I began to think about this idea recently because I went through a major change in my life. My wife and I already had two children who were ages 9 and 6 and we just added our third child. (yes, I do know what caused it!) At the time of this writing he is two months old. If you do the math that is a decent age gap between our children. I’ll be honest and admit that in the first few weeks I was having a hard time adjusting to this change. It had been a while since we had a baby in the house. It was like starting over. There’s been crying and sleepless nights and that’s just from me! (Just kidding!) We’ve had dirty diapers and more spit ups than we can count. He’s even managed to mark me once or twice!

I was enjoying this season but I realized quickly that I needed to make some adjustments in my life so that I could enjoy this season even more. I learned a few things in this process of change. Here are a few lessons that I learned:

1. Realize that you can’t go back, so quit trying. I kept wanting to go back to my old routines and finally I realized that it’s not going to happen. A side benefit is that I kept waking up earlier and couldn’t go back to sleep. I often use this early time to go to the gym before work.

2. Find the “new normal” in your life. When you are faced with change it is important to identify the new practices and routines. I didn’t like the change in some areas of my life but on the other hand, I have benefited exponentially in other areas.

3. Have fun and embrace the change. It’s important to look for the good things amidst all the change. I began to look for the positive things in this process of change. I realized that my two older girls were very excited to help us with this new baby. I also realized that this new baby had a distinct personality of his own and that he was different from his sisters. By adding another male to the house I have shifted the balance of power!

4. Get over yourself! At one point I was complaining about all of the changes and the Holy Spirit quickly spoke to me and asked, “Do you think you’re the only one that had to go through this?” I quickly realized that I was complaining for nothing and that there are people out there who have it worse than me or would love to be in my shoes. I was quickly slapped back to reality!

What changes are you facing in your life? What could you do to make the transition easier for you?

There are many great parenting skills that everyone needs but lately these are the ones that I’ve been working on the most. It’s certainly not an exhaustive list but this is my blog post!

1. Be quick to apologize to your children when you blow it. As parents there are going to be times that we over react or say something that we shouldn’t. It might be that we drop the ball on something that we had promised or that we had good intentions but didn’t follow through like we should have. It’s important that you apologize to your children when you screw up. It shows them that you’re human and it models humility to them.

2. Learn to take a “chill pill.” The are some things that we get upset at now that really won’t matter in 10 years. I wonder how much energy we waste on getting upset over things that shouldn’t merit our time or emotions? The Holy Spirit told me recently to quit being so uptight about my girls cleaning up the way that I wanted them to. He quickly reminded me that it won’t matter in ten years anyway. This thought leads us to the last one.

3. Teach your children responsibility, but not perfection. I have caught myself falling into the trap of perfectionism. Recently, I got upset at my children because of the way their room was cleaned. I wanted it to be spotless or better yet perfect! Their room was cleaned like a 9 year old and 6 year old would clean it. The Lord reminded me that I wasn’t perfect either!

In any case, when I teach my children perfectionism I am setting them up for failure in their future because at some point they are going to miss the mark and crash and burn. It’s easier to teach them to be responsible adults than it is to be perfect. Jesus was perfect so I don’t have to be!

Again, these are just three that I’m working on at the moment. The good news is that by doing these I have taken some unwanted pressure off of myself and my children. Try doing these and you might be surprised as to what happens!

Do you struggle with any of these? If so, which one?

The key to achieving lifetime goals is to constantly work at it. I know that sounds too simple but it’s the truth. The way this is done is to create short term goals.

Let me provide you with an example from life my life. I mentioned this in a different post but it’s worth repeating. I have a goal to publish a book. I can’t publish a book without writing a manuscript.

My book has an estimated 11 chapters in it. That is approximately one chapter a month for one year.

Most chapters have an average of 20 pages in it. There are 4 weeks in a month which means that I could write 5 pages a week and it would equal a chapter at the end of the month.

That is about 1 page a day or 2 or 3 pages a couple of days a week.

This life goal certainly feels within reach now! My short term goal then is to write 5 pages a week per month. By the end of the year I will have the first draft of my manuscript complete.

You eat an elephant by doing it one bite at a time! What life goal can you apply this to? What would it take to take small action toward your big goal?

C

Ever feel like you're just digging a hole?

At some point you’re going to get stuck. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but everyone at some point is going to experience difficulty or failure. The good news is that it doesn’t have to end that way. The first thing to do when you’re stuck or digging a hole is to quit digging! Several years ago I felt stuck in a place of my life. I sensed a change was needed and that a transition was coming soon. After a time of prayer I felt like the Lord was leading me to go and pursue my Master’s of Divinity degree. It was a difficult decision to make because I felt stuck on one hand but yet on the other hand, I knew I needed to make a change.

In the process of this transition I asked myself a few questions. Good questions have a way of clarifying the issues in our lives. Here are a few questions that I asked myself:

• Why am I doing this?
• What fears are holding me back? (You have to learn to overcome fear)
• What is my motivation for doing this?
• How will this change benefit me or my family?
• What could happen if I accomplish this goal?
• What could happen if I don’t accomplish this goal?
• What small step could I take toward this big goal?

These are the main questions that I asked when considering the change that I was facing. In the end, I decided that the short term pain of change certainly outweighed my current comfort. Frankly, when I took the time to honestly answer these questions I realized that I had more positive reasons to make the change than to stay the same. When you do this it becomes easy to see what you must do.

Most people ask the wrong questions when wanting to move forward in their lives. They usually ask questions based out of fear and uncertainty rather than asking questions that produce life. Learn to frame your questions with a positive outlook rather than those based on fear.

Take the time to ask yourself the above coaching questions and take the time to write down your answers. You will be surprised what happens when you write your thoughts down!

What’s one area of your life that you could benefit the most from a change?

There’s a story in the Old Testament of where God promised the Israelites that he would give them the Promised Land, but yet he seemed to drag his feet on the promise. Have you ever felt God make you a promise or give you a desire but wonder why it hasn’t happened yet? I think the answer to this question can be found in Exodus 23:29-30 where it says,

“But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.”

In this portion of Scripture God was speaking to Moses and telling him how the Israelites were to live in the land that had been promised to them by God. (Thus the name Promised Land!) God also spoke to Moses and reminded him what he was going to do for them.

I believe there are a few lessons that we can learn from these verses:

1. God will only give us what we are prepared to handle, both good and bad.
2. God will never bless us with more than we can handle.
3. God’s blessings in our lives usually don’t come all at once.
4. Most miracles in our lives are progressive in nature.
5. God doesn’t give us everything at once because we are usually not ready to take possession of it.
6. When we have to wait on God it forces us to depend upon him more.
7. God is just as interested in the journey as he is the destination.

I wish God would move faster but if we are honest, he never seems to be in a hurry. I suspect this is because he doesn’t want us to miss anything along the way. Have you ever drove somewhere and been so focused on the destination that you missed everything along the way? I know I have on several occasions.

Instead of getting upset with God for dragging his feet maybe you should quit asking, “When” and start asking “What?” What might God want to teach you along the way to your Promised Land?

What's your morning routine?

I have come up with some ideas and I will share a couple of them with you. While my morning routine is still the same I’ve changed my mental routine.

I’ve always gotten up in the morning and read my Bible and prayed. It’s a good habit and good routine to get into it. This routine is normally done before I leave for work. While I obviously kept this routine, I added another step to it. While it hasn’t always been this way, I am blessed to only have about 15 minute commute to work. On my short commute to work I now recite (meditate) on a scripture verse.

The scripture verse as of lately has changed my perspective. It can be found in Psalm 118:24:

“This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

I do not make it a habit to read out of the New King James Version but this is the one that I chose to memorize. The reason is because in this verse the writer understands that joy is a choice and not an accident. The writer proclaims that “we will rejoice,” indicating that it is a choice.

I’ve also decided that I want to be a more thankful person and to have more gratitude in my life. Every morning I now come up with my “Top 5 For My Drive.” I simply tell God five things that I am thankful for and I can’t repeat things. It forces me to meditate on what I am thankful for. I can honestly say that this has changed my mindset before I go to work.

Both of these new mental routines have changed my perspective. I do this because I don’t want to leave my joy in life to chance based on my circumstances or what happens to me at work. The result is that I am a happier person at work and at home. Situations and conflicts get to me a lot less than they once did. I still have some rough days but overall I have seen a definite change in my perspective.

What routines could you change or add in your life that could improve your life? Please leave a comment or share a routine that you have!

I’ll spare you the suspense. Here is my list:

1. The Circle Maker – Mark Batterson. (This is an incredible book that I just finished. Worth every cent!)
2. Weird – Craig Groeschel
3. EntreLeadership – Dave Ramsey
4. Fearless – Max Lucado
5. The Fasting Edge – Jentzen Franklin
6. The Go-Getter – Peter Kyne (Kindle Edition)
7. Thou Shall Prosper – Daniel Lapin
8. Leading on Empty – Wayne Cordeiro
9. Jesus According to Scripture – Darrell L. Bock (This is more of a textbook.)
10. The Barefoot Executive – Carrie Wilkerson
11. Beautiful Outlaw – John Eldredge
12. Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done – Larry Bassidy
13. StrengthsFinder 2.0 – Tom Rath
14. Spiritual Rhythm – Mark Buchanan
15. Radical – David Platt

I like to read from different genres because it keeps my interest and energy up. I get bored easily so I have to keep things moving. What books would you recommend for someone to read?

God's Answer for Self Help!

While in a staff meeting the other day I came across this verse. I’ve read it before at least a bazillion (is that a word?) times. For some reason I was drawn back to this verse again and again. In fact, it seems that the Lord wouldn’t let me shake it until I really started to understand it.

Before I give you the verse let me give you some background information to help you understand it a little better. In the Old Testament there was a young leader who was suddenly thrust into leadership and he seemed to be trying to find his way. I imagine he asked how he was going to try and lead 3 million people to a place that he had never been? That thought alone would make anyone pray! The Lord told Joshua in 1:8,

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

God was telling Joshua that he needed to think about and store up God’s law (word) in his life. I think the idea behind meditate is that it would mean that Joshua would have to take the time to spend with God to get his Word on the matters of his life. In other words, meditation would produce intimacy with God in his life. As Joshua spent time with God it would produce revelation for his life.

The second part of this verse suggests that Joshua would have to act or obey on what he heard. If we acted on what we knew to be true then most of our lives would be different.

According to the verse the combination of these two steps will produce success. Notice that the verse adds an interesting word when it says, “Then you will be successful.” Did you notice the word “then”? It means that if we do our part then God will do his part! After we are obedient then God will help us.

Most people like formulas or steps to be successful. The formula for this would be: Intimacy with God produces revelation. Revelation obeyed produces success in your life.

Revelation + Obedience = Success

If you’re not feeling too effective in your life right now maybe you should take some time early in the year and circle the wagons. Ask God to direct your life and then start to act on it.

How will you incorporate more of God in your life this year?

What Lessons Have You Learned?

There are some lessons that I wish I had learned sooner or that I wish someone would have told me. Here they are and in random order:

1. Not everyone who says they are a Christian thinks or acts like they probably should. No more explanation needed!
2. Everyone is not going to agree with me or like me. It’s still hard to imagine someone not liking me. I always thought I was a pretty likable fellow!
3. There will be some days that I will want to quit and do something easier. I’ve learned that it’s normal to have these thoughts. Jesus had this same thought in the Garden of Gethsemane. He prayed and asked his Father if there was another way. That puts me in good company!
4. I can’t do it all. It’s easy to want to help everyone but if we are honest with ourselves we will realize that we can’t. I’m learning to help the people that I can and let God worry about the rest.
5. I shouldn’t try to be something that I’m not. When David went to kill Goliath he tried on Saul’s armor and it didn’t fit. Too many people are walking around trying to wear some else’s armor that was made for them. Just be yourself because their is only one of you!

What life lessons have you learned that you can share?

I was reading the other day in the Bible in the book of Genesis about Noah and the Ark. It’s actually really an interesting story. One verse in particular caught my attention. It can be found in Genesis 7:16:

“The animals going in were male and female of every living thing, as God had commanded Noah. Then the Lord shut him in.”

It says the Lord shut them in. Did you catch that last statement?

Noah, his family and all the animals were shut in together on the Ark. Let’s be honest here. The Ark was no Carnival Cruise line! It was a boat made of wood with no running water, toilets, plumbing or electricity. If you’re ever been around animals you will realize that they stink and they sometimes bite!

Noah was not on vacation. He was escaping for his life. He was living in a difficult place for a season of time. In fact, if you do the math you will realize that he had to live in that boat for over a year. God shut them into a difficult place. Noah couldn’t escape it. He couldn’t jump for land or run from his circumstances.

Have you ever found yourself living in an Ark for a season? Have you ever thought that God shuts us into difficult places in our lives for a reason? It’s hard to make sense of these painful times in our lives. If we aren’t careful we will get disillusioned and think that God is somehow mad at us.

Are you ready for some good news? Good!

Here it is. Sometimes, when God puts you in a difficult place, he’s preparing something better for you!

I know this is a simple truth but you might want to read that last line again. Go ahead. I can wait!

How can you encourage someone else who is living in an Ark?