I actually think it’s wonderful that women in your church want to use their culinary skills to bless others. And this example would be great if it were balanced with examples of women with different skill sets also using their gifts to bless others. A female financial adviser teaching a class on budgeting in the church, for example… Or a woman gifted in wisdom serving on an advisory council that counseled elders on church leadership decisions… Or a woman with a heart for seeing mercy and justice extended in and through the church served by counseling and co-counseling women / couples dealing with difficult life situations (like domestic abuse, unplanned pregnancy, addiction, etc)… 

But the model presented in my church was one of talking about how much pastors wanted to see women use their gifts – by baking cookies for the church Christmas Eve service… or serving in children’s ministry (good things, surely)… but meanwhile, it seemed that only men served on the “financial advisory committee” and the pastor only sought the advice of men on church situations and only men could lead small groups…. When only men are invited to give advice to the pastor(s) and only women are invited to bake cookies – when men are praised for using their leadership gifts and women are praised for their kitchen skills (and “releasing the men to serve the church”), it sends a message that goes beyond praising those specific individuals. It sends a message about what is normative and appropriate for men and women to do in the church.

My temptation in hearing such things was to withdraw to the fringes of church life. I want to be fully engaged in my church. Heck, I can even bake pretty well, but I love theology, study, apologetics, counseling and caring for people’s spiritual needs, and extending justice and mercy… I can make a difference in those areas – but rarely have seen a place for me to do so in the church…And I appreciate that you are not ashamed to be an emotional pastor.