil War were fired on April 12th, and shortly after, Longfellow’s wife was fatally burned in an accident on July 10th. While melting a bar of sealing wax with a candle, a few drops fell on her dress and ignited, wrapping her in flames. Longfellow unsuccessfully attempted to extinguish the flames with a throw rug, and then frantically tried to smother them by throwing his arms around her. Unfortunately his wife died the next morning, and Longfellow was unable to attend her funeral, having suffered severe burns to his face and arms.The first Christmas after his wife’s death, Longfellow wrote in his journal, "How inexpressibly sad are all holidays." A year after the incident, he wrote, "I can make no record of these days. Better leave them wrapped in silence. Perhaps someday God will give me peace." Longfellow's journal entry for December 25th 1862 reads: "'A merry Christmas' say the children, but that is no more for me." Almost a year later, Longfellow received word that his oldest son, a lieutenant in the Army of the Potomac, had suffered a severe bullet wound to the spine. The Christmas of 1863 was silent in Longfellow's journal.

But finally, on Christmas Day of 1864, he wrote the words of the poem, "Christmas Bells:”

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled alongThe unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

I love this poem because it is a reminder that no matter what we suffer, no matter how long we languish in trials and tribulations, we always have hope in Christ. He will bring peace to our lives, and someday, peace to the world.

An Unlikely Childfree Zone

2007-12-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

I've got a new post up at Purple Women & Friends called An Unlikely Childfree Zone. It's about NewSpring Church's policy of not allowing children into it's regular worship service. The pastor definitely has an interesting point of view!

Who Stole the Christ from Christmas?

2007-12-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

At this time of year, we hear a lot of lamenting from the Christian community about how society has secularized Christmas. They make it sound like some evil secret society got together and hatched a plot to replace Jesus with Santa Claus…or should I say SATAN Claus?

Anyway, I do think society tells us to value material possessions and make sure we’re always a step ahead of our neighbors, and it’s only natural that we exhibit those values during the holidays. But I also think that everyone really wants so much more from Christmas, and it’s evident in the seasonal movies we’ve absorbed into our culture:

It’s a Wonderful Life: By seeing what it would have been like if he’d never been born, a man discovers that his life has meaning and purpose after all.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: When the evil Grinch robs Whoville of all its holiday trimmings and presents, the community unites to discover that Christmas is really all about love.

Miracle on 34th Street: A hardened businesswoman overcomes her skepticism about Santa and decides to believe in the impossible.

A life with meaning, love as the greatest gift, and the hope to believe in miracles – these are the holiday themes we’ve embraced, that we watch over and over again, year after year. The ideals portrayed in these movies are what the world really wants Christmas to be all about. And ironically, Jesus came to make those very things possible.

So forget secularization. When it comes right down to it, I think society is actually desperate to put Christ back in Christmas. It just doesn’t know it.

My Dog Don't Know It's Christmas

2007-12-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

This is my first Christmas as a dog owner, and apparently, I'm supposed to get him a Christmas present. Multiple friends have expressed surprise that not only did I neglect to hang a stocking for my dog, but I don't plan to wrap any gifts for him either. Call me a scrooge, but he's just a dog! His only thought when he looks at the Christmas Tree is that he wishes he could pee on it - I highly doubt he's looking for a present.

Anyway, I heard a song on XM radio that made me realize I'm not alone in my thinking. I couldn't find a recording to link to, but here are the words:

My Dog Don't Know It's Christmas
by Scott Katz

My dog don't know when it's Christmas
Despite the gift-wrapped chew toys 'round the tree.
You got the dog-star up above, poodle skirts and puppy love,
But there ain't no canine Christianity.

He knows not to piddle on the carpet,
And he knows when he must go to the vet.
He understands a Milkbone and he comprehends a snow-cone,
Yeah, but Jesus is a concept he don't get.

My dog don't know when it’s Christmas.
How could any creature be so naive?
But despite his passivity, re: the nativity
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.

Despite his proclivity to dis the nativity,
If the lord was a shepherd, he'd believe.

So, to all my friends and readers who lavish presents upon your pets at Christmas, I love you dearly and I say if you enjoy it, go right ahead and stuff your personalized dog stockings to the brim! Just make sure your dog doesn't tell my dog - I don't want him to get wise!

Christmas Cheese

2007-12-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

Accuse me of blasphemy if you want, but I usually can’t stand going to church around Christmas time. Even though the story of Christ’s birth is probably the most powerful, world-changing passage of scripture ever recorded in any religion, pastors feel the need to put some sort of “creative” spin on it that usually annoys the crap out of me. So I end up sitting through an hour of cheese, I don’t learn anything, and somehow I’m completely unaffected by the birth of the Savior of the entire universe.

But last Sunday, I attended an absolutely amazing Christmas service. It was a paired down, straight-up discussion of the simple truth of Christmas. It managed to be both intellectually and emotionally stimulating. And it hit on a key point that doesn't seem to be particularly popular at this time of year: Christ’s birth means nothing without His death.

If you're like me and this is just the kind of service you've been waiting for, go here and click on “last week’s service” to watch it online. I promise it will be worth your while!

Wonders Never Cease

2007-11-27T18:39:00.000-05:00

Well, there's a good chance that Hell has frozen over, because my cake came out great! Here's a picture

I know the ability to bake a cake isn't all that big of a deal, but for some reason, I was darn proud of it. I guess it's just nice to conquer a personal challenge once in awhile!

A Disaster Waiting to Happen

2007-11-21T16:55:00.000-05:00

Well, the Holiday Season is officially here. It seems like every year at this time, I get on a domestic kick. So alert the fire department – I’m cooking!

Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I am seriously handicapped in the kitchen. I want to be a good cook, but I always seem to run out of patience or get distracted. I do dumb stuff like leaving the flour out of a cake or forgetting to take cover off the stove eye before I turn it on. If there’s a way to screw something up, I’ll find it.

Not surprisingly, no one ever asks me to bring anything significant for Thanksgiving. This year, I’m in charge of rolls and tea, which I was directed to pick up at Publix. However, I was also told to bring a dessert if I felt like it, and I’ve decided I do! I am making a pumpkin spice bundt cake with orange glaze. Impressive, right?

If you know me, you’re probably thinking there’s no way on God’s green earth I’m going to pull this off. And honestly, I’d have to agree. I mean come on – for me, making dessert usually involves dumping a bag of M&Ms into a nice bowl. And I’m pretty sure the fact that I didn’t even own a bundt pan until this morning is a seriously bad omen.

But regardless, I’m going to give it a try. Ben has agreed to help (double-check) me, so I’ve got that going in my favor. And hey – if it doesn’t work, I’ve still got the rolls, tea, and a bag of M&Ms.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Purple Women Count

2007-11-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s post is in honor of the Purple Women Count Campaign, a blogging-blitz aimed at getting BlogHer and other women-centric websites to add a category for Women Without Children. The campaign is the brainchild of Teri Tith, founder of Purple Women & Friends, who got tired of getting the brush-off from the folks at BlogHer who insist that there just aren’t enough people interested in childfree issues to warrant its own category. I think that viewpoint is a bit shortsighted.

The number of blogs focused specifically on being childfree is relatively small – a Google search only turns up about 15 or so. BUT, I wouldn’t even begin to try to estimate the number of childfree women who are out there blogging on a different topic.

Take me for example. I wouldn’t necessarily call End of The Tunnel a childfree blog, but everything I do write about is colored (or should I say purpled) by my decision not to have kids. Conversely, if I did have a child, I’m sure my writing would take on a different slant. Any parent will tell you that having a child affects every aspect of your life – it makes perfect sense that choosing not to have one would have quite an impact as well.

So, when I’m looking for new blogs to read, I tend to prefer those written by women who don’t have children. I just can’t relate to mothers very well, especially when the topic is religion, politics, education, career…ANYTHING! It’s not that I only want to read blogs about being chidfree, and I certainly don’t have anything against mothers who blog. Really I’m just like everyone else – I want to read a blog from someone who’s a little more like me.

And that’s where sites like BlogHer are supposed to come in. They have a large blogroll separated by topic, which should help you find likeminded writers. But when there is no category for women without children, where does that leave people like me? Invisible.

Anyway, that’s my take on the issue. I hope this campaign will make a difference, and if you are childfree, please take the time to visit Purple Women & Friends today and check out some of the other bloggers who have weighed in on this issue. And if you’re one of my readers who could care less about childfree stuff, thanks for making it to the end of this post. To reward you, I’ll tell you a funny story:

We were able to get excellent tickets for the Clemson vs. Boston College football game this weekend – 30 yard line, lower deck. However, the dog thought they looked tasty, so he ate them. Ben was able to wrench the tickets out of his mouth, but unfortunately the tear-away stubs came off, and the dog swallowed them. Ben is furious. If we can’t get into the game, a slightly naughty greyhound may be in need of a good home.

UPDATE: I took the mangled ticket remains down to Clemson, and they printed new ones for me. Apparently Bowman isn't the only dog for whom football tickets are a choice snack, because the lady who helped me said that mine were the second set of dog-chomped tickets she'd replaced this month. Anyway, Ben has made up with the dog and all is well. Go Tigers!

Life Lessons from the Smurfs

2007-11-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

Remember the Smurfs? Those little blue guys were a cultural phenomenon that helped bind my generation together. I think you would be hard pressed to find a person of my age whose childhood memories don’t involve watching the Smurfs on Saturday mornings.

One of the key Smurfs was named Jokey, and as the name suggests, he was constantly playing tricks on everyone. His favorite gag was to give the other Smurfs a “present,” which when opened would explode in their faces. The box was always the same – yellow with a big red ribbon.

As a child, I never understood why the Smurfs kept on accepting Jokey’s gifts. I mean come on – they ALWAYS exploded! Couldn’t the other Smurfs just learn their lesson and stop opening those things? But now as an adult I think maybe Jokey’s antics were the cartoon writers’ way of making a deeper statement.

How many people have you known who just keep going back to something that is harmful to them? I think about a girl I knew in high school who would sleep with a guy and feel horrible about herself afterwards. But then she’d go right back out and hook up with another guy, thinking it would somehow give her what she was looking on the next go-round. It invariably failed.

So why did my friend get caught in that loop, and why do we, even on a smaller day-to-day level, continue to do things that are bad for us? And more importantly, how do we get off the merry-go-round? I think Paul gives us the answer in Romans 7:18-25:

“I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway…I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Church & Chatting in South Carolina

2007-10-23T12:08:00.000-05:00

Check out this blog - it's by a guy named Andrew who is on a 2-year bike trip and is currently making his way through the Southeast. This post is about his first visit to a Southen Baptist church, and it's not at all what you'd expect. I think Andrew's experience exemplifies all that I love about the South.

Enjoy!

Missing Out

2007-10-13T10:50:00.000-05:00

Hi Y'all! I've got a new post up at Purple Women & Friends called "Missing Out?" Hope you enjoy!

My Story

2007-10-10T09:19:00.001-05:00

Home Group has been pretty amazing lately. We’ve been doing a study called Contagious Christianity that helps you become open about your Faith and teaches you how to easily talk about God. Last week we learned how to tell our personal stories of how we came to Christ, and then we shared them with each other. But I was sick and didn’t get to go, so Ben said that the group was expecting me to share my story this Sunday. I thought I’d do one better and share it with the entire blogosphere:

At age 15, I started my sophomore year of high school fairly confident in my ability to manage my life. I had chosen a good group of friends, family relations were going smoothly, and it was easy for me to get good grades. I had finally even found myself a boyfriend, and with that checked off the list, I didn’t think there was anything else I really needed. I was in control, and things were going exactly according to plan.

However, around Christmas that year, my plan started falling apart. My grandmother got sick, and my mom temporarily moved to Alabama to take care of her. I stepped in to pick up some of the slack at home, especially looking out for my little brother. It was a stressful time for the entire family, and I couldn’t do anything to make it better.

With the added stress at home, my honors classes also became overwhelming. I had been managing to hang on, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get the grades I wanted.

To top it all off, one of my close friends decided I wasn’t a good person anymore. I have no idea what I did, and she wouldn’t tell me. But she started a smear campaign and tried to turn my other friends against me too. Then my boyfriend moved away, and it wasn’t long before he stopped calling. There was nothing I could do to hold on to either of them.

I ended that year feeling completely out of control, wondering how everything had so quickly slipped out of my grasp. I had no idea how to get back on track. Then out of the blue, my best friend Shannon called and asked if I would like to go on a Mission Trip with her church youth group to do Bible camps for kids. It wasn’t something I would typically do, but then again, my typical choices hadn’t been working out so well. So I figured I didn’t have anything to lose and signed on.

At the Bible camp, one of the kids took to me immediately. His parents were going through a nasty divorce, and he was very angry and bitter. He was desperate for comfort, and for some reason, he looked to me to provide it. I was totally overwhelmed - how could I help this kid, when I couldn’t even handle my own life? So I told him that God loved him, and I shared the Gospel with him as I understood it. And suddenly, for the first time, I knew it was all true.

I realized I needed to let God control my life, because He had a good plan for me. I was flooded with an immediate sense of peace like I had never felt before, and the rush of relief was incredible. From that moment, life was never the same again.

Now, even though I still like to be in control, it’s not such a driving need. I don't feel so much pressure about my decisions anymore because I have learned to trust God and allow Him to be my guide. These days, being out of control is a good thing!

So what’s your experience? I would love you to leave a comment and tell your story too. Maybe God has changed your life like He did mine, or maybe you’re one of the many seekers who visit this site and are still trying to figure it all out. Regardless of your situation, we all have something to learn from each other. If you’re not sure how to comment, it’s explained in this post. You can even be anonymous if you want. So take a chance and share!

A Burst Bubble

2007-10-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I need what I call a “bubble day.” That’s when I convince myself that the world is a kind and friendly place, where everyone gets along and the biggest controversy is over what to have for dinner. I mentally create my own sterile environment, and I hang out in there and allow myself to recuperate from the world at large. I really could have used one of those days today, but life kept coming at my bubble with an ice pick.

It all started off with a new chapter in our disagreement with the guy next door over dog poop. This has been an ongoing saga, of which I’ll spare you the details. Let’s just say I’m having a hard time loving my neighbor.

After church, we went to Pet Smart to buy some dog food, and our credit card wouldn’t go through. After an excruciating conversation with the Citibank customer no-service department, we discover that they have decided, without consulting us, to upgrade our account and cancel our old cards. They sent us new ones, which we apparently threw out with the fifty million other credit card offers we get each day. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except that of course, this particular card was the one we were using to automatically pay all our other bills.

Believe it or not, at this point, I was still hopeful of having at least a bubble afternoon. However, we had one more errand to run, and as we turned onto the main road I realized that the world was just not going to cut me a break today.

The street, probably the busiest in our city, was lined down both sides for at least a quarter of a mile with people holding up signs that said, “Abortion Kills Children.” Yep, the girl who wanted to spend the day pretending that the world was conflict-free found herself in the middle of a giant abortion protest. Yippee.

So finally I gave up, turned my brain back on, and checked out the scene. Several things stood out.

First of all, there were quite a few young children holding signs, which I found to be extremely disturbing. A 7-year-old boy shouldn’t even understand sex, much less abortion. There’s no way those kids could understand what they were doing. What kind of parent makes their child participate in something like that?

Secondly, I couldn’t tell what organization was sponsoring the protest. I’m sure it was some sort of church, but there was no info about that on any of the signs. It seemed kind of cowardly to me to stage such a bold demonstration but not own up to it.

But mainly, I just hated how it made me feel. It all seemed so self-righteous, and I felt that even though I’m not an advocate of abortion they’d probably condemn me just as harshly, because I would never stand beside them on the side of the road denouncing it either. I felt like I was in the middle of a drive-by judging.

So were any abortions prevented by the corridor of shame? I highly doubt it. But I do think at least one woman recognized the error of her ways today. As we sat at an intersection, I smiled as one of the protestors glanced furtively at her fellow demonstrators, shuffled a few feet away from the rest of them, and slowly covered her face with her sign.

When Faith Gets Overwhelming

2007-09-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like this God thing is a bit much to handle.

Earlier this week I sort of got backed into a corner by people who wanted to convince me that God was a joke. I couldn’t refute their specific arguments, (maybe more Old Testament knowledge would have helped,) but what really shocked me was that even if their points were valid, I didn’t much care.

Christianity is one of the most real things I’ve ever experienced, but it’s also the most preposterous. It’s completely illogical, but somehow I know it’s right. There’s so much I don’t understand, yet I still have peace and confidence. Am I crazy, or is that just how God works?

I was feeling kind of down about the whole thing, until I came across Psalm 71:14-15 where David says,

"But as for me, I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure.”

I felt myself summed up in those verses. I really don’t know the true depth or measure of God’s character or His sacrifice, but that’s okay – I don’t have to understand everything. I still have hope and joy, and I keep on praising Him through any doubts that may arise. Maybe I am crazy, but I guess I’m in good company.

I would be very interested to hear how others handle it when Christianity gets overwhelming, and I would love to get a dialogue going. I know I can always use some support, and I bet I’m not the only one. Your comments are much appreciated!

To Be Frank

2007-09-22T22:22:00.000-05:00

I want to tell you about a man I once knew, who I’ll call Frank.

Frank was the quintessential mountain man. He mostly kept to himself, and was generally suspicious of other people. But as he warmed up to me, I found him to be a kind and generous man, quick with a joke and a smile. He was in his 60’s, but the sparkle behind his eyes made him seem much more lively and spry than his age would suggest. He called me “baby doll,” which always felt exactly like the term of endearment it was meant to be. I found him to be an all-around good guy.

Frank had not been successful in marriage, but he had several adult children with whom he remained close. He loved to spoil them, and there was nothing that good ol’ Dad wouldn’t take care of.

But one day, one of Frank’s sons decided to bring a fraudulent lawsuit against a company, claiming he had an accident for which they were responsible. Without any prior discussion, he involved his father in the case, saying Frank had witnessed the phony accident. By the time Frank found out what was happening, he was inextricably stuck in the case and could not avoid testifying.

When Frank got on the stand, he told the truth. He couldn’t help it – that’s just who he was. He knew that his honesty would likely cost him his son, but it was a chance he had to take. Frank was simply compelled to do the right thing.

A few months later, Frank’s daughter unexpectedly died. He was completely heartbroken. Of all his children, she was the one who simply loved him, never expecting anything but for him to love her in return. At her funeral, I discovered just how devastating Frank’s loss really was.

As the family filed down the center aisle into the chapel, I couldn’t spot Frank. After everyone was seated, I finally noticed him slip in inconspicuously through a side door and take a seat several rows back from the rest of the family. My eyes welled with tears as I realized what had happened.

Frank’s son had turned the entire family against him, except for his daughter who was now gone. He had lost everyone he ever loved, and there was no one to share his grief. He sat in his pew with head bowed and shoulders slumped, and the eyes that once held that mischievous sparkle were flat and empty. He was a broken man.

Frank’s story affects me deeply. This was a man who stood at a crossroads and took the difficult path, though he had everything to lose. I know that if he had lied he wouldn’t have been able to face himself in the mirror, but I wonder if it would have been worth it to keep his family. I wonder if the price he paid for integrity was just too high.

I lost track of Frank shortly after the death of his daughter, but I think about him often. I hold out hope that he has reconciled with his family, and that he won’t have to spend his last days alone. And I pray that if I’m ever in his shoes, I’ll have the courage to follow in his footsteps.

Eeewwww....

2007-09-13T18:23:00.000-05:00

You know something? We live in a crude world, and there's something disgusting lurking around every corner.

For example, tonight I am relaxing in my den, enjoying an episode of Wheel of Fortune. No worries of anything icky popping up there, right?

But then it's commercial time, and an ad comes on for Serenity pads. No big deal - people need these things, and the commercials are generally discreet. There is a voice pitching the product, and there's this graphic of a field with a big daisy in it. Pretty typical. But then I take a closer look, and I notice - the petals of the flower are made of adult diapers! Big, white pads that unfortunate adults have to pee in. Do the people who need these things not already know what they look like? Do we really need to try to make them cute?

This commercial ranks right up there with the girl who plugs the hole in her date's rowboat with a tampon, and the cartoon bear who takes a crap on a tree and then discusses how much toilet paper it's going to take to wipe up. Who takes in these gross images and then thinks, "Oh boy - I gotta run right out and get me some of that."

Unfortunately, I think this yuck-fest is going to get worse before it gets better. Today we're listening to a philosophical discussion on the nuances of feminine odor, tomorrow I'll see some actor actually applying his Preparation H.

Wrinkles

2007-09-11T15:25:00.000-05:00

I always planned to “grow old gracefully.” Let the gray hair and wrinkles come as they may – I’d take it all in stride with good humor, and embrace whatever face looked back at me in the mirror. Aging wouldn’t even be an issue.

Well, a few months ago I noticed the tiniest beginnings of lines around my mouth. That discovery immediately led to a more critical facial inspection, which revealed slight traces of lines around my eyes too. You have to understand, no one else would probably be able to detect even the smallest change - we’re talking miniscule lines here. But as I stood there looking in the mirror and puzzling over how this could have happened, I was suddenly hit with a stunning revelation:

“HOLY CRAP! I am going to get WRINKLES!!!!”
Thoughts of growing old gracefully went out the window. I just wanted to go out and buy the best miracle cream I could find and take a bath in it. How could this be happening to me? I guess my philosophy was really more like, “If I grow old, I’ll do it gracefully.” I hadn’t accepted that the “if” was actually a “when.”

It didn’t take me long to calm down and return to rationality. But I was still a little bummed about the whole wrinkles thing, until this weekend.

I was watching a re-run of Extreme Makeover, where “ugly” people get major plastic surgery to correct what they consider to be their physical flaws. During her initial consultation, this woman told the plastic surgeon that she was looking forward to “never having wrinkles again.” However he was quick to correct her, explaining that wrinkles come from showing facial expression, and that they would eventually come back unless she never smiled or laughed again. That started me thinking.

My life has been filled with happiness. Yes, there have been plenty of sad and difficult times, but I have spent considerably more time laughing than crying. There’s not a day that goes by in which I don’t have multiple reasons to smile, and I am grateful for it. And if wrinkles are the price I pay, then so be it.

So I will go right on living, loving, laughing and smiling, allowing all the joys of life to be written across my face. And I hope that when I die, I’ll have too many wrinkles to count and will have earned every one of them.

Does a Christian Have a Choice?

2007-09-01T11:26:00.000-05:00

Check out my latest post on Purple Women & Friends - I'm pretty excited about it!

No Labor For Me This Weekend!

2007-08-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

You’ve probably already figured it out by now, but it’s Labor Day Weekend! Three days off, and every clothing store is having a sale – what could be better!

I’ve got a pretty big weekend planned – a football game tonight at the high school where my husband teaches, seeing my friend Corey Crowder in concert on Saturday, Home Group on Sunday, sleeping in on Monday morning instead of dragging myself to work, and finally, to cap it all off, the Clemson vs. Florida State game on Monday night! I’m so excited!

However, it dawned on me that I’m not quite sure why I’m celebrating. A quick trip to the Department of Labor website taught me that the General Secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners, Peter McGuire, suggested the holiday in the late 1880’s as a way to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold.” (Nice quote!)

So while I’m riding in my car, sitting under the stadium lights, enjoying amplified music, and watching ESPN on my flatscreen TV, I’ll think of all the production workers who turned technology into reality so I could have such a fun weekend. Thanks to all the Laborers of the world!

Being Constructive

2007-08-25T19:59:00.000-05:00

Awhile back I was watching Larry King Live on CNN, and he was interviewing Duane Chapman, otherwise known as Dog the Bounty Hunter. The Dog and his family profess to be born-again Christians, and they have set themselves apart from others in their profession with their benevolent, “Christ-like” behavior toward their fugitives.

If you’ve ever seen their show, you know that the leather-clad, heavily tattooed, foul-mouthed Chapmans aren’t exactly poster-children for the Religious Right. Larry King was taking questions from viewers on this issue, and one asked if their prevalent use of four-letter words is really the best witness for Christ. The question obviously made Dog uncomfortable, and he said they were “working on it.” I watched a new episode earlier this week, and I didn’t see a bit of evidence to suggest that taming his tongue is anywhere near the top of Dog’s priorities.

One of the best parts of being a Christian is that God knows you are going to have parts of your life that aren’t exactly squeaky clean, but He loves and accepts you anyway. As the Apostle Paul said in I Corinthians 10:23, everything is permissible, just not necessarily constructive. God meets you where you are and changes you bit by bit – you don’t have to be perfect before you can have a relationship with Him. And that’s a good thing, since none of us are ever going to be perfect.

I wish that Dog had just manned up and said he wasn’t quite ready to give up the potty mouth yet. I wish he had owned up to the truth instead of skirting the issue by saying he was “working on it.”

If you know there’s an area of your life that’s not “constructive,” really examine how you feel about it. If you find you’re not ready to let it go, just be honest with yourself. Then, be honest with God and with other people. It may feel embarrassing or shameful, but you can’t expect to hold onto something you know is wrong and feel good while you do it.

If you are truly seeking God, you’ll be able to leave your unconstructive behavior behind when the time is right. Just don’t make it worse by being a liar or a hypocrite about it now.