Paintings can be complete surprises and this one certainly maxed out in that category. It started with a headache. Not an ordinary headache but a completely head-busting blinger of a headache that went on all night.

I got up in the morning and it eased slightly, but not a lot. A great white light was in the center of my head, surrounded by pain. I could see it was a major energy shift happening, but it was going far too slowly to suit me.

I wondered what would happen if I put my awareness in the white light in the center of my head instead of just watching it. When I did so, I saw this image and immediately wanted to paint it. I thought the process of painting it could move me through this latest shift more rapidly. My aching head liked that idea a lot!

I went into the studio and started hunting for a stretched canvas I could use, but none were the right height/width proportion for the image I had seen. I started sorting through a stack of panels leaned against the wall and found one that looked like the right shape. When I pulled it out and turned it around, it had one of my canvas giclees laminated on it. I had not yet gotten around to hand embellishing the print.

That poor print was doomed. I put it on the easel and painted it white with my acrylics. While it dried, I laid out tracing paper on the table and drew the outlines of the image I had seen. By the time I was done, the paint was still wet.

Annoyed, I got out the heat gun and played it across the paint. I am happy to say I did not set it on fire. The paint hastily dried and I took it to the table. A sheet of graphite paper let me trace the outline onto the canvas and I soon was painting.

My head still ached horribly, but somehow I was really enjoying painting. I kept at it like a woman possessed and the headache gradually eased. The last of it finally disappeared by 3 p.m. I finished the painting at 6 p.m. and was just cleaning my brushes when my artist husband came in the door.

I asked him to go down to the studio to see something. He assumed I was going to show him my progress on When A Flower Dreams, a painting I was in the midst of creating. When he saw this unexpected abstract on the easel his immediate response was, “Where in the hell did that come from?”

As he looked at it I explained how the painting came to be. He said I should have headaches more often and that he wished he had painted it. He likes most of my work but I have never heard him say that about any of my other paintings.

I had not told him the title was Metamorphosis. So I was delighted when he said, “If there was anywhere to put it, which there is not, but if there was and if it was me, I would paint a butterfly in it.” Abstract or not, it had clearly communicated to him.

That, along with the fact my headache was completely gone, was quite enough for me.

Copyright © Lexi Sundell 2010. All Rights Reserved.

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In the bad news of the day BP stands tarred in condemnation for the horrendous crime against nature their incompetence has unleashed. The bad news does not stop there. It is not just BP. This is an issue for all of humanity and none of us can dodge it, disclaim our responsibilities, or ignore it.

Only one issue in this matter is of any significance. Are you as a human being aligned with your soul in service to the divine so that you live every day in reverence for the life of all beings and the earth herself? This is a question both for the individual and for humanity as whole.

The primary purpose of humanity is to master free will and choice. Two main paths lead to this mastery. One is the often traveled road of self destruction. By ignoring our connection to the divine we can focus on our own unbalanced emotional needs or mentally driven ideas that spin out of control without the vital surrender to the divine. Greed, war, excessive self-indulgence, and other atrocities mark this path.

The far less common path is that of choosing to surrender to the divine which leads to the joyful acceptance of all the life on this planet. This path usually gets scant attention, which is reason enough for our predicament in the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Mastering the art of free will and choice by massive self-destruction is a gruesome and painful way to learn the consequences of our choices, but the mass consciousness of humanity has mired itself in that path.

I have witnessed a wide range of responses and reactions to the oil spill. I saw a comment online by someone complaining his vacation to Florida was being spoiled and he wished the oil spill had been delayed a few days. How small minded and self interested is that?

Others have reacted with anger or emotional pain at the huge destruction to the ecosystem. Still others are left wondering how to survive with their livelihoods damaged or destroyed. And then there are those who discuss using a nuclear bomb to seal the oil leak.

Blaming BP is epidemic. BP is, of course, far from blameless, but their acts are only the tip of this particular iceberg in human consciousness.

No one doubts that this is a time of massive upheaval and change. The havoc in global financial conditions is unmistakable, even to those who usually keep their minds buried in their television sets. Other changes even more unpredictable loom on the horizon.

So what on earth is going on? That is indeed the question.

Great transformational energies are moving through our entire solar system, our planet, our own individual beings. This is not a tidy process. Everything mired in outmoded patterns is getting thrown out in the cosmic house cleaning. New patterns we do not understand are replacing them, in a great stew of chaos.

The earth has her own deep transformation moving with inexorable power. For untold eons this planet has been a refuge for those of us who came to hide, to struggle with our wounds from unknown battles. The earth has been a sanctuary, although not often recognized in that role.

Now the earth sets a new course as her own transformation unfolds. She is no longer holding the sanctuary but is moving into some new role of her own choosing. That profound shift has been like an earthquake in human consciousness, just as though our anthill had taken a huge kick.

Without pause, another change enters the world with the BP oil spill. The earth is choosing not to tolerate the misuse of humans she has endured for so long. The choice to master free will and choice by self-destruction will be accelerated now, even as the choice to master free will and choice by service to the divine will also be accelerated.

The division is wrenchingly deep as humanity tries to make its own evolutionary leap in this chaotic flux of energies. Unfortunately even some of those who cry out against the destruction in the oil spill are still doing so out of self interest.

I love the beauty of this planet and the way I have experienced it in my life. I do not want to let that beauty go.

However, I have to ask why should the earth hold back from choosing a cycle in which she is loved and respected by all who live here? Does she deserve to be plundered and despoiled? Do any of us deserve to be plundered and despoiled?

The answer seems obvious enough to me. If I am serious about my choice to align my soul with the divine, I must surrender to this process. I do not understand it all and I do not know how the transformation will complete. As humans we may not be part of the picture anymore if too many hold to the path of self-destruction.

I do know the choice that I find worthwhile and trust that path for myself. And I ask for a blessing for the earth in her new cycle as she shakes off the old patterns, the old ways of being.

So what choice do you make at this crossroads for humanity?

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In Jonathan Fields recent brief post he asked if creativity is an addiction. He had a couple of other questions as well, but the bulk of his post was a quote by Pearl S. Buck who said:

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.

Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off…

They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating.

Pearl S. Buck plainly did not distinguish between empathy and creativity, which are two entirely different processes. She simply described unbalanced empathy with a dose of creativity added. This was not much of an exploration or definition of creativity, so using her words to leap into a discussion of creativity as addiction was a leap into greater error yet.

The fact of the matter is that human beings are inherently creative, so it is not an abnormality at all. School often enough stamps most of those creative impulses into dormancy so many adults do not even realize they are creative beings. If you are one of these adults, just try going through an entire day glaring angrily and snapping at everyone around you and see what you have created by the end of the day. That should leave no doubt that in myriad unnoticed ways we are endlessly creative in our lives.

It is entirely possible to be creative without being particularly empathetic. Creativity is a way of combining elements or concepts to come up with something new, probably something a bit unexpected. To use art as an example, most people respond to art that tickles at the edge of their normal way of perceiving, because that is what they experience as innovative and exciting. If it goes too far past what they perceive as normal, they do not connect to it all, and if it falls short of their boundaries it bores them. This spectrum of innovation and excitement is characteristic of creativity and does not have anything directly to do with empathy unless empathy itself is being explored in the process.

Empathy is a warmly human quality which can be experienced in a variety of ways, just as creativity can be. Overly sensitive people are often overwhelmed by their unbalanced empathy, but this is a distortion of what should be a normal process. Empathy can accompany a drive to creative expression, but should not be mistaken for creativity itself, as Pearl S. Buck did.

Her description speaks more clearly about distorted empathy than healthy creative expression. When one opens the gates within oneself to that divine source of inspiration, it does lead to great outpourings of creation. Since I believe that our human purpose is to clearly express that amazing divine essence that lies in each of us, I do agree it can be fairly said that none of us are really alive unless we are creating, each of us in our own unique ways.

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If the competition still existed I would easily have it nailed for this month. When I am tired and confronted with more than I can accomplish, sometimes I choose spontaneous shortcuts. Usually this is ok. But last week I tripped over one particular annoying bucket one too many times and I solved the problem, sort of.

This bucket held some leftover seed starting mix, and a couple of years ago an astonishingly diligent mouse piled a bunch of cilantro seeds on top of the mix. Carefully removing cilantro seeds was low on my priority list and the bucket has been uselessly in the way ever since. I finally got fed up with it.

I dumped the whole thing into the muck tub that holds the recycled potting mix from the poor plants I never got planted last year when I got sick. I figured I already have cilantro self-seeding all over the place so weeding a few more would be no big deal. Then I continued mixing the recycled mix half and half with fresh potting mix as I pot things up this year.

Well. The mouse had apparently also collected a lot of sunflower seeds and peas. It looked like quite a lot of them as I churned it into the rest of the stuff in the tub. As I used the moistened mix the next few days I found sprouting peas, which I have plopped into little pots. Like about two dozen of them so far.

The sunflowers I simply uprooted until the warm days made everything start germinating. Including all the bazillions of grass seeds I had not even seen. I now start each morning by weeding wee sprigs of grass from the most recently potted plants. Otherwise I would end up growing little pots of sod.

This is the most nonsensical thing I have done in a long time. Perplexed at how to deal with the remaining mix that is now a tangle of sprouts, I threw it in the bottom of the big pots I put tomatoes in last night, announcing to them, “Have some salad!” Then I put non-seedy mix on top of that, deep enough it should be the end of the problem.

I wryly informed my husband I should put up a sign where I pot the plants, “Never underestimate human stupidity.” He laughed and said I should put up a sign, “Never underestimate a mouse.”

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Star Songs also reveal the journey of the soul, an incredibly rich and wonderful tapestry of experience. Accelerated evolution is the hallmark of this turbulent time on earth and the Star Songs are a great tool for this purpose.

The first painting already appears on this blog, Beginning Anew, an appropriate title for the start of a whole new cycle. We do this continuously in our lives, and sometimes with quite drastic events. At other times new cycles start easily with the gentle gladness of a spring breeze.

Each meditation in the series is held within a Crystalline Consciousness session to bring a profoundly healing experience to you, the listener. The meditation that goes with Beginning Anew is attached as a podcast at the end of this post. I hope you try it and then leave me feedback in the comments.

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And here’s a special offer of a Beginning Anew giclee print and its meditation CD for my blog readers.

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Beginning Anew is an apt name for the first painting I have done in months, the first painting since I became too ill to paint. It was a challenging time in which I nearly died a couple of times from an entrenched systemic infection.

That is now behind me. As my rather battered body slowly recovers strength, the other levels of my being are in a state of heightened thriving. I remained so deeply internal during this time that much of my inner landscape has changed dramatically.

It is now time for these new gifts and insights to flow out into the physical world, and this painting is the first step in that happening. By my usual standards, this is a rather small painting, 18 inches wide by 24 inches high, acrylic on canvas.

However, it carries the energy of the vision behind it. Beginning Anew speaks to the process of personal rebirth as well as the powerful transformations occurring here on this beautiful planet we inhabit.

At any given moment, certain cycles are always ending and new ones beginning. This is the natural flow of life. The ability to release the old with trust and joy opens doors for undreamed new possibilities to surprise and delight us on our journeys.

The meditation that goes with this painting can be heard here, where you can also read about the giclee print of the painting and the Star Songs subscription. Lexi Sundell’s original painting is available at RiverStone Gallery.

Copyright © Lexi Sundell 2009. All Rights Reserved.

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Awakened is the latest of my recent paintings. The subject matter is a red poppy with stars rising in a blue mist from the center. Characteristic of this series, the backdrop is starry space, this time also featuring a small moon.

The poppy is lush and sensual, bathed in divine light, and holds a great energy. In this work, the poppy itself represents the awakened goddess. Her petals are partially transparent, showing the stars beyond the flower.

The blue mist of radiant stars rising from the poppy evoke memories of the creation of our souls, a song of joy rising in the vast expanse of both outer and inner space. If we were to directly witness the creation of souls, we would hardly be able to contain the incredible sound of joy that brings them into existence.

From the upper right corner comes a beam of violet light that awakened the goddess. The colors in this painting are particularly rich with blues, purples, and reds.

Lexi Sundell’s acrylic painting Awakened, 48″ high by 46″ wide with painted gallery wrap edges, and limited edition prints are available at RiverStone Gallery.

Copyright © Lexi Sundell 2009. All Rights Reserved.

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Night Lightning

Our souls walk the night skies in our dreams. If we are fortunate, we may wake and catch the vision of those magnificent starry expanses inviting us to merge with our souls.

An apt symbol for the passion of the soul as it flows through time and space is the horse, which often has been used to represent human passion. Great swirling energies dance in the mane of the horse, electric colors of lightning enlivening our beings when we least expect it.

The head and neck of the horse hold a profound stillness, the signal of the void. The void is not a space of nothingness, but instead contains the full potential of everything, all possibilities not yet brought into form. The void glitters with a quiet aliveness that awaits myriad creative choices.

After the lightning of the soul strikes our hearts in the night, we move into this void where we discover our own new potentials. If we rest in deep stillness, we will emerge restored and refreshed, suddenly inspired with dreams newly discovered.

Then let us touch our lives and create those dreams from the lightning inspirations of our souls.

Lexi Sundell’s painting Night Lightning and limited edition prints are available at RiverStone Gallery.

Copyright © Lexi Sundell 2008. All Rights Reserved.

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Starwings, 48"w x 36"h

Doesn’t everyone yearn to be loved into magnificence? Isn’t love what sustains a caterpillar as it goes through the unimaginably strange process of dissolving its bazillion legs, indeed, its very identity, into an unknown goo with the potential of one day flying?

What caterpillar ever dreamed of flying as it happily strolled along leaves, selecting the tastiest parts to bite and consume? How solidly anchored to earth do all those legs make a caterpillar anyway?

As the stirrings of change disturb the caterpillar, it retreats into a chrysalis, seeking safety and comfort. Safety it may find there, but comfort quickly flees as the stirrings of change become a full fledged assault on the caterpillar’s very being.

So how would love sustain a caterpillar through the transition from the known to the utterly unknown? The chrysalis in its shimmering colors holds the world away from the chaos within it. Seeking love from the world outside the chrysalis is not really an option.

As always, love first arises from within the self. Love directs the myriad processes of transformation, creating amazing and unanticipated beauty from humble beginnings. So it is for the caterpillar, as it becomes something it never even dreamed for its future.

Eventually the goo has morphed into a new form, still unable to fly. The new being is folded, crumpled, and crammed into the tight confines of the chrysalis. Eventually the claustrophobia is too much and this new being breaks out of the coffin of the caterpillar.

The miracle of transformation continues as the wings slowly unfold like a flower gently opening in the dawn light. Liquid pumps through the veins of the wings until they stand straight and graceful, needing only time to dry before the maiden voyage.

The wings of a butterfly sparkle with the memory of stars. After all, the matter of our familiar and beloved earth is the leftover remains of stars long gone by. So the butterfly sits, drying, the remnants of stars coursing through its veins and forming its being.

When ready, the butterfly opens its wings like a heart in surrender to divine love. At last, in holy ascent, the butterfly takes flight, delicate, fragile, and somehow timelessly enduring. So may we all.

Lexi Sundell’s painting Starwings and limited edition prints are available at RiverStone Gallery.

Copyright © Lexi Sundell 2008. All Rights Reserved.

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My most recently completed painting, Transcendence, is acrylic on canvas, 36” wide by 46” high with painted gallery wrap edges, featuring two dahlias in a still life. It has been interesting watching people’s response to the work as they key into my painting intention from their own individual perspectives.

The concept that dominated the painting process was that of becoming a transparent vessel filled with divine love. This is one of those pretty concepts that can quickly turn into a quagmire when attempted in real life.

After all, what is involved with becoming a transparent vessel in the first place? Most of us would be mortified to walk down Main Street without any clothes, and becoming a transparent vessel requires an even more rigorous nakedness.

Everything in the heart that has been hidden from others has to become visible. Worse yet, everything in the heart hidden from oneself has to become visible. This is not a task for the faint hearted at all!

The other part of this equation is filling the transparent vessel with divine love. That love is what illuminates all the hidden uglies in the first place. It cannot co-exist with them in the same space however. One has to heal or transmute everything that was hidden so that divine love can fill its space.

The process can be quite intimidating, inspiring the urge to turn and run from the whole affair. At that point it is helpful to use discernment in how one views the hidden unpleasantness.

The crucial issue is to recognize what is one’s true essence and what is merely wreckage and debris from the untidy process of living in the physical realm. Once that distinction is clear, the hidden aspects are not as disturbing and can be allowed to dissolve in the light of one’s true essence.

As the transparent vessel fills with divine love, entire galaxies of being may be discovered within it. The goddess may emerge, radiant with symphonies of color.

Spirit blooms in an explosion of light from the divine as the earlier fears of being fully seen dissolve and fade away.

The painting is available at RiverStone Gallery.

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