Summer 2012 was full – May – July were traveling, moving apartments and Training Camp camping – yes I camped for 2.5 weeks with my then 7-month old! She was a champ but it was not weeks of ease… sweat, nursing on a cot, interrupted or absent nap times, very early mornings,  earwigs creeping… but it was a time of great love from others upon the lil gal. Times of worship and watching as teens began relationships and saw their flame ignited brighter for following Christ and serving His world.  July was more traveling to see family and settling back in at home in August. And again, this little piece of my world sat silent as adventures around the country consumed us.

And then came fall… and it’s one that was easy.

Not because we were so busy or had crazy travels, or visitors or too much school. It was one of sin. Secret-filled, of pain from the past, ok with the view behind my walls, of letting old dreams get the best of me, of NOT enjoying the present, but dreaming of my life’s “What if’s..”, of tripping over things behind me. And there that darn weed grew deeper and deeper within me, twisting its’ roots through every consumable space within me.

One day I was tending a friend/co-workers flowerbeds and God brought this to my attention. In that place, tall weeds, tiny weeds, weeds with pretty buds and flat thorny weeds, surrounded me. Most were miniscule ones, plucked without much effort. I got to those little buggers early, when most of their existence was in the light, tiny thin roots unable to hold to their ground against a light tug. Gone once and for all.

But some stood as tall as me, thick stalks, bright leaves, disguising themselves as flourishing plants so that one might not pluck them, that they’d be allowed to grow deeper, take over more space and corrupt the whole garden. These took all my strength, sweat to even slightly budge. They had deep roots intertwined with a secret life underground holding them strong. Twisting, chopping, prodding and digging all while in the heat of late summer and often resulting only in trimming the leaves off or being able to cut off what was above ground while those devious thick roots were left to continue their abiding in the garden.

It was here in this mulch-laden ground, where these weeds brought the vision of my own sin. I sat in the dusty ground, beads of sweat dripping from my face, hands raw from the attempts. God simply took a moment and gave me this vision of my sin. I commit sins that are mostly in the light, they don’t have a hold on me, I can easily pluck them, be reconciled. Yet, in my life, there is at least one huge weed that I’d let grow into something so much bigger than being able to pluck. It takes trimming, twisting the stock, chopping, tugging with all my strength, and yet it will continue to grow because I am tired and unable to do the heavy work alone. I can trim it so it’s barely visible to the standard observer yet underneath it continues to prod its way through what was fertile soil and healthy root systems. It deep and it takes more than myself to remove it completely.  It eats away and wears down the surrounding areas. Letting years and years go by simply watching it grow, watching the hold it has, trimming it back and watching it, often even forgetting about it… then a simple walk back into that garden and there it is. Deep as ever.

With the head-knowledge that the deep weeds of life can be removed and the space once again renewed, with hope, something new can grow from that broken land. But alone, I’m frail and torn, hurt and the weed wins.

This morning I was driving to work and turned on the local Christian radio station… I typically don’t listen to it but decided that my heart was a bit heavy and lyrics always speak into my life. So rather than my typical country music choice, “let’s forget it and move on to more fun things” lyrics, I thought I may find some encouragement. But I didn’t expect this… a new-to-me song that so strongly resonated…

 ”Worn” by Tenth Avenue North

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes

I am worn, tired and weak, not just because of what I’ve spoke of above but because of a lot of life things. I’m not all down-in-the-dumps overall but the struggle is there and the weight doesn’t let up in these certain areas of life right now. There’s decisions to be talked about, prayed about, discernment to be made, relationships to invest in, marriage to work on, there’s a lil girl who needs taught, dreams to be dreamt, and a present day to enjoy. But in the deepest, most truest parts of my being, which usually only are shared in my prayer journal – only between my Savior and me – I share. I need light. I need to be real because I’ll never write on this blog again if it’s not real, if it’s not honest and deep. If I think about each person in my life who may or may not read this and sensor it to protect myself from their comment or response, then I’m not writing for me, or for the reasons I feel I am to write. To encourage others through writing & sharing life – it’s one of the things that makes me who I am, it’s how I communicate best. And I feel it pulsing within me to share, even in the hard stuff, so I will. Even in this, I trust that redemption will win.

And honestly, life is hard right now. Decisions weigh heavily when there’s no clear direction, conversations become muddled, the desire to relax overcomes the desire to work hard, and even the sin seems too deep a weed to pull. But if there’s a glimmer of hope, if I hope in what I know to be true of my Creator and Sustainer, then I sit here crying out for maybe the deepest rescue of my lifetime. To be renewed, to see new dreams come, to see weed plucked, no matter how hard the work. To see myself shining bright in His light, doing the things I know my life is meant to be used for.

I’m posting this without any editing, I need something raw. I’m sure I’ll reread it a handful of times and think of a million ways I should have used better words, chosen to not say some, and been more creative in descriptions, but alas, I’ll leave it. It’s my journey, it my life. And the things that fill my life are worth fighting for. I won’t process it all here, but I want my corner of the web to be real, a real encouragement, it’s not all sprinkled with sugar and gumdrops! It’s rough and tough, a journey worth learning from. And this will be mine.

Still ENJOYING TODAY for all the joys that fill a day, for the smiles that shine, for the love that fills, the adventure and fun between sunrises and sunsets.  But knowing that there are things to work through, things to pull and purge, weed out and make room for anew.

Enjoi Today, 

even in the struggles

SCK

That’s right – today is the announcement of me joining the team of lovely ladies over at SO WORTH LOVING! The post is a simple intro into who I am and why I think SWL is such an important message that women (& men) across the globe, in all age ranges need to hear.

So Worth Loving is a community of people dedicated to spreading that message and helping empower people to pursue their dreams. We handcraft shirts that remind you you’re loved.

I “met” Eryn, the founder, via the blog a few months ago (which Keith actually found through Eryn’s husband as he worked on web/blog design stuff!) and when the opportunity to write periodically for SWL’s blog came up, I jumped in! I’m excited for the message and community to grow, for girls & women to see that they are worth loving simply because their life is precious! And that they are so valuable no matter what struggles or heartaches they face day-to-day.

Hop on over to So Worth Loving today to read the post!

You may learn a few new things about yours truly!

ENJOI TODAY!

SCK

Being hospitable is a part of who I am! It’s a part of the family I grew up in and a part of how we try to live now as a family. I can’t just put out chips and dip and be satisfied. I love planning and putting special effort into these things to make it great! (Tonight’s theme is wine & cheese with desserts that compliment!) I cannot tell you the freedom and weight that meal planning ahead of time has given me. I go through cookbooks, food magazines and food blogs to get ideas and put the week of dinners together, then I write it on our little weekly calendar on our fridge. And finally, I make a shopping list of what I need to make those meals. It takes time but it ends up saving me time each night and even allows me to do some prep throughout the day if I already know what the end result is going to be!

It thrills me to be able to put good meals on our table, prepare a well-thought out menu for a small group and put energy into the details of each. (This also transcends to party planning! LOVE IT!)

I’m not the best cook or baker, but I can follow a recipe and get to the desired end product. And I love good food, in fact, good food is so important to me that I recently told the hubster that I would pay up to $1000 to be able to enjoy a Doner Kebab from Germany! Good thing that’s not possible because we’d be out a lot of money for one meal!

The last Doner I had… on our honeymoon in Germany 2008.

Not everyone has these interests or even cares about good food and in the recent weeks I’ve noticed this more and more. In my day-to-day life with family and friends, those around me do care about food, whole foods and real food. But stepping out of that and I’m hit with the reality that most people are not “foodies”… it makes me sad but it’s true. Some see meals and eating as a means to just get energy and a need for our bodies. Others just simply don’t have the experience with good food or the difference that it makes in your life. I want you to care! I want you to know the difference between a GOOD dinner and one that’s just getting you by! Life is way too short to not enjoy the food you’re eating and make it worth eating!

Latte & best mixed berry muffin I’ve enjoyed – Montreal

I’m not an arguer or debate-driving person. I often find that no good comes of turning in a simple evening of hanging out into a debate on subjects that just bring division… recently I was surrounded by a few people who see food the way I do, and some that don’t… those that didn’t would have loved to get into a debate about it and I entertained it for a bit but decided that it wasn’t worth it. However, I know there are a hundred truths and studies to prove that what they were saying is not true. Even in knowing that real food makes a difference in your body, energy levels and overall enjoyment of the food – I’m not willing to argue about it. Just know that I will always fight for good food!

As my family strives to stick to real foods (non-processed, pasture raised animals, natural and organic produce) I’m continually surprised at the amount of people that have no interest in even learning why these things are important! I can tell you from personal experience that the Mr. and I not only agree on the importance of this but can taste the serious difference between REAL food and everything else – garden grown produce vs. mass-produced. We no longer buy conventional fruits & veggies – because organically grown produce is FAR superior in taste!

Some say this makes me a food snob – so be it! In fact, one of my best friends and fellow food snob is coming to visit this weekend and I’m thrilled to be able to take her to some of the tastiest joints in the cities! If you’re not a foodie, I hope you will be one day and care more about the quality and taste of what’s going into your mouth and body. Beyond the health benefits which cannot be ignored, there’s plenty to be said about tasty food! I think people settle way to often for junky/crappy food due to the way our marketed society gives in to advertisements and the next bag of chips on the end cap at the grocery store. It’s not only about eating healthy, to me it’s also about savoring and enjoying what you’re eating.

Being someone who cares about food and has the “researcher” genes, I enjoy watching many food-amentaries and reading books such as In Defense of Food by Michael Polluck. Some of the best films I’ve watched include Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead; To Market, To Market; Fresh; Food, Inc. and there are many, many more! I suggest you watch at least one of them, or find a different one that will give you some prospective on GOOD food. What it means to eat organic, why it’s important and how it impacts your body.

Recently someone I was talking with was somewhat dumbfounded that the FDA (Food & Drug Administration) allows pink slime in our beef and couldn’t believe they would let things that are not good for us into our supermarkets – I’m afraid that this is the common thinking and it’s scary. Take time to educate yourself! Take time to know what’s best to serve your family and what’s just not good for their bodies! Just because something is advertised as good for you, typically there are lots of loop holes and only percentages the companies’ have to report! Dive in and learn for yourself. Sit down with a grocery store carrot, and one plucked from an organic garden this summer – you’ll taste the difference immediately!

My mother-in-law makes fun of me (in a fun way) sometimes because I’m known for taking pictures of my food/plate before diving into the deliciousness. It’s not something she really cares about and may not really ever understand but for me – every meal is an opportunity, a learning experience, a chance to really enjoy the tastes and aromas. To relax usually with friends or family. And capturing that plate is part of my experience!

All this to say – Food Matters! It’s not always about being super healthy in my book, it’s that good food makes a difference, not only in your experience at the meal table. I urge you to grow to appreciate good food! I’m off to make a snack now! Rest assured I will ENJOY it!

Steak & Shrimp anniversary dinner (not the healthiest- but very tasty!) – Montreal

Enjoi Today

SCK

In the quiet stillness of this morning the sun illuminated every space of my kitchen, as my breakfast was sizzling on the stovetop, I reached for my God Calling book from atop the tiny shelf. Flipping through the well-worn pages, April 20th, “Life is a Love-Story” the title read. Words jumped off the page and intertwined themselves in my heart and mind. Exactly the message I needed to hear this morning as the day began. With Lil Miss in my arms, pondering the previous night’s unexpected news from a friend and earnest prayers, my spirit was lifted and my mind told the things I need to understand today.

-

“  You need Me. I need you.
My broken world needs you. Many a weary troubled heart needs you. Many a troubled heart will be gladdened by you, draw nearer to Me by you both.  

Health – Peace – Joy – Patience – Endurance, they all come from contact with Me.

Oh! it is a glorious way, the upward way, the wonderful discoveries, the tender intimacies, the amazing, almost incomprehensible, understanding. Truly the Christian life – Life with Me – is a Lovestory. Leave all to Me.

All you have missed you will find in Me, the Soul’s Lover, the Soul’s Friend, Father – Mother – Comrade – Brother. Try Me.

You cannot make too many demands upon Me -
nor put too great a strain upon My Love and Forbearance.

Claim – claim – claim – Healing – Power – Joy – Supply – what you will.  “

-

- From God Calling, A.J. Russell

(Celebrating today!) 

She now thoroughly enjoyed her Johnny Jump Up that we hang in the doorways and is getting to know her new-to-her activity center. Thankful to not only have to lay on the ground and scoot to get toys, she enjoys being up and seeing the world as she plays.

She’s well on her way to mastering the crawl… not completely there yet but that doesn’t stop her from moving all about to get where she wants to be! She’s up on her knees, nose-diving, booty in the air – working her way to places she wants to be!

We’ve begun to have family mealtimes with her in her Bumbo at the table! (She’s always sat up there with us but as of two weeks ago, she gets food too!) She has taken a liking to a few foods she explores and “eats” – carrots & green beans have been enjoyed along with red peppers pulling in as a favorite! Adding a few attempts at some pork and chicken! She’s well on her way to knowing what GOOD food is and savoring her meals. (I plan to do a post on the way we’re going about her beginning food/eating stages in the near future -

we’re not doing any purees – technically called baby-led weaning or, self-feeding… it’s more in line with how babies develop naturally than spoon-feeding! Like I said, another post regarding that is in the works for next week!)

We are so proud of her and thankful beyond what words can express for her being a part of our lives and God allowing us to raise a precious child of His. I am in pure amazement most days at how much she has learned and accomplished in her short 6 months… and so excited I get to observe and take part in how God shapes her life in the future.

I’ve already seen God use her to bring about smiles, laughter and joy in others’ lives. She is nothing but content, happy, a silly one and will gladly pass along a smile to brighten anyone’s day. There is no stranger in her eyes and she definitely has my curiosity of things – which I cannot thank God enough for! I love watching her discover and figure things out. I hope she’s always willing to discover, seek and find, enjoy new experiences and learn from what is around her. I want her to know she is free to explore the world as her playground, that she will discover other cultures and love on people in places far from her comfort zone!

-

(Papa was her playground last week!) 

In her 6 months of life she’s been to Wisconsin, New Jersey, New York (& NYC), Illinois (Chicago), Indiana, Pennsylvania, Texas, Mexico… I’d say she’s off to a pretty good start on the traveling thing! She’s a trooper! (My Dad used to tell me that when we were traveling and touring the umpteenth cathedral during our years in Europe!)

We’re celebrating her 1/2 year today and so thankful for what she’s brought to our family!

Enjoy today!

SCK

Why so much joy you ask?! You see, today marks a very special anniversary of two dear, dear friends in my life AND those friends just happened to have their first baby boy THIS MORNING!!!! Combine that with the fact that it was one of their birthdays earlier this week and we have a Celebration TRI-FECTA!

These two people, Crystalina & Jesus, bring so much into my life – joy, laughter, faith, growth, love, with a whole lotta e.t.c.! We’ve spent much time together and celebrated just about every event you can think of in each others’ presence. Affectionately, we call one another brothers and sisters. These two truly are that in my life.

In 2007, soon after I moved to NJ upon college graduation, I met Crystalina at the coffee lounge I was working at that my brother-in-law managed. It was an instant hit-off with us and our friendship has grown from those days on. We’ve not only spent time together, we’ve mentored teens together, had long talks over coffee, discussed and struggled with life decisions together, traveled and established a deep life-long friendship!  I met Jesus practically the same way – through my brother-in-law – he’s from Costa Rica and became closer than family in a matter of months. By the way – Costa Rica – what a beautiful country – if given the opportunity, I’d move there in a heartbeat!)

Last year, I got a call from Crystalina while she was down in CR visiting her (then) fiancé! They were thinking about getting married within a few days instead of the bigger wedding they’d been planning for later in the fall. I was so on-board for many reasons and in an instant knew I just had to figure out how to be in CR for the big event! Given about 48 hours until the ceremony, I hit the internet in search of tickets, ok’d it with Keith and called my Dad. Since I knew their wedding was happening quick, not many others from the US were going to be able to attend, which made it all the more important to conquer this feat and be there to celebrate their marriage as they said their vows.

Two frantic days later, I was packed, had a cell phone that would work in CR (try explaining that situation to the AT&T rep!), was packed and…. did NOT have a ticket! That’s right, it was now Saturday morning and I was waiting for the last minute ticket price to lower once more before confirming my flight that afternoon! Keith and I headed to the food market we volunteer at and he was on his iPhone every five minutes checking. With my bags in the car, I was ready to go straight to the airport! An hour and a half into our 3 hour shift, I told our team leader that we had to go – that I was actually going to Costa Rica and we had just bought the ticket on the iPhone! Needless to say, there was a lot of fast-paced explaining before we hit the highway to get me to my flight which was boarding in 2.5 hours!

That day, I was full of joy – not only was I getting to go back to Costa Rica (where I’d been the past two years in April as well), but I was going to be participating and witnessing two of my closest friends say, I do! Armed with a boarding pass, cell phone and camera, I was off! I arrived in CR that night and stayed with some missionary friends we know there. The next day began a whirl wind of wedding planning if I’ve ever seen it!

Due to the surprise of deciding to get married within three days – Crystalina was off to find a dress and I joined in the decorating committee, became the driver for the groom, and the event photographer! We had so much fun and there is not another couple I would want to go through that expedited process with! From grabbing flowers on our way to Jesus’ hometown from the airport, to stopping by the local hardware store to have a 12 ft plastic pipe weaved through our car, to finding a wedding night cabin for them which & having to call the fireman to come exterminate a swarm of bees in the area, to being asked within 10 minutes of the wedding if I’d walk her down the aisle! Much fun, stress and laughter was had to say the least!

As I think back, that trip was fantastic, and it also came at a time where I needed a revamp and a time away from MN in the most serious way. Things were rough around here last spring as we settled into life in MN and a trip away, to reconnect with a place I so long for almost every week, was just what the Almighty Doctor ordered!

So, a year ago today, I witnessed their marriage and was able to support them in a unique way being in Costa Rica…. and yesterday, I was sending text messages back and forth with Crystalina as she experienced the ups and downs of labor as she prepared to give birth to their son, Micah! What a year!!

This morning, at 8am,
Micah Mauricio Solano
was born!

Making Crystalina and Jesus parents on their first wedding anniversary! A long and hard night for both, yet such a joyous occasion for so many as we all welcome this little boy to the world and our hearts.

I am so freakin’ proud of these two, the trials and challenges they have face and continue to face seem like immoveable mountains often, but they cling to their God and trust in His unfailing plans for the fullest life He has for them. They constantly encourage one another, seeking out the best in each other so that not only in their marriage but in their friendships and family life they are working to be who God has made them to the utmost! And now, happily entering parenthood and so looking forward the adventure that will bring to their family!

There is much to celebrate today! There is much to be thankful for – their love & marriage, their healthy baby boy and our friendship with one another! Shortly after waking up this morning, we were able to Skype with Jesus and to hear the excitement through the tiredness of his voice was amazing. If only I could give each of them a giant bear hug!

I am thankful for the peace God brought through the labor and delivery, for the joy of new parents and the miracle of life that God allows us to experience as mama’s and papa’s. I’m thankful for friendships that go beyond talks – that are real and that we know we each would do anything in the world to be able to support and show love to one another. From airport pick-ups, to traveling for weddings and text message galore… this is what life-long friendship are for!

Seeing as this much has happened in a year – a year and a week ago, they didn’t even know they would be married within 7 days – I am wait in anxious anticipation over what God will bring them through and the adventure that is to be had throughout the next year as they welcome Micah into their lives and arms!

Crys & Jesus – SO proud of you guys! May God bless you today as you celebrate the life that has been added to your family! And may rest from the past few long days be found for each of you! Micah is such a precious boy and a joy in my life already! (PS – we did tell Brooklyn that her husband was born today! And Keith followed that up with the fact that he’s Costa Rican so they’d have cute kids one day! Never too early to start arranged marriages! ha) We’ll take you to POPS to celebrate when we all are in CR together SOON!

Enjoy today! 

SCK

Sunday night, the hubby and I watched an episode of the current show we’re devouring on Netflix. Usually it’s a casual, fun-plotted show about the inner workings of an alternative medicine office. But last night, while some undertones of the story line left us giggling, the main plot left me near tears. (And that does not happen often my friends!) This episode featured something they called “Safe Surrender” about the law that allows new mothers to drop off their babies at a hospital or police/fire station within 48 hours of the birth and no questions are asked. The office was diving into being a hotline for the service and faced two calls during the 42 minutes of the show. What struck me wasn’t the fact of this service, it was a line that came while the Dr. was taking care of the first baby girl before calling social services.

When asked by another co-worker if she wanted them to make the call that night, the Dr., holding the wee lil’ one close to her chest and gently swaying her, said,

“No, no… she deserves to feel wanted for at least one day.”

Wow.

Of course. The tears held themselves back, but my lip pouted out and the deepest part of me whimpered with a gut-wrenching sadness. A part of social services and caring for orphans that I’ve never thought about in those terms. Yes – this little child who was born into the world deserves to know and feel wanted. She deserves to know that her situation is not her fault. To know that love does exist and she wasn’t made to just be thrown into a make-shift system of care and sometimes false love. And to not have to wonder what her value is or feel unwanted.

I’ve shared before about how mama hood has changed the core of who I am and how I look at the littlest ones of our world. Last night, that core was shook again as I watched this lady care for this baby (whom she affectionately named Batgirl) for 24 hours. Knowing what was coming for this baby girl in “the system” – she wanted this baby to experience all the love and care she could for the time she had her. As mama’s, we spend our days doing this and wanting things to be perfect. But how often do we only do this with children. How often do we pass older folks who look desperate for love and to know they are wanted. Same condition, same remedy.

Watching the show, while the episode played on, my mind was stuck on that one line like superglue between your fingers. There was no avoiding it, no changing my thoughts to something fun. I went to bed with that line repeating over and over in my head like a broken record. How (even though I know it was fiction) I wanted to scoop up that baby and do the same that the Dr. did – show her affection, care for her needs. Mr. and I have talked about adoption being in our future, but last night I wanted to just run out and take in any babes who needed someone to show them they are wanted!

It brought all the emotions again from when Lil’ Miss was first born and had me scrolling through pictures remembering how tiny and dependent she was on some else to help introduce her to this bright new world out of her comfort zone she’d known for 9 months! Oh how many babes are there who are in desperate need of knowing the truths of love, care, hugs, affection, attention and want. I’m praying for those lil’ ones this morning. That adoptions may go smooth and quickly, that the ones being born today may find peace and unconditional love no matter what the situation is. That social workers would be able to know what is best in these situations. But also that people around me, whom are not babies or tots, would also feel that from me. Through a smile, a hug, a generous gift, or sharing a coffee. And that someday, I may get the chance to provide that loving home for a wee one in need.

“…she deserves to feel wanted…”

-

Enjoi Today

SCK

Two years ago, I was finally able to visit the memorial at VT built in honor of those whose lives were tragically ended that day. A feeling I cannot describe comes over me when I look at these – remembering the day, wondering if those I knew were safe, wanting to be in at VT as they absorbed the shock. 

Many at the time didn’t understand why this event struck me so hard… I remember vividly sitting on a bench inside one of our buildings at Northwestern after class, bawling on the phone with my Mom asking her the same. Why was this striking every emotion in me? Why did I have such a draw to do something for VT? What made me want to be such a part of their pain? 

My eyes were glued to the TV that week, scoring the internet for any news stories I could read, talking with a good friend who was a Jr. there at the time. Planning how to engage my peers in supporting VT. I did what I could and instituted a Hokie day at NWC here in MN. Students, faculty and staff gathered after chapel to pray, we wore orange and maroon along with ribbons in remembrance. I created a sheet for each person leaving chapel that morning to have a list of the 32 people and a few facts about each so they could pray specifically for their family and friends. 

-

We were all Hokies that day. 

“I ask each of you to take the time to be a Hokie this week. Appreciate life a little more, take in every moment around you, count your blessings, tell the people around you that you love them, slow down, remember what’s truly important in life. And live for those 32 that do not have that chance.”

Remember today

SCK

My eyes are heavy this morning as the little girl was up way too early for my liking. She was quite content on happily screeching her way through the 5 o’clock hour while twisting and turning her tiny body all over, causing me to think that something like “I got the moves like Jagger…” was flitting around her little mind.

(Yesterday’s wiggle fest!)

Today is my morning in the office without Lil’ Miss and it’s a day that allows me to feel super professional – as much as one can in an uber casual office! I donned my black blazer, made a Chai latte to go and headed out the door. As women, you know there’s outfits, accessories and even office supplies that make you feel more professional that allows your mind to proclaim,

“I am going to do something GREAT today!”

What is that outfit for you?! I’m curious to see – if you have Pinterest, go find an outfit and then add my name in the comment section so I can see it! How fun!

Beyond the outfit and outer things we add to help ourselves accomplish great things, our personalities and gifts are of the utmost importance too. Know what you’re good at, how that works with others you’re around and where you want your passions to lead you! I’m only in my mid-twenties but as a girl who grew up wanting to do EV.ERY.THI.NG, it’s taken me a while to figure out what I’m good at, how I’ve been made to create in my life and why that’s special. I’ve talked about it before but your passions, those things that drive you each day, are necessary to your daily life and your feeling valued!

This week I had the opportunity to have what I thought might be a hard conversation at work. I’d found myself the past two months falling into some roles I didn’t solely want. Being able to sit down and talk about how I am capable of doing those things, but they don’t drive me to develop who I am was a welcomed relief and in the end we realized that as a department we were on the same page but just had let other projects over-shadow the personal development that I crave.

One of my deepest desires for others is to discover what makes their hearts beat… what makes you strive to be great. What is it that you crave to do above all other things – or a combination of things that make you feel invincible. Sure, you’re capable of doing lots of things, but there are a few of those specific projects, hobbies, things that you find yourself soaring when participating.

For me, in the work realm, that’s communication plans, developing others, accomplishing tasks. It’s look ahead to project and plan something to be executed with an end goal. It’s planning the details of an event. Mentoring someone younger or newer to the field. Researching. When I’m doing those things, I’m motivated to do them the best I can and even dream of the next steps… when I’m simply doing tasks I’m capable of, the desire to do more with it is distant. A healthy combination of both is usually needed but today was one of those days I dressed to soar, to plan, to dream with a co-worker for the sake of making our jobs and our organization better.

What made you feel accomplished today?

Doesn’t need to be a major job or life-altering thing, crossing any item off a to-do list is worthy!

If you don’t have regular conversations with your co-workers, boss or even spouse about how you’re using what you’re passionate about and enjoy doing – you need to! Even if it’s uncomfortable or you think it won’t be appreciated or change your situation – DO IT! (Or at least leave a comment or email me with those things – just to talk about them can be a huge motivator!) Each of those things that inspire and speak to who you are, are key in your life, don’t ignore them!

ENJOI TODAY
and
do the things that bring a sparkle to your heart and mind at work and at home! 

SCK

Why was this so profound? I knew the timing off the loud claps, I know the story and have even seen those clips before… but this year was different. I’m thankful for that! This year as I continued through the service watching the journey of Christ unfold, for the first time it struck me as I reached out for my Mr’s hand, I was scared.

Jesus was (probably) scared. 

As the sacrificial scene is retold each year, I’ve never thought about Jesus being scared. Sure, everything he went through from the arrest to the cross was horrifying and painful, but I’ve never looked at it that way. It’s also been “he knew what was coming, he knew why he was being sacrificed, he was God’s Son, so he must have had the ultimate bravery and courage…” But sitting in that dark room on Friday night, watching the story in visual elements from The Passion film, I saw a different emotion in the actor’s eyes. I saw not only sorrow but as Jesus was human on Earth, he felt the emotions we feel and in those moments, he must have been scared. Yet the only hand that was there for him to hold on to was His Father’s, and that wasn’t available physically.

This thought occurred to me and brought with it a hundred more. How often in scary times, do we reach out for other people and need comfort from those physically around us? How often do I just bury my head and curl up in a ball because I’m scared. I suppose Jesus could have done those things, though even those closest to him betrayed him that day. Just because he had faith and stuck through the worst pain anyone could know doesn’t mean he didn’t face the emotions we would feel if that was us.

Throughout the weekend, this thought kept coming back into my head and even though I know my mind cannot comprehend how things really are as God does, or how Jesus really felt that day – I can reconcile what I know and what I feel in situations to parts of what I believe Jesus would have felt. And for that, I’m grateful, to see another glimpse into the sacrifice of the cross. A new take, as if looking at a diamond in all it’s various cuts that make it shine the brightest.

One thing I miss most this time of year is being in Costa Rica. The past three years I have traveled down there for missions trips and then a wedding last year. During the missions trips, we were there over Easter and were able to see the Procession. “Semana Santa” (Easter week) is the biggest holiday week in CR. Many business are closed the entire week and the country virtually shuts down Holy Thursday through Easter Sunday. The entire town participates in this ceremony as they play out the story of Easter each day. From the Palm Sunday entrance, the arrest, to the walk to the cross and burial  - real people are selected to play each part of the story. A man, with a real wood cross, marches up a hill. Crowds of people follow. That same man, is hung on the cross (ropes and a platform to stand on). Seeing this played out in person brings a whole new perspective to Easter. I realize that many who participate in that tradition do so out of religious obligation and tradition but nonetheless it’s portrayed in such a way that grabs me. I longed to see it this year. I longed to be a part of a community who takes time to reflect more than one hour in a sanctuary.

(via)

Easter at Upper Room is a wonderful celebration. A jubilee of gladness for the cross and the risen Savior. Oh to be in a church that celebrates the truth that is wrapped in Easter instead of the holiday itself. Who isn’t afraid to dance and sing and incorporate the children into the occasion. Upper Room fills my heart and I am beyond thankful that we are participates in this community rather than pew-warmers in another.

Of course, we did dye eggs and enjoy an Easter feast with my sister’s family. We enjoyed watching my 5 yr old nephew hunt for eggs and played together. But a real, deep, true reason we celebrate this season is because of Christ! To see a new perspective or even glean a tidbit more knowledge of what the cross was fills me.

My hope is that your Easter was full of truth. Along with some fun times with family and friends!

As Easter has now passed, do not forget why we celebrate it. Why we can be reflective yet joyful in the cross.

Enjoi Today!

SCK