Engaged Marriage

A Simple Love Story (and the secret to a happy marriage)

Dustin — Thu, 10 May 2012 02:08:59 +0000

Those blue eyes looked up at her while she paused, dish towel in her hands.

“What was it like to get married to Daddy? Was he silly like the boys at school?” she asked again. When did her eight year old turn sixteen and wonder about love?”

We were different then, sweetheart,” she skirted the question.

“But look at your face? You look so happy Mommy!” she held the new-found photo up to her weary eyes.

Yes, she was happy then. And she was different.

She quickly corrected herself – it’s not that I’m unhappy now! I love my children. I love my husband. It’s just so…different, yes…

Why was she suddenly so very tired? That little face still waited for an answer; so curious. Where did she find that old picture anyway!?

The kitchen suddenly became smaller as she was drawn back to the day he proposed to her in that restaurant. What was it called again?

She gently set down the dish towel, pulling her little one onto her lap, holding the picture between them as they sat down and she began to tell the tale…

“Your daddy took me to my favorite restaurant back then – it was Italian, but I don’t think it’s there anymore…” and time whisked them away…

Their two heads huddled over that picture together at the kitchen table. She hoped her daughter hadn’t noticed her voice crack as she spoke of walking down the aisle toward the man of her dreams. She could still see him there.

Her face flushed as she remembered their honeymoon. Her teary eyes danced with laughter as she remembered that they never used that scuba gear they bought, not even once. Her daughter just listened; fascinated with the story of their love.

So involved with the photo and the story, she hadn’t noticed him come in until she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Daddy! Mommy is telling me about when you asked her to marry you!” She hastily tried to hide her face before he saw the tear on her cheek.

“She is, is she?” he half-whispered as he gently brushed the tear away with his thumb. “You know, she’s even more beautiful today”.

“Oh, don’t be silly! I badly need a haircut and I’m wearing your old t-shirt!” she moved to continue with dinner; embarrassed.

“In fact, she’s so beautiful…” he held her so she couldn’t escape, “I think we should go out on a date this Friday! What do you think, kiddo? Should I take your mom out and leave you guys with Gramma?” He scooped up his little girl.

“Honey, we can’t possibly ask Mom to do that! Besides, we’re on a budget!”

“Oh Mommy! You should go with Daddy! Isn’t he handsome!? We’ll be good, I promise!” her daughter pleaded with her.

“I’ll call your mom and ask her to keep the kids overnight. She’s always offering. It’s time we took her up on it. We can just rent a movie and have a quiet dinner here – that fits the budget, right? When was the last time you and I just hung out together?”

Her mind swam with all the reasons she shouldn’t.

The kids were still so small. Friday was only two days away! Wasn’t it being selfish to not have an “important” reason to leave the kids with her mother? She usually had movie night with the kids on Friday, wouldn’t they be disappointed? Saturdays were hockey games and house-cleaning, they couldn’t stay up late…

Oh, but her heart remembered the feeling of being just the two of them. How his arms felt around her. How the world just disappeared. God, when was the last time she felt that way? Her mind saw him there in the story, standing there, waiting for her.

He was looking at her that way now. Her heart skipped a beat. Could it be that he still felt that way about her? They hadn’t talked, really talked for so long. She had no idea what he thought about these days. They used to talk about everything.

“Yes, I still need you” his eyes told her. Had he read her mind? She used to think he could.

Minutes passed. Why was this such a difficult decision? Again, her mind drifted back to the story she’d just told. It seemed like such a far away place and time.

Yes, she was different now. But she was still a woman. A mother, yes; but a woman who needed to be with her best friend. To laugh and talk about things besides parent teacher meetings and hockey schedules.

She still felt a little bit of that passion she used to feel whenever she looked at him. The flame hadn’t gone out yet. Now, his eyes seemed to plead,

“Let’s go there again. I’ve missed you”

“I’ve missed you, too” she said aloud. “Yes! Let’s do it!”

Her daughter squealed in delight and ran off to tell her brothers; yelling, “Mommy and Daddy are going on a date!”

She didn’t hear their replies as he pulled her towards him; dishtowel, old t-shirt and all.

She was lost in his passionate kiss of “right now” – so much better than the one she remembered of long ago….

Does this story resonate with you?

We’ve been there…

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7 Budget Friendly Date Ideas You Can Use This Weekend

Dustin — Wed, 02 May 2012 15:17:26 +0000

Note: This is a guest post from Mary Edwards. I LOVE these fun and frugal date ideas!

It is important to keep that flame burning in your relationship and the best way to do that is to take time as a couple and go on a date.

Don’t let money be the reason you and your loved one lose that spark. Not every outing has to break the bank.

There are plenty of fun and romantic budget friendly dates to dabble in! Here are 7 budget friendly ideas to get you started:

Picnic in the Park

Make some tasty treats; grab a bottle of wine and a blanket. Head to your local park and relax on the grass. Bring some bread to feed the ducks and enjoy the relaxation.

Most parks have fun things to participate in like small farmer markets, swings or paddle boats. You most likely won’t spend over 20 bucks for this date.

Drive In Theater

Unfortunately, drive in theaters are getting less and less common. But if your area is lucky to have one, check it out!

It’s very enjoyable and inexpensive. Pack some goodies and a warm blanket and get ready to snuggle up. If a drive in is not close to you, check with your city about movies in the park. Some parks will show a film during the warmer months at night.

Brewery or Winery Tour

Local, small breweries and wineries are always pushing for people to take tours, so tour ticket costs are very low. This is great way to support your local economy and enjoy these tasty sips. The tour most likely consists of learning about their business, tasting their products and going home with a new glass!

Date at Home

Why leave when you have everything at home? Clean the house up a bit, take the kids to grandmas and set up the dining room table. Cook dinner together, play some tunes, light the candles and pour the wine.

An evening home is inexpensive and can be quite romantic. Try dancing to your favorite CD in your living room. Go ahead, no one’s watching.

Local Dive Bar

Nothing like a good hole in the wall bar to get your competitive side going. That small bar down the road from your home most likely has pool tables and darts plus cheap beers!

This is fun and out of the ordinary for couples, but you can enjoy people watching other locals – and don’t forget quarters for the juke box.

Ice Skate or Roller Skate

During the winter months check for outdoor ice skating. Most tickets are under 15 bucks each to skate for an hour or two. During the warmer months, head over to your local indoor skating rink, there always some sort of specials going on.

Try not to laugh when your partner falls.

Fruit Picking

This is definitely different from your typical dinner and a movie. What is great about fruit picking is that again, it supports your local businesses and plus dinner will be fresh and delish! Check your city for the nearest farm, farms will most likely provide all the supplies you need for a low cost. This is a great weekend date!

Call a babysitter, stop making excuses and start dating again! There is nothing like trying something new and fun with your loved one to keep things going. Search your local city for events and possible date ideas, you will be surprised to see how many are low cost if any at all.

Happy Dating!

P.S. from Dustin – if you’re looking for more great date ideas and easy tools that will ensure you take the time to enjoy each other, please check out the all-new Simply Sexy Date Night Package!

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT gmail.com.

(photo source)

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A 3-Minute Prayer for Busy Christians

Dustin — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:21:34 +0000

How faithful and consistent are you in your prayer life?

That can be a tough question to answer for many of us.

I know that I struggle to keep prayer in its rightful place as a daily and meaningful practice in my life.

When I do make the time to pray and have a wonderful conversation with God, it’s usually while I’m laying in bed at night at the end of a long day.

Inevitably, I end up going off on some crazy daydream tangent and/or falling asleep before my “chat” is complete.

The problem I seem to have with prayer is two-fold:

I don’t make it a high priority in my schedule
I sometimes just don’t know what to pray about – which really doesn’t make it very effective in my case

To me, prayer is one of those things that should just come naturally, but it doesn’t always happen that way. I crave some structure (I am an engineer after all), yet I want to have a very personal and real conversation with our Lord.

That means that simply saying the Our Father, while it’s wonderful, isn’t enough – I need to connect through a prayerful conversation.

The 3-Minute Prayer Anyone Can Do

I’ve been struggling with this for a while, which is why I was so excited during Mass yesterday when our new priest started talking about having these same struggles in his early years of preaching. It was clear he could relate to the busy members of our parish.

While he (rightfully) said that “If you’re too busy to pray, you’re too busy” – he also offered up a fantastic prayer that even the busiest among us can use as the center of their daily prayer life.

Here’s how it goes:

1. For the first minute, pray to God the Father and THANK HIM specifically for all the good things that you’ve experienced over the last 24 hours.

2. For the second minute, pray to God the Son (yeah, that’s Jesus) to ASK FORGIVENESS for all of your sins and wrongdoings over the last 24 hours.

3. For the last minute, pray to God the Holy Spirit to ASK FOR THE GRACE and strength you need for the particular issues you’re facing now and over the next day.

I used this approach last night (and stayed awake) and again this morning during a morning run.

To me, it’s a perfect way to focus on three different areas where I need God in my life, while also recognizing the mystery of the Holy Trinity that we believe as Catholics. Of course, you could modify the structure slightly to suit your needs and beliefs.

I hope this simple approach to prayer helps you make your relationship with God a daily encounter and enhances your marriage in the process.

If you think this approach is helpful, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the “Facebook Like” or “Retweet” buttons below or by sending it to a friend via email.

God Bless!

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A Wedding Prayer: What Special Memories Do You Hold From Your Wedding Day?

Save BIG & Simplify Your Family Life!

Dustin — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 11:55:58 +0000

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New Research Suggests Generosity Key to Fulfilling Marriage

Dustin — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 21:27:43 +0000

Note: This post by Mariana Ashley sheds some interesting light into what makes a marriage fulfilling. More importantly, it may give you something to do to make your marriage more engaged and happy. Be generous with your wife or husband!

Often, a happily married couple seems like a mystery.

How is it that Mr. and Mrs. X seem to get along so well, seem to work together to make their partnership work, and are somehow, after so many years, still deeply in love?

While there is certainly no set magic formula for a successful marriage, researchers have long tried to figure out the basic characteristics that make up the majority of healthy marriages.

The latest of this body of research suggests that, of all things, generosity plays an instrumental part in happy marital relationships.

Is Generosity Better Than Sex?

The New York Times recently reported on this research, conducted by the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project. Over 2,000 married men and women took a test to determine how generous they were to their partners.

Some of the questions asked of participants included:

“How often do you perform small acts of kindness to your partner (like making them coffee in the morning)?”
“How often do you forgive your partner for his or her mistakes and failings?”
“How often do express respect and admiration to your partner?”
“How often do express affection and love to your partner?”

The results of the survey showed that of those who scored above average on the generosity test, 50 percent reported being “very happy”, while of those who scored below average, only 14 percent reported being “very happy.”

These findings were published in the University of Virginia’s State of Our Unions report, which looks at different factors that affect marriages and families in the United States.

Great, So What Can You Do About It?

So now that we know how important a role generosity can play in having a happy marriage, more important than even communication and satisfying sex, what can we do to further implement generosity into our married lives?

For starters, it’s important to remember that true generosity means going above and beyond. That is to say, many couples have already understood duties that they carry out, but doing something extra on a daily basis—even something as small as making a cup of coffee.

Compliments and expressions of physical affection are also very important aspects of generosity. Especially when a married couple has been together for several years, these little tokens expressing love are often forgotten in the hustle and bustle of daily stress from working or raising kids.

Compliments and expressions of love work best when they are specific. For example, it’s quite normal to say “I love you” or “you look nice today,” but going above and beyond these automatic phrases by complimenting specific actions and character traits demonstrates that you care and that you pay attention.

Whenever we think of generosity, there may be an inclination to equate generosity with substantial expense. But as the University of Virginia research shows, and perhaps many of your own experiences suggest, rewarding generosity, the kind that keeps marriages happily intact, is about taking time out for the little things in life.

What have you done for your spouse lately that’s made him or her feel special and appreciated? Please share in the comments.

And if you need some ideas, be sure to check out these 74 simple things!

Mariana Ashley is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. She loves receiving reader feedback, which can be directed to mariana.ashley031 @gmail.com.

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