Ridiculously huge days

When you have a new business, every day seems like a really big one. Or, at least, at our stage of development it seems like that. We've been doing so many things - setting up our accounting, getting fixed up to take insurance, buying a new computer, getting money for our business in reasonable amounts, working on promotion schedules, seeing patients and actually helping them. It's amazing, it's crazy.

The thing is that it's all a little slow. I get frustrated by the end of my days, sometimes, because it just feels so... slow... I wake up at 5:30, 6am and I'm pretty much working until 7pm, sometimes later. I don't take breaks. Yet, at the end of the day, I've not done a huge number of things.

Today is a good example. My day looked something like this:

1. Wake up, do my morning stuff (which is the normal waking up stuff + checking all of my stats, Google Reader, reading some of the paper/National Geographic/whatever looks shiny at the time, checking on bank accounts, etc)

2. NCNM Faculty meeting for a couple of hours, with requisite post-meeting hallway discussion

3. To the clinic, do some cleaning up and randomness of a necessary nature

4. Work on getting Acubase (our client/appointment/billing management software) set up in one of many necessary ways

5. Spend time getting some information together to send to our insurance biller (who is completely awesome), send it via fax-by-email

6. Print out many copies of important office forms

7. See two patients

8. Work on lining up big herb purchases (finally finishing the medicinary - yay!)

9. Work on other purchases - getting invoices, checking prices, emailing and calling people

10. Try to eat lunch, take a walk (exercise!) and talk to my dear friend Michael Givens on the phone... all at the same time

Some of those things, especially 4 and 5 just took way longer than I wanted them to - why? Because they're new. This is new stuff. It's important stuff, big stuff, and stuff that will be pretty easy at some point. But not today. Today it's two steps forward, one step back. It's reading manuals and getting frustrated, and walking around in circles for a little while.

Somewhere along there, seeing patients became my down time. Where before that was the most stressful part of my existence (internship was rocky at first) now it's blissful, like a soothing dream. Not EASY, per se, definitely not. But immensely satisfying, full of all-important human contact, and juicy like I've always known it would be. It gives my brain and heart something to do that doesn't involve spreadsheets, fax machines...

So, that's how things are right now. It's fine by me.

Loading mentions Retweet
Comments (0)
Posted 1 month ago

So, this is my life?

Above is an image of the Columbia River Gorge. I drive through it on the way to one of my "obligations" every week.

 

Ok, here it is.  I wake up at 5:15ish am.  It's dark.  It smells like woodsmoke, and a messy bed and too much laundry and happy animals.  I have tea.  I have some more tea.  I eat a breakfast concoction that would sicken some of you with its utter healthiness and heartiness.  I go for an absolutely splendid walk in the dark.  People are just waking up.  There are fires being lit.  The trees drip with the mists they snatched from the sky.  I hear things moving - flying things.  Crawling things.  I walk fast.  I see the first hint of sunrise.  I get my blood moving. I get home - noone is awake.  I spend the morning reading about Qing Dai (Indigo) a Chinese herb that I am quickly learning to love.  I realize that my day consists of the following:

(1)  Heading to my mentor's house where I will soak in intense amounts of immediately useful and enlightening information.  This activity will be preceded by a leisurely drive through some of the prettiest country of which I am aware.

(2)  Coming home to eat a homemade lunch with my sweetheart.

(3)  Getting some material ready for the herbs class I'm teaching in the afternoon - consists mainly of doing what I love best - reading about herbs and thinking about herbs.

(4)  Going to teach said herbs class, which is riotous fun.  But first, I go pick up some herbs and talk to one of my favorite people in the world - Michael Givens - friend and colleague, who will give me a hard time about the Qing Dai thing.

(5)  Heading home to study some herbs, make some dinner, and do some building of my clinic's online presence.

Yesterday, I was talking to Amanda - we were feeling a little put upon about one thing or another.  Then I said, "You know what, here's the thing - we're living the life we wanted to live!"

We may not be rich (or even, you know, totally paying the bills), we may not always love every single thing we're doing.  But we are doing it.  We chose a path, and now we're walking it.

It brings tears to my eyes to think of how lucky I am.


Loading mentions Retweet
Comments (0)
Posted 1 month ago

Autumn morning finds in Oregon

I love my morning walks. Whenever I need to remember the subtle magic of this planet, a friend pops up to help. Autumn is especially ripe with these opportunities. Yesterday? A coyote in the middle of the city stopped to watch me watch it. Messages...

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  autumn   fall   nature   walks  
Comment (1)
Posted 1 month ago

Life! It blows me away!

I'm consistently amazed and fascinated by the human body.  I mean, sure, animals in general - nature in general - but really, my experience of my body is a source of endless "wow!" moments.  For instance, just now, I was working hard at my computer.  Unbeknownst to me, my dog had taken up residence directly behind me, sleeping soundly.  I had to get up to grab my wallet to make yet another painful business purchase.  Perhaps lost in thought, I just stood up as I've done countless times, with the intent to head towards the kitchen.  

I moved a little too fast, apparently, because the dog couldn't move.  For the next five or six seconds my body did incredible things.  It DID NOT FALL, amazingly.  I engaged in a completely unconscious dance of limbs, readjusting joint angles, shifting weight this way and that and - I noticed - not breathing much.  There was no thought in this.  If I had stopped to think, I surely would have fallen.  As it is, I have no idea how I didn't.  I do know that my dog thinks he's in deep trouble, my slippers somehow ended up on the other side of the room, and I STILL had to make the painful business purchase.

Only now with the added fun of adrenaline.

It occurs to me that this is why watching basketball highlight reels really and truly brings me to tears sometimes.  It's why I like to watch basketball and other fast moving sports in the first place.  It's why I find myself staring at pregnant bellies.  It's why I am floored every year when the cold hard sticks on my trees and bushes burst to luxuriant life.  Not the adrenaline part, but the utter amazement I experience every time I am in the presence of this beautiful world and the things in it.  Just to see how the life in this world continues, to see how it adapts to changing circumstances, to engage with it all...

It's worth almost falling down once in a while.

---
Oh, and go Blazers.




Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  anatomy   life   trailblazers  
Comments (0)
Posted 1 month ago

A secular song that somehow encapsulates my religious sensibilities

All vulgarity and silliness aside, this song has always uniquely captured my spiritual essence, at least as I understand it, at least now.  :)  I love the asceticism, the apocalyptic yearning, the witnessing of degradation but with the eye of beauty.

Beck - We Live Again (from Mutations)

These withered hands
Have dug for a dream
Sifted through sand
And leftover nightmares
Over the hill
A desolate wind
Turns shit to gold
And blows my soul crazy
The end
O the end
We live again
O I grow weary of the end
O hungry days
The footsteps of fools
Gazing alone
Through sex-painted windows
Dredging the night
Drunk libertines
Stink like a colognes
From the newfangled wasteland
The end
O the end
We live again
O I grow weary of the end
Love is a plague
In a mix-match parade
Where the castaways look so deranged
When will the children learn
To let their wildernesses burn
And love will be new never cold and vacant
These withered hands have dug for a dream
Sifted through sand and leftover nightmares
The end
Of the end
We live again



Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  beck   music   religion  
Comments (0)
Posted 1 month ago

What counts as recreation?

I get a hard time from my friends and family for being too serious. I'm actually a bit of a ham, so it's not a personality thing they're (mostly) talking about. It has more to do with my habits. I do work a lot, and when I "play" it doesn't look like play to most people. Right now, my free time is devoted to projects around the house (garden, etc), blogging (at Deepest Health - been really slow lately and it pains me) and spiritual education (mostly through watching video, listening to audio and reading). I can't imagine what else I would want to do with my time. Except other, similar, activities.

I tried to get into D&D again. It was fun, for sure, and I'm always happy to meet new geeky folks. However, I just couldn't mentally make space for it. Why? Because I don't like to have fun? No. Partly it's that the business is in a growth stage (or, at least, I hope it is) and demands a lot from me. This isn't a forever thing, it's a right now thing. But additionally, whenever I was playing I found myself thinking about other things I could/should be doing. Like the above. But, also learning Chinese, reading the Classics, working through old material that I haven't digested yet (in the realm of herbs, Chinese medical theory, etc).

Am I too serious?

I don't think so. I just find different things to be fun than most folks do. I like to advance my understanding of my profession. I like to work through difficult aspects of patient cases. I like to go on walks listening to prominent spiritual educators. I like to dig in my garden. I like to fix my gutters. I like to spend time digesting and distilling my life experience and writing interesting blog posts. I like figuring out how to make my podcasts better. I like to research how to increase my earnings from blogging and elsewhere.

I don't like television. Not even when it's on the computer. Do I sometimes watch shows with Amanda? Sure. Often? Nope. I don't like to read fiction much, I don't find myself pining for the latest movies, etc... I do like games sometimes, but only with family, and only because it's fun to hang out with them. Solitaire? Not so much.

So, yeah, maybe I'm too serious - but I'm having a great time. I question why people seem to think that you can only be having fun if you're wasting your time. It's weird, ok?

One note: I do have one entirely frivolous pasttime - watching basketball. So get off my back! ;)
---

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  fun   personality   trailblazers  
Comments (0)
Posted 1 month ago

Why I'm going to be blocking out my schedule

I've read this blog article many times (Cal Newport is one of my favorites) and even though I'm not in school anymore, I think the advice in this article is what will ultimately save me. It's in some ways directly contradictory to GTD, but in some ways not.

The fact is that I just have too darn much to do and too little time to do it. Because I have so many things of apparently equal priority, it makes choosing what to do in any moment pretty difficult. Unfortunately, what ends up happening is that things that give me anxiety (making money, keeping commitments to friends/family/others) get all the attention and things that are quieter, but maybe more important in the long term (learning Chinese, studying herbs, making my herbs class better and better) get short shrift.

In actuality, this is even MORE anxiety producing because I have this lingering feeling that I'm not advancing in very important areas of my life.

Look - I rarely, rarely, rarely miss an appointment, drop the ball on some current commitment, etc. The business is rolling along nicely, systems are being developed, grant money has been applied for and is coming and so on. But, those sneaky little places where MEANING truly resides in my life are becoming empty. It gives me palpitations.

So, I'm going to try the Fixed schedule productivity method combined with "Technique: Limit." Limit what? Computer usage to only what is necessary, and only in bursts. This doesn't mean I won't be blogging, in fact I will probably blog MORE. It means I cut out all the chatting, the internet research, the endless looking for new and better techniques, the obsessing over my blog/sales/Facebook page stats, the fiddling with things.

I'm also limiting new commitments and finding the most essential parts of my profession to study and work on. For now, for me, that's herbs and Chinese language. Everything else is just going to have to wait.

I think this will work, but we'll see.

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  eric's habits   getting things done   GTD   productivity   schedule  
Comments (0)
Posted 2 months ago

Just can't seem to get caught up!

It's all good things! Everything I'm doing is totally awesome! I'm utterly slammed, and utterly happy. I just can't seem to get on top of my workload in the way I'm accustomed to - but I do feel that this state is on the horizon. The main things I am missing? Blogging! Soon, my friends, soon!

Loading mentions Retweet
Comments (0)
Posted 2 months ago

Autumn

October opens my heart utterly to the majesty of the Divine.

Sent from my iPhone

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  autumn   fall   God   religion   walks  
Comments (0)
Posted 2 months ago

Carl Sagan Auto-Tune (feat. Stephen Hawking)

Amazing.

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //  autotune   awesome   science  
Comments (0)
Posted 2 months ago