Continue reading]]> I’m not getting rich off this stuff, so what the hell – why not share it with some friends? For a limited time, I’ll be offering ALL of my e-books for free at Smashwords.com (click the link below, you have to sign up for a free account on their website but it’s painless): https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/erickiefer

If you have some money burning a hole in your pocket, you can buy paperback versions of “The Soft Exile” and “Killer Unicorn Apocalypse” on Amazon (please leave a review if you enjoyed the book)

Continue reading]]> Unicorns aren’t adorable – they’re horror fuel. And it’s time that the world knows it.

After a coven of murderous unicorns destroy a young woman’s ancestral home in an attempt to seize a legendary magical artifact, she’s forced to embark on a quest to bring it to safety – no matter what the cost. But to do so, she’ll have to forge an unlikely partnership with a shapeshifting unicorn who was sent to kill her.

Together, the pair must survive encounters with a team of eccentric knights, a platoon of genocidal elves, a dream-hijacking bounty hunter, a clan of cannibal gnomes and a terrifying alpha unicorn who is trying to annihilate the entire human race. They’ll also have to overcome something much more dangerous: their taboo, irresistible attraction for each other.

By E.A. Kiefer

For mature readers (18+)

BUY THE PAPERBACK VERSION AT AMAZON, BARNES & NOBLE, OR INGRAM SPARK (FOR BOOKSTORES, LIBRARIES)

BUY THE E-BOOK AT SMASHWORDS, AMAZON, APPLE AND OTHER ONLINE RETAILERS

ISBN: 979-8-9882690-1-4

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The fourth album from Eric Kiefer, “Life Is Soup, I’m A Fork” is an unabashed celebration of the weird and dumb.

Those familiar with his idiotic anthem “Groin Ship” – a crowd favorite from his college days – will appreciate his new lineup of whimsical ballads, each with a strange-yet-satisfying hook that will leave you scratching your head… laughing… or humming along like a fiend.

Tracks include a toe-tapping celebration of solitude (“Lone Wolf”), an enigmatic rock-and-roll oddity (“More Pork Sausages”) and a couple of carefully curated, re-envisioned public domain tunes.

“Life Is Soup, I’m A Fork”: it’s music that you didn’t know you need to hear.

All songs written, performed and mixed by Eric Kiefer (BMI), except “How Dry I Am” (with lyrics and melody by Irving Berlin) and “House of the Rising Sun” (traditional folk song).

Album now available at Bandcamp here. Soon to be available at major online distributors, including iTunes and Amazon.

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A quick update from Eric Kiefer, Wordsmith and Troubadour… Don’t worry my friends! I’m still here, and I’m working on some cool music and writing projects that will be sure to put a smile on your face and some lead in your belly.

KILLER UNICORN APOCALYPSE – Top secret shit, right here. Title tells all. A novel soon to come.

THE BIG NOTHING: A ROANOKE MYTH – Completing one of my “bucket list” tasks – publishing a comic book – has given me a severe lust for the medium. To follow up on my debut effort with artist Carlo Boirard, “Your Seed For The Moon,” I’m working on a graphic novel that takes a new spin on one of the greatest mysteries of all time… what happened to the Lost Colony of Roanoke? Cannibals, Vikings, compassion, obsession and one hell of a twist ending will make for a comic you won’t want to miss. Stay tuned!

NEW ALBUM OF MUSIC – I’m also three songs-deep into an album that will finally include a studio version of “Groin Ship.” Some familiar ditties such as “Evil Eye” will also make an appearance alongside new tunes like “Lone Wolf.” It’ll be a bit more chuckle-oriented than my last effort, the zombie-themed concept album, “New Zeitgeist: Songs From The Zombie Apocalypse.” Yummy!

Take a moment to visit my online store and check out what’s available. It’s all cheap. That’s good.

Please be patient with me, and until our next conversation, just remember one thing.

It is what it is… but it doesn’t have to be.

– Eric Kiefer

Continue reading]]> “Your Seed For The Moon” is an R-rated retelling of the classic fable of the Man In The Moon. An unabashed love story (albeit a creepy one), the graphic novella follows the crew of a mighty spaceship on their desperate quest to save their oil-fueled world from extinction by stealing a secret power… the heart of the moon.

With art by Carlo Boirard (pencils, inks) and story by Eric Kiefer (writing, letters).

Buy the graphic novella at Amazon/Kindle (CLICK HERE)

Buy the graphic novella at Smashwords in epub, pdf and other formats (CLICK HERE)

HOW IT WAS MADE

Want a behind-the-scenes look at how the graphic novella was made? Check out the below script excerpt/art!

PAGE 22, PANEL 1

We see Goel – back in “real life” on the spaceship – spread out and dying on the floor on his back. He has pierced his helmet and neck with a sharp screwdriver or an awl. The sharp object is still in his hand. He’s in a pool of his own blood, eyes half closed and rolled back in his head as he slowly dies.

CAPTION: But it was too late, because in the real world, Goel had pierced his throat and was dying on the ship’s deck.

PAGE 22, PANEL 2

The Moon is appearing in her physical form to Goel. She is looking down at him, almost three heads taller than him and much more majestic/regal in posture, but with a kind and sorrowful look on her face.

Goel is at panel right, looking up at the Moon with awe. He’s realizing that something is up, and he’s in the presence of some omnipotent being. This is the first time the Moon has ever appeared in this form in front of a human before, so an appropriate aura of awe to the characters is needed.It is better to take the medication with a glass of water, swallow and do not crush or chew it* Have it at least 30 minutes before the sexual commander levitra respitecaresa.org activities Don’t take heavy or fatty meals when planning to have kamagra with an empty stomach Don’t increase or decrease the dose without prior consultation Take the medicine prior to sexual activities only.

CAPTION: As Goel’s heart fluttered for the final time, the Moon appeared in his dream.

CAPTION 2: He had but one question.

GOEL: Am I dead?

PAGE 22, PANEL 3

Side profile of the Moon, eyes cast downward in shame and sorrow. A single tear can be coming out of her eye, if you don’t think it’s too hokey.

MOON (dialogue balloon and lettering should be in some arcane and mystic looking font/style, all capital letters, the voice of a god):  YES.

ERIC’S PANEL SKETCH

CARLO’S BADASS FINAL PAGE ART (without lettering)

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? WANT MORE? BUY/PREVIEW THE REST OF THE GRAPHIC NOVELLA HERE!

VISIT THE ONLINE STORE HERE

Continue reading]]> Now available from Eric Kiefer… the Official Author’s Edition of “The Soft Exile,” a novel about suicide, Mongolia and the U.S. Peace Corps!

Kiefer’s reformatted e-book edition includes bonus photos and an alternate cover based on a painting by Kenji Katakura. Proceeds directly benefit the author and his bartender.

Get it at all major digital bookstores and at Smashwords (free downloads until Jan. 1, 2016 with coupon code: EL72F)

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE E-BOOK

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It’s here!

My debut poetry/music amalgam, “Spoken Word For The Doomed,” is now available for download at major digital distributors such as iTunes and Amazon.

To launch the new album, I’m making it FREE UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR (Dec. 31, 2015) though Bandcamp only.
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Click here to download the album for free at Bandcamp.com (all major file formats supported).

Enjoy a sample track below!

Continue reading]]> Greetings from the wastelands, my friends! It’s always been a dream of mine to release a spoken word album. So now it’s my pleasure to announce that after two decades of writing poetry – 20 years of scribbling on supermarket receipts and paper bag scraps – with the help of some friends, I’ve finally managed to cross another item off the bucket list. Enjoy this sample track from my new spoken word album, “Spoken Word For The Doomed,” to be available for download from most major digital distributors on Saturday, Nov. 21.