Endless Encounters...

Sifat negatif dalam diriku...

2011-04-17T22:43:00.001+08:00

Actually dah lama dah aku tahu aku ade sifat negatif nih dalam diri aku. Cuma akhir2 nih cam obvious sgt. Aku sebenarnyer jenis yang kutuk org dalam diam. Well, at least dalam diam OK! Aku tak bergosip ngan org lain. And aku kutuk at that moment je...pastu aku tak simpan...so takde la hati aku nih busuk. Cume tu la...still, I think I shouldn't...tapi, dah sifat aku. And maybe that's why aku susah nak kawan ngan org...sbb bila aku rapat ngan org...aku start nampak keburukan atau kelemahan org tuh...hati aku start nak kutuk org tuh. Jahat kan... Ye, aku mmg jahat. Semua orang ingat aku baik...so "angel" like sbb mmg aku bukan jenis citer buruk pasal org kat org lain. So...sesiapa yang baca...jgn risau la...aku tak mungkin akan citer buruk pasal korang. Tapi...aku still manusia biasa...still aku ada perasaan benci dan menyampah...yer...I'm not PERFECT. But somehow, disebabkan aku tak friendly or rapat dengan org...people says I'm 'sombong'. Itu la manusia... Tak kenal org tuh...terus kate sombong. Sakit hati tau. Kekadang aku rase nak terajang je mulut sape yang kate org yang diam nih sombong! For me...dorang nih stupid..sedap je kate orang sombong... Ape tuh sombong sebenarnyer? Takkan sebab senyap...kate sombong? Pendiam is pendiam...bukan sombong. Aku lebih suka diam dari aku bercerita bende tak elok pasal orang ok! Tapi kekadang bile bengang sangat ade gak terkeluar kat blog nih. Tapi kat rasenyer takde org pun bace blog aku... Hahahaha... So I guess no crime done, right?

The Reality about life...

2011-04-17T22:15:00.000+08:00

Life is a complex thing. As a student, u see life differently. You think everything is easy like you learn through the books. I don't really bother to pay attention to what student say. They say it in form a perspective from a book...never thinking of the world out there. They are still what I would call...naive. But as they enter the working life...the door of life started to open. As a student, you see only one door...one perspective. As you start working, you'll see the complexity about life. You'll soon see what your teacher, parents and elderly sees. Then your thoughts starts to mature. As for now, I enjoy reading these students point of view. They speak as though they know the key towards life...but in fact they only knew about 1% of life. I can only smile. Not bothered to say anything...for they'll soon see.

No Mood...

2011-04-15T18:13:00.000+08:00

Tolong! Tolong! Ape dah jadi ngan aku nih. Drama session is supposed to make me happy! Excited! But...since yesterday...rase macam takde mood. Maybe kurang komitmen dari pelakon lelaki yang 3 org tuh yang sepatutnyer hadir...tapi tak hadir. Geram aku. Rase nak tukar je pelakon...Kalo tak leh bagi komitmen...cakap awal2... Cikgu letih la... Aaaa... Sekarang tgh pikir...samada nak teruskan drama Aladdin atau tak. Tapi mungkin aku teruskan gak. Cuma...casting kene tukar. Maybe aku kene banyakkan budak2 form 4. Form 3 aku tak nak kaco sgt...sbb dorang nak concentrate PMR... Sayang sungguh. Tahun depan mesti ramai blah. Sedih plak aku memikirkannyer....Anak murid kesayangan aku semua form 3 sekarang. Bukan ape..cuma aku rapat nag dorang lebih dari form lain...sebab aku ngajar dorang masa form 1, 2 dan 3 gak. 3 tahun bersama dorang... Bile dengar ramai nak pindah mase form 4...aku rase sedih. Dah le aku tak ngajar pun dak form4 or form5...so mmg tak rapat ngan dorang...ape tah lagi dak2 petang. Huhuhuuhu...Sedihnyer..aku rase nak nangis. Kalo nak tahu...perkara yang buat aku semangat untuk datang sekolah adalah sebab pelajar2 melayu form 3...tak kira 3A,B,F dan G. But..of course...terutamanyer 3A and 3B. Aaaaahh...sayunyer hati nih. Tak ada dah anak murid nak panggil aku mummy. Hehehe...kinda got used to it. Feels really close with them. Tak guna aku merungut. Lumrah hidup. Setiap pertemuan ade perpisahan jua. To my students...best of luck for your future. Moga semuanya jadi orang berguna.

Naqib AF9 is my second cousin???

2011-04-11T16:14:00.000+08:00

Iyer...betul. Naqib AF9 tu my second cousin. Actually aku tak tau pun sebelum nih. My mum yang bgtau. His mum and my mum are cousins. So that makes me and him second cousin. Dorang dok kat Melaka...so memang jarang jumpa. I kenal parent dia je. Naqib and adik-beradik dia...aku tak kenal sgt. Coz pernah gi rumah dia pun pernah sekali jer. Tu pun time dia kecik. Famili dia famili yang selalu masuk pertandingan bacaan Al-Quran...qari and qariahnyer famili la. Tapi tetibe dia sorang ni...menyanyi plak. Hehehe...takpe la...asalkan bahagia.

So far dengar suara dia ok gak. Sedap gak la. Tgk kedudukan dia pun no.3. Lama dah tak tgk AF. Disebabkan tahun nih tahun terakhir and sebab ade sedara...aku tengok la. Hehehe... Aku sokong Naqib and Lena... Gediq pun gediq la si lena tu, tapi suara sedap. Erul tuk asyik nak Korea and Jepun terlebih. Kita kan Malaysia... Tu je la sbb aku tak sokong Erul. Tapi suara dia ok gak la. Yang lain tu...tak tahu la.

It's a Boy!!!!

2011-04-11T15:52:00.000+08:00

My baby is a boy! Hooray!!! Alhamdulillah... Actually tak kisah sangat lelaki atau perempuan, yang penting baby sihat, cukup sifat, and comel macam mama dia...hahah... Actually, dah sebulan dah tahu, cuma malas nak heboh2 kat org lagi.

Baju baru tuk baby dah beli. Tapi tak banyak sgt sbb baju firdaus ade lagi. Beli dalam lima pasang je dulu. Standby ngan baju fird. Rugi beli baju baby banyak sebab dia pakai sekejap je. Dah sampai 9 bulan tu baru leh beli yang comel2 baru best. Leh pakai lama.

Botol belum beli lagi...sbb pikir tak nak guna botol lagi for first two months. Kalo ade btol...mesti aku nak guna...jadi biar takde dulu. Breast pump...hajat nak beli, tak beli lagi. Cadang baby nih nak full breast feed...leh jimat sket. Hehehe...kedekut sunggu mama dan abah erk. Alaa...susu ibu susu paling baik tuk anak kan. Firdaus dulu....2 bulan full breastfeed...after that campur sampai dia umur 2 tahun. Kira ok gak leh breastfeed sampai dia dua tahun. Still ingat time nak putus susu dulu... Memang kesian kat dia...mintak susu...siap buat suara kesian... Tapi mama terpaksa tegas...kalo tak...malu je dah besar isap susu mama lagi.

Cita-cita baru aku...

2011-04-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

Cita-cita baru aku skang nih...beranikan diri untuk menyuarakan pendapat aku walaupun akan menyebabkan orang lain terguris. Sebab apa jadi macam nih? Sebab aku rase bodoh kekadang membiarkan orang lain komen aku sampai hati aku terguris, tapi aku tak berani nak defend diri aku. Cukup sudah...aku tak sanggup lagi. Aku nak jadi orang yang mulut laser tapi bertempat. Boleh tak? Cukup berani ke aku? Tapi tu la...satu masalah aku...aku takut ape yang aku cakapkan tu akan buat orang lain sakit hati. Tapi bila aku pikir balik...sepatutnyer aku pentingkan perasaan aku jugak. Buat ape aku nak 'care' peresaan org tuh kalo dia tak pikir langsung pasal perasaan aku. Aku akan cuba yang terbaik sbb aku sayang diri aku.

Orang yang suka salahkan orang lain...

2011-04-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

Hmm..aku paling tak suka orang yang suka salahkan orang lain tapi at the same time sebenarnyer dia leh buat something tuk betukkan keadaan...
Contohnyer:
1) Seorang pelajar yang salahkan keraajan sbb dia fail maths and science dalam bahasa inggeris. Dia kate...kalo bahasa melayu tak kisah. Salahkan diri sendiri la...sape suruh tak belajar bahasa inggeris betul2... Padahal belajar bahasa inggeris dari darjah satu. dah tak paham..usaha la sendiri...bawa kamus ke ape.

2) Seorang ibu yang marahkan doktor sbb anak dia demam tapi doktor kate tak perlu masuk wad. Nak tahu tak...yang masuk wad tu dah kritikal...dah dehydrated sampai kene observe oleh dr 24hrs. Syukur la anak awak tak masuk wad. Saya pun seorang ibu. Anak saya pun ada juga demam panas sampai 39C. Memang bila demam...especially baby...doktor leh bg ubat biase dlm portion yg sikit sahaja. Baby mane leh masuk ubat banyak. Masa demam...bagi ubat tu...then yang penting jaga suhu dan pastikan baby minum air so that tak dehydrate. Badan bayi tak sama mcm badan org dewasa...badan baru belajar nak berlawan ngan kuman. Bukannyer makan ubat terus ok. Yang pegi maki hamun doktor tu ape hal. Kate doktor tak betul la apa. Dah tu je yang dia mampu buat. Tahu la sayang anak...tpi kekadang sbg ibu...kene cerdik gak...

3) Seorang guru yang salahkan kerajaan sebab kerja banyak...haaa yang nih termasuk aku la. Seriously...aku selalu marah kerajaan bab nih...tapi aku jugak yang buat. Hahaha...well...I'm NOT PERFECT. Bila aku fikir balik...sebenarnyer keje2 tu takde la berat mana...kalo buat continuosly. Tapi, masalah aku...suka tangguh keje...Ala...senang je tuh...leh buat nanti. Lepas tuh tak ingat...then bile nak hantar time tu jugak la ade keje lain perlu disettlekan gak. Last2 rase tension...blame sekolah...blame kerajaan. Bodoh tak aku. Ya...rase sgt bodoh sekali.

4) Seorang jurujual yang kene balut hadiah salah customer bila beli pembalut yang menyusahkan dia tuk balut hadiah. Ni terjadi kat aku. Aku rase nak sepak je muka. Aku cakap balik...dah susah nak balut guna kertas nih, nape nak jual kertas nih? Geram je aku nak sambung...nak saya tunjukkan ke cara nak balut dia? Kalo aku beli awal...aku dah balut kat rumah sendiri. Tapi sebab nak di kenduri tu in 10min, aku suruh dia buat. Apa gunanyer gift wrapping service kalo kertas camtuh pun tak reti!

Sebenarnyer banyak lagi. Ye la...aku tahu kekadang kita manusia nih tak sedar and kekadang pendek akal especially bila panik. Termasuk aku la jugak kan. Tapi tu la...mesej sebenarnyer kat sini...Jangan suka salahkan orang lain sangat...sebab sebenarnyer kita mampu tuk buat sesuatu untuk mengatasi masalah yang kita hadapi. Masalah tu ditujukan untuk kita...untuk kita belajar untuk digunakan untuk masa hadapan. So tak perlu la nak marah2 orang. Kita berusaha cari cara untuk atasi. Thank You!

Firdaus went swimming again...

2011-04-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hari nih nekma and tokpa Firdaus datang lagi. Datang nak swimming ngan Firdaus. Suka betul Fird dapat swim ari nih.

Kene Observe...ehehe

2011-04-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

Yup! Hari nih aku di'observe' oleh Pn Zahrah(guru cemerlang tu...). Kecut? Takde la sgt, sbb bagi aku...setelah di'observe' aku leh tahu apa kelemahan aku and aku boleh betulkan. Kalo tak, sampai bile2 cara aku ngajar tak betul...masa depan anak murid aku gak jadi mangsa.

Sampai sekolah je....tetibe ade cikgu junior jumpa aku mintak bawa bebudak 3B tuk kutip sampah waktu pertama. Aduss... Tapi takpe...disebabkan dah janji ngan Pn Zahrah, aku teruskan pelan aku tuk sesi P&P hari nih.

Tak kecut aku kate tadi? Ko nih memang suka berlagak la, Anne! Hahaha...sebenarnyer rase kurang selesa gak la bile kite ngajar ade org tgk. Tapi berterima kasih banyak la pada kelas 3B tadi...sebab semua behave. Dorang semua buat keje yang aku suruh buat. TQ bg kerjasama tahap dewa! I love you lah!

Sebelum habis waktu pertama, Pn Zahrah jumpa aku. Hmm...dia kata so far nampak bagus, takde masalah. Alhamdulillah. Then dia tgk buku nota and latihan budak lelaki. Adusss...dia tgk plak buku Harith...yang agak banyak tak lengkap. Nape la tak pilih dak2 perempuan....huhuhu. Tapi dia still bagi pujian sebab nota nampak kemas...heheh seb baik dan disemak. So, tq la erk Harith...tak lengkap tapi kemas. :) Yang penting aku dah banyak semak buku nota dorang. Sebab ade gak kes cikgu tak check langsung buku nota and buku latihan. Tahniah, Anne...ko bukan cikgu macam tuh! (puji diri sendiri lagi...hahahaa)Cuma tadi, Pn. Zahrah bagi suggestion lepas nih aku bagi skor tuk latihan dorang, so that dorang tahu tahap dorang...lemah, baik or cemerlang. Satu cadangan yang baik. Insya-Allah aku buat lepas nih...kalo ingat la. Dah le aku nih jenis pelupa.

Anyway...TQ 3 Bestari. I love you 3B.

Lepas sekolah tadi buat voice rehearsal tuk pertandingan teater antara sekolah2 daerah Gombak. First rehearsal ma... Alhamdulillah...semua characters ade plus script writers aka directors. Hahaha... Tahun nih aku nak bagi peluang students plak yang buat dialog and jadi pengarah. Senang sket nanti bila dah ade pelapis. Lagipun dorang nih memang ade bakat. Rugi kalo tak polish dari awal. Mana tau dorang nih Rashid Sibir or Yasmin Ahmad in the making. Hehehe...Anne, ko nih suka berangan.

Ok la..nak makan. Lapar... Bye!

Another ordinary day

2011-04-05T23:21:00.004+08:00

Tak ada ape2 yang best untuk diceritakan tentang hari nih...cuma aku bosan...so saje nak mentaip kat blog nih. Still mc today. Firdaus tak pegi taska sbb mama and abah firdaus ade kat rumah. Suka la dia...habis satu rumah jd kubu dia...balcony, ruang tamu and bilik komputer..(ehehe...takde la satu rumah). Aku plak study Chapter 8 buku teks form 6 my class on thursday. Encik suami tension ngn komputer...sbb hard disc rosak. Hohoho...bertungkus lumus nk settlekan komputer. Aku tak reti nk bg ppertolongan sbb aku tak tahu menahu pasal komputer ape tah lagi nak repair. Leave it to the expert...a.k.a en suami.

Hari ni aku tak masak. Beli je lauk...nasi masak kat rumah. Seperti biasa..aku tak lalu makan. Entah ler...pregnancy aku kali nih agak teruk...sangat memilih. Aku rase anak aku sorang ni mesti seorang yang cerewet. huhuhu...semua bende yang aku makan mesti ade yang tak kene... tak cukup masin la...tak cukup garing la...manis la...layu sgt la...mcm2 lgi. Last2 aku makan nasi kosong ngan ayam goreng je. Tu pun ayam dia rase cam ayam lama. huhuhu....teruk betul la aku nih.

Aku pening kepala sket akhir2 nih... pikir pasal eksperimen bedah tikus...pertandingan teater bahasa melayu...pementasan aladdin, pertandingan drama and peka sains bebudak frm 3. Hohoho... Silibus form 6 aku terpaksa habiskan sebelum aku bersalin. Ye la...takut takde org ganti aku nnt time cuti bersalin. Kesian plak bebudak tu nnt. Tapi tak kira...aku nk cuti 3 bulan jugak. Pepandai la bebudak tu survive.

Ok la...dah ngntuk. Nite2..

Cellnique...the only one for me!

2011-04-04T21:01:00.003+08:00

Akhirnyer aku dah jumpe jenama skincare yang sesuai ngan kulitku yang sensitive. Dah banyak dah tukar2 skincare product...Loreal...tak jadi...Olay pun tak jadi...pastu ntah ape2 lagi ntah kat Watson tu aku cuba...semua buat muka gatal and merah. Actually dari bulan Nov tahun lepas aku start guna package lengkap...saje tak nak pos kat blog lagi sbb nak tgk kesan jangka panjang.Sebelum nih aku cuma pakai sebum gel je yang aku beli time aku wat facial kat Cres. Disebabkan puas hati ngn sebum gel...aku buat keputusan nk guna satu set. Ternyata aku buat keputusan yg betul.

Jenama yang aku guna skang nih ialah jenama Cellnique...introduced to it mase aku wat facial kat Cres dulu. Dia sama kelas ngan SK II and Dermalogica la. Dulu tak berani nak beli set sbb memang mahal la. Hohoho...tapi disebabkan nak kulit yang cantik...aku beli juga. Jerawat merah yang besar kat muka dah hilang...dan muka pun dah takde jerawat. Satu set basic lebih kurang RM400+ la. Tu termasuk cleanser, toner, moisteriser, sebum gel and serum. Tahan dalam 3 bulan la. Tapi puas hati. Tapi kalo tambahan mask and lelain...kene prepare extra la.
Kedai cellnique ade je dekat ngn rumah aku nih...tapi aku beli online sbb malas nak melayan sales person and dapat discount 20-30%. Still original product ok. Thank you, Cellnique!! I love you! P/S: Siap dapat pujian dari encik suami...ehehehe

Batuk berkhahak lagi...

2011-04-04T08:48:00.001+08:00

8.00am
Tak habis2 lagi batuk aku nih. Rasenyer pregnant kali ni mmg batuk almost sepanjang pregnancy. Early pregnancy that seksa sgt..but comes the third trimester...memang seksa...espeacially mmg dah selalu sgt batuk...sampai sakit bahagian bawah perut. "Baby, are you alright in there?" Kesian baby...mama asyik batuk je. Makan ubat? Huhuhu...tak berani nak makan ubat batuk time pregnancy nih. Scared if it will give bad effects to my baby. Takpe la...bertahan je lah. Another 2 months to go, mummy!

Update - 7.11pm
Pagi tadi pegi klinik...pasal batuk nih. Dah tak tahan...lama sgt batuk. Doc kate ade mild infection. So dia bagi anti-biotik, ubat batuk and ubat selsema...in case resdung teruk memalam plus MC for today and tomorrow. Thank you, doc!! Same as my previous pregnancy...memang kuat resdung time pregnant.A few months back aku terpaksa amik CRK sebab resdung... Pagi punyer kuat resdung plus asthma...so sms cik rosnah tak dapat gi sekolah. Then...comes the time nak gi klinik...the resdung...the asthma...all gone! Damn it! Another precious CRK gone. Kalo tak leh mc. Grrr... Ok la. That's all for now. Later...

Ustaz pukul budak 7thn sampai koma...mati

2011-04-03T21:00:00.001+08:00

Ape nk jadi ngan cikgu@ustaz zaman skang? Siap pukul and belasah anak murid??? Bodoh betul. Dah le budak umur 7 tahun...kalo mencuri pun...jgn di belasah budak tu. Ustaz pendek akal betul la. Kalo aku dah betul2 geram kat budak pun...paling teruk aku buat...tarik telinga. Tu pun student tu leh suruh aku cubit lg...mmg kurang ajarnyer budak. Tapi sabar je la. Jauh sekali nak bantai anak org. Anak sendiri pun tak berani nak bantai.

Pada cikgu2 kat luar sana...mari sama2 amik iktibar. Bila dah marah tu...cecepat la selawat...istifar bebyk...bg cool. Bile marah menguasai diri..tu yang keadaan jdi luar kawalan. Ni ape tah lagi ustaz... Semoga hidup kita dijauhi dr perkara2 sebegini. Amin...

Bila cikgu emo...

2011-03-29T17:03:00.002+08:00

Begitu la perasaan seorang cikgu macam aku setiap kali lepas habis marking kertas exam. Kalo result naik...kembang...bile result turun...mengecewakan...rasa nak marah semua orang. Hahahaha... Kesian aku tgk muka bebudak tuh. Tapi takpe...aku emo kejap je.
Lepas nih kene ubah strategi pengajaran. So sekarang dah tahu kelemahan dorang... Dorang nih agak lemah menjawab soalan struktur. So after this kene buat banyak latihan soalan struktur. Kena biasakan dorang nih dengan pelbagai bentuk soalan struktur. Kekadang soalan pusing2 tapi sebenarnyer kehendak soalan sama saja. Just that kekadang bebudak ni tak paham soalan...

Takpa..usaha lagi Anne!

Pengurusan Fail and Notice Board Kelab

2011-03-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

Yer...hari nih spend time ngan student menguruskan fail-fail kelab. Semuanyer pasal pihak PPD nak datang minggu depan. Tapi bagus la...akhirnyer siap la. Kalo tak..rasenyer tak siap2 la. Thanks tu Arun and Bazil tadi for helping out. Yang sepatutnya buat...tak leh datang la plak.

Wokeh! Dah dapat kunci tuk papan kenyataan Kelab Drama...boleh la start men'decorate. Dah serah pada Razik tuk settlekan...Jovita helped out too and ade sorang dak cina yang aku masih tak ingat lagi nama dia...thanks yer. Dialog tuk pertandingan drama pun dah berjaya disiapkan oleh Salehuddin and Zikrin. Nasib la ade mereka2 yang berbakat nih. Memang banyak membantu cikgu. Sanggup datang petang tuk tolong siapkan. Cikgu doakan korang semua berjaya dunia akhirat...Amin.

Rase ringan sket dah berjaya siapkan fail2 tu semua. Fail Bio form 6 pun dah settle. Banyak lagi nih nak kene settlekan sebelum bersalin... Takpe...one step at a time. Tak mahu tinggal tugasan yang terbengkalai plak nnt. Go..Anne!!!!

Don't wanna care anymore...

2011-03-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

Semakin besar adik2...semakin takde rase hormat dengan org yang lebih tua. Entah...dah banyak aku simpan. Sudah cukup untuk ku nyatakan di hati yang aku dah tak nak ambil kisah. Sejak kecik mmg dah macam tuh. Kalau bercakap tak pernah baik. Mesti nak tengking or tinggikan suara. Di beri nasihat sikit...katenyer...menyampah la...sibuk la. Apa salahnyer dengar. Along ni bukan nak menyusahkan hidup korang. Apa yang salah perlu ditegur. Awak tu adik along. Along wajib tegur...dah tanggungjawab along. Ntahla...start dari sekarang...dah malas nak kisah pasal adik2...ye la....Along ni suka menyibuk je kan. Buat la ape yang korang nak buat. Along takkan tegur dah. Hidup korang...bukan hidup along pun. Kekadang jealous tgh suami dan adik2...saling hormat menghormati. Apa yang suami kate...dorang tak pernah bantah or tinggikan suara. Tapi...adik2ku...pantang ditegur terutamanyer yang perempuan. Hmm...dah la. Along doakan hidup korang bahagia. Tak sangka along sakit hati sampai delete adik sendiri dari facebook... Sampai tahap along dah tak mahu ambil kisah langsung. Bye-bye...

Happy Birthday, my best friend...

2011-03-23T20:25:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday tu Suraya Md Jani. Miss you so much. May all your wishes come true. Setiap kali terkenangan saat bersama semasa di MPPM, Melaka dengan Sue...pasti mata berkaca. Never had a friend like you. Whom I can share everything with. Somehow the distance between us drove us further apart. Still...the memories remain here in my heart. All the best for you...my dear friend! :)

Rambut baru Firdaus!!!

2011-03-03T01:52:00.000+08:00

Hair ni first time fird potong rambut kat kedai. Dia pegi ngn abah dia. Bila sampai rumah...terkejut tgk rambut fird dah pendek. I was like..."Errr...where's my son?" Takes time la jugak nk terima rambut baru firdaus. Hohohoho...rase macam firdaus hilang seketika. Termanung gak aku dibuatnyer. mane taknyer...2tahun setgh rambut camtu...tetibe rambut pendek. Mmg anak mama nampak matang dgn style rambut baru dia. Takpe...mama dan abah dah buat keputusan...lepas nih back to the old hair.. hihihi... Adik pun rambut sama ngn fird nnt.

Clueless

2011-02-20T19:29:00.001+08:00

I've been in a state of clueless lately. Knowing what happened to my sis. I feel so helpless too. I don't think anything I do will help.

I guess I hadn't been the warm and loving sister that most people have. I agree to some friends when they said that I'm a rather cold hearted person. But...the thing is...I do care. It's just that the way I was brought up...I was taught to always ignore the negative feelings in yourself and move on. Ever since I was a kid...whenever I feel sad...mama would always tell me to ignore it...'buat tak tahu je'. So I'm kinda used to it. And whenever people go through their problems...I thought they would do like I do...just ignore it and go on with life. Somehow it worked for me...but, I realise it isn't the best way.

I know I should have been there for her... But I wasn't. I don't know how to talk to her about the problems she's having. All I could think of is it will be better if I stay out of it. But...after what had happened...I think I should have done something from the beginning. Hmm...

I'm not that close with my sibs as other people are with theirs. I spent most of my school years away from home...away from them. Maybe the distance made us grew apart. Honestly, if I'm left with either one of my sibs in this world...After 2 days...I just don't know what the hell to talk about. Plus...I'm not the talkative type.

So when I can't talk about it...I write. So sis...here I go again. Dunno know if you're gonna read this or not. But...what the hell...I hope you do.

Dear Sis,
I know what's been going on. Even before you came to babysit firdaus yesterday. Thanks a bunch, sis. Appreciate it very much. At first, I did thought about talking things through with you...but at the same time I understand that you need some space. I think it's enough that mum's always bringing it up to you over and over again. I pity you on that. You know her...she's mum. She sees what she thinks the best for you. I'm a mum too...I would want the best for Firdaus from my point of view. Respect her for that. I heard her in tears a lot on the phone lately.

Ever since we were kids...out of you, me and Hisyam. You are that only one that always got your way or the things that you've always wanted. This is from my view. If you don't want to go to school back then...you won't go. If you want that shoe...no matter how expensive it is...you'll get it. I'm the eldest. I don't get that. I'm the one that mama and papa always reminds to set the good example, follow what they say, remember that you have other sibs...so you can't have anything expensive. Believe me...I never got what I want. But then I learnt...that what I want isn't what I need. So my life is mostly filled with what I need, rather than what I want.

In life...you may want to achieve what you want...still you have to remember what you really need in order to make you feel happy. Learn to differenciate your needs and wants.

About the choices that you're making...all I can say now is that what ever you do, don't do it half way. Once you've decided...there's no turning back. You will sure go through a lot of obstacles and all...be strong and face it. In life, whether the path that you chose is the path that you want or not....there will always be things that will make you wanna quit. What ever you do...don't quit. Just go through it. That's life. Think positive...not negative like you always do...I know. Change yourself for the better. Yes...sometime in life...problem comes because of who you are...something in you that needs changing. Don't be too stubborn to think that I'm not gonna let life change me...at times you do need to change. To change...is not being hypocrite...to have to know that. Contohnyer,macam pakai tudung...jgn pulak tak nak pakai tudung sbb rase cam hipokrit(like most people outthere thinks)...dah bende tu wajib...buat je la. Tanam dalam diri tu buat untuk Allah.

I guess that's all from me. Remember...when you make a decision in life...don't forget about your family.

I am a teacher

2010-06-10T02:05:00.003+08:00

They said,"You're just a teacher..."
I go to school five days a week,
I teach,
I listen,
I learn,
I care,
I told some students off if they did silly stuff.

I only teach half a day,
I teach,
I listen,
I bare in mind they'll get it some day,
I told them,"You can do it..."
I think of them 24/7.

I am a teacher,
I teach,
I listen,
I nurse,
I correct mistakes,
I give,
I support,
Still they say...I am just a teacher.

But that's where they're wrong...
I am not just a teacher,
I am a teacher...

Barbie Collector

2010-06-09T00:29:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking of buying some barbie collector for investment. I will most probably have to by the silver/gold/platinum label for better investment. But does it really worth it? Should I take the risk of buying the expensive dolls for a better resell price in the future? Will it guarantee I will have my money back at least? Looking through the dolls that are available...they are so adorable. Here are some that managed to capture my heart...
1. 2010 Palm Beach Honey Barbie Silkstone(NRFB) - Gold Label- RM475

2. 2009 Debut Barbie (NIB) - Gold Label- RM288

3. 2009 Southern Belle Barbie Doll Silkstone Barbie - Gold Label - RM328

Kat Malaysia tak banyak Collector Barbie. U really need to go on a hunt. Siang td, my hubby and I pergi cari kat AMcorp Mall. Malangnyer kedai tu tutup. Ceessss...berpeluh aku. Then kami gi One Utama...kat toys r' us takde collector barbie...tapi jumpe kat parkson...only pink and blak labels... The day before...kami gi cari kat Berjaya Time Square...takde... Pullips and Blythe ade la...tapi tak minat...sbb takut tgk mata dia gerak. Horror...huhuhu

But I'm still thinking. Maybe I should survey sambutan collector barbie kat malaysia nih dulu. My betul ade orang Malaysia yang beli barbie cost RM300++ then dapat jual RM3000....tapi...I'm still 50% convinced. Well, the first barbie made...sold for usd25000 at auction...original price usd3.00...

Ntah la...tgk kat ebay pun selling fast. Sekejap barbie ni ade kat ebay...esok aku tgk dah takde...sgt cepat!

Aku Dah Tengok Prince of Persia!!!!!

2010-06-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

Yer...merujuk perkara di atas...memang benar saya dah tengok Prince of Persia. Reaction: Hahaha...best! I like it. Apsal la Jake Gyllenhal(Prince Dastan) macam handsome plak skang nih? Huhuhu... Tapi memang aku suka character dia dalam Prince of Persia... Buat aku rase cam nak main game Prince of Persia plak. Hahaha... Satu lagi aku suka sbb guna English slang British. Hahaha...aku suka. Tapi memang Jake handsome la dlm citer nih. Aku tgk dia dalam citer lain takde plak rase ape2...hahaha Lastly, I enjoyed it...the actions, the humor, the concept of the story. Aku tak leh bagi skor sbb takut bias. What really kept me watching this movie is the character Prince Dastan. You guys can watch and judge it for yourself la. Good and fun to watch with you family and friends.

Follow Your Heart

2010-06-05T00:13:00.005+08:00

Oh, I just love reading a good book. Especially on the philosophy of life... You see, I'm currently reading 'Follow Your Heart', written and illustrated by Andrew Matthews. This book is great. It lets me see a different perspective towards life. The positive perspective to be sure. This book has actually helped me to overcome a lot of problems in my life since I started reading it 2 weeks ago. It helps me in my social life and my working life. You see, it's all in your head. It's just a matter of mind setting. Mind controls everything. I guess this book actually helped me to control my mind in a way. I'm calmer in facing problems nowadays (more patient with my students)...I see things clearly...I have the energy and the courage to be what I want. It really is an interesting book. I dearly urge others to read this book. It totally worth it. I guarantee that you won't be disappointed.

Two weeks in heaven!!! What a life!

2010-06-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

Hahaha...not that heaven la. Well, honey...it's the school holiday! And I'm planning to really focus to myself this time. Tis time...walaupun mmg selalu fokus pada diri sendiri. Hahaha...I can't help it, I'm love myself..even though people think that I'm weird...haha
Actually my holiday started early...cause was down with a cold on thursday...and doc gave me 2 days of mc. So yesterday I started my holiday watching the movie, Pride and Prejudice. I adore the movie...the characters, the language...it's so relaxing...to me la. I love it. Today...nothing, cause I decided to continue marking my students' exam paper...English and Science... Science ok kot....Budak kelas last sekali 1L(12th class) ade 3 org dapat C paling tinggi. Kire an achievemnt la...not to me sgt la...sbb aku rase sbb dorang tuisyen kot. Tapi tak pening sgt and hati tenang. 1E plak markah banyak naik...so I'm happy ade improvement. Maybe the students decided to study and do their best this time round. English...I tak semak lagi. Bakal memeningkan kepala kot biasa la...essay. So tonite...I'll be marking them starting with 2Bestari. To help me go through it...I'm planning to watch Harry Potter Movies(Back to back). It's gonna be great!
Ok la. Gotta settle my work. Au Revoir!

Fan of classic story book

2010-05-25T21:39:00.003+08:00

I sometime feel like I'm in the wrong era. I love classic story book...I love oldies...old symphonies... Yeah...I love stuff from older times. Which...somehow made me kinda like a freak in this world. Why do I love them? As for classic story books/novels...I love the style of language that people from that time used. So beautiful that it sometime made me cry just reading it. The words...the sentences...I adore them so much. The other is because of the culture...the sociology of the time it was written. My favourite author is of course Jane Austen. She's a wonderful write...a genius. Her written work is full of culture of its era. I became mesmerized with her work that it made me bought a book of a compilation of all her written work. Pride and prejudice is of course my favourite of all time.
Next...William Shakespeare. His work introduced me to theater, plays and drama. I never knew who he was until I read his original play - Romeo and Juliet. It's so enchanting and dramatic. The dialogue...was so intriguing and full of intense emotion. If we have drama class in Malaysia...yes..I would love to be the teacher. If I'm not qualified...I will make myself qualified to be one.