Is my (deceased loved one) angry with me or disappointed in my life choices?  Are they watching me and judging my actions?

It’s understandable to wonder about this. Many of us were raised with the idea that someone is always watching from above, keeping score, judging our actions, and waiting to hand down approval or disapproval.

But that’s not what I see when I connect with people in spirit.

We Are Not the Same There as We Are Here

One of the most important things to understand is that when we cross over, we do not remain exactly as we were in physical form.

We retain our personality, our memories, and our love for the people we leave behind. But we also gain a much broader perspective.

While we’re living a human life, we’re immersed in limitation. We have fears, biases, insecurities, wounds, and expectations. We see the world through a very narrow lens.

When we return to spirit, that lens widens dramatically.

The soul understands something that can be difficult for the human mind to fully grasp: being human is hard.

Spirit understands temptation. Spirit understands confusion. Spirit understands trauma, fear, grief, loneliness, and uncertainty. Spirit understands that every person is doing the best they can from their current level of awareness.

Because of this expanded understanding, much of the judgment we carry during life simply falls away when we cross over.

Your Loved Ones Understand More Than You Think

Many people worry that a deceased loved one is disappointed in them.

Maybe they got divorced.

Maybe they changed religions.

Maybe they chose a career their parents wouldn’t have approved of.

Maybe they’re struggling with addiction, depression, or other personal challenges.

Maybe they aren’t living up to the expectations that were placed upon them during childhood.

What I often see from spirit is the exact opposite of what people fear.

Instead of criticism, I see compassion.

Instead of disappointment, I see understanding.

Instead of anger, I see encouragement.

Your loved ones can often see the bigger picture of your life in a way they couldn’t while they were here. They understand the lessons you’re trying to learn. They understand the challenges you agreed to face. They understand how difficult some of your circumstances truly are.

Of course they want you to make choices that bring you greater happiness, healing, or growth. 

But that is very different from judging you.

Free Will Is Respected

Another important thing to understand is that spirit deeply respects free will.

Your loved ones are not standing over your shoulder trying to control every decision you make.

They are not issuing report cards.

They are not tallying your successes and failures.

The purpose of life is not perfection.

The purpose of life is experience.

You are here to experience physicality, to explore Earth, to fulfill the life intention set by your higher self.

If your loved ones interfered every time you were about to make a mistake, you would lose the very opportunities your soul came here to have.

Spirit understands this.

What About the Things We’re Ashamed Of?

This is often the real question hiding underneath people’s fears.

They wonder:

“What if my loved one knows what I’ve done?”

“What if they know what I think about?”

“What if they know my secrets?”

The truth is that spirit sees far beyond the surface behavior.

They see the pain beneath the anger.

The loneliness beneath the addiction.

The fear beneath the poor decision.

The wound beneath the defensive behavior.

They see the whole person.

Most of us judge ourselves far more harshly than our loved ones in spirit ever would.

Do Loved Ones Ever Get Angry?

People sometimes ask whether spirits can become angry.

Certainly, souls retain awareness and opinions. They don’t become emotionless robots after death.

However, what changes is their perspective.

The reactive human ego largely falls away.

The need to be right falls away.

The desire to punish falls away.

The tendency to hold grudges falls away.

What remains is a much greater understanding of why people behave the way they do.

This doesn’t mean spirits approve of every choice we make. They may wish we would make healthier decisions. They may try to nudge us toward healing or growth.

But that’s very different from condemnation.

What If They Appear Angry in a Dream?

This is where many people become frightened.

A deceased loved one appears in a dream looking upset, disappointed, critical, or angry.

The dream feels vivid and emotional, and the person wakes up wondering whether their loved one was delivering a message.

In my experience, true visitations from loved ones in spirit feel very different from ordinary dreams.

When a genuine visitation occurs, there is usually an unmistakable feeling of peace, clarity, and love. The communication often feels more real than a normal dream. Even if an important message is being conveyed, the interaction carries a sense of compassion rather than condemnation.

When a deceased loved one appears angry, judgmental, or disappointed, it is far more likely that the dream is reflecting your own fears, guilt, anxiety, or unresolved emotions.

The subconscious mind is incredibly creative.

If you’re worried that your mother would disapprove of your choices, your mind may create a dream in which she expresses that disapproval.

If you’re carrying guilt about something you did or didn’t do, your subconscious may use the image of a deceased loved one to give that guilt a voice.

That doesn’t mean your loved one is actually angry with you.

More often than not, it means you’re afraid they might be.

Love Survives the Crossing

When I connect with people in spirit, the strongest thing that comes through is not judgment.

It’s love.

Not perfect human love.

Not conditional love.

Not “I’ll love you if you do everything right” love.

A larger love.

A wiser love.

A love that understands the messiness of being human.

Your loved ones know you are going to make mistakes. They know you’re going to stumble, doubt yourself, and occasionally take the long way around.

They did too.

What I see from spirit again and again is not a group of souls standing in judgment.

I see people who have returned to a place of greater understanding, cheering for the people they love and hoping they find their way.

If your loved ones are watching at all, they’re probably not asking whether you’re perfect.

They’re asking whether you’re being true to yourself, learning from your experiences, and allowing yourself to receive the love that has never left you.

Many people only connect with their guides when they’re facing a challenge, making a major decision, or going through a crisis. But if you only speak to your guides when you need something, you’re missing out on one of the greatest benefits of having a guide team: the relationship itself.

Think of your guides as trusted friends, mentors, teachers, and companions. You don’t only call your best friend when your life is falling apart. You spend time together because you enjoy the connection.

If you’re meditating regularly and want to strengthen your connection to your guides, here are twenty things you can ask them about even when life is going well.

1. Ask About a Past Situation

Choose an event from your past and ask for a higher perspective.

“Can you tell me what was really happening when that friendship ended?”

“What lesson was I meant to learn from that experience?”

Sometimes years later we are finally ready to understand events that once felt confusing or painful.

2. Ask What Someone Was Really Going Through

Rather than seeking judgment, seek understanding.

“What was really happening with that person when they said those hurtful things?”

“What was that situation actually about from a soul perspective?”

You may discover that another person’s actions had far more to do with their own struggles than with you.

3. Ask About Missed Messages

This is one of my favorite questions.

“Was there a time in my life when you were actively trying to get my attention and I completely missed the message?”

You may be surprised by how many signs, nudges, opportunities, and synchronicities were sent your way.

4. Ask If You’re Missing Something Right Now

“Am I overlooking something important?”

“Is there an area of my life that deserves more attention?”

This can reveal blind spots before they become problems.

5. Ask Who Needs a Check-In

“Who in my life is struggling right now and could benefit from hearing from me?”

You may be prompted to call, text, or visit someone who truly needs support.

6. Ask About Upcoming Opportunities

“What opportunities are approaching that I should be paying attention to?”

Not every opportunity arrives with flashing lights and a drumroll.

7. Ask About Hidden Strengths

“What strengths do I possess that I’m underutilizing?”

Many people focus on fixing weaknesses while ignoring their greatest gifts.

8. Ask How Others Experience You

“How do people generally experience me when they first meet me?”

“What energy do I bring into a room?”

This can be incredibly enlightening.

9. Ask About Your Life Theme

“What lesson or theme am I currently working on at the soul level?”

Sometimes a pattern becomes easier to navigate once you understand its purpose.

10. Ask About Your Future Self

“What does my future self wish I understood today?”

This often produces surprisingly wise and practical guidance.

11. Ask About Your Relationships

“What relationship in my life has the greatest potential for growth right now?”

Your guides often see possibilities that you haven’t noticed.

12. Ask What You’re Doing Well

Not every conversation has to focus on improvement.

“What am I doing right?”

“What am I handling better than I realize?”

Many people need encouragement as much as they need guidance.

13. Ask About Gratitude

“What in my life am I taking for granted?”

This can shift your perspective almost instantly.

14. Ask About Your Intuition

“How does my intuition most often communicate with me?”

“Which intuitive ability is strongest right now?”

The answer may help you recognize your own psychic language more clearly.

15. Ask About a Recurring Pattern

“Why does this same type of situation keep showing up in my life?”

Patterns usually persist until they’re understood.

16. Ask What Brings You Joy

“What activities would bring more joy and aliveness into my life?”

Many adults have forgotten how to play.

17. Ask About the World

“Do you see something coming that I should prepare for, and if so, how?”

Approach this question with curiosity rather than fear.

Your guides are usually more interested in your response than in predicting events.

18. Ask About Major Decisions Ahead

“Is there a trajectory-altering decision coming up for me in the next year?”

“If so, how can I prepare myself to make the best choice?”

This can help you recognize crossroads before you arrive at them.

19. Ask Them to Teach You Something

“What would you like to teach me today?”

Then simply listen.

Some of the most profound guidance arrives when you stop directing the conversation.

20. Ask Them to Show You Their Perspective

“What do you see that I don’t see?”

This broad question invites your guides to share whatever they believe is most important.

Often the answers that arrive unexpectedly are the most valuable of all.

The Real Purpose

The purpose of connecting with your guides isn’t simply to solve problems. It’s to deepen a relationship with beings who have volunteered to walk beside you through this lifetime.

The more conversations you have when nothing is wrong, the easier it becomes to recognize their guidance when something important does arise.

Sometimes the most powerful spiritual practice isn’t asking for answers. It’s simply showing up, sitting quietly, and being willing to listen.

If you have questions you want to ask your guides and you don’t know how to connect, you can book a session with me and we’ll ask them together.

From what I’ve observed in readings over the years, animals experience euthanasia very differently than humans do.

They don’t sit around contemplating death or fearing what comes after. They don’t carry the same psychological relationship with mortality that we do. Your dog or cat is not lying there thinking, “I’m dying.” They are simply experiencing the moment they’re in.

What they do know is whether they feel good or whether they feel pain. They know whether their body still works the way it used to. They know whether getting up hurts, whether breathing is harder, whether they can still chase the ball, jump onto the couch, or greet you at the door with joy.

And even when they’re suffering, many pets keep trying.

They try to be the same companion they’ve always been because loving you is part of their nature. A dog with aching joints may still struggle to stand when you come home because, in their heart, they still want to greet you. A cat who no longer feels well may still curl up beside you because that bond matters deeply to them.

Animals are incredibly devoted. Sometimes so devoted that they push themselves beyond what their body comfortably allows.

That’s why euthanasia, from the animal’s perspective, often feels like relief.

The moment they separate from the body, the pain is gone. The heaviness is gone. The confusion and discomfort disappear. Many animals seem almost surprised by how good they suddenly feel. Their awareness expands again. Their personality returns in full force. The old spark comes back.

I’ve connected with many pets in spirit over the years, and the overwhelming emotional impression they share is not anger. It’s gratitude. Gratitude that their humans loved them enough to end their suffering rather than prolong it out of fear or guilt.

That doesn’t mean the choice is easy.

Humans often carry enormous guilt around euthanasia because we are the ones making the decision. We wonder if we “played God.” We worry that maybe they had another week, another month, or another good day left.

But animals tend to live much more in energetic truth than mental conflict. They don’t measure their life primarily by duration. They measure it by connection, love, safety, companionship, play, comfort, and presence.

Your pet does not need you to keep them alive at all costs.

They need you to love them enough to listen when their body is tired.

Helping Your Pet Prepare

I believe one of the most beautiful things we can do before euthanasia is consciously prepare our pet energetically and emotionally.

Spend time with them.

Sit beside them quietly. Stroke their fur slowly. Talk to them. Share memories out loud. Tell them about the day you brought them home, the silly things they used to do, the vacations, the cuddles, the chaos, the joy.

This may sound simple, but it strengthens and solidifies the energetic cords between you. Love is energy, and animals absolutely feel it.

Tell them how much they changed your life.

Tell them they did a good job here.

Tell them they are safe.

And yes, talk to them about what comes next.

I often encourage people to gently explain to their pets that they are going to a beautiful place where their body will feel whole and strong again. Tell them there is a loving space waiting for them across the rainbow bridge. Tell them they won’t be alone. Tell them you will find each other again someday when it’s your turn to cross over.

Animals understand energy and emotion far more than vocabulary. They may not understand every word literally, but they absolutely understand your intention, your love, and your reassurance.

If possible, stay with them during the euthanasia itself.

Your presence matters.

The sound of your voice matters.

The touch of your hand matters.

Most animals relax when their beloved human is nearby because you are their home. Even in those final moments, your energy helps guide them gently forward.

They Don’t Leave Love Behind

One thing I know is this:

Our pets do not disappear when they die.

The relationship changes form, but the bond itself continues. Love creates energetic connections that are very real and very enduring. Many people continue to feel their pets around them afterward. They sense them jumping onto the bed, brushing past their legs, visiting in dreams, or appearing in subtle signs and synchronicities.

And that makes sense.

A soul who loved you that deeply doesn’t just stop caring because they no longer have a physical body.

If your pet is nearing the end of life, try not to focus solely on the moment of loss. Focus also on the tremendous gift you’ve already given them: a lifetime of companionship, safety, affection, and belonging.

To an animal, that is everything.

Many imagine them as perfectly serene, all-knowing celestial beings who speak in calm riddles while floating around in white robes dispensing wisdom like spiritual vending machines.

That is not the case.

In my work as an intuitive counselor, I’ve encountered spirit guides with incredibly distinct personalities. Some are deeply logical and analytical. Some are playful and breezy. Some are intense, driven, and laser-focused on achievement. Others feel like the spiritual equivalent of a hammock on a tropical beach.

Spirit guides are not robots. They are souls.

And souls carry preferences, energies, perspectives, and personalities with them.

Spirit Guides Are Often Souls Like Us

A spirit guide is a consciousness that has chosen to assist another soul’s growth for a period of time. Many guides have incarnated before as humans or in other forms of consciousness. Some still incarnate occasionally while also guiding between lives.

They are not necessarily “above” us in the way many people assume.

Think of them less like flawless angels and more like experienced travelers helping another traveler navigate a journey they themselves understand.

They have wisdom, yes. They have perspective, yes. But they also have flavor. Tone. Temperament.

Some guides are soft nurturers.

Some are strict coaches.

Some are philosophical professors.

Some are creative muses.

Some are extremely emotionally warm, while others are more detached and strategic.

I’ve even encountered guides who reminded me of military commanders. Focused. Efficient. Uninterested in excuses. Their energy was very much: “You came here to accomplish something. So let’s do this!”

And honestly? Some people need that.

The “Fitness Trainer” Spirit Guide

One way I often explain this is through the image of a fitness trainer.

Imagine hiring a personal trainer because you want to become an elite athlete. You don’t hire someone who says, “Sleep in. Eat cake. Don’t worry about it.”

You hire the trainer who pushes you.

The one who sees your potential and refuses to let you stay small.

Some spirit guides operate exactly like this.

If your higher self came into this lifetime wanting rapid growth, influence, leadership, mastery, or major soul evolution, your guides may be very focused and demanding energetically. They may continuously nudge you out of complacency. They may orchestrate synchronicities that force growth. They may make you deeply uncomfortable whenever you drift away from your purpose.

People with these kinds of guides often feel internally driven even when they try not to be.

Their guides are not trying to punish them. They’re trying to help them fulfill the intentions they themselves set before incarnating.

The “Vacation Life” Spirit Guide

Not every incarnation is meant to be a grind toward greatness.

Some souls come here to rest.

Some come to experience physicality, beauty, relationships, art, pleasure, simplicity, or emotional healing in between more difficult incarnations.

I sometimes call these “vacation lives.”

That doesn’t mean the life is meaningless. Far from it. Experiencing joy, embodiment, connection, or peace can be deeply important for soul evolution.

Souls with these intentions often attract very different kinds of guides.

These guides may feel easygoing, permissive, humorous, patient, and highly accommodating. Their energy can feel like: “Relax. Slow down. Enjoy the human experience. You don’t need to optimize every second of your life.”

These guides aren’t lazy.

They’re aligned with the soul’s actual goals.

A guide pushing someone into constant ambition when the soul came here to heal and experience softness would be counterproductive.

We Often Select Guides Based on Life Intention

Before incarnation, the higher self sets intentions for what it hopes to experience or develop during a lifetime.

Those intentions influence many things:

• family dynamics
• major life themes
• personality tendencies
• opportunities and challenges
• and yes, spirit guide compatibility

A soul seeking intense transformation may choose guides who are highly disciplined and focused.

A soul exploring creativity may choose inspiring, emotionally expressive guides.

A soul working through fear may select fiercely protective guides.

A soul learning independence may even choose guides who step back and allow more freedom and trial-and-error.

This is why comparing your spiritual journey to someone else’s can become so confusing. Their guides may be operating from an entirely different energetic philosophy because the soul curriculum itself is different.

Guides Often Come From Our Soul Tribes

Many spirit guides are members of what I call our soul tribe.

These are souls with whom we share long-standing energetic connections across many incarnations. We may alternate roles with them over time. In one life they may be a sibling, spouse, teacher, rival, or child. Between lives they may act as guides, planners, or companions.

There is often tremendous affection and familiarity between us and our guides.

Sometimes when I tune into a client’s guides, the energy feels almost like old friends teasing each other backstage before a play begins.

That surprised me early in my career. I expected spiritual interactions to feel solemn and reverent all the time. Instead, many guides have a very human warmth to them.

Some are witty.

Some are blunt.

Some are deeply compassionate.

Some are incredibly no-nonsense.

And some absolutely radiate the feeling of, “Oh boy, here we go again with this human.”

Not All Guides Are From Our Soul Tribe

Sometimes a guide is assigned because they specialize in something specific your soul wants to learn.

You might work with a guide skilled in leadership, healing, communication, discipline, creativity, parenting, grief, or spiritual awakening even if they are not part of your usual soul circle.

These relationships can feel less emotionally familiar at first but still deeply supportive.

It’s similar to hiring a mentor or consultant. The connection is purposeful and aligned.

Your Guides Are Not Trying to Turn You Into Someone Else

One thing I want to express is that your guides are not trying to erase your individuality.

They are helping you become more fully aligned with the intentions of your own higher self.

If your guides push you, it’s not because they’re cruel.

If they give you space, it’s not because they’re absent.

Their approach often reflects what your soul itself requested before incarnation.

And because guides have personalities too, they bring their own style into the process.

Some motivate through challenge.

Some motivate through encouragement.

Some through humor.

Some through love.

Some through relentless persistence.

The beautiful thing is that over time, many people begin to recognize their guides almost the way they recognize close friends. You start to feel their unique energetic signatures. You notice how they communicate. You learn their “tone.”

And once that happens, your spiritual relationship often becomes much more personal, alive, and real.

If you want to connect with your spirit guides, check out my intuition development program or you can book a session with me and I can tell you exactly who your guides are.

To say I was startled would be an understatement.  The space between me and my headboard was about a foot; no room for a person.  

I whipped my head around to see “who” was there, but of course I could see nothing.  Then I felt two arms wrap around me from behind, and what felt like a body pressed against my back.

I was moved into a position on my left side as a wave of immense and undeniable sleepiness came over me.  My last thought before I lost consciousness was “Shit’s about to go down.”

I’ll pause for a moment to say this is not unusual for me.  Due to the nature of the work I do as a psychic and especially my work on paranormal investigations, I have gotten used to encountering beings, entities, ghosts, ethereal critters, and bad ass nefarious energies over the last few decades of my life.

Sometimes an entity will yank me out of my body and onto the astral plane to try to harm me.

Sometimes I am pulled to a recently deceased person who needs help understanding they have crossed over.

I’ve learned to just steel myself for whatever’s coming, prepare a countermeasure, and so far I have been successful at not dying 100% of the time.  LOL.

I have my tricks and tactics and I try to stay calm so I can handle the situation as quickly and as best as possible.

Back to the encounter…

As I was being pulled down, I opened my psychic senses and tried to determine if this was something attacking me or something that just wanted or needed my attention.

I felt a warmth coming from the energy coiled around me, a sense of urgency, a sense of fear, and a plea for help.

While I didn’t appreciate being waylaid, I sensed this was probably going to be something that needed help and was not out to attack me.

I found myself in a full astral situation, and I turned towards the energy.  It appeared to me as a teenage boy.  Light brown hair, slender, maybe 13 years old, wearing blue pajamas.

He moved a respectful distance away from me now that he had my attention.  There was an incredibly worried expression on his face.

He said, “Excuse me, Miss, I am not trying to bother you, but I’m… I just… something weird is happening to me and I’m scared.”  

I said, “Tell me what’s going on?”

He looked around like he was worried something else might be there with us.  Then he said, “I was in my room, sleeping, and then there was… this sensation, it felt like magnets all around me, and it felt like all the atoms in my body got like wild and crazy.  I felt myself lifting toward the ceiling and… there was like a monster or a demon or something in my room.”

He looked absolutely terrified.  I knew immediately this was a human male having an astral experience, probably his first.

I said, “What happened next?”

He said, “Well, the closer I got to my ceiling the more scared I got that this thing was going to get me.”  He continued looking around like the “thing” was going to find him.  “So I just started screaming for help, but it was like I was just screaming in my mind, and I wasn’t sure anyone could hear me.  I wanted my dad to come, but he didn’t.”

I said, “Then what happened?  How did you find me?”

His eyes brightened slightly and he said, “I turned myself towards my window because I wasn’t sure what would happen if I hit the ceiling, and I felt like I could fly, so I flew out my window and it was cold and dark outside but I could see strange lights here and there that were sort of blurry.  I was attracted to the lights, they seemed warm and safe.”

I said, “Go on.”  Meanwhile I was scanning the astral area around us to make sure nothing was coming at us or had followed him to my house.

He said, “At some point while I was flying I sort of blipped out and then I found myself in your bedroom.  You had a bright shiny light and you were awake.  So I tapped you on the shoulder.  Can you help me?”

I said, “Absolutely I will help you.  I’m going to take you home and deal with anything that might be around your body in your room.”

His eyes got wide, “What do you mean my body?  Am I dead?”

I said, “Oh… no no no, sorry.  You’re having an out of body experience right now.  It happens.  You’re going to be okay.  Hop on my back, piggy-back style, and I’ll use your energetic signature to follow your trail back to your house.”

He said, “I don’t want to go back there.  I’m scared.”

I replied, “I know, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you, and you’re much safer in your body.  Come on, hop on.”

He flew to my back and held onto my shoulders.  

I tuned in to his physical body and off we went.  I felt like we were going northeast of my home.  We flew for what felt like 10 minutes or so but I wasn’t sure how fast we were flying so I wasn’t sure if we were still in Nevada or a neighboring state.

As I approached his room though I had to get focused.  I flew around the outside of the house and saw nothing untoward.

I flew us into his bedroom through the window.  He tensed up hard!  And we started to fall out of phase with each other.  It was like I was vapor and he had turned to ice.  I could still sense him, but I couldn’t see his astral form.

I did see his body on the bed, though.  And it was also instantly clear to me that there was nothing sinister in his room.  Whatever had been there had left, probably when he blipped out.

I was about to direct him to his body when I saw him snap into his body and sit up in bed, his eyes wide and scared.

This was a problem because I had wanted to try to explain to him what happened to him but now he was fully incorporated into his body and he couldn’t see or sense me anymore.  He sat shivering in his bed and crying.  I wanted to comfort him, to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear me.

He turned on his light and was scanning his room.  I figured he would either call out for his father or get up and go to him, but he just sat in his bed, quiet. He was frantically looking around his room, probably for danger.

The connection between us was fading quickly and I knew I was going to get snapped back into my body soon.  I hung on as long as I could, scanning his room for an entity, but it was absolutely clear in there.  

I pushed some white light protective energy into his room, then I got snapped back.

I knew he’d be okay the rest of the night, just as I knew he wouldn’t sleep the rest of the night.  But there was nothing more I could do for him.  

He must have had a pretty powerful soul though to have blipped over to someone who could help him, and to fly out his window on what I presumed was his first astral experience.

I hoped this kid would research out of body experiences or astral projection in case it happened to him again.  I hoped his experiences would become positive for him over time.

The next night I tried scanning the “frequencies” the way you might scan radio stations, but I couldn’t find him.  I probably won’t be able to find him until he goes astral again, if he ever does.

I was happy to be there for him in his time of need.  But I have no doubt that if he hadn’t found me he would have found another who could help him.

It’s a great question. And the answer becomes much easier to understand once you shift how you think about your soul.

Let’s start here:

You are not just the person reading this right now.

You are the expression of something much larger.

Your Higher Self Is the Real You

When I tune into someone intuitively, I don’t just see the current personality. I see the higher self behind it. That higher self is your soul. It’s vast, intelligent, and not limited by time the way your human mind is.

Your higher self doesn’t live just one life at a time the way you think of it. It exists outside of time entirely. That means it can hold many lifetimes—past, present, even what you would call future—simultaneously.

So when you hear that you’ve had hundreds or even thousands of incarnations, that’s not a line of lives stretching out one after another like beads on a string.

It’s more like a constellation of experiences all held within your soul.

The Author and the Books

Here’s the metaphor that I hope will make this click.

Imagine a single author.

That author writes 50 books.

Each book has:

• Different characters
• Different settings
• Different storylines
• Different emotional journeys

Now ask yourself:

Are there 50 different authors?

No. There is one author expressing themselves through many stories.

Each book is complete on its own, with its own identity and voice. But every single one came from the same creative source.

That author is your higher self.

Each book is one of your incarnations.

What Reincarnates… and What Doesn’t?

A common question I get is: When you die and reincarnate, what part of you continues on, and what part returns to spirit?

Here’s how I see it.

Your higher self (the author) never leaves the spiritual plane. It doesn’t “go” anywhere. It simply creates and directs experiences.

Your incarnated self (the character in the book) is what enters a physical life.

When a lifetime ends:

• The personality, memories, and experiences are absorbed back into the higher self
• The essence of that life is integrated, not lost
• The “character” doesn’t remain as a completely separate being forever

Instead, it becomes part of the greater soul awareness.

Why So Many Incarnations?

Your higher self doesn’t incarnate randomly.

It chooses experiences with intention.

Some common reasons I see:

• To explore different emotional states like love, loss, power, and vulnerability
• To understand life from many perspectives
• To reconnect with members of its soul group
• To resolve patterns or expand awareness
• To experience physical reality in all its richness

Think of it like an author who wants to write in multiple genres:

• Romance
• Mystery
• Tragedy
• Adventure

Each story adds depth and skill to the author.

Each lifetime adds depth and awareness to your soul.

Are There Thousands of You?

This is the part that can feel confusing.

From a human perspective, it can seem like:

“There must be thousands of me out there.”

But from the soul’s perspective, there is only:

One of you expressing in many ways.

Just like:

• One author creates many books
• One sun shines many rays
• One ocean forms many waves

You are not fragmented.

You are expanded.

Bringing It All Together

Your higher self is the soul, and it remains whole and constant.

Your incarnations are expressions created by that soul for specific experiences.

When a life ends, its essence returns to and becomes part of the whole.

There are not thousands of separate “you’s”… just one vast you exploring itself in many forms.

Final Thought

You are not just living a life.

You are part of a much larger intelligence that is experiencing itself through this life.

Right now, you are one of the stories your soul is telling.

And just like any great author…

Every story matters.

If you want to explore any of your past lives, book a past life reading with me and we’ll see who you were.

When he was placed in my arms, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Wow… he’s still so connected to Source!”

Within seconds, something happened that I didn’t expect.

I felt an intense energy surrounding him. It was so strong it almost robbed me of my breath, but at the same time, it expanded me. It didn’t feel overwhelming in a bad way. It felt like I was being opened… like I was breathing something purer than air into my body.

Clairvoyantly, what I saw was extraordinary.

It looked as if he were lying inside a sling made entirely of Source energy. Not symbolic, actual energy. It was alive with color. Mostly gold, but woven through it were bands of red and blue, with smaller threads of green and yellow moving in and out like currents.

And the texture of it surprised me.

It wasn’t light and wispy. It was dense. Thick. Effervescent. Like a kind of prismatic armor wrapped around him, but not rigid. It was alive, responsive, intelligent.

This wasn’t just energy.

This was love. This was protection. Direct from Source.

His soul was still so close to where it had just come from.

Clairaudiently, there was also a sound. A low, steady hum that felt layered, like multiple tones harmonizing together. The closest way I can describe it is like a chorus of angelic voices holding a frequency rather than singing words.

It was beautiful in a way that’s hard to fully put into language.

Sitting there holding him, feeling all of this, I had this quiet realization…

We don’t arrive here empty.

We come in surrounded by grace. By love. By protection that most of us forget we ever had.

Babies haven’t forgotten yet.

They still remember the other side, even if they can’t explain it. The connection is right there, just beneath the surface. You can feel it if you’re paying attention.

Sometimes I wonder what they would tell us if they could speak clearly in those first weeks of life.

What they would say about where they’ve been. What they still see.

I think a lot of people have felt something like this, even if they didn’t have words for it. There’s a reason holding a newborn feels different. There’s something unmistakable about it.

It’s a gift to be that close to Source energy again, even for a moment.

I’m curious to see how his energy evolves as he grows. It will change, of course, it always does, but I hope he holds onto that connection for as long as possible.

Because it’s still there in all of us, even if we’ve forgotten how to feel it.

It’s a fair question, and the answer is that I do both.

When you come to me asking about compatibility, I don’t treat it as a one-sided conversation. Relationships aren’t one-sided, so the insight shouldn’t be either. I start by tuning in to your spirit guides. They know you intimately. They understand your patterns, your emotional needs, your blind spots, and your growth path. From their perspective, I can see how this connection might support you, bring you immense joy, where it might challenge you, and what lessons could come from it.

They’ll often show me the dynamics at play. Maybe you’re drawn to someone who mirrors an old wound. Maybe there’s real potential for growth and partnership, but it requires communication skills you haven’t fully developed yet.

Sometimes they’ll highlight beautiful alignment, and other times they’ll point out areas where you two might struggle.

But that’s only half the picture.

Once I understand how your guides feel about the connection, I’ll then reach out to the other person’s spirit guides. This part matters more than people realize. The other person is on their own path, with their own desires, lessons, timing, and emotional readiness. Their guides will offer insight into whether this connection aligns with their journey.

Sometimes both sets of guides are in agreement. They’ll show me that the relationship has strong potential, that both people can find joy together, and that the connection is mutually supportive. When that happens, I’ll share what makes it work, not just that it works. You deserve to understand the strengths you can build on.

Other times, there’s hesitation. The other person’s guides might indicate that they’re not ready, that they’re focused on something else, or that the connection would create imbalance. In those cases, I’ll explain what I’m seeing and why. It’s not about shutting something down, it’s about giving you clarity.

And then there are moments when clear red flags come through.

If I’m shown that someone is emotionally unsafe, abusive, manipulative, or not who they claim to be, I will tell you. That includes situations where someone may be misrepresenting themselves or even catfishing. Your guides are very protective of you, and if something feels off, they won’t sugarcoat it. Neither will I.

That said, spirit guides don’t make decisions for you.

They won’t tell you who you’re “allowed” to love or whether you must walk away. What they do is give you a clearer view of the landscape. They’ll show you the strengths, the weaknesses, the potential, and the risks. From there, you get to decide what you want to do with that information.

That’s the most important part of any reading.

You’re not handing over your free will. You’re gathering insight so you can make a more informed choice. Whether you move forward, take a step back, or walk away entirely, that decision always belongs to you.

If you’re ever unsure about someone, it’s okay to ask for a deeper look. Sometimes what your heart feels and what your guides know just need a little space to meet in the middle.

And when they do, things tend to become a lot clearer.

If you’d like me to look into the compatibility between you and someone you’re thinking about, you can book a reading with me. I’ll help you understand the connection so you can move forward with clarity and confidence or pull back if there’s strong red flags.

But there’s something important I’ve learned through both my personal life and my work with clients. While you can’t prevent grief, you can soften the landing.

And that matters.

Whether your loved one is terminally ill, very elderly, or perfectly healthy, there are ways to prepare your heart, your mind, and even your spirit for the day they are no longer here in physical form.

This isn’t about bracing for pain. It’s about deepening love now so there is less regret later.

Say What Needs to Be Said

Most people assume they have more time than they do.

We put off meaningful conversations because they feel uncomfortable, or because we think there will be a better moment. But often, that moment never comes.

If you love someone, tell them. If you’re proud of them, say it out loud. If there’s something unresolved, address it as best you can.

You don’t need a perfect script. You just need honesty.

Some of the hardest grief I see comes from words that were never spoken.

If you don’t feel comfortable speaking it, text it or write it on a “Thinking of You” card and mail it to them.

Create Intentional Memories

We tend to think memories just happen on their own. But the most meaningful ones are often created on purpose.

Ask questions about their life. Record their stories. Take photos even on ordinary days. Sit with them without distractions. Laugh when you can.

If they’re still able, do something together that feels meaningful, even if it’s small.

Go through a photo album together, drink their favorite tea with them, ask them deep questions about what made their life special and meaningful.

Years from now, you won’t be thinking about the routine days. You’ll be holding onto the moments you made special.

Understand That Love Doesn’t End

One of the biggest fears people have is that connection disappears when someone dies.

It doesn’t.

The relationship changes, but it doesn’t vanish. The bond you’ve built continues in a different form.

Knowing this ahead of time can ease some of the fear around loss. You’re not preparing to lose them completely. You’re preparing for the relationship to shift.

That’s a very different experience.

You can still speak to them, commune with them, meet them in dreams, connect through a medium.

Practice Letting Go in Small Ways

Letting go isn’t something you suddenly learn how to do in a moment of crisis. It’s a skill.

If you’re very attached to control, outcomes, or needing things to stay the same, loss will feel even more overwhelming.

Start noticing where you can soften your grip in everyday life. Let small things unfold without forcing them. Allow people to be who they are instead of who you want them to be.

This doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop clinging.

And that distinction will matter when the time comes.

Prepare Practically, Not Just Emotionally

There’s a side of loss that people don’t like to talk about, but it’s important.

Do you know their wishes? Do they have a will? Do you understand what they want medically? Have you had conversations about end of life care?

These discussions can feel heavy, but they remove a tremendous burden later.

Grief is hard enough without having to make major decisions in the middle of it.

Allow Grief Before the Loss Happens

If someone is terminally ill or declining, you may already feel waves of grief before they pass.

This is normal.

In fact, allowing yourself to feel that grief now can make the transition later less overwhelming. You’re not betraying them by acknowledging what’s coming. You’re honoring the reality of the situation.

Let yourself feel it without judgment. Let them comfort you while they are still here and you can still easily communicate.

Accept That You Cannot Fully Prepare

This is the part people don’t always want to hear.

No matter how much you prepare, grief will still come. There will still be moments that take your breath away. There will still be days when you miss them in ways you didn’t expect.

Preparation doesn’t remove grief.

What it does is remove regret, reduce shock, and give you a sense of peace that you showed up fully while they were here.

And that changes everything.

A Final Thought

If you take nothing else from this, take this.

Don’t wait for a diagnosis or a warning sign to love people more deeply.

Act as if time is limited, because it is, even when we don’t know the timeline.

Love them well now. Speak freely now. Be present now.

When the day comes that you have to say goodbye, you’ll still grieve.

But you won’t be left wondering if you should have done more.

“Why can’t my deceased loved ones just answer exactly what I’m asking?”

It’s a fair question. If your loved one is still there, and I’m talking to them, why can’t they just answer clearly in plain English?

Because that’s not how communication works on the other side.

When I connect with someone who has passed, I’m not hearing a voice the way you and I are speaking right now. Spirits communicate energetically. They send impressions, images, emotions, sensations, fragments of knowing, and then my job is to interpret those into language you can understand.

And interpretation, by its nature, is not the same as dictation.

The Missing Ring Example

Let’s say a client asks:

“We couldn’t find my mom’s wedding ring after she passed.  Can you ask her where it is?”

That’s a very normal question. It assumes a clear, physical answer. Something like, “It’s in the bathroom drawer under the sink.”

But what I might receive instead is an image of a turtle.

That might seem strange or even irrelevant at first. Why a turtle? What does that have to do with a wedding ring?

So I tell the client exactly what I’m getting. “She’s showing me a turtle. Does that mean anything to you?”

And then suddenly it clicks for the client in a way that it wouldn’t click for me because I lack context. 

“Oh right,” the client says, “Mom has a porcelain turtle in her bathroom.  We’ll check there.”

That’s how the information comes through. Not usually as a sentence, but as a symbol that carries meaning. The spirit knows what the turtle represents. I receive the image. The client recognizes the connection.

The message is accurate, but it still has to be interpreted.

It’s Not a Conversation. It’s Translation

Think of spirit communication less like a phone call and more like translation across dimensions.

Spirits don’t speak English. They don’t form sentences the way we do. They transmit meaning.

Sometimes that meaning comes through as:

• A quick visual image
• A physical sensation in my body
• An emotional tone like love, regret, urgency, or humor
• A sudden knowing that wasn’t there a moment ago

Then I have to convert that into words.

And just like translating between two human languages, something can be accurate and still not perfectly precise.

“Who Should I Marry?”

People often ask questions like:

“Who should I marry? What do they look like? Where will I meet them?”

I understand why. You want certainty. You want reassurance that you’ll end up with the right person.

But spirits aren’t going to override your free will like that.

They’re not going to hand you a name, a face, and a location and say, “There you go, that’s your person.”

Instead, what tends to come through is guidance.

You might hear something like:

“You’re being shown the qualities that matter most in a partner right now. Emotional stability. Kindness. Someone who communicates clearly. You’re also being encouraged to work on trusting your own instincts so you don’t overlook red flags.”

Or:

“They’re pointing to patterns you’ve had in past relationships and where you tend to ignore your own needs. If you shift that, you’ll naturally align with a better partner.”

Spirits aren’t here to make your decisions for you. They’re here to help you make better ones.

Some Questions Aren’t Meant to Be Answered

There’s another layer to this that people don’t always expect.

Sometimes the question itself isn’t something the spirit will answer.

For example:

“Are there any family secrets that you kept from us while you were alive that you can tell me now?”

Even if the person on the other side knows the answer, that doesn’t mean they’re going to share it.

Spirits aren’t suddenly all revealing just because they’ve passed. They still have boundaries. 

They still have a sense of what’s appropriate, helpful, or aligned with your growth.

In many cases, what comes through instead is something like:

“He’s acknowledging there were things left unsaid, but he’s focusing on love and asking for forgiveness rather than going into specifics.”

That’s what he’s allowed to share.  That’s what he chooses to share.

The goal of communication from the other side isn’t always to satisfy curiosity. It’s to support healing, understanding, and growth.

Not Every Spirit Is a Great Communicator

This is another piece people rarely consider.

Just because someone has crossed over doesn’t mean they instantly become skilled at communicating with a medium.

Some spirits are very clear, very strong, very easy to read. I could literally talk to them all day and hear word for word what they’re saying.  Others spirits struggle with communication back to the living.

They may send faint impressions, disjointed images, incomplete thoughts. It can feel like trying to tune into a weak signal.

And just like in life, some people are naturally better at expressing themselves than others.

So if communication feels fragmented or indirect, it’s not because they don’t care. It’s often because this is still a learned skill for them.

So Why Doesn’t It Come Through Clearly?

Because what’s happening isn’t a conversation in words.

It’s a transmission of meaning that has to pass through three layers:

1. The spirit’s ability to send it
2. My ability to receive it
3. My ability to interpret and translate it into language

That’s a lot of filtering between the message and what you hear.

And yet, even with those layers, the messages are often accurate, specific, and deeply personal in ways that can’t be explained away.

Clairaudience Is The Exception

The one caveat to all of this is that when a spirit speaks to me using clairaudience, I can hear word for word what they are saying.

But they still won’t reveal all information, and the phrases tend to be short.

There is a special place in my heart for spirits who can effectively use clairaudience. Bless them.

The Heart of It

I understand the desire for exact answers. 

But what you receive in a reading is something a little different, and in many ways, more meaningful.

You’re not just getting information. You’re getting connection.

You’re feeling their presence, their personality, their emotions, their perspective. You’re receiving the essence of what they want you to know.

And that doesn’t always arrive as a perfect sentence.

But it does arrive with truth and impact.

If you want to learn how to communicate with the other side, check out my online course, The Intuition Development Course, so you can talk to your spirit guides and loved ones any time you desire.

And if you’d like a reading with me, book it here.