Enfuis™

while I'm here...

2010-08-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

While others are trying to fit in, mold their self image and up hold this lie of life. While others try to find the fits and the material to manage to take away the attention from the sorrow of their eyes. While others try to hide in their walls of material founded in the deaths of others sweat to eat. While others drown themselves in manipulation, mind, body, and soul....

I'm here in search. Knowing, the search it self is the escape from it all. This, what we think isn't our existence. How I'd throw it all away, the anger, the pride, everything. Just for a moment.... just while I'm here. I guess like soldiers, we fight in...with no explanation given.

just a moment

2010-08-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm just gonna rant for a sec.

Time to time things come up. I deal with whatever head on. I don't like debris lingering. These past two bloody years have been ultra crazy. No details necessary. I've always wondered, like anyone else, whats life about? To me, life is what you make it. I'm not worrying what society is telling me. Yet these few trails of tested me, like no other. Its funny though, one minute I can say it doesnt really matter. Then on my soul, it weights me down.

"When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things..."

Sometimes I sleep late, not wanting to think and analyze anything. Sometimes I cant sleep, emptiness kinda creates an echo. When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things. I like Reese's, cheesecake, and cake(sweets) in general. Its not funny. I don't know. I find comfort in that. A moment to laugh, to sing, to dance, to dream, to breathe, to try to love... again. Either way, there's work to do, and I don't have time for this.

p.s.

just like a cloud, it uplifts <3

take a turn at the...

2010-08-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

It crossed my mind. I asked you a couple times, numerous times. It was obvious in your eyes, your energy, your voice. Though you don't know whats going on with me, I'm still asking you how are you?

Either way, I wish you the best.

cleanse

2010-07-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

Art Credit: ketchup-suicide.

Something about bathing. Strange right?

The act of cleansing consists of removing impurities.

I love the water, the warmth, the smells...sounds familiar.

I find myself holding on to a lot.

I didn't ask to. Nor do I practice.

You just look around time to time and see familiar pieces and wonder.

Why are you here?

Maybe my aura consists of something?
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not.
My genuine affection and care has been diluted by societies inner exchange of false visuals.
I rid of the aroma daily, watching it all drain.

Still in my heart I feel...

nightmares

2010-07-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

I had a nightmare. I was in control. I was me.

daft punk

2010-07-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

The remaining robot continues to walk but eventually also gives up. He falls to his knees and tries to reach the buttons on his own back, but to no avail. Instead, he removes his helmet and reveals a printed circuit board face. He repeatedly slams the helmet onto the ground until it is shattered. Using one of the shards as a burning-glass, he focuses the sunlight to set his hand ablaze. The film ends showing the robot, completely on fire, walking in slow motion through darkness.

uub

2010-07-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

They come to you in their despair.

Slowly expanding their comfort zone

Know well what comes and tells.

Sweet moments they bring... notice how they sing.

A spell yet never what you mean

False connectivity (Loud they speak, humble they seek)

Pointing the hands they held when (renditions come again)

Specially designed for the retarded...excuse me, now I'm the cold hearted.

Come closer... my image seemingly doesn't gleam strong enough.

The naivety drowned by the hesitant ways.

If it aint thrust thrust another head to the rush

it simply isn't anything but false connectivity.

Save a breath, and a numerical exchange

save an "i" and an "e"

already know how ub

a thousand butterflies

2010-05-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

When I depart this world. I hope to leave it better then I came. Hope is the one thing we carry that makes us dynamic in the universe. Challenging the inevitable. When I go, I wont be remembered long. Darling not even you. I wish a thousand butterflies from my lips to you. Battling tears, a fight one rather embrace, yet hope....we continue to hope.

This system

2010-05-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

Those before us, civilized humanity. Creating this system we now call "life".
See money, education, they go hand to hand. Designed to bound humanity to purpose.
Its a system, creating the term "Survival of the fittest." A game if you will.

"Guess not everyone's designed to breach those walls"

Some tools are natural and others are gained. We're no more then an ant hill. Never questioning, repeating in new lights. Its crazy how we follow the masses yet live in our own little worlds. Then again what do I know. Governments and monarchies alike control the people. It has its pros and cons. Then that puts me in a different thought. If we know of the matrix, those who couldn't handle it...what would they, "the people" do? Guess not everyone's designed to breach those walls.

You ever wonder how movie plots come about? Maybe we're getting bits and pieces from the future. Look at "Superman" and how hes planet was destroyed. How is it we can create these stories yet can't learn from them? As technology grows, our self thought becomes weaker.

This system...our self destruction. Who'll save us?

waited and hated and faded

2010-05-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

For the longest, I felt the need to be loved. Though in this need, I tried to find myself. I believed I needed to be loved in order to be complete. I needed someone to love me so I knew that guy in the mirror was someone. I needed to be loved, so I could love me. I was afraid walking this planet by myself. No more.

"the idea of "love" is beautiful."

At this point in life, I don't believe in marriage, relationships of any kind. I do cherish the genuine essence of a connection with someone. Nothing is forever, but the idea of "love" is beautiful. Like any idea, its man made. I read somewhere "construit pour être seul." Means "built to be alone." Destiny is made by decisions made in the present, I just decided.

Many wont agree, "love heals all" or "love will come" or my favorite, "your crazy." That's fine. "I see and hear everything and still smile...yet Im no god"

Many many moons

2010-05-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Actions of course speak louder then words. Simplistic jesters leave more powerful messages.
Seen all times, highs and lows. Taken the light and tough blows. Might try to rock me yet I know this dance all too well. Might add a new step but venture a bet, there's never regret. Silly, this number wont last long.

No need for anger, dismiss them all. No need for words, cold shoulders from vixens to fix them.
Remember now, we might share the same planet, but this moon here...no access granted.The distance, it aint gonna hurt me, the cold, it aint gonna erk me.

Think of it this way, if this moon comes down, I'll be crushing into you. The damages...catastrophic.

-Mahad
Je devais être seul

wet walk

2010-04-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Quiet nights make Johny a simple guy. Walked in the rain, dark streets and random sounds. It felt good... warm...

defeat

2010-04-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

As a kid I hated the dark...not knowing what would come out within it...its strange cause now I feel comfort in it. Black is my favorite.

I began in a box, and little by little breaking down walls and discovering, confirming, and reconsidering. Times where I'd isolate, finding comfort in it...knowing only I will know all about me. Times where these walls put strain in my communication...where I felt I couldn't connect...skeptical in so many ways.Times when I'd reach out, knowing I wouldn't get an answer. Times where mirrors had there colorful adjectives... "these nights are haunting me, I don't wanna run..." I just want to leave.

"Splash a little color, give me something to believe" put on a song, and just breathe.

Our spirits feed on our imagination...how quickly in our heads can we feel "defeated" when in reality...nothing is set in stone. One wall down...

Art Credit: by Ketchup Suicide

title it you

2010-04-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I always felt like I was missing something. I can be a little impatient but Id always wondered whats next or how long. As a kid, they tell your age, let you know the life expectancy and expect you to fulfill it with "dignity" and "success". So I always felt the time ticking. Its always up a stream rather with the flow, not in the sense of hardship but understanding.

Some can pick a title and follow it, others search and wonder while many fall into a fix by force. Have you ever thought, whats life as an animal? There purpose and mental anguish figuring it out? Its funny, cause we divide and title everything to the T.They roam here bound by the forces of nature and the hereditary tendency of their ancestors. I could sit here and tell you life means nothing or ask why are we here and go back and forth on religion and society. I'm not. See it how you feel, feel and wonder.

I feel, as if I'm fulfilling temporary fixes. Like the seasons change, or high and low we go...all the way to the end..."Cant let just anybody hold me". I guess I shouldn't say too much, or "they" might send a pretty little rock down my throat.

I just read this and said, "Its like sharing with a wall..." guess its better that way. shh.

Wake up

2010-04-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

*ALARM*

Are you bound by your geographic boundaries, man made by man's "belief"? These "words" these "lines" we created, can be destroyed.

Take control, today.

Smile

2010-04-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

That's not a smile.

That's you holding it together like a damn ready to flow.

Your eyes glowing in hope for yesterdays promises.

Body aching for rest, cause every time you lay your head your mind is always wondering.

Emotions becoming numb to the world around you, knowing its ever so familiar face.

I said smile, yet you cant wondering how long it would last.

Durand's Song

2010-04-10T15:28:00.000-07:00

Its strange, when you ask someone "How are you?" and they respond, "I'm well." What has been written on ones soul, you'll never now.

Everyone has a story. With 7 billion souls roaming this planet, one can only imagine what our neighbors, brothers, and sister go though. Within this diluted society of love and hate, lies and yesterdays thoughts...we continue to grow, continue to thrive.

The first poem "Remix to a lullabi" was read by: Durand Bernarr http://www.youtube.com/Alcoholharmony
The second poem "Durand's Song" was read by: Akeem Rollins

"You are not defined by your past, yet how you proceed."

I proceed to thrive, no matter if I know why I'm here or not.

So I thought...thought wrong

2010-04-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

Its strange.
I had such a pretty feeling, then stopped.

These days long as they are, and short as they may seem.
Filled with so ons and what nots.

But I promised I, and said a small prayer...
Lights of another time come through, and hours of only short beats all on you.

With your short comings and half baked. Then again time doesn't exist.

Im walking in circles... I'm angry now... I giggle now...
Its just my imagination.

You knew better... so I thought...thought wrong.

M.O.V.E.

2010-03-25T19:03:00.000-07:00

Such a beautiful dance.

We know nothing of it.

Up in the moons with me... down under the angry sea.

Such a beatiful picture.

The lights, the smells... the feels.

I hear the music... tears are moving but my dance doesnt care.

Move. Move. M.O.V.E.

My Enfuis (1)

2010-03-23T10:06:00.001-07:00

Enfuis

This cigarette burns like my soul.

The more I draw on it...

The more it goes.

They say it glows,

Atleast.... that's what I'm told.

They tell me to just hold on,

And I can make it through.

So, I put it in my palm.

Another lie just to make me burn

Another lie just to make me hurt

Another lie just to make me yearn.

... Now I need another one

Just so I can live...

Another lie

Another cig

By: M. Renelaurent

________

Melodic Inspirations

Music makes me feel as if my soul could speak
Just an utter whisper could even make my knees go weak
Vibe'n to a wordless song, spirit crying to the beat
Wholeness is the only feeling that I ought to seek
Passion ain't even the word I could use to describe
The feelings that seep out and the emotion I feel inside
A melodic inspiration makes me want to cry
I just let the tears flow, doesn't hurt my pride
Let 'em drop down my face cuz I cannot hide
How the melody and my spirit always seem to align
That amazing feeling deep down within my soul
To make it and music become one is my goal.

By: Chanell Higgins

Special thank yous to M. Renelaurent and Chanell Higgins. <3

Lets Enfuis(Escape)

2010-03-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

Something on your mind? Question? A Poem? Just wanna vent? Email Enfuis@Gmail.com Anything and everything. Anonymously or credited. I'll post here... it better be good =)

-Mahad(Enfuis)

tag #99489348284739893489

2010-03-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

No need for pitty moments and sick lies you see.
Cause I dont believe.

The "goals" are nothing but false cheese to a rat. Images Images.

No no, all is well. No need to share, no need to glare.

Racing for titles... yet we all end up with tags... "Body #9924878402023217874"

Your touch is cold you see
No need for false connections
Cause I dont believe....

tell me

2010-03-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

What was that song you sang... come here and sing it again.

So pretty of you to hold that note... now lie to me again.

If its just for a second. Its ok.

just wait

2010-03-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

... I cant even hold on to a little joy.

Lay your head

2010-02-27T07:29:00.000-08:00

I'm not intrigued by my surroundings. Cardboard manifested surroundings. I'm enlightened everyday of the reality. So I now know why they do as they do. I dont want to be apart of it... nor do I want to drift away. "Will it ever cloy, this odd diversity of misery and joy"

So we find what we can to seek comfort. Lay your head. Cause it all means nothing... at all.