BEGINNINGS ARE OFTEN GOOD, BUT ENDINGS ARE SOMETIMES BETTER. Especially when “small beginnings” turn out to have a “mighty end,” we should be grateful. Finality shouldn’t be something that we shy away from. It’s a better idea than many people think.

We need to be people who appreciate the value and importance of finality. Yes, there is an excitement about new undertakings, and no, we don’t want to rest on our past achievements. But let’s not be afraid of the old saying that “all good things must come to an end.” Most good things are begun for the very purpose of reaching some end. If the end is honorable, should we be sad about reaching it?

There is a sense in which finality is a virtue, and our character and our conduct need to be characterized by that virtue. When our friends think of us, for example, they need to be able to think of finished things, not things begun and hastily abandoned. They need to know that we’re well acquainted with the concept of closure.

Similarly, our agreements and commitments need to have a certain finality about them. No matter how great our potential may be, indecisiveness can diminish, if not destroy, the service that we have the opportunity to render. Our friends need to know what they can expect from us. They need to know that we can be counted on.

Each of our lives is moving toward an ultimate finality: death. Any evaluation or verdict that might be passed upon our work right now would only be an interim report; it’s only when “finality” has been reached that the true tale can be told about any of us. So it’s wonderful if we started out with great advantages, and it’s delightful if we’re enjoying great blessings in the present. But what matters most is whether we FOLLOW THROUGH and COMPLETE THE WORK that is ours to do in the time that’s allotted to us. If the final chapter of our personal history is disappointing, the rest of it will be seriously lacking in value.

“Every advantage in the past is judged in the light of the final issue” (Demosthenes).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

TEAMWORK IS THE RESULT OF PEOPLE DOING THINGS THAT COMPLEMENT, OR COMPLETE, ONE ANOTHER’S WORK. It doesn’t matter whether a group is formally organized and called a “team” or not; the identifying characteristic is still the same: PEOPLE DO THINGS, EACH HELPING THE OTHER, THAT ACCOMPLISH A COMMON GOAL. Joni Eareckson Tada’s analogy of the parts of a human body working together to get a hamburger is apt. Something similar to that always takes place when individuals pool their talents and function as a team.

TEAMWORK REQUIRES MATURITY. We won’t function well on a team if we haven’t grown up enough to get past selfishness and “itsy-bitsy thinking.” If our skill set contains only two responses to frustration, fight or flight, then we probably aren’t mature enough for teamwork.

TEAMWORK IS DIFFICULT. The benefits of teamwork are amazing, but they aren’t free. There is a price to be paid. We have to determine that we’ll learn how to cooperate and work through difficulties and challenges to the team. Patience and perseverance are absolutely essential.

TEAMWORK REQUIRES HUMILITY. Teamwork isn’t for prima donnas or peacocks. It’s for people who have enough humility to contribute to a worthy endeavor in whatever way they can, whether they’re in the spotlight or not. Teamworkers are CONTENT FOR THE TEAM TO GET THE CREDIT.

In moments of success, we dare not forget that what has been accomplished has been, almost always, the result of collaboration. Rarely do we bring any project to completion without the help of some kind of team, whether large or small, and acknowledging that fact ought to be something we’re eager to do. Teamwork happens to be a GOOD thing. It’s a PRIVILEGE to be part of something bigger than our solitary selves.

“Success is a ruthless competitor for it flatters and nourishes our weaknesses and lulls us into complacency. We bask in the sunshine of accomplishment and lose the spirit of humility which helps us visualize all the factors which have contributed to our success. We are apt to forget that we are only one of a team, that in unity there is strength and that we are strong only as long as each unit in our organization functions with precision” (Samuel Jones Tilden).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

WE’RE NOT FULLY HUMAN IF WE DON’T RECOGNIZE OUR CONNECTION TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS. There is a sense in which the human race can be thought of as a FAMILY, and family members have important reasons to treat one another unselfishly and with benevolence. For one thing, family members are attached to one another in such a way that whatever one does affects all the others. In the human family, we need to recognize that each of our own actions has some impact on our siblings. If nothing else, we have to share the same living space, the same habitat. To misuse the world which is our home or to take too much out of it, just for our own indulgence, is to be shamefully selfish. To fail to help the helpless is to withhold good things from the family of which we ourselves are a part. Connected as we are, how can we NOT be concerned about one another?

“Altruism” means selflessness. It’s an active concern for the welfare of others. When we choose to be altruistic, we’re making a choice to be humane and helpful. “A man of humanity is one who, in seeking to establish himself, finds a foothold for others and who, desiring attainment for himself, helps others to attain” (Confucius).

There is a danger, however, in saying that we “love humanity.” That kind of sentiment can be so vague and general that, for all practical purposes, it’s useless. Dostoevsky said, “In abstract love of humanity one almost always only loves oneself.” We’d do better to love HUMAN BEINGS — real ones, like those who live in the house next door or work in the office down the hall — rather than “humanity.”

If we’re not as altruistic as we should be, we need to start growing in that virtue. Yet there’s no denying that it’s hard. It demands a great deal of us. Just because we don’t think we’re doing any HARM to anybody, that doesn’t mean we’re doing the GOOD that we should do. In the words of Roy Masters, “Loving what is right is different from hating what is wrong and feeling right about it.” And frankly, the more affluent we are, the more we need to be warned: altruism isn’t a philosophy — it’s a lifestyle that results in the positive blessing of other people.

“To hoard is worse than to steal” (Jewish Proverb).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

EVERY TIME WE’RE FACED WITH THE NEED TO MAKE A “CONFESSION,” WE FIND OUT TWO THINGS: HOW MUCH WE VALUE TRUTH AND HOW MUCH COURAGE WE HAVE. When we’ve done a wrong deed or made a mistake, a confession is simply an acknowledgement that the error is ours and that we take full responsibility for it. If the TRUTH is that we made the mistake, a decision not to confess the error is a decision to give untruth a higher priority than truth. So in deciding whether to confess, we find out how much we value truth. But even if we’ve decided to tell the truth, it still takes COURAGE to do that. So our courage is tested as well as our commitment to truth.

Some confessions take more courage than others, of course. Certain mistakes might be considered so understandable that we would almost gain a greater standing in other people’s eyes by confessing them. Other things we might do, however, as Rousseau suggests, would be viewed as being so “ridiculous and foolish” that other people’s estimate of our character would be adjusted downward in ways that we would find very painful. Confessions that get us sympathy are comparatively easy to make; it’s the ones that get us well-deserved shame that take both courage and a commitment to truth.

As long as we’re engaged in the business of living, we’re going to have to make confessions from time to time. As Daniel Webster remarked, “There is no refuge from confession but suicide; and even suicide is a confession.” Once done, a deed can never be undone, obviously, but the honest confession of our faults restores to us a virtue and an integrity that are THE ONLY HONORABLE SUBSTITUTES FOR INNOCENCE. Having done wrong, we can at least do what’s right about our wrong!

Most of us would say that we prefer reality to illusion or deception. Yet by covering up or excusing our mistakes, aren’t we saying that we prefer others to have a favorable impression of us, even if it’s inaccurate, rather than an unfavorable impression that’s based on truth? Wouldn’t it be better to come clean and take a stand for reality?

“For him who confesses, shams are over and realities have begun” (William James).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

TO BE “ILLUMINATED” MEANS TO BE “ENLIGHTENED.” In our language, light is very often used as a metaphor for knowledge or understanding; so when we speak of “illumination,” we are saying that someone has “seen the light.” A previously unrecognized truth has “dawned” on them. What was dark is now “as clear as day.”

Illumination is a more important thing than we sometimes give it credit for being. If our CHARACTER accumulates from our CONDUCT, and our conduct grows out of our thinking, then it’s a matter of great importance whether our THINKING is accurate or not. If we’re “in the dark,” we may imagine that we “see” some things that are not actually there. Even a little “enlightenment” can help us to see what is really there and what is not — and once we accurately judge the nature of the reality we’re dealing with, our actions can be appropriate to that reality.

But as important as it is for our minds to receive illumination, most of us find that gaining greater light on significant subjects is a gradual, and sometimes painstaking, process. On very rare occasions, we may get some tremendous flash of insight that opens up entire vistas of understanding all at once. But more often, our understanding grows slowly. Most of us get a more accurate view of reality, as Anais Nin suggests, “fragment by fragment, on a small scale.” The process is well worth it, however, even when it seems unbearably slow.

Whether big or small, those moments of illumination — someone has called them “A-ha!” experiences — are delightful when they occur. They happen to be some of life’s happiest turning points. It isn’t really possible to PLAN when these moments are going to take place, but we can certainly make a difference by being OPEN to illumination. If we have an honestly receptive mindset, life’s experiences will prepare us for moments of understanding, when the time is right. As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

What in me is dark
Illumine, what is low raise and support.
(John Milton).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

PEOPLE WITH HIGH-QUALITY LIVES TEND TO BE THOSE WHO (A) ASK GOOD QUESTIONS, AND THEN (B) WORK HARD TO FIND THE ANSWERS. Inquiry is a conspicuous habit of almost all successful people. There is really no substitute for it. Either we “inquire” or we “expire” without having learned what we needed to know.

CAREFULNESS IN OUR INQUIRIES. It’s not enough to ask questions; we need to ask GOOD questions. Contrary to what the “enquiring” tabloids seem to think, some questions are a waste of time. Just as there is junk food, there is also such a thing as junk knowledge. And not only that, BUT SOME THINGS ARE SIMPLY NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. So we need to be careful in deciding what the things are that we’d like to inquire about.

DILIGENCE IN OUR INQUIRIES. Assuming that our questions are worth seeking an answer to, we also need to understand that hard work and persistence may be required of us. Accurate answers to our questions are not always easily found or quickly understood. So if there’s something worth knowing and we say that we want to know it, we need to be willing to pay the price. Inquiries take time and energy.

Charles Sanders Peirce said, “Do not block the way of inquiry.” If we don’t watch out, we may find ourselves doing that, either for ourselves or for others. There is something a little frightening about new knowledge, and we’re often tempted to resist inquiries that may lead in disturbing directions. But truth, even uncomfortable truth, is always preferable to untruth. We have every reason to be courageous.

A healthy measure of old-fashioned “inquisitiveness” can add immense value to our lives. Curiosity may have killed the cat, and, as we’ve suggested, there are things we ought to have the good sense not to inquire into. But even so, we shouldn’t fail to recognize the good that can come from good inquiries. There are vast treasuries of knowledge waiting to open their doors to us. All we have to do is . . . ask!

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
(Rudyard Kipling)

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

LIGHTHEARTEDNESS AND LAUGHTER ARE PRETTY GOOD SIGNS THAT THERE’S SOME LIFE IN US. Our exteriors may be buttoned-up and businesslike, but a little humor cracks the facade and lets it be known that there’s a little impish vitality in there after all.

“Humor is the sunshine of the mind” (Edward Bulwer-Lytton). In the physical world, of course, sunshine is not the only kind of weather that we need, but isn’t it wonderful when we happen to have the benefit of it? Similarly, in the emotional world, we take a special delight in the “sunshine of the mind.” Isn’t it pleasing when humor breaks through the clouds of a “rainy” set of circumstances? Isn’t it agreeable when something funny is said, when something hilarious happens, or when something comical catches us by surprise?

It would be hard to overestimate the value of the gift that we give when we show others “a gleam of humor.” For most people, life can be a bit difficult, and without a dash of funniness once in a while, it can be almost impossible. So it doesn’t matter who the folks are who have to deal with us regularly; they would enjoy, if not some laughter, at least a little pleasantness coming from our side of the relationship.

It might be a mistake, however, to suddenly decide that we’re going to start being “humorous.” If that hasn’t been our habit in the past, it might be more beneficial simply to start being more OBSERVANT of the things that happen around us that are comical. Genuine humor can rarely be planned or programmed. As Erma Bombeck said, “Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, it’s unplanned, it’s full of surprises.”

Ordinary life contains all the humorous “sunshine” that any of us needs, if only we have eyes and ears to receive it. Indeed, professional humorists get their best material by just watching and listening as the “mad, mad, mad, mad world” goes by. And I’m guessing, if something funny didn’t happen to you today, you just weren’t paying attention.

“There is one word in America that says it all, and that one word is, ‘You never know’” (Joaquin Andujar).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

WITHOUT A SUFFICIENTLY STURDY WILL, WE CAN’T BE EFFECTIVE IN ANY WORTHWHILE ENDEAVOR. If our intellect and our emotions are the “legislative” parts of our minds, then our will is the “executive” part. It executes our decisions. It carries out the dictates of our conscience. It even brings into being the creations of our imagination. And if, for some reason, our will is lazy or not strong enough to do these things, then all the finest thinking, discerning, and desiring that we might do would amount to very little in the end.

We often speak of our will as being “free,” and there are some important senses in which that is true. In a strict sense, however, our will is not absolutely free. It is always attached to an object or purpose that is determined by the other parts of our minds. As Joyce Cary put it, our will “is simply the engine in the car — it can’t drive.” Or to go back to our government analogy, the will doesn’t make the laws; it just carries out the instructions that have been given to it. It should be obvious, then, that we need to be careful what instructions we give to our wills. If our thinking is carefully maintained, then our wills can serve us well. Otherwise, great damage is likely to be done.

Most of us know that the will doesn’t always come through for us. Yes, it can be very strong when the choice is “what I want vs. what you want,” but it can be amazingly weak when the choice is “what I ought to do vs. what I want to do.” When my alarm goes off at five in the morning, and it’s time to get up and write, I wonder where the strong will is that showed up so quickly when I “discussed” matters with the idiot who cut ahead of me in the long line at the bank.

The fact is, if we don’t deliberately TRAIN our wills, they won’t be helpful. If undisciplined, our wills will be too strong in some areas and too weak in others. So training and conditioning our wills to HELP us is one of the most important parts of becoming mature, and Anatole France was certainly right when he wrote, “An education that does not cultivate the will is an education that depraves the mind.”

“The will to do, the soul to dare” (Sir Walter Scott).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

IT IS TOO BAD THAT “FANTASY” IS SO OFTEN USED AS A DEROGATORY TERM. As a category of literature, it is looked down upon and considered unworthy of the effort of any truly gifted writer. And as an intellectual activity, it is almost laughed at, as if those who enjoy fantasy (whether of someone else’s making or of their own) are somehow suffering from a case of arrested development. Yet fantasy is not only a legitimate intellectual and artistic endeavor, the ability to enjoy it is one of our most delightful human endowments. It’s one of the channels through which JOY comes to us: joy in the high, pure, otherworldly sense. Those who’ve never had their hearts pierced by the sharp, sweet joy of the “perilous realm,” have missed one of life’s most ennobling pleasures, and one of its most refreshing experiences.

Eudora Welty made a helpful observation about fantasy when she said, “Fantasy is no good unless the seed it springs from is a truth, a truth about human beings.” Those who say they prefer stories that are “true,” need to understand that the power of fantasy comes from nothing less than its truth. For all its strangeness and wonder, the genuinely fantastic rings true — EXACTLY true — to what we know is in our hearts, both the good and the bad. But it does not stop at the truth of what IS; it beckons us to believe in bright truths of what CAN BE. It suggests that what we experience in the mundane world is not all that will ever be, and it’s not all there is to reality even now!

Of the many gifts that have been given to us, fantasy is one of the greatest. That it’s not always used well or wisely is obvious, but that is no more than can be said about any of our other powers. Rather than relegate fantasy to the nursery, we would do better to honor it as adults and school ourselves in the wisdom of its joy. Like education, fantasy is much too good to limit to the young!

“I now enjoy the fairy tales better than I did in childhood: being now able to put more in, of course, I get more out” (C. S. Lewis).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com

INTERDEPENDENCE IS A HIGHER VALUE THAN INDEPENDENCE. If we can’t see that, perhaps we’ve been confused more than we realize by the various misconceptions of independence that are so much in vogue today. Yet misguided independence can hinder us every bit as much as the unhealthy dependence which we’re so eager to avoid.

Interdependence is a cooperative relationship in which individuals yield some of their independence to others in a relationship for the purpose of achieving a mutual goal or realizing a shared vision. It involves trust, commitments, and collaboration, and it’s based on the understanding that the great challenges of life call for a bit of “together” work now and then. Interdependence produces what has been called “synergy,” an effect produced by the joint action of two or more people which each would be incapable of producing individually. One person brings to the work certain qualities or abilities, others are supplied by another person, etc. — and in the end, a result is reached that marvelously multiplies what any of the parties could have created alone. So interdependence goes beyond independence. To the COURAGE of independence, interdependence adds this element: the HUMILITY to recognize when we can do more together than we can do separately.

Interdependence, as many have noted, is a choice that only independent people can make. It requires a strength of character not possessed by those who’re still bogged down in blaming and evasion of responsibility. So if we’ve outgrown DEPENDENCE and come to see the value of INDEPENDENCE, that’s good. But it’s even better if we’ve come to appreciate the synergistic power of INTERDEPENDENCE. Indeed, one of the major measures of our personal maturity is the extent to which we’ve learned to live and work interdependently. If we’re not there yet, we should at least make sure that we’re growing in that direction!

“On the maturity continuum, DEPENDENCE is the paradigm of YOU — YOU take care of me; YOU come through for me; YOU didn’t come through; I blame YOU for the results . . . INDEPENDENCE is the paradigm of I — I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose . . . INTERDEPENDENCE is the paradigm of WE — WE can do it; WE can cooperate; WE can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together” (Stephen R. Covey).

Gary Henry – WordPoints.com