Eric's Randomness

#7 The Anticipation

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:29:00 +0000

On the surface the Annual Men's Chateaugay Vacation (Mancation, Guy's Week, etc.) may look like an excursion from the daily grind that may last 7-10 days tops, but as anyone who has made the trip more than once will tell you that once you've experienced Chateaugay the longing to return never leaves you. Generally speaking planning for Chateaugay as we know it starts on New Years Eve of the year before. As if by some divine providence, whenever two or more Mancation attenders gather together on New Years Eve, at some point during the night someone utters some form of the following phrase "You know there's only 6 months until Chateaugay". That's when the anticipation really starts. In the months following, streams of emails, online chats and phone conversations are exchanged as the season starts to turn from Winter to spring. Talks of boat rides with Bubba-Kegs, images of Glaziers on the porch, thoughts of a Cigar and a drink with friends around the horse shoe pit all build the excitement and help to pull each of us out of the doldrums of the spring months even if just for a moment.

As vacation time gets closer budgets are discussed, TOB entries are selected, debated and narrowed down, cigars are selected, purchased and stored. Stories of years past are retold and retold. Like the time Brian got a little into his cups during the TOB and decided to sit out for 2 hours in a silent protest on the couch with his green trucker hat with the creased bill, aviator shades and a frown refusing to let anyone talk him out of it. Or all of us putting in the dock for the first time in frigid waist-high waters while JOB stood in the shallows doing nothing but complaining about the cold wearing Steve's mother's trench coat. Montreal memories from the customs officer who tore through all of our luggage, Enrique Iglesias to Molson H2Os. Perhaps someone will retell a story from one of the earliest trips to the lake, like when Steve managed to find Ken's only exposed area of skin with a paintball from 50 yards out through the trees. All of these memories and more build up an even greater desire to make the pilgrimage back to Camp.

The count down continues, 6 months turns into 10 days and then the first weather report comes out, most likely rain in the forecast, but that never dampens spirits. Camp is near, cigars will be smoked, drinks will be had, traditions will be held and reinvented, friendships will be strengthened, timeless memories will be formed and souls will be rejuvenated, refreshed and renewed. And then if just for one week, all will be right in the universe.

That is what makes the anticipation one of the reasons we love Chateaugay.

#8 The Local Attractions

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:48:00 +0000

#8 Local Attractions

Chateaugay, New York is not what one would call a "tourist destination", the cottage is no where close to luxury lodging, but one thing is for certain, many memories have been formed at the various quirky local attractions the area has to offer. For those who call the Midwest states home, Meijer & Kroger are the supermarkets of choice offering familiar cuisine and layout. No such stores can be found around Chateaugay Lake, instead we have to hunter-gather our way through the wild untamed country of the IGA or Alix's True Value in the town of Chateaugay where you can get your very own embroidered Chateaugay, NY hooded sweat shirt, any item in Car-hart's product line and a washer/dryer combo all in one stop. For those more accustomed to "modern" shopping, the town of Malone has a Price Chopper, Wal-Mart and a K-Mart to choose from.

As any true American consumer would tell you, a town with a Wal-Mart is a happening place and Malone is no exception. As previously mentioned Malone is home to the local 'Chopper and its no doubt that our arrival marks a banner day for the local grocer. One can imagine the spectacle, several young men (in their mid-twenties) roaming the store with 2 full carts supermarket sweep-style searching for everything we need to feed up to 8 man-sized appetites for 10 days. Needless to say, I'm sure fathers see us coming and hide their daughters and mothers keep their infants close as if a herd of elephants was roaming loose through the aisles. With one cart stacked full of Price Chopper brand 3-liters of pop and the other maxed out with produce, dry goods and enough meat to make even Ron Jeremy blush we make our way to the check-out where we undoubtedly provide the most entertainment any cashier has seen in months. In the distance we see the poor high school-age bag-boys casting lots to see who's unlucky enough to have to bag the metric ton of items we purchase. The groceries alone are packed in enough plastic bags to kill 1,000 baby seals (maybe one year we'll spring for paper).

Directly across the street from the 'Chopper lies the Jug, providing the last best opportunity to refill any liquor and wine needs. For beer there is no where better than A&M Beverage, buying a half barrel of Genny and doing everything possible to "bring the keg back the right way eh" so we don't have to suffer the indignity of bringing back anything but an empty keg to that heavy set guy with the cool scar and funky Canadian/Northern New England accent.

Most Chateaugay veteran's know that we don't actually spend much time in the actual town of Chateaugay. Even so, it does still have its place in our memories. Whether its good natured Catholic kindness, our enthusiastic singing of the hymns, our portable amature EMT skills or the fact that we lower the average age by about 30 years, we always seem to recieve a warm welcome at St. Patrick's Church on Sunday mornings. Following Sunday Mass, tradition leads us to the breakfast buffet at the Cherry-Knoll where Don Mattingly is God in the shrine of the late 80's early 90's Bronx Bombers (Make sure you get a glass of whole milk and a slice of pie).

As for attractions closer to camp The Hollywood proves to be the lake's only oasis, providing a boat-accessable gas pump. I'm sure they're all too thrilled with a pontoon full of guys all smoking cigars pulling up to their station ready to fill 'er up on overpriced gasoline. Considering they're the only gas station in a 20 mile radius, it is a small price to pay. Another oft had tradition is the annual go-to-Martin's Bait & Tackle-and-buy-a-fishing-license-just-to-make-sure-no-one-ever-catches-another-pike-ever adventure. One year, in an effort to be health-conscience we even created the Martin's Bait & Tackle Road Race but due to an unfortunate injury the competition was called off and never repeated.

Of course the two hot-spots by the lake would have to be, Harrigan's by day and the Owly Out by night. For a mid-week taste of local night-life or an illegal (aledgedly) poker operation, the Owly Out is the place to go. Featuring moderate beverage prices, pool, make-shift karaoke and a chance at interacting with Counselors from Camp Chateaugay, the Owly Out is a nice place to visit but if its mid-day or early evening cream that you crave or possibly a last supper on the last night before making the early morning departure on the way back home, Harrigan's is the place for you. Now, for those of us in the mid-west, a local ice-cream/grill shop is nothing new or special but with a helmet-clad crew trying to order a slim jim flurry, the occasional stretch Hummer limo, piling 4 dudes in the back of a Caddy (while one is dropping medly), Mr. Toad's wild ride home and getting shot down by the locals, both the Owly Out and Harrigan's provide a nice change of pace to an otherwise secluded vacation.

The local attractions are just one of the many reasons we love Chateaugay Lake.

#9 The Cemetary

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:55:00 +0000

After a long hiatus we continue the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay mancation:

#9 The Cemetary

As if being out in the middle of the woods by a lake in an ancient cottage built by some of the worst deathrow inmates in the state wasn't enough to draw comparisons to the setting of a horror fim. Just a few hundred yards away lies a cemetary that serves as the final resting place to dozens of pople from the Civil War era. The creepiest being a set of triplets all dying in a 3 year window.

Now, one would think that the fact that you can see the headstones from the dock would be enough of an eerie reminder of the possibility of the paranormal, add to that the stories told by the Ryan family about a certain "visitor". According to eyewitness accounts, several "Greyface" sightings have been noted peeking in windows late at night at the cottage.

No week in Chateaugay would be complete without a late night trip through the woods, a test of fortitude to be certain. Men make the long walk at night, real men make the trek with no flashlight and yet only one man has ever done it alone. One year during a traditional trip to the graveyard, several people claim to have seen a little girl crossing their path into the woods by the grave yard. The story goes that she walked by, stopped to look at them and then made her way into the forest with no flashlight, wearing pajamas in the middle of the night. Other times have been marked by tiki-torches, shirtless expeditions, blinding cobwebs, deer, lost wallets and cuddling on the path.

Packed full of tradition and memories, the Cemetary is just another reason we love Chateaugay Lake Mancation.

#10 The Drive

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 02 May 2009 14:14:00 +0000

Continuing the series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation:

#10 The Drive

At first glance an 11+ hour drive (almost 14 for Cincinnatians) each way would seem like the bane of any traveler's vacation, but with any true pilgrimage, the journey is has its own place in the adventure. Yes, just like migratory birds heading north for the summer, we load into various vehicles and travel the same roads, stopping at the same landmarks year after year. From the first stop in Erie, PA to the bittersweet passage through 2 states only to realize there's still about 8 hours left to go. Then passing through the western tip of New York you see decieving signs for Chautauqua Lake giving us all an instant of false hope, thinking we had reached our destination. Next is the required stop at the Angola Service station just outside of Buffalo where the prices are more inflated than a blowfish at the zoo after the six year old banged on his tank for too long. (Some conversations overheard at the McDonald's at said service station "I'll have a McDouble, fries and a drink off the $5 menu." "Wow, only $12.50 for a Big Mac value meal?") After a quick gas stop and a right turn at Buffalo, Rochester passes by and then Syracuse. As Watertown approaches, the goal is in sight. One last stop for food at the Ft. Drum McDonalds (whether you're hungry or not) and its on to the last major leg. Traveling through Gouverneur (where keeping it "all in the family" takes on a whole new meaning), Canton and Pottsdam taking 11b regardless of what Google maps, Mapquest and AAA say is faster you go this way because Steve Ryan says so... and because its tradition. One last chuckle as the route takes you through the towns of Bangor and West Bangor then its on to Malone (or the last bit of "civilization" you'll see) for the supply stop. Only the nescessities on this shopping trip, a case of beer, food for the next day and toilet paper, the rest comes tomorrow, but right now its down the home stretch to camp. The rest of the trip is quite magical, in the daytime there is one moment where the trees and houses open up and you have a crystal clear view of the lake in all its splendor with the tees and mountians in the background. For me, that's when I know I've arrived. Then its a few minutes until you make the right turn past those timeless white lightposts, down the unpaved road through the woods to the Ryan-Hyland compound just as you had left it 12 months ago. Congratulations, you have just entered the timewarp, you have just arrived in God's country.

All seriousness aside, some of the great Mancation memories have come from the drive, whether its overnight, during the day or some combination of both. John and Brian making the trip from Baltimore... The 6 degrees of Carrie Ewles... Patrick's gobbler, showing up with his Bronson Arroyo hat and Ryan Freel's dirty shirt...Joking about "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd all week only to have it play on the radio 5 minutes from home...Jered, Ken and me all squeezing into Gary's Caddy and having the seat attack him like a scene out of Star Wars...Ken's all night at the helm... who can forget cracking jokes while eating at the Erie, PA McDonald's, passing through Bangor, or passing by the "Local Honey" shack. Of course just about everyone of us has had some bathroom emergency, from having to spill beans at a Bob Evans to having to urinate like a thouroughbread one hour away from your final destination. Anything I'm missing?

That's why the drive is one of the reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation.

#12 & #11 The Music, The Piano and Sing-Alongs

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:31:00 +0000

Continuing the series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation:

#12 & #11 The Music, The Piano and Sing-Alongs

For all who've experienced the joy of Chateaugay in late June, you know that the daily boat-ride through the narrows, past the sandbar to the upper lake would not be complete without one man

Neil

Lovescape is possibly the most listened to album while on the lake. When I hear "If There Were No Dreams", "Mountains of Love", "When You Miss Your Love", "Fortune of the Night" and others I can almost pinpoint an exact location on the lake associated with those songs. Partly sunny skies, breezy, a cigar in one hand, a Bubba-Keg in the other and Neil playing on the radio reflects the laid-back, down to earth, yet sophisticated style of a Chateaugay boat ride.

Of course no true Chateaugay evening would be complete without the sounds of horseshoes crashing into the iron in sync with the opening tune of the 10th Anniversary Recording of Les Miserables. Throughout the week the timbre of Neil Diamond and the Bert Lahr-esque croons of Colm Wilkinson are 2 staples of the wide variety of music that comprises the soundtrack of Chateaugay. Matisyahu to Skid Row, Derek Webb to Jekyll & Hyde set the tone from lunch time on the porch to evenings around the grill.

Another part of the music surrounding Chateaugay comes from the 100+ year-old upright piano that magically stays in tune while experiencing temperature extremes from the single digits to the low 80's. Everyone gets a chance to sing along side the ole' rough and ready, from the whole group singing Uncle Jim's Irish drinking songs to Kenny Ken's extended rockstar fermatas, duets, solos and even a piece of classical piano courtesy of the Maestro. On occasion even JOB has been known to tickle the skins, but if you're really lucky you'll see special guest Pat Ryan on guitar. No matter what, the presence of a Piano and/or a radio provides all the entertainment needed on a week-long vacation without such modern distractions as TVs, cell phones or the internets making the music, the piano and sing-alongs reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation.

#14 The Food and #13 The Grill

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:41:00 +0000

Part 5 of the ongoing series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation

#14 The Food and #13 The Grill

Is it the location, the grill, the Price Chopper food or the communal effort that makes the Chateaugay Cuisine so special? Where else does the thought of eating red Glazier's Hot Dogs (in "natural" casings) on New England style split-top buns topped with Easy-Cheese and Nance's Mustard every day for lunch sound like a great idea? No where else but Chateaugay. There must be something special about the yearly Mancation to make Triscuits, easy cheese, wicked sharp cheddar & Genesee Cream Ale "gourmet" snacks. Nothing would make any man's week complete without artery-clogging goodness. From Dolly Parton-sized BBQ Chicken Breasts to 12lbs of Pork Loin complete with the Chef's special Au Jus, each of us consume enough protein to put a Sumo Wrestler's diet to shame. Add that to the massive amount of McCadam Cheese (both brick and curds) consumed and its no wonder a trip to the bathroom can be considered a full-day event.

All of this, of course is made possible by Executive Chef, Jered and the communal efforts of the rest of the crew. Whether the menu consists of the Ryan's famous 2lbs Chateaugay Fatburgers, or Kenny Ken's signature pasta, one factor" continues to be the silent partner in the collaborative miracle that is a Mancation dinner: The Grill.

It has been said that there has never been a bad meal cooked on The Grill (not just any grill but The Grill) and any attempt to replace it has been in vain. Nothing is more manly than various meats on a good ole' fashioned charcoal grill in the summer. Add that to a good cigar, horseshoes, camaraderie, tunes and plenty of cold drinks and you have one sweet recipe. If the porch is where the issues of the world are discussed, around the grill is where the joys of life, nature and man-hood are shared and experienced... at least until it is time to do the dishes...

Epic Amounts of Pork at Chateaugay

Stuff Eric Likes

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 13:58:00 +0000

Have you ever been to StuffChristiansLike.net? It might just change your life... seriously I llol (literally laugh out loud) on a daily basis. From talk about the tankini to the side hug Jon Acuff keeps the hilarity flowing like (insert funny reference here).

We're almost to the tax filing deadline and admittedly I have yet to start my taxes. Speaking of taxes, well, not really but speaking of money, mint.com is a great site to get your stuff in order and if you need to stay out of debt check out Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, it might just change your life. My wife and I chipped away at out $5,ooo in credit card debt in a little over a year and you can too.

Check out my friend Jered's blog good stuff on beer, culture and some real gritty issues, glad to have him back in the saddle. Also a new comer to the blog-o-sphere check out a guy getting his feet wet.

Of course no list of mine could be complete without mentioning two of my weekly hangouts. Postsecret.com excellent social commentary, humanity at its most raw and Zero Punctuation, if you're a gamer you'll love it (unless you're a fanboy). Check them out.

What sites do you like?

#15 The Porch

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:44:00 +0000

Part 4 of the ongoing series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation

#15 The Porch

If you stop to consider what makes Chateaugay Chateaugay (in all its glory, wonder and awe), the porch has to be a dark horse in the running. At first glance the outsider would say, "what's so special about a screened in porch?" but this is is no ordinary house-extension. This porch is the ultimate time-warp, it seems from year to year everything seems to stay the same, none of the furniture matches (in style and decade), there are fishing poles that span the evolution range of the sport and of course the dreaded hanging glass windows of death (in all fairness one side was recently replaced with lighter, safer plexiglass, but I digress).

Many of the best Chateaugay moments were spent on that porch. From mid-day naps on the comfiest couch in the world, to a cigars, Maxims & novels afternoon on a rainy day the porch is the staple, the Grand Central Station if you will, of camp. All activities start from the porch. It is the place where Steve's morning coffee and smoke in "his chair" (or so I am told, since no of us are ever up early enough to witness it), lunch, cheese, evening cigars, conversations and other events (like the TOB) take place.

Who can forget Pat's leftovers-turned-gourmet-midnight snacks, "mellow" moments, smoking the Ming, the TOB ('06-'08 editions), trying to hammer out Pat's best man speech, introducing Uncle Jim to a wider variety of cigars, yelling at Pat to hurry up either into or from the porch, hearing him respond with something followed by "right quick", searching every nook and cranny to see where the bugs were getting in only to realize that a whole window was out.

The porch is where some of the essential Chateaugay bonds are formed whether the topic is girls, cigars or God, quite reflection or deep discussion, life happens on the porch. From the time we wake up and groggily stumble down for lunch to the evening conversations before we head to bed, the porch is the steady constant just waiting for us to return- to reconnect- to rejuvenate in the timeless treasure that is the Chateaugay Mancation.

#16 Horse Shoes (and other competitive activities)

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:47:00 +0000

Part 3 of the ongoing series on the 18 reasons we love Chateaugay Mancation

#16 Horse Shoes (and other competitive activities)

Ah yes, what night at camp would be complete without the sound of horseshoes on the iron? As much of a staple on a Chateaugay Mancation as impounded colons and clogged arteries, the nightly games if horseshoes have been the source of innumerable moments that make or break you as a man. That pit has seen its share of ups and downs when it comes to shoes. JOB's aerial tree-branch cutters and ground-scorching rolling-end-over-enders have shared the same sand as Pat Ryan's perfect one-backwards-turn iron seeking missiles. From the very first "night game" cooking dinner and tossing shoes has been a not-oft-missed ritual, forging and strengthening friendships while the visiting team of Pat and Chad pulling up in the Garbage Barge and cleaning Camp Tekakwitha's clock is sure to plant the seeds of bitterness. Never the less, the competition and camaraderie of a spirited shoes match with a cold beverage in a bubba-keg, Chateaugay cheese and a cigar is second to none.

Competition itself is at the core of an all-guys vacation. Whether it is going all in on a pair of aces or paregoric in head-to-head no limit poker for the bracelet, eating 7 Michigans just to break Brandon's record, running the 1 and 2 coded offense during a "friendly" football game and debating whether or not you were touched with both hands, sacrificing intestinal integrity to record the longest Keg-stand time, vying for the title of "second-best athlete here", trying to win the wiffle-ball home run derby in the sandlot while being attacked by malaria-infested mosquitoes or chasing down the "pike that got away", competition and camp go hand and hand.

Just remember, we're all out here to have a good time regardless of how long its been since you've swung the wrenches around and at the end of the day it doesn't matter if we've been in the boat freezing our nipples off waiting for "just one more drift" (even though there hasn't been a single bite all day) or we're watching you whiff on the first tee (after joking about it the whole way to the golf course) at the end of the day there will always be a game of shoes, a beverage in a bubba-keg, Chateaugay cheese and a cigar waiting for you.

Horse Shoes (and other competitive activities) are just another reason why we love the Chateaugay Mancation.

#17 Uncle Jim

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:33:00 +0000

This is part 2 in the 18 reasons to love Chateaugay Mancation.

#17 Uncle Jim

As the obvious follow up to #18 (Pat Ryan), Jim Ryan (aka, Uncle Jim or the Colonel), father of the great Pat Ryan, oldest of the Ryan boys is another reason why to love camp. Staying in a cabin so modern in comparison to the rustic feel of our beloved Camp Tekakwitha that it might as well be a location for the next Sci-Fi Channel original movie (The place does have Television and Dial-Up internet).

Uncle Jim's classic and memorable moments include the extremely early serenade of "Oh What a Beautiful Morning", outside the porch, his choice of cigars ("'What kind of cigar are you smoking Uncle Jim?' 'This is a Phillie's Blunt, Strawberry Flavor, GREAT cigar, GREAT cigar'"), his Borntrager-esque horseshoe skills, affinity for Knoppogue Castle Irish Whiskey, ability to fall asleep during any conversation, offering his famous o' dark thirty pancake breakfast (of which I think we've managed to get up for one) and his penchant for over-the-top nicknames like "Clydesdale" for anyone who can master to loosen the lug nuts on the old Eagle-clunker...

Uncle Jim has a heart as big as the lake itself, he is the de-facto camp historian and takes more pride the family history than anyone. Camp would not be camp without the Colonel.

25 Random Things About Me

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:31:00 +0000

So I've fallen victim to the facebook-meme curse

1. I always finish what I start, follow-through is very important to me and it is something that I pride myself on.

2. I think Bananas are shy, Pineapples are contemplative and Apples are the most social fruit.

3. Given the choice between sneezing skittles and burping popcorn I would choose to fart confetti .

4. I play the drums but they don't know it so lets keep this between us.

5. I believe that pulling a band-aid off quickly is a cop-out.

6. I really want to try to eat so many vegetables that I get sick. Then I can say that vegetables aren't good for me.

7. If you've never realized how stupid the saying "give yourself a pat on the back" really is, try it... no seriously, try it... there now, don't you feel retarded? (OK so that wasn't about me, but I had to get that off my chest)

8. I prefer black beans over any other type of bean.

9. My name last spelled backwards is Smailliw.

10. I think I may have Enissophobia, so don't judge me OK.

11. I get distracted easily and tend to lose my train of...

12. I own a black trench coat and I really liked to wear it... until those punks at Columbine ruined it for me.

13. I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

14. I think its weird that every concession stand has the token jar of huge pickles and yet I don't know anyone who buys them...ever. On that note, I guess I would find it very awkward to watch someone eat a pickle... or a banana for that matter. I'm not sure any guy could look masculine eating either a gigantic pickle or banana, that's why I have personally boycotted the eating of such items.

15. I believe I am unique just like everybody else.

16. I took a bathroom break after typing #15 and almost dropped my phone in the toilet, that would have been a disaster.

17. I love my wife Abby for the weirdest things, like the random conversations she has in her sleep like the one time she told me that this was her home town (we were not in her home town by the way) and she was proud of it no matter what our dog says. Or the time she woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that things were not right because she wasn't sure who took her chalupa.

18. I often wonder why a collection of mixed fruit it called a "fruit cocktail" while a collection of mixed vegetables are called a "vegetable medley".

19. I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and have the glass in front be a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

20. I am slightly obsessive about making as many right turns as possible while driving. It actually freaks me out if my commute is made up of all left turns, I can't handle it emotionally.

21. This should have been titled "20 Random Things About Me"

22. I like to rock and roll all night, and part of everyday. But not the whole day because I might have stuff to do later.

23. The most random phrase I can think of right now is "Tomahawk-doorknob". Which is what I think of everytime I need something random to say.

24. I always use the handicapped stall in restrooms mostly because it is my way of getting back at them for parking in our parking spots.

25.

Quotes that are relevant to me right now

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:33:00 +0000

Here are some quotes from an old journal I found, some have sources others have been lost to time.

"We subscribe to false gospels that are troubling our souls. Because we live in a constant sales environment where we are told a certain car will make us sexy or a certain dish-washing detergent will be a miracle for our dishes, we assume the gospel of Jesus works the same way, that is, if we invest something, we get something more back. But this is not the case. To understand what the Bible explains Jesus' gospel to be, we must look to each other, to the way a father interacts with a child, a bride to a bridegroom, a doctor to a patient. When we let go of the idea of Jesus as a product and embrace Him as a being, our path to spiritual maturity begins."

"Having met the enemy, I discovered the enemy wasn’t who I thought they were. They were flawed, even as we were flawed, but they were no less patriotic, and no less good. And what’s more, they weren’t out to get us like my conservative friends had told me. I began to see, honestly, the far conservative right, the radical right (not the balanced, objective right) as being paranoid. The advertisements on conservative radio talk shows were about guns and alarm systems."

-Donald Miller

"We should not be arrogant victims who seek vengeance, but wounded healers willing and ready to forgive."

-Unknown

"All scripture is equally inspired but not equally important...All scripture is not equally aplicable for every stage of life"

"Our church is not sacred, our mission is."

"Are we the church of the loving father (in reference to the parable of the prodigal son from Luke 16) or the older brother...How would the story have been different if it had been the older brother waiting at the doorstep?"

-Reggie Joiner

"Leadership is a stewardship, it is temporary and I am accountable."
-Andy Standley

"The story already has a star and it is not you or I... We have a supporting role in the greatest story ever told"

-Brian McLaren

"Notice how many places in the accounts of Jesus’ life he gets frustrated with his disciples. Because they are incapable? No, because of how capable they are. He sees what they could be and could do, and when they fall short it provokes him to no end. It isn’t their failure that’s the problem, it’s their greatness. They don’t realize what they are capable of....God has an amazingly high view of people. God believes that people are capable of amazing things. I’ve been told I need to believe in Jesus. Which is a good thing. But what I’m learning is that Jesus believes in me....God has faith in me."

-Rob Bell

"Born again is an overused term that really means we should rethink our position, start over and be fully dependant on God as if we were born again as infants"

Christmas in the Carribean

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 14:39:00 +0000

Spending this week in Vieques (a small island off the coast of Puerto Rico) with my family, I have started to realize how much the media and society pushes the commercial view of Christmas. As I woke up this morning, no snow on the ground, no Christmas tree, no exorbitant pile of needless crap wrapped in gaudy paper and it made me feel like this was... Thursday... nothing more. Nothing is different from any other day here, the waves are still playing tag with the shoreline, the birds still float in the air like kites and the sun continues to play peek-a-boo with the clouds. Other than the "Contemporary Holiday Hits" playing on the Sirius XM Radio there is no sign of Christmas, no sign of commemorating the birth of Christ, no Three Kings, no Angel of the Lord appearing to shepherds watching their flock, no plastic nativity scene with Joseph wearing a pink sash. Nothing.

I have always been in a setting where Christmas (well, the commercial representation of it anyway) dominated everything from Thanksgiving until the we discard the season on the curb with the rest of the trash on December 26th. This year is different, strip away the glitz and hubbub drummed up by societal pressures to buy into yet another superficial season and all you have is life. Unchanged, unfazed, unabashed life.

I have never felt closer to the true meaning of Christmas.

Although I hate cliche's like that, I will stomach it for this example. Life goes on uninterrupted, God goes on as He always has, since the moment in the Mountains of the Middle East where Moses' inquiry elicits a response from God. "Tell them 'I am' has sent you". God tells Moses to tell his people that the One who has always been and always will be has sent him.

Amazing.

God always has been and always will be. Just like the waves on the beach, a seemingly endless ebb and flow. A constant song in the background, a timeless reminder that like the movements of the ocean, God is. God was. God will always be.

Just the Issues

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:47:00 +0000

With all of the negative ad campaigning going on, I thought I would just focus on the issues. Based on what I've seen in the media this election, here is what your vote really means.

A vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin is:
A vote for racism
A vote for corporations & big business
A vote for oil companies
A vote for a quasi-demopublican
A vote against the poor
A vote against labor
A vote against jobs
A vote for George W. Bush
A vote for fear-mongering
A vote for 4 more years of the same
A vote against Civil Rights (he voted against a national holiday for MLK Jr.)
A vote against a woman's right to choose
A vote for the rich getting richer
A vote for rash and impulsive recklessness
A vote for lobbyists
A vote for Rod Parsley, John Hagee and other radical right-wing conservative Christians
A vote against the environment
A vote against conservation
A vote for intolerance
A vote for war-mongering
A vote for an uber-rich, out of touch, aging senior citizen and an inexperienced, air-headed, gun-toting hockeymom
A vote for empty promises
A vote against the UN
A vote for an increasing national debt
A vote for corruption (Keating Five)
A vote for the unknown

A vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden is:
A vote for terrorists
A vote for socialized medicine
A vote for higher taxes
A vote for socialism
A vote for Marxism
A vote for Government control of private citizens
A vote for killing babies
A vote for the United Citizens Party (who also nominated a Socialist Party candidate in 2004)
A vote against national security
A vote for inexperience
A vote for the Democrats trifecta, holding the House, Senate and Presidency
A vote for "redistribution of wealth"
A vote against Isreal
A vote against the 2nd amendment
A vote for Rashid Khalidi, Yasir Arafat, William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Hamas, Fidel Castro,
A vote for the Anti-Christ
A vote against the troops
A vote for more federal spending
A vote against small business
A vote for judicial activism
A vote for partisan politics
A vote for the most liberal voting senator
A vote for pragmatism
A vote against family values
A vote for empty promises
A vote for the unknown

Making the Right Turns

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 14:54:00 +0000

I know that I catch a lot of flack from passengers in my car because of my semi-neurotic obsession with choosing a right-turn route over a left turn route. Well as it turns out, UPS has been making a point of turning right almost 90% of the time in their routes. This has lead to shorter idling time and has saved the company upwards of 3 million gallons of fuel per year.

Not only do right turns save gas, but they also help save commute time. So next time you're behind the wheel and looking at the rising gas prices at the pump, remember to make the "right turn" whenever possible.

Universal Truths

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:21:00 +0000

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
At the end of every wild college-party there is always a girl crying.
Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back yard, unless you live in an apartment, then it is definitely against the law.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat (note: wet dog smell is an accurate description of a wet dog, but there is no such thing as wet cat smell)
Poking a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Rummaging in overgrown grass will always turn up a bouncy ball.
You always feel a bit scared when petting horses, maybe its their huge bowling ball eye.
It is impossible to look tough while drinking out of a straw
Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mom or dad
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
Every man, has, at some stage, while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop will always be in your pants
Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
Its impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee or while tossing back an item after an errant throw to the people playing "catch".
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. Or when you're at someone else's house and the toilet water starts to come up before going down
No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
The most painful household incident is stubbing your toe on the edge of the bed/coffee table/hope chest etc.
People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
Everyone has an aunt who is a "cheek pincher"
Bricks are horrible to carry.
In every order of french fries there is a fry that looks like it had been sitting on the surface of the sun.

Who's Been On Notice This Week?

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 10 May 2008 19:47:00 +0000

First off, Cyclones: Stop trying to fool us, just call it a hurricane. The average American doesn't know the difference and those in the Cincinnati area think you're talking about ECHL Hockey. Overheard last weekend in Cincinnati "I have no idea where this Myanmar team came from but the Cyclones sure crushed 'em!". (All joking aside, if you'd like to support the relief efforts in Myanmar UNICEF and World Vision are both accepting donations) Seriously, "Tropical Cyclone Nargis" doesn't sound nearly as devastating as "Hurricane Nargis".

Is anyone else appalled by this talk about the possibility of the first FeMinority President? (that's right, I combined Female and Minority into one word, recognize the skills) Am I the only one that doesn't think that race or gender should matter in a presidential election? For some reason people think being a minority or a woman gives you super-leadership and presidential-y powers... I think not. I'd buy it if this was an athletic event or cooking/parenting competition then I would be all for this perceived advantage.

Did anyone outside of Ohio hear about the newest $.23 pizza apology/marketing ploy from Papa Johns? Basically someone had a great idea to make up No. 23 T-shirts with the word "Crybaby" and the Papa John's logo, which Washington Wizards fans flaunted during Friday's playoff game in Washington DC in reference to Lebron James complaining about hard fouls during the last playoff series.

So what did Papa Johns do? They gave a public apology and offered $.23 pizzas for customers in the Cleveland, Toledo & Columbus areas. Nice, just goes to show that if you whine and cry enough you'll get your way (and $.23 large, single topping, pizzas from Papa Johns).

Oh, and what the hell is PETA doing? I understand being all weepy over the whipping of race horses, but calling for the suspension of Gabriel Saez (the jockey of Eight Belles, who was euthanized shortly after breaking both ankles after finishing second in the Kentucky Derby) is just really stupid. While I agree that this tragedy should help pave the way for safer surfaces, PETA just needs to settle down and take a breath, as long as it does not abuse an animal or insect in the process.

Mother's Day is right around the corner... do we really need to make it an official holiday? I thought every day was Mother's Day... but maybe that's just me.

Bomb-Diggity: Like "Your Mom" jokes were to 2007 bomb-diggity is the "retro-bring-back-phrase" of 2008. Pass it on, because we're bringing it back.

Conforming Non-Conformist: Yeah, I get it, you're a rebel just like all your friends. Its a good thing you aren't one of those mindless sheep wearing what everyone else wears just like the rest of your hippie-crew. In reality you just want to shock people with your statements and "original" thoughts... Here's a clue be different, be eclectic, just because you don't agree with "pop-culture" doesn't make you any less or a conformist (or hypocrite) than the other 6 billion sheep on the planet. Oh and cut that emo-bang, you look like a tool. Oh, and while you're at it, cut the self-loathing crap, if you're reading this, you have a computer, or you have access to a computer so you live better than most of the world. Your life is great. Stop thinking about your own piddly little issues, step back and take a look around this world. Don't start getting all upset about how you live so good and don't do enough for others either... that's still your self-centered self-loathing sneaking in on the other side. If you're always bogged down in the negative when can anything good happen? But go ahead call me a conformist who doesn't see your pain. Tell me I don't understand or that I'm out of touch, just keep focusing on your self-loathing so you don't really have to deal with the real issues that make your life suck. Maybe you're really just afraid of what it would take to change yourself instead of blaming everyone else for your poor whiny woe-is-me existence.

Peace.

Gun-Shy Control

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:48:00 +0000

Mountains On The Ocean Floor
Words and music by Andrew Peterson
(I Samuel 16:7, Revelation 2:17, Romans 7:15-25, Phillipians 1:6)

My uncle’s in the county jail

His time is on his hands

He knows he chose a barren cell

Over a fair and fertile land

He took another hit

He hit another high

He flew until he fell

Just like he has a thousand times

Nothing ever seems to change

But miles away beneath the waves

There are mountains

Mountains on the ocean floor

They’re rising from the deep

But no one ever sees

No one ever sees

I can’t believe I landed there

I swear I swore it off

I know that I can’t stand it here

Still I came and took a fall

I wish that I could shake it

I wish that I was free

I wish that I was half the man

I wish that I could be

There are mountains

Mountains on the ocean floor

They’re moving up so slow

No one ever knows

No one ever knows

Nothing ever seems to change

But miles away beneath the waves

Down below the dirt

Hotter than a flame

In the belly of the earth

He has given you a Name

There are mountains

Mountains on the ocean floor

They’re rising from the deep

Where no one ever sees

There are mountains

They’re hidden there beneath the waves

They’re moving up so slow

No one ever knows

There’s a molten heart of stone

That is waiting to explode

Only God can see it grow

Baseball Ettiquite

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 07 May 2008 15:17:00 +0000

Since the Baseball season is in full swing (pun intended) my good friend Jered (check out his blog jeredryan.blogspot.com) and I decided to discuss fan ettiquite online today...

J: What's proper foul ball etiquette? Are you obligated to give one to a kid? Is it ok to mug for the camera if you catch one on about six bounces? Is it cool for a 30 year old to bring a glove? We'll discuss today.

Me: I don't think you are obligated to give it to a kid unless one is in your group one of your nieces for instance and only if she brought her mitt

J: but what if you took the kid out to get it?

Me: but I think you have to stick to a one ball limit...once you acquire a second it needs to be given up... or used in various graphic gestures towards the other team

Are you in the family section?

J: no

Me: is it a boy under 13 or a girl under 15?

J: yes

Me: I think once it becomes apparent that you have to move more than a row forward or backward or over 7 or more seats laterally you must take a brief check of the competition, no man over 18 should pursue a ball further than that distance if kids of said gender/age are also in pursuit unless you're in the bleachers and its totally empty then its like a war zone

Is that issue closed? on to number 2?

J: On to 2 . . .

Me: *Is it ok to mug for the camera if you catch one on about six bounces?*
The only reason to mug for the camera is if you catch the ball bare-handed, if you acquire the ball without spilling the beer in your dominant hand or no more than half of said beer in the non-dominant hand. Or if the ball hits another member of your group, then you are obligated to show more excitement for catching the ball than you show concern for your buddy's well-being

J: well said

Me: #3?

J: yes

me: *Is it cool for a 30 year old to bring a glove*

I'm torn on this one... i say yes

but I think the cut-off point is once you bring kids it is no longer acceptable to don the mitt

Also, you shouldn't bring a mitt if you're bringing your girl friend/significant other

J: really? A glove makes you seem kinda gay

Me: Baseball is a kids game, its nostalgic, a glove, hat & jersey add to that...now if you're with a chick its different no mitt

I think if you "look" like you can play then you can bring a mitt or if you look like you have played in the last year.

The whole point of bringing the mitt is just in case all the reserve players go down with some injury, the manager can pull you out of the crowd... after all, he's already seen your mad skills catching that ball off your buddy's head and imagine if you're at a Reds game and Dusty Baker picks you out of the crowd and says he needs you at short stop... how embarrassed would you be telling him "no" because you left your mitt at home

J: good point. . . that makes sense

Two Lies

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Wed, 07 May 2008 02:34:00 +0000

1. The Republican Party is Jesus' Party, GOP has the endorsement of GOD.

2. The Democrats are all about the common man and honestly care about the plight of the poor for reasons other than political gain.

WHEN FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS ATTACK: Heath Ledger

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:23:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfC07XvNgWM
Now this is just my opinion as I see the situation:

The same homosexual sex is a sin

Hating or judging others is a sin

Anyone who sins is falling short of God's standard and therefore all sin is equal. There is no way to argue degrees of sin since no sin gets anyone "closer" to God's standard.

All sin is the same in God's eyes

The job of a Christian or a Church is to point to God, whether that be by words, actions vocation etc.

My job is to love others and show them Christ.

I am not the one who gets to pass judgement nor should I assume I know what said judgement would be. The "original sin" was disobeying God and presuming to know better/more than God... we all know that never ends well.

Jesus/God loves everyone no matter what their sin

God loves Heath Ledger

God loves heterosexual people as much as He loves homosexuals... God loves people, period.

That also means God loves those who spew hate in His name.

Michael Jackson Captain Eo

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:10:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kBeD1L_nd4

This may make me really lame, but going to Disney Land and seeing Captain EO as a kid was a dream come true and one of my favorite memories. Too bad the guy is a certified wacko now...

But at least I can look back on these memories fondly (no pun intended).

Know Your Meme: LOL Cats

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 23:34:00 +0000

I know its rudimentary, I know it may be degrading our nation's already declining literacy rate and incouraging "text-speak" and other forms of incorrect grammer...

BUT

There is something so darn cute about LOL Cats.

Notcie: I am not promoting Mike Huckabee...

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 23:26:00 +0000

...but in this age of political slam-ads, this is a refreshing and welcomed alternative. It seems like politicians are in the business of telling us who they are not instead of who they are and what they stand for. Here's an idea, tell us where you stand on issues and what your plans are to improve the country. Far fetched? Maybe.

Um, Yeah

noreply@blogger.com (Eric) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 23:08:00 +0000

So I was totally wrong about my Football predictions... I admit I was wrong...WAAAAAY wrong.