tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367655042009-07-02T08:03:36.258-05:00Discussion for parents in intact homes who have chosen to (or wish to) equally shared in breadwinning, childraising, housework and recreation time.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.comBlogger323125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-35900438696451597762009-06-30T20:42:00.005-05:002009-07-01T19:44:28.071-05:00

Sometimes it seems like we're so far from a world where equally shared parenting is commonplace. We're getting there, little by little, but women are still considered the default nurturers and most men's identities are still wrapped up primarily in their ability to provide financially for their families. So it is good to step back every so often and realize how very far we've actually come in a

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-22669924358792678432009-06-28T20:16:00.003-05:002009-06-29T19:36:01.785-05:00

We often hear stories about market trends, sociological studies, or government programs aimed at addressing the current workplace and how it deals with work/life balance issues. However, I found it quite interesting to get a glimpse recently at how individuals are making an impact in this arena. A fellow ESP parent shared with me the following e-mail exchange with her CEO.Employee: I wanted to

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-46366983094734135482009-06-21T20:41:00.000-05:002009-06-21T20:26:13.055-05:00

Here we are - Father's Day! The national spotlight is on Dad at the grill, Dad getting his 100th new tie, Dad opening up his homemade cards. And, with a growing sense of authenticity, Dad simply being recognized and celebrated for his hands-on, equal status to Mom. We aren't completely there yet, of course, but the drumbeat of change is getting louder by the year. Fatherhood is becoming

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-69686257014036474762009-06-15T19:27:00.002-05:002009-06-15T20:03:52.575-05:00

Marc and I, and the kids, are on the cover of our local Boston parents paper this month - Parents + Kids. It has been fun getting calls and emails from friends who picked up the paper and then realized they knew the people on the front! Inside is a nice article about equally shared parenting (you can read an online version of the story here, with less photos).Meanwhile, we've been busy writing. I

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-32679551026912802282009-06-07T19:53:00.005-05:002009-06-07T21:21:12.007-05:00

I recently came across a Salon.com interview with Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, the authors of Womenomics: Write Your Own Rules for Success. The premise of this just-released book is that highly successful women should stop gunning for top-level careers to create a more balanced existence.I haven't read the book. But, based on what I can glean from this interview and other web discussions, I'm

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-14448022459348642462009-05-28T20:06:00.009-05:002009-05-28T21:43:11.470-05:00

Marc is making his solo debut today as a guest blogger over at Motherlode. I'm excited about his post because I think it brings up a really sneaky barrier to equal partnership. Marc's topic is about the ways in which 'appreciation' can keep us unequal. It is an expansion on the blog post he did earlier right here.But as might be expected, many of the commenters have interpreted his message as

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-9268794689086416692009-05-27T19:52:00.003-05:002009-05-27T21:00:54.837-05:00

Wednesday's Motherlode was a particularly enjoyable read for me. Jeremy Adam Smith is one of my favorite Dad voices around and he was featured in a two-part Q&A with Lisa Belkin. The topics included: gender patterns at home, how has the father role changed in recent generations, barriers to male caregiving, and how men talk about parenting differently than women. This last point was my favorite,

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-83373879393676123172009-05-21T19:37:00.002-05:002009-05-21T20:05:06.275-05:00

Very interesting column in the Wall Street Journal this week by work/family journalist, Sue Shellenbarger. It profiles a few families that have cut back on outside childcare to save money in tough economic times, and have put a kind of ESP in place. I say 'a kind of ESP' because these families have got the equality piece right, but they've not quite embraced the other foundational goal of this

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-27290463414610417792009-05-15T20:07:00.002-05:002009-05-15T20:37:37.611-05:00

Marc and I had the pleasure of being guests on the podcast of Amy Tiemann, aka Mojo Mom, this week. Amy is the author of the newly published book Mojo Mom: Nurturing Yourself While Raising a Family and a terrific parent-blogger/writer we've come to know over the past three years. We had been Amy's podcast guests once in the past, and it was fun to return to her show for a more in-depth

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-60719816951995125932009-05-12T21:08:00.006-05:002009-05-13T07:58:07.215-05:00

Marc and I have an ongoing battle (lest you think we never fight) about quality. It usually manifests as me insisting on the best of the best when planning for a party - the most bountiful spread, the highest quality ingredients, etc. Marc then automatically takes a stand against my wishes, often going overboard in his assertions that a few crumbs scraped off the floor will be perfectly adequate

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-87329224628733731732009-05-07T19:55:00.004-05:002009-05-07T21:25:10.118-05:00

I have a problem with appreciation. Occasionally I hear well-intentioned parents suggest that the best way to get your partner to do more around the house is to shower them with appreciation when they perform a certain task. At first glance it seems like this is a better option than the "stick" approach of nagging, complaining and the like but something still doesn't fit for me.Today was a

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-66343328178108730812009-05-04T19:05:00.004-05:002009-05-05T21:22:06.239-05:00

Tuesday (that's tomorrow) will be a big day in the global ESP discussion! First up, journalist Sharon Jayson, who covered a bit about equally shared parenting recently after our presentation at the Council on Contemporary Families meeting, will be showcasing ESP in more depth in a feature article in USA Today. Sharon interviewed each of us for this piece, as well as two wonderful ESP couples

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-32617203991619656252009-04-29T19:49:00.002-05:002009-04-29T20:28:11.479-05:00

Over the last few years ESP has been covered in a variety of publications from magazines, newspapers, radio, blogs, and even TV. Truth be told, we have learned quite a bit from these varied perspectives but rarely has the piece caused us to laugh. However, back in December we found such a piece created by journalist, Russ Litten, for The Independent (UK) newspaper. It was one of a few articles

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-33531403775625949992009-04-27T20:21:00.003-05:002009-04-27T20:37:41.659-05:00

Here's a cute article by Paula Spencer in Parenting magazine about how she learned that her husband was a fully competent parent during her third pregnancy's medically-enforced week of bedrest. She starts out doubting he is able to handle the kids for more than a few hours, and he ends up blowing her theory out of the water in a big way.I look forward to the day when stories like this, however

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-3478538477134693202009-04-21T19:09:00.002-05:002009-04-21T20:14:43.338-05:00

Marc and I are just back from the fantastic Council on Contemporary Families annual conference in Chicago. It's been a whirlwind couple of days of connecting with the leaders in gender research - many of our most admired mentors and fore-parents in gender equality studies were there in the flesh, and we felt honored to be among them. Some of the highlights for us were finally meeting marriage

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-89536105345262003562009-04-13T19:47:00.003-05:002009-04-13T20:42:45.036-05:00

After a number of months with our heads down working on our manuscript, it was a joy to get the opportunity to speak out about ESP at a conference offered by Yale Law School on March 27th and 28th. Amy and I were speakers, along with Francine Deutsch and Kathleen Gerson, discussing Parenthood and Gender Roles. Here is the recap of the session (Part V) along with a full Quicktime video. If you

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-75570789806932905802009-04-07T20:10:00.002-05:002009-04-07T20:54:49.034-05:00

I'm not sure if all the recent discussion of breastfeeding had anything to do with it, but the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine, the La Leche League International, the International Lactation Consultant Association and the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action have gotten together to issue an official statement entitled Breastfeeding and the Equal Sharing of Responsibilities Between Women and

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-6107718706256164132009-03-31T19:53:00.002-05:002009-03-31T20:54:01.479-05:00

I just finished reading the new book Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have It All by Sharing It All by Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober. Sharon (former managing director at Goldman Sachs) and Joanna (managing director of a private equity firm) are two moms with a strong message about equal sharing as a means to juggling work and family, and their book speaks to many working mothers who

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-55086905903465302072009-03-26T19:53:00.004-05:002009-03-26T21:42:16.415-05:00

Sometimes I catch myself being turned off by talk of gender equality. Maybe it's just my mood or perhaps my frustration at the lack of progress toward this goal, but lately I'm starting to understand some of our critics when they say, "Why do we care so much about being equal?" OK, it's time to come clean...we don't!Well, let me clarify. I have never had much interest in convincing couples

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-27613317820623983092009-03-20T20:23:00.004-05:002009-03-20T20:53:40.805-05:00

Interesting Domestic Disturbances column today. Judith Warner tackles the idea that the recession has led to SAHMs complaining about having less disposable income and laid-off power career fathers sitting around like slugs instead of embracing the nurturing duties at home. Judith isn't buying this scenario - one that she says has been given way too much attention in the media. It may be true (or

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-71126888460904078552009-03-16T20:54:00.003-05:002009-03-17T07:49:06.641-05:00

Since there are so many ways to be equal partners, we don't often dive into the specifics of any one detail of parenting. We prefer to focus on the building blocks and philosophies behind creating an ESP lifestyle. However, in the recent flurry of news around breast-feeding we were honored to weigh in on the NY Times online column, Motherlode, as to how an ESP-minded couple might deal with the

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-15364442308979679172009-03-13T19:59:00.003-05:002009-03-13T20:44:30.287-05:00

I just finished reading an article entitled 'The Case Against Breastfeeding' in the Atlantic. And although I'm by myself in my quiet kitchen (the kids are asleep and Marc is away for a few days), I want to stand up and applaud. Bravo to journalist Hanna Rosin!Lest any of you get too uncomfortable, I breastfed both M and T just as any new mother is bound to do in this day and age in our culture. I

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-18598250180909844402009-03-12T19:50:00.004-05:002009-03-12T20:02:35.088-05:00

President Obama announced that he has established a new White House Council on Women and Girls. This mission of this new committee is "to provide a coordinated federal response to the challenges confronted by women and girls and to ensure that all Cabinet and Cabinet-level agencies consider how their policies and programs impact women and families." Issues such as equal pay, family leave, and

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-71970434728198129712009-03-06T20:35:00.010-05:002009-03-06T21:38:14.034-05:00

Today, we have the pleasure of being the landing place for Liz Funk's Supergirls Speak Out blog tour! This new book, subtitled 'Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls,' is a fascinating look at young women who turn themselves inside out to be perfect at everything - their looks, their grades, their extracurricular resumes, their social status. What does this have to do with equally

Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02303169124097797003noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36765504.post-69121001676448521522009-03-03T20:18:00.003-05:002009-03-03T20:57:50.119-05:00

A new study was released online today in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry that examines the effect of co-parenting on the behavior of hard-to-manage 4-year olds. Ninety-two sets of parents were videotaped interacting with their children for 1.5 hours, while researchers judged the quality of their relationship - as a cooperative 'co-parenting' one vs a critical or one-up one. The

Marchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07257332859416635116noreply@blogger.com1