The bully replied, “But I’m not sorry.”

Adrienne said, “It doesn’t matter. Tell her you’re sorry.”

So I jumped in and said, “Why should he tell her he’s sorry if he’s not? That’s not a real apology if you don’t mean it.”

She said, “Saying sorry is the proper thing to do, and he has to learn so that when he’s an adult he’ll know to apologize when he’s done something wrong.”

I said, “But if he’s not actually sorry, then he’s being disingenuous. Isn’t it better to help him see what he did wrong and teach him not to do it again? Then if he actually DOES feel sorry, he can apologize from the heart.”

We argued about it for a bit. In the end, she forced him to say sorry to the little girl, but it just made him madder and when our backs were turned he hit her again.

I pondered the whole concept of apologizing. Saying you’re sorry if you’re not is a waste of time, because if you don’t really understand what you did wrong and if you don’t really believe that what you did was wrong, you’re more likely to do the same thing again. What good is an apology under those circumstances? You’re putting the onus on someone else to grant you forgiveness, and they appear rude if they don’t accept your apology. “But I said I was sorry….” How many times have you heard that from someone who then commits the same unacceptable behavior again later?

So this past weekend I was at a seminar where coaches Steve Chandler and Rich Litvin spoke to a crowd of 50 people who wanted to learn how to create clients. Before we went to lunch we were told to be back in our seats, ready to go, at 2pm. They were very clear that they were going to start on time.

At 2pm, I would say 45 people were back in their seats. Within 20 minutes, the other 5 had returned as well. At one point a gal asked for the microphone and said, “I just wanted to apologize for being late. It was rude and disrespectful to the students and instructors. I’m sorry.”

Rich stopped her and said, “Wait. You don’t need to apologize to us. It’s not about us. You made a decision to be late, and saying you’re sorry doesn’t change anything. Instead, would you perhaps like to make a commitment about this behavior going forward?”

She thought about it for a second and replied, “Yes, I commit to everyone here that I won’t be late again.”

I thought this was brilliant, and I plan to use this same strategy when next someone apologizes for their behavior. It’s not about whether the apology is genuine or not – a genuine apology from the heart is awesome to receive. But the truth is, if the person is truly sorry they can demonstrate that by no longer engaging in the behavior they had to apologize for.

Years ago I had a friend who was constantly late to our meetings and social outings. He would breeze in late and say, “Sorry I’m late. I got tied up.” Or “Sorry I’m late, I got a late start.” Or “Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.” Finally I told him, “Don’t be sorry, just stop being late.” He looked at me like I’d grown horns or something. He said, “I told you I was sorry!” To which I replied, “I don’t want an apology. I want you to be on time. If you can’t be on time, let me know and I’ll decide whether I want to accept this behavior or find a new friend. But don’t tell me you’re sorry and then keep coming late.”

He was never able to show up on time and I eventually dropped him as a friend, in large part because of his consistently late arrivals.

The next time you do something wrong, I invite you to make a commitment to changing the behavior instead of asking for forgiveness. Like I said, a genuine apology from the heart is nice to hear, but changing the behavior is even better. Show people you’re sorry, don’t tell them.

“I’m sorry I was late. That was disrespectful. I am making a commitment to being on time from now on. I hope you will give me a chance to prove myself.”

Is there someone in your life who constantly apologizes for a behavior in which they continue to engage? Do you tolerate that? Could you ask them to make a new commitment instead? That puts it back on them to do what they say they will do. And then if they can’t reform their behavior, you get the opportunity to disengage from them or simply accept that this is how they are.

The next time you catch someone apologizing for rude behavior, ask them to make a commitment to new behavior and see what they do. The real apology is change.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer: Great question. Instead of saying “multiple families” I would instead use the term “multiple loved ones.” When you die, you will be greeted by the souls and spirits of the people you have the strongest connection to, whether they are from your most recent life or a past one. Some of these folk may have been your family members in several lives. So yes, you will encounter spirits from previous lives who may not have been with you during the most recent life.

You will also encounter your spirit guides, who have guided you throughout your life but who may or may not have ever incarnated themselves. Love is love. Connection is connection. You will naturally be attracted to and reunited with the energies you felt closest to, from this life or others.

Once you cross over, you may merge right back in with your higher self, remembering all the previous times you’ve incarnated, or you may choose instead to hang on to the most recent personality and stay connected with your family who are still living.

This is why sometimes when I try to connect with deceased loved ones on the other side, they are simply not there anymore. They have sloughed off this ego and have merged back with their collective higher self consciousness. I can’t call “Uncle Charlie” if he, as a spirit, no longer identifies himself as Uncle Charlie. But if he’s around and still interested in what’s going on during this time period, he will often come through with support, love, and advice from the other side.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Oh he didn’t just yell at us, he went on a tirade. “You rotten kids. You don’t know how to respect someone’s property. Don’t you ever trespass on my property again or I’ll shoot you dead. I have every right to, ya know! I’m an American!”

Todd, my dear pacifistic friend, apologized to him profusely. “We’re sorry sir. We didn’t mean to. The street is so narrow, we had to go onto the apron of your driveway to get the truck backed up. It won’t happen again.”

Crabface waved his arm down at us and said, “Bah. Stupid kids. I better not hear any loud music coming from your house!” Then he went into his house, slamming his screen door as best he could.

Day after day Crabface had some kind of altercation with someone. I remember when the city workers came by to dig up the street and replace a pipe or something. He came outside yelling at them. “Stay off my property. You don’t have any right to be here. Get out of here now!” The worker said, “Look sir, we’re not on your property. This is city property, and we’re just here doing maintenance. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Then Crabface told the man to go back where he came from, that this was America! And the American Indian city worker replied, “Sir, I’m a Native American. Why don’t YOU go back to where YOU came from.” Crabface gave him the “bah” wave and stormed off back into his fortress.

Crabface always knew what was going on in front of his house because he liked to sit on his porch with his shotgun in his hands. Kids would ride past his house on their bikes and he would lean forward like he was getting ready to shoot them. It was bizarre.

Every time Crabface drove up into his driveway he would yell out very loudly, “Martha, I’m home!” I thought it was weird that I never saw his wife myself.

Finally one day I spoke to one of the neighbors who told me that Crabface was a veteran. An old and crotchety veteran I decided. Apparently he still thought there was a war going on because he acted like he was ready to do battle on a daily basis. I asked my neighbor why we never saw his wife. He replied, “She’s been dead for 10 years, but every single day when he comes home from running errands he let’s her know he’s home. It’s sad really.”

Okay this guy was off his rocker. I just hoped he wouldn’t shoot me one day. We gave this guy a wide berth.

Nine months later, everything changed.

On January 17, at precisely 4:31 in the morning, the Northridge Earthquake hit. Did I mention I was living 1.5 miles from Northridge at the time? No? Well I was. When the earthquake happened it literally felt like a giant walked down the street, picked up our house, and shook us like mice in a jar.

In the pitch blackness I didn’t even see my bed move all the way across the room with me still in it. I heard glass breaking, lamps crashing to the ground, and wood creaking. The worst was the sound of the roof cracking. I literally thought I was going to die and be buried in the rubble. I decided that if I was going to die, I wanted to die screaming. I opened my mouth to scream and no sound came out. I tried as hard as I could to scream but my throat was closed up tight. Oh well, I decided I’d have to die in silence.

When the shaking stopped I couldn’t believe I was still alive. Todd came running in from his bedroom to find out if I was alright. This was the big one. The one you grow up preparing for but are never actually prepared for.

There was no light anywhere. The power was completely out in the city. As soon as I could muster it, I got out of bed and Todd and I started walking through the house to gauge the damage. The contents of the kitchen were all on the floor. Even the refrigerator and freezer doors were open and now empty. Every glass, dish, and bowl was shattered on the floor. There were significant cracks in the beams of the house. A painting on the wall in the living room had landed 30 feet away in the dining room.

Incredibly, two very important things survived. A lemon cake I’d made the night before was still sitting on the counter right where I’d left it. I don’t think it moved an inch. A miracle! And my computer. My little Macintosh computer was still sitting on my desk, undamaged and unmoved. Praise God!

We had a problem though. We were trapped in the house. A heavy bookcase had fallen in front of the door and was blocking our exit. The back door was stuck, it wouldn’t open. There was so much glass on the ground and we couldn’t find shoes in the dark so our bare feet were getting cut up by glass as we moved around. It was horrible.

Everything was in shambles. Stress was very high. All of a sudden we saw a flashlight from outside coming our way. And then we heard a man’s deep voice. “Are you kids okay?” We looked out the tiny bedroom window. The man behind the flashlight was Crabface!

We responded, “Yeah, we’re okay but we can’t get the door open. It’s blocked.” He yelled back to us, “Don’t worry. I’m coming! I’ll get you out.” And all of a sudden he was there. He jimmied the door open with some kind of tool and then hacked away at the bookcase until he had cleared a path for us. As far as I was concerned, Superman had just appeared at the door. He led us out onto the street. Then he said, “Stay here, I’m going to turn off your gas and come back to check you out.”

We stood there freezing in our pajamas, bare bleeding feet, huddled in the dark, while this miracle of a man took complete charge of the situation. He came back from around our house and said, “Had to turn the gas off. There’s a huge gas leak in the neighborhood. See there?” He pointed to a spot behind our house. A few blocks away we could see a huge spire of fire in the air. What on earth was THAT!? It rose about a hundred feet into the air.

He checked us out very quickly, saw we were in state of emotional shock, but not significantly injured. He said, “Sit down on the driveway and wait for me. I need to check on everyone else.” And then he was gone. He went to every single house on the block and helped and liberated everyone who needed help, turning off the gas at every house he went to. He moved like lightning. We could see his flashlight bobbing around in the dark.

People were coming out onto the street. Everyone was moving slowly, clearly numb. No one on our block seemed to be significantly injured, but we had a lot of elderly people on the street and some of them were having chest pains.

Then Crabface gathered us all together and started barking orders at us. “Don’t go in your house until I’ve checked the structure. Once I’ve cleared your structure, go inside and find some clothing, put on some shoes, and get as much food as you can and bring it out here. Do not use the water in your pipes, it’s probably tainted. If you have camping supplies, bring them.”

Phone lines were dead. We couldn’t call our families to tell them what happened. That was frustrating. I had family scattered all around the valley and at this point we didn’t know how close to the epicenter we were and we didn’t know if our families were still alive.

As dawn approached we began to see the devastation with our own eyes. If you stood in the backyard of your house, you could see down the entire street of backyards because every single wall was rubble on the ground. We were united in that moment. We were a family. And Crabface was our leader.

He was the one with the emergency supplies, the radio, the food, the flashlights, the heavy tools, the hard hat, the camping equipment. He passed out water purification tablets which was great because we eventually found out that all our water was tainted with giardia.

Todd’s dad was the first to reach us. Once he saw that we were okay, he had to take off to find the rest of his family. I sent him with a message to find mine. There were no cell phones at this time. Trees and power poles were down and driving was super dangerous. Sinkholes had even opened up in some locations.

My family was okay, but an entire wall of my parents’ house came down, along with the chimney. Todd’s family gave us food and water. The structure of our house was surprisingly intact. Apparently when you are super close to the epicenter the shaking is very tight, whereas the outlying areas get the rolling wave which takes down structures. So we didn’t have to go to a shelter.

We spent three days just picking up the pieces (and living on lemon cake!). The entire time Crabface was on hand to help everyone. He became the defacto leader on our block. And you know what? He changed. He was happy as a clam. He was in his element. And we were all extremely grateful to him for helping us and for taking charge.

After the earthquake, he didn’t sit on his porch with his gun anymore. Instead he took walks up and down the block asking people if they needed help with anything. He waved to the children on the block and gathered them around to tell them stories of the war. He stopped to have long chats with people tending their lawns outside. He came over and taught us how to turn off the gas in an emergency, and started fixing some things around our house. He was a changed man. He even stopped telling Martha he was home.

The day the walls came down was the day all of our walls came down. We embraced him and he embraced us. It’s sad that it took an earthquake to shake the judgment out of us. But I’m glad it did. The earthquake brought us together. And it introduced us to a fascinating hero of a man. His name was Bill.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Before 2009 I was blogging and doing intuitive readings and earning a six-figure income every year. My husband, Steve, sent me a ton of traffic through his highly popular website, www.StevePavlina.com. I wanted for nothing. Free traffic, no marketing, a service-based business where I was earning a lot of money. I was doing what I loved, helping people, and being very successful at running an online business.

In October 2009, Steve and I separated. At the time Steve was earning twice as much money as I was and we were living in a 6-bedroom, 4300 square foot home. We also owned a smaller home 6 miles away that was 4-bedrooms and 2000 square feet. Logically it seemed likely Steve would take the smaller home and I’d stay with the kids in the bigger one. But the mortgage on the bigger home was 6 times what it was on the smaller home. Based on what I was earning and the anticipated amount of child support I would probably get, I decided to move into the smaller home so I could sleep easy at night knowing I was fully covered financially.

So the kids and I moved to the smaller home and I began to rebuild my life emotionally after separating from the man I thought would be my companion for life. We didn’t separate for lack of love, it was lack of compatibility. We were both happier with each other after we separated.

So I kept going the way I had been going, doing readings and blogging, but we started to see my income take a dip. Hmm, what’s going on? Steve still had me linked on his site, and would still promote me sometimes, but not as often. I started to realize I was relying on his site to send me traffic and that it was a dangerous reliance. I knew, because we had discussed it, that eventually Steve would need to take my links off his site, and I’d need to sink or swim without him. Honestly, I was nervous about what would happen. I’d never bothered to market myself. Did I have a viable business on its own merits?

As an experiment, while we were still tied together financially, we took all my links off his site and waited three months to see what would happen. We knew this would give us a preview of what would happen when we were no longer attached on a business level.

The results of our experiment were notable and devastating. I lost 80% of my incoming traffic and 50% of my income. Ouch! Steve offered to put the links back up, but I told him not to. I knew I was going to need to figure this out eventually, and decided now was a good time.

This is where I learned the biggest lesson I’ve learned in a long time. You don’t know what you’re made of until someone removes your life jacket and you’re forced to swim or drown.

It’s fair to say I became a workaholic. I had to. I had to rebuild my income and my traffic. I wanted to be able to provide for myself and my children without Steve’s help. I didn’t want to rely on anyone, I wanted to be independent for the first time in my life. I wanted to provide my own security.

This is when my creativity started to really blossom. Up until this point all I was doing was blogging and doing readings. Now that wasn’t enough. I knew I had to step it up and start thinking of other ways to generate income using my talents, skills, abilities, and the loyal traffic I had left.

My first solution was to create a product. I spent just two weeks working on this non-stop and my first product was done. An audio program called Raising Your Vibration. I put that out for sale and it sold very well. Awesome. But still not quite back to the level I was at before the separation.

What else could I do? How about a workshop? I don’t really love public speaking but decided to partner up with the ladies in my mastermind group and we did a one-day intuition workshop. That brought in some money, but it was just a one-time thing. I needed something that would increase my income on a monthly basis.

That’s when the Professional Intuitive Training Program came into being. My first two students asked me to teach them how to do what I was doing. I knew I could teach it so I brought them out for a week and trained them both. It went amazingly well. A whole new stream of income was born. I started offering the Professional Intuitive Training to more students and discovered I love teaching! Before long, my income was back to the exact same level it was at when I separated.

I started doing more marketing by writing articles for other publications, doing interviews with other bloggers, and hooking up with The Daily Brainstorm who publishes all my blog articles to their hundreds of thousands of readers.

I did a teleseminar which is now for sale as another product. Then I compiled a bunch of my articles into an ebook by theme, The Other Side. That sold well too.

I hooked up with an amazing coach, Rich Litvin, and we started offering one day super intensive sessions to one person at a time who wanted to make an amazing transformation in their lives.

And now I’m hosting my first ever 2-day workshop, the Intuition Development Workshop.

I look back over the last two years and completely changed my business model. Whereas before 100% of my income came from readings, today the distribution is much different.

In 2010 my income by percentages looked like this:

Readings: 78%
Product Sales: 10%
Workshops and Trainings: 12%

In 2011 the percentages were:

Readings: 68%
Product Sales: 5%
Workshops, Coaching and Trainings: 27%

This is going the direction I want it to go. I’d like to get to a point where readings are not my bread and butter. I’d rather be working with large groups of people at the same time, or continue training people to become professional intuitives. It’s a more effective use of my time and energy.

So now it’s 2012. My traffic is at 70% of what it was when I was attached to Steve, but my income is back to the exact same level it was during the years I was with him. So that means I’m utilizing my traffic more effectively than I was before, and my readers are very loyal and interested in what I sell.

I worked really hard. I took no vacations. My kids saw less of me than they did when I was married. But that’s what it took to get me back to where I am now. My next goal is to find a way to increase my income while decreasing the amount of time I work so that I can take a vacation (a real one), spend more time with my kids, start a new relationship, and get to the gym regularly.

What I learned in these last two years was that I was more capable than I ever thought I was. I learned to think outside the box. I tried so many more things than I’d been doing those first three years. I marketed myself much better than I ever had. Basically, I learned to swim while I was starting to drown. And I discovered I’m a strong swimmer.

It hasn’t been easy. I’ve made a ton of sacrifices to get back on top of the mountain. But it showed me who I am, and what I had deep inside of me. Plus now I’m serving more people in a better way than I ever had before.

If you’re going through anything similar, where your business is plummeting or slipping, I urge you to reach down into the deepest parts of yourself and ask yourself these questions:

• What else can I offer my current customers?
• How else could I train so that I’m better at what I do?
• How can I reach more people and introduce them to my product or service?
• Could I partner with someone and get better results?
• Could I adjust my pricing to make more money?
• Could I bundle what I do into a product that earns me passive income?
• Could I decrease my expenses to keep more profit?
• Could I work smarter to get more out of my time?
• Could I outsource things that cost me too much time and earn me little money?

Think outside your box. Be creative. Be resourceful. Don’t give up. Adjust your course. Try new methods. Learn, study, grow. Persist. You can do it!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

First I sat in the waiting room like everyone else. Shielded. Sitting two inches from another person but valiantly trying to maintain my space. I had a newspaper; the classic sign for “leave me alone.” I didn’t feel like engaging with anyone. I was only supposed to be there for 20 minutes after all. No time to make someone’s acquaintance.

But the universe threw a wrench at my car, and my mechanic said, “you’re due for the 120,000 mile service. We can do most of it here so you don’t have to go to the dealer. But it will take a good 45 minutes. Maybe longer.” Robble. But I acquiesced because I was already there. In for a penny, in for a pound, and the universe was surreptitiously tying my feet to my chair so I couldn’t leave anyway.

I decided, with a grand sigh, to put my newspaper down and engage with the other hapless victims of the mechanic’s shop. The kid next to me was reading a sci-fi novel. He was my first victim. All I did was say, “Man it always takes longer than you think it will.” He looked up, smiled, and started sharing his life story, as people are wont to do around me. I didn’t mind. I knew I was going to be there for a while. Universal tendrils snaked their way up my leg, tethering me further to my chair. Something was coming. Something important.

There was an old man with a cane and two hearing aids sitting near us. He looked like he was trying to nap. You see, because my car was being worked on so heavily, it backed up the entire line and the waiting room was filling up with people. I continued talking to sci-fi guy and gave him some advice to help him make a really important life-changing decision. I looked to the universe and said, “There, I helped this young man. Was that what you wanted? Can you untie me now? And can I get my car back?” The universe slowly shook its head.

A few minutes later the mechanic came in with an update, “Due to the position of your transmission this is going to take a little longer than we thought. Probably 2 hours.” Sheesh! I have things to do and was running out of people to talk to.

The universe cinched a belt around my waist and I saw new tendrils snaking their way around my arms, pinning me to the seat. Wow, whatever’s coming must be good! My poor car.

And then I saw him. The kid in the hoodie. He was coming our way. Was he going to enter the waiting room? I didn’t even see him leave a car anywhere. As soon as he walked in, everyone got shifty and the energy changed. What was jovial was now guarded. People clutched their belongings closer. Merely the presence of this hoodie was enough for people to start judging.

He was a kid, early twenties. Beautiful bleach blonde hair, gorgeous piercing green eyes, tan skin, super skinny, and he was deeply hidden by the cowl of his hoodie, his hands in his pocket. There was a light around this kid. Target acquired. The universe whispered in my ear, “Watch him. Carefully. You’ll know what to do when the time is right.” I was firmly pinned to my seat now with the gravitational force of an object launching into space. What was going to happen? Who was this kid? What was he going to do? What was his story?

We all sat there in silence. Then hoodie-kid got a phone call. He answered and we could hear at least one side of the call. Wasn’t hard to figure out what was happening. “No, Dad, I’m not going to make my fiancé take a bus to work. I gave her my truck.” “Look, Dad, it’s not a big deal. Nothing is going to happen.” “Well I don’t care if you don’t like it. It’s my truck and my decision.” “Because I love her, that’s why.” And the last thing he said was, “Tough shit.” And he hung up the phone. He was upset and sat down.

Now? I asked the universe. The universe said, “Not yet. Hang on a click.” I waited.

In a minute, hoodie-boy said to one in particular, “Parents!”

Old guy with the cane rolled his eyes. Sci-fi kid gave a polite snort of agreement but shook his head at the kid as if to say, “You should respect your parents.”

The universe said, “Now. Move in. Go.”

I leaned out a little, looked right at him and said, “Is your dad mad at you?” That was the key that opened the floodgate. “He’s not my real father. But yeah, he’s mad.” He then launched into his story, right there in front of everyone. The story went roughly like this:

“I grew up a rich kid in a great neighborhood in Los Angeles. My parents were both in the movie industry and I had it made. But when I was 14 my parents were both killed and I found myself suddenly alone. I was taken in by my aunt and uncle, but only until the inheritance money was firmly in their hands, then they kicked me out, knowing I had nowhere else to go. I didn’t care. I decided to stay on my own and be homeless.”

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and perked their ears. He continued.

“I slept behind the gym at my school, outside, sometimes inside the dumpster if it was clean. I was terrified that someone was going to find me and I figured if I was in the dumpster nobody would see me sleeping on school property. I took gym class first period so I could shower and wash my clothes. I lived on school breakfast and lunches, and sometimes I begged for money or food from others.”

I asked him why he didn’t go into foster care so at least he’d have a roof over his head and food in his belly. He said, “I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, and I didn’t want to ever risk losing family again.”

He continued, “Sometimes at night I had to go to a gas station and beg them to give me some food because I’m a diabetic and sometimes I just couldn’t wait until morning to eat again. It was tough. But I did okay, and graduated high school. Then one day I was sitting out on the beach and I ran into one of my dad’s old friends. When he found out I was homeless he took me in. And I let him because honestly I was tired of living on the street.”

The room was deathly quiet. People were rapt with attention.

“Now I’m 22 years old. I have a full time job and also go to college part time. My girlfriend has been with me since 7th grade and we’re getting married this year. She also works and goes to school. I don’t drink, and I don’t do drugs. I pay all my bills myself.”

At this time the old guy’s car was ready and he stood up to pay his bill. The moment he did, his cane dropped to the ground. Without hesitation, hoodie-kid rushed to pick up the man’s cane, and held it out to him saying, “Here you go, sir.” The old man looked at him strangely and said, “Uh, thanks.” He replied, “No problem, sir.”

As the old man left, he said to the kid in the hoodie, “You’re a good kid, son. I respect what you’ve been through and what you’re doing with your life.” Hoodie-guy said, “Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. You have a great day!”

His story was fascinating. I had so many questions about how he survived for 4 years on his own. Sci-fi kid got involved too, asking questions, and before long the room was simply full of respect for this young kid.

I said to the universe, “Wow, what an interesting kid. So, he pulled himself together and is living a good honest life. What do you want me to do with him now?” The universe replied, “Tell him to write a book about his life.” Awesome idea!

So I said, “Hey, you should share your story with others. Write a book about how you survived on your own.” He laughed and said, “It’s sort of funny you say that because you’re the 4th person this week to tell me that. I don’t know if you believe in signs but it sure seems like something or someone wants me to write a book. I would love to but doesn’t it cost like thousands of dollars to get something like that published?”

Ah, that was it. Now I knew what I was doing there and why the universe made my car so difficult to repair. I took the next 15 minutes to explain to him how to self-publish his book, how to find an agent, and divesting him of the beliefs he had about the trials and tribulations of getting a book published.

He was rapt with attention. He thanked me profusely. “Oh my god, you have no idea what you just did for me today. I had no idea I could do this or that it was possible to self-publish. I will totally get onto this website you gave me and get going on a book.” He hugged me twice. I told him he might even interest a publisher in his story and could potentially make some money. He said, “Oh I don’t care if it makes money. I just want to help other kids who are runaways or homeless. I have a warm bed to sleep in every night. That’s all I need in the world to be happy. People take their beds for granted, but I’ll tell you that after sleeping on concrete for 4 years, a bed is the biggest luxury there is.”

Sci-fi guy said, “Dude, you’re awesome. I’m never complaining about my life again.” I asked hoodie his name. He said, “Brandon.” I told him my name. He said, “I can’t believe I met you today. You totally changed my life. Do you believe in spirits? I think my parents are still looking out for me from beyond. And I think they sent you into my life to help me.”

I winked at him and said, “Could be.” I hugged him. Twice. His energy was amazing.

At that moment my mechanic walked in and said, “Your car is done. Let me show you what’s under the hood.” I smiled and thought to myself, “I know what’s under the hood. A really special kid who is going to change people’s lives for the better.”

Sometimes you are the change in someone’s life. Look for the light, listen for the whispers, and see the opportunities to help others. You never know what’s under the hood.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Once I discovered that I could access my intuition on command, a whole new way of living opened up to me. It’s like having another sense beyond seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting. It’s knowing. It’s getting information that doesn’t come through logic or reason or probability, yet it’s accurate and helpful.

After I mastered accessing my own intuition, I trained to the point where I could tune in to other people and get guidance for them when they couldn’t get it for themselves. Today I’m a professional intuitive, able to relay information between my clients and their guides so they can get solutions to all of their problems, plus wisdom and insight on their path. I know for a fact that being intuitive helps you have a better life, but I know there are people out there who don’t understand the power of intuition and what it can do for you. So here are 10 ways your intuition can help you (yes YOU) have a better life:

1. Saves You Time
I frequently read for clients who chose a college major, graduated, and at the age of 22 or 24 realize they aren’t remotely interested in getting a job in their field of study. A quick tap into their intuition when they were 17 and applying to college could easily have saved them 4-6 years of wasted time.

A more mundane example would be the time my intuition told me to grab $40 out of the bank before picking my kids up from school Even though there was no logical reason that I could think of, I went and got the $40 from the ATM. When I got to school, the aftercare worker told me we owed them $40. I whipped out the $40 I had just gotten, paid my bill, and took my kid and left. If I hadn’t listened to my intuition I would have had to drive back to the bank to get money and then back to school to get my kid.

And this happens all the time. When you’ve got your intuition on speed dial, you save time. Period! Whether it’s the little things that save 20 minutes or the big things that save 10 years, why waste time when you don’t have to?

2. Saves You Money
If you know in advance that something is a waste of money, you get to keep your money or spend it on something more worthwhile. Let’s say your sister-in-law needs to borrow money for her business and asks you for the dough. You tune in to your intuition and ask if your sister-in-law is going to pay you back. Your intuition tells you she means well but won’t be able to pull off the undertaking. You politely decline and put the money in your kid’s college fund instead. Money saved is money earned.

I recall a time one of my friends told me to invest in a company he was sure was going to do well financially. Even though on paper it looked like a good deal, and even though my very smart friend was investing a lot of money in the company, my intuition told me not to do it. I was almost disappointed because it looked so good on paper. As it turned out, 2 years later the company still wasn’t off the ground and in fact had plummeted so low that its stock wasn’t worth more than a few cents a share. My friend lost his life savings.

3. Makes You Money
Just as having intuition can save you money, it can also earn you money. You can use your intuition to help you make investments, to know what real estate purchases to make, to know who to work with, or what company to work for. I’ve had clients who have made millions of dollars off their intuition. I’ve also had clients who have used their intuition to come up with ideas for a fiction novel, a piece of artwork, or some jewelry they were creating – all sorts of creative ideas can come through intuition and generate money for you.

4. Gets You a Great Relationship
I can’t stress this one enough. You can get intuitive insight on every single person you meet. You can know almost immediately whether a person is right for you or whether there is an incompatibility that will manifest into a break-up situation.

Think of the heartache and anguish you could avoid if, when you met someone, you knew they were a cheater, a beater, a gold-digger or an addict.

Think of the utter bliss of being with someone you love, and knowing they love you.

Your intuition can guide you to the right meeting with the right person at just the right time and place. But you’ve got to be listening and acting on that intuitive information. If you aren’t accessing your intuition, you don’t get the information.

5. Allows You To Help Others
You can use your own intuition to help your friends and loved ones. You will know just what to say to inspire, motivate, or assist them. You’ll know when they’re down but hiding it, so you can gently support them emotionally and help them out of their slump. You’ll know what they most need to hear to help them. It’s really a gift to be able to help others, and being able to access your intuition will allow you to be the drop of water that sends ripples of positivity through the lives of others.

6. Improves Your Health
You can tune in to your own body and know intuitively what’s wrong with it. I’ve done readings where I’ve told clients about health issues that could literally have killed them if they didn’t get treatment in time. After doing this a few times I felt like quite the superhero, out there saving lives with my intuitive “super powers”.

You can use this ability before you try a diet or procedure to know whether it’s going to work for you or not. You can use it to prevent injuries that would sideline you for weeks or months. And let’s not even get into the more severe health issues – intuition can be your own personal life saver.

7. Helps You Find Your Life Purpose
I use my intuition to make sure I stay on the path of my life purpose. I use it to tune in to my higher self and spirit guides and get valuable advice, wisdom, and insight related to my path, then I make adjustments that will get me where I want to go faster.

You can use your intuition to tune in to your life purpose and check in along the way to make sure you are still on track. Being aligned with your life purpose feels fantastic, like you are in the flow, not even needing to row your boat down the river of life, but instead letting the current pull you in the right direction.

8. Helps You Solve Problems
You can ask your intuition for help in solving problems. I do this all the time. I get stuck with a problem or situation whose solution eludes me, so I get quiet, tune in to my intuition, and just ask what I need to know to help me solve the problem. Often your intuition sees something you don’t, or has a piece to the puzzle that you don’t, and when you get intuitive information you can then clearly see what you need to do. It’s really powerful in that way.

For example, I was dealing with a difficult relative recently and just couldn’t figure out how to get through to them, so I tuned in to my intuition, heard what I needed to hear, and was able to approach the situation in a much better way so that we had a greater understanding.

I’ve also used my intuition to figure out what steps to take next with my business, how to handle my daughter’s issue with homework, and how to switch my diet to be better aligned with health.

9. Can Save Your Life in an Emergency
Stories abound of people who were in life or death emergency situations and heard a little voice in their head guiding them out of danger. That voice is your intuition. The more familiar you are with what your intuitive modality is and how you personally receive intuition, the more likely you’ll be able to access and hear that voice when you really need it. So the sooner you know how your intuition works, the better!

10. Helps You Forgive Others
Developing your intuition and being able to access it consciously will help you in any personal conflict because you’ll be able to intuit what the other person really means, not just what they’re saying, so you can directly address what they mean and not what they say. You can also use your intuition to better understand where a person is coming from so you don’t jump to conclusions or end up in a long drawn out battle. This leads to forgiveness and understanding, and less conflict in your life. When someone is yelling at you, most of the time all you hear is their words. With intuition, you’ll hear their pain, which you can address directly, and which usually has nothing to do with you.

How to Develop Your Intuition
Now you know how beneficial it is to develop your intuition. So now how do you do it? You can read books, articles and blogs. You can get an audio program. You can work with a professional intuitive and get coaching. There are many ways.

I invite you to come to my Intuition Development Workshop, April 28-29, where you will spend two full days learning how to understand, access, and strengthen your intuition. And you’ll have this skill and ability the rest of your life.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

But after I opened up registration, even though tickets sold, I also received emails from people who really wanted to come but couldn’t afford the higher pricing. These were people who had been telling me for months how excited they were to come to the workshop, and I felt bad that they now couldn’t come because of the price.

Others told me “Hey, there will always be people for whom the price is too high no matter what you charge.” But still, my intuition was niggling at me, and I started to feel very unsettled about what was happening.

Finally last Monday, I woke in a state of total dis-ease. My body was literally agitated with physical discomfort. I was so stressed, I could feel the stress chemical (cortisol?) running through my body. I wasn’t feeling panicked or anxious – I was just feeling like what I was doing was not in the flow. Like I was trying to row my boat upstream and like I was going against the current.

So I tuned in to my guides to find out what I needed to know and I immediately received the guidance I needed, the guidance I had ignored before because of logic. I knew I couldn’t do the workshop at the higher pricing, even if people were willing to pay it. I knew that at the higher price I could earn more money but potentially sell less tickets. And honestly what it comes down to for me is that I want to teach intuition development to as many people as possible (and apparently my guides concur).

My first reaction was to simply cancel the workshop, deciding I would offer it again in the future and give people more time to come, plan, and make travel arrangements. But after talking to some of my friends and associates, they encouraged me to simply write about what I experienced and offer the workshop at the original price I intended – $397 per seat.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I believe developing your intuition can help you with every aspect of your life. It’s sure helped me with mine. I’m a professional, and as you can see even I sometimes forget how powerful intuition can be! I’m trusting my intuition now, and offering the workshop at the lower price. I want you to come, I want you to learn how to use your intuition, and I want to teach you how to use this tool because I think it’s that awesome.

The workshop is April 28-29, which is coming up in just a few weeks. I’m still limiting the number of tickets for sale because I want to be able to give as much personalized attention to my students as possible.

The price for the workshop will be $397 until March 28. After that it will go to $497. So please register early so you can get the early-bird pricing.

For detailed information about the workshop, go to the Intuition Development Workshop page on my site.

Or, if you’re ready to roll, Register Now.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

For a long time I’ve envisioned myself being part of a team that was working to help shift the planet to a vibration of love, gratitude, joy, and compassion.

I’ve met some amazing and wonderful people over the years. Some of them have been clients that I’ve read for. Some of them have been thought leaders and members of the personal development community. Some are peers and mentors, and some are just starting out on the path.

So many of us want to help others, help the planet, and see a shift. Some are transitioning into careers that do just that, and others struggle to find the path. Some are having an amazing impact already, and some are just awakening to the idea that this is possible.

What I’ve been envisioning is creating an organization that could provide resources, support, and leadership to those looking to have a positive impact on our planet.

I’ve held this vision for years while I ran my business – doing readings, training others to be professional intuitives, releasing products, and writing articles on the topics of spiritual, psychic, and personal development. However, although I could clearly see where I wanted to go, I was having trouble figuring out how to manifest my vision. So I continued to hold the vision, trusting it would manifest when the time was right and in its own perfect way.

A Vision Manifested
In early February, it happened. Exactly the right person stepped into my life, and after three days of intense energy work and discussion, we decided to become partners and create a new company that would support, organize, and assist people who want to help the planet.

That person is Udi Dahan. And the company we’ve formed is called SourceFinity.

SourceFinity is evolving every day, but right now we have a solid vision of providing leadership, support, and a sense of community among the multitude of people who want to see the planet shift towards the light.

I’m honored and privileged to be working with Udi, as he is an amazing, spiritually gifted man, who has the experience and wisdom to guide this company with me.

I invite you to explore the site (still in its infancy) and join with us as we begin this journey.

What about ErinPavlina.com?
So what does this mean for the ErinPavlina.com site? ErinPavlina.com will still be here. My products, articles, and videos will stay on the site and continue to be accessible. I will now be doing my readings through SourceFinity, and the Professional Intuitive Trainings will also be offered through SourceFinity.

Intuition Development Workshop
Which brings me to my other big announcement… I’m officially announcing that registration is open for the Intuition Development Workshop. SourceFinity will be selling the tickets to this event, which will be on April 28-29 in Las Vegas at the Flamingo Hotel. You’ll find all the details at SourceFinity.

When you get there, you’ll see we’re offering three ticket options. A general admission for those who simply want to attend the workshop, and two other options for those who want a more intense, personal and extended experience. I wanted to make sure that everyone who attends gets as much personal attention as possible. For that reason we’re keeping the event pretty small, so if you want to go, please book early.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be stepping into the vision I’ve held for so long. I want to awaken and empower the lightworkers. I want to lead, grow, and create together. I want to be part of a team of people working in the flow to create a better world for everyone.

So pop on over to the SourceFinity site, register, and join us on this journey!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

You’re probably already familiar with what it’s like to have sex as a physical human being, but did you know that you can also engage in sexual liaisons outside of your physical body? Yes, it’s true. You’re not limited to the physical. There’s a whole other world of sex, pleasure, and unbridled passion awaiting you outside of your physical shell. And today I’m going to tell you all about it.

There’s more than one way to have non-corporeal sex. You can have sex in your dreams with a dream character. You can have sex while astral with a corporeal being, or sex while astral with another astral playmate. You can also have sex with a demon or low vibrational entity. Or you can go completely beyond the confines of the physical and non-physical and have a blissful ethereal experience that is unlike anything you can imagine; yes, better than any kind of sex you can imagine!

So let’s go over each of these and I’ll explain what it is and how to achieve it.

Dream Sex
Having sex in your dreams is fun, pleasurable, and safe. It’s just you and your dream character and no one ever has to know what you’re up to. Thanks to my ability to lucid dream, I’ve been blessed to have had sex with every hot actor, fictional character, and good looking real life friends, when I want, the way I want, and as many times as I want. And you can do this too. Just learn how to lucid dream and, when the situation presents itself, you can snap your fingers and engage in sexual activity with whoever you want. If you aren’t a master at lucid dreaming, you may still end up with a sex dream accidentally. But believe me, it’s worth learning how to do it lucidly.

If you’re a woman, dream sex can actually lead to having a real and true orgasm. More than likely you will wake up while in the throes of your orgasm and find your body actually having one.

If you’re a man, this is more tricky. Mostly what I hear from men is that they wake up with an erection and extremely horny, but don’t actually ejaculate in the dream or upon waking. If you’re a man, and you have, please let us know this is possible. Half the world awaits your testimonial.

Dream sex can lead to a lot of frustration though. Most of the time it doesn’t lead to climax, so you wake particularly hot, bothered, and unfulfilled. Still worth trying though.

Astral/Corporeal Sex
There is also a way to engage in sex where one person is astral (out of body) and one person is still in the body. If you are astral, you can go visit someone and attempt to merge your energy with theirs while they are sleeping (it won’t work if they are awake as your frequencies will be totally off). This should always and only be done with consent of the person you’re visiting, otherwise we’re talking astral rape and that’s not cool.

Once you are out of body, fly to the person’s body. You will likely see both their physical body on the bed and their astral body floating inside it, like a peanut rattling in a shell. With great love, tenderness and respect you can overlay your energy onto theirs and cast loving sexual thoughts their way. What’s going to happen is that you will experience a sexual bliss that is not localized to a body part, and your partner will either dream that they are having sex, or simply become sexually aroused without consciously realizing what’s happening.

If your friend is accomplished at lucid dreaming, this act will likely trigger lucidity. If not, they may phone you in the morning and tell you about the hot dream they had about you.

This particular method is not terribly fulfilling because usually only one of you is conscious of what’s going on.

Astral Playmates
If you can find a partner who is also accomplished at astral projection, then the two of you can meet on the astral plane and engage in astral sex together and consciously. It’s difficult to accomplish as you have to be out at the same time, on the same plane, and at the same astral frequency. The closer you are to each other emotionally, the more accomplished you are at astral projection, and the more you practice meeting up, the more success you will have.

Pick a location ahead of time and a time when you will attempt to meet. If one of you is better at astral projection, fly to the other person’s house and wake them up astrally, and then fly to your romantic destination together. Once you’re ready, you will simply hug or merge your energy together. Cast loving and sexual thoughts at your partner and you will trigger a release of pleasure that will reverberate through your entire energetic self and probably also to your body back on your bed. It’s a combination of bliss and the sensation of physical pleasure. Great stuff!

When I was in high school I was lucky enough to have 3 friends who were accomplished enough at astral projection for the four of us to engage in this behavior at will. Good times.

Sex with Demons or Lower Vibrational Entities
And now for the dark side of astral sex. Sometimes an entity that normally resides on the astral plane can come to you and stimulate you sexually for the purposes of swiping your energy. Look up incubi and succubi for more info on that.

Here’s the thing, though. These entities can come to you against your will and essentially rape you. If you’ve ever been stuck in a sleep paralysis state and felt someone touching you in your special areas, and got aroused even though you were terrified, you’re basically being astrally raped. This is no bueno! You must immediately call in your angels or spirit guides or whatever deity you pray to, to come and remove the interloper pronto. Your energy is being violently taken from you. You will wake up feeling lethargic and it can take hours to replace that energy.

Unfortunately sometimes people end up in a parasitic relationship with such entities. The entity gives you a ton of pleasure (and we’re talking about more pleasure than any human being can generate while corporeal), and you feel like it’s worth losing a little of your energy to obtain such bliss, so you don’t resist or push them away. In fact, you invite them to come back for another “session.” Over time, this leads to you losing a ton of energy which can manifest as apathy towards the real world or real love, and depression, anxiety, and sometimes shame, fear and suicidal thoughts. Not to mention leaking little parts of your soul to an entity who doesn’t have good intentions.

If you’re a woman, having sex with a demon or astral entity will feel like someone stimulating the g-spot of every single one of your chakras at the same time. It’s ridiculously pleasurable, and something no human can accomplish, so it can turn enticing very quickly. But I urge and caution you to avoid this slippery slope of parasitic sex. It’s not worth losing your soul.

If you do find yourself in an unwanted sexual relationship with a non-corporeal entity, you’ve got to ask the archangels to sever your connection and protect you from being visited by them anymore. A clean break. Just end it, and find a playmate in real life to satisfy you.

Ethereal Bliss Sex
The final method for out of body pleasure is pure universal bliss. It’s you merging your soul with Love. It won’t feel like physical sex. It is beyond any pleasure known to the physical form. It is almost indescribable if you haven’t felt it but imagine becoming one with EVERYTHING and feeling totally loved, connected, cared for, and blissful. And perfect. The way to achieve this is to go astral, and reach out to Source/Creator/Consciousness. The merging is timeless, spaceless and absolute. You probably won’t want to go back to your body, but you must. If you get the opportunity to experience this, it’s awesome, but rare. Enjoy the experience!

Be Safe
So there you have it. All the different ways to have sex on another plane. Some of it is awesome, some of it is a little dark, but at least you don’t have to worry about contraception! If there’s an astral sexually transmitted disease it’s probably lust, addiction, and losing your soul, so be careful who you’re playing with out there. And be respectful of other people.

Have fun tonight!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Hear me now. You do not have to have your life together in order to help someone get theirs together. You don’t.

Knowing how to help someone else has nothing to do with how perfect your life is. If you had to be perfect in order to help someone else, there would be no people at all in the self-help industry.

Seriously, what do you see among the “gurus” out there? Divorce, addiction, bankruptcy, jail time, melt-downs, even suicides. Doesn’t make a whit of difference, they’re still helping others. How is this possible?

Your ability to help someone has to do with your ability to find out what’s blocking a person from achieving success and then helping them get over that block. Helping someone is about seeing where they are stuck, and helping them get over the hurdle. It’s about seeing where they have fallen out of vibrational harmony, then helping them find it again. And that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with your personal life, how you handle your own problems, and how perfect your life is. Nothing.

I don’t want to hear you use this excuse: “I’ll help other people once I’ve figured out how to make my own life perfect.” No. You will never get there then.

Take Beverly DeAngelis. She’s a famous relationship expert. She used to be married to John Gray, another famous relationship expert. With a divorce under their belts they continue to give good solid relationship advice to others.

Many financial experts have experienced bankruptcy. They still give great advice to others.

I had a therapist when I was a teenager who was a raging alcoholic, but he healed me of my anxiety, and I’ll be forever grateful to him.

Am I saying you can go out tomorrow and be a guru on a whim? No. You need to build up your tools and tactics. You need to practice your skills and techniques. You need to refine your approach. You need to train yourself or get training from experts. But you absolutely do not need to wait until your life is perfect to begin learning the tools and techniques to assist others.

I was at a Tony Robbins seminar back in the 90′s. He shared with the audience that he used to have a belief that he wasn’t educated enough to help anyone. So many other people in his field had degrees. He didn’t have a single one. But he changed this belief to “I have a PhD in results.” And he did. He found a way to help others, and began helping others. Then, even while he was divorcing his first wife, he still helped other people with their relationships. What a concept!

Do you want to help other people? Do you have a burning desire to give to others, help them with their lives, and assist them in overcoming life’s challenges? Then let nothing stop you. No excuses. Get started. You already have it within you to succeed, now get out of your own way.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

I am not remotely daunted by this situation, nor do I feel undue pressure to perform. In every reading I do, I am simply a relay. I tune in to a client’s spirit guides and they tell me what my client most needs to know to help him on his path. I don’t have to figure out how to help anyone. I just listen to their guides and pass along vital information.

Your spirit guides know where you are, what you’ve been through, and how to help you. They know what you’ve gotten yourself into, they know what is blocking you from happiness, and they know how to fix your situation. If you can’t hear them, I can do that for you.

Because I’ve done so many readings for people who want to die, I’ve begun to understand the pattern. You want something, you go after it, you don’t get it, and you stop in your tracks. For some people, this is no big deal. They say “shucks,” turn around, back track a little, and try another path. But for others, seeing the dead end in the maze of life is enough to cause great despair of ever finding anything in the maze worth having. They don’t have the strength or energy to keep going. So they decide to either end their lives or wish a bus would slam them into oblivion.

But life doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t need to get to the point of wanting to bug out. Here is what you can do to battle the desire to suicide.

Don’t give your power away
If you decide that the only way you can be happy is to accomplish x or to have y and you don’t have complete control over getting x or y then you are giving your power away. If it’s not in your complete control to achieve it, then you can fail to have it. And if failing to have it is going to cause you to want to end your life, then you are giving your power away to something that was never yours to begin with. Don’t do it. If you’re counting on something external to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, be the author of your own life. Work with what you can control.

Listen to your intuition
Your spirit guides constantly broadcast wisdom, insight, and advice your way. That’s their job. They are trying to help you achieve your goals. If you can’t hear them, it’s easy to lose your way in the maze. If you could hear them, you’re more likely to get where you want to go. It’s the simple. Avoid getting lost, learn how to tune in to your own spirit guides and intuition.

Be happy along the journey
So many people think they will be happy when they reach a certain goal. They want to get to the top of the mountain but don’t enjoy the hike. Don’t do that to yourself. If you’re not enjoying the process, you’re going to be that much more disappointed when your goal is denied to you. You will feel like you wasted a lot of time, money, and effort in the pursuit of something you didn’t get. But if you’re enjoying your life, and enjoying the journey, then if you reach a dead end you’ll still have the energy to turn around and find another way.

Have a backup plan
Is there only one way to get what you want? Is there really only one woman who will make you happy? One job that will make you feel successful? Is it really true that if you can’t have children that life isn’t worth living? If having something is outside your control, I highly suggest you have a backup plan. That way if you run into that brick wall, you still have other ways of living that will make you happy. Don’t put all your eggs into one basket, because if the basket hits that brick wall, all you’ve got is a scrambled mess of a life. Stuff happens. Have a backup plan and you will never feel so blocked that you can’t go on.

Ask for help when you need it
You can ask people for help when you are lost in the maze or if you hit the brick wall. Get support from your loved ones. Sometimes you smack that wall so hard, you can’t see straight. Let your friends and family take you by the shoulders and guide you back to a new path. Let them love and support you until you get your wits about you again. People can’t help you if they don’t know you’re stuck or hurting. Reach out.

Carry power tools
Sometimes you don’t have to back track through the maze of life. Sometimes you can bust through a brick wall like it’s not even there. This could mean finding a creative solution to a problem, turning a no into a yes, or ramming the barrier so hard that it simply crumbles at your feet. The power tools you want to take with you into the maze of life include: resourcefulness, creativity, the ability to negotiate, fortitude, courage, strong social connections, discipline, a positive attitude, etc. With these tools at your side, you may never be daunted by a brick wall again.

***
The bottom line here is to guard your energy while you’re walking. Don’t decide in advance that the only way to be happy is to achieve a certain goal, because if that goal is denied to you, you’re going to feel despair and lose all hope of ever being happy.

The trick with life is to be flexible. Once you decide what is you close your mind to the possibilities of what may be. Maybe there’s a reason you didn’t get that job. Maybe there’s a reason she said no to your proposal of marriage. Maybe there’s a reason you ended up not having children. You’ll never know it if you leave the game prematurely.

Trust in the universe. Trust your intuition. Listen to your guides. The maze is big and there’s much to explore. Enjoy the journey every day.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Should I join a gym? That would take a huge chunk out of my precious work day.

Should I buy a piece of equipment for the home? We all know those end up as clothes horses.

Should I get a buddy? Would they be reliable?

Should I go hiking? That was an hour of driving round trip plus the hike time itself.

Should I just take a walk each day? How would that ever lead to weight loss?

And what about the kids? Between working and taking care of the kids, there just wasn’t any time!

So my friend looks at me and says, “Those are all just excuses. If you wanted to exercise, you’d exercise.”

Maybe, I sulked, but they seemed like good excuses to me. We stopped talking about exercise because he didn’t seem to understand my difficulties. He wasn’t empathizing very well.

The next morning I woke up at 6am refreshed and feeling fantastic. I remembered what my friend had said the night before. If I really wanted to exercise, I’d exercise. I’d find a way.

So I decided to just do it. In a flash I put on my sweat pants, a tank top, and my hiking shoes. I found a holder for my keys, some Kleenex, and my iPhone. Stuck my headphones in there and made sure I could hear my music. I woke Kyle up and told him I was going jogging and not to be scared if he woke up later and didn’t see me in the house. He said in a groggy voice, “Fine fine, Mama, you go do that.”

I walked out of the house and within 30 seconds I was jogging. Me. Jogging. I haven’t jogged in about 12 years. I didn’t care whether it was a good idea or not. I just wanted to do it.

The little ego imp on my shoulder said, “You’re going to hurt yourself. You’ll twist an ankle. You’ll have a heart attack.” I said, “I don’t care. Still doing it.”

He said, “You’ll never be able to sustain this pace. You’re going to be done in 2 minutes.” I said, “Then I’ll walk until I catch my breath and start jogging again.”

He said, “You’re going to be sore tomorrow. Do you really want to deal with soreness for 2 days? Is it worth it for this little jog that isn’t going to do anything for you anyway?” I told him to shut his pie hole.

He shut it.

I kept jogging. After a couple of minutes I was breathless so I walked. When I caught my breath I started jogging again. I didn’t want to stop. I was having a blast. The music mysteriously kept pace with me. I was listening to Within Temptation and when there was a fast song, I was jogging, and when there was a ballad I was walking. I was totally in sync.

My left ankle and knee weren’t feeling too spiffy but I kept going. I was super cold, so I put my hands in my jacket pockets and kept going. The garbage men were keeping pace with me at one point. I was so self-conscious, but me and my jiggly butt kept going. I ran around the block twice. I don’t know what the distance was but I was out there for a good 20 minutes. I was thrilled with my success.

I ran inside the house, made breakfast for the kids and packed their lunches, then took a hot shower.
I emailed my friend and told him I had gone jogging. He was shocked. I told him I had thought about what he said the night before. No excuses. If you want to do it, you do it.

I was super sore the next couple of days. My friend said, “That just means it’s working and you did a good job. Embrace the soreness.” So I did. Ouch. Definitely going to stretch before jogging and stretch afterwards.

Now before I go to bed I put my workout clothes in the bathroom so that as soon as I’m done brushing my teeth in the morning I can put the clothes on and get out of the house within minutes. No excuses.

What I learned from this was that if you want to do something, you find a way to do it. Nothing will stop you.

Ask yourself right now what one thing would you like to do, be, or have, and see what excuses you come up with as to why you don’t have it. If you really want it, squash the excuses and get it done. Just decide that nothing is going to prevent you from getting what you want.

Nothing feels as good as stomping on the excuses and showing them who’s boss. It’s your life. Just do it!

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Answer: It can be super frustrating to desire to connect with a specific deceased relative and they never seem to show up to the party.

I recall reading for a gal and her dad was coming through really strongly. He told me his name, gave her some validation, and we were off and running. My client said, “Yeah, that’s my dad. He comes to every reading. He’s around all the time.” Meanwhile, she was frustrated because she also wanted to hear from her mother who never seemed to come through.

Why do some spirits always show up and others never come? There could be several reasons.

First, the deceased person may not want to come through. For whatever reason, they may simply not desire to communicate. That doesn’t mean they hate you. That doesn’t mean they can’t come through. That doesn’t mean they aren’t watching over you. Perhaps they don’t want to interfere in the course of your life. Perhaps they trust that you can get along without their guidance or interruption.

Second, the deceased person may not be able to come through. Deceased people don’t get to the other side suddenly able to speak energetically to a living person. It takes energy and finesse to communicate with the living. Your deceased loved one may not have figured it out yet. Give them time.

Third, the deceased may have disconnected. Some people cross over and are fully engaged with their new existence in the ether. They disconnect their energy from their old life and are simply done. They turn their attention in an entirely new direction. Don’t be insulted. You’ll understand when you reach the ether yourself that sometimes you stay emotionally connected with the living and sometimes you don’t.

Fourth, the deceased may be there but no one is hearing them. Sometimes the dead are jumping up and down around us, trying to get our attention, but we don’t detect them. It’s not easy. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Sometimes the medium is unable to get the right frequency. Sometimes the dead person is not transmitting in a way that the medium can pick up. If the medium is very clairsentient but the dead person is transmitting in a clairvoyant way, then the medium may be unable to detect the presence of the dead person. Keep trying with different mediums, or keep trying on your own.

I know it can feel very sad if you’re trying to get closure or reconnect with a loved one and they don’t seem to be there, but you don’t want to expend so much energy trying to communicate with a deceased loved one that you stop living your own life. This is why it’s vitally important to tell your loved ones how much you love them while they are still here.

In the meantime, send love to your dearly departed. They will receive it. Take comfort in knowing they are alright and that you’ll see them again when you reach the other side.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

Here are the job details:

On the business side, duties include:
Managing emails and correspondence
Booking appointments
Client correspondence
Working with affiliates and partners
Interfacing with my web developer
Light administrative work
Research
Workshop assistance and event planning
Order fulfillment
Customer Service

On the personal side, duties include:
Running errands (bank, post office, office supplies, etc.)
Grocery shopping
Car maintenance

You must live in Las Vegas and have reliable transportation.

You will mainly work from your home but occasionally you’ll work with me in the office.

You must be energetic, reliable, friendly, punctual, highly organized, intelligent, enthusiastic, and flexible.

Hours per week will vary but figure 10-20 hours per week. Salary is hourly and based on experience. You’ll be an independent contractor.

To apply for this position, simply send me the following information:

Your name, phone number, email address
Why you want the job
What you feel you can bring to the job (i.e. why should I hire you?)

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.

What if what we think are major setbacks in our lives are actually blessings in disguise? What if these personal disasters are not disasters at all? What if a setback is the only way to untangle a knot and move you forward on your path? What if problems, personal disasters, and setbacks are mechanisms used to get you off of one path and onto another?

Years ago my boyfriend broke his leg. I took him to the hospital where they x-rayed his leg and found he’d broken his ankle. Big bummer right? For a very healthy and active person, this may have appeared to be a setback. But in the x-ray, the doctors discovered a strange growth on his shin bone. It was a tumor. They removed it and told him that breaking his ankle probably saved his entire leg. Was breaking his ankle a setback or a blessing?

When I first separated from my husband in 2009 I saw it as a huge setback. I was worried about how I was going to stabilize my income, take care of two children largely on my own, and cope with the loss of what I thought was going to be my companion for life. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize what a blessing our separation was. The sense of independence, freedom, and joy I have is monumental. I ramped up my business in ways I probably never would have thought of while in the confines of my marriage. And I found myself again, and grew into the person I am today, whom I love dearly. It was a difficult process, but definitely a blessing.

But what is orchestrating these setbacks? Is it just random luck? Or is it orchestrated?

I personally believe our spirit guides and higher selves have a lot to do with it. Your higher self set an intention for you before you incarnated. Knowing you’d forget this intention, your higher self assigned you some spirit guides to help nudge you along and keep you on track. When your guides see you’re going down a road that is not aligned with your intentions, they begin looking for ways to adjust your course, to nudge you off one path and onto another. These spiritual detours sometimes appear devastating because you’re not expecting them and often they are severely uncomfortable, but sometimes they are the only way to get you on another path.

I have learned over the years to trust my guides. I may not enjoy the setbacks while they’re happening, but I trust that when something major happens to me that it is serving a purpose and that it’s in my highest good.

The way to turn a setback into a blessing is to have a paradigm shift when something “bad” happens. Instead of seeing it as devastating, begin to look at where it’s going to lead you.

Did you get fired? Maybe it’s time to start that business you’ve been thinking about for years.

Did you get into a horrible car accident and have to spend a month in the hospital? Maybe that’s where you’re going to meet your future spouse.

Did you have a miscarriage? Maybe the time and conditions are not quite right for that baby to arrive, but with some adjustments, the timing will be much better.

Is there any way to know where the guides are trying to get you to go so you don’t have to have a setback to get on track? Yes! Being in touch with your intuition and your guides can keep you on your path so you don’t have to get slammed in the face by disaster. Meditate to tune in to your guides, and determine your dominant intuitive modality so you can strengthen it. If necessary, you can get a reading with me and I’ll tell you what path your guides are trying to move you towards and how to get there without a huge setback.

When a setback happens to you, instead of getting upset and banging your head against the wall, ask yourself, “What’s good about this? What is the universe trying to get me to see? Why is the road I’ve been on now blocked by rubble, and which way am I being drawn to go next?”

When I was 10 years old, during a period of heavy rains, the hill behind our house came down in a huge mudslide. It was frightening watching tons of mud encroaching on our house, threatening its foundation. I remember my mom screaming for us to get out of the house before it collapsed onto us or buried us. After everything stopped moving, only our garage was filled with mud, but the house was intact. I remember my mom looking around the backyard at the damage and musing to herself, “You know… I always wanted a mound in the backyard. Now I don’t have to pay a landscaper to build one. It’s even in the right spot. How lucky is that?” Luck indeed.

Setbacks are opportunities to head off in a new direction that will likely make you happier. Instead of standing agape at the disaster, start to pick through the rubble and see where you might uncover a blessing. Trust me, it’s there. You may not see it right away. In fact it may take years and a lot of hindsight. But it’s there.

© 2006-2011 by Erin Pavlina.