Endo and the Single Girl

Sweet Honey, Tumeric and Tomatoes

2012-01-25T21:41:00.001-08:00

My sweet honey is still a little sick today.
We spent half of yesterday nursing for his comfort and the other half sleeping/resting out of boredom.
That afternoon the lights went out after a loud bang (then once they were on, bang, out goes the lights again) and stayed off for a while. Six hours to be exact.

J's attitude was up and down much like his appetite. My poor boy. He sipped on some tea and nibbled here and there on a few things but for the most part he was just so fed up with not being able to properly breathe and not being able to sleep well. Last night was the first night in months that I was up with a crying, unhappy (rather than playful) baby and the first time with a feverish one, I think. I still had to go in to work which left me on edge worrying about him but once I got home his fever was even lower then when I left so, yay, I think the worst has passed.

His nose is a little red and even his hair is calmer today

Now to keep me well and him on the mend. I think a long simmering pot of chicken soup will be in the works tonight.

I moved on to a few things that I've been wanting to do while he played on the floor.

I've been needing to do this for a long time, dye his wrap, but could never find the time. I'm determined now to get going so this was today's project instructions.

We use Tumeric more often than I realized. Tooth remedy, face mask, in the chicken broth sometimes so when I read that I could use it for dye, I wanted to try that too. It does a pretty good job of staining everything so why not. I'm a total newbie but I think it came out well enough to make him look super cute on my back.

I have some more fabric that I'll use berries with for some purples and blues. Since I don't own a dryer (hence the hanging fabric) it will be tomorrow before we get to use it but take my word for it, it will be awesome.

Edit: It will be awesomer. Yeah, I like it that much already.

Speaking of awesome things, I finally got my books yesterday!

I used to imagine tiny, dirty toddler hands holding a tomato from our garden or helping me pull weeds, walking the yard with me, picking up the eggs, just plain sitting outside with me. For those tiny hands to hold our tomato I would have had to start gardening rather than fantasizing and just planning a long while ago. Here I go though. An older guy that I work with had a farm/garden for over 50 years before he retired. He loved it but said its a lot of work. Count me in!

I want the works in a few years, chickens, horses, all that but for now I am loving the information in the top book and the time I've been able to take out to sit and read even though the majority of it was while I was at work.

Hopefully it wont take long till I'm in the dirt and getting started. J wont have tiny toddler hands for long!

Move

2012-01-23T20:58:00.000-08:00

"If a mother will move her body, then she will move her mind. And when she moves her mind, she will move her family and change the world."

I've been doing some reading and found that I really love this quote, especially the last part.

I'm planning to hang it up somewhere.

For my health, my home and my Jett, I've been trying to be more active outside of work. I slowed down but now its time to pick it all back up. Not just in the sense of running, walking, dancing, biking, swimming cause we do some of those (minus the biking cause I need a new one of those and minus the swimming cause the pool needs treatment and, well, minus the dancing cause I do that for work and honestly that's not as much a pleasure lately) but also reading, writing, learning, cleaning, making, doing. That kind of movement too. That's where my mind comes alive even more and when I'm alive I hope then we can move and change.

So. J walking, us running, our walks. Movement.
Today's crayons, the mozza-sticks, his cake coming up, the bedroom remodel, photography. Movement.

This mama has got to get moving more and more and more.

Making It Monday

2012-01-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

Bigger crayons for my honey and his chubby hands.

Not my pic. Mine did not look like this.

Mozza-sticks (here) for snacks. Tasty!

The greatest thing about today is that Jetters has been walking!

More and more this week he's been taking steps enough to hold my finger for a walk halfway to the mailbox. Today he up and walked across the room a few times. His dancing has definitely improved now that he's found his balance.

Pics and a video to come if I can figure that part out!

Making Space/Playset Update/Bits

2012-01-09T18:13:00.000-08:00

I spent most of yesterday decluttering our shared bedroom.
Jett has his crib, bookshelf, shelving, chairs, floor mat and toys in the bedroom. I have my bed and two tables. One of them is for the printer and other past business items so really I only have my bed and one table.

I have very little space to myself.

With my family here every available space is taken, upstairs and down. I have the largest room in the house but the least amount of space. What is that about?

I could use more furniture,more places to put things. He has a nice bookshelf but mine, I threw out in the move two years ago. My bedside table has his nighttime books on it along with his quick items. He has truly taken over the room and my family has taken over the house. Its way past time to change that.

The floors are clean, there's nothing really hanging out of anywhere and nothing J can pick up and eat or bang around. It looks great but needs some work in terms of organization so I'm definitely ready to start looking for more furniture to bring in. Luckily for me, I still have about $12 (or is it $8?) on an Ikea giftcard and a new certificate from JC Penney.

I was not one of the ones to get the playset but in its place, JC Penney sent a certificate for $50 off $50. I'm hearing that it doesn't include shipping but still 6 bucks for 50 of stuff is still great. Also great is that I got $50 for nothing much. I didn't get the deal that I wanted and wasn't charged but was able to get a good deal in return for my disappointment. So hopefully you got in on that.

I'm not sure what I'll do with it, the certificate. J could always use new clothes but so can I. I could also use furniture but I have no idea if they even sale that. Maybe I'll look later or next month rather. I am still on my no spending challenge so anything above $50 and shipping would come out of pocket. Better not tempt myself just yet. It's only the 9th. I don't want to fail so soon.

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The other good thing that came from not getting the set is that the money I was putting towards it will go into my emergency fund bringing it up a little bit. That's more than welcome.It's been slow going today. I think I added $0.12 to it. It's great to add to it daily but it would be even better if it were a substantial amount.

I think I mentioned it but nothing that I make from work can go into my emergency fund so that's the reason for my near constant thoughts on it. I need to add to it and have to find ways to do that and get it to $1400 in three months.

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Tomorrow, I'll add the $20 from the play set once I know for sure that my order status is set. Tomorrow I am also planning to say goodbye to my studio job. It's not working out. I get paid less than $200 a month which is always handy but if I hope to put in more work with my main job, I'm going to have to cut it loose and move on. My main work will more than cover for it. I wont get sentimental about it. Hopefully it will end well and at one time.

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Today for some reason I remembered that I own a bread machine even though its been sitting on my cabinet since we moved in two years ago. I think I avoided using it because I didn't get a manual when I picked it up from Craigslist. Well hello google and hello bread machine manual. It's bread adventure time.

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Challenge updates:

$17.07/$1400
Pantry: lunch was a tasty pasta dish with chicken, cheese and pesto. Dinner will be burritos. Must make tea.
23/2012 decluttered

Quick post

2012-01-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

Last night, J went to sleep early with no problem. I was in bed with him but since I don't mind cuddling him to sleep, I call that a great start to a great night. I was able to put him in his crib with very little fussing or fighting too. He looked shocked maybe 10 seconds, turned his head, whimpered and then was out. With me developing a habit of getting home and looking up debt stuff till 6AM, he tends to wake up a little earlier which makes him want to get in my bed. There's no putting him back after that so I need to find another spot to play on the computer so he can get back to sleeping in his bed till 8 like he did before. With a few more weeks of this, I think we'll be good.

After this, we're going back to pottying. I don't want to change everything at one time so this has been on hold but once he's fine with sleeping on his own, I'm going to go back to working on doing away with the diapers. He's still easy to read as far as signs go so I'm not too worried in this area. It's the getting him to potty on the pot that I need to really get back to.

This year seems to be about getting my house in order and with that, I've started working on our Home Management Binder. I've found a good lot of information to put in it like financial information, important contacts, doctor and health information, recipe files. All kinds of stuff. I'm really hoping to streamline everything. Everything. More on that some other time along with birthday prep for both of us. Well underway.

Challenge stats:

18/2012
$16.83/$1400
Pantry: I haven't had dinner yet. I'm thinking oatmeal. J is having veggie risotto w/ cheese.

I listed a bike on craigslist and have some dance items to list. I sent in a rebate and took some videos to Half Price. Tomorrow, I have an extra stroller to bring to the consignment shop and might go through his clothes and bring some too. Not being able to take savings from my paychecks is hard but doable. I need to come up with 108.50 a week in order to meet my savings goal in three months. Hard but doable.

This whole schooling thing...

2012-01-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

Is taking over my brain.

What was originally a fantasy turned to a desire then to a plan then to a goal.
Montessori school became my focus and for the last month it's been all I've been muttering about. I've been wanting to get him enrolled. The waitinglist really takes off and I didn't want it to zoom by without us especially since they have very few part time spots.

But then I'm reminded of my all time favorite memories of walking trails with my other homescooled or unschooled friends. Day time spent with just my sister in the pool of the apartment complex. All the other kids had returned to school for the semester so it was all for us.

I remember my mother with classical music playing, us getting up and doing our work when we felt like it and never leaving the house if we didn't. We were on our time and that's still something I find very valuable. It's obvious though, isn't it? I work night so I can spend my days doing my own thing. I have to at least let him have that while he's young.

With the teachings and schedule of the Montessori school I'm eyeing, this isn't the best idea. J would be to school by 8AM and home by 3PM. Very much a full day. There would be no lingering even with the ride being less than a minute or the walk less than five. I wouldn't be able to crowd him with my goodbyes even if I wanted to. Drop off is prompt but no that's not the schedule that gets me. Two days a week he'd be away but every day I'm encouraged to wake him at the same time, keep the same schedule. No free time in there. No making the day up as we go. It kinda makes me cringe even though I know it has to be that way sometimes.

Just like that, this school has become exactly what I wanted to get us away from before ever getting there. The scheduling or time constraints of public or private early education. The school itself is great, the staff is great but maybe not $240 worth of great.

And just like that again, my timeline of slowly getting myself back to self-employed has changed. Instead of dropping him off to school and heading home or out to work, I need to find a solution and the only one I see that fits is budgeting a little bit to give him to a sitter. More than likely this will be my mother but it will have to be someone either way and I'm sure it will not be free. With her needing to get on her feet, the money will come in handy so it will not be free.

There is still the cooperative that costs $80 a month. It has a schedule in terms of what they do while together but I'm not sure about much else. I've sent back an email just this evening detailing my little family, my philosophy as a parent (lol) and my thoughts on the type of schooling I'm into. I've taken them up on their invitation to visit and so we'll see what comes of it.

Another email will go out before the night is out. Another homeschool/unschool group that seems to be based on a free learning experience. That fits me a bit more but as J gets older, I do want him to have more than just a few outings in the month. Again I'll describe my little family, J and I and I'll wait to hear from them.

I'm not fully decided on anything but maybe its cause I'm not too sure of what I want. As with me and most things, if I write them down (what I want in this case) I can tell immediately what it is I'm leaning towards. I'll skip that for now. I'm already confused enough. Maybe I'll look into another type of school and feel a fit. But I think, I think that J will get his early schooling from me and whatever homeschooling/unschooling group we join and then he'll have his days where he goes to his grandmother while I work on the business side of things. Most important is his education though so here I am killing myself over it already. Whatever I do, I want to get it going in August when my work situation and any extra should be settled so really that's not much time. If he'll be away, he'll need to be prepared for that.

Challenge totals for today:

declutter 2012: 18/2012. A few more cans, a bag of food we aren't going to eat.

EF: $15.64/$1400 I have a few rebates to send out but that will add at most $6.

NoSpend January: $10 spent on gas. I did good buying nothing at the cake supply store

Pantry Challenge: Dinner is salmon cakes, veggies and mashed potatoes. M paid for lunch and dessert this time. I've been treated twice this week. I think it needs to continue.

Sleep Diet

2012-01-05T16:24:00.000-08:00

Like any good diet, there are good days and there are bad days. There are also days where you just treat yourself to a big ol' bowl of ice cream and pie and whatever else people pig out on. Today is our bad diet day or our treat yourself day. We haven't fallen off the wagon, we're just taking a walk on the side of it today.

Last night J didn't go down easy to bed and so I gave him off to my sister for a cuddle while I went to work. This morning I came home and grabbed him up and took him to bed to nurse. I did attempt to put him in his crib but he gave me this puppy dog look which gets a very different response than him screaming (hope he doesn't figure that out too soon) and so I pulled him into my arms and we went to sleep. His naps today have been on a pillow on the floor downstairs instead of his crib and currently he's been asleep for the longest time against his Lovey's chest. I'm just going to let him have it and pick it up for his bedtime routine later tonight.

I'm a softy.

Besides that, his newest habit is to climb on the couch, walk to the side and hang over the edge to peek out the doorway. I want him to sleep as long as possible while I figure out how to stop that from happening.

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Challenge Stuff:

I've been hard at work with budgeting and food management today.

Last night I went through half of the food items in the house including J's and today I have the other half and the cold stuff to do though I'll probably spread that out till tomorrow. After that, I'm going to start my January menu plan! I'm excited! Everything I ate today was from the pantry so it feels doable.Tonight will either be salmon and veggies or pasta, chicken and pesto.

I added two cans to my donation pile and a bag of old stuff so that brings my declutter total to 13/2012.

I ended up getting my work check early and over the amount I'm budgeted for and since my newest goal is to put $1400 in my emergency fund in a short time without it coming from budgeted money, I'm thrilled! I need to get that set before I start cutting down the debt.

My get debt free 2012 plan is coming along. I have all my debt written down (everything that comes to mind anyway) from smallest to largest and its all less than 18,000 including students loans, medical stuff. I'm optimistic about getting rid of it all this year.

I have spent only $41.75 since the year started with $1.75 of that being out of budget. Tonight there will be another small amount for gas but nothing major. Tomorrow I need to pick up laundry detergent but I'll hit up the dollar store for that to keep it all under 5 bucks. I just need my clothes washed, nothing fancy.

Work:

I'm thinking of letting go of the dance studio. I love teaching but with everything that I'm doing, its not worth the $120 it brings in every month. I teach three classes and will have to work double for the recital in the spring. I'm not too interested in that coupled with double shifts at my night job. I'm picking up a week of extra work starting in less than a week and have more work looming so I think that's what I'll focus on especially when it pays me more.

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And much like I thought, I ovulated early last month. I can't even think if it's been two weeks but my period is sure here. Grand. I think there's nothing much more to say on that one.

I'm not ready to be done breastfeeding so I may have months to go before any type of normalcy returns. I knew that but whats the point in getting halfway there?? All or nothing, fertility. Come on!

A lot going on

2012-01-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

1. Sleepy Time update update. He went down for an evening nap around 6 but was woken up by my sister not long later. In the evening he was not having it when I tried to put him down for bed and long story short, didn't get to sleep till after 11 and I was in bed with him.

I learned from that not to switch up the routine just to do it earlier. We nurse to sleep so instead of trying to put him down by himself after a short session, I'll just nurse him to sleep earlier. Duh. I caused my boy unnecessary stress to learn something I think I already knew. The highlight of my day or night is laying next to him as he calms down and falls asleep. Why in the world didn't I put it all together earlier?

After that long night, he slept in his own bed till 8 this morning. I hope it wasn't the stress of me not getting it immediately but he woke up cheery and goofy like always. With all this, I have a better plan for tonight's bedtime. Move it up but don't change it. The end.

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2. The playset I mentioned a few posts down:

At first it was a super awesome deal. It was originally 69-90 dollars down to 15 not including coupon codes and rebates. Then JC Penney saw that it was an online pricing error and it went back up to $90 and no one was sure they would honor it as people were told the orders would be cancelled. Well today they said they would honor the price!! You'll only get one only till they run out of stock! Hopefully you ordered one. I did and now I'm praying I get it shipped!

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3. I made Jetters some big blocks from the leftover Christmas boxes since that was something I wanted to buy him but decided against. Don't mind the dirty background:

He likes them. We build them up tall and he crashes into them and knocks them down. He's playing with his aunt and laughing when it nearly crashes on her from the ball he's rolling at them. She, on the other hand, is trying to take his blocks to build something of her own. I think we know how he feels about that. I think I need to explore this area a bit more this year to keep costs down. I have another toy in mind to make him. I need to get crafty.

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4.
I started looking for a homeschool/unschool local group and found one last night that for a second there nearly made me rethink the Montessori school plan.

With this new group, infants to young children meet up twice a week to learn for a couple hours. It's $80 a month, he wouldn't need to attend a separate school as he gets older, and these parents would be in agreement with my homeschooling/unschooling plans.

The cons is that its over a half hour away so there's no walking him to and from school like I fantasized. I would also stay there with him which does away with my plan to work while he's away (the main reason he would even go to school).

Montessori is triple the cost of this school but I think that's where we're headed. I have found a few other local groups that have a similar teaching stance as I do. I think that will be great for outings which I'm aching to do lately. Maybe its the shift in the weather but being outside sounds so good right now.

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5. I've joined a few challenges and made a few goals

* NoSpend January: only spend on necessities in the month of January. For me that's bills and gas money. Maybe a few baby items but I've been good at not buying much else already.

So far:

01/01 - $15 gas, $1.00 lost in soda machine
01/02 - $10 gas, $0.75 can soda
01/03 - $6 gas
01/04 + $20 tip for being awesome

I'm also getting away from soda but that's the easy part.

* The Pantry Challenge: only eat from whats in the pantry. I can supplement if I need fruits, veggies, dairy but I'm going to try not to. I'm going to go through my pantry and fridge tonight and get a menu going. My sister bought us lunch earlier so I haven't started yet.

*2012 in 2012: decluttering. This year I will remove at least 2012 items from my house. I'll donate or trash it all. I'm at 10/2012

This year I am determined to get rid of my debt besides my mortgage. I don't have much but I have enough to bug me. I joined a meetup group for women and they do all the outdoorsy things that I want to do including this cute little surf camp (in TX of all places) where children are welcome. If I had extra money to throw around, I'd sign us up to get our toes dirty. I'll wait for next year when my boy can actually get on a board but with no debt and fewer bills, trips like this would be easier to consider. Rather than immediately think "oh man!" I could be all "wonder how I could work that out".

On top of that, I want to get a more efficient car in a year or two. With everything paid off, a higher credit score and more available money, I'd be on to something great in a year.

I'm totally feeling it.

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6. Period Tracker

There was no super obvious sign of ovulation like last month. I would be right at end of it right now though I have this feeling it occurred earlier than usual. I'm partly unhappy since nothing is nailed down and it makes me worry about the hormone issue of before but on the other hand, I'm not ready just yet to do anything with my period anyway so I just wont think about it now.

This year, I'm starting to think, could go either way. Baby prep for the later part of the year or just a straight financial focus type of year. I don't know but I'm beginning to be ok either way. Ask me tomorrow, though, when I'm bound to be a bit more clucky and I'm sure I'll tell you that I wish I could be pregnant with baby2 by Christmas.

Sigh.

No worries though. I've got enough going on.

Sleepy Time Update

2012-01-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Success! I also like to call it the Good, the Bad and the Ugh

The Ugh:

He ended up in bed with me and it was uncomfortable to say the least. The two of us, though we are mother and child, are not similar sleepers. I tend to sleep quietly in three or so positions all on my side of the bed. He is more like a humming starfish with his little noises, humming himself to sleep and his spread out position. Spread out on my head, in the middle of my bed, on half my pillow. Starfish all up and in every where. Yeah.
That will definitely not work much longer. He and I need our separate space.

The Bad:
This is more my mistake. I didn't get him bathed and all that as planned before he got kinda tired. I should have had him in bed by this time. He crawled to me whiny and fussy wanting to nurse. He's getting to be very vocal about it since I just let him let me know instead of timing it out anymore. So he came to me nursed and was out before the intended time of what was it, ten? Nine? He woke up a half hour later and didn't go back to sleep till after 11PM.

I tried to turn on some white, pink and brown noise for him but he was more interested in why the sound was coming from my computer. I finally had to close it and put it on the floor. It didn't help though since my computer light blinks and fades and catches his attention every time. He tried to follow it to the floor several times. He thought it was a game and I had to end that game real quick.

I tried to put him in his crib but he didn't enjoy that. I admit I was soft and took him out to be near me once he started crying but you know, I get about an hour or two of sleep before work. I really didn't want to miss it since it was already late. I needed the sleep last night. And amazingly, sleep we did.

The Good:

I got him into his crib once he was asleep. His butt was pat for a few minutes since he did surely protest and we both finally fell asleep. I got up for work, got ready, zipped him into his crib and took off. I expected to come home and find him in someone else's bed but nope. He was still sleeping very deep in his own. I was able to grab something to eat and my computer before he woke up with my moving around. We shared my bowl of pasta, he nursed and we both went to sleep. Even though he woke up, I think he could have easily stayed asleep in there. He's slept through the night for months but I also made it a habit to grab him up when I could. Tonight, I'm going to keep him in there if he wakes up when I get home. He doesn't actually need to nurse and I can use that session to pump and freeze.

Today he took a nap in his crib which was great. It was only a half hour but since that's usually the longest he stays asleep, I'm counting that as a success as well. The great thing was that I nursed him, put him in there, pat his butt for a little bit and turned on simplynoise.com and he got quiet and went to sleep. I didn't have to do anything after that. He wasn't even fully sleep when I turned it on. I'm going to try for an evening nap maybe around 6PM and then bedtime for 930 or so. Maybe eventually I can get him to sleep one long enough nap towards the evening and then in the bed for 8:30PM. I'll take two but will settle for one.

Oh the sleep possibilities!!

FYI: Super Inexpensive Child Playset

2012-01-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

2 posts in a day!

Quick note:
I don't know if anyone watches Two Broke Girls but I watched it tonight and actually laughed this time. Maybe it was cause it was about coupons but it was funny. Thank God I don't need to buy 40 boxes of cake mix for overage! Those coupon queens/shelf clearers are scary!

Anyways, I saw these deal posted on a coupon blog that I follow and since I love good deals, I figured I would pass this along to anyone interested.

~~This set retails for $79.99 (on sale for 69.99) at Step2 but is on sale for 15.00 at JCPenney.~~
~~I used Ebates for 3% back (use Shopathome.com for 9% I'm told ) and this promo and validation code to save 15% at checkout:~~
~~Promo Code: SURDEC11~~
~~Validation Code: 301225579~~

~~The set came down to 12.75, tax 1.36 and shipping 5.99 for a total of $20.10. A pretty good savings.~~
~~Since the price is really low, I'm being cautious but so far so good.~~

~~J has older cousins who will be able to use the set when they come over now but for the most part I'm saving it for him to use later. It's adorable!~~

I was right about being cautious! Looks like this is no longer available at the lower price. Before it was removed it went up to 90.00. If you still want it, then Toys R Us is said to have it for $59 and free shipping. If I actually get it shipped on the 10th or if I get a cancellation email, I'll post an update. Some people are getting one or the other.

And speaking of adorable:

You can get a free card from cardstore.com using the code MCSFREE112.
Can you guess who the above card will go to?

Transition to better sleepy time

2012-01-02T16:04:00.000-08:00

This is what our beds looked like the very day I brought J home:

Moses basket of clothes, diapers, wipes so I didn't have to move. Blankets placed neatly with a pad that I imagined would stay where it was while he was little. Ha. Exactly a year ago today, I was deciding against the big cloth bumper pads I wanted to make in favor of the mesh ones I found at a thrift store and had already made plans to sidecar his crib. Or I had already done it. I don't remember.

This is what it looks like now:

Today, Mr Honey is no longer sidecarred. The boy's crib is no longer an extension of my bed. I'm not sure how our first night will go. I've never slept apart from him in over 19 months. He's still close, for now, but there's definitely an obvious barrier there.

On the other hand, I'm so ready. Having him in a safer area could lead to easier nap times. I would be able to (hopefully) get him down and walk away instead of him either not taking more than ten to thirty minutes a day or him waking right up after I move away from a nursing session. With him in his own bed all night, I expect it will lead to him sleeping better at night which will trickle down to me sleeping better at night.

I think he likes it!

The tent is cause he's a bouncer and his crib doesn't go as low as I would like. I can see myself sleeping well while he is awake in there tossing his books around his own head instead of mine. No real worries about grabbing a foot if he suddenly went over. Not that I've ever had that happen. Really I haven't. He's fallen over me or has followed a toy over my bed and but never over his crib.

He was all for it till he popped himself in the mouth with the bouncing. Some things never change. He doesn't hate being in it even with it zipped up so the issue wont be him being okay in it, it will be me having to transition him when he's drowsy and comfortable. He's never liked that. He goes from wide awake to dead sleep in two seconds. I can see me spending a good half hour getting him back to sleep every night after putting him down awake.

So that's the big sleep thing. The second sleep thing will be changing his bedtime. J takes one ten to thirty minute nap a day. One. I'm not doing well with that right now. My goal is to get him fed, played with, bathed, read to, sung to and asleep before nine. He usually doesn't stay asleep till after 10 but with the help of a nice lamp from his aunt that he likes to look at, soothing sounds thanks to the internet and a musical toy his Lovey bought him and good, filling food both cooked and boobed from me, the boy will be on to better sleep habits in no time.

Goal: To be able to put him in his crib both day and night and have him sleep well even if its still a half hour at most during the day. Hopefully more though.

~~Animal~~ Bat print pants outta control

We spent the day cooking and cleaning. Neither of us is dressed well as you can see from the above photo of him. I'll refrain from posting myself at least so you can sleep well tonight. His does match at least.

His mancave is being worked out in my head and elsewhere and I need a decluttered space to get started. Soon his crib will be moved into its own space and more big boy furniture bought. Once I pin more things to his mancave board, I'll link his pinterest board.

In the same vein, my own new space is being worked out. With him taking over his crib, I'm taking over my bed and my space and I can't wait to get ideas rolling. I'm starting with my closet since I picked up a dresser that needs some TLC. I bought new hampers to keep my clothes organized and for the first time in a long time, I'm considering a move from my favorite color (plum) to something else for the scheme. Not sure yet but very excited.

Happy New Year!!

2012-01-01T11:25:00.000-08:00

I started the new year in a better way than expected.

My babysitters weren't available for the night so J went to work with me and we got there just as it hit midnight. I was able to tape some fireworks for him since he couldn't see them from his carseat. There were so many popping up in the sky on the way to work that I was tempted to pull over since I didn't want to miss them this year. He stayed awake and in a pretty good mood so the inconvenience of taking a baby to work was temporarily forgotten.

Today we got in at 5AM, shared a bowl of oatmeal (tell me why I've been eating at least 4 bowls in the morning??) and slept in till noon. We have very little to do today, maybe some birthday prep before I get behind. Right now he's standing and taking steps, marching (when he can keep his balance) and clapping for himself.

Its nice to start the new year off with some sunshine after the past few cloudy days, my happy healthy near one year old (my goodness), a new computer finally and more oatmeal. Gotta love it.

ETA:
Know what I forgot today? New Year's dinner. Cabbage, black eyed peas, meat. Totally forgot. I don't know that J will like the peas (I hate them), but I just so happen to have some on hand. Maybe next year I'll be like my aunt and granny and actually attempt to cook them all.

Happy new year!

Resolution Conclusion

2011-12-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

The Christmas tree has yet to be packed away yet the new year is taking up space in my busy brain.

I like (and still kinda dread) the newness of the starting year. I like to think of all the changes that will happen in those 365 days. I like to imagine how the next Valentines/Thanksgiving/Christmas will be and plan tons of things.

On the other hand, I hate letting go, goodbyes, the end. I hate all the little cares that used to creep in. How this new year will turn, out what could I do differently than the finished year, how to make the most of a new start. The thought of what could change in a day is sometimes scary especially with having more and more to lose as the years pass. How's that for a downer?

So whatever. It's inevitable, right, but this new year there will be no letting go and no goodbyes because I'm ending on a high note. Change is already in progress and if I let go, I'll fall behind. I wont be making any resolutions. No list of ten or 20. I've done all that before and it all comes down to some very basic principals.

I will always strive to be a better me, to better care of myself, to keep a house that is clutter-free, to make time for me. I will always want to be a better mother, daughter, sister. I will always want for better work, better than stable finances. Knowing that those are always close at heart, that I'll always work for a better level than the current one, I'm just not going to start the year with any added pressure this time. No need to put that in writing any more (though writing it down is half the fun for me) as if they're some "new" commandments. No need to think there is failure anywhere if the year passes and I'm not noticeably changed or some random goal wasn't met. I'd rather go into this new year with it being a continuation rather than a stop and start over.

I'm on to good things already and I just need the days laid out in front of me so I can take them and get on with it.

This year will end with me most likely shutting off the tv (I like to see the ball drop) and peeking at my sleeping boy, already late for that hour of sleep I know I'll want to get in before work. The new year will start with me taking said boy from his crib where he's learning (so hard!) to sleep and heading downstairs for the breakfast I've been trying not to skip. Just like any other day.

I have some newness going on right now that I'll post on some other time. I've started dressing better thanks to giftcards and clothes for Christmas. I've found motivation to walk again, to run. Decorating ideas are popping left and right and I've just started acting on them. J's little man cave is coming along soon. His pinterest board is coming alive with ideas. Sleeping in his crib, turning a year old all have a good deal to do with it and there is that: turning a year old and the planning, the thoughts, the day to look forward to.

Not really saying goodbye, I guess, but more of a thank you for the truly memorable moments and see you on the flip side, 2011.

Holiday Wrap-up

2011-12-26T20:05:00.000-08:00

Our first Christmas, Saturday, went well.

J and I stayed in bed till noon, listened to Christmas music while we had our pancakes for lunch and chilled out with a few holiday movies playing in the background. I dressed him in his 12th present, gingerbread man PJs then we opened presents around 6PM and hung out till I went to work.

I ended up not just getting a small bonus check but also had a coworker get to work earlier and get some work done which took some of the work away from me letting me get home an hour earlier.
I used a half hour of that to get us prepped for our early morning drive. Much needed.

Christmas day, we got up late but still made it to our hometown in good time. We took J to my old church for their children's church program. He met the people that I grew up with which was nice. We got to my grandma's, snuck some food since we usually don't eat till after 3, and he got some private time in with his godfather.

After dinner came presents. J got a few new toys that he is in love with. His piano is among his favorites which is awesome since I was told to prepare for the wrapping paper to be his focus. His favorite holiday song is a Mariah Carrey song and I got an awesome video of his reaction when it comes on and also when you pause it. On the ride to our hometown, he was asleep and it came on the Christmas station. His eyes popped open and his hands started waving. Awesome. He had a blast with his toys and his cousin yesterday too.

I got clothes, house shoes, giftcards for house stuff, a steam mop and a portable vacuum for my car. Would you believe that my day was nearly made? I love this kind of stuff. House stuff, portable cleaning stuff, clothes stuff, shoes stuff. Yes, I was happy. When we got home, J took more steps and that made my day for sure. From one a few days ago to a few yesterday. The boy is on the move.

We talked about grandpa a little bit and about how much of a shock it was that he had been fine at that morning but gone that night. We weren't told that he was as sick as he was. My heart hurt for my cousins but they're doing ok. Everyone is happy that this Christmas went well. Better than we expected. Much like last year, I'm hoping this next Christmas is even better than this one. Of course being the planner that I am, I'm bound to go overboard but you know what they say about reaching for the moon and failing and being among the stars, right? I can't really remember, lol, but hopefully you get my point. Awesomeness to come again next year.

So that was our holiday. Today I cleaned my floors, hung out in bed with my boy and ate leftovers. My new year is about to start and this week I have a buttload of cleaning and decluttering to do to get it started off right. I'm ready for the new year but thats another post for another day.

Low Key Holiday

2011-12-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

Last year at this time we had a death in the family which led to a very low key, quiet holiday. This year I think we were all determined to not have a repeat as if we could all send up enough prayers to make it pass this season together. We wouldn't do it make it.

On Monday night, my cousins lost their grandpa who was almost like a grandpa to me. My own grandfather died when I was a child over ten years ago. I have memories of him. Those fuzzy ones where you remember bits and pieces but nothing major. I can't even tell you what his voice sounds like. Just his smile. I remember so much more of this grandpa. Not a holiday went by that he wasn't over and going down the line of grandkids saying hello. Always smiling. Always kind, with light eyes and a little bit of wit thrown in. My aunt and I were talking about her thoughts mirrored mine. He was a grandpa to all of us cause really all of ours have already gone, been gone for so many years. But now so is he.

Again this year, we'll come together and no doubt think about him like we did our aunt last year. He lived 91 years, had so many grandkids, great grandkids, great-great grandkids. So much to celebrate. Tomorrow is his funeral and Sunday will be our first holiday without him.

On the other side of this Christmas thing, all my gifts are bought. Or at least all that I will be buying right now. There is some wrapping to do, baking, organizing and finishing touches but that's for Christmas Eve so I can have things to do that will keep me in the house and away from the roads at least until the light show at night. I went out today to finish up and it was pandemonium, craziness. Not trying to go there again even though I'm contemplating a quick trip out tonight.

Our Christmas here at home will be either Saturday night or very early Sunday morning since the majority of us in the house will be heading out not long after. It's all ending, this Christmas stuff, and you know, I'm not too bummed about it now. I'm already cleaning up, decluttering and making plans for next year. It's going to be a good year come January but first we'll have a good Christmas.

I'm a loser (mom), baby

2011-12-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

We were walking through Target yesterday when my heart started to hurt a little bit. Ugh. I couldn't stop myself. Christmas shopping took an ugly turn and the store isles just became too much to deal with. All the toys were going to fall off the shelves and crush me and my wallet and my plans for a joyous, not truly gift focused holiday.

And so I began to feel like something of a loser mom.

I went there with two things in mind: Find him a new Christmas book (I didn't) and get his piano toy cause I knew he would love it and this is how I knew:

A few weeks ago I went to a music shop/studio in walking distance of home thinking about how nice it will be in the future to walk him to lessons, to walk myself to lessons, to share my interest in learning music and playing instruments with him. Ok so that has nothing to do with how I knew but still. In Target not long after, I gave him a few different toys to play around with while we walked. He liked the piano most of all and then last Wednesday, he kinda made me feel like that short walk to lessons really could happen. Like if he continues to love his piano as much as he does now it might just be possible.

My friends own a piano. He constantly eyed it while we were visiting Wednesday, crawled over to it like any child would to the biggest thing in the room and so we let him play it. J doesn't have a long attention span. I think its even half of what a baby's attention span is. He's constantly moving but we got a video of him banging away for at least 5 minutes with every minute looking just as exciting to him as the first. He owns musical instruments but I guess its something about the piano that he likes beyond its newness.

Back to Target yesterday, I put the piano in his lap and he played with it. I searched the isles trying to figure out what else to get him, something inexpensive but still good. I wondered what my relatives would think if I stopped there with just one toy and they bought him more. How I would explain the little things and the lack of big things, the 12 days and making it all up for us. Torturing myself. I kept asking my mom and sisters what they thought and mom responded by taking the piano from his lap so I could watch Jett throw an immediate tantrum and pout. I let it go though it wasn't enough for me to just get one thing, realized that really and truly I can't afford it all, picked up some black and white trail mix (known as crack in our house lately) and went to the grocery store.

(This is what shopping does to me at this time of year. It reminds me that I don't have enough, not nearly as much as I would like. That when he gets older, if money still isn't pouring in and chances are it wont be, that I may have to explain to him why he doesn't get as good as his friends and even his relatives do and our relatives do. As a kid, I remember deciding that I hated our holiday get together preferring our Christmas at home since I spent so much time watching my other cousins pass around tons of gifts that didn't have my name on any one of them. Our Christmas just has to be different and different is still good, right?)

While at the grocery store, I perused the Christmas isle. My holiday habit, drawn like a magnet. The greatest thing was spotting a toy I saw at Target for nearly 12 bucks and seeing it marked down to 8. Great but not in my price range till I remembered I had a $5.00 off coupon for Fisher Price! It didn't mean much in Target especially when I was looking at 30 dollar toys (aside from a loved 20 dollar toy) but in the grocery store, I couldn't pass up a three dollar buy. That I can afford.

I mean really. I work in a dance studio and throw newspapers. I love my work, I even use my degree. I make enough to pay the bills most of the time, and I'm blessed to have all day at home but I don't have the extras that the holidays seem to be calling for right now as the big day approaches. I am blessed to get tips from customers (makes checking the mail a very happy event lately) but everything has to go somewhere before it can be spent on just anything. My first bunch of tips went towards a mortgage payment so my last check of the year can be spent in a more relaxed way and if I'm blessed with more, it will go towards our other needs and some smaller Christmas things. I hope he understands what I'm trying to do for us. I just want to ease it all a little bit.

12 days of Christmas might do it besides giving us reading time, teaching him about St Nick, and all the little wordly traditions. I give him 12 little things and one larger thing. (Side note below) I've given him 6 little things already with yesterday's being the little toy from the grocery store and today his first stocking that I made for him. He loves his toy more than I thought he would, even crawled to it first thing this morning so I feel like I did good with that. I have little PJs for Saturday that were handmedowns but have a gingerbread man on them, some baby legs to make for Friday, I bought him a holiday plate for one day, a little snowman straw cup from a dollar rack since he loves drinking from my straws and I can't remember what else but maybe a gift a day will give him something he can be proud of and can show his cousins when he gets older.

I'm saving his piano for Sunday morning. I have no doubt he'll love that. He's ten months old, I have to remind myself. He's happy with nothing and the fact that he even shares my interest in pianos (or at least in being a noisemaker) is enough for me. It really is. I worry about how it all looks to outsiders and to him later but it will be enough for us. My mom and sisters get it. They like the idea. I can't buy my sister the Coldplay tickets she wants but I can take care of that library fine since she keeps forgetting to return her library books. I can take holiday photos for my older sister since she keeps talking about taking pictures. My mom is only getting one thing since she keeps talking about it so the three of us went in on her gift. Different can be good.

First, tidbits:

All the holiday singing has paid off, I guess. We were walking around some store that I can't even remember and J started singing to We Wish You A Merry Christmas. High pitched, wailing and just loving it. He also likes Mariah Carrey singing Christmas music too. I like to push the little button in Target where the CDs are and watch his head spin around and him start to squeal and clap.

J met Santa on Saturday and wasn't impressed. I took a photo that I'll upload soon. I have one more photo opportunity for him and maybe he'll react better. I went to one cause we were in that part of town but this next one is so his aunts can be there with him, if we get to make it there that is.

Last night, J became just a little bit more adventurous. His favorite song was being sung on Mnet so he stood up clapping and bouncing for a good while. He learned that you cannot throw your head back when you really don't have the greatest balance but it didn't stop him. He climbed onto the couch from standing when it used to take him standing on something else to get there and he took a step towards me! Awesome! It's a matter of time now I'm being told. Once he gets something in his mind, he is all about it and walking may very well be in there!

So, the sidenote.

I think I'm lining my self up for a special holiday eye roll from a few choice relatives. For Christmas, M mentioned that our tradition looks similar to that of Hanukkah minus the meaning among other things due to the days of gifts. Latkes are not strangers in our house (cause they are just all around tasty) but of course neither is Jesus though I don't think I can raise J to really believe we're celebrating the birth of Jesus in the winter or the secret gift giving of a real Santa Clause. I think celebrating the conception sounds cooler (cooler may not be the best word here!) when you look at the length of days, Biblical meanings and all that. I do like Santa Clause and all the worldly versions of him but I wont take it very far. Mama gives gifts, family gives gifts. Santa is fun to play around with but of course that all wont go over well with the ones who either already think we're odd or still like to put from Santa on my gift.

When asked about only buying him one main Christmas gift, I'll reply with my thoughts on our 12 and this is what I'm sure to get in return:

....*eye roll* ....

and maybe something about making it hard on us, how odd we are, or something but at least I'm happy with us, right? Well I am when I'm not reminded of my finances taking its sweet time to right itself. Generally, its a happy holiday season that I am thankful for and with that I'm off to check the mail in hopes that a few bonus checks are waiting there.

Done!

2011-12-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

*Typing on a Mac is just as much a headache (for this PC user) as trying to type a post from my mother's cell phone. My luck with electronics really need to change!*

Christmas cards are nearly ready thanks to a spark of determination I had yesterday.

The other day, I couldn't get the lighting the way I wanted with the Christmas tree. You saw how those turned out in a previous post. Then there was a day where I missed the natural lighting altogether. My bedroom is only well lit at certain times but it lasts a while most days. Downstairs is another story. I can almost never catch the right light. Its best in the mornings so near two in the afternoon (when I'm ready to do something) its just about shot.

The next day, upstairs, I couldn't get the Christmas lights to work with J being so active.

This is the effect I got with the best face I could get from him:

This is what I was going for. When J had just about had it with me and my camera, I practiced on non-moving items. My sister is using another pic like this but with a bell for her Christmas cards this year instead. Glad I could share :/

Yesterday we were heading out of town to sit with my family at the hospital. My aunt was in surgery but anyway before we left I tried again and finally got pictures I'm happy with. Took half an hour and two other people to keep him occupied but I like them:

Such a busy picture!

I have to figure out how to edit them if at all (no computer), choose one to send or maybe print and send different ones to different people (????) and address my cards but that will be for tomorrow or Saturday. I'm just happy to finally have Christmas pictures taken and nearly sent out!

I still haven't shopped for Christmas though. Yes, I am one of those people who walk around the mall on Christmas Eve looking frazzled and tired with a list of items I can't hunt down cause they're sold out.

12 Days of Christmas

2011-12-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

*Pardon the errors. I'm typing on the phone*

This Christmas is quickly becoming THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVAR (with an A cause its so rad) and we haven't even done anything yet. I am just loving all the newness.

J and I have our tradition started. I'm doing 12 days of Santa/Christmas related stuff. A quick rundown:
We have our advent calendar which starts at 12 days till. Its going to be filled with a teething cookie for each day. I'm late making them.

We have our 12 days of Christmas book to read along with a few different Christmas books to read at night. Not a few a night, one at night but a few different ones. On Christmas we'll read the story of Jesus' birth. I have some stuff on Santa from around the world that he may like when he's older. Totally starting it now. Maybe it will help him sleep.

The first day we write and send Christmas letters and he gets his. I think i'll send him one every year. I found a place that mails letters to santa in case he wants to send one there too.

On Christmas Eve, we'll spend the day baking like my mother did while istening to Christmas music and/ or watching Christmas movies. After we look at the light show, we'll get him into his PJs and give him his first presents (we exchange early as a family) read Twas The Night Before Christmas and get him to bed.

On Christmas morning, I have to watch the Rockettes and some of the parade. I'm filling his stocking and giving it to him right before we leave so he can have something in the car.

Well now that that's planned out we'll see if it happens. We tend to celebrate on our own a good bit anyway so I don't see why not. I want a gingerbread house too.

I forgot to mention the little events during those 12 days, decorating the house, songs, visiting Santa. Fun stuff. I'm a sucker for the holidays. I can see this holiday being one to top and it has everything to do with this adorable face he makes when we read at night. I'm looking forward to it!

Too Good To Be True

2011-12-08T18:24:00.001-08:00

I knew it. Ovulating was great but to expect more than that would be too good to be true. I thought it could mean that things were lining up but instead I should have looked at it as its own little event and left it at that.

My period showed up yesterday a whole week early.

Really?

I started feeling very ill to the point of agitation, walking doubled over and not being able to think clearly enough to remove groceries from the car. I thought about my period to come in about two weeks and how that would surely be hell if I was feeling this bad already. No, I would only have to wait just a few hours to find out just how bad it was going to be. So, yes of course, my hormones are still out of whack and crazed. I knew that and this only confirms it. I'm just not very happy to have that bit of crazy staring me in the face.

The bright side is that it will be out of my system by next week which is when I take J to possibly meet my uncle/god father for the first time. My aunt is also having a major surgery so I'll spend a good bit of time in the hospital. With a period where nothing helps, not being able to get to bed and stay there is the worst thing possible. I'm so glad I wont have to deal with that then.

On this whole cycle thing, maybe next month it'll all come together. All the pieces to the puzzle are now present thanks to ovulation. Just need to line up in order!

Fun things!

I picked up J's stocking stuffers, a few little activities for when he's older and his Christmas card came in the mail today. I love it. I got to write it out and I actually think its cute and doesn't suck which is not my usual. For a first Christmas card, I think he would like it if he could actually read it. I'm so proud of it, so, sorry, but I want to post it.

Next year, I'm going to work it out so that we mail off our Christmas letters/cards and on the same day when we check the mail, his will be in there. You give some, you get some. Our Christmas traditions will be starting in just a few days on the 12th so I'll post them then. I'm almost ready for it.

I started working towards one version of our Christmas pictures. I'll be taking them tomorrow but I do have some random outtakes from yesterday.The holiday pictures have nothing to do with him holding the lights but since I was untangling them to put them on the tree, he decided to help and I stopped and took a few pictures.

My favorite one!

This last one is a little more of what I'm going for but with a different shirt and no flash.
Cute boy!

Chicken soup for this tired, sickly mama's soul

2011-12-06T18:59:00.001-08:00

Sickly, not really. Ailing, maybe. I just have a small cough and stuffy nose again today not to mention that it's cold outside and J has been quite the clingy whiner all day. Teething I think. Looks like the top two aren't coming in as quietly as his last bottom tooth.

I left him with my mom instead of taking him out in the cold and went off to pay a bill, grocery shop and pick up my Christmas cards this morning (marked that off the list sooner than planned). I came back and spent the next 4 or 5 hours prepping and waiting on the soup. J loved it for dinner. He even tried eating it in his sleep. I finally had to just clean him off and put away the highchair. I bought double the ingredients so I can make it again and freeze it for later.

It's super easy to make, doesn't really require measurements but does take a long time. That's the beauty in it though. The longer the better. I got the recipe from a group of local mom's as a remedy when my voice went out right before Thanksgiving. It is awesome and customizable.

Here's how I make mine:

Ingredients:

Whole chicken
at least one chopped onion
lemon juice - between a tablespoon and a quarter cup
fresh ginger - I add a lot since its good for a cold but at least a tablespoon of it chopped
several cloves of garlic also good for a cold and your throat
Thyme
a few chopped carrots
a couple celery stalks
enough corn to make you happy (at least an ear makes me happy)
salt and pepper to taste
large pot

Wash the chicken and remove the giblets packet. Add the chicken to the pot and cover it with cold water.

Add all of the ingredients and bring it to a boil. Once its to a boil, reduce to a simmer for at least an hour.

When the meat is falling off the bone, take it out of the pot carefully and set it aside in a colander over a bowl to catch the drippings. Keep the liquid simmering while the chicken cools. Take the chicken off the bones once cool and set the chicken aside. Return the bones to the pot of liquid. I use a double boiler pot thingy (lol) so the bones don't actually mix. You can just drain it later. Cook for at least another hour if not longer. This part depends on you. I've done it for four hours and for two hours. Both are very good it just depends on if you want all the bone and marrow which is good for you and yummy. If so, let it go longer. One mom lets it go 36 hours. I wish I could. Its sounds really good.

Remove the bones from the pot, cut the chicken into bite sized pieces and put into the liquid. If you don't want mushy veggies, cut some more and add them. I like my carrots mushy. It's also easier for J. Simmer 20 more minutes and then serve. I like mine over rice.

I may have a little more before work to warm me up before the drive there. Of course this is Texas and its not that cold but its cold enough to want warm insides and to be spoiled a little bit if you can call an extra bowl of soup being spoiled. Since I like soup, I do so yay!

Before that bowl though, I've got to get me and this boy in the bath and in the bed. It has been a long day and we both need some relaxation.

Prep - A novel of a post

2011-12-05T20:52:00.001-08:00

Christmas -

We're in full swing.

The Christmas tree is up. M and I hauled it in from the garage yesterday afternoon. J wasn't thrilled with it at first. Its artificial branches were scratchy and odd in his hands. I could tell by the way he kept shying away from then turning over the stray branches I gave him. It kept grabbing at my hair while I was trying to put the three pieces together. It took a couple hours but when we were done he seemed to like it. Every once in a while he'll crawl over to it and slowly reach his hand out to touch it. More than that, he's taken to picking the stray plastic needles off the carpet and eating them. I think he's really starting to like it and thank God I like vacuuming. I'm not big on scooping things out of J's mouth but that comes with the territory, right?

Lights are soon to come both on the tree and on the house. Our first real Christmas in our house and with J. I want it to be big. The biggest task yet really. I'm on the hunt for the perfect lights. I've seen them but not where to find them. Christmas pictures no longer look like the big to do compared to the thought of the lights but those wont happen till the tree is lit since its one of the backdrops but they're going to be done soon. I have a trip to Hallmark planned for Christmas cards which wont be sent out till pictures are taken. The stocking holders are up and have been for a little while but Jett's stocking hasn't been made and mine hasn't been found from the garage. That needs to be done this week or next as well.

There's a few Christmas related sites to take J. The first picture with Santa, the baby friendly interactive first Christmas deal that I've never heard of but am so excited to go to, the Nutcracker both at the studio where I work and with the Houston Ballet. Christmas light show.

I think I've narrowed down all Christmas gifts except for one. This year we've pulled names in the family so I've got one person to focus on (besides J's godfather) which makes this gift buying thing super easy even though I've yet to start there. I was able to list what I would like to get so no surprises there. I hate surprises.

It's for him but I'd be lying if I didn't mention that its for us as well. It's been years since we've had a proper Christmas. Last year we had a relative die, the year before we had just moved in on the 22nd so the most we had were Christmas themed dish towels. Before that I think my mom tried to put it up but having lost her favorite house to the storm, the mood wasn't really joyous.

This year is new. We have so much we want to share with this wide eyed, plastic pine needle eating boy. I hope its at least one to remember and I for sure don't want to let it all pass me by.

And now that I've taken the time to remind myself of my Christmas to do list, I'll move on.

New baby -

As previously posted, I ovulated on the 2nd according to my test strip and my digital test. The surge was still showing up on the 3rd. I tested today to check and nothing is showing. I guess it was real. My fingers, my toes, my heart and everything else is crossed for next month and the next and the next. I've yet to brace myself for the period that's coming up in less than two week but with the excitement of my body working, I'm still on that high.

I didn't remember till yesterday that with the holiday comes holiday bonus. I have no clue how much it will be but I'm hoping for a good amount. I'd like to pay for J's Montessori tuition and maybe something for the new baby. Not any clothes or tiny trinkets or anything but more like donor vials, put storage fees to the side or even the cost of the full IUI.

Wouldn't that be great.

J is getting to be so adventurous that I'm not quite sure how I'll handle him at three. He is so into climbing things that really nothing is safe. He stands so well now that I catch him with his hands letting go and going up in the air when he's into a deep conversation with his grandmother or his aunts. Not much left to do but take steps!

Operation no bed sharing only worked one night this week. The other nights, either my mom or K took J to their bed which helped me none. I got home to a sleeping baby who woke up as soon as he was back in our room. When he was left in his pen, he slept at least an hour longer. It would have been more had be not picked his head up and seen me move around. Tonight is another night.

As for me, I'm working through another cold. This one is not as bad as the first. I'm beginning to wonder when my immune system started to suck and how I can get over this quickly. Chicken soup is called for and was the best remedy during my last cold. My voice was coming back with one bowl but now I'm just hoping that it will give me much needed energy and will get rid of this stuffy/runny nose and drowsy feeling. It worked wonders really.

J and I camped out on the couch today. We alternated between naps, food, nursing, him playing on the floor and me getting through an audio book when he wasn't in my lap. I can imagine J's old moses basket lying near the couch with a new baby in it if I ever have to do this again with a crapped up system. It seems manageable.

We're heading to bed in just a few once he finishes his sippy and I'm done on the computer and done vacuuming his late dinner off the floor. Work is in less than 4 hours. Thank God its Tuesday, another easy day.

I have got to make some soup pronto!

Surprise!

2011-12-02T08:24:00.001-08:00

I was standing at work at 3 this morning when my ovaries switched on.
I have no clue if they were 'on' before that but a switch was definitely flipped and boy did I feel it.
By the time I got home an hour and something later, my insides felt like they had done a hundred crunches without me.

I thought I had already done that, ovulate, since the last two months left me without my usual signs. Taking a guess, I went with an earlier period. I guessed wrong. I came home and pulled out a few tests from the back of my cabinet, I don't remember the tests taking so long before or giving me so much anxiety. The digital test took so long! I thought it was broken.

It might still be broken. The positives match with my ovary pains but I'll test again in about a week at a random time to check. The tests weren't new, in fact, I'm sure they're old. I went to the store to price a 30 count pack for the next few months since I have coupons but came home with nothing. It seemed too expensive (35-45 dollars!?!) for this month since I had no clue what was up. Still don't. I'll test before work this afternoon then again when I get home in the morning.

It would be great to suddenly be on track and start ovulating regularly again. My fear of not ovulating at all is almost alleviated. Almost. It would be nice to not have to worry about weaning J along with potty training and getting him ready for school in the next 8 months too. One less thing maybe? As with most things, time will tell.

For now, period tracker 2011/2012 continues.

Sleep Fail and Tid Bits

2011-12-01T14:17:00.001-08:00

Putting J to sleep was great last night. We had our bath, our storytime, we rolled over and nursed and he was out in no time. I put him into the playpen since the crib isn't lowered and separated and he stayed asleep for a while. He woke up once before I left for work but was back down before long.

I got back from work to find him cuddled up with my sister. He was too comfortable. He had taken his pants off (my sister didn't even know he had any on when she grabbed him up) and was stretched out when I got him. I went ahead and changed his diaper and replaced his pants and it all was shot to hell from there.

There's no putting him back in the pen once he's out and awake or else he'll have too much of a fit and I'll spend too much time trying to put him to sleep. I brought him to our shared bed and found that he couldn't really nurse due to a stuffy nose. Believe it or not that came out of nowhere and I'm sure that's why he woke up in the night.

Needless to say, I'll be trying it again tonight. The new rule is that once he's back asleep after waking up for whatever reason, he has to be put back in the pen. He needs to get used to being in his own space. I'll be lowering the crib ASAP so he's used to that but me getting him and bringing him back up doesn't work. He smells me or something and just wants to nurse and cuddle and then he stays awake. If I can get him to stay asleep, I can come home, get some sleep and be ready for him when he's ready to be up.

What a work in progress.

Bits and Pieces

School

We had our Montessori appointment this morning. I still love it. I want to sign him up but need to make sure its an expense that will easily flow with our budget. Hard to do 8/9 months out especially when I'm hoping to change the job situation a little bit. I also need to make sure to get him working on going to the potty since they'll take my lead and help out. I don't take him like I want to right now. EC should be easier as his signs are easier to read and now that he's signing more (he does two signs now!). I just need to get my butt in gear.

I have one friend who is successful with EC with her 5 month old. I need to refresh and get going so I'm going to ask her tonight what more I can do besides watching his signs, teaching him the signs and the cues.

My sister doesn't like the idea of him going to school. My mother initially considered it a waste of money. He'll be primarily unschooled/homeschooled but the few days out of the week will be awesome and since I'm the mama who has to pay for it, it is settled!

It will also live up to the image I had in my mind when I moved here childless. I have this little fantasy of walking my babe home from Montessori school since its not even two minutes away walking. We actually walk that way in the afternoons and the fantasy is alive and well.

Christmas

Since I'm not napping, I've started cleaning up the living room in prep for all the Christmas decor. My brain is at near spasm mode now that its December 1st and there isn't much time left to ready the Christmas cards/letters. This year I am definitely sending them out and I am not anywhere near being ready for that. My brain will explode if I keep thinking of how not prepared I am right now.

The Christmas tree is coming out tonight and if I can find and trade in the Christmas lights from last year I can start working on photos which is a big reason why my cards aren't together. No pictures to put in them!

Tests

I was looking at my ovulation tests and thought about getting a simple fertility test. That might be great. Then I started looking at my old preg tests which I for some reason still have. There's at least ten in varying shades of pregnant. I've considered throwing them out since I have numerous pictures but I haven't yet. I remembered something I read before about being able to take apart the big blue digital tests that die after 24 hours so I did that. Pretty easy. I took pics for anyone newly pregnant who wants to keep the test strip once the casing becomes useless.

Clearblue Digital Test
flathead screwdriver

Before

I put the flathead into the largest opening in the back and once its came apart, I just continued popping the plastic lose along the sides.

There's the strip turned over on one side


This is the strip turned over. You can see the darker control line, the center line (the line that signals the 'pregnant' words-shows better in person) and then on the other side, there's another line.

\My test is older, 18-ish months old, so that may be why its that darker brown color. I wont be keeping it but its interesting to see how the test still relies on the very basic test strip to show its digital results. Cool.

Back to cleaning and Christmas. Here's hoping I can get something done before the weekend ends!

Pumpkin Chucking

2011-11-30T13:48:00.001-08:00

I am seriously considering chucking my little pumpkin.

When I finished my post last night, he was tucked under my arm sleeping tight. It was perfect cause I was tired and needed to be to work in two hours. There was just enough time for a nap for both of us. With my sitters (my sisters) unavailable for the night, I grabbed him up, left a little later so we could sleep a bit more, took him with me and was home in less than a few hours. It was great. He didn't wake up at all. In the house after a diaper change and finally comfy in bed, he decided it was no longer time to sleep.

Really J?

He doesn't like his legs covered by blankets. I knew that but it was a little cold. I uncovered his wildly kicking legs and covered me cause I have to be covered head to toe to sleep but he decided that wasn't going to work either. He uncovered both of us, kicked his feet for a while before finally crawling to the edge of my bed and lying flat out to hum to himself. Thankfully my bed is sidecarred to his (or well, his to mine) so him hanging over the edge is nothing dangerous. His other half is just in his own bed. I cover myself again thinking the humming, his usual sleepy noise, was a good sign. Why in the world did the humming end with little hands patting me on my suddenly uncovered face?

It was then that I decided for sure that he is going to be chucked right out of my bed really soon. I thought about it and planned it before so he could get used to sleeping on his own but wow is it time to get that going.

I love co-sleeping/bedsharing/sidecarring with him. It worked so well for us. Since birth, I've had the option of grabbing him and cuddling him, nursing him and smelling his head then putting him in his bed, rolling over and falling asleep. I've always liked that he's been so close that nursing in our sleep has been seamless. The lazy person in me rejoiced that wonderful night when sleep nursing just clicked. Now, being the super early morning person that he is, he prefers to crawl into my bed, play with my face, "kiss" my nose and climb on my pillow (where my head is). Not quite the sweet, quiet scene it used to be. I'm not angry with his early antics. If I hadn't been so tired I would have just laughed right there at his cheerful grin (probably egging him on) but no I'm majorly tired today and for that reason, going through days more of this won't work.

I think if I didn't work nights, I'd put up with it a little while longer. The sentimental side of me, the side that thinks about how empty my bed is going to be those few hours, is holding on and really trying hard to figure out different options beyond separating our beds but I think its coming to an end and sooner than I thought it would. Sleep is not the most important thing but working nights, getting home near 4AM on a good day and getting up off and on till I'm out the bed for 9-10AM is driving me crazy. I love him but I guess the time has come for us to sleep apart and sleep fully.

I think I can handle this.

He's looking at the dog. Lately he's been chasing her around with his large toy truck and laughing. He likes this being mobile thing. If only he would save all the activity for during the day, we wouldn't have this issue!

Definitely Maybe

2011-11-29T20:18:00.001-08:00

Today I'm feeling the beginning of something.
My back is aching, my insides are a little achy along with some other definite signs. I think I'm about to start my period. This will be my third postpartum period and its none too predictable. Darn.

I've always been regular since the day I started having periods pretty much. I could set my watch by my period. I would wake up mid dream really early in the morning with the thought that I would have to get up in a few hours and put on a pad. I would know a few weeks in advance and could plan it out. The few true days that I would be down for the count, I tried not to plan anything out of the house. Better to not set myself up to fail.

Now, post baby, it's still early but anything goes apparently. Where I used to ovulate (the 2nd or 3rd) now I'll probably be hunting for something to take the edge off. Cramping is not predictable and neither is flow. I really never considered any hygiene product that wasn't called heavy or extra absorbent, totally passed those other items up in the store and now I'm thinking that on some days my heavy pads are totally wasted. I'd buy light pads but the next period might not use them. The next day even. Minor issue really. It's all just up in the air which doesn't fit me at all.

I have my plans though like always. I'm going to use the next five periods and make them work for me. My OPKs are about to come out full blaze so I can get a clue as to what I'm working with. If I can see when I ovulate (granted I'm actually ovulating each month) I'll know what to do for baby number two. The last thing I want is to get near the starting line and then be told I may have to sit the race out. Been there, done that and even though I obviously did ovulate, get pregnant and so on, some experiences just aren't worth repeating,

So, five months at least then calling the RE, getting in a consult, making a sure plan and who knows maybe something will be in the works for the summer or fall if I can get my to do/to have list worked on.

Speaking of the to do list, today was pretty awesome.

We, me and the boy, picked up a few sweaters for the winter this morning. One of them is perfect for the holiday season and our Christmas photos. His (very late) 9 month appointment was this afternoon. My little man looks great, is doing very well developmentally and like we guessed, is teething big time. His top two are coming right in. Just beneath the surface, she said. I could tell something was coming without running the risk of pulling back a nub once my finger was in his mouth. He's a bit moody lately. Handsome as ever but moody.

He is growing like a champ up 14 pounds from his birth weight and over 11 inches. He's not yet to 50th on height or weight but I wasn't expecting that. He gains a little over a pound a month now that he's super active. Good ole breastmilk and yummy food. Thank God for his constant growth and the reassurance that I'm doing something right somewhere.

We talked about milk alternatives at the appointment. As long as he gets calcium and vitamin D, he doesn't need milk or a sub. I'm liking the idea of cocnut, almond, rice or goat milk (in preference order) and a steady intake of yogurt and things like that. I don't really do milk so not buying would trim the grocery bill not to mention that I felt completely ill after trying some last night after not having it for a while. I'll pass but I'll give him options as he gets older and maybe he will too.. Options, options. Next checkup is at one year!

Lastly, I set up an appointment to go Thursday to check out Montessori school again. J may start next September after he's 18 months old. I went once and looked at the baby room but this will be for an older Jett. Two days a week will be 240 a month which truly beats 975, the price of an infant daily. Two days will be more than enough. I'm planning to start some work from home and the time spent on our own will be good for us and the price looks pretty good too.

Dinner has been made, a bottle pumped, J is sleeping and so I need to go catch a few bits of sleep before work tonight.