Epipheries and Anecdotes

A Psalm of Thanksgiving

2010-08-16T23:40:00.001-05:00

Praise The LORD, O my soul, for His greatness and kindness demands love returned! For The LORD has brought me from the depths of my sin; He has taken me upon his wings. I cried for help when surrounded by darkness and despair; I said “LORD, where are you?” The people of earth came at me with temptations of flesh and lust like wolves to a wounded lamb! But the LORD removed them from my sight and placed me in His arms; I am found in a sanctuary of grace. I will thank The LORD for what He has done for me! Praise The LORD, for He is gracious; He is bigger than any foe. Praise God!

Attention: I have a problem.

2010-04-08T14:35:00.003-05:00

Upon reading Gizmodo's liveblog concerning today's announcement of iPhone OS 4.0, I now hold mixed feelings for Apple as a company. I admit fully to loving my iPhone as a product. However, the culture that is surrounding Apple and its users is growing to the adult form of an angry mob of condescending think-they-know-it-all's.

There are three main issues that I have with Jobs' statements.

1. When questioned about java and/or flash support on the 4.0 OS support, the rep passed off the question as inquiry of something silly and unimportant. This shows that Apple, while apparently very good at the 'big picture' side of things, doesn't really hear or care for the cries of the internet.

2. Jobs basically calls the users idiots. Or at least, this is what will be understood by any self-respecting technologically tech savvy user. (I'd like to also point out that the first sentence in the statement is nonsensical.)

If you want to kill an app…you don’t have to. We architected something so the user doesn’t have to be the custodian of applications. We’ll give the apps in the foreground as needed. The user doesn’t have to worry about that at all. The user just uses things.

So let me get this straight, because the users are all little crybabies that don't want to worry about a thing, you are going to restrict the owner of the piece of equipment, blanket-stating that it's 'none of their concern?' Bull crap.

3. In the interview when asked about widgets on the iPad, the following statement is issued.

Q: Why have you veered away from widgets on the iPad?
A: We just shipped it on Saturday. And then we rested on Sunday.

Ok, way to compare your toy to GOD AND HIS CREATION. Smooth move, Jobs.

The Little Scrap

2009-12-15T14:57:00.002-06:00

On a warm, still, Texas winter afternoon, a young man studied in his favorite local coffee shop. It was that special time of winter; when the bliss of the holiday season combines with the stress of the final week of school at university, creating a very special and unique energy and fervor that is only known to college students. A happy thought of festivities and celebration mingles with a worrying one about his upcoming history exam. A craving for yuletide cuisine clashes with the foreboding of a research paper due in three days.

Just as the student was thinking of peppermint bark, he lifted his head from his textbooks, looked out the window and sighed a heavy sigh of exasperated contentment. A gust of wind blew suddenly, twirling the unfastened umbrellas of the outdoor patio furniture. A former pile of leaves that had accumulated in a potted plant broke loose, proceeding to flurry across the street like low flying butterflies.

In the midst of these, a white sliver of paper tumbled slightly less graceful than its surrounding medium. It caught the student's attention--the bright white shade against the drab browns and dull oranges. He observed the slip of paper to be a receipt from the very coffee shop he was studying in (he was quite familiar with the format of the receipts from visiting so often and could easily recognize it from a distance.) For some reason, the enchanting little scrap distracted the student enough to permanently hold his attention.

As the receipt made its way across the street, a relatively enormous SUV covered it and for a moment, the slip disappeared. The student, with a renewed sigh, now of whimsical grief for the paper, returned to his work.

About a moment later, the receipt flattened against the window directly adjacent to the young scholar. Because of his heightened concentration (and the caffeine he'd been drinking,) this gave him a great start. The wind stopped and the receipt fell on the ground. The young man resolved to observe this little piece of trash until it had for certain disappeared from any field of view.

After the paper had settled on the ground, a young lady walked past. Walking away from the student, her stiletto heel punctured the receipt and took it with the shoe.

The student immediately thanked whatever powers were in charge of this occurrence, as the young lady was simply beautiful, dressed in a stylish outfit involving skirts, coats, shoes, jewelry, and all the other feminine accessories the student did not understand. She was carrying several bags loudly displaying the name of the store they came from. The young lady might as well have been 10 small billboards walking down the streets, but the student didn't care.

He did notice, however that she was talking on her phone. The more he listened, the more he realized that this girl was not only simply beautiful, but also simply annoying. The shrill voice rattled on at speeds incomprehensible to the male brain. Her forehead was furrowed with the wrinkles of a stressed businesswoman, but she was only shopping. She was everything the young man hated about Christmas. The hustle and/or bustle to unhealthy extents, the extreme holiday markups, the whole lot made him sad.

Just as the student began to wish that the receipt would depart from this detestable feminine display of utter commercial exploitation, she walked in the coffee shop. On the cement floor, she now heard the wrinkly rustling of the junk on her foot. Attempting to bend down and dislodge it, she dropped a fair amount of her luggage. In a comical fit of unbalanced leaning and tripping, she cursed excessively and threw the now free receipt in a wad at the nearest trash can.

Because of his perfect seat to the spectacle, the nearest trash can happened to be directly in front of the student. The receipt bounded off the rim, missing the hole entirely. He would have chuckled, had he had the time before the crumpled little paper ball, soiled with axle grease and what appeared to be a little bit of red lipstick, hit him square in the nose.

As if it was the first present opened on Christmas morning, he gasped, smiled and opened up the little paper package. He was indeed correct in assuming the receipt was from the coffee shop he had been studying in. What he did not expect however, was that he saw his name on the receipt next to the credit card number, almost completely in X's. He looked at the date. It read "December 24th" of the year prior.

Memories went into his head like a bullet. He remembered that he was in this coffee shop on Christmas Eve one year before the present. He remembered one emotion--grief.

December 15th of that year, the student had found out about his grandfather's death. It wasn't the worst shock he would receive in his life as his grandfather was very old, but he was very close to him--closer than most are with their own fathers. The old man had served as a mentor all 20-ought years of the student's life.

For this reason, that holiday season was and would always be remembered as a tough one. Christmas eve, he was overwhelmed with a depression caused by the absence of his grandfather. Wanting fresh air and time alone, he decided to walk a ways to a nearby coffee shop.

In the present, the student imagined in his head the scene that played out. He saw himself walk in with no expression, order a black coffee and sit down in a comfortable armchair. The barista brought his coffee to him with a smile, and he sipped the bold brew. The bitter drink tasted very unpleasant to him, but he was determined to drink it, as the only one in his family that drank coffee black was his grandfather.

When he stuck his tongue out in mild disgust, he smiled remembering the first time he tried coffee that his grandfather had given him. He thought to himself "I didn't much like it then, either." Instead of grief, his mind flooded with good memories of the past.

In the present, he remembered again all the good times. He remembered that the joy given to him by his grandfather made him stronger than anything else. He began to thank God for the reminder, and he then smiled at the little scrap of paper that brought him joy once again, that reminded him of the solace he found at the coffee shop.

My favorite things

2009-06-12T23:01:00.003-05:00

Lightning storms on a road trip
Hilarious Generate times
Watching comedy TV or TV episodes on DVD until the early morning
A new melody
Being respected in music stores
Free surprises
First dates
Old drivers license pictures
Finding lost things long forgotten
Observing idiots doing stupid things
Singing

Joy Is My Strength

2009-04-24T00:34:00.002-05:00

Joy is my strength. I will always be able to believe when joy is in my heart. He knows my bondage. The way to be free is to believe, and to believe, I must have joy. For the joy of the LORD is my strength. He made me observant to find joy all around in his glorious creation. When joy allows God to reign over my life, it will shine as a light and people will see GOD in my smile and hear him in my laughs. In all hardship, I will have joy. My joy is his strength which strengthens me. Forever, AMEN.

Words I Constantly Almost Misspell Despite Frequent Use

2009-04-20T23:47:00.003-05:00

Come to think of it, misspell is one of them. Here we go.

Misspell (mispell)
Truly (Truely)
Delineate (deliniate)
Probably ("prolly" out of habit.. even in papers.)
Exercise (Excersise or Exersise or Excercise)
Amiable (Ameable)
Ridiculous (Rediculous)
Laid (layed... I know..)
It's vs. Its (Remember, It's means It is. That's "Its" meaning. ;-D)

Hope that enlightens your spelling and grammar!

2009-01-26T01:06:00.002-06:00

The coffee is keeping me awake. It's strange, because I didn't drink any! But there it sits, unmade in the coffee pot with it's bright green clock, blinking ...6 after 1. Needless to say, (but said anyway) even more time will pass as this is all written. I don't think I stay up because I am an insomniac. It seems, sadly that I never meet my daily quota for human contact. A quick google search with the search entry "disorder, desire for human contact" ironically ends up showing nothing but HSDD, Hypo-active sexual desire disorder. How off could that be? Stupid.

My Top 10 Video Games of All Time

2009-01-13T11:43:00.004-06:00

I felt compelled today to write my list of best games ever.. perhaps out of a desire for personal clarity in the matter. This is not meant to be for everyone--just me. So bite me. :P

10. Legend Of Zelda: Link To The Past (SNES)

I liken this game to an addicting flash game, because no matter how many times I beat the same dungeons, it's still run to return to. The puzzles demand to be solved each time instead of ignored or sped through.

9. Rush 2: Extreme Racing USA (N64 version)

I've probably spent more hours playing this game than any other game *ever*. My friend Brian and I would stay up to 1-2 (that was extra late back in elementary school) unlocking everything and flying off of ramps with hypo-lunar gravity. Good times.

8. The Halo Series (the ones on the original XBOX)

Before I continue, I must note I'm not a fanboy. I don't care about the lore of the game and neither am I super competitive when it comes to multiplayer matches. The real fun I found in the games were in multiplayer co-op sessions. Riding in the back of a warthog or dogfighting alongside a buddy in ghosts against the Legendary campaign was epic in that Halo way.

*here comes the Blizzard block*

7. Starcraft (PC)
It wasn't until I was older and more of a refined gamer that I possessed the "micro" necessary to begin to grasp the strategic concepts, and even still at any multi-player gathering I will get my rear end handed to me, bubbling in a hearty stew of zerglings. (Terrans are easy.) But when you do garner the skill and patience necessary to breed/warp/build an army, the satisfaction of a zerg-rush/carrier slam/battleship nuke-fest is unmatched (for now, until starcraft 2 comes out.)

6. Maplestory (PC)

I took the most flak for enjoying the heck out of this game (though my level 40 wizard paled in comparison to a pixel of the shadows of some of the 100+'s in the game) but I will always stand behind it. Maplestory is the only game I know to have successfully pulled off creating a massive, expansive (albeit literally linear) RPG world in only two dimensions. Literally--the thing is a side-scrolling MMORPG. I didn't necessarily like the grinding or the quests (WOW does it better, naturally) but the art style combined with the satisfying hack 'n slash of 2d shooters/fighters incorporating the massive community really made it fun.

5. Counterstrike 1.6 (PC)

When Half-Life 2 released for the PC, I had recently began to play the first one, and all its mods. The culture behind this game is the direct descendant of the el33t shooter gods and the perpetual n00bs of the Quake & Unreal day and age, so needless to say my vocabulary expanded a fair bit while playing. The execution of some of the first modern FPS gameplay and team dynamics always brought me back, from pub servers to clan play.

4. Final Fantasy VII (PSX)

For those of you that know me you might be wondering: "Ryan, you talk about this game ALL THE TIME! Why isn't it at the top of your list?" While the story of this game, to me, is top notch and engaging (WHY, AERIS?!) I like games that are fun to play all the way through, and FFVII had it's lulls and grindfests. There was one game that did it better...

3. Chrono Trigger (SNES)

Compared to the newer graphics and cinematic elements of FFVII, this game doesn't come close. But the story is competitive, longer, equally engaging and more expansive. The gameplay was more fun to me in general and since the storyline became less and less linear as it progressed, you had options. Combat was simple, but not to the point where it's numbing.

2. Tribes 2 (PC)

This largely unheard of FPS was the pinnacle of my gaming skill, and the first PC fps I ever played. I downloaded the demo when I was 12 years old, played a few matches with bots and other demo-users and realized "This game might actually be worth three week's allowances!" I quickly fell in love with the environments (all 6 landscape types--woo) and custom game modes/level designs found online. I could go on for pages about this game, but I'll give you one point for which I will never forget this game. 64 player CTF on a map spanning literal miles of terrain, which can only be traversed by transports operated by sentient, human players evading bombers and shrike fighter ships, ejecting from the ship (which has about 3 missles locked on at this point) dodging tron-style exploding blue frisbees on your approach to the other teams flag, only to get zapped up the butt by a shocklance (an electric knife, effectively.)

1. ...Kirby Super Star! (SNES)

I'm just a sucker for the pink one. This game was fun, is fun, and will always be just as fun if not more so no matter how much I play it. Perhaps the taste was acquired but no platformer measures up.

1a. Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Just goes without saying.

New song!

2009-01-07T02:41:00.001-06:00

V1
You lay my pain to waste
You take away the cold and dark
You give me air to breathe
I've finally found what I'm looking for

V2
The multitudes will bow
And every mouth will praise your name
Your day of Glory is here
There is no power but yours, Jesus

P.C.
Chains that bind me melt away
At the sound of your sweet voice
We cry out for your mercy and
The light that shines forever

Chorus
At the foot of the cross, at the door of your tomb
At your feet as you rise to the right hand of God
We'll glorify your name and shine as the sun

In the depths of my heart you fill me with joy
and Take me to places seen never before
The victory and triumph is Yours

Hypothetical Socio-experimentational musing #2

2009-01-04T00:39:00.003-06:00

Suppose you woke up one morning and aside from family, none of your friends remember who you are? You go to work, and your coworkers introduce themselves to you. You observe a group of your closest friends talking with each other just like normal. However, when you approach them, they either ignore you entirely, ask if they know you, or animatedly introduce themselves (whichever suits their personalities.)

I wonder what kind of advantages & disadvantages a clean slate would bring. My friends know me well because I grew up through high school with them and played in a band with them. But they also know my quirks to a tee. How would they act around me with no prior knowledge to refer to? Could similar relationships be re-built?

With all expectational matters aside, I wonder if it's possible to meet a best friend for the first time. Think about that statement for a minute. Do you believe in love at first sight? Is this the same? I think friendships paradoxically resemble romantic relationships, only because opposites do indeed attract, but groups of friends often resemble each each other, though obvious polarity still exists within the group. So what does that have to do with meeting people?

Perhaps groups of friends work only over time, after trial and error. For example... I doubt I could get in good with my group of friends if I had to do it on my own effort now. Circumstances provided an optimal discipleship environment for us to grow together in and even though I am weird as heck, they still love me, oddities included.

So the conclusion I reach from these observations is that you can't find a bestie in a day. It seems obvious now that I'm stating it, but I have proven it for my own sake. Now the problem lies in finding the qualities in people I know now that will grow into reliable positive tendencies later on--I haven't a clue where to start on this one.

Dvd wishlist

2008-12-18T23:57:00.002-06:00

I'm bored, so I'm going to write a DVD wish list!

Howl's Moving Castle
Breakfast at Tiffany's
The Dark Knight
Sweeney Todd
Underworld
Kung Fu Hustle
The Iron Giant
Steamboy

This is my turning point.

2008-12-09T00:27:00.002-06:00

I've had it. As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to sin. This person is not who I was meant to be. You'll see a new me. I'm sick of being uncommitted. This is THE final straw. I beg you, hold me accountable to being a child of God.

Hah... so!

2008-12-03T12:05:00.003-06:00

I think it's so funny that I get so upset at the times when nothing is really going on, but I find the most joy in the times of most strife. For those of you that I haven't told in the frenzy, I was in a fairly nasty car accident in which no one was injured but the cars. Oddly enough, I posted on my twitter only a few days ago that I was singing Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" over myself. It's so true! Dear Bob may not be singing it as a call to God, but that doesn't mean I can't! All things work out for good for those in Christ Jesus--and I'm already receiving blessings due to that. Praise Be!

Psalms 22:19-24

19 But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

20 Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.

21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.

23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!

24 For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.

My Oddities, let me show you them

2008-11-30T15:52:00.003-06:00

I am growing insane, apparently, by definition, because I keep trying the same thing in my relationships and I'm constantly expecting something different to happen. The question that poses itself is is this really insane taking into account that all people are made as individuals? A pessimist sees all people the same, whereas an optimist might find new opportunities in every meeting. Is that really so insane?

It is said among the wise that in order to find friends and/or to be a friend, be interested in them. This makes sense, but how exactly is that accomplished? I may not even need friendship, what about just some help? How does one accomplish finding that? As much as I write about myself, I don't want to be selfish. This is all just so weird.

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

2008-11-28T00:20:00.002-06:00

So I know it's (as of now) 20 minutes past Thanksgiving officially, but I felt motivated to write a list of what I'm thankful for. You know, the whole schpeel.

Obligatory first item, though I do not regard it as merely obligatory, is my salvation. No matter what crap I find myself in the midst of or what kind of things I've done to my existence, There's always the fact that I am saved by Grace, and that power comes through faith, and faith comes from the Word of God. Fantastic.
I actually mentioned this at the dinner table today... call me a nerd, but I'm really thankful for technology. Despite the naysayers that call it the doom of mankind, technology has made life so much easier (if not too easy) for privileged nations like the US to go on. Technology has saved probably millions of lives by now, and it *literally* paves a cultures way through the pages of history. I'm glad America is in the top tier of advancing nations. (Oh, and that we are free to do so. Obligatory freedom plug.)
I am probably most thankful for--in the personal sense of what has been personally bestowed upon me--the blessing that Gateway Worship has been to me. They are not even my second family; as far as I'm concerned, they are pretty much just as important to me. I thank God personally for each person and their influence on my life.
About a year ago, I went through a stage when I thanked God specifically for prompting the existence of music. I believe it is the closest thing to direct communication of souls that can be heard by a human ear, and God made it!
I just remembered.. I am unbelievably thankful for my hands, feet, eyes, ears, nose, taste and all that stuff. I love God's world.
I'm thankful for my pedalboard. ^_^

What are you most thankful for this season, COMMENTERS?

My soul is speaking to me--it says your fly is down.

2008-11-27T00:14:00.003-06:00

Do you ever get the feeling that on the inside, someone is trying to talk to you? From what I can tell, it's not the Holy Spirit and it's really odd. Sometimes I feel as if an idea or a concept is screaming from inside and I'm just sitting there on my rear ignoring it. Perhaps a song is clawing at my insides attempting to escape, or perhaps a poem is only a step away from leaving my breath.

If you spend any amount of time around me on a semi-regular basis, you know I have the tendency to say the silliest things out of nowhere. I'll claim I have no disorder of attention deficiency, but I really am beginning to wonder. Let me paint a picture for you: Imagine me in a dark place, nowhere in particular, all alone, standing in a spotlight from above. With seemingly no inspiration, I say something stupid, such as "How could evolution have made such perfect genital puzzle pieces?" Another note--often times my musings are quite..edgy. I baffle myself on a daily basis when these things slip out of my mouth.

I clearly baffle others, too. Some appreciate it, such as my sister and her friends. Some don't, and in each case that this is true, they're usually right. The beloved Brad Jackson is quick to suggest the installation of an oral filter, to stop the stupid things. I am quick to retort that I like being stupid (and this sounds sillier as I type it) and putting a filter on hinders me from being me! But I really am in a pickle. Those odd things that I say really aren't helpful towards my personality. Sure, quirks are fine, but I miss the things I used to muse over when I was studying philosophy and English. Yet, I have matured since then. None of this makes sense to me at all.

So what should I really do when I encounter that person in the spotlight saying to me "Oh oh oh! Tell them that his head is in the shape of a pear when he makes that face!"? I haven't a dang clue.

Finally, a real epiphery!

2008-11-19T01:53:00.002-06:00

So I'm a bit of a socio-addict. I hadn't realized it, but I had become addicted to Facebook like an annoying junior high student (no offense, non-annoying junior high students) addicted to Myspace. I am quite sure that this addiction bled into my social interaction and made several meetings awkward, and more importantly, weirded a lot of people out. I apologize for my behavior. In an aim to better myself and re-prioritize, I won't be using Facebook for the remainder of the semester. Not only will I be able to focus on my school work, but I will no longer have what I determined to be a "romantic menu" accessible at all times. That may not make sense to you, but believe me, it's very important that I take a break. If you need to contact me, my phone number is listed there and you can always shoot me an e-mail or IM. Also, if you're so very desperate to talk to me, get a twitter. It's great.

Ciao, FB users.

O to be a Recluse

2008-10-23T00:29:00.003-05:00

O to be a recluse
A sharp mind in the shadows
A grace unseen by all
Tangled in thick solitude.

O to be so careless
Not a care for him
Or from others like him
But no tears or pains will come.

O to be a blind man
A mind's eye pristine
Never to be touched by evil
Never revealing the wonders.

O to be one alive
Eyes and ears open to all
Laden with worldly wonders
There's hardly a lonely moment.

O to be a loved one
On four feet, not two
The lonely legs weaken
And still walk alone.

O to be a severed limb
From the body I once belonged
That one's useless, imperfect
Cut it off from the rest.

O to be a recluse
A sharp mind, gone to waste
A grace forsaken by one
Caught in death itself.

Los Dos Amores de Mi Vida

2008-10-03T00:59:00.002-05:00

Lover Number One, I can't say for sure
That you ever really knew who you were to me
But lo was I surely smitten by you,
Your Brown eyes in a golden sea of hair
We grew together, at least I did, living
Amongst each other's kin nearly daily
We knew not much more than the home
Where I tried to twist our souls to one.
This is the one, I told God with a fire
Burning me inside out, as you dwindled.
I was blinded by my very own wildfire
All the while you kindled elsewhere,
Safely out of sight, you grew with him.
My heart beat with anticipation when I
Opened that vocal envelope that would bring
A year of heartache and loneliness.
"God, WHY?" I shouted silently, staining
Everything my eyes drew near to, weeping
Like the child I was to believe in you then.
You taught me love, hate, pain and angst
On that car ride in the countryside, I won't
Forget that day at the beach when I thought
Just maybe God was wrong and I was right.

A poor steward of souls I became, until I found
You, my second and last love. Almost unwillingly
You accepted my heart in the bleeding basket that
Would slowly stain everything over time.
Neither of us hell-bound, we forged onward
Into A reality largely unknown to us both
Naive as you were, Perverted as I was, we trekked
Into grounds where soiled feet should never lay flat.
This is the one, I told God with a certainty unseen.
Overjoyed I kissed you daily that blissful summer
When I smiled and wished to fight for you against
Those I thought would steal you away.
"Speak my language!" you chanted and listened I did
To no avail for you simply did not understand me
No you did not understand that I am a lover,
Good for nothing else but Music.

I wander forward with a white cloth blinding
And a red cloth binding my hands to my head
Submitted I creep to a future dangerous and
Divine, crafted by the only one that knows
Just where I am supposed to go. Though He
Loves to be vague and surprise, the mistakes will
Come and I must move forward unwavering
Trusting in Love and his unfailing Grace Alone.

Don't take this too Seriously now.

2008-09-30T11:59:00.002-05:00

I am an emotional wisp in a world full of lovers. I am the chill in your spine when romance unfold before us. I am each of your hairs, standing on end at the sight of someone special. I am the intangible burden on the hearts of a thousand unrequited admirers. I am a tap on the shoulder of a bashful young man, leaning against the wall at a Sadie Hawkins dance. I am 2, 1, 0, -1, and so on...whatever is <3. I am an earnest kiss on the cheek and a thank you, even though the dinner he made tasted terrible. I am a letter, smelling sweet on pink pastel stationery, bringing answers to a weary soul. I am the millions of dried up tears that invisibly stain the carpet of funeral homes everywhere. I am a feeling, an emotion, a chemical response. I am Love as you all see it. I am Romance, and it's ok that you like me.

But I am sacrifice, death and resurrection for your sake. I am The One. True. Original. Love. Christ.

Train Of Thought: Oh It is Love

2008-09-27T03:28:00.003-05:00

I think I'm going to attempt to be poetic for the remainder of my consciousness tonight.
Hmm... I wonder what I could do in order to stay productive and stay up even longer? :) that'd be grand.
I just remembered the "creepiness" formula for appropriate dating ages. I think I'll write a program to perform the calculations. Brb.

Done! Let me know if you want a copy :P

Ok, so after further testing... I had to add some additional conditions. For example. If you are 5 years old, you can't date a -4 yearold...or date at all, really. Plus, the formula was designed for legal people anyway.

I wonder is it better to focus thought on someone to remain devoted to a cause or if it's better to ignore everyone and have the cause burn at you.
I should really REALLY stop thinking about who she could be, and start thinking about who she is.
Started this blog at 3:45. It's 4:27 now. I wonder how much longer I can last?
I still have dust in my mouth from the project 114 prayer gathering. Boy was that fun.
I should get these allergy eyes looked at. Irritation every time I come home is kinda annoying.
I hope I can maybe get some work done before church tomorrow. I have a paper to research for and physics to do!
With this I will depart: I will never cease to love.

Me and Romance

2008-09-17T00:08:00.004-05:00

So, I need to get all of this out on the table for myself and anyone who needs to understand.

As of August 20th, 2008, I made a commitment to cease and desist for one year all romantic pursuit and active relationship; otherwise known as dating. This was inspired by Preston's message at Seven on the 19th.. the day before. He spoke of sacrifice, and how sometimes the desires of our hearts sometimes require it. Now, here, you will learn something about me that I consider to be, from my perspective, a pivotal point of why I exist in this world. I want more than anything in the entire world, more than a billion dollars, more than world peace, all of it. This desire weighs heavily on my heart--a calling, if you will. I obviously want to fulfill it, and sometimes took matters of looking into my own hands. I figure God will teach me some things if I take some time off from the scene.

Here's where it gets frustrating. Sometimes this little idea of mine comes up in conversation and when I tell them of the sacrifice and desire involved... and then the sudden, prolonged absence of it. They say to me "Well you'll be fine, just enjoy your time being single." I get a bit upset whenever people tell me this, because it defeats the entire purpose of this whole thing. First, they speak of being single a time to enjoy.. a time outside of the life-long relationship that I search for. Frankly, if you are not committed to something, you are going down a dangerous road. Temptation strikes easily on those who's path is aimless. The way I see it, is that anyone you see or hear that says "Single and loving it" either has their mind on the right things, the relationship to come, or they're fooling around with who knows who.

In addition, the time with God has brought me back to the origin of my romantic tendencies. I feel young again, in a sense, back to the days when that love was simple, straightforward and innocent. It's as if that this time is not devoted to being single at all! I feel more like I am getting in touch with my partner as she relates to me. I suppose you could say the same for me and my relationship with God. I have fallen so in love and have been filled with so much joy. However, I don't credit this to "singleness" but that I am in a Holy relationship, allowing God to shape me to fit with my missing piece.

As per my personality, enjoying single time is a bit of a stupid thing. I feel most satisfied when someone takes satisfaction in drawing from me, and when the same is true the other way around. Being single opens the door to temptation which is not something that I enjoy dealing with. The only thing that has changed for these next 11 months is I am throwing these tendencies to the wind, offering up my "lover's mind" as a sacrifice. My only aim is to abide in God's will, and arrive closer to a milestone than I was when I started.

Train Of Thought: Not That You Care.... but what the heck.

2008-09-15T01:05:00.004-05:00

So, I had some thoughts I wanted to write down that were too numerous for a micro-blog but too small for a full blown blog-blog.

1. I've decided to never stop pursuing.. er, maybe, hop.. no... well, I'll just put it this way. I've decided that there is no such thing as impossible to me anymore.. because I serve a very possible God... right? :P

2. New Pet Peeves

Never ever ever EVER use more than one of the same punctuation mark to end a sentence. For example: "Where did u go??????" *gag*-----oh, and please use apostrophes in contractions. First grade English, my friends.
If someone responds to something I say with "ok?" they instantly lose all credibility for anything they say for the rest of the day.
Stop being so picky. You only live once, you know, so let Him control everything so you don't have to.
I don't care what it's about.. but stop whining. No more whining! (I expect this of myself as well.)

3. I'm happy now, you know? Bear with me if something seems off, mk?

The Bass

2008-09-08T22:00:00.001-05:00

God Created The Bass: In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz--nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old ...definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful "sunburst" red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.)

And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork. Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky. And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens. And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.) And God heard this--how could He miss it? And lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man. And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of. And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer. "You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass.

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say, 'Wow,' but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night. And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink." And it was so.

New Word: DBU Introductory post

2008-08-27T11:40:00.002-05:00

FYI, I love it here on campus. You all should go to school here.

Sexcellent - Excellent, and sexy. How has no one thought of this before?