Erase Negativity and the book

Not for all the peppermint tea in Arizona

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 22:54:00 +0000

Not for all the peppermint tea in Arizona

Ten Reasons to Erase Negativity and Embrace a More Positive Outlook

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 15:43:00 +0000

Ten Reasons to Erase Negativity and Embrace a More Positive Outlook

Self Help Authors Offer Discount on E-Book on Erasing Negativity

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:52:00 +0000

Self Help Authors Offer Discount on E-Book on Erasing Negativity

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:51:00 +0000

Hanging clothes out to dry saves money and energy. This isn't a new concept. It was a regular routine in my childhood neighborhood.

When our family moved from Chicago to Arizona we left a few appliances behind. One item was the clothes dryer. My father promised to replace it. In the meantime mom could use the backyard clothesline. However, the dryer never materialized. Mom preferred using the clothesline.

I, on the other hand, enjoy my creature comforts. But my environmentally-conscious spouse, CB, thinks clothes dryers are energy hogs. At first, the suggestion was to take the soggiest items (towels and jeans) and find a place in the garage for them to hang out. I had shirts hanging (and dropping) from hangers, jeans lopped over the wooden kayak in the garage, and socks dripping all over the place. Finally, I had it. I told CB that if I was going to hang the laundry, I needed a clothesline.

Before I could say, Maytag, CB installed a retractable clothesline. Begrudgingly I used it. Then a strange thing happened. I began to enjoy it. I heard the birds chirp and caught a glimpse of fluffy clouds. As I hooked the clothes on the line I remembered how my mom taught me to hang things up so it wouldn't put clothes pin creases in the clothes. I also had a flashback when I was a young mother hanging out baby shirts, dresses and socks.

I used cloth diapers for my first daughter, Alicia. When I hung out her diapers I found it refreshing to watch the white rectangles waft in the breeze. It was soothing to pin diaper after diaper on the line and not have to worry about anything - except maybe a dust storm. Who wants dusty diapers? But that was rarely an issue. A couple of hours later it would be time to gather up the clothes. Sometimes I would put Alicia in the laundry basket and let the diapers fall around her. At times she would play peek a boo. Other times she would just toddle around in the grass while I hung out the next batch of clothes.

Now my laundry items have changed. I smile as I straighten out the sleeve of one of CB's favorite shirts. Next, I match the socks and I think about my deceased parents. It's been almost 50 years since they moved the family out west. In their minds, Arizona was the perfect place to live because their children could play outside and enjoy fresh air and sunshine all year round. Ironically, this is true when I hang out the clothes. For a few minutes I enjoy the sun, the breeze and the satisfaction of making a greener choice. I guess mom knew what she was doing after all.

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:50:00 +0000

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Are You Hijacking Your Own Happiness?

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 20 Sep 2020 19:56:00 +0000

When I think about the importance of gratitude a popular refrain from Joni Mitchell’s hit, Big Yellow Taxi comes to mind.

“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.”

The song has been covered by numerous bands throughout the years and its message is as relevant now as ever. Some consider it a protest song against corporate greed and a wake-up call to protect the environment. I embrace that message, but I also see the song as a call to action to appreciate what we have in our lives.

With the restrictions to prevent the spread of COVID-19 many of us can’t help but resent “our new normal” that includes the loss of jobs, the cancellation of life events, public gatherings and social activities, as well as the mandatory wearing of face masks. Life as we once knew it has changed.

However, focusing on what we have lost does not improve our situation.

There is a Buddhist story with an excerpt about a man “who spends night and day counting his neighbor’s wealth but gains not even half a coin.”

The overall message is about the futility of looking outside of one’s self to find happiness, but I think that is a tough concept for most of us. An easier message that I think more of us can identify with is that focusing on what we don’t have leaves us feeling angry, envious and unfulfilled.

The anecdote is to have an attitude of gratitude and turn our attention to the many blessings we have in our lives.

I try to start my mornings and evening by reciting a list of what I am thankful for. This can be about the people in my life (including those who have passed away) to basic needs such as a roof over my head or enough food to eat. Even being able to wake up and see a new day is a huge benefit.

Sometimes my appreciation extends to more mundane conveniences.

I recently returned from a camping trip with my spouse, CB. It was nice to see more than the landscape outside of my immediate neighborhood. Since the pandemic my ventures have been limited to my immediate neighborhood. I haven’t even been to a grocery store since March of 2020. I was looking forward to a change in my surroundings – even if it meant boon-docking in a small, Little Guy trailer.

In spite of a t-shirt that proclaims the opposite, I’m not a happy camper. I love the outdoors, but camping is a messy business. Even the easiest tasks are work. I haul water, cook outside, relieve myself in a bucket and have limited access to a shower. When I’m in a bad mood I consider it torture with a stunning view.

There are, however, a few silver linings.

The nighttime sky with its incredible “starscape” is breathtaking. Daytime strolls present a variety of magnificent trees, plants, birds and other wildlife that help me feel more connected to nature. When I return home I have a new appreciation for even the most ordinary things. I rejoice in my first hot shower. I give my washing machine a loving pat on its enamel lid as I throw my smelly clothing into its basin. And the sound of a flushing toilet is like music to my ears.

I can take a sigh of relief. I am home again.

Truth be told, we ALL have a lot to be thankful for. I have found (through trial and error and a lot of research) that transforming an attitude from grouchy to appreciative is a matter of focus. The trick is to make a concerted, ongoing effort away from the things that we find upsetting to those that bring us joy.

If you don’t think you have anything to be grateful for, you might need to expand your world view a bit. For instance, those who are perusing this blog can be thankful to have a phone or computer to access this message. Even having the ability to read is a gift that is not enjoyed by some.

This appreciative effort extends to humankind. Even people we never meet have helped us in countless ways. They grow the food we eat and provide essential goods and services we depend on every day. It is essential we look beyond our own needs and appreciate our connections with others. To ignore this humanistic concept gives rise to a society suffocating in isolation, mistrust, hostility and apathy.

We are so much better than that.

The good news is it is not too late. The proverbial “big yellow taxi” in Joni Mitchell’s song (that can be symbolic of our negativity) can take a positive detour toward a happier, more helpful direction. We can start by appreciating things now and not wait until it’s gone.

For more direction on how to lead a happier life, please check out my book, Erase Negativity, on Amazon, or contact me at Markspr@cox.net to order an autographed copy.

What Happened to Prunes?

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Tue, 08 Sep 2020 20:33:00 +0000

I‘m a creature of habit – particularly at breakfast. Unlike lunch and dinner where I don’t want to eat the same thing two days in a row, I’m more than happy to eat the same thing for breakfast EVERY DAY.

But one day things changed. My younger sister, Tina, was over when I was eating my breakfast. She laughed at my prunes. She wasn’t the first person to make fun of the wrinkled fruit. My daughter, Brittany, thought it was quite funny that prunes resembled the desired after-effect that eating the fruit was supposed to evoke. I could take the gentle ribbing from my child, but my sister’s laughter at the prunes (and the connotation that it was something “old” people ate) was too much for me.

I stopped eating prunes.

I recently had an appendectomy. Although my surgeon didn’t know why my appendix became inflamed, or why it would happen to someone with a healthy diet, I decided to take steps to keep things “moving”.

I made a commitment to drink more water, exercise more often, and eat prunes again.

The problem is I couldn’t find prunes in the store. I looked and looked and looked. However, my observant and more detailed-oriented spouse, CB, found the bagged fruit and plopped them in our Costco cart. I looked at the bag. It was labeled “sun sweet plums”.

All those years I was basing my search on the name “prunes” and bags of “plums” did not compute.

Now, I’m not stupid. I know prunes are dried plums. As a public relations and marketing professional I can understand the name change. Prunes have a bad image. The word “prune” can mean “to make a facial expression exhibiting ill temper or disgust.” People refer to old people, or other old things, as shriveled up old prunes. Plus people eat prunes when they are constipated. That is funny too (unless it happens to you and then it is a painfully unpleasant experience).

Plums, on the other hand, have a good reputation. People use the expression “plum” for referring to something of a superior or desireable kind, such as a financial bonus or "plum" position. Let’s not forget the nursery rhyme about little Jack Horner.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said 'What a good boy am I!'[1]

Now the poem is supposedly a satire with political overtones, but when I recited that nursery rhyme as a tot, no one explained that to me. All I knew is Jack stuck his grimy thumb in a pie, snagged a plum, and thought he pulled off some sort of heroic feat. Centuries later it left another subliminal message. Plums are good. Prunes are bad.

However, I must concede, prunes are funny. I remember back in 1967 I was watching television with my little brother, Terry. A commercial about prunes came on the air. It made us both laugh. It’s worth watching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRDLaSG6csA

But it also made me think. This ad was not only humorous; it was a great marketing campaign. Even as a grade-school-er, I was inspired by it. I thought that if my desire to be a sitcom writer didn’t pan out, I could make my way in society by making fun of fruit and vegetables. Who knew it would turn into a career in public relations and marketing?

But the story of the prunes took an unexpected turn for me. Rather than having food engineers get rid of the “wrinkles” as they promised in that funny commercial, the marketing folks decided to just change the name. Shakespeare may have had Juliet say, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." And that may be true. But when you change a bag of prunes to a bag of plums, you might confuse a few folks who are looking for prunes to repair their internal plumbing.

Not one to hold a grudge about the name change, I have decided to poke fun of things with a poem of my own.

My gut was full,

intestines stuck.

I looked for prunes

but no such luck.

The name had changed from prune to plum.

I saw it not, gee I feel dumb.

A lesson learned, I do implore,

“read the labels at the store”.

Both prunes and plums will help you go.

But if not careful you may not know

that a rose by another name might smell as sweet

Or be ignored and spell defeat.

[1] Opie and P. Opie, The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1951, 2nd edn., 1997), pp. 234–7.

What is the RX for Happiness for Healthcare Providers?

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 14:57:00 +0000

In honor of our healthcare providers I am posting an article I wrote a few years ago on how nurses can reduce negativity in trying times. This was written prior to COVID-19 and is even more true today than ever. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to share it with others.

For everyday tips on how to reduce negativity please check out my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. It's available in paperback on Amazon and the e-book is available on smashwords.com.

Nurses begin their shifts knowing they will face obstacles. They understand the dangers, so they take proper precautions.

For example, diligent handwashing prevents the spread of infection; proper lifting techniques can prevent injury. But "dangers" also lurk when humans interact. Therefore, classes on improving communication are a mainstay in hospitals to prevent verbal disasters. However, one of the most pernicious afflictions nurses face is an internal one - battling negativity.

Enormous workloads, shrinking staffs and the fear of making a life-threatening mistake are all contributing factors to stress, which can lead to pessimism. But having good justification for negativity does not improve the situation.

Fortunately, there are a few tips to create a happier work environment. However the cure is more like physical therapy than penicillin. Negativity is a learned habit. Erasing a gloomy outlook and replacing it with a positive alternative is a skill set nurses must cultivate.

Creating a Pleasant Workplace

Creating a pleasant workplace by modifying the behavior of others would be ideal. Unfortunately, that course of action rarely works.

If nurses want to reduce negativity at work, the process begins with them.

Once anti-negativity skills are mastered, nurses can serve as role models for others, which can create a surge of cheerfulness that ripples throughout the hospital or office.

The first steps to combat negativity are:

1. Recognize negativity has creeped its way into your life and is holding your happiness hostage;

2. Erase negative thoughts, speech and actions and replace them with more empowering and productive alternatives; and

3. Smile every day, even (and especially) when you do not want to.

Lest you think you only churn out happy musings, consider this statistic: the average person has 40,000-65,000 thoughts a day and a whopping 95 percent of those thoughts are negative. The good news is, even a little improvement can have lasting effects.

After recognizing pessimistic ponderings lurk within, the next step is to erase the undesirable thoughts with a positive alternative. An example might be about illness. Rather than saying, "I don't want to get sick," say "I enjoy vibrant health."

By repeating the positive message, eventually your brain will respond to the kinder choice and your immune system will be strengthened. There is evidence that not only do optimistic people enjoy better health, when they do get exposed to maladies such as the common cold, their bodies produce more antibodies.

Nasty speech directed at others can be replaced with a simple, "bless you." If you can bless people when they sneeze and spray germs, the same method can be used for poisonous words. A whispered "bless you" can ward off the eruption of a nasty remark. Many negative thoughts, speech and actions are automatic. To short circuit the default response, it helps to take a deep breath and imagine a serene setting before responding in an unkind way.

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Smiling is also a strong anecdote to grouchiness. It may sound simplistic, but studies have shown that a cornucopia of chemical reactions occur when a person smiles, whether or not the smile is sincere.² The goal is to present an authentic grin, but if you have to fake it until you make it, the results can be surprisingly effective.

Try smiling at your reflection in the mirror for one full minute before leaving the house. This works even when you don't want to smile because the irony of grinning when you're feeling crabby is usually enough to make even a curmudgeon snicker.

Avoiding Negativity

Something that is not worth smiling about is gossip. Lisa Hinojosa, RN, a nurse at Boulder Community Hospital in Boulder, CO, remarked that one of the most toxic forms of negativity is feeding the rumor mill.

"Gossip is a huge problem at work because the hospital is like a little town where everyone knows everyone else," said Hinojosa. "In addition to ruining reputations it is a distraction from our main goal, working as a team to take care of the patient.

"Malicious speech takes its toll. It is destructive and a major roadblock to a positive, joyful, fun and fulfilling experience at work. Even when everyone is getting along, if one negative or critical person walks in, the positive atmosphere can instantly turn sour. One person's negativity can ignite a chain reaction. Before you know it, even those who rarely gossip can get sucked in and agree with, and even add to the critical chatter. From there it spreads and fuels the fire of dissention - often beyond repair."

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One method to counteract gossip is to do what Hinojosa said she does - walk away. Gossip needs a friendly ear and mouth to spread. A braver tactic is to confront the gossiper and compassionately suggest a kinder topic. If gossiping is one of your weaknesses, try asking yourself a couple of questions before engaging in the verbal negativity:

· Is what I'm about to say hurtful in any way?

· What is my motivation for saying this?

· Is what I'm about to say coming from a place of love and respect, or a place of anger and cruelty

By asking yourself a few questions before you speak you can save yourself, and others, a lot of pain and grief. That is not to say that silence is always golden, particularly when it comes to patient care.

"One of the most common issues that leads to negativity in the workplace is feeling understaffed, which can also lead to increased fatigue in staff members," said Linda McFarland,

RN, a nurse at Angels Care Home Health in Cottonwood, AZ. "Most facilities use a staffing model to identify how many nurses should cover the number of patients in a given area. What these models do not take into account on a regular basis is the acuity of the patient."

In cases where patients are at risk, it is a nurse's duty to speak up. McFarland said organizations such as the American Nursing Association have been encouraging nurses to voice their concerns regarding patient safety, nurse fatigue, as well as working with hospital staff to ensure there are enough nurses on the floor to properly address the needs of all the patients - particularly those who need more time-intensive care.

According to the ANA website, "the national nursing organization advocates for the Registered Nurse Safe Staffing Act of 2010 (S. 3491/ H.R. 5527) that would hold hospitals accountable for the development and implementation of unit-by-unit staffing plans that ensure appropriate nurse staffing levels for quality patient care."

While there is no fail proof method to bring up patient safety concerns without some backlash, it is important to communicate with compassion and focus on a solution, rather than assigning blame, which creates further conflict.

There is no doubt nurses have a tough job. Patients are sick and in pain, some cranky physicians yell when nurses are forced to call them in the middle of the night, and life and death decisions need to be made every day. By using a few tips to reduce negativity on an ongoing basis, nurses can inject a little more optimism into the workplace, as well as make positive steps toward a happier, healthier life and career.

References
1. Why optimists enjoy better health. (May 2008). Harvard Health Publications. Retrieved Feb. 25, 2011 from the World Wide Web, http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/why-optimists-enjoy-better-health.
2. Dal Cero, M.A. (Apri 16, 2009). What a smile can do. Helium Psychology. Retrieved Feb. 25, 2011, from the World Wide Web, http://www.helium.com/items/1418154-what-a-smile-can-do.

Sally Marks is a motivational coach, speaker and the co-author of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. You can visit her website at http://www.erasenegativity.com/ or read her humorous blog at http://www.erasenegativity.blogspot.com/

Holiday Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 15 Dec 2018 19:22:00 +0000

It seems everyone likes a holiday classic this time of year, so here's one from a blog I wrote a few years ago.

We recently moved back to Arizona after spending nearly a year in Port Angeles, WA. On the trip back we snuck in front of a snow storm and skated through Los Angeles before a small earth quake hit. I always say a few extra prayers whenever I travel. I also concentrate on positive thoughts as much as possible and try to envision a protective shield of white light around the vehicle we are driving.

Sometimes it can be challenging to focus on positive events, especially when on the road. When folks are enclosed in the anonymity of their own cars and trucks, it seems it is easier to leave their brain and courtesy on their doorstep.

While it may SEEM true that crazy drivers outnumber their safe and courteous counterparts, it is merely an illusion. The problem is we are geared to dwell on the negative and ignore the happy and uneventful. We curse the driver who cuts us off, but quickly forget the kind folks who wave us into their lane ahead of them or slow down or change lanes to allow us to merge onto the freeway.

Years ago I remember a coworker, Don Powell, gave me his insights into merging safely on the road. He said when he was barreling down the street, if a driver turned on their turn signal and made eye contact in a tacit request to enter his lane, he always waved them on. If they tried to force their way in, he was not as kind.

I have found the same thing is true in life. When we show courtesy and kindness, we increase the chances someone will do the same for us and others. I like to do this in the grocery store. If I’m standing in line and I see someone with only a couple of items, I always allow them to go ahead of me. I do the same thing when someone has a cranky baby or toddler. That is a courtesy to everyone within sight, hearing or scent of the unhappy tot.

Recently we attended a pre-holiday Christmas event. CB’s family does a white elephant Christmas exchange. While one or two items are decent gifts, most are silly things such as a screaming monkey, a whoopee cushion or a beat-up hat that comes back year after year with added decorations that depict the former owner’s interests or vocation.

CB’s sister, Lisa, hosts this annual event. Most of the siblings are grandparents now. This year I asked if I could bring my two granddaughters, Rosannah (Zanna) age 5 and Briannah (Bree) age 3. They would be joining our great nieces and nephews that include: Xander, age 1, Hunter, 3, Meeka, 6, Zeke, 7, Annabelle, 9 and Kylie, 10.

Both Zanna and Bree remembered Hunter from an earlier gathering (he’s the little boy who not only OWNS a lot of toy cars, he SHARES them as well.) However, Meeka, who lives out of town, seemed a little nervous by this gathering of noisy relatives. I whispered to Zanna to try to make friends with her step cousin.

My affable granddaughter quickly complied with my request. Meeka seemed a bit apprehensive at first, but then told Rosannah and Briannah they could sit next to her if they wanted to do so. Before you know it they were fast friends.

We can learn a lot about this little interaction. Folks may seem unkind, but really they might be too shy or nervous to make the first overture toward a friendly encounter. While it is always a possibility that a kind gesture could be scorned, more often than not, it will be met with relief and gratitude.

The holiday season is a perfect time to initiate kindness. Also, I hope you can take a moment to sing some of your favorite Christmas carols. I like this one because even if you forget the lyrics, you can belt out the two sounds “fa” and “la” and sing with the best of them. To make things easier, here are the lyrics to the old Welch tune, Deck the Halls.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I haven't promoted my book Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within for a while, but I know this can be a challenging time for folks. If you know someone who could use some advice on erasing negativity, please contact me at comicsall@gmail.com. I ordered a few extra copies of my book and will be selling them for $10 each plus shipping. Happy holidays.

A Movie Debut

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 10 Jun 2018 21:22:00 +0000

Ever since I was a little kid I dreamed of making movies. Mostly I just wanted to write the stories. As an adult I have written screenplays, one-act plays, teleplays and more.

While no one has asked me to squish my hand and foot prints into cement for the world to behold outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater, I did complete a video for work. I hope you like it. Please feel free to share it with friends.

https://spark.adobe.com/video/3gFc0MDQqnSYU/

Mark Your Calendar for Free Outdoor Concerts in October

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Tue, 12 Sep 2017 01:05:00 +0000

I love music. There is something pretty awesome about listening to a live band on a nice autumn evening. And the only thing better than an outdoor concert is a FREE outdoor concert. That is why I'm posting this blog. Be sure to mark your calendars for this great music series.

Fall will once again be a festive time at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center. Music at the Village, a free outdoor concert series, returns on Fridays on Oct. 6^th, 13^th, 20^th, and 27^th from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20050 N. 67^th Ave. in Glendale.

The live music will kick off with the Classic Example on Oct. 6^th, followed by the McFadden Brothers & Victoria on Oct. 13^th, Lindy’s Groove will perform on Oct. 20^th and Classic Example will complete the series on Oct. 27^th. Spectators are invited to show up in costume for the Oct. 27^th concert. All music will be performed on the patio of AJ’s Fine Foods. Seating is limited and attendees are encouraged to arrive early and bring a yard chair.

AJ’s will offer free wine tasting inside the store from 3 to 6 p.m. each Friday before the concerts begin, and there will also be flash sales throughout the evening. A raffle will also be held and proceeds will benefit the Arizona Arthritis Foundation.

“October in is a perfect time to enjoy a free outdoor concert in the Valley,” said Mary and Karen Walker, president of Power Promotions and event coordinator for the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center. “This family-friendly activity is a great way to listen to music, as well as enjoy the many amenities that are available to those who visit this beautiful shopping center.”
The Village at Arrowhead offers specialty shops that provide the ultimate shopping experience with distinctive fashion, home furnishings, restaurants and personal services in one of the most architecturally unique and aesthetically pleasing shopping centers around.

For more information contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

Remembering my dad on Father's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Wed, 14 Jun 2017 18:47:00 +0000

I’ve been thinking about my dad lately. Father’s Day is approaching and even though my pop died more than 20 years ago, I still think about what kind of gift he might like to have for Father’s Day.

Dad had a weird sense of humor and wasn’t particularly helpful when we asked him for gift suggestions. Each year it was the same.

Me: “Dad, what do you want for Father’s Day?”

Dad: “A new butt. Mine’s cracked.”

My dad is in the center wearing sunglasses. This picture was taken

at a Cub's game at Wrigley Field in 1960.

This was the same response for Christmas, birthdays and other gift-giving occasions. I don’t know which was sillier, his corny response or the fact that my siblings and I continued to ask the same question.

That is not to say that we didn’t come up with some good gifts over the years. My brothers Terry and Dennis took him to ball games, my older sister, Diane, bought tickets so he and mom could go out to a show, my sister, Tina’s fiancé bought him a new television and VCR (back when the technology was new.) My sister-in-law, Joanie, always bought him a new pair of slippers. Dad wore slippers all the time so he needed replacements on a regular basis.

However, the gift that I think he enjoyed the most was a nutcracker my spouse, John, and I bought him. It wasn’t any ole nutcracker. This little marvel held the nut in place and a weight (released from a rubber-band-type launcher) cracked the pecans perfectly in half.

My dad loved nuts and we had three pecan trees in the yard. Having grown up in the heart of Chicago but probably being a country boy at heart, my dad loved it that he could go outside, gather nuts and pick fruit (especially citrus) and make something from scratch. Even during his years of dementia he never tired of making fresh squeezed lemonade or cracking a bowl full of pecans.

What made this gift special is it was directly related to his passion. Now cracking nuts is not MY passion, but it was something my dad loved to do. So rather than buy him Old Spice or another useless tie, we hit the mark with the nut cracker that year.

But now that my dad is gone, I still think of how I might have done things differently. What my father (and I think most fathers) want is to spend quality time with their children. As we get older we have the money to purchase bigger and better things, but finding the time to spend the day with dad is sometimes more difficult than cracking a nut without a nut cracker. It makes me think of the Harry Chapin song, “Cats in the Cradle” song chronicling the busy life of a father and son.

It can be difficult to find the time to spend an entire evening or afternoon with dad, but there are options - even for those of us who are time challenged. Why not ask dad to come and join you for a simple errand? It could be a trip to the post office, a walk to the store, or you could even ask your pop to ride shot gun while you pick up the kids from school?

I miss my dad, but when I think of the corny things he used to say, it still makes me smile. The other day I was helping my granddaughter with her toilet training. She goes to preschool and she is obsessed with naming things. She pointed to her butt and said, “What’s my butt’s name?” I told her “Briannah’s butt.” If she would have said “I want a new one, mine’s cracked” I would know that my dad had reincarnated back into our lives again.

Briannah is the ghost on the left and her sister, Rosannah, is on the right.

Of course she didn’t say that, but when she smiled at her question (she knew she was being funny) I couldn’t help but think a new nut was born. And with her budding sense of humor it would seem the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.

If you’re interested in a unique gift for your dad, consider buying a copy of my book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. You can buy it through Amazon, Smashwords or by contacting me through this blog. For more information about the book go to

https://www.prlog.org/12646426-unique-fathers-day-gift-offers-help-for-grouchy-dads.html

Whale Tale Rerun

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Mon, 29 May 2017 17:01:00 +0000

This blog is a summer rerun from a year ago, but hopefully you will enjoy it anyway.

It was the day after Labor Day and my spouse, CB, and I were headed out for a whale-watching adventure. During our drive we saw plenty of school buses packed with children ready to start the first day of school. Some of the kids looked excited, others nervous. I can appreciate both sentiments.

As a child I started off the school year with one of two new outfits I would wear that year. I remember wanting to put my best foot forward. I was a scruffy-looking kid, but a new outfit managed to put a coat of varnish on my otherwise rough exterior. My family wasn’t exactly impoverished, but we weren’t well off either. Plus, I did not take a lot of care in how I looked. My mom made sure my hair was brushed before I left the house, but I never gave it another thought the rest of the day. And as a kid who loved to play outside, hang upside on the monkey bars and chase other kids around the school yard, I’m sure I was a big mess. Actually, I have school pictures to prove I was a mess, but I digress.

When a new school year begins, I feel a nostalgic desire to learn something new. However, over the years I have found life’s lessons do not always come as a result of traditional education. While I do enjoy reading, taking classes and watching documentaries, I have found that some of my most valued lessons have come from observing nature.

However, fun, rather than education was my goal that September morn. We hopped into the truck and set off to the dock where we would take our four-hour tour. If the theme song from Gilligan’s Island comes to mind, remember that their ill-fated journey was a THREE-HOUR tour. That extra hour makes a big difference and we suffered no shipwrecks.

We enjoyed learning about the geology of the nearby terrain, history of area, as well as information about the mammoth Stellar Sea Lions. However, what impressed me most was s story our captain told us about orca whales.

These creatures (also named killer whales) swim in pods. When one of the females is about to give birth, the other females surround her and buoy her up so she is able to take in some oxygen. Once the calf is born, the entire whale community celebrates with breaches and tail slapping. One of the resident grandma whales in the San Juan Island area (reported to be more than 100 years old) recently had a new great, great grandson and researchers saw that the old matriarch was showing the little guy the ropes. The other whales chipped in doing what they could. The male orcas let the youngster ride on their backs.

I found this whale tale inspiring. I know humans are supposed to be the superior species, but I think all of us could learn something from the community spirit of these sea mammals.

In school, in our spiritual communities, work and our daily lives we have the opportunity to be a part of a supportive environment, or we can turn our backs on others. We can offer words of kindness and encouragement, or we can gossip, tease and humiliate others. Ironically, a child’s introduction to the latter is often in a classroom or playground. I’ve even witnessed snobbery, prejudice and cruel remarks snickered about others in a spiritual setting where some well-dressed hypocrite feels the need to measure some “poor unfortunate’s” worth by their bank account or the cost of their apparel.

That is why I was impressed by this quote from Daisaku Ikeda from the August 2012 edition of Living Buddhism magazine.

“Religion must contribute to the elevation of the human spirit. It must be a force for developing the inherent goodness within us with the aim of happiness for all. It must be a force promoting respect, wisdom and personal empowerment.”

I find this quote profound, but not unique to the teachings of spiritual sages and philosophers. I learned about it from an orca and I hope you will pass this whale tale on to others as well.

Hopping, Shopping and Music Popping Fun to Kick Off Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Wed, 08 Mar 2017 02:27:00 +0000

I am all about free concerts (and free things in general) so I wanted to pass this info on to my followers. Please spread the word.

Spring has sprung at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20050 N. 67th Ave. in Glendale with music, raffles, wine tastings, an Easter event, and more.

Music at the Village, a free outdoor event, will be held Friday evenings from 6 to 8 p.m. from March 17th through April 7. The music will kick off with the 360 Sound Machine on March 17th followed by The 8-Racks on March 24th and 31st and the spring concert series will wrap up with the Classic Example Band on April 7th

Seating is limited and attendees are encouraged to arrive early and bring a yard chair. Also, during the duration of the concert series, AJ’s will conduct free wine tasting inside the store from 3 to 6 p.m.

The fun will not stop when the concert series ends. There will be an Easter party on Saturday April 8th from 12 to 4 p.m. Children can get their picture taken with the Easter bunny, decorate Easter Eggs, and create a festive Easter hat. There will also be an Easter raffle to benefit Juvenile Arthritis.

“There will be bunny hopping, shopping, and music-popping fun this spring at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center,” said Mary Walker, president of Power Promotions and event coordinator for The Village at Arrowhead. “We have our Music at the Village with free concerts, and a great Easter Party. Be sure to mark your calendar and join in on the fun.”

The Village at Arrowhead offers specialty shops that provide the ultimate shopping experience with distinctive fashion, home furnishings, restaurants and personal services in one of the most architecturally unique and aesthetically pleasing shopping centers around.

For more information contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

A Sign of Creativity

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 08 Jan 2017 18:24:00 +0000

Board & Brush Creative Studio, the fastest-growing wood-sign entertainment chain in the nation recently opened at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20022 N. 67^th Ave. in Glendale.

The 1,100 square foot studio fills a unique niche – providing a venue to create a custom-made home décor sign from scratch, with a bonding experience that can be shared with friends, family, or even co-workers.

Board & Brush’s staff guides individuals and groups through all phases of the sign-making process to create a sign that looks like a vintage heirloom. In addition to instruction, Board & Brush offers work stations, pre-cut wooden signs, different stencils, seven types of stains, and 50 different colors to give each sign a customized look.

“Board & Brush is a great place for a ladies’ night out, an imaginative refuge for moms who need a break, or even a creative alternative to a traditional bachelorette party,” said Denise Clark who co-owns the business with Glendale resident Kristyn ZumMallen.

Other occasions for a Board & Brush DIY wood-sign get together includes: private parties; children’s birthday bashes; corporate events and fundraisers. The store is a perfect complement to the unique offerings of the West-side shopping center. To sign up for a workshop or view Board & Brush’s calendar of events visit www.boardandbrush.com/glendale or call 602-281-3531.

For more information about events and activities at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

Christmas Memories

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 03 Dec 2016 17:45:00 +0000

It's time to put the Christmas tree up again!

For many of you this may involve schlepping an aromatic pine or spruce into the living room. For others it might be a trip to the garage to haul out the annual plastic model. For me, it means it's time to re-post my favorite Christmas tree story. So once again for it's annual airing, here is my story about the ugliest Christmas tree. Please feel free to share this others.

I was relaxed, taking in the stereo when a commercial interrupted my listening pleasure.

"Make this Christmas one that she'll never forget," droned the announcer. "Yeah," I thought. "Spend big bucks and everyone will love you. Spend enough and we may even have peace on earth."

Christmas commercialism, it seems to get worse ever year. Do not get me wrong. I enjoy Christmas. It just bothers me that everyone thinks you have to spend a lot of money to have a merry one. I thought back to the commercial, "the best Christmas ever." It took my memories back to the Christmas of my 10th year, my most unforgettable holiday.

My family and I had moved to Arizona from Chicago four years before. Arizona was in a serious recession. My father, who had always provided a healthy paycheck for his wife and five children, could not find work. We got by on unemployment checks.

Jobs were plentiful in Chicago and my father's former boss was anxious to take him back. However, after four years of quiet, safe and sunny Arizona living, my mother refused to return to the Windy City. If my father could not find employment he would return to Illinois, send money, and the rest of the family would remain in Arizona.

It was a sad time - the bickering about money, worrying if my dad would have to move away. Christmas was an added burden. Money was tight enough without the added expense of the holiday. My mother explained the financial situation to us and we knew not to expect much in the way of presents.

Of course the brightly decorated evergreens we had enjoyed in the past were out of the question. We never even asked about one. Instead we pulled a three-foot aluminum tree out from the garage. The cold tinsel stalk inspired about as much Christmas spirit as a box of Reynolds wrap.

While everyone else decorated the tree, I decided to take a stroll. As I walked toward the end of the block, I turned right so I could investigate the bowling alley parking lot where they had been selling Christmas trees. I loved the scent of the pine in the cold air, another of many reasons I hated our artificial tree. As I neared the lot, I saw that it was bare. I kicked at the fragments of broken branches. In the corner, lying on its side, was a long misshapen evergreen.

It was easy to see why the tree was discarded. However, something inside of my brain clicked. The poor tree needed a home. My home needed a tree. I grabbed the trunk, but I was not strong enough to move it. I ran home to fetch my younger brother, Terry, who I was sure would assist in my plight. As it is so often the case with brothers, Terry lacked my enthusiasm.

"I don't even think a dog would use that tree," he laughed.

"Maybe so, but it would make a fine fort," I replied. With that in mind, Terry helped me transport the tree down the block and into our back yard.

My mother looked up from washing the dishes as we walked up the driveway, and warned us against bringing that "filthy thing" into the house.

"Its for a fort!" Terry exclaimed. I just smiled.

Once the tree was in the back yard, I sent Terry on another mission. I had no intention of turning the evergreen into a fort - at least not yet.

My dad walked up and looked at the tree. It was long, sparse on the top with heavy branches on the bottom. I was sure I could win him over, so I explained my scheme to him.

"You could chop a foot off the bottom and cut the branches off and drill holes where the tree is bare and do a little transplanting," I said.

My older sister, Diane walked out and spied the tree. "Father, you are not going to let her bring that thing in the house are you?" Diane shrieked.

"I don't see why you don't like it," I said. "It looks just like you. Not enough on the top and too much on the bottom."

Diane walked off in a huff.

Whether dad was bored, liked my idea, or was caught up in my enthusiasm I cannot be sure. But soon a drill and saw were out and "Ernie" the unwanted evergreen became a beautiful Christmas tree.

Dad brought the tree inside and we placed the few ornaments we had on Ernie. To help fill in the uncovered areas, we strung popcorn and pyracantha berries and cut out little ornaments from paper. Even my 18-year-old brother, Dennis, who was fond of imitating Scrooge and saying "Bah Humbug" to any mention of Christmas, helped to get Ernie into shape.

We did not have any Christmas lights, so Terry and I pooled our money, about 90 cents, and we got the rest of the cash from "Jack rabbit," my little sister Tina's bank. I am ashamed to say it was an unauthorized withdrawal.

One string of lights did not cover much, so we pushed the tree into a corner and decorated only the front. Despite the circumstances, I was happy. We all were. Never before, and unfortunately never afterward, do I remember my family working together so joyfully. For a short while, we were happy to be together and share what we had, each other.

That was the last Christmas we celebrated together as a family for a long time. Shortly afterward, my father returned to Chicago, unable to come home permanently until I was 16.

Except for my nemesis, Diane, my siblings and I still live in Arizona. Most holidays, we get together to exchange insults and presents. Our Christmas trees are always magnificent and the presents are plentiful and brightly decorated. You will not find strings of popcorn or pyracantha berries anywhere.

Christmas carols, if they were sung (and they are not) would be drown out by the big football games that are always scheduled in honor of the birth of Jesus.

I still think back to my childhood and that yuletide of my 10th year, and I know a truckload of presents could not match the happiness I felt that day. It was a special time when my father listened to me and made a small dream come true. And it all happened because of a poor misshapen Christmas tree that nobody else wanted.

Giddyup! Here Comes Santa Claus!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 12 Nov 2016 17:56:00 +0000

I love free family events and wanted to share this with everyone.

Free carriage rides with Santa, songs from the Deer Valley High School Carolers, as well as other holiday festivities will begin every Saturday from noon to 4 p.m. Nov. 26^th through Dec. 17^th at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20050 N. 67^th Ave. in Glendale, AZ 85308.

Pictures with Santa are available and are a perfect and festive background to use for holiday cards and letters. Keeping with the goodwill of the holidays the shopping center will be serving as a drop off for toys for children ages seven to 17 that have Juvenile Arthritis. Cash donations will also be accepted for the Arthritis Foundation.

“Our carriage rides with Santa has become a fun and joyous holiday tradition,” said Mary Walker, coordinator of special events for the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center and president of Power Promotions. “To enhance the holiday spirit, we also work with different charitable organizations. This year it is a toy drive for children with Juvenile Arthritis. With carolers and our carriage rides with Santa, it’s a great way to keep the holiday spirit of giving galloping along.”
The Village at Arrowhead offers specialty shops that provide the ultimate shopping experience with distinctive fashion, home furnishings, restaurants and personal services in one of one of the most architecturally unique and aesthetically pleasing shopping centers around.

The shopping center is located on the southwest corner of 67^th Avenue at the Loop 101. For more information contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (and Save Money!)

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 01:48:00 +0000

Cyndi Lauper was right when she sang “girls just want to have fun.” On Thursday, Nov. 10 from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. ladies can have fun (and save money) by going to the Girl’s Night Out event at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20050 N. 67^th Ave. in Glendale.

Ladies can enjoy live music, a fashion show, refreshments, in-store specials, door prizes and more - all within the relaxing backdrop of a center described as the shopping star of the West Valley.

“Our Girl’s Night Out event is a real treat for the ladies,” said Mary Walker, president of Power Promotions and coordinator of special events at the West-side shopping center. “It’s the perfect time to shop, save money, and indulge in a little pampering before the holidays begin. We hope everyone will come out and bring their gal pals with them to this exciting activity.”

Girl’s Night Out is the last fall activity before the upscale shopping center gears up for Christmas. The holiday festivities will begin noon to 4 p.m. every Saturday from Nov. 26 through Dec. 17 with Free Carriage Rides with Santa. In addition to this popular holiday tradition shoppers can enjoy listening to strolling carolers from Deer Valley High School. The center will also be hosting a drop off site for toys donated for kids ages seven to 17 that have Juvenile Arthritis. Cash donations for the Arthritis Foundation will also be accepted.

The Village at Arrowhead offers specialty shops that provide the ultimate shopping experience with distinctive fashion, home furnishings, restaurants and personal services in one of one of the most architecturally unique and aesthetically pleasing shopping centers around.

The shopping center is located on the southwest corner of 67^th Avenue at the Loop 101. For more information contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

Families Just Want to Have Fun (for free)!

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 15 Oct 2016 20:56:00 +0000

I love music, classic cars, and free events. So if you're like me, you'll will want to make sure to make it out for the last concert of the fall season at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center in Glendale, AZ. This will include a free fashion show, wine tasting, classic car show, as well as the ever-popular live concert series will begin Friday evening from 6 to 8 p.m., on Oct. 21^st at the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center, 20050 N. 67^th Ave. in Glendale.

The live music will be performed by the popular 8-Tracks Band. The music will be performed on the patio of AJ’s Fine Foods. Seating is limited and attendees are encouraged to arrive early and bring a yard chair. The weekly classic car show will be held in the shopping center parking lot.This 1966 T-bird is illustrative of the type of cars you will see.

AJ’s will offer free wine tasting inside the store from 3 to 6 p.m. each Friday before the concert begins. The latest fall fashions by the Village at Arrowhead merchants will be showcased as well from 6 to 8 p.m.

“Summer is over and it’s time to celebrate with us,” said Mary Walker, president of Power Promotions and event coordinator for the Village at Arrowhead Shopping Center. “Our Music at the Village, with its combination of music, fashion and classic cars have all the elements of an event that can be enjoyed by everyone in the family.”
The Village at Arrowhead offers specialty shops that provide the ultimate shopping experience with distinctive fashion, home furnishings, restaurants and personal services in one of the most architecturally unique and aesthetically pleasing shopping centers around.

For more information contact Marks Public Relations at 480-664-3004.

What Happened to Prunes?

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 25 Sep 2016 19:25:00 +0000

I stopped eating prunes.

I made a commitment to drink more water, exercise more often, and eat prunes again.

All those years I was basing my search on the name “prunes” and bags of “plums” did not compute.

Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner,
Eating a Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said 'What a good boy am I!'[1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRDLaSG6csA

Not one to hold a grudge about the name change, I have decided to poke fun of things with a poem of my own.

My gut was full,

intestines stuck.

I looked for prunes

but no such luck.

The name had changed from prune to plum.

I saw it not, gee I feel dumb.

A lesson learned, I do implore,

“read the labels at the store”.

Both prunes and plums will help you go.

But if not careful you may not know

that a rose by another name might smell as sweet

Or be ignored and spell defeat.

[1] Opie and P. Opie, The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1951, 2nd edn., 1997), pp. 234–7.

Goodbye Appendix

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 18:49:00 +0000

Through the years I have heard people make fun of philosophers who contemplate their navels in an ivory tower. Why an ivory tower? Maybe the lighting is better. I don’t know about you, but my belly button is a cute little “innie” and it would be hard to contemplate it properly without proper illumination.

But my navel contemplation is more quizzical than philosophical. I recently had a laparoscopic appendectomy. My abdomen has a couple small bandages – left side, right side and a small cut above my navel so the surgeon could poke around, find, and remove my inflamed appendix.

I didn’t see this coming.

I felt a little tired and nauseous over the weekend. When I ate pizza on Saturday night (a treat from my usual healthy diet) it felt like a leaden lump in my gut. I blamed it on overeating and my age. On Sunday I felt lethargic. On Monday when I had chills, muscle aches, and a fever that got as high as 101.5, I figured I had the flu. I took it easy, drank water, and took ibprofen for the pain. Since I’m a reasonably healthy woman, and I don’t have any medical issues, I don’t have a general doctor.

I have a couple good friends who are physicians, one is Carol, an OB/GYN, and the other is Andrea, a naturopath. When I have medical questions I talk to them. On Tuesday my fever was down to 100, the muscle aches were gone and I had a little bit of energy. My appetite wasn’t great, but I managed to eat yogurt, a bit of fruit, and some soup, so I knew I wasn’t in any danger of wasting away.

Both of my doctor friends said that I should stop procrastinating and get a regular doctor who could treat me. Physicians should not treat friends and members of their own family. I knew this advice was sound. I vowed to find a family doc from the list provided by my healthcare provider. However, when you’re sick, it’s hard to get a new patient appointment, so it’s best to already have a doctor on board before you really need one. Also, when you are sick and/or in pain, it’s hard to make navigate an unfamiliar website.

I learned this the hard way.

By Tuesday night I still didn’t feel well, but at least my fever was gone. I called the nurse hotline. I had completely different symptoms than the day before. The nurse asked questions and listened to my responses. I thought she would tell me to take two aspirin and call in the morning. Instead, she said I should be seen by a physician. I told her I didn’t have one. She said to go to the ER or urgent care that night or the next morning. I said I would go in the morning. Ever the optimist, I asked if I should still go even if I felt better, and she said I absolutely should. I was tired by this time, so I figured I would go to bed, go back to the health provider’s website in the morning, and find out what urgent care facility would take my insurance.

Which brings me to my second bit of advice; know what hospital and/or urgent care takes your insurance BEFORE you need it.

Around 4 a.m. on Wednesday morning I had abdominal pain in a band-like region across the front of my stomach. I went to take an ibuprofen, but I read the label, and it said it could lead to stomach bleeding. No ibuprofen for me. I tried to navigate my healthcare provider’s website and find an urgent care that would accept my insurance. I couldn’t make sense of it, nor could I find a customer service number for help. Again, this info may seem easy to navigate under normal circumstances, but I was alone, in pain, and frankly, scared.

I reached out to my OB/GYN friend Carol (who was out of town) and she said to call the nurse help line again and ask her where I should go. I knew the nurse wouldn’t have this info, but I asked, she put me on hold, got customer care on the line, and found a place near my house. A great example of how nurses go the extra mile!

I still thought my problem would be solved by antibiotics, but I went to the urgent care. I didn’t call first. I got down there at 7:15 a.m. They don’t open until 8. This leads me to my third insight. Not all urgent care facilities are 24 hours. Again, it pays to know this stuff ahead of time.

I waited in the parking lot for 45 minutes, but once I got inside things went pretty quickly. The physician poked around my abdomen and it was tender. In my infinite (hrmph) wisdom I had looked up about appendicitis on the internet and since my pain was not near my navel and I did not have classic symptoms, I ruled it out. The physician was not as dismissive about the possibility of a misbehaving appendix. And even if he were, SOMETHING wasn’t right and my pain had gone on long enough. He ordered a cat scan – stat. I didn’t even have time to pee out all the dye they gave me to drink when I was informed to get down to the ER. It was my appendix.

I let Carol and Andrea know I was on my way to the ER. Carol tried to convince me to have someone drive me. But I had already driven to the urgent care and cat scan facility, so I felt confident I could manage by myself. I was lucky on this one. I made it ok. But in retrospect, that was not a smart choice. Don’t do as I did. I was lucky. You may not be. Even if no one is available to take you, call an ambulance, or even a cab. Don’t drive yourself when you are sick or in pain.

Once in the ER, things went quickly. I had planned on calling my sister, Tina, and daughter, Alicia, later. I didn’t want to worry them. I thought I would have lots of time to call. Wrong again. But fortunately for me, Carol called both my sister and daughter and both of them were with me while I was getting pre-op tests etc. Having my family there meant more than I realized. In addition to the moral support, Tina had a better handle on our family medical history, and, unlike me, she is very good at remembering details. Alicia is always calm in a crisis and was there for practical matters such as taking care of the pet bunnies and letting my friends know what happened.

Once I had pain meds on board I was feeling pretty good. With Tina and Alicia as my audience I managed to crack a few jokes and regale them with a few stories. I don’t know if I would have been as brave had I faced all this alone. Even with drugs, I would’ve spent less time exposing the staff to my drug-induced, unfiltered sense of humor and more time worrying. So, another insight, don’t go into surgery without telling someone. If nothing else, it’s calming to know someone is waiting for you when you wake up from the operating table.

The 45-minute surgery was a success and I’m recovering nicely. My good friend, Lauren, took me home and made sure I had what I needed (soup, ginger ale etc., prescriptions etc.). I go back to work on Wednesday. I’m not sure why I had appendicitis. I believe it is a mystery to most docs. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t learn a few things that I would like to pass on to you:

Know which hospital, doctors, pharmacies, and urgent care facilities accept your insurance BEFORE you need to use it.

Find out the hours of the urgent care. Not all are 24 hours.

Don’t try to diagnose your own symptoms through webMD – especially for something that could be fatal such as a burst appendix.

Don’t drive yourself to the hospital.

Let your friends and/or family members know if you aren’t feeling well so they can check on you.

Never assume your problem is minor. Flu-like symptoms often mask more serious conditions.

In retrospect I would like to say how thankful I am to the doctors, nurses, and support staff that treated me. They were the best! I would also like to thank my family, friends, and co-workers. They came through for me like champions.

While I have to admit I have been contemplating my navel more than usual these past few days, this unexpected event has me contemplating a few other things as well. Be prepared for a medical emergency BEFORE it happens. It will save you time, money, stress, and yes, maybe even your life.

Dealing with Change

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 17 Jul 2016 03:44:00 +0000

Like most people, I don’t like change. Yes, change is inevitable. Yes, change is the only way to improve and grow. Life is like a soiled diaper, if you don't change it, it stinks. Blah, blah, blah. I know it, I accept it, and as a self-improvement writer, I even write about it.

But it doesn’t mean I like it.

Recently, when something DIDN’T change I performed a little happy dance. I work as a public relations specialist at Royal Neighbors of America, one of the largest women-led life insurers in the U.S. I am constantly creating a number of articles, press releases, web content, and blogs. Don’t get me wrong. I love my job and the people I work with. But like most workplaces, especially one that is as highly regulated as life insurance, there is a chain of command. Many eyes see my work, comment on it, change it, and send it back to me for revisions.

However, once in a while something wonderful happens – nothing. My article comes back unscathed. It's sheer ecstasy when a bit of my copy emerges unsullied from the strike-throughs on the track-changes tool on Word. Or better yet, it comes back with a happy, little bubble comment that says something like “great” or “we loved this”. It makes the whole process seem worthwhile. An unaltered document is like a victory to me. On the rare occasion my work is accepted as is (rare), or praised (less rare), I raise my fist in exalted victory, mutter a happy “yes!”, spin in my chair, take a second to regain my balance, and get back to work.

I don’t think this is an unusual reaction for a writer – especially a public relations specialist, journalist, or screenwriter. For instance, a popular expression in the screenwriting world is you don’t get paid for what you do, but rather what they do to you. It isn’t that bad in PR. We are trained to see the bright side of things. Many of us are like cocker spaniels. We live for a smile, a pat on the head, and occasional byline. Of course the biggest motivator comes from knowing something you write or do created value in the world. I must confess, for me, that is the greatest joy of all. In those moments of helping others I would gladly work for free. But a gal has to eat and live, so even on a good day I’m still cashing my paycheck.

While I would never discourage anyone from these celebratory moments of bliss, as a Buddhist I know personal glory is a double-edged sword. That type of joy (rapture) is not true happiness. It is a transitory emotion. It’s like a hit of cocaine. It’s a momentary high. And what comes up must come down. The problem is when we base our happiness on external factors such as praise, wealth, fame, status etc. it is an unsustainable happiness. Even the greatest transitory joys in life are temporary. Even if we are extremely fortunate and enjoy wonderful circumstances for many years, all things come to an end. After all, we can’t take our possessions, our wealth, our achievements, our families, or our status with us when we die.

However, from a Buddhist perspective, there is one thing continues sticks with us – our karma. The good and bad causes we make do not fade away. It may take eons for past thoughts, speech and actions to manifest into an appropriate and correlating effect, but it does. Of course it would be nice if we could see immediate results from our good efforts. But then it would mean we would have to see instantaneous results from the bad causes too and who wants that?

There is a reason for the delay. As time elapses we have the opportunity to (hopefully) grow and gain better insight into our past behavior and learn from it.

But we are human. We will make mistakes. And I am not advocating we live a life without pleasure. I, for one, will continue to enjoy joyous interactions with my family and friends, laugh at jokes, smile when I know I have helped another, and yes, do a little jig when one of my unedited articles gets picked up by the media.

But I have changed.

As I have practiced Buddhism over the years, my perspective about being a writer has evolved. I can revel in a little personal glory now and again, and I can grumble a bit when things don’t turn out the way I would like. The bottom line is deep down I know these little incidents aren’t as important as I would like to think they are.

If I want to be happy, I need to concentrate less on glory and more on prayer. In my case that prayer is chanting the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. When I chant it sparks an internal human revolution in me. As a result of my prayer I can see that many of the “edits” I face help me grow. It can also serve as an opportunity to change for the better – and sometimes that applies to my copy as well.

Pressing Matters

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sat, 14 May 2016 23:57:00 +0000

It’s one of those rare weekends when I’m home alone. CB is off camping. I have plans with the grand kids, but that is hours away. I start a load of laundry and pull out the ironing board.

Ironing used to be a chore I detested, but as I have gotten older I find it can be relaxing.

My mom never seemed to mind ironing either. There is something therapeutic about getting rid of wrinkles without a facelift.

But I remember mom seemed to enjoy pressing clothes even when she was younger. I can still imagine her in the kitchen sprinkling water on a mountain of laundry. These were the days before steam irons. She filled an empty 7-up bottle with water, placed a little gizmo on the top, shook the bottle, and dampened the clothes with it. But rather than ironing right then and there, she would put the clothes in a bag and stick them in the refrigerator. Later she would pull them out and iron away. I remember wondering why she did this. It always seemed a little odd to me, but I knew if I challenged her wisdom, or complained that my blouses smelled like cauliflower, I would be pressing my own clothing. So I kept my mouth shut.

But I was still cynical. I thought ironing was a big waste of time. Who cared about a few wrinkles, or whether or not your pleated skirt had perfect creases? But when I complained about it, my friend Maria was unsympathetic. She was the youngest of six kids and her job was to iron the clothing for all the family members who still lived at home. That included Maria, her mom, dad and brother, Joey. Mrs. Hernandez thought everything should be pressed – from doilies to sheets. Imagine my horror when I learned Maria was even expected to iron her brother’s blue jeans. Now mind you, this was decades before designer jeans, and Joey worked in construction. But that didn’t matter. Maria ironed his jeans and Joey went off to his job looking clean, fresh and pressed.

My disdain of ironing was shared by a cousin in the Hernandez family, who ironically, was also named Sally. She would hang out her clothes (few people had clothes dryers in those days – at least in sunny Arizona). But Sally laundered with a twist. After the clothes were on the line she would get out the hose, squirt the wrinkles out of the clothing, and let them dry (and stiffen) in the sun. I think this story was relayed to me as a cautionary tale, but I thought the idea was ingenious.

The next time I took my clothes out to hang on the line, I gave them a hose bath. The water is so hard in Arizona that it also acted as a type of starch. When the clothes dried, they were so rigid they could practically stand on their own. I did this for a year. But all good things must come to an end.

After high school I married a Navy sailor. When he reported for work, even in dungarees, he had to report looking spiffy. An improperly pressed pair of dungarees could result in ramifications in the wrinkle-free Navy, so I did my best to make sure John would pass inspection. He always did. But when the Navy introduced cotton/polyester blend clothing that resisted wrinkles – let’s just say that was a happy day for a lot of sailors and their spouses.

After John was honorably discharged, my iron got a well-earned rest. Clothes were easier to care for. More people (myself included) had a clothes dryer. And as long as you didn’t leave your clothes in the washer or dryer overnight (oops) chances were good your clothing would not be a big crumpled mess. Three cheers for polyester!

Fast forward a few decades. I divorced, held a few different jobs, and then started my own company, Marks Public Relations. In an effort to save money and be more environmentally responsible, I went back to hanging my clothes out to dry. I admit it, if you hang your clothes on a clothesline, chances are they are going to look more crumpled. But that didn’t matter to me. Except when I had to go to a meeting or needed to accompany a client for an appearance at the TV station, I didn’t have to look nice and crisp. In fact, I mostly sat barefoot in front of my home computer churning out press releases, media pitches, and scripts looking a bit rumpled. But things changed.

I learned of a great public relations position at Royal Neighbors of America. I wrote a good cover letter, successfully made it past the pre-screening process and three additional interviews, and was offered the position! I was (and am) very happy.

But working in a professional environment again means I had to make a wardrobe adjustment. I have traded my craggy attire for a more professional look. Even on business casual days (Thursday and Friday) I make sure my shirts – and yes even my blue jeans – are pressed. A little ironing is a small price to pay to work at a job I love. I don’t regret my decision one iota. And I bet Maria and Mrs. Hernandez would be happy to know I launder without the hose. It took more than 40 years, but I’ve finally mended my wrinkled ways.

Thanksgiving with the Ex In-Laws

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Fri, 27 Nov 2015 22:11:00 +0000

I’m not quite sure how to feel. My ex husband, John, recently remarried. I learned about the upcoming nuptials from my granddaughters. They were excited about the prospect of being flower girls. They incorrectly assumed I would be attending the affair. Shortly after hearing the news I saw facebook posts from my ex’s fiancé (now wife) who I will call N.

N is a sociable person (she friended me after all) and I have discovered more about them via social media than I would ever have heard from John. My ex is a former engineer and a man of few words. In fact his quiet demeanor was a contributing factor in our divorce. I come from a talkative family and the silence felt like solitude.

However, through facebook I see the newlyweds are an active couple with a lot in common. They renovate the house, go on motorcycle rides, drag a big RV to Sturgis, and attend classic car shows.In retrospect, I see that John and I were not well suited for one another. He came into the marriage with a muscle car (a 1971 Rambler Scrambler) that I didn’t appreciate. I thought the car looked like a striped box with a scoop on the hood.

I’m sure I asked him to sell it on numerous occasions. He not only kept the red, white and blue dragster, it has been meticulously restored. The Scrambler is the recipient of numerous awards. I, on the other hand, am driving my second Toyota Prius and plan to buy a third when the time is right. I gave both cars names (Sparky and Goldie) but other than that their hybrid lives have been unremarkable.

John and N prepare mountains of food in a smoker. My daughters, Alicia and Brittany, always tell me how delicious the meals are. I am not the greatest cook. Food is not my highest priority. I spent seven years of my first marriage as a vegetarian. The closest I came to smoking anything (edible anyway) was nuking a veggie burger in the microwave oven. I do eat meat now, but sparingly.

The differences continue. I hate motorcycles. My best friend was killed while riding his Kawasaki. I can appreciate the beauty of a bike and the sense of freedom riders must enjoy, but motorcycles scare me. When my oldest daughter mentioned she was considering purchasing one I told her I would rather cash in my 401K and buy her a car than to worry every day that she would get run over. The good news is my 401K is intact and Alicia drives a Nissan LEAF.

One thing I do share in common with the ex is I enjoy camping. At least in moderation. My spouse, CB, and I generally limit our excursions to a few days because our outings are in tandem with our two pet bunnies, Oscar and Jezebell. The furry (and constantly shedding) critters used to sleep with us in the camper on the back of our F-150 pickup truck. But we are in the big leagues now since we purchased a Little Guy trailer.

The bunnies get the camper and we get the trailer. All is right in the camping world. In contrast, John and N travel for weeks at a time and tow a 28 foot trailer with a 1-ton Dodge Ram Dually. To my knowledge they do not have any pets with them.

Overall I would say there are more differences than similarities between my life with CB and John’s marriage to N. John is retired. He and N not only travel to Sturgis and other getaways, they recently returned from a trip to Ireland. I do some traveling too, but it is work related. After 15 years of owning my own PR firm, I took a job as a PR specialist with Royal Neighbors of America. I recently returned from a multi-city tour where I had the privilege of helping award $10,000 grants to 10 women through Royal Neighbors’ Nation of Neighbors Program. You can read more about it at www.royalneighbors.org. I’m not complaining. I love my job. After years of only scratching the surface of my creative skills – I’m glad to put my talents to work for an organization that does so much good in the community.

Of course my former marriage also contributed to the good of the world through the birth of our wonderful daughters.

These gals are not only beautiful human beings; they are true humanitarians who are committed to making the world a better place for humans, animals and the environment. I couldn’t be prouder of the women they have become. And I feel confident that my granddaughters, Rosannah and Briannah, will do the same.

It has been nearly 20 years since John and I divorced. We see each other at holidays and events that involve our daughters and grandchildren. Our interactions are polite more than friendly, but even that is changing. CB and I received an invitation to John’s and N’s house for Thanksgiving. Since my kids and grandkids would be there, and CB and I were not planning on preparing a turkey this year, it made sense to attend.

It wound up to be a nice affair. In addition to my own family, N’s relatives, as well as John's brother attended. At first I thought it would be a little awkward, but it turned out to be enjoyable. I thought this meeting of different folks was probably reminiscent of when the Pilgrims and Indians came together in the spirit of friendship and new beginnings.

And speaking of new beginnings, after this holiday experience I had an epiphany. I know exactly how I feel about John getting remarried. I am thankful for the past I shared with my ex, but I'm relieved that our lives evolved so that we could enjoy new beginnings with spouses that are a better match for us. And now after breaking bread with my family and the ex in-laws I can truthfully say I am optimistic about upcoming holidays and the future in general.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Rooting for the Salmon

noreply@blogger.com (Sally) — Sun, 06 Sep 2015 01:13:00 +0000

I recently traveled to Alaska. What a beautiful state! I gazed at glaciers, spied two caribou nibbling in a meadow, and marveled at the spectacular scenery. It was something like 110 degrees when I exited the Phoenix heat in search of fun and chilly adventure, and Alaska exceeded my expectations.

Even at the hotel in Anchorage I could look out the window at thick groves of trees and dense foliage. With the exception of golf courses, I don’t see a lot of water and greenery outside my desert home.

Another thing that took me by surprise was how our 49^th state is considered a world-renown angler’s paradise. Fishing is a very big deal in Alaska – particularly salmon fishing. It is one of the few places (perhaps the only one) where every type of salmon lives. I am not interested in fishing, but I developed a different hobby while on holiday. One of my favorite activities was watching the salmon make their way upstream to spawn. The mighty fish swim against the current, jump up waterfalls and make their way to the place of their birth. It’s a bummer they die after they succeed in their quest.

As I watched the salmon making their way to their final destination I found myself cheering for their success. Yes, it’s true they were fighting their way to their inevitable death, but you really had to hand it to the scaled critters for their tenacity and verve. I squealed with delight each time each time one successfully made their “leap of faith.”

This behavior is not unusual to anyone who knows me. I have always been known to cheer for the underdog. It probably explains my affection for the Chicago Cubs. If they ever win a pennant or World Series I might have to entertain the thought of switching my allegiance to another losing team, but something tells me I will die a Cubs fan. If nothing else, I am a loyal fan and friend.

As I have mentioned in other blogs, I have been very fortunate to have many good friends. Several have been my comrades since my awkward days in junior high. This trio of ladies has helped see me through some good and dark days. I’ve also had my fair of acquaintances. Ironically, something I noticed is that some of the people I thought were my pals deserted me when things got tough, such as during and after my divorce. The opposite was also true. When things turned around and I became more successful, there were a few who must have felt threatened when my so-called station in life did not match their own. This made me sad, but it helped me in my understanding of human behavior. This eventually led me to co-writing a book with my friend, Jacqueline Howard.

After our book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within was published I was a guest on several television and radio shows. One of the topics that came up was the importance of good friends. I describe it in more detail in Chapter 3 – Anything for Acceptance. It chronicles the life of Maria who was sexually abused as a child and because of her lack of self esteem, made poor choices. She hung out with kids who introduced her to drugs and she became hooked on meth. After her boyfriend nearly killed her, she was able to leave town and live with her aunt and uncle in another part of the state. The good news is she became involved with a better group of friends who helped her overcome her addiction.

Maria found it odd when she was surrounded by people who sincerely cared about her happiness. But we shouldn’t be. We should take care to allow people into our lives who can make an impact on our behavior. This is especially true from the time we are 13-25. People will do research before purchasing a new television or smart phone, but will accept people into their circle of friends without much thought. Here are a few tips on choosing good friends from my book.

Erase Negativity

· Erase negativity by stating your desires in a positive way. Instead of saying, “I don’t want to be sick” say “I enjoy vibrant health.” Don’t just say “I want friends.” Say, “I want good friends who care about me and want the best for my life.”

· Illegal drugs, as well as drugs that are not prescribed to you by your physician pollute your mind, body and soul. Don’t take a chance. Stay away from drugs. Find healthier ways to make friends and enjoy your life.

Embrace the Magic Within

· Pay attention to your intuition when making new friends. An uncomfortable feeling in the gut is usually a warning. A warm feeling in the heart is generally a good sign.

Another question to ask yourself is whether that person is encouraging good or bad behavior. The buddy who suggests “one more hit” or another drink, is not someone interested in your well being. The same is true of individuals who put down your successes.

Personally, I am a cheerleader of sorts. This is a harder concept for some than others. The way I look at it is happy people who are accomplishing their dreams are less likely to think, say and do bad things. More happy people will improve society as a whole. It creates a ripple effect toward a happier planet.

I know this bit of advice may seem foreign to some. If so, fake a more altruistic outlook until you can genuinely own it. Challenge yourself to enjoy the successes of others. In time you will feel better yourself, and once you focus on happiness rather than anger or envy, you might just get hooked on the feeling.

Erase Negativity and the book

Not for all the peppermint tea in Arizona

Ten Reasons to Erase Negativity and Embrace a More Positive Outlook

Self Help Authors Offer Discount on E-Book on Erasing Negativity

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Nostalgic Choice to Save Money

Are You Hijacking Your Own Happiness?

What Happened to Prunes?

What is the RX for Happiness for Healthcare Providers?

Holiday Kindness

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Troll the ancient Yule tide carol, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Strike the harp and join the chorus. Fa la la la la, la la la la. Follow me in merry measure, Fa la la la la, la la la la. While I tell of Yule tide treasure, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old year passes, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Hail the new, ye lads and lasses, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Sing we joyous, all together, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

A Movie Debut

Mark Your Calendar for Free Outdoor Concerts in October

Remembering my dad on Father's Day

Whale Tale Rerun

Hopping, Shopping and Music Popping Fun to Kick Off Spring

A Sign of Creativity

Christmas Memories

Giddyup! Here Comes Santa Claus!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (and Save Money!)

Families Just Want to Have Fun (for free)!

What Happened to Prunes?

Goodbye Appendix

Dealing with Change

Pressing Matters

Thanksgiving with the Ex In-Laws

Rooting for the Salmon

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.