This is Part 2 of a previous post dealing with haters. You can read the first one by clicking here.

Haters are everywhere. Every corner or step up in your life you’ll probably encounter a hater. It’s nothing new and it won’t be the last time that you deal with one.

The most important thing is to learn how to deal with them when you encounter one.

In Mark 10:46-52 Bartimaeus encountered a barrage of haters. It wasn’t just one that he dealt with. He dealt with a herd. Haters often congregate together because they’re usually not happy being unhappy by themselves.

Step 1: Learn To Ignore the Haters in Your Life

Haters are easy to identify in your life:

• Haters are blind to your potential.
• Haters will always remind you of where you’ve come from.
• Haters will remind you of the mistakes you’ve made.
• Hates will always talk behind your back.
• Haters will always tell you to shut up because you don’t have anything valuable to say.

The reality is that we spend too much time responding to haters in our lives. You don’t have to respond to what haters say about you. There are too many people in your life who actually like and appreciate what you’re doing.

If someone is talking behind you’re back, then let them because behind your back is the best place for them. If you keep going far enough you’ll eventually leave them in your past! (Read that again!)

Question: Is there someone in your life you need to ignore?

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Having haters in your life is inevitable, especially if you’re trying to do something significant. If you have them in your life it’s usually a good sign that you’re headed in the right direction or doing something right.

Webster defines haters as, “A person that simply cannot he happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.”

Haters often act like jerks to those around them and because they are miserable they want everyone else to be miserable too. Since haters have a hard time being happy about their lives it’s impossible for them to be happy about yours.

There’s a great story in the Bible that shows us how to deal with haters and how to get past them. It’s found in Mark 10:46-52,

⁴⁶ Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. ⁴⁷ When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

⁴⁸ Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

⁴⁹ Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” ⁵⁰ Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

⁵¹ “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

⁵² “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

In this story Bartimaeus was trying to get the attention of Jesus. He was trying to get closer to him.

Don’t be surprised when the more you want to draw closer to God in your life the more haters you’ll have.

Haters don’t like being made uncomfortable. Hater’s want to keep you down on the mat.

Let’s get some background before we get too far into this. The name “Timaeus” means “unclean or contaminated.” It could also mean “son of blindness”. Imagine growing up your whole life and your name means “unclean or contaminated.” You know he was picked on in school!

He came from a contaminated background or family. He was born on the wrong side of tracks.

Bartimaeus was blind, which means he couldn’t have a vision for a future. He grew up with people reminding him that he had no future. Every time someone said his name it was a harsh reminder of his future.

The good news is that one encounter with Jesus changed all this!

All everyone saw was the “son of a blind man.” They didn’t see what Jesus saw in him.

Hater’s are blind to other people’s potential. It’s interesting that those yelling at Bartimaeus were blind as well!

If you’re dealing with haters, then you’re in good company.

In the next couple of posts were going to discuss the specific steps that it takes to deal with haters in your life. Stay tuned and sign up to get them by email!

In a few days it will be Father’s Day. During this time I’m always challenged to become a better father and husband. One of the best ways to do this is to learn from the successes and failures of others. This is best achieved by reading. I’m an avid reader and have a book list for every year. With this in mind, I was thinking about some of the best books that have helped me.

Many of these books are geared towards men, but many I think everyone should read. In any case, here is the list:

1. The Circle Maker – Mark Batterson
2. Praying Circles Around Your Children – Mark Batterson (I actually share a personal story in this book! It’s worth every cent!)
3. Wild At Heart – John Eldredge (This is an old book, but it changed my life!)
4. Spiritual Leadership – Henry & Richard Blackaby
5. The Search For Significance – Robert S. McGee
6. Four Pillars Of A Man’s Heart – Stu Weber
7. Draw The Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge – Mark Batterson
8. Tough Guys & Drama Queens – Mark Gregston
9. When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job From Cheating Your Family – Andy Stanley
10. Every Man’s Battle – Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker

These are some of the books that have really challenged me and helped me to grow as a man. If you haven’t read these, then you should start.

Question: What books would you recommend for a man to read?

Disclaimer: These are affiliate links so any book you buy I will earn a commission to help support my “feed the children fund”!

Unsurrendered pain to God will destroy us, while pain surrendered to God is given back to us as a blessing. See Romans 8:28

Eric Speir

Sometimes God says no. It’s a fact and we often don’t want to really think about it. Most of us hate to be told no.

No

I took this picture while visiting the hospitals in Atlanta. I saw the sign and couldn’t help but think how we often don’t read the signs around us.

The reason this sign is there is to serve as a warning. If I were to keep driving I would drive right into oncoming traffic. My persistence would make for a bad day and a short trip to the hospital. I wonder how often God says no to something that we keep pursuing?

Why would God say no to something in our lives?

• When God says no he could be protecting us from potential destruction.
• When God says no he could be protecting us from going in the wrong direction.
• When God says no he could be wanting us to go in a different direction.
• When God says no to something he could be saying yes to something better!

The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Did you catch that?! Go ahead and read that verse again. I will wait for you here.

It says he can do more than anything I can ask or imagine. That’s crazy!

If I can dream it up, he can do more. If I can ask, he can do better.

Sometimes he says no because we’re asking too little from him.

Recently, my youngest daughter asked for something from me. She asked in a way like she was embarrassed to ask. It was such a small thing in my mind. I looked at her and said, “I’m your daddy. I can do much better than that!”

I gave her something much greater than what her little mind could think of. I think your Heavenly Father wants to do the same for you!

Go ahead and ask him for something that you think is significant.

Question: What do you need to ask God for?

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Have you ever found yourself frustrated with someone who doesn’t get it? Our temptation is to argue with a fool, but it’s often best just to ignore their ignorance. Check out the video and see for yourself! (Via Praveen Kumar)

The Bible offers us great wisdom on how to deal with a fool. In Proverbs 26:4-5 it says,

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore them so we’re not sucked down to their level.

Also, refuse to argue with a fool because if not, you’ll only end up justifying their argument.

The best way to put out the fire of a fool is not to fan it with your words.

Question: How do you avoid arguing with fools?

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I must confess I’m not an expert at parenting, but I’ve learned a couple of things with my children. As parents we often walk a fine line between doing things for our children and teaching them responsibility and autonomy. It’s a fine line and sometimes it gets blurry.

Photo by Ron Sombilon

I want to do things for my children, but I want them to eventually grow up and become a responsible adult. I occasionally joke to my wife that I eventually want to get my children off of my payroll.

There is a great scripture that goes along with this thought in Proverbs 29:21 when it says:

If a man pampers his servant from youth, he will bring grief in the end.

The only way to avoid grief in the end from your children is to teach and model responsibility. This is certainly easier said than done. I think the easiest way to do this is to give them age appropriate responsibilities.

I have 3 children at home ranging from ages 10, 7 & 18 months. I expect my 10 year old to be more responsible than my 7 year old. Likewise, I expect more from my 7 year old than I do my 18 month old.

We encourage and expect that our children will contribute to the family. We don’t expect them to go out and get jobs, but they can learn to do their part. Because of this, my wife and I assign them tasks that are appropriate for their age and skill set.

My oldest daughter mops the floors while my youngest daughter folds towels and wash cloths. They each unload one rack of the dishwasher. They also have the task of cleaning off the kitchen table after meals.

There’s not much my 18 month old can do to really help but my wife lets him “help” unload the washing machine. Sometimes his help brings more work, but it’s important for him to be a contributor. He’s not doing much, but he’s getting into the routine of contributing something to the family.

To earn money my wife will carry our children to their grandmother’s house while she’s at work and our children will help clean her house.

These are just a few examples of giving your children age appropriate responsibilities.

It’s important to remember your children will not do it perfectly. Part of growing up is learning to do it and getting better at things. I’ve been doing things a lot longer than my children and so I’m going to be better at it.

We don’t make our children earn everything and do everything in our home. We often give them things simply because we love them and want to do things for them. However, we still want them to learn responsibility now so they won’t run from it later.

Question: What do you do to teach your children responsibility?

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No one likes to have their feelings hurt. If you care about someone the last thing you want to do is hurt them. In spite of this, sometimes it’s necessary to tell someone the truth. Sometimes the truth can hurt.

Photo by Takomabibelot

I’m reminded of this in the Bible in Proverbs 27:6 when it says,

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

This simply means a good friend will tell you what you don’t want to hear if it will make you better. On the other hand, an enemy will show you affection but won’t tell you the truth. Ironically, Jesus was betrayed by Judas with a kiss.

I learned this lesson the hard way. I serve at a great church and under a great pastor. About a year ago there was an area of my life that my pastor felt like I needed to work on. It wasn’t a moral or sin issue, but it was an area I needed to grow and develop. It was something he saw in me that was holding me back from being the leader that I could be.

He told me what he saw and admonished me to step it up in this area of my life. I must admit I was hurt at first because I thought he was being critical. Sometimes we mistake someone’s love as someone being critical. The difference is that a true friend loves you, while an enemy will criticize and attempt to destroy you.

My pastor was loving me enough to tell me the truth. It’s hard to understand this when you first hear it. I was praying the next day and was telling the Lord how I felt like I was mistreated. The Lord let me finish my sentence and then very quietly the Holy Spirit whispered, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” The Holy Spirit then went on to say, “You can trust him. He’s just trying to help you.”

My pastor is a great leader and a great man of God who loves people enough to tell them the truth, even if it hurts momentarily.

Since this time I’ve grown in this area of my life. It was painful at first, but necessary as one would take a shot by a doctor. They’re not easy to take, but often the quickest way to recover.

Question: Do you have someone in your life who will tell you the truth when you need it?

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Opportunity is missed by most people because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Thomas Edison

Have you ever asked God why he doesn’t show you everything all at once or at least a little further down the road? If you’re like me, you’re always wondering what’s next.

As a confessed “type A perfectionist” I want the details. I’m a details and numbers freak. It’s the way I’m wired up. I want to know what’s going on. I’m so detailed my “to-do list” has a “to-do list.”

Picture by Alex Cican

Recently, I was talking with an incoming freshmen and her mother. The student confessed she was called to ministry, but wasn’t sure to what type of ministry. As we were talking the Holy Spirit brought the verse in Psalm 119:105 to my mind,

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Notice the Word of God is a lamp to show us where to go. It’s not a spot light, but a flash light.

God usually only shows us a little bit at a time. He doesn’t show us all the way down the road. He only shows us what we need to know. We only need to know what’s right in front of us.

Why does God only show us the path in front of us? I believe there are a few reasons for this:

• It makes us seek him for further direction.
• It makes us build trust in his word. (If you can’t trust someone, then you shouldn’t be following them)
• It makes it easier to not get distracted by what’s around us.
• It makes us learn to depend on him for our needs.
• If he showed us everything all at once, it would probably scare us enough to quit.
• It shows us he’s just as interested in the journey as he is the destination.

In hindsight, I’ve been in some places that I’m glad the Lord didn’t show me everything that lied ahead.

The good news is that he’s leading and guiding us. Our job is to keep walking toward the light.

If you keep walking toward the light, then you won’t be in the darkness.

Question: Where do you need to trust God more in your life?

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