you are now officially my *hero*! thank you for all the links, and the reminder about Jewish practices – i get so focused on things, i forget others, and that tradition *IS* the perfect way to stymie the issue [and it's such a beautiful tradition - i was invited to dinner one night when it happened, the family of one of the teens i mentored, and though it wasn't part of the tradition, they included me in the song. it actually made me cry, that they felt i was part of their family just because i hung out with their son 1/week..] like lots of people, i tend to forget the practical application of that fact that Christianity came from Judaism, and if we’re wondering about a specific OT tradition, the people to ask [or observe] would be the people who have been doing it for over 4,000 years.

also all the other links – especially the book. i’m addicted to books, so that’s awesome, and i’ve pre-ordered it

Regarding Proverbs 31, two words: Eshet Chayil. I didn’t know about it when I wrote this article, though I think I may have to go back and do a revision to include it (it proves I really did have a glaring insight into the obvious!). In the Jewish tradition, Proverbs 31 has a very different function than it did for your friend. I’ll quote:

A Woman of Valor, called Eshet Chayil in Hebrew, is a hymn which is customarily recited on Friday evenings, after returning from synagogue and singing “Shalom Aleichem” and before sitting down to the Shabbat evening meal. [...] It has become a Jewish custom for men to recite this hymn at the end of the week, and thus to think about and be thankful for all his wife has done for him and their family throughout the past week. (source)

Proverbs 31 is actually a hymn sung every Sabbath by the husband to affirm his wife! Poking around on Google, just about every Jewish source I found confirms that. Here are a few articles that elaborate further: About.com, hillel.org, hebrew4christians, and Rachel Held Evans. (The last is a Christian author whose works you will probably want to check out along these lines as well; she has an upcoming book on “biblical womanhood” that looks very promising.) You can also find some videos on YouTube of it being sung in Hebrew.

I hope that’s as inspiring to you as it was to me. You can also find some links to sites about QF/P throughout my articles on the subject. Best wishes in encouraging your friend.

thanks for not taking offense at the first comment – i *do* try to phrase things better, generally – it was a high pain day.

question: do you know of anyone else who has written about Proverbs 31 from the same [or a similar] stance?
[i'm gathering ammo for a friend - she escaped an *extremely* abusive marriage last year, and her parents are being... i won't actually say it, but let's say "the opposite of supportive". as in her mom once told me "She should have stayed - if he beat her to death, she'd have earned a martyrs crown. and what am i going to say at church?" i really DO deserve a medal for not killing her. or at least slapping her. the "Be a Proverb 31 wife! you failed at being a Proverb 31 wife!" mantra is quite common right now, hence the search for ammo against those attacks.]

actually, my friend and her horrible marriage are the *reason* i started researching QF/P churches and philosophies – and beyond helping that friend, it’s helped me with a few teens i mentor. really good to know these things. aside from a general love of learning, i mean