She puts her hands to her mouth and gasps with excitement – and surprise!

The more I hear engagement stories nowadays the more I wonder whether she was really all that shocked.

Chances are she may have picked out that shiny diamond ring herself and maybe even helped to plan the romantic night out where the question was popped.  I’ve even had friends whose girlfriend basically dictated every detail of their engagement.

And given that nearly half of couples now live together before marriage, could she really be all that surprised when the night arrives for the proposal?  After all, she may have helped pay for the ring herself.

Yet, the hopeless romantic in me has to believe that there are still couples out there doing it right!

Our Engagement Story

I don’t think I’ve ever shared the story of how I proposed to Bethany, so I’ll give the quick version here.

Keep in mind that we were high school sweethearts (gag if you must), and we’d been together for around 4 years at the time.  I believe I was 20, and she had just turned 19 so we were pretty young…and broke.

While Bethany certainly had some idea this next step in our relationship was coming, I did my best to keep it romantic and tried to surprise her.

We had visited ring stores a few times where she slyly (or not so slyly) hinted about the types of engagement rings she liked…a classic solitaire with a gold band…the bigger the better.

I bought the ring without her finding out, and I actually took out my one and only student loan to help pay for it.  I do not recommend doing the same, but I was desperate to get this ring!

Before the night came, I very nervously called up her Dad to ask his permission not just for his daughter’s hand in marriage (the easy part) but if I could take her somewhere overnight (NOT easy to ask) – I unwisely chose a time when she was back home on a college break.

I lucked out and got to talk to her Mom instead, which was a bit easier.  The stage was set.

I sent her a letter beforehand using fancy language to explain what she should wear and that she should pack a bag.  I picked her up from her parents’ house and headed to downtown St. Louis for dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town – Tony’s.

At the time, I hadn’t spent much time in the city, and I couldn’t find the restaurant!  We drove all around and finally found it, nearly losing our reservation after showing up 20 minutes late.

We enjoyed an extremely nice and super expensive meal that took much longer than I had anticipated.  I was nervous the entire meal and felt completely out of place with the tuxedo-wearing waiters that swooped in to clear every crumb and tried to help you sit down when you returned from the bathroom.  I was just a simple country boy.

The next part of the night was supposed to happen outside in a quaint river town called Elsah, Illinois where Bethany had mentioned she’d love to visit sometime for a romantic getaway when we were older.  I had reserved a room at a nice little bed and breakfast on the riverfront.

I had plans to take her to a park in town to pop the question, but with my poor planning it turned out to be pitch black dark outside when we arrived.  We walked to the park, but we actually found it eery since everyone in the town was already asleep!

I abandoned those plans and nervously returned to our room at the B&B.  I decided just to go for it, so I gave Bethany a card that shared my feelings, and at the end it asked her to turn around to make me the happiest man alive.

You guessed it, I was there on one knee with that sparkly ring.  Fortunately, she said yes and we’ve pretty much lived happily ever after.

What’s YOUR Engagement Story?

I’d love to hear your engagement story in the comments below.  Was it a planned event or did he surprise you?  Did she do the proposing?  What went right or wrong in the process?

Share your story in the comments!

Tying the knot is wonderful, but the pre-wedding preparation process can be painful, especially when it comes to planning the budget.

You can choose to have a low-budget wedding – some couples are even getting married inside McDonald’s fast food restaurants for just £250 in Europe these days.

Yes, this includes your ceremony, reception, wedding cake and catering for about 100 guests, according to the Daily Mail. However, there is no special treatment such as jumping the queue to collect your Big Mac burger and fries because McDonald’s will operate as usual. Moreover, alcohol is banned inside the family-friendly restaurant chain.

Most couples don’t have to resort to a fast food outlet and you can still have the perfect wedding with wine, gold rings, exotic food and a magical honeymoon without breaking the bank. Here are some tips for saving and planning so that you ensure you have a magical day whilst also keeping your HSBC current account in check.

The Big Day

Determine your approximate budget beforehand. Work out what you intend to spend on the venue, tuxedos for the bridegroom and yourself, dresses for your bride and bridesmaids, wedding rings, honeymoon and so on. Then think about how you can meet the expenses.

If you are someone who wants to plan ahead before your big day, map out a timeline to help you stay on target. Wedding planners told the Washington Post that planning should start immediately after the engagement.

If you do so and your wedding is several months (or years) out, you can work extra and cut out other expenses to save a large amount of money. Ensure that you maximize the interest by putting the money in a fixed deposit or a tax free ISA.

It is more likely that you stay debt-free if you are organized.  Develop a budget and make a plan – be proactive!

Don’t panic if you are leaving it until the last-minute, as there are a few alternative ways to finance your wedding. You can take a wedding loan from either of your families, relatives or friends.

Alternatively, you can use your credit card to pay for part of your wedding expenses and repay the balance and interest over time. Just be sure to think about how much you will realistically be able to pay back over time without causing a lot of marital distress about money in your first few years as Mr. and Mrs.!

Affordable Honeymoon Destinations (European Edition)

After several months of stress leading up to the wedding, you definitely need to relax and spend some romantic time with your new husband or wife.  However, this is another area to plan carefully so you don’t break the bank.

If you’re looking for clear blue waters and soft white beaches, the Indian Ocean is a perfect destination for pampering yourself and your other half. The island of Mauritius is rich in architecture and food; you can enjoy fine dining and beautiful beaches, watch the sunset and ride a horse on the beach.

For those who want to hide away from the world, the Maldives is a beautiful location to swim in the clear lagoons or play water sports.

Alternatively, Oman’s spectacular mountain scenery, deserts plus beach hotels, offer a calm and relaxing atmosphere where you can enjoy spa treatments and snorkeling along the coast. There are additionally a variety of water sports for those who are active.

If you are really struggling to finance your honeymoon, why not think about cheaper all-inclusive or package holidays somewhere closer to home, or ask your wedding guests for money towards your once-in-a-lifetime trip instead of gifts?

How do you manage your honeymoon expenses while you are away? If you have a current account with a bank and if you’re eligible, you will be issued with a visa debit card that provides instant access to your money while you’re overseas. You can use your card to pay for the hotel and food in the restaurant. You can also withdraw cash from cash machines worldwide, and linking the card to a special “honeymoon only” account will ensure you stay on track with your spending.

Of course, you probably won’t experience smooth sailing the entire way. You need to adjust your wedding budget and make allowances to account for unforeseeable expenses.

Most importantly, ensure that you don’t overspend on one day so that you have some savings left over for starting to build your new life together.

Jay Marcelo is a freelance writer who loves spending time with his new wife while traveling Europe (for cheap when possible).

Here’s My Idea & How You Can Benefit

When Engaged Marriage started way back in 2009, it was intended purely as a single-author blog that shared my personal experiences and insights on marriage and family.

Through over 300 posts, I’ve been able to share a lot and will continue to for as long as you’ll have me.

However, I think it’s time to expand the voice of the site and get some new writers “engaged” with this growing community.  As I’ll outline below, new perspectives are very welcome yet we’ll continue to provide content that supports the ideals of Engaged Marriage and what we stand for.

I think the best way to accomplish this is to hire several monthly columnists.

I want these columns to be from other bloggers who can be exposed to the Engaged Marriage audience, and hopefully receive some new traffic and community-building back to their main site.

These columns need to be insanely useful – one of the goals of Engaged Marriage content.  I love that people come here to read useful, applicable information, then work to apply it to their lives and relationships.

I need these new monthly columns to be the same.

With that in mind, I will pay each columnist $25 per column published.  Not much, I know, but it’s some extra date night cash and a reward for time spent on writing quality content.  And if you’re looking to grow your own blog, you know that the larger value here is the exposure and links back to your site/projects (included with every one of your posts).

The Topics

With the addition of new columnists, I will be able to expand the depth of some key topics on Engaged Marriage a bit and add a few. I’m in search of three to five columnists interested in one of these topics:

• Sex and Intimacy – real, practical ways to keep the spark alive and have better married sex
• Home Life/Family Fun and Crafts  – think of these posts as small how-to projects that the Pinterest crowd will love
• Parenting – real-world parenting advice
• Money and Career – one of my passions but we need more posts with a how-to and inspiring story flair
• Romance and Date Nights – practical advice/ideas for keeping the passion burning when you feel like you have no time
• Help for Troubled Marriages – this is one area where a counselor would make a wonderful addition to our team

If you’re wondering about the style of posts that work best, check out the popular posts in the sidebar – these are the all-time most viewed posts.

Interested?

Since I can obviously only hire a few writers, I’m going to have the tough job of selecting the new columnists.  If you’d like to be considered, here’s what I’ll need from you:

• A guest post of around 500-1000 words (this is just a ballpark…).  Please edit it as though it’s a final copy – proofread, aligned properly in HTML, grammatically-correct, and so on.

• At least one accompanying photo for the post.  The photo needs to be properly credited, and legal to use.

• A 1-2 sentence bio about you that links to at least one of your sites.  It can be as serious or as fun as you like.

• Let me know which column position you’re interested in.

• Let me know if you have social media following and how many followers you have – the ideal candidate will share each of their posts on social media.

Please send me your article’s text in a simple program like Text Edit or Notepad, or in Google Docs (Microsoft Word works but is not preferred).  Send me your photos as an attachment.  No need to host them, unless you want to.

And this isn’t a requirement, but feel free to link me to some of your previous writing, so that I can peruse it and see what you’re about.

Also, in case you’re wondering, you don’t have to be a therapist to qualify. If you have an interest, feel free to send something in.  You can also comment below and I’ll respond to any questions you have.

Deadline

Please send me your guest post by Sunday, May 5th by sending an email to dustin (at) engagedmarriage (dot) com with the subject line WRITING FOR EM.  If I end up not selecting you for one of the column positions, I still may be up for publishing your article as a one-time guest post.  Let’s see how it goes!

Questions?  Just ask in the comments below (or by email if it needs to remain private)!

It’s called “The Paradox of Time” and I think it speaks volumes about our culture today (at least here in the USA).

However, I think there’s a more important message for you personally in this.

Please take a moment to read these words by Dr. Bob Moorehead, and I’ll share my thoughts after:

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but we have less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families
More conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgement
More experts, but more problems
More medicines, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often
We have learnt how to make a living, but not a life.
We have added years to life, but not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.
We have conquered outer space, but not inner space.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We’ve higher incomes, but lower morals.
We’ve become long on quantity but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character;
Steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare,
More leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes.
It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this [message] to you
And a time when you can choose
Either to make a difference …. or just hit [ignore it].

If you’re like me, you probably found yourself nodding along as you read each line.  There’s no question that our society has seen major shifts in what we value and how we measure our worth.

You can’t really control that…

…so what CAN you do about it?

Well, you can make better choices in your own life and place higher value on your relationships.  You can be proactive in loving your husband or wife.  You can choose to value quality over quantity.

In short, you can get away from the idea of just getting more stuff done and instead focus on doing more of what matters in your life.

This of course is easier said than done, but you can make it happen.  And I want to help.

As you may know, I’m working hard behind the scenes right now on a new program called Time to THRIVE for Family Leaders.

I’m SO excited to see years of work coming together in a resource that not only helps busy couples find more time but leads you to use your time to enjoy more of the truly important things in life.

The first training for this course will be released in about two weeks, and I’d love to share it with you. If you think you can benefit from more time, better focus and a sense of fulfillment from how you lead your family, please click here to sign up to be notified when we go live.

Note: This is a guest post from Betsy Alvarez.

No doubt, a successful marriage requires a lot of hard work at times.

While getting married may seem simple, staying married can often be a challenge.

If you and your spouse want to spend the rest of your lives together, there are certainly things you can do to help your relationship remain healthy for many years to come.

Unfortunately, though, sometimes outside influences can cause trouble.

One outside influence that can majorly affect the health of a marriage is job-related stress.  If job-related stress is affecting your relationship, here are some things you can do to make sure your love remains strong during this trying time.

Leave Work At Work

One great way to stop job stress from affecting your home life is by leaving your work at the office.

Leaving your work at the office involves more than just not checking work email or doing work at home, though. It also involves forgetting about work as much as possible when you are spending time at home with your family.

Talk To Your Spouse

Great communication is one of the most important factors in a successful marriage.

If you are able to talk to your partner about anything, the two of you will have a healthier marriage. When work-related stress is causing friction in your marriage, make sure your spouse knows.

If you are lashing out at your significant other because of work stress, make sure he or she understands not to take it personally. Also, getting things off your chest by talking is a great way to alleviate stress.

Spend Time Together

Even if you have a job that requires 80 hours of work a week, make sure you always spend time with your spouse.

Even if it is something as simple as spending an hour a week at your favorite coffee shop, spending quality time together with your spouse can help stop work related stress from ruining your marriage.

Ask For Help

If you really want to stop job-related stress from ruining your marriage, you might need to ask for help.

From asking your boss to lessen your workload so you do not have to work so much overtime to seeking out the help of a counselor or psychiatrist, you never have to allow work-related stress to destroy your marriage.

While your job is important, your marriage is more important.

That’s why you need to find ways to help stop job stress from destroying your marriage. If you find that stress is negatively impacting your connection with your spouse, following these tips can help give you and your husband or wife a better relationship.

From spending time together to keeping the lines of communication open, there are effective ways to stop job related stress from ruining your relationship with your spouse.

I’d like to hear about your experiences with job stress – please share a comment below letting us know one tip you’ve found helpful for dealing with work-related stress in your marriage.

Betsy Alvarez writes about relationships and familial strategies – her recent work is about her journey earning an online family counseling degree.