endless forms

We can rebuild her! We have the technology!

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 06:30:00 +0000

I've been thinking and praying a lot lately, trying to find the right balance, trying to discern the right path. Nothing specific is afoot - no huge upheavals or changes. I've been feeling a bit unsettled, and have been wanting to grow spiritually, to do more and to be more - to be better. Better...stronger...faster... a little like the Bionic Man, I guess.

Introduction to The Bionic Man

I came across this list a few days ago, and it spoke to me. I've been studying it, praying about it. Its given me the focus I've been hoping and praying for. I think I've been wanting the wrong things. Growth is surely good, but I've been looking in the wrong direction.

Mother Teresa’s Humility List

01. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
02. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
03. Avoid curiosity.
04. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
05. Accept small irritations with good humor.
06. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
07. Accept censures even if unmerited.
08. Give in to the will of others.
09. Accept insults and injuries.
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
15. Choose always the more difficult task.

Mother Teresa

I don't understand everything on this list. Avoid curiosity? About... everything? About inconsequential things? I'm still not sure.

Give in, in discussions, even when you are right. I can see not wanting to be right for the sake of being right about most things, but isn't it right to gently correct someone who is clearly in the wrong about things that matter? But maybe that's where faith comes in. Trusting that things will turn out, not getting upset, not adopting an "I'm right" attitude.

Most of the list made sense immediately, though. Most of it is difficult. It's hard to walk away and detach oneself sometimes. It is hard to be humble, to be quiet, to be thoughtful. Good is rarely easy. Simple faith can be really hard.

balance, used with permission, here

A couple of weeks ago, our youngest asked me about birds in the Bible. I could think of only a couple of verses offhand. I recited them, and she said her favorite was Luke 12:24Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds.

raven, used with permission, here

I explained that there are probably billions of birds, and that God knows each of them. And if God knows each individual bird, just think of how He knows us and cares for us. She really liked that and said it was good. I agreed. It is good.

Right now, instead of trying to do more or be more, perhaps I should work on being humbly happy with what is, and recognizing all that is good. There is so much good.

good, used with permission, here

Sounds like a plan.

Mr. Blue Sky Vs. The Monsters Under the Bed

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 06:30:00 +0000

Minion: So what's the plan, sir?

Megamind: I have no idea!

After the little one went to bed at just before 8:30, Dan and I started watching Megamind. I don't always like computer animated movies, but this is one of my favorites. Funny and sweet, the bad guy decides to do the right thing and changes for the right reasons.

Megamind movie poster, from Wikipedia, here.

ELO's Mr Blue Sky is featured in Megamind. ELO made a new video for it last year, in 2012 for some reason - the original came out in 1977. I've always liked it and have always thought I heard a dog panting in the song. Having seen the new video, either I'm right about the dog, or the animator mis-hears the same thing, because a doggie is animated in at just the right spot. Sweet, right?

2012 ELO Mr. Blue Sky

The previous video of Mr Blue Sky was a more straightforward performance piece by ELO. From the marvellous and much-missed era of huge 'fros and rockin' mullets, it's neat, but in a different way.

Original video, ELO, Mr. Blue Sky

About an hour after we started watching the film, the little one came down crying. Fast forward another 40 minutes, and we sent her back to bed, still a little upset, but mostly calm. Now I'm upset, too.

Mr. Blue you did it right
But soon comes Mr. Night
Creepin' over, now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind, I'll remember you this, I'll remember you this way
Lyrics from Mr. Blue Sky by ELO

She couldn't sleep because today at school, when she had a moment to read, she picked up a book called More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (link goes to the Amazon page for the book). Tonight, in bed, she had plenty of time to think about the stories, and when she came down, she was terrified. I have the feeling that she may have picked this particular book up because it has a horse on the cover. She loves horses.

I'm actually not upset about the book. In spite of the title, it seems to be age-appropriate, from what I can see. It simply was not "our child" age-appropriate, but the teacher would have had no way of knowing. Additionally, I'm not one for censorship. Still, I know my child, and could have foreseen this. But I wasn't there. And she wasn't here.

For half an hour or so, we talked to her, and I held her & her pony and gave her tight hugs. Dan told her about a scary movie he'd seen when he was little (he'd seen Jaws) and how he'd had a hard time sleeping when he saw it, but how now he knows that movies and books can't hurt us. When she was calm, but still a little worried, we sent her to bed.

Jaws movie poster, from Wikipedia, here.

Normally, when she's scared, we'd sit up and talk and maybe find another book to read or do something to replace the scary ideas she has swirling around in her mind. We'd take the time until the issue was resolved, even if it took a while.

But we can't sit up for another hour or so.

Sending her to her room is a rude reminder of what "going to school" means.

Hey, you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
Lyrics from Mr. Blue Sky by ELO

She has to get up early in the morning for school, and I had to tell her that she had to go back and try to sleep.

Now I'm sitting here, sad and frustrated that I couldn't do everything I felt called to do because of time constraints. We did what we needed to do to calm her and get her back in bed and hopefully to sleep. With school looming, though, there is no time to find stories to give her new things to think about, or to have a talk about why we sometimes like scary things and how they aren't always bad.

She asked to stay home tomorrow, right before she went back to her room, and I had to say "no". School is something to fully commit to and attendance is important.

I desperately wanted to say yes.

Taking the time to talk and spend time with her and to fix things is how we've always done things. We both miss that right now.

I feel like crying, and I didn't even read a scary book.

Make A Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:00:00 +0000

I haven't posted in a long time, and haven't posted with any regularity for even longer.

So many things have happened in the last few years, only some of it immediately positive. I have been content to let events and time pass unmentioned, allowing the bad to wash over with the good.

In the last year or so, in no particular order, my mother died after a stroke. My uncle died. My husband's grandmother died. Our neighbor died. Another neighbor died. Fathers and mothers and grandparents and brothers and sisters of friends died. Dear friends became very ill and came far too close to not being here any more. It was terrible, scary, too sad to put into words.

Friends and acquaintances died, including two who were just starting out in life. We did our best to explain things to our little one that we ourselves don't always understand. How do you explain "faith"? How do you explain "why"?

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen ~ Hebrews 11:1

In one 12-month period, ten people we knew or were related to died. We did our best to do what family and friends do. We did our best to grieve and comfort and pray. We mourned. It didn't always make sense, but we muddled through. Not easy, we're never promised easy, even when we come to expect it.

It seemed that as soon as things started to feel normal, as soon as our sea was calm, a new storm would gather and we'd find ourselves in the middle of another maelstrom. Bad things came so fast and so hard. Most of it made no sense.

We lost our elderly cat because she was old, lost our parrot to an infection brought on by nearby forest fires, lost our not-elderly cat to illness.

Smoke from nearby forest fires

Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots ~ Victor Hugo

Dennis

Small things kept us going. Our dog got sick (cancer), then got better after surgery. Thank goodness. We still have our beloved dog.

We started home schooling our kindergartner, who became our first grader; who went from not reading to reading years ahead of her age/grade levels. We did everything we could to shelter her, to protect her, to explain to her, to reason with her, to teach her, to help her. She's fine. Our older daughters are fine.

We all have each other.

We're grateful and thankful and humble.

Thank God for friends, for family, and most of all, for my husband. He always does his level best to be there. I am so thankful for him.

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort ~ Jane Austen

The storm seems to have receded for now. Calm replaces chaos, and life seems to be returning to a more normal rhythm. It seems right to write again and it seems like a good time to extend myself beyond my little world, to give back and to see what it out there.

Flansy drowsing on freshly killed tissue paper

We got a new kitten, named Flansy. She's named after John Flansburgh (half of They Might Be Giants). We love her, and while she doesn't replace the two we've lost, she makes us laugh and she loves to cuddle. We adore her. Speaking of TMBG, we went to see them recently, out first concert in years. So much fun, and a much needed alone/together night away.

Life goes on, sometimes in different directions than before.

I've recently volunteered to help with my daughter's youth group. The application asked what I'd been doing for the last several years - 5 or 7 years - something like that. I couldn't think of anything to write. I was sad, and a bit ashamed. I haven't been idle, but I haven't looked elsewhere for things to occupy my time in a very long time. I gave up being out there for being right here. Now its time to be out there again, at least some of the time.

And so, I'm here again, too.

We're Goin' Hoppin'

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:05:00 +0000

Everyone my age grew up with Dick Clark.

On Saturdays, American Bandstand came on in the early afternoon. No matter where we lived, it served as the un-official end to the hours of cartoons we'd all gotten up extra-early to watch. So, I hated AB when I was little, because it meant no more cartoons for an entire week.

Even during the week, Dick Clark could not be avoided. He was the host of a popular game show called The $10,000 Pyramid. During the summer, or if you stayed home sick from school, there he'd be, coaching celebrities and their non-famous partners, offering hints, friendly commiseration and enthusiastic congratulations.

Still, I'd watch Bandstand once in a while, because there was nothing else on (this was BC, Before Cable). It was either Dick Clark or professional wrestling.

Eventually, I realized that I preferred Bandstand to cartoons.The end of an era.

Dick Clark, Loretta Switt, & McClean Stevenson

on Pyramid

Dick Clark was our parents' age (or older), but he was still pretty cool. Before MTV, Dick Clark introduced us to bands we'd only heard on the radio. Bandstand was where we studied the dancers and the dances we practiced later with our girlfriends.

Dick Clark & The Village People

Bandstand was where you saw what teens in other parts of the country were wearing, how they styled their hair, how they did their makeup. Best of all, you got to see what they thought of the music played on the show. During the Rate-a-Record segment, teens selected from the live audience were asked to tell Dick what they liked about a song, and then to give a score. "It's got a good beat and you can dance to it" - the stereotypical phrase teens used to describe the song they'd just heard.

Rate-a-Record

Dick Clark died today^ and he will be missed.

Barry Manilow singing American Bandstand's theme,
Bandstand Boogie (which he also wrote)

Infinity

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:48:00 +0000

I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity.

Simone de Beauvoir

Egyptian symbol
for 1 million or "many"

For as long as she's been talking, Clementine, five, has been asking about numbers. For years, she has asked me half a dozen times a day, every day, to tell her what time it is. I answer, knowing that she can tell time at this point and is only asking for confirmation. She let the fact that she could tell time slip out last summer when she was taking her Kindergarten placement tests. We also discovered that she was reading well enough to answer multi-step math problems. This was only slightly surprising.

Newton's

Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica

Clementine has always been all about math. She gets it from her daddy. Dan is an engineer and thinks in the same terms, sees the world the same way.

solid figures by ppdigital,
by permission of MorgueFile^

This way of viewing the world is foreign to me. I am not all about the math and really have to think about it sometimes. It helps to tie math to something concrete. For me, geometry works better if I'm calculating something real, a wall to be painted, for example.How much fabric to buy to make a dress.Real stuff.

finger symbols for numbers,

from the 16th Century

Because their thinking is foreign, I find it fascinating to watch Clementine make all these connections that don't always seem obvious at first. Dan, too. I love to listen to him explain something new. I love to observe the way these two think about the world.

the Ancient Egyptian symbol for 100,000,

a frog or tadpole

Clementine learned to skip count by 2s recently, and the next day, she taught herself to count by 3s and 4s. 5s were easy, because they repeat a pattern of 5 & 0, but she quickly taught herself 6s and 7s, too. Clementine asked about 9s, and we taught her the rule (the "ones" number goes down by one and the "tens" number goes up up by one as you count up). The next day, she knew her 8's, figuring how to take away 2 instead of the "take away 1" from the 9 rule. On Monday, she asked about 11s, and was counting them within minutes.

Six 6's by alvimann,
by permission of MorgueFile^

Clementine asks several times a day about what will happen if you add two specific numbers. Or if you subtract them. Or what would happen if you added them to negative numbers (which she calls "minus numbers", and has understood since she was tiny). Or what would happen if one number was a minus number, and one number was a positive number.And so on. She thinks about numbers and sees patterns all day every day.

peeling numbers by chelle,
by permission of MorgueFile^

And Clemetine constantly asks about infinity. She's fascinated by the concept, and is always asking different questions about it, trying to find a way to push the idea of an endless number into a space she can handle. We've explained that it isn't a real number, but a concept, an idea about numbers. She loves that part. She wants to be reassured that you can
"always add one more".

train tracks by DarrenHester,

by permission of MorgueFile^

Clementine seems to worry about infinity a bit sometimes. One day, I showed her the symbol for the concept. I"See, it goes around and around. It never stops." She "got" it and loved it.

This is infinity:

lemniscate

In math and physics, the figure-8 infinity symbol on its side is called a lemniscate. Like a Mobius Strip, it never ends.

I showed her this, from my own childhood:

There are other, similar lemniscates in math: the lemniscate of Bernoulli,^ the lemniscate of Gerono^, and who can forget the lemniscate of Booth^?

Pythagoras

Recently, we went out and grabbed a bite after a busy day. We were given a number, an 8 on a red acrylic disk so that our food could be brought to our table.

Einstein at the blackboard

Clementine, put the number in the holder, declaring that, "Our number isn't 8, it's infinity!"

Not an 8!

Infinity!

Watching her thoughts unfold is like trying to talk to someone with whom you don't share a common language. You know that they probably make sense somewhere, but not necessarily to you.

I love her so much, for so many things, including letting me see what is important and what makes sense in her world.

Namaste

deena

Tangentially Speaking (or) How to Waste 20 Minutes In No Time Flat

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 05:08:00 +0000

I read a brief article earlier about a local man who is facing several years in prison and up to $100,00.00 in fines for picking up a Rocky Mountain Big Horned Sheep skull, possibly cougar killed, and trying to sell it without getting it "plugged". It doesn't sound like the man poached the ram. It sounds like he may not have been aware of the rules. I feel sort of bad for him. If he doesn't hunt, he may not know all the rules surrounding a specific species. I hope he's allowed to simply learn from what sounds like an honest mistake.

Bachelor Herd

Now, I had no idea what a "plugged" skull was; so of course, I spent the next 20 minutes trying to figure it out. We have some Pronghorn skulls with horns, and I want to be on the right side of the law.

Plus, I like to know what I know I don't know. And I really like minutiae - details are everything.

So...

/insert 20 minutes of Googling here/

A plugged skull means that the Division of Wildlife has tagged it in a way that allows the skull to be recorded with the who/what/when/where/how details. It helps assure it wasn't poached, and tells the DoW a bit about the distribution of the animal, how it died, how it lived, etc. Usually, the plug is an aluminum thingy (it's a technical term, I swear) placed in a hole drilled into one of the horns.

Yay, knowledge!

Bachelor Herd laying in a meadow.

They walked right past us, as if they hadn't a care in the world.

The law doesn't seem to apply to Pronghorn, not that we would sell our mounts anyway. They were earned the hard way: getting up early, standing in the cold, trying to get close enough (which is still several hundred yards away) to take a shot. Track, clean, deliver to the butcher, pick up, tada! You're in ~~flavor country~~ Pronghorn country.

So, good to know, but it took at least 20 minutes to figure all this out.

Whoever said the Internet saves time/effort clearly doesn't know me at all.

There are a couple of pictures of Rocky Mountain Big Horn Sheep (and Dan) a few miles from our house in a local park in this post. Taken a few summers ago, there were dozens of rams, and they calmly walked right past us on all sides, then nestled down in the meadow uphill a bit to snooze. I think this is what is called a bachelor herd, because they are all male (see the horns?). Until a male manages to start his own a harem of females (really, it's called a harem), they live alone or in bachelor herds. We didn't make any sudden moves, and they reciprocated by not goring us or stampeding.

Bachelor Rams and Dan

Good times.

Namaste.

deena

The First Snow of Autumn

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:09:00 +0000

We woke up Saturday to cold weather and snow. Clementine was almost impossible to get moving. She complained about the cold and didn't want to get out from under the covers on our bed after I finished putting her hair up.

After ballet, we ran a few errands. Even after the snow stopped down here, we could see a storm up on Pikes Peak. Here are a few photos from around town...

From the parking lot on the way to the tire store. Dan needed new tires and I'd promised myself that we'd carve out time to get them by the end of the week. There is a snow storm on top of the mountain, and the snow is blowing from the top toward the north.

Snow storm with blowing storm at the top of Pikes Peak. It was dry, sunny and cold down here as we watched the storm. After 11 years here, I still find all of this simply fascinating and love to watch it unfold.

What looks like the top of the mountain in the previous picture is really the top of the storm, as seen here.

Later in the day, the sun is beginning to set. Taken at the end of Academy Blvd, in the parking lot of the grocery store. I think that we probably have the best view in the world from this grocery store.

Pikes Peak as the sun sets, with Academy Blvd. in view.

America The Beautiful was written after Katherine Bates in 1893. Bates was an English professor at Wellesley College, and was inspired after a trip to the top of Pikes Peak. She was spending the summer locally, teaching at Colorado College. You can certainly see where the line about purple mountain majesties came from, can't you?

I've lived all over the United States, and the sunsets out west, and particularly over the Rockies, stand out for their beauty and breathtaking color.

The last few moments of daylight... time for us to go home, have dinner, and happily snuggle together against the cold autumn night.

Namasté

deena

Amused...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:01:00 +0000

Just when I think I have a handle on the simplest things, Clementine cheerfully shows me that I'm not even close. She always manages to think of things I couldn't have predicted in a million years and I end up like this:

Earlier today, we were reviewing her math lesson...

Me: So, remember talking about symmetry? How some shapes have symmetry, like hearts, squares, and circles? You can divide symmetrical shapes to get two identical parts. The parts will always be the same size and shape.

Things in nature have symmetry, like leaves and flowers on many plants.
(shows picture)

Me: Nature seems to like symmetry. Many insects have symmetry. They are the same on both sides. They are balanced so that they can fly. If they were unbalanced, heavier on one side, it would be hard to fly, wouldn't it?
(shows picture)

from here^, used with permission

Clementine: Yes. Ladybugs are the same on both sides, too.
Me: Yes! You're right. Many things we make have symmetry, like buildings and spoons. This is the Taj Mahal, in India. Look at the symmetry. Both sides are the same.
(shows picture of the Taj Mahal, and a spoon)

from here, used with permission^

Me: People have a lot of symmetry. We have two eyes, one on each side. Two ears, one on each side. And our paired features are usually the same size, are in the same place, and are usually the same color. We usually have two eyes the same color and shape, right? We have two feet. Animals have two pairs of feet.

Clementine: Yes. except some people and some cats have different colored eyes. Like Dustbunny.

Background: Dustbunny was our cat, who passed away a few years ago. She had one blue eye and one golden eye. She was deaf and had a neurological malformation called CH - Cerebellar Hypoplasia^, which made her stagger and stumble). CH happens when the mother cat gets sick when she is carrying kittens. Distemper is a common cause.
Me: Right. Exactly. Most people and most animals have at least some symmetry. People and four-legged animals have an invisible middle line and mirrored features on either side of that line. That line is called the line of symmetry^. Your line of symmetry runs from the top of your head, through the middle of your nose, through your belly button, and between your feet. One side looks like the other in reverse.

Can you show me the line of symmetry here? Some of these figures have it, some don't. Ask me if you have questions. Okay?

Clementine: Okay. (draw draw draw)

Clementine's lines of symmetry

Me: Awesome! You got them all! Now, some figures have more than one line of symmetry. Squares, for example. You can go top to bottom, or side to side and get the same shapes which will be the same size. Can you find all of the lines of symmetry here? There may be more than just two.

Clementine: Okay. (draw draw draw, quickly finding all four lines of symmetry).

Clementine's four lines of symmetry in a square

Me: Awesome! Yay! There is a picture that people think of when they think of symmetry. It's called the Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci. Leonardo was was thinking about a book when he drew it, which is how the picture gets its name. The guy who wrote the book was Vitruvius, who lived in Ancient Rome.He wrote a book about using the measurements and symmetry in the human body to build buildings. Vitruvius is who the Vitruvian Man is named for.
(shows picture of Vitruvian Man)

Vitruvian Man, by Leonardo da Vinci

Clementine: (looks briefly at Leonardo's drawing): But he's not symmetrical, Mommy. One of his eyes is different from the other.

Me: (looking closely) I think he's drawn with a shadow that...

Clementine: He's like Dustbunny. Was he deaf? Did he wobble when he walked? Did his Mommy have bad tempers like Dustbunny's mommy? Do you think he was really moody?

Me: o.0

At this point, the questions are piling up and I have no answers. This is me, in cat form:

Huh?

After a few minutes, we get everything straightened out and we finish the review and move on.

It's just a shadow, he does not have different eyes (at least, that's what I'm going with).

I'm sure his Mommy was fine. Please don't worry.

He probably did not wobble because he looks really strong and healthy.

It's distemper, not bad temper. People don't get it (at least I hope not). Probably ought to look it up. She'll hold me to the answer.

He is supposed to represent the perfect human, so he probably was not deaf.

What a smarty pants cat might look like.
Image from an antique postcard

So, I survived another day with my little smarty pants and will live to be befuddled by her another day.

And Clementine knows a lot about symmetrical shapes and cats with CH.

Not bad for a Monday.

Namasté

deena

We Shall Find Peace

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 00:00:00 +0000

photo by dpawatts^

We shall find peace.

We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.

Anton Chekov, Uncle Vanya

Namasté

deena

I don't know. I've never kipled

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 05:08:00 +0000

Which is, of course, the punchline to the joke, "Do you like Kipling?"

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

I read a poem a few weeks ago, and it really spoke to me, as they say. Its by Rudyard Kipling^ titled, The Gods of the Copybook Headings, and is about having the common sense illustrated in the mottoes of copybooks. I fell in love with the pictures painted by the words, and the sentiment.

Rudyard Kipling, who Kipled his entire life.

Life would be wonderful if we all exhibited simple common sense. It would be Heaven on Earth if we practiced and worked to do the very best we could.

The poem in a moment...

First, some background: Copybooks were books that students copied to learn good penmanship, considered a critical business skill starting sometime in the 18th century. Copybooks existed before then, though, and there are examples online which date back as far as at least 1658. The Pen's Triumph: A Copybook, by Edward Cocker^ (c. 1658), which is a free download at Archive.org^ is one example.

The books often included intricate pictures made from pen strokes were included, to be copied. This is one such drawing, of a stag:

And this one, of a bird, with a suitably inspiring motto:

And this horse. This is what you did, over and over if you wanted to have beautiful handwriting:

I do not have beautiful handwriting.

The student made as exact a copy as possible. At the top of each page, there were mottoes and common-sense sayings, including Bible verses and historical quotes, meant to give moral lessons to the student, as well as to teach handwriting. This verse was called the copybook heading.

I don't know of anyone who uses copybooks anymore, other than a few homeschoolers, which is a shame since copying verse does seem to help with memory and results in beautiful handwriting.

So, back to the poem. Here it is:

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

by Rudyard Kipling

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

The imagery is wonderful. Dinosaurs and monkeys and dogs and fire and wizards.

The message (that we may have to learn even common sense things through experience and not observation) is sort of depressing. Made even more depressing, because my own experience says that this is true. Truth is awesome, even when its depressing.

I really think that this is my favorite poem.

What do you think?
Namasté.
deena

Sunday morning...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 15:24:00 +0000

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

Dr. Seuss

Namasté,
deena

This week is...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 05:03:00 +0000

So much better.

Much less stress, so much more peace.

I want to thank everyone who sent a note or an email or called about Petey last week. It made a bad week not-nearly so bad.

Thank you so much.

I was looking through some photos tonight and wanted to share these, from a city park near our house. We go here for picnics sometimes, and always take out-of-town guests, as it is a great place to see wildlife.

These were taken after a heavy rainstorm, and sort of typify the past week for me.

Namaste,

deena

Petey

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 05:44:00 +0000

This has been the worst week, and I am so glad it is over and done with. I spent today writing emails and making phone calls after discovering that my daughter's school materials (which had come earlier in the week) had arrived without of couple of the key components which I will need Monday morning.

Monday morning.

As in: the office is closed until Monday. I have been kicking myself all day long.

I blame myself because I should have checked as soon as the material arrived, but I didn't because...

My husband had a pretty substantial (but hopefully very temporary) change at work, and I did my very best to be supportive. I think I was pretty successful, but I probably should have done more to stay on track in other areas. I might have made it, too, but for one thing...

The unthinkable happened, which pretty much blew the whole rest of the week for me.

My husband noticed that our kitty, Petey, was acting weird. She was actually acting super-friendly and cuddly. Petey is normally shy and retiring, afraid of everything loud and busy, especially Clementine, so it really was odd. Right after he mentioned her to me, I picked her up and snuggled with her, and immediately noticed a strange scent. Her breath smelled strangely sour - a smell I was sadly familiar with. It was galvanizing.

Petey

I lost a cat, Winnie, years ago to kidney failure, and though I didn't know it then, soon found out that the scent was a byproduct of the illness. I smelled it as soon as I picked Winnie up that morning. She was acting odd, and I asked my (now) ex-husband to take her to the vet. He did, and soon the vet called to tell me she was in kidney failure, that there was nothing to be done.

I decided to have her put down. I can't remember the details, but I couldn't go into town that day, and never saw Winnie again.

I'd had Winnie since before we had children.
Since before we lived in the country.
Since before we lived in the state, or even the state before that.
Several houses, and two children and three states away. So much crammed into so little time.

We'd been through so much and she was so loving and she died without me. She was only five. I've never forgotten it.

Our vet was in town, quite a ways from home, near my (then) husband's office, and because there was nothing the vet could do for Winnie, my (then) husband went and held her while she was put to sleep, a kindness I will never forget and can never repay. I couldn't be there, and I couldn't make her wait until I could.

So, when I picked up Petey and smelled that smell, I wanted so badly to be wrong. As the evening progressed, I was less and less able to convince myself. Petey slept on our bed, cuddled with us, and seemed so frail and weak. Petey was not old and had not been sick, and the smell... I just knew.

Dan and I petting Petey together

Dan called early the next morning, got an 8:30 appointment, and I took Petey in. Our vet saw her and gently examined her, and took blood. He told me that he was going to keep her and would call me with the results, but something in his voice told me what I didn't want to hear. I cried all the way home.

The vet called within the hour and told me the news - she was in kidney failure. Her numbers were too high to accurately measure. There was nothing he could do. He would try if I wanted him to, but it probably wouldn't be a permanent fix and... I don't know what else he said, but I told him I'd talk to Dan and call back.

Dan and I decided to have her put down. There is no way to justify making an animal suffer if there is no way for them to get better.

Dan called our vet. I laid down on the bed and cried.

We went over a bit later, and we all held her and petted her while she was eased out of her pain.

Petey's beautiful golden-green eyes

She died before the vet had finished the injection.

It was painless and quiet.

We weren't sure, right before, if Clementine should see the process. Our vet said that he thought Clementine would be okay, but that she could leave if she wanted, one of us would go with her. That's what we told her.

But Clementine asked to stay, and we are all glad she did because right before the injection, Petey raised up and nuzzled Clementine, wanting to be petted. In the moments before she died, she snuggled with Clementine, something she almost never did. Clementine has always been too active and full of energy for shy little Petey.

We all cried. I am so grateful that Clementine's last moments with Petey were good. Grateful to Petey for one last gift. Thankful and grateful to God or whomever arranges such things in the Universe for giving our small child the priceless gift of acceptance and love from our cherished pet.

Thursday, we all went together at lunchtime and picked up Petey's ashes. I've never had a pet cremated before, but I badly needed to have her back, though I'm still not sure why.

Me and Petey

Today we got a note about Petey's passing from the vet. It was moving and heartfelt. We will always cherish it.

So.

I should have looked through the material, and I have a good excuse as to why I didn't. But that doesn't really matter and now I'm kicking myself.

Having written this, though, I think I'll stop kicking myself. I think I'd rather spend my time thinking of other things, doing other things.

My cat is in a tasteful gray box on the mantle. I wish she wasn't, but I thank her for her love and companionship, and am glad to have the reminder.

My husband is home in bed, tired, after a good, productive, but slightly hectic week at work. I'm glad he's here. I hope the "slightly hectic" is ever-so temporary. I will be joining him upstairs soon.

My sweet daughter is asleep in her bed. She asks questions about Petey several times a day. She thinks Petey is in Heaven with my Dad, and my cat Winnie, and her sister's cat, and the dog my dad had when he was a boy.

Clementine never met my Dad, his dog, Winnie, or her sister's cat. Petey gave her a connection to all those people and pets. All those souls and personalities. She knows that Petey is with them all, and is closer to them as a result.

Thank you, sweet Petey.

Thank you so much for everything.

We will all miss you and we will not ever forget you.

Sixteen Questions

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 23:02:00 +0000

From Mrs. G, who is always funny and thoughtful^.

1) Do you support gay marriage?

Yes. I think if straight people get married, gay people should have to, too.

Honestly: it's a human rights issue, and I can't believe that it is even a question for most people. Love isn't a zero-sum game. If gay people get married, it does not diminish love or marriage for anyone else. Happy marriages are good for everyone in our society. Also, I think that this is a defining issue for Americans. Someday, those who vocally oppose gay marriage will be scorned and will be look at in the same way that we look down on those who opposed the civil rights movement.

I should have added: Those who call themselves small-government conservatives, who want the government out of their lives, who then also demand that the government should decide which adults can and can't get married, are hypocrites.

Those people should remember not to whine and cry when that same government moves to restrict their lives in ways that scare and anger them. It is inevitable. It always happens. Why they will act surprised when it does is beyond me.

Freedom isn't just for one group. It's for all Americans. Restrict it for some, and it will be restricted for all. That is how giving power to the government works and has always worked.

And it isn't about whether or not you "approve" of gay marriage or not. It's okay it you don't. You don't have to like it. It's about whether or not you can maintain your freedoms in the face of denying freedom to others.

2) How old are you, beautiful?

Old enough to be pleased when someone tells me that I look great for being in my mid-30's.

3) What is the strangest thing you have ever put on a peanut butter sandwich?

Bananas and mayonnaise, according to my husband.

4) Are you comfortable wearing a two piece bathing suit to the beach?

Good Lord, no.

5) Are you honest with your spouse/significant other about everything?

I try to be, but I also try to curb my sharp tongue, so maybe not always. <--- probably a good thing.

6) Are you offended by the adult book "Go the F*ck to Sleep?"

No. I wish it was a series.
Go the F*ck to the Bathroom.
Time to Go the F*ck to the Dentist.
Pick Up Your F*cking Toys.
And so on.

7) Be honest, do you regularly find yourself judging people? On what basis: looks, intelligence, prosperity?

Yes. Intelligence and wisdom. Looks are transient, and there are some good reasons not to be wealthy. There is no reason at all to be misinformed or ignorant, though.

I should have added, Honesty.

8) What's the most you've ever spent on a piece of clothing?

A few hundred dollars for a prom dress, back in the dark ages, when that was a lot of money.

My wedding dresses didn't cost anywhere near as much as that dress. It was gorgeous, though. Lavender, with yards and yards of tulle, like a long ballet tutu, with a satin bodice. More or less like this, except this is Barbie's prom dress, not mine:

9) On a scale of one to ten (one being "not much"), how would you rate the importance of your online relationships?

Depends. Some of them are very important to me. A few aren't. So, on a scale of one to ten, most of them would be 9s or 10s. A few are as low as 3 or 4.

10) Do you think sexting counts as infidelity?

Yes. Intimacy is about more than sex.

11) Is Jax from Sons of Anarchy too young (he's 31) to be mancaked?

I have no idea what that means. He's a cutie, though.

12) Do you have a blog?

Yes. This is it.

13) Approximately how many blogs do you read?

A lot. Like, maybe 100 or so. Almost all of them in RSS. Politics, science, geeky stuff, crafts, and food, mostly.

14) What are three blogs you can't wait to read each day (please don't include this one or your own)?

Volokh Conspiracy^ (politics and legal stuff), Zoo Borns^ (cute animal stuff), and Wired Science^ (science-y stuff).

15) George or Johnny?

Johnny.
Seriously.
Why even ask?

16) What current trend are you tired of hearing about day after day?

Most of them? Hmmmm... If I had to pick one, it would be the latest idiocy from the Republican Party. As a former Republican, I have trouble believing the disturbing pattern of bigotry and prejudice that spews forth with no one in leadership denouncing any of it.

I would have added, had I thought about it, that I'm still pretty conservative on most issues. Actually, I'm pretty libertarian on most issues, but that's harder to explain. People understand "conservative". Not many people understand "libertarian".

Ballet, Baseball, and Soup

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 03:20:00 +0000

We've had a busy week.

Preparing for a business trip. The last ballet rehearsal for the season. The first baseball of the season. And Dan has been on call. We're always thankful for on-call weeks, because they encourage us to stay close to home, which tends to result in more relaxed time together as a family. A good thing, as Martha Stewart says.

Still, we were out and about a bit.

The first baseball practice of the season was on Tuesday. Clementine's team was assigned and she met her coach for the first time. Dan helped coach last year, and probably will again. He has as much fun as she does.

If you've never seen really little kids playing baseball, you're missing out. Children scatter everywhere when the ball is hit, and they run all over the field for no reason at all. Last year, two kids skipped off to chase butterflies while their team was in the field. Lots of fun.

first practice of the season

Domo-Kun proudly wearing this year's team colors

We had our last ballet rehearsal this week. Clementine's recital is this weekend (she's a dancing flower, the program is Little Red Riding Hood).

It is every bit as cute and sweet as you might think.

The last practice of the year

We spent a late afternoon outside after work one day, one planting flowers and tomatoes, and re-potting some indoor plants.

We have a few tiny tomatoes already!

what we're hoping for
from here^

Clementine has been worried over a barrel of marigold seeds we planted last year. We went outside every week toward the end of summer, deadheading the flowers and scratching in the dirt to plant the seeds.

She fussed over them all winter and spring, and grew terribly concerned that they wouldn't come up this year. It took us a moment, but we were finally able to find the little leaflets of the new plants this week. I was happy because I'd all but promised that they would be back.

Marigolds
from here^

And Clementine was happy because our "sleeping" seeds from last year decided to return.

We took time to play outside in the water with Clementine, and to enjoy the sun and heat after what seemed like an endless winter and a cold spring. Welcome back, summer.

Dennis enjoying the sun

A few months back, I managed to take the tip of my finger off on a mandoline cutter, cutting carrots for the dehydrator. This is what a mandoline cutter may look like:

(okay, probably not)

This is what a mandoline cutter actually looks like:

the real deal

Mandoline cutters make short work of veggies, and are capable of making very thin cuts without mangling the produce. Perfect for dehydrators and recipes that require thin slivers. Thin slivers means that the blades have to be very sharp. And they are. There are warnings all over the thing, and all over the box it comes in, telling you that it has really sharp blades.

Apparently, even though I read the warnings, I didn't take it to heart the first time. Bye-bye fingertip. Been good to know ya.

Ignore obvious warnings
at your own peril

This time was different. I managed to make it through several pounds of onions in a few minutes with all of my remaining fingers intact. The difference? I used the &^%%$&-ing guard, just like the directions said to do.

The resulting French onion soup was delicious. We had it in bowls with gluten-free bread and melted cheese one night, and as an accompaniment to turkey and mushroom sandwiches the next.

In case anyone wonders:

Yes, your fingertip will grow back, but it will be incredibly sensitive compared to other, older hand parts. It almost hurts to touch anything with any sort of pressure.
When it grows back, it mat be flat at the tip, even if the other index finger is more rounded.
I don't know if my fingerprint is different or not. The whorls and ridges look the same to me.
I have no idea how long the sensitivity lasts or if the sensitivity ever ends. It is good to have this sort of sensation for working in clay though, so I'm good with it either way.
Mandolines are devices which are used in the kitchen to cut food.
Mandolins are a type of lute.

Woman in a Toque with a Mandolin
Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (1796-1875

The greatest of these is love

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 01:13:00 +0000

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
and never stops at all.

~ Emily Dickinson ~

My dad, who died in 2004, would have had his birthday this week.

This week, and the week that he died in are always difficult for me. Some are worse than others, though I am never quite sure why.

I am happy and glad that our oldest daughters knew him.

I am sad beyond measure that Clementine will never know him. She would have adored him, and he would have adored her.

Dan met him only once. I wish Dan could have gotten to know him when my dad was healthy and whole.When he was himself. He would have loved Dan, and Dan would have loved him. They have a lot in common.

We must accept finite disappointment,

but never lose infinite hope.

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.~

Every day, I miss my dad, and mourn him.

What you can't understand until you have lost someone important, is that the feeling of loss will never leave you. It isn't until after you lose someone that you come to understand what it means to mourn.

It gets better.

It gets worse.

It never goes away.

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
~ Matthew 5:4 ~

Eventually, you come to confront the elemental understanding that it isn't supposed to ever go away, because it has become a part of you in the way that the person you loved was a part of you. Until they are a part of you again, you will feel the loss.

After that, at some point, you come to understand that it is good that the feelings of loss never leaves you.

You come to understand that you will always mourn while you are here and they are not.

You will mourn and miss and hope and have faith until you do see them again.

from here^

But now remain faith, hope, and love: these three.

The greatest of these is love.

~1 Corinthians 13:13~

...the full value of joy

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 05:16:00 +0000

To get the full value of joy

You must have someone to divide it with.

~ Mark Twain~

2011 Year of the Rabbit Stamp
from Taiwan

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and
give thanks for another day of loving.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

by phaewilk^ at Morguefile^

Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
Everything is, everything exists, only because I love.
Everything is united by it alone.
Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.

~ Leo Tolstoy ~

by ppdigital^, at Morguefile^

Happy Sunday!

A Simple Woman...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 05:22:00 +0000

Every month, I remind myself to participate in the thought provoking Simple Woman's Daybook^. It's a series of questions to answer on your blog or journal. Reading the answers other women have given written always gives me a sense of who they are and what is important to them.

But every month, I don't. I don't know why I don't, because the questions are great and I do want to. Sometimes I start, but I never finish. I'm odd like that.

So this month, I forced myself. I' m so happy that I did. It didn't hurt a bit, and I like my answers, which is unusual, and I normally don't like much of anything I write.

Here they are...

Outside my window...
a ruggedly handsome man. From here, he looks to be grilling carmelized onion-chicken burgers.

I am thinking...
about a conversation I had with a friend a few days ago about (other) friends who believe in improbable, often wacky conspiracy-theories. I once read that people who believe such things are usually brighter than normal, which may be what allows them to discern and latch onto what seem to be patterns and coincidences (but which aren't really there). Once ensnared, confirmation bias carries them over the it's-a-conspiracy goal-line.

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

(Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 5)

So, I wonder why I haven't ever fallen for anything like this.

Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am.

Maybe we don't always know when we have a blip on the ol' logic detector and I have fallen for something unawares. This is my least faorite possible scenario.

Maybe I've just been very lucky (so far).

“In fact, one thing that I have noticed . . . is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.”

Brian E. Moore

Maybe there is no good reason at all.

More things in politics happen by accident or exhaustion than happen by conspiracy.
Jeff Greenfield

::shrugs::

Also, I am thinking...
about having grilled caramelized onion-chicken burgers.

With a ruggedly handsome man.

I am thankful for...
ruggedly handsome men who love to cook, having my dog home again (he was at doggie daycare for the last week while Dan was gone), my family, my friends, my home, and being able to enumerate simple pleasures.

I am blessed.

We are blessed.

From the learning rooms...
I have promised myself that I will re-learn how to cable knit if it kills me. Hoping it doesn't, but I'm prepared for the worst.

From the kitchen...
grilled caramelized onion-chicken burgers with mango-Serrano salsa, fresh corn on the cob, melon, and s'mores (with GF graham crackers) for dessert.

I am wearing...
a black cotton knit shirt, a tan skirt with blue and yellow flowers, and the silver bracelet I always wear. It was a gift from Dan, and I cherish it.

I am creating...
the finishing touches on a long languishing, soon-to-be-felted knit handbag. I started it last year. It's in autumn-y colors, which made sense at the time, because it was early autumn. I hope to have it done before the middle of the month so that I can start one in summer colors. I hope to have it finished while we're still in summer, but recognize that the blues and greens will probably go well in winter, when it is most likely to actually be finished. Also, I'm working on a a handbag made from vintage bark cloth. It's handbag week here, I guess.

I am going...
to be quilting later this week. I finally have enough vintage bedsheets in the right colors to start (and finish) a quilt in oranges, yellows, pinks, and reds.

I am reading...
Living Crafts magazine, which came in the mail today, and which I so look forward to. The editors and staff are able to capture and showcase the work of so many talented individuals, and the writing perfectly captures the mood in the photos (which are always gorgeous). Also, Babbitt, by Sinclair Lewis. It's one of my favorite books, and I read it from time to time to gain clarity.

I am hoping...
to get my nose pierced this week. It used to be, then it grew over. My face looks empty without it. Go figure.

I am hearing...
that Sarah Palin is considering running for President and has asked Donald Trump to consider running, too. They could run together and call it the You're Fire/I Quit ticket.

I have very little respect for Donald Trump and very little for anyone who would publicly bolster him by lending him any sort of respectability. So, phooey.

Around the house...
I have some laundry to do, and a schedule to make before I go to bed tonight. I want to re-do the spare room downstairs to use as a craft room/study, and want it to be as complete as possible before the first of August when I hope to put new shelving on the larges expanse of wall. So, it's time to schedule all that. I love schedules. And lists. Make them all the time. Sometimes, I even follow them.

Also, I'll be making laundry detergent tomorrow. I make it from scratch. It's easy and quick to make, it works at least as well as the store bought kind, and a batch lasts about a year and a half. And it smells better.

The best part: it costs about seven dollars for the entire batch. Seven dollars for a year-and-a-half.

The cheapest detergent at the grocery store does about 32 loads for $7.99. I was using one of the ones which was perfume and dye-free, so it cost more because they left stuff out.

32 loads for $7.99 comes to about .25 per load. We wash at least 1.5 loads a day, times 365 days a year. That comes to 547.5 loads a year, 821.25 loads in a year and a half. Minimum. $205.31 dollars every 18 months.

Versus $7.00.

And the neat thing is that without artificial perfumes, I can add natural essential oils. I added Frankincense and Myrrh (the real things) the last time. I already had it to scent some soap, so the carrier oils (what the teensy scented bits float around in) are safe for the skin and non-irritating.

And it smells wonderful. I will post photos and my recipe later this week.

One of my favorite things...
sitting outside in the summer as the sun sets over Pikes Peak, grilling on the back deck, eating on the patio table outside with family and/or friends. We did that tonight for the first time this year. It was lovely.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
working on our bedroom this weekend. I'd like to sort through some stuff for donation, to make it easier to repaint this summer, which is my goal. I should probably share my goal with Dan. Hi, Honey! I want to paint our room!

Here is picture I am sharing...
actually three.

First, one of our three beautiful daughters,

on Dan's family's farm

Second, one of Clementine petting a horse on the farm.

She loves horses more than almost everything else,

so you can only imagine how wonderful it was

for her to be able to pet

and snuggle with a real horse.

Third, this is a brick path on the farm that Dan,

his cousin, and grandfather (who has since passed)

built about 30 years ago.

And those are Clementine's feet on the very same path.

So precious.

Memorial Day

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Mon, 30 May 2011 15:10:00 +0000

I think it is fitting that Memorial Day marks the start of summer. Summer is a time of freedom, a time to enjoy all of the best things about our nation. Spending time in nature, spending time with friends and family, traveling, visiting beautiful places throughout our nation.

Remember all the things we have to be thankful for, and remember all of the men and women who came before us, giving everything to secure our freedom.

Have a happy, peaceful, and safe Memorial Day.

And welcome, summer.

from here^

Perform, then, this one act of remembrance before this Day passes - Remember there is an army of defense and advance that never dies and never surrenders, but is increasingly recruited from the eternal sources of the American spirit and from the generations of American youth.
~ W.J. Cameron

antique image

They hover as a cloud of witnesses above this Nation.
~ Henry Ward Beecher

from here^

Your silent tents of green
We deck with fragrant flowers;
Yours has the suffering been,
The memory shall be ours.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

antique image

All we have of freedom, all we use or know -
This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.
~ Rudyard Kipling

from here^

I have never been able to think of the day as one of mourning; I have never quite been able to feel that half-masted flags were appropriate on Decoration Day. I have rather felt that the flag should be at the peak, because those whose dying we commemorate rejoiced in seeing it where their valor placed it. We honor them in a joyous, thankful, triumphant commemoration of what they did.
~ Benjamin Harrison

antique image

Cover them over with beautiful flowers,
Deck them with garlands, those brothers of ours,
Lying so silent by night and by day
Sleeping the years of their manhood away.
Give them the meed they have won in the past;
Give them the honors their future forecast;
Give them the chaplets they won in the strife;
Give them the laurels they lost with their life.
~ Will Carleton

from here^

The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.
~ Benjamin Disraeli

Our babies take flight

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 29 May 2011 18:25:00 +0000

In the past week, so many things have changed.

Our oldest daughter has moved, and will be attending graduate school, our youngest has graduated from preschool, and as of tonight, our middle daughter has graduated from high school.

How's that for a busy week?

from here^

I always say that I could not possibly have more wonderful children. It's true.

They are all beautiful, smart, funny, clever, kind, sharp, witty and talented.

from here^

For the week preceding graduation, Clementine told me in solemn, quiet tones that she did not want to graduate and leave her friends. She loves her teachers, and didn't want to leave them either. She insisted that she didn't want to leave the goldfish or the butterflies, or the ladybugs, or anything at her school.

We tried to reason with her.

from here^

But your new school with have those things and so many more, and you loved it when we visited. She did not want to hear this.

Your teacher is retiring this year, so even if you were there next year, she wouldn't be. Clementine did not want to hear this, either. No thanks.

from here

So we told her that we knew that moving was scary and that leaving was scary. But that if we never moved, we'd never see or do anything new. That she couldn't read well at the beginning of the year, but she could now, and she needed to move to a new school to get a new teacher who could teach her even more. And that we'd make sure she saw her friends and got to make new ones.

That seemed to help, at least a bit. But she still didn't want to go, and the night before, told me that she was afraid to go. I held her and we hugged. Dan held her and they hugged. She decided she would try to go after all.

from here^

The next day, she went to school and bravely walked across to get her diploma. She was happy to see her teachers and her friends. She was happy to have graduated.

We were so proud. She is so brave.

from here^

As we were proud last night when Caroline graduated from high school. She was accepted into the college of her choice, and will be attending in the fall. It requires a little bit of travel, and this is the first time she'll be living away from home for any period of time. We could not be prouder or happier that she is getting this opportunity. She has always been our sunniest child, and I hope that the students and faculty at her new school know just how lucky they are to get to see her every day.

from here^

And we are so proud of our oldest. She is going to be going to graduate school and has a job working with children, the most important sort of work there is. She has always been my toughest-yet-most-tender, always helpful, pragmatic, and sensible in the best way possible. She is funny, wry, and loyal.

I consider myself the luckiest mommy in the world, because anything I can say about any one of my daughters I can proudly say about all of them.

from here^

Our daughters are the never-ending joys of our lives and we are so proud and happy and blessed to be their parents.

Let's all sing like the birdies sing...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 29 May 2011 06:08:00 +0000

We've been talking about taking Clementine to Disneyland at some point. I would love for her to be able to go. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law just got back from Disney World with their kids, and it sounds like they had an wonderful time. I grew up near Disneyland and have been too many times to count. My dad always took me, and aside from being one of my favorite places, I was one of my favorite places to go with him.

Sleeping Beauty Castle at night, Disneyland

from here, used with permission^

When my dad was still alive, he and I took my older daughters to Disney World. Looking back, I know the girls will always remember the time they spent there, especially time with their grandfather. We had a blast.

My dad is gone now, and one of the few regrets in my life is that he never got to meet our youngest, Clementine. I became pregnant with her a year after he died. I know he would have loved her, and she would have simply adored him. There are so many things I'd like her to know about him. I hardly know where to start, but share everything I can think of.

I was looking around on YouTube tonight, and came across a video of the original Enchanted Tiki Room show at Disneyland and watched it a few times. The video included the talking statues of the Oceanic (island) Gods and Goddesses that are outside situated around the waiting area. I could still recite almost all of their rhymes, which surprised even me.

Toward the end of the show, the Tiki Gods came alive and sang an ever quicker song and beat drums. When I was little, they scared me to death, and I always grabbed onto my dad.

I can't be sure, but I think that the God Tangaroa was voiced by Thurl Ravenscroft. He voiced Fritz the parrot inside the attraction, and did numerous other voices throughout the park. You might know him because he sang the song You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch in the cartoon How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Most people think it was Boris Karloff, but while Boris Karloff narrated it, he didn't sing the song. Mr. Ravenscroft may be best known to most people as the voice of Tony The Tiger. They're Grrrrrreat! He did many other voices for Disney, too. Some of the pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean, ghosts in the Haunted Mansion, and probably too many others to count.

Thurl Ravenscroft as Tony

When we took my older girls, Caroline, our middle daughter, then around 5 or so, spent most of her time in the park dragging my poor dad between Tropical Serenade (which is what a show similar to the Enchanted Tiki Room is called at Disney World) and It's A Small World, while my older daughter and I went off to ride the "big kid rides" (Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, etc). My dad was always a very good sport.

Attraction poster from here,

used in the same manner as described^

The original is perfect, still there at Disneyland, and it holds so many good memories for me. Memories with my dad, and memories with my two older daughters. All good. All happy. How many things can most people say that about anything?

All happy.

All good.

Perfect.

And someday, I'd very much like to opportunity to make new memories with Clementine and Dan.

Here is that video of the original Enchanted Tiki Room Show at Disneyland. It's 17:00 long, but well-spent.

Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room

at Disneyland

Trivia: This was Walt Disney's first and original audio-animatronic project. There are about 150 different audio-animatronic characters in this show alone and the success of this show paved the way for Pirates of the Caribbean, the Hall of Presidents, Carousel of Progress (my other favorite with my dad), and so on.

Since all of the characters were controlled by big computers, and computers back then ran very hot, they had to air condition the building to keep the computers in working order. Thus, this was the first air conditioned attraction in the park. So, when I was little, this was where you went when it was super hot outside in the park. It was sooooo cold. Brrrrrrrr.

And yes, I probably do know a pretty ridiculously huge amount of Disney-related trivia. If one could make a living playing trivia games, I'd have it made.

(but you can't).

A (mostly) good weekend

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Mon, 23 May 2011 05:10:00 +0000

We've had a (mostly) good weekend.

Friday, I showed Clementine a blooming lilac bush, and asked her to smell it. Lilac is one of my favorite scents and the flowers are simply beautiful. Clementine bent down and buried her nose in the petals for a moment. Then she turned to me and said, "It smells so purple!" She's right. Lilacs do smell like purple looks. Why didn't I ever notice before?

From here^

Then Friday night, I found the shower curtain of my dreams, insofar as I might dream about shower curtains. I haven't yet, but it could happen, I guess. Anyway.

I've been looking for several weeks, and it matched all of my requirements. Not too feminine, not too masculine, not too bright, fabric, no plastic. PEVA plastics are being used as a safer alternative to PVCs, but ridding our lives of plastic (as much as possible) is still one of my long-term goals, so no plastic. Here it is:

From here^

I found it Walmart, Better Homes & Garden collection, and really like it. It's well made, matches our colors (earth tones and mossy greens and blues, to match river stone and tile), isn't too feminine, isn't too masculine, and is made from a nice heavy fabric. It has neatly sewn buttonholes at the top. The color band at the top is actually a second layer, and the medium green horizontal stripes are ribbon. The picture is from the website, because when I put it up it was late, the camera was downstairs, but the bathroom wasn't Also, I ended up getting two, because we have one of those shower rods which bows out toward the room. A regular sized curtain fit, but just barely, so we use two. They split in the middle. One neat thing about them is that since we started using two, neither the liners or curtains split at the top anymore where the holes are.

So, here's the "mostly" as in We had a (mostly) good weekend: A friend who is also a neighbor moved away on Friday; she and her husband have separated. The details aren't important. What is important is that (at least for now) their family is torn apart and we are both very sad for them and hope things work out in a way that they are all happy.

from here^

Saturday morning, Dan left early to register Clementine for summer sports, pick up the tickets to her ballet recital, and to run a couple of other errands. When he got home, we all went to run an additional few errands, stopped by the thrift store, and made it home in time to sit outside in the sun, play with the neighbor's puppy, and talk to our neighbors. The trees are finally turning green and leafy, and the grass is no longer brown. Spring has finally made it to Colorado.

from here^

Today, we went to lunch with our friend Ben, who was visiting from NYC. We took him to Conway's Redtop, a local restaurant and something of a institution around here. They serve hamburgers almost as big as a dinner plate. I had hog dogs (sans bun), and Dan joined me in solidarity, since I can't eat wheat. Clementine ate part of a hamburger, then played and goofed with a little girl whose family was also having lunch. It was good to see Ben and be able to spend a little time talking to him. I wish we lived closer.

And that was our weekend, except for this:

Speaking of the thrift store (see above), this is what Dan gave me Friday afternoon.

Bliss!

It's an Ozz Franca!^ I have a soft spot in my heart (some would say head) for horrid things of a certain vintage, and this litho of a big-eyed boy fits right in, next to my terrible bellboy monkey with creepy lenticular eyes, and the piggy bank with the creepy human face (pics available on request).

I love it.

Ilovehim (with or without paintings of big-eyed emo kids).

I'm lucky to be married to someone who indulges my love of vintage kitsch even though he may not like a lot of it, and I know it.

Thank you, sweetheart, for putting up with me and even encouraging my nuttiness sometimes.

Words of Wisdom (pretty close, anyway)

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Thu, 19 May 2011 22:42:00 +0000

One of my favorite bloggers is Mrs. G of Derfwad Manor^ (founder of the Women's Colony^) She's witty. She's sharp. She's very funny.

Mrs. G's most recent entry has Kim writing to Mrs. G^, saying that that she has been invited to a bridal shower for a nephew's bride-to-be, and has been given a 3 x 5 card with the following instructions:

"Dear _______, At this special time, my Bride-to-be advice for you is: (and then there are five lines to write on). Best Wishes," -- And on the back of the card the hostess (aunt and/or sister of the bride) has written: "Please bring this card to Barbara's shower. We'll have some fun!"

Kim asks Mrs. G, who in return asks her readers to give the bride-to-be some advice. After thinking about it, I managed to whittle it down to:

1. Treat your partner better than you would treat a stranger. If a stranger opened a door for you, you'd say "thank you", right? Why do so many people think their spouses aren't worth of the same (or better) treatment? In addition to day-to-day courtesies, thank him (her) whenever they do something thoughtful or kind. or just because.

Love, kindness, and thoughtfulness are not limited commodities; you can give them away and they will never run out.

2. Go to bed angry rather than fight. Laying in the dark, side by side, drifting off to sleep next to your beloved (even when you are as mad as a wet hen) has a way of taking the heat out of the fire. Also, problems have a way of shrinking down to a manageable size overnight. So, go to sleep angry.

3. Never pass up the chance to tell your partner how proud and happy you are to be his wife (her husband). Never pass up the chance to tell them how grateful you are for his hard work. Never forget why you married this wonderful man (woman).

4. Know the difference between want and need. Needs are things you have to have. Wants are things you'd like to have. Don't make heavy demands on your spouse to fulfill your wants, but do all you can to get your needs met and to meet your partner's needs.

5. Ask what you can do for your partner, then listen carefully to the answer. Show interest in subjects that your spouse is interested in. You don't have to have everything in common, but it's good to have some things to fall back on during times of stress. Just listen.

But Kim asked for five lines, right? Whittled and pared down to the bare bones, I came up with:

1. Treat your spouse with the care & manners you would show strangers.
2. Go to bed angry rather than escalate a fight when you are tired.
3. Tell them how proud & happy you are to be their spouse.
4. Know the difference between what you want & need. Act accordingly.
5. Be a good listener and show interest in their interests.

I can think of other things, but those are the basics. Treat your sweetheart as you'd like to be treated. Treat them better than anyone else. Never let him (her) forget how important they are to you. Always remember why you married him (her).

Namaste

deena

Lesson learned...

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sat, 14 May 2011 04:30:00 +0000

My voice is hoarse and rough today and I'm feeling sort of icky (due to the changing weather and seasonal allergies) , so in a raspy, scratchy voice just slightly above a whisper, I asked Clementine to ask her dad to RSVP by phone to a birthday party she had been invited to. He was downstairs, I was upstairs, and I thought it would be quicker and easier to ask her to ask him.

antique French Poster

It wasn't.

Me: I need you to ask Daddy to make a phone call. Say, 'RSVP to this party, please.'

Clementine (trying to sound it out in her head): Why? What does it spell?

Me: It's an acronym (we've covered acronyms before). It stands for répondez s'il vous plaît. It means, 'please respond' in French (said in my in best I-took-Spanish-not-French-accent). It's asking the person who gets it to answer 'yes' or 'no' so that the sender will know whether or not the person who got the invitation is coming to an event or not. It's on most invitations and we always try to make sure we do it, because it's a sign of good manners. It's a big girl thing.

Clementine: Okay...

cover of vintage book of manners

Me: So, say to Daddy, 'RSVP, please'.

Clementine: RVSP, please

Me: No. 'R-S-V-P'
Clementine: R-S-S-P, please
Me: No, 'R---S---V---P'. Please
Clementine: R-V-P-P, please
Me: No, 'R----S----V-----P'
Clementine: R-S-V-P
Me: Yes, perfect. Thank you.

antique French poster

Clementine smiles and skips off. I spend the next minute or so patting myself on the back, proud, because I've taught her what RSVP means, and that it's polite to respond when we get one. Manners and French in one fell swoop? How awesome is that?

cover of vintage book of manners

A few moments later...

Clementine: DADDY, PLEASE R-S-V-P TO THIS PARTY. OKAY? R-S-V-P TO THIS PARTY. PLEASE R-S-V-P TO THIS PARTY. DADDY...

I'm upstairs, down a hallway and behind a closed door. She's yelling loud enough to make me wince. She wasn't being rude on purpose. I could hear the excitement of being asked to do a "big girl" task for Mommy.

Still: imagine what it was like in person.

Clearly, I'd remembered to stress Manners and to throw in a few words of French, but totally forgot to touch on the Don't Yell Indoors lesson which we've covered so many times in the past.

My bad.

A few minutes later, she returns...

Clementine: Daddy says if I scream like that again, I'm not going to the party. I said I won't do it again, so I am going.

Before I could say anything else, she was off to her room to tell her stuffed ponies about the party.

Sigh

Illustration from:

Goops and how to be them : a manual of manners for polite infants inculcating many juvenile virtues both by precept and example (c1900), by Gelett Burgess

Clementine learned what RSVP means.

I have again learned not to take anything for granted when speaking to five year olds.

~~~

Electronic copies of Goops and how to be them : a manual of manners for polite infants inculcating many juvenile virtues both by precept and example (c1900), by Gelett Burgess can be found here at Archive.org^.

Electronic copies of More Goops and how not to be them : a manual of manners for impolite infants, depicting the characteristics of many naughty and thoughtless children, with instructive illustrations (c1903) can be found here at Archive.org^

Illustration from:

More Goops and how not to be them : a manual of manners for impolite infants, depicting the characteristics of many naughty and thoughtless children, with instructive illustrations (c1903), by Gelett Burgess

Both were popular turn-of-the-century (the 20th century, of course) guides to teaching manners to children with wit and humor. Both are out of copyright, and are free to download.

Another of the Goop books is available here, at Project Gutenberg^. Titled The Goop Directory of Juvenile Offenders Famous for their Misdeeds and Serving as a Salutary Example for all Virtuous Children (c 1913), it's available in several mobile formats.

Illustration from:
The Goop Directory of Juvenile Offenders Famous for their Misdeeds and Serving as a Salutary Example for all
Virtuous Children, (c 1913), by Gelett Burgess

Other books by Gelett Burgess are available at Project Gutenberg, here^.

Namaste

deena

Happy Seahorse Day

noreply@blogger.com (deena) — Sun, 08 May 2011 19:01:00 +0000

My dad died several years ago.

antique image, altered by me

I can't begin to tell you how much I miss him. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him, wonder what he'd think of something in the news, want to share one of the girl's accomplishments, or just be able to say hello and hear his voice.

antique father's day image in the PD

So much of what I am comes from him. I try to be fair, because he was. I try to listen to people, because he did. My love of nature, of books, of science, and history, all from him. He took me places, and showed me as much of the world as he could. He gave me a deep and abiding appreciation and understanding of our country and what it means to be an American.

antique image in the PD

He taught me to appreciate what I have. He taught me to always try to see the humour in things.

Ultimately, he taught me the hard lesson that life is far too short to try to change things that we don't have the power to change. This means that we owe it to ourselves to be as true to ourselves as possible, to be brave, to be good, and to do our very best.

So, on this Mother's Day, rather than focus on the negative (like why this isn't about my mother, for example), I want to focus on the positive, and thank my father. I want to thank all of the fathers and others who are mothers without the title; who are caretakers and providers, who are listeners and supporters, often without thanks or recognition.

antique seahorse image, altered by me

Thank you. Thank you for caring. Thank you for nurturing. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for just being there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Hippocampus
image in the PD, from here^,

originally from U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

Now, why seahorses? Seahorses are the only animal on the planet where the male bears and nurtures the young. It occured to me this past week, as I was dreading another yearly replay of "OMG I love my mother sooooooooo much", which I can't relate to, that seahorses are the perfect symbol to represent how I always feel in the days leading up to Mother's Day. They represent nurturing and caring by people in non-traditional roles.

Spiny seahorse (Hippocampus histrix)

from here^, used in accordance with

Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported

photo by Nick Hobgood^

If, like me, you find yourself unable to celebrate Mother's Day in the traditional way for whatever reason, consider trying to identify a person in your life who helped you, who nurtured you, who cared, who was there. And then finding a way to say Thank You.

antique seahorse image, altered by me

Happy Seahorse Day.

Namaste

deena

endless forms

We can rebuild her! We have the technology!

Sounds like a plan.

Mr. Blue Sky Vs. The Monsters Under the Bed

Make A Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

We're Goin' Hoppin'

Infinity

Tangentially Speaking (or) How to Waste 20 Minutes In No Time Flat

The First Snow of Autumn

Amused...

We Shall Find Peace

I don't know. I've never kipled

Sunday morning...

This week is...

Petey

Sixteen Questions

Ballet, Baseball, and Soup

Woman in a Toque with a Mandolin Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (1796-1875

The greatest of these is love

...the full value of joy

A Simple Woman...

Memorial Day

Our babies take flight

Let's all sing like the birdies sing...

A (mostly) good weekend

Words of Wisdom (pretty close, anyway)

Lesson learned...

Happy Seahorse Day

Woman in a Toque with a Mandolin
Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (1796-1875