EQ4PM

Forrester Research Puts Emotional Intelligence At Top Of List of PM Capabilities

Anthony Mersino — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:31:52 -0500

A recent article in CIO magazine emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence to IT project managers. The article refers to a recent report from Forrester Analyst Mary Gerush titled, "Define, Hire and Develop Your Next Generation Project Managers". As a result of her research, Analyst Gerush published a list of the top 10 Capabilities of Next Generation Project Managers.

I am not sure exactly what Ms. Gerush meant by "Next Generation Project Managers" or how helpful I find that distinction. In my experience, these key capabilties apply to all project managers, current and Next Generation.

Strikingly, emotional intelligence dominates the list of 10 capabilities needed by these Next Generation Project Managers. Not only was Emotional Intelligence listed as the #1 capability, the next three were all part of the Framework for Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers. For more background on emotional intelligence for project managers, read these previous posts.

#1 - Emotional Intelligence: The ability to pick up on events and interactions (both verbal and non-verbal) and to process those inputs in the context of the project plan. (Note: These are addressed in the framework in the domains of Self-awareness and Social Awareness.)

#2 - Adaptive Communication: The ability to articulate one's ideas--whether orally or in writing--to a range of individuals, groups and cultures using the most effective communication techniques for each group. (Note: This is addressed in the framework under the domain of Team Leadership.)

#3 - People Skills: The ability to quickly build and maintain positive relationships with team-members and stakeholders. (Note: This is addressed in the framework under the domain of Relationship Management.)

#4 - Management Skills: The ability to serve, motivate and focus a team and to foster collaboration among team members. (Note: This is addressed in the framework under the domain of Team Leadership.)

If you want to immediately make an impact on your own capabilities in these 4 areas, you can read through the previous posts on this site and boost your understanding of emotional intelligence and how to apply it to project management.

Here are the rest of the 10 capabilities of Next Generation Project Managers as defined in the article at CIO Magazine:

#5 - Flexibility: The willingness and ability to change one's approach to project management and/or course of action in response to business needs.

#6 - Business Savvy: Knowledge of the organization's business, strategy and industry. Ability to understand a strategy and align tactical work around that strategy.

#7 - Analytical Skills: The ability to think through problems and decisions.

#8 - Customer Focus: The ability to understand the end-user or end customer's needs and the drive to ensure that projects meet those needs.

#9 - Results-Orientation: The ability to get things done efficiently and effectively.

#10 - Character: The project manager should have an appealing personality and a strong moral and ethical character.

You can order a copy of the report from Forrester here: Define, Hire and Develop Your Next Generation Project Managers. Just be prepared to shell out $499. As an alternative, you could buy my book (Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers) at Amazon.com for $13.57 and save yourself $485. That seems pretty intelligent to me. But then again, I think I might be a Last Generation Project Manager.

Cheers!

Anthony

Use a Game to Motivate

Anthony Mersino — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:35:24 -0500

Last year I wrote the short blurb below in my monthly newsletter. It is about using games to motivate ourselves or our teams.

One trick we can use to get us fired up about our goals is to make a game of them. Even better is to find competitors who will spur us on. Most of us like to compete though many of us are undercover about our competitiveness. Competition can help us to quickly ramp up our game! Find someone who is doing something similar and make it your goal to beat them. Or, create a friendly wager that will spur you both on.

One little-known secret behind my success in qualifying for the 2007 Boston Marathon was that my wife Norma qualified in October 2006. I felt like she was walking around the house, gloating, with a t-shirt on that said she qualified! It really got to me when she began making travel arrangements to go to Boston for the race without me. The thought of her going to Boston without me spurred me on. I was sad and angry and I didn't want to get left behind and that was the push I needed to qualify. I ran in Las Vegas in December of 2006 and missed my qualifying time by 12 minutes. I was ready to give up when I thought about her and that shirt. I signed up for the New Orleans Marathon and ran that at the end of February 2007, and made my time with only 90 seconds to spare!

I took my own advice recently when I found myself stuck and I was reminded how powerful this concept is, at least for me. I had committed to running the 2009 Chicago Marathon to raise money for charity. The running part was hard – I had an 18 week training plan that built from 15 miles to 40 miles in a week!

As hard as that sounds, I found that the other part of the commitment was even harder – asking people to contribute money to the cause. Now my particular cause was an easy one to get behind. I am raising money for RISE International to build a primary school in rural Angola Africa where none exists today. However, I still found myself very stuck or scared to reach out to people and ask for help. With less than 6 weeks to go before the race, I had only raised $250 and that was from my own brother.

So I made a game out of it. I challenged a good friend and fellow runner Tim to a fund raising competition. For the last 6 weeks leading up to the race, we would track the donations each of us received. Each week, the person who raised the least would contribute $20 to the campaign of the other. We also set up an overall competition where the person who raised the least overall would take the other and his wife out to dinner.

Did it motivate me? You’d better believe it. The idea of competing with someone got me moving and willing to push through my fear. The contest was on my mind and I began to think creatively about who to contact for help and what to say. I found myself checking where I was versus my competitor multiple times throughout the day (you can check the current results for yourself here).

The results have been great. Over the last 4 weeks I went from raising $250 to raising over $6,600. My friend and competitor Tim raised $8,600. Together, we raised over $15,000 and I know that is more than either of us expected at the start. Though it now seems likely I will have to concede the overall contest, I put up a good fight and won two of the weekly competitions.

I challenge you to give it some thought to how to use competition to motivate yourself or others. When people are stuck or scared, how can you make it a game? Where would a friendly competition bring out the best in you?

Cheers!

Anthony

Running the 2009 Chicago Marathon

Anthony Mersino — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:55:06 -0500

As many of you know, I have been a runner for a number of years now and I have run a number of marathons. I even qualified and ran the coveted Boston Marathon 2 years ago. This fall I am running for a purpose beyond just trying to keep my weight under control.

On October 11, I will be running the Chicago Marathon to raise money for a charity. The particular charity I’ve chosen is RISE International which helps the children of Angola by building schools. Education has made such a big difference in my own life that I cannot imagine that there are 3.5 million children in Angola Africa who do not have any school to attend. Our Rise Running team is committed to raising $80,000 to build one school in Angola. We recognize that we cannot individually solve all the problems, but we can each do a little bit to help.

My own goal is to raise $3,000 toward that school which is just over $115 for each of the 26 miles I will run. I am inviting people like you to donate to this cause. If each person donates $2 or $3 per mile (or one person donates $3,000!), we will easily meet or exceed that goal.

You learn more about this opportunity by visiting my fund-raising page at http://www.firstgiving.com/anthonymersino. If you chose to help, you can safely donate online with a credit card. All donations are secure and sent directly to RISE International, NFP by Firstgiving, who will email you a printable record of your donation. You can also mail me a check made out to RISE International if you’d prefer.

Please forward this on to anyone who might like to be a part of the team.

Thank you in advance.

Anthony

A Bad Day at the Lake is Better Than a Good Day at Work

Anthony Mersino — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:54:43 -0500

I was out running the other morning about 6:00am and I noticed some guys out fishing in the lagoons near my house. Out of nowhere, I remembered a beer can huggie that I used to have about 20 years ago. It said, "A bad day at the lake is better than a good day at work".

Wow, I guess you could say that things have changed for me in the last 20 years. I used to believe in that approach. Work was not necessarily fun or rewarding, it was something you did in order to be able to pay for the things that you really enjoyed. In the early Eighties there was even a popular Loverboy song that captured the thinking, "Everybody is Working for the Weekend". What a waste of our valuable life energy.

My current philosophy is that work should be fun. Your work should be something you are passionate about, something that brings you energy and aliveness. I feel lucky in my role as a recovery project manager because it plays to my strengths and it great fun. I am working with people I like and respect and the work is challenging yet very rewarding. I am happy and excited to head into work each day.

If your work isn't fun and energizing, then you probably aren't enjoying it much. And you probably are transmitting that message indirectly through your emotions and body language as well as directly through your comments. You are certainly attracting other like-minded individuals and creating an image or brand for yourself which is very negative.

If your best days are somewhere other than work, I strongly recommend that you find new work. Perhaps you need to be on the lake - as the captain or hired hand on a boat charter. Perhaps you need to be teaching children or painting pictures or growing organic tomatoes. Figure out what makes you alive, energized, and hopping out of bed in the morning and go do it with passion.

Cheers,

Anthony

Living the Dream

Anthony Mersino — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:53:08 -0500

I have a bunch of friends who founded a consulting company called Junction Solutions about 6 years ago. They worked hard and the company has grown exponentially. As a result, they are all very successful and likely quite wealthy.

One of the founders is named Jeff. I talked with Jeff several times about the possibility of joining the company (a decision I sometimes question) and I'll never forget his signature line - "I'm living the dream". These guys were all working like crazy and sacrificing a lot to make their company successful but they viewed it as fun and as living out their dream.

I get a little jealous when I hear that they are living the dream. As I think about my own life and career, more often than not I look like I am in the battle for my life. I usually look more like I am struggling and fighting for survival than looking like I am thriving and at ease.

This is a lot like my running. When I run I am generally pushing myself, tired, out of breath, and looking like I need a long nap. Take a look at this picture below taken moments after finishing the Las Vegas Marathon in December of 2006. Do I look to you like I am living the dream?

In short, no. I look spent, completely used up, and nearly dead. Which is exactly how I felt that day in that moment. I was trying to get a 3:30 marathon time to qualify for the Boston Marathon and on this day, I came up short. I was utterly exhausted and dehydrated as well. I had my wife Norma, my brother Scott, and my friend Tim all there to support me and I felt like I let them down because I did not do what I came there to do. I went all out and I did not achieve my goal.

The thing is, I often work like this as well. I go all out and wind up looking like I am spent, used up, and just hanging on by a thread. I don't imagine it is attractive to others and I don't believe it conveys an image of success. It does not look like I am living the dream.

Or does it? Is it possible to be spending yourself entirely, to be going all out, to go after your goals with abandon AND to be living the dream at the same time? Is it possible that this look of exhaustion is also a look of living the dream?

What would living the dream look like for you? Would it be a smile of contentment as you sit back and relax in a lawn chair sipping a cold drink? Or would it be the look of near exhaustion as you strive for your goals - whatever they are - without looking backwards or to the side? Can we be 'in the fight' and 'leaving it all on the field' and living the dream at the same time?

I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed living the dream and I want to be more comfortable telling people that. After all, I am doing work that is satisfying and rewarding to me. Like Winston Wolf, I have a reputation for fixing problems. I am building relationships with people all the time and helping organizations to reach their goals. I am using the unique gifts and talents that God has given me. It is a wild ride that often leaves me drained, exhausted, yet somehow satisfied. If that isn't living the dream, I don't know what is.

Cheers!

Anthony

Build Effective Relationships...with Everyone

Anthony Mersino — Sat, 30 May 2009 11:42:05 -0500

This post is part of my series called "Soft Skills for Hard Time; How to be Your Best When the Economy is a Mess". My goal is to get you to appreciate that your security comes from within and you can increase your security and value to the marketplace by investing in your soft skills.

In the movie the Godfather II, Michael Corleone, played by Al Pacino, says that his father taught him to "keep his friends close and his enemies closer".

I think the point he was trying to make is that we need to build effective relationships with others. In particular, we need to be attentive to building relationships with those we don't consider our friends, who don't like us or we don't like, those who are different from us, or those who intimidate us.

Think about the spectrum of people that you interact with on a regular basis. At the highest level, you have the ones that you like and the ones you don't like. Of that second group, you have people that you don't know very well, people that you are sure don't like you, people that are too busy too spend time with you, people that are self-focused and disinterested in you and your success, and the people who for any reason seem to send out a signal that says "please go away and stay away". (BTW, I used to send those signals myself.)

It is natural for us to spend the majority of our time with people we DO LIKE and that LIKE US and to avoid or spend no time with people that we DON'T LIKE or DON'T LIKE US. While it might be natural, this may be the exact opposite of how we should approach relationships.

In the past year, I worked for 3 different companies and led 2 different projects and 3 programs. With the exception of two people, every resource on those 5 teams was a brand new relationship for me. I am probably unique in terms of project managers. But I think I know something about building stakeholder relationships and doing it quickly and effectively. I make relationship-building a priority because it is critical to my success.

I still struggle though when it comes to building relationships with certain people. I put them last on my list when returning calls. I dread my next interaction with them. I grind my teeth when they speak up at meetings. My stomach turns when I see their caller id on my phone.

The Godfather knew what he was talking about when he said to 'keep your enemies closer'. I admit that I struggle with this but I do know the way out - we need to invest in those relationships that are difficult. This means to invest in getting to know the people that are tough instead of avoiding them.

There are a couple of tools that I use to help with this - a strengths and weakness assessment and a stakeholder matrix. I will talk about strengths and weaknesses in an upcoming post. Read on for more information about using a stakeholder matrix.

The stakeholder matrix is a helpful way to collect and organize information about our team, sponsor, key contributors and any other stakeholders involved in our projects and programs. Some of the key pieces of information I recommend collecting includes:

Stakeholder Priority
Position toward you (positive, neutral, negative)
Role on the Project
Stakeholder Objectives
Facts, Passion, and Areas of Interest
Communications Style

The key benefit that I see in the use of the matrix is to keep us honest. By putting it together in one place, we can get a clear view of the state of our relationships. When we begin to look across our projects and programs and compare our relationships, we can see the patterns where we have inconsistencies in relationships. Sometimes we think we do a good job with all our relationships, however, without some sort of tracking mechanism, we don’t really know.

I often have workshop participants complete the stakeholder matrix as an exercise. Inevitably, they are surprised at how little they know about specific team members or other stakeholders.

You can download a blank stakeholder analysis template from my website here. Use it to catalog your current relationships and identify those that are in the most trouble or are the most challenging to build. Then, one relationship at a time, take steps to address those relationships that are hardest for you or in the worst shape.

Action Steps:

Download the stakeholder analysis tool and complete it for your current project or team.
Identify those relationships that are difficult for you and what it is that makes them difficult. It is because people don't like you, they avoid you, you are intimidated, or they are too busy? Try to be as specific as possible. Rank order the relationships from best to worst.
Pick just one of those relationships to start with and make an investment. There are plenty of posts on relationship building here on this blog to give you ideas. But the simplest way to build the relationship is to spend some time with the other person.
Treat your relationship building efforts as a game. Give yourself points every day when you do well and deduct points when you don't. Have fun with it.

Please stop back and post a comment about your relationship building struggles and successes.

Cheers!

Anthony

Tell the Truth - Part 1

Anthony Mersino — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:57:51 -0500

This post is part of a new series that I call "Soft Skills for Hard Time; How to be Your Best When the Economy is a Mess". My goal is to get you to appreciate that your security comes from within and you can increase your security and value to the marketplace by investing in your soft skills.

People laugh when I say that we should tell the truth. They say that of course you need to tell the truth. I am not necessarily talking about telling the truth in big ways like, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”. What I am talking about is truthfulness and integrity across all of our communications. It also means being able to tell the truth in a way that is responsible and not mean-spirited. And it means not leaving things out or telling only part of the truth.

I find that I really appreciate people that tell the truth. In the movie Liar Liar, Jim Carey plays an attorney. For a short period of time, he cannot tell a lie. As a result, he finds that both his personal and professional life becomes untenable. My favorite part of the movie is when he is asked to say something about each of his co-workers gathered together in a conference room. Since he must tell the truth, he tends to say the things that everyone knows about each other but no one else is willing to say. Everyone finds it hilarious as he goes around the large conference table saying what everyone has thought about but never said out loud.

Unless you are ready to make a job change, I suggest that you think twice before you go into work and try to do the same. But I would contend that people that can tell the truth in a direct and responsible way are valued. Think about your close friends and co-workers. Do you value the ones who "tell it like it is" or always let you know where they stand? I know I do.

Telling the truth is a key part of the emotional intelligence competence of relationship management. Truth is critical to effective relationships.

The challenge for many of us is that we have been taught that telling the truth is not a good idea when it comes to others. Each of us were taught some rules about what is OK to say and what is not. Take a look at the following spoken and unspoken rules from my childhood and see if you can predict the impact that the rule had on my ability to tell the truth as an adult.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
Children should be seen and not heard.
Respect your elders
We don't talk about things outside of our family

Look at each of these rules from a “truthfulness” point of view - do you think that these rules would tend to shape children into truth tellers? Well, no. In fact, my tendency in the past would have been to say nothing so that I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Or, I would leak out my "truth" in a very sarcastic or mean-spirted way.

If I want to be a strong leader and project manager, I need to be able to tell the truth as directly and responsibly as possible. Tellling the truth makes me trustworthy, it attracts followers, and helps me to build strong relationships with others. I know all that but I still find it challenging some times due to my early childhood training.

Not long ago, I was responsible for a critical IT program and I reported directly to the executive sponsor. One day prior to a large program review, I received an email from my sponsor's manager "Gary", who was also a critical stakeholder. Gary said he wanted a program update directly from me. He said he wanted the unfiltered truth about the state of the program.

I was flattered and excited. He wants to hear from me! Wow, I must be important. We had the call on a Friday morning, before a broader program review with my sponsor and other key stakeholders. I was pretty blunt and straightforward when I shared my thoughts and recommendations with Gary. I think I may even have quietly congratulated myself on what a good truth-teller I had become. I did not, however, tell my sponsor about the call.

Later that day, in the middle of the broader program review, Gary dropped a bomb. Out of nowhere he said something like "this was one of the things that I asked Anthony about when we spoke this morning". Ouch! I did not see that coming. My sponsor didn't say anything (out loud), but his body language spoke volumes! In fact, he did not say another word to me that day.

It was clear that he didn't like being blindsided. Duh! I should have let him know I was going to talk with his boss about the program. I went from feeling like someone important to feeling like a snitch. I felt like a total schmuck for not telling the complete truth to my sponsor.

Later that day, I caught up with my sponsor and I apologized for not telling him about the call. I told him that I would always let him know whenever I had any type of conversation with his boss. He said that it was OK and I think that I repaired some of the damage, but I know that my actions that day cost me big time in terms of his trust.

So do you think you are good at telling the truth or in need of some help? Here are some action steps to help you improve in this area.

What are the spoken and unspoken messages you learned about telling the truth as you were growing up? If you don't remember, call your siblings and see if they do. Dig in to see how those rules affect you and your relationships now as an adult.
What are those areas where you are challenged to be entirely truthful? What can you do to be more truthful?

Opportunity for Those Impacted by Economic Turndown

Anthony Mersino — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:28:55 -0500

In my last newsletter, I announced that I would offer free participation at my next Emotional Intelligence Workshop for any project managers who had lost their job in the current economic turndown. The workshop will help individuals boost their soft skills and build relationships with project team members and other key stakesholders. The location is Schaumburg IL and it provides 14 PDUs and is a $700 value - I only ask that the participants pay a nominal fee for materials.

That workshop is coming up in less than 3 weeks (April 13 and 14) so I just want to remind everyone that if you want to take advantage of this offer, please contact me for registration information.

Cheers!

Anthony

Still Time to Participate in the Current EQ and PM Research

Anthony Mersino — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 09:49:52 -0500

A few weeks back I posted about some research currently underway for emotional intelligence, project management and leadership. Well, I just heard from Sriram Rajagopalan that he is about 50% complete with his research on emotional intelligence and it's role in the leadership of virtual teams. With just two weeks left on his survey project, you still have time to participate and to receive the results.

Here is the link to the survey - http://www17.brinkster.com/shreesundar/survey. I hope you will participate and encourage other PMPs to do the same.

Cheers!

Anthony

Be a Winner not a Whiner

Anthony Mersino — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:30:00 -0500

There is an excellent scene in the Devil Wears Prada where Andy (played by Anne Hathaway) tells Nigel (Stanely Tucci) that she is working hard and her boss Miranda (Meryl Streep) is being so mean to her.

“I’d just like a little credit because I am killing myself trying” she says. To which Nigel says, “You are not trying, you are whining”. He went on to point out the various ways that she wasn’t really trying and that she was not doing everything possible to get the results that were expected of her. I loved it!

How many of us have people around us whining all day? How many of you have people on your teams that tell you how hard they are working or how much effort everything takes? Nigel’s response to Andy in the movie was, “Quit! I have a hundred girls who would kill to have your job.” It would be easy in this economic climate for someone like me who is a natural task master to say something just like this.

On the other hand, emotional intelligence training would tell us that it is important, critical even, to be empathetic. So the question I have for you is this, how do you balance a need to be empathetic toward people when you are results focused and have a violent reaction to whining??? In fact, I hate whining. So what do I do when people whine?

The thing is, I have a small confession. As much as I hate whining, it turns out I am also a bit of a complainer myself. Perhaps it is my old age setting in but I am starting to complain about cold weather, lousy drivers, the music my kids listen to, and occasionally how hard I am working.

When I do it with my wife, it stresses her out. She thinks I am going to have a meltdown or she is going to need to fix me somehow. It has only been through therapy that she has learned to say – “you sound like a whiner!” It helps.

What she challenges me to do is evaluate what it is I am trying to accomplish and to reframe my complaints in terms of specific facts and requests. She wants me to take responsibility.

I think this same kind of model applies to others whining to us. What are they trying to accomplish with their whining? Do they have any intention to change or do anything different? Are they taking personal responsibility for a solution, or are they simply complaining to complain or to generate self-pity?

The challenge for us as project managers and leaders is this – how do we balance genuine empathy with a disdain for whining? How do we acknowledge that it can be tough but we know that people can get the job done? How do we discern those individual on our teams who have real problems from those who have simply grown accustomed to whining?

Consider the following balance between empathy and a results focus. The idea of the chart is showing that the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

In this framework, we could think of 4 different possible positions.

Vacant Lot - Those that don't show much empathy but don't expect much from people are in the vacant lot camp. They don't really expect much to come.
Boot Camp - Those that are low in empathy but have high expectations for results are what I would call the boot camp mode. Drop and give me 20 Soldier! would be an appropriate statement.
Day Care - Leaders that have high empathy but lack a results focus would be in the day care camp; they coddle their team members and don't expect or get much from them.
Apprentice - The final category is what I woud call the apprentice model. In this case, leaders have both high empathy and high results focus. They are focused on developing the people around them and getting the best results from them.

I think it is possible to balance empathy with a strong results focus. It takes incredibly good listening skills but we need to show people empathy while at the same time letting them know that we expect them to meet their deadlines for tasks and deliverables.

Being both empathetic and results oriented with people isn't always easy, but it is the best way to encourage whiners to become winners. Here are some action steps you can take now with your current team:

Ask people what they need - When others seem to be whining or complaining to you, ask them what they need instead of trying to solve their problem. In most cases, people are not interested in you solving their problem - they just want to be heard.
Set limits - Set time limits on listening to whining. We used a rant concept on a large IT program a few years ago. During our weekly status meeting, each team member was given 30 seconds to rant about anything they wanted. After the ranting, we told people they needed to move on to take ownership for a solution.
Anticipate breakdowns – Help others to anticipate and avoid some of the common breakdowns or team failures. For example, if it is winter time in Chicago, we can always expect some weather related issues in travel or even just people getting to the work location. If we have a project that is in crunch mode, we need to have a plan that incorporates weather disruptions. We need to communicate our expectations ahead of time whether that includes everyone taking their laptop home every night or making sure their VPN software and other tools are up to date.
Grow People - Treat every day as an opportunity to coach and mentor, using the apprentice model. Grow and develop the talent under you so that your job is easier.

More Research on Emotional Intelligence and Project Management

Anthony Mersino — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 09:47:00 -0500

Last week I wrote about a couple of research projects that are currently underway to study the relationship between emotional intelligence and different types of leadership in project managers. I encouraged all project managers to participate to help with the research.

These were only two of six research projects that I have learned about. Two other projects that have not yet reached the survey phase are described below. I have requested that Chris Haigh and Donnisha Beverly please let me know when they enter the research phase and I will post the links to their survey and any relevant updates here.

#3 - Benefits of Emotional Intelligence in Project Managers

This research is on emotional intelligence in project management, the benefits that can be offered, and how much is intuitive. The objective is to determine whether emotional intelligence is an intuitive ability amongst skilled project managers, must it be taught or trained, or is it an application of common sense?

There are two two key objectives to this study:

To determine how many project managers are aware of emotional intelligence, and how many deliberately use it as a tool.
To discover if project managers not aware of emotional intelligence as a concept, still intuitively perform the same basic principles.

Researcher: Chris Haigh

Warwick University, UK
chris.j.haigh@googlemail.com

#4 - Perception of IT Leaders' Emotional Intelligence

This research will help to evaluate the employee's perception of IT leaders' emotional intelligence and the influence of IT leaders' EI on employee job performance.

Researcher: Donnisha Beverly

University of Phoenix
grafixdzyner@comcast.net

I look forward to hearing more about these research projects and I will keep you posted.

Cheers!

Anthony

Get Yourself Fired Up, Not Fired

Anthony Mersino — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:31:03 -0600

Have you ever gotten so angry you wanted to choke someone? In the first Star Wars movie, Darth Vader strangled one of his own team members just for disagreeing with him.

In the US at least, it is not legal to choke a team member, though I am sure that many of us have had the desire to do just that at one time or another.

Anger is one of 3 emotions that we really need to manage carefully. In terms of managing our emotions, Anger is the #1 emotion we need to worry about. Fear is #2 – you may recall that I discussed this at length in a previous post. Being aware of and channeling our anger is a critical part of emotional self-management. Sadness is a distant third emotion to manage. It is important, but not nearly as damaging as anger and fear.

Before working with my therapist, I didn’t recognize how angry I was all the time. And I was pretty harsh when it came to my anger. I never hit or choked anyone but I did use my words to give a punch or a jab whenever I was provoked. What I thought at the time were funny comments or playful jabs, were in reality very mean-spirited comments that were quite hurtful to people. I am surprised my career survived at all given how unpolished I was.

Anger is Power!

Anger is Power! We can channel our anger and use that power to fire us up. The power anger generates can move us toward our goals. We just need to manage the anger.

Managing the anger means that we don’t hit or choke people. We also need to make sure we are not shouting or yelling at people, slamming doors, or making sarcastic comment. Otherwise, instead of firing us up, that anger is going to get us fired. In today’s highly sensitive HR environment, we need to be careful we don’t respond emotionally – like with an angry outburst – and wind up saying something that lands us in trouble. We can’t afford to be seen as the guy or girl with a chip on their shoulder.

Even if we don’t have some sort of incident that can lead to firing, we have to be careful that we don’t come across as angry or mean-spirited. I have a good friend named Don that I met when working on the QNEDS project. At the start of a large program, he was called “abrasive” by a project leader from another team and it took him a long time to lose that label. He is a great friend and an excellent project manager and leader. Unfortunately, it took him a long-time to lose the label of abrasive outside the circle of people who worked closely with him and knew him well.

Do you have an anger related story to share? I'd like to hear about it

Cheers!

Anthony

EQ Research - Surveys Underway Now

Anthony Mersino — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:33:41 -0600

I am honored that recently several different individuals have contacted me about research projects being conducted on emotional intelligence and project managment or leadership. There are currently six different studies on these topics and I am excited about the findings that will come from this work. Some of the research has been completed and the findings will be made available here on this blog in the near future. Other studies are just getting underway or are in the survey phase.

It is that second group of researchers that could use your support as their surveys get underway. This is where you get a chance to participate, to learn more about yourself, and to get insights into how you compare with your peers. So I would like to invite you (even challenge you) to participate in the following two studies that are currently underway.

#1 - Emotional Intelligence and Transformational Leadership for Project Managers

The research study focuses on identifying the relationship between Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Transformational Leadership for Project Managers. The outcome of this research will address the knowledge gap that exists around the relationship between our emotions and the type of leadership we exercise in our work place and our projects. The survey is currently active – please visit the following link to participate: http://www.emotionsandleadership.com

Researcher: Dereje Tessema, PMP, CFEA, dereje.tessema@waldenu.edu

#2 - Emotional Intelligence, transactional, transformational, and laissez-faire leadership within a virtual team environment of IS project managers.

In today’s information systems (IS) environment, the projects become intricate making the project managers as change leaders instead of task masters. Despite the rich literature on management and leadership, the current project management framework does not underscore the importance of project leadership for success. Besides, the project manager’s role is further compounded in the virtual team structures enabled by collaboration tools like video and telephone conferences, Internet messenger (IM), email, and online meetings. Therefore, this study attempts to evaluate the relationship of the various dimensions of emotional intelligence and the laissez-faire, transactional, and transformational leadership styles of project managers.

This survey is currently active. If you hold the PMP certification and work in the IS field with virtual teams, Sriram would very much appreciate it if you would take the survey at: http://www17.brinkster.com/shreesundar/survey

Researcher: Sriram Rajagopalan, PMP, sundarinusa@yahoo.com

I am going to be posting more about the other research projects in the very near future. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Cheers!

Anthony

Go for Personal Satisfaction, not Comfort!

Anthony Mersino — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:55:13 -0600

This post is one of the first in a new series that I call "Soft Skills for Hard Time; How to be Your Best When the Economy is a Mess". My goal is to get you to appreciate that your security comes from you and you can increase your security and value to the marketplace by investing in your soft skills.

Given the choice, many of us orient to comfort as a primary objective. Our natural tendency is to try to make ourselves comfortable. This is counter to what is actually good for us for our own growth and our own long term job security.

This post is very closely related to my previous (The Sum of All Fears = Stunted Growth). As mentioned in that previous item, I have found that I grew the most when I pushed through my fear or put myself in tough situations. Conversely, when I was comfortable in a job, such as at IBM, I was not learning and growing. And more importantly, not adding as much value to my customers.

So I have learned that for me, feelings of comfort and familiarity are not desirable, in fact, they are dangerous to my career. That is one of the reasons that I grew to love project management so much – projects have a beginning and an end. Even long projects will come to an end and I will need to seek out something new.

Think about what happened with Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars movie. Was he living up to his potential on that remote planet with his Aunt and Uncle? No; he was destined to be a star figher and a Jedi Knight. But what did it take for him to leave his sleepy home planet and join the resistance? He was forced to do this when his enemies killed his family and burned his home. They had essentially burned his boats behind him leaving him little choice but to move forward, out of his comfort zone.

A parallel for me is when I left very comfortable consulting positions because I recognized that I was no longer being challenged. I have done this three times in the last six years. In two cases, I even left those comfortable PM consulting engagements without having another engagement lined up! I literally left the projects without having another job. Here is the irony - in both of these cases, the very next opportunity I landed were the best two opportunities of my career. These two projects remain the highlights of my career and my resume. If I hadn’t quit the comfortable jobs, I would not have landed either of these great projects. This was essentially burning my boats behind me – quitting these jobs without having an alternative.

The choice is obvious then if you want to grow as a project manager and a leader and to become more valuable to your employer and customers. You need to stop seeking comfort. You may even need to push yourself out of your comfort zone even to the point where you are burning your boats boats behind you (though stopping short of killing your family of course).

What is it you are most afraid of losing right now? Do you have a comfortable management position with a safe and stable company? I have come to believe that our security comes from our capabilities and our resume, not from our employers or our stock accounts. Your comfortable position with a large stable company may actually put you more at risk than those of us who are uncomfortable on a daily basis on our consulting engagements.

You may have heard of the list of 100 Lessons Learned for Project Managers that was written by Jerry Madden, former Flight Director of the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center. In his list of 100 lessons, Madden makes the following point about comfortable project managers:

“A comfortable project manager is one waiting for his next assignment or one on the verge of failure. Security is not normal to project management.”

Instead of seeking comfort, we should seek our own satisfaction. In every situation, we should be monitoring our own level of satisfaction and using that as an internal gauge for whether we are doing the right thing. My mentor Rich Blue calls this going for our 100% satisfaction. If you seek to get 100% satisfaction out of every meeting, presentation, project assignment, and workshop, you won’t have to worry about feeling comfortable. Being satisfied is a higher value than being comfortable.

Action Steps:

Evaluate, on a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable you are in your current position? Is your comfort justified? What is the cost?
On that same scale, what is your level of satisfaction with your current job?
What are the boats that you need to burn? What is it that you have that keeps you from going for more?

Cheers!

Anthony

The Sum of All Fears = Stunted Growth

Anthony Mersino — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:57:36 -0600

One thing that can shut many of us down or prevent us from reaching our goals is fear. When I talk to people about the goals and aspirations they have for their lives, I often hear rationalization about why they can or cannot do specific things. I can tell that many times people are just afraid.

I watched the first Star Wars movie over the holidays. You may recall the part when Luke Skywalker found out that his family had been killed. In the movie, he didn’t let that news shut him down, even though that would have been easy. It would have been easy for him to think that because his family had been killed, that he was at risk. Instead of hiding out somewhere in fear, he pushed through his fear and went on to become a star fighter and Jedi Knight.

Looking back on my career, I realize that most of my growth took place when I was afraid. I can recall going in to work and being afraid of failing. Or being afraid that I would not know what I was doing or that others would realize that I didn’t know what I was doing. These were the times when I grew the most in terms of my experience and development.

When I was in high school, my best friend’s name was Wes. Wes was the class president. He was funny, popular, and he got along with everyone. I remember every year that he did something that I thought was crazy – he was a volunteer cheerleader for the (girls) powderpuff football game. The powderpuff cheerleaders would dress up with wigs and makeup and go through some pretty silly cheers. I thought it was crazy and a bit dangerous to dress up and make a fool of himself, but Wes seemed to enjoy it. He used to ask me to join him but I never dared to push through my fear and take the risk.

Fast forward to my first job out of college as a young engineer at IBM in 1985. I remember that there was another engineer named Jeff that had been hired about a year before me. He was considered the golden boy and in his first year he had really impressed our management team. I recall that as assignments were doled out, he jumped at all the new ones and then he quickly succeeded with them. In contrast to this, I never volunteered for new assignments. Like my experience with the cheerleading, I wasn’t anxious to jump in – frankly I was afraid.

My fear cost me. I was at IBM nearly 10 years. During that time, my career progressed, but not as fast as I would have liked. My fear held me back from taking risks and that slowed my progress. Looking back, the best thing I did at IBM was when I quit in 1993.

Now that I am an independent consultant, I recognize I have no choice but to push through my fear and take risks. I recently volunteered to take on six client projects that were in trouble. I didn’t really know the domain, nor did I fully appreciate how badly these projects were failing. And yes I was afraid. But I now know that I need to be willing to take on risks if I am going to add value to my clients. I have also learned that most of the fear I feel is unwarranted.

If you were to be completely honest right now, I believe that many of you could identify at least one goal or aspiration that you are not pursuing because of fear. I want you to encourage you to make friends with fear; to understand what it is that makes you afraid, and to evaluate the cost of that fear on your life.

Courage is not the absence of fear, it is when we choose to act in spite of the fear that we feel. If you want to grow, you have to push through fear and take some risks.

Action Steps:

Look back over the last 5 years of your life and identify when you took a risk. What was the result? What did you learn?
What is the cost in your life right now of your fear? What could you achieve by pushing through your fear?

Cheers!

Anthony

Another Take on Lonely, Scared and Bitter

Anthony Mersino — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 09:46:28 -0600

Seth's Blog never fails to shift my perspective. In his recent post titled Lonely, Scared and Bitter, he said 1000 words in a picture.

Here is my version of Seth's picture that better captures (IMHO) how people are viewing the current economic situation.

Where would you put yourself in this matrix? How is that working for you? What would you need to change to be more creative, generous, and optimistic? How can I support you to get there?

That last question has been my focus for the last month or so. I'm working on some new material for some upcoming speaking engagements, Soft Skills for Hard Times; How to Be Your Best When the Economy is a Mess. Look for more information here or see my website for upcoming events near you.

Cheers! Anthony

Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh

Anthony Mersino — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 07:28:37 -0600

I have to say that I really appreciate my current boss. And some of my key team members. You know why? They make me laugh.

The ability to make others laugh is a rare and valuable commodity. I have never been more appreciative of this than lately in the zaniness of the real estate and stock market meltdowns and the crumbling of venerable financial institutions. Someone who can see humor in the situation or create fun when others are getting tense provides sustaining value and a welcome relief.

I talked about the importance of appropriate humor as a way to manage our emotions in my book. It is a great way to reduce your stress levels which is a key to emotional self-management. It is also helpful for building relationships with others when you show that you don't take yourself too seriously and are able to laugh along with others. So it helps with relationship management as well. Both self-management and relationship management are key competencies in the EQ framework for project management.

Do you encourage humor on your projects? Have you enrolled someone on your project team to be responsible for humor? Do you have someone in charge of making other laugh? Have you made it part of their job description? Perhaps you should think about it.

On the flip side, do you have people on your team who cannot laugh? Do you have people that think it would be best to eliminate humor from the workplace? I had someone like this recently and I realized just how poisonous that one individual was to my entire team. This particular individual's fear and anger prevented them from being able to laugh and in the process, they impacted the entire team. Lack of sense of humor is not something you can fire someone for but perhaps you can find ways to get that person on board someone else’s team (hopefully a competitor). Either way, it's best if you can prevent people like this from killing the spirit of fun and enjoyment of everyone else on the team.

I think this is important enough for me to make part of the screening process for new hires or when I am staffing up a new team. That is, I need to figure out if the candidate has a sense of humor. I need this attribute in the members of the team. Don't get me wrong - I need people who are dead serious about their work and the success of the project or program. And they also need the ability to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously.

Happy holidays!

Anthony

[Apple – (Steve Jobs) = Dell]

Anthony Mersino — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:53:23 -0600

I don’t normally follow the market too closely but recently noticed that the value of my Apple stock was declining faster than the overall market. Analysts have speculated that concerns over Steve Job’s health and lack of viable successor have caused the decline. The thinking goes like this: with Jobs, Apple is able to produce hot-selling products, such as the MacBook, that sell for 2X what competitors like Dell are able to charge. Without Jobs, Apple’s products (and stock value) are on par with Dell’s.

If the analysts are correct about the reasons for the drop in stock value, the market has placed the cost of the lack of viable succession plan for Steve Job’s in the range of $5B to $8B. Forks, that is a lot of iPhones and iPods.

The articles I read reminded me of the value of succession planning for project managers and other leaders. Do you have a viable succession plan? Do you recognize the cost to you and your team if you don’t? If you are the one indispensable part of your team, then you limit the team’s ability to take on new challenges. You have also limited your ability to take on new challenges.

For those of you who do not have a succession plan, my guess is that you are scared. I know for me, I like to be perceived as the guy who gets it done. My dark secret is that I fantasize about being so important and valuable to the team that they cannot live without me. I want nothing more than to hear, “we couldn’t do it without you Anthony”, or, “you are the key to our success”. This line of thinking believes that if someone else could step into my shoes, then I must not be very valuable.

Of course, that is really just my ego talking and that would be a very foolhardy approach. I probably acted that way when I was in the early part of my career, but now I know better. I don’t want to be the critical linchpin of the team. What I want is to create the most effective team possible and turn them loose to achieve the goals of my customers. In the process, I want them to grow in their abilities and I want to continue to grow as a project manager and leader.

I think I am doing a pretty good job of succession planning. For example, I have been leading a large IT program since June of this year. Two weeks ago, I offered to take on a leadership role for two troubled projects and I transitioned the IT program to my deputy. We made the transition in a week with very little formal communication.

I think the reason for the smooth transition was that we had prepared for this. I had delegated a large share of the project management and leadership responsibilities to him. I let him lead; rather, I expected him to lead and supported him to step up to leadership in various areas. He ran the daily standup calls. He ran the overall program schedule. And he was my backup when I was not in the office. Even though he was my subordinate, he was able to quickly step up to overall leadership for the program because we had shared the leadership and program management roles.

I challenge you to pause and to evaluate your own succession planning. Are you grooming the team under you so that one or more of them can take over for you? Are you delegating work, giving them assignments, and assessing their strengths and weaknesses on a regular basis?

If you are not, evaluate what it is that you fear. Do you fear being replaceable or being replaced? Do you fear not being perceived as valuable? The cost to you and your team may not be in the billions of dollars, but I guarantee you that it is pretty high.

Cheers!

Anthony

Fear, Procrastination, and Failure

Anthony Mersino — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 22:09:50 -0600

I had a reaction to something I read on Seth Godin’s blog regarding fear. (BTW, it’s great to see Seth writing anything about emotions!) In his post set the agenda by showing up first, Seth wrote about the importance of acting early and how our fear can impact that.

What I keyed in on was the relationship between fear, our behavior when we are scared, and how that can lead to failure. Fear can keep us from acting early; it can also cause us to procrastinate, wait till the last moment, or not act at all. Our fear of failing can actually cause us to do just that.

I saw this quite clearly recently in my own behavior. I had an important interview to land a long term consulting engagement. I was excited about the opportunity and frankly, I wanted the position. But I was scared. And unfortunately for me, I was not aware enough at the time (i.e. self-aware) to appreciate how afraid I was.

My fear was not so much about the opportunity as about the interview. I was so excited about the engagement that I was afraid I would blow it, or that somehow my GREAT DESIRE for this opportunity would be apparent.

So what did I do? Well, I let my fear nearly cause the exact thing I was worried about. I procrastinated, I stalled, and didn’t get ready on time. I left my house late. And I arrived 15 minutes late for the interview. My fear of blowing it caused me to stall and arrive late, which nearly cost me the position.

The lesson here is that we need to pay attention to our fear and not let it shut us down or sabotage us. I’m more in touch with my fear than I have been over the course of my life. But I still recognize that there are situations where I go unconscious and let my fear shut me down.

What I need is to do a better job of catching myself when I am afraid. Sometimes simply naming the fear is enough to take the energy out. It also helps me to determine what my fear is telling me. In the case of the interview, it was telling me that it was important to me. Using the fear as information is the essence of emotional self-management.

In this economic climate, we each need to be playing at the top of our game. We need to see all the opportunities that exist. We need to recognize when we are afraid and determine what our fear is trying to tell us. Our fear may be trying to tell us that we are making a mistake or that we don’t have enough information.

The good news is that I am making some progress. Two weeks ago I recognized that there was another opportunity with this same client to help two other projects that were in trouble. It was scary to do so; frankly I was much more comfortable staying in my current role of managing one large program. But I’ve come to appreciate that recovery of failing projects is the area where I do my best work. And here were two that were in trouble. So I pushed through my fear and offered to help these projects. Yes it was scary, but so is unemployment!

I’d love to hear your stories about how fear has impacted you and your decisions. When is this most likely to happen? Do you ever stall or procrastinate and miss opportunities? What are you missing out on right now?

Cheers!
Anthony

Thanksgiving is not a Project Manager's Holiday

Anthony Mersino — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:27:24 -0600

Thanksgiving is a great holiday. I love all the wonderful food and the enjoyment of family and friends without the obligation of gift giving. (As Seth Godin wrote, no gifts, no guilt, no doctrine.) Most of us get a 4-day weekend away from work. But it is not a holiday for project managers. In fact, it may be the most stressful holiday a PM can experience.

First of all, you need some planning and organizational skills to pull off a good Thanksgiving event. Thanksgiving is the superbowl of holidays in that it demands that you work in advance to make the day a success. You have to plan out the attendees, the menu, the agenda, and even the seating chart. You have to create a menu and then use that to create a master bill of materials for shopping and a cooking schedule. You have to shop ahead of time and prepare some dishes days in advance. How many of us have a story about waking up to a frozen turkey on Thanksgiving morning and doing everything short of microwaving it to make sure dinner was not delayed for hours? We've learned to develop contingency plans for major risks like this.

Project managers also tend to be control freaks. We want to make sure we control the event to get just the perfect outcome. So we are challenged when we rely on others to make the day a success or when we have to give up control to others. For the most controlling of control freaks, we choose to take on the entire event ourselves. We want perfect and we don't want to put the fate of our event in the hands of others. So we do it all ourselves. We may wind up cooking all day and not really enjoying either the meal or being in relationship with others.

Our desired to control can also play out when we visit others for Thanksgiving. In fact, showing up for Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's house can be more stressful than hosting Thanksgiving at our own. Should I eat beforehand because I never know when they are going to serve dinner and I fear starving to death? What is the appropriate dish to add to the many that will already be there? How will I make my dish stand out from the others, so that I can look good? Are they going to burn the dinner rolls again this year or have the football game blaring so loud that nobody can talk?

The worst part for project manager is seeing others do project management so poorly. Like not properly planning for the finish-finish dependency on the various cooked items with the turkey. Or not planning for enough chairs around the table. Or forgetting to plan out the menu to avoid the last minute trips to the store. Good project managers are so accustomed to structure and organization that we erroneously believe we need to apply this thinking to Thanksgiving. Bringing in Thanksgiving dinner on schedule and budget may not be necessary or even desirable.

Take for example the argument my wife and I nearly always have about how to accomplish a group of tasks. As a project manager, I recognize that the most efficient use of time and resources is to divide up the tasks and assign them individually so that many tasks can be done in parallel. This runs me afoul of my wife's approach which is to do things as a group, which of course, is just not very efficient. When she proposes that we all work together as a team to do this or that, I just want to scream at her about how dumb that is and how much better it would be to divide and conquer.

Which brings me back to the reason I wrote this post. Thanksgiving is not a holiday that you need to project manage. Yes the day could benefit from some basic planning and organization concepts, but, for the most part it doesn't require any of that. You don't need to labor over a plan and a task list worthy of a D-day invasion, you don't need to have bi-weekly conference calls with your family members and other stakeholders, you don't need to have the day scripted and timed. Instead, you could ad lib, be spontaneous, and invite others to pitch in and help when and where it is needed.

I am actually at my best at Thanksgiving when I take a break from those key PM skills to be a human, to engage with those around me, and to be in relationship. With plenty of therapy and some coaching from my wife, I have come to appreciate that even as a project manager, I can let go a little bit and just enjoy Thanksgiving for what it is. I have come to expect that I will be sent out on the last minute shopping trip on Thursday afternoon but I will do it in community with my brother-in-law. In fact, this excursion has become a part of our holiday ritual and we joke around with the other men that we see out at the supermarket on that trip.

I relax now and don't try to control the food as it is cooking or worry about whether they started the green beans too early or if the dinner rolls are going to burn. I strive to be a good team player; supportive without being controlling. And I enjoy doing the unglamorous work of cleaning up the dishes afterwards.

I recognized how far I had come this year when I was able to laugh when my two-year neice smashed her plate of food on the floor right behind me during dinner. Life is too short to freak out over that type of thing. Instead, I am reminded of how grateful I am to have my health, my family, and a bounty of resources.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Anthony