Erin Thoughts

Processing this disorder

2012-02-06T11:41:00.000-08:00

I've been a little slower in blogging lately. I could say it's because the move has taken it's toll, or even that it's been a process adjusting to the new year. But the truth really is it's because I've been avoiding writing a certain blog, or really revealing a chapter in my life.

Olivia has always been a firecracker. The first four months of life, she was always crying hysterically and we called it "Colic". Then as she continued to scream and fuss most of the day, we called it "teething". When it was clear that she wasn't continually teething, we would say that she was just being a "diva". But it was clear, her tempermant and behavior was a bit abnormal.

Last September, I took Olivia into a doctor's appointment that turned my world upside down. What began as a fight to get her to gain weight, opened a pandora's box that I never expected. We started seeing a therapist about her development. They did evaluations and intakes, and we saw more therapists and in November, we received the news that Olivia had sensory processing disorder. It would often cause her to be agitated most of the day and it is what caused a severe delay in motor development. Though this is often associated with children who have autism, the therapists assured me that she was cognitively developing just fine, in fact she was well ahead in her speech. What it means for her is that she has trouble processing in unfamiliar environments with unfamiliar faces. She is extremely sensitive to touch, and avoids it at all costs unless it's mommy or daddy. She is especially sensitive on the inside of her fists (making it difficult to eat with her hands) and the bottoms of her feet (making it impossible for her to stand on her feet, and even to crawl). This opened up so much of a world that was dark to us. We couldn't see why she wouldn't gain weight, but the new textures of food were challenging to her. We couldn't understand why she wouldn't roll over, or sit on her tummy, or even try to crawl, but when we discovered this disorder it was like a lightbulb went on.

After several months of working with therapists twice a week, we're still trying to understand the world our daughter lives in. She has progressed amazingly well; not only rolling over, but learning to crawl and sit up. She even practices standing up a few minutes a day. But it is a REAL struggle for her to do it. It's not muscle tone or development, it's just that it scares her and it makes her feel out of control, so she doesn't want to do it.

Along with this disorder comes some disconcerting and sometimes scary behavior. She used to scream and thrash around a lot and we never could figure out why. As she got older, she began doing things like biting objects really hard, scratching people (I had huge gashes on my face) and banging her head against the floor. Because her nerve endings are so agitated, it sends messages to her brain to be angry therefore causing her to act out. It was really hard to deal with at first, but we're getting to the point where we're teaching her to control these urges by using push therapy and joint stimulation. I thought it was a lot of kooky nonsense until I saw it dramatically change her disposition.

The hardest part for me as a mother has been learning that this is not a temporary "delay" in development; it's a lifelong disorder. Because we caught it so early, we are able to channel it and will hopefully be able to help her so much better than if we caught it later. But it also brings sadness and frustration at having to be an advocate of not one, but two babies. Because her disorder is rare, the therapists tell me it will be an uphill battle for her to get aids in school. I have to admit, I have felt defeated. I have questioned whether I have fight enough left in me after working with Elijah's school situation.

I'm also sad that we're back to having therapists and meetings and intakes all the time. That they consider it to be an impairment, that it's not like I can just magically "fix" her. I'm sad that all the other babies this age aren't just walking, they're running all over the place. And that Olivia really could if she wanted to, but her fear and anxiety parallyze her. It's confusing to me, and I still am trying to wrap my brain around it.

Yet, I am confident. I don't ask "why me?" this time. I know why me. God knew. I also look at this incredibly beautiful, intelligent little girl who laughs and giggles a whole lot more now. Who says so many words now, it literally is blowing my mind. And when I look at other kids or read about milestones that she should be at, I remind myself that she is Olivia and she has never been comfortable with being unoriginal. She will not be restrained to a list of expectations, she will do things in her own time. And I am reminded that she brings so much light, so much joy to my life that I simply could not live without her.

It's all a"boot" me

2012-01-25T16:53:00.000-08:00

I spent the better part of last fall searching for a fabulous pair of boots. My faux Target special uggs from five years ago just weren't cutting it (though they did keep the rain off). I searched high and low for the perfect boot, it was not an easy task. And I had almost given up in the illustrious boot search when I made a quick trip to Portland. Have I mentioned I'm in love with that city yet? Oh, I feel another blog post coming on. I digress. I got to stay and reconnect with a fabulous fellow blogger, and good friend, Imaya in her lovely home. She introduced to me, and generously gave me a giftcard to DSW where I found a delightful pair of boots that were perfect for me. Perfect in that, I could stomp through puddles, lug kids to Target in, and not get wet. Perfect in that I could do said things while still looking somewhat stylish in. While on this fabulous trip to Portland, I also bought a Pashmina scarf that I fell head over heels in love with. It seriously makes me smile just putting it on.

I know it sounds really strange, but I can be having the WORST day. I can change the grossest diapers, endure the most temper tantrums, and run the most errands (kids in tow). And as long as I'm wearing my boots and my scarf I will still be smiling. Seriously I was wearing mom pants and a stained shirt today and I threw on my boots and my scarf and picked up Elijah from school feeling like a diva. What it is it about these items that brighten my day so much? I can't put a total finger on it, but I think it has to do with the fact that they are totally and completely all about ME. They go on my feet and on my neck and they are not used as toys, or cleaning devices. They are purely to make me look, and feel, better.

As moms, I think we forget this little part about ourselves. For me, it's not making time for myself that's the problem, it's physically buying things for myself. I think about the new shoes Tim needs for work, or the socks the boys need or that cute hair thing for Olivia that I am just dying to get her. But what about me? I always forget me. It isn't until someone forceably gives me something that is ONLY meant for me that I remember, oh yeah... I kinda like this and it makes me feel good.

A New Resolution

2012-01-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!! What? It's January 19th? Well, just pretend with me. HAPPY NEW YEAR'S and welcome to the blog where I reveal my new year's resolutions. Now, I'm not one of those kind of people that gives myself unrealistic expectations about what my year will look like. Usually, I like to give myself goals that I can accomplish, things I can achieve, so I don't feel like a total failure come December 31st. But this year, I'm just not so sure it's as attainable and it's scaring and exciting me all at the same time.

I've hesitated revealing this secret in my life for a few months now, mostly because I don't want to sound pretentious and also because I knew if I kept it quiet there was still a possibility that if I quit I wouldn't look like a total idiot for doing so. But, alas, it's too late for going back now, I've intrigued you too much.

I have recently started writing a book. It's a book about my struggles with being a parent of a child with special needs and finding God in the midst of the hard stuff. I've already written several chapters and my New Year's Resolution this year is to finish writing my book. I won't go so far as to send it to a publisher, but I think making myself finish should be a sufficient enough challenge. Besides, i think it sounds kind of romantic to finish writing your first book by the time you're 30. Besides, who wants to read the book of a 20 something anyway right? Well if it's not, don't tell me because it's what I am saying to motivate myself.

So there it is, my deep dark secret is a secret no more. It's going to be a year of challenge, and development and what I hope to be the accomplishment of what has been a lifelong dream. Who knows, maybe I'll even let someone read it....someday.

Pinterest Challenge: Of livingroom inspirations

2012-01-17T14:14:00.000-08:00

So I just moved into this new home and the first thing I realized was that I didn't have nearly enough decore to cover all the walls of this house. So I did what any frugal crafter would do, I hit up Pinterest to see what I could come up with. I stumbled upon this idea and ran with it: It was 9 12X12 wood blocks, painted and using scrapbook paper.The blog tutorial it came with seemed fairly straight forward. It started out telling you to go to Lowe's and buy some shelving wood. Right away this intimidated me, but I put my best foot forward and braved the lumber department. I ended up deciding on a 1ft X 12ft shelving board. And I had them cut it into 9 12X12 squares. I had 9 pieces that looked like this:

Then came the tricky part, picking the scrapbooking paper. I wanted to center the colors around our favorite painting: Red Jazz. But I also wanted to update our livingroom by adding different color palletes, so choosing the patterns, and colors and then picking 9 pages that all went together was much more challenging than I thought it would be.

When I got home, I went to work. I had some leftover paint from when I painted Noah's nursery and it happened to be a nice shade of espresso. So I painted all the sides of each one of the blocks. Because it's January (why do I always choose January to paint?) it took 24 hours to really dry.

Next came the modge podge. I spread it evenly on the board with a paintbrush and secured the page to fit just right. It took some maneuvering and redos at first, but after a while I got into a rhythm.Next I bought those little saw teeth to hang picture frames on and had my hubby secure them to the back of each square. (I don't have that much hair on my arms).One of the most difficult parts of this project was securing all the boards evenly and placing them in a pattern I liked. It took me several times and lots of relevling and straightening for me to get it to where I liked it. But the end product turned out better than I could have imagined and it brought in a lot of rich and vibrant colors into my livingroom pallete. Price breakdown:

9 12X12 scrapbook pages: $9

1 1ft X 12ft shelving board: $18

2 containers of picture hanging teeth: $3

mod podge: on hand

espresso paint: on hand

Total Cost:

$30

The best part is that it covers a good portion of a once barren wall. One of my favorite pinterest challenges so far. Have a pinterest project to share? Email me, or comment on this blog, I'd LOVE to see it!

He is Faithful

2012-01-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a short video testimony of God's faithfullness to us:

Warkykid Chatter: About God's House

2012-01-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

This last Sunday, I got ready for church in the usual way. While I was getting ready, Elijah came up to me and I had one of the most fun conversations with him:

E: Mama, where are we going today?

Me: We're going to God's house Elijah.

E: (After much thought) But Mama, God's house is waaaay up high in de clouds...up in Kevin.

Me: Well yes, Elijah God does live in heaven, but I'm talking about going to God's house today.

E: But mama.... we don't have a balloon.

Me: No, we don't but we can get there without one.

E: How are we going to get there then Mama? By an airplane?

Me: No

E: Oooh I know... an elevator!

Me: No, we're going to get there by car.

E: Mama, cars can't fly!

Oh this kid!

Another Crazy Amazing Story

2011-12-28T16:15:00.000-08:00

Nearly 2 years ago I found out I was pregnant with baby #3 and I tried to imagine where I would put her. Our 900 square foot house was tight as it was and the third bedroom was arguably a closet. With no choice, I made that tiny little space the coziest I could, and I started praying for a miracle. I watched seasons come and go and no matter how much I looked and tried on my own to get a house, something always fell through.

On December the 26th, 2011 I prayed once again to the Lord. I gave him specifics of what I wanted in a house: I needed more square footage, a fenced backyard, a bigger kitchen, 2 bathrooms and an indoor washer and dryer. I also mentioned the fact that we didn't have money for a deposit really, and that our budget for this miraculous house was only $100 more than we were paying now.I said this knowing that there were absolutely no houses that big for that price. Then I said Amen and carried on with my day. 6 hours later... our landlord came knocking on our door. He told us that he had a 1300 square foot house with a spacious kitchen, fenced in backyard and an indoor washer and dryer. Then he said it was only $50 more than what we were paying now. My jaw dropped.
As soon as I walked in, I just knew it was God. I could feel it in the timing, and the circumstances. He somehow managed to find the perfect house for us and He worked out the deposit situation. And here I am, 5 days before the new year, feverishly packing to move! The real kicker is, it's about half a block from where we live, so the move is going to be so easy... and cheap.

All the time I prayed, and asked and begged for a new place. All the times that perfectly good houses fell through, how could I have known that God had something so much better, so much more affordable? I've said it before, I will continue to say it... Our God is Crazy Amazing!

Our new home.

A Christmas I won't forget

2011-12-27T23:42:00.001-08:00

They say as time continues, you begin to forget the little things your kids said and did. You hold onto a few glimmering gems, but the rest get lost or forgotten along the great span of childhood. I don't want to forget these moments, or what each one of you did and said this Christmas. It was loud, and full of fighting, and crying and mayhem.But it was also full of heartwarming moments, snuggles and giggles. And as long as I live, I never want to forget your tiny words, or hugs, or faith. With that being said, these are the highlights of Christmas 2011; A Christmas I will never forget.

Olivia, you were 13 months old and teething. You spent the week leading up to Christmas in a constant state of screaming. Your daddy stayed up with you and rocked you while you had a horrible fever. You snuggled with him like I've never seen a baby snuggle with him. On Christmas eve you said, "Hi Noah" and cuddled with him and you fell asleep in the car on the way home. Christmas morning you were extremely put out that we woke you up at 8am. You complained for at least half an hour until all the wrapping paper was just too tempting not to smile at and play with. And while we all were unwrapping our presents, and not paying attention to you, you crawled for the first time to grab your present. And I got it all on film!

Noah, you were 2 1/2 this holiday season and were so much more alert and active this year. At first, you continually asked me if it was going to be "Haoween" because you rather enjoyed your Halloween. When I told you no it was Christmas, you seemed pretty annoyed. But you so thoroughly enjoyed putting the Christmas tree up, taking such care in putting every delicate ornament in just the right spot. Everytime we stepped foot outside at night you would say, "Wook mama! Misses wights! I see misses wights mama!!" and you would talk for hours about "San Cwaz" and how he said "ho ho ho." Your brother taught you how to sing Jingle Bells this year and you took it in full force making it a round song. Your rendition sounded more like "Tinker Bell, Tinker Bell, Tink awe da wayyyyy! Oh.........HEY!" When we took you to the Christmas Eve service you loved to dance to all the music, and look at all the decorations. Then we sang Oh Holy Night "The stars are brightly shining" and you said "Where mama? I no see no staws."But your favorite part of the holiday season was singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. You loved throwing a birthday party for him, and when I tucked you in on Christmas Eve you prayed to Jesus and thanked him for having a "bewfday".

Elijah, this year you really started to understand the meaning of Christmas. You liked watching movies that had Santa Claus and Rudolph and you talked about them coming to your house. But this year you learned all about the real meaning of Christmas. You understood it so well, that you could tell the story yourself, and often would. Elijah you learned a million Christmas songs this year. Your little brain was like a sponge, it was amazing. You had such personality at your school Christmas performance, where they put you in the front row. At the Christmas Eve service you sang to every song, even the ones you didn't know. On Christmas morning you woke up at 7:30 and tiptoed into our room. You said "Wake up mama! It's Christmas morning! And santa claus brought us presents." I can't tell you what an incredible sound it is to be awoken in that way. To remember what it's like to feel that excitement. When your father and I took our time getting up you politely said "It's really early Mama. You go back to sleep and I'll play quietly in my room." Oh, what a sweet heart! That morning you immediately ran to the window because you were convinced that on Christmas morning it always snows. I was so sorry to dissapoint you and tell you that we lived in Northern california where it seldom snows. You loved your doctor costume this year and you looked so grown up with it on. That evening, when all the presents were unwrapped and put away, and all the food was eaten, you prayed with your daddy in your room. And you asked Jesus if he would make it snow for you. I almost cried thinking about the faith you had and how much you really understood. I prayed too, that God would give my Elijah boy some snow so that we could tell him that God answered his prayers.

This holiday season meant so much to me. We live in this tiny little house, it's chaotic and often messy and definitely loud. But it was the most amazing, memorable, cozy little home. Next year, you will be a year older and you may not say or do the things you did this year. I don't ever want to forget these precious Christmas memories or the warmth in my heart as I think on each one. My love to all of you my babies.

The Christmas Miracle

2011-12-23T21:14:00.001-08:00

This sounds like the title of a really bad Holiday Hallmark movie, but I simply had to write it. I had no idea that Santa was so technologically savvy, nor did I realize that he read letters from 29-year-old women. But less than 24 hours after I wrote to Santa for a Christmas miracle, something miraculous happened.... he made my wish come true.

Now to be totally honest, I wrote him out of the goodness of my heart, and a little Christmas humor. I had no intention of actually receiving a response. But a very old friend of mine who prefers to be called Santa, delivered into my paypal account just the right amount of money for 2 count them 2 tickets to see our beloved Coldplay in Portland. I know that by the time you're an adult you aren't supposed to believe in things like Santa, and that we generally mark these types of events in sentimental movies. But I have to say that today I witnessed the impossible and one of the biggest things I ever asked for came true. This could possibly be the most amazing Christmas EVER!

So, I challenge each of you to ask yourselves one very simple question:

Do You Believe In Santa Claus?

A letter to Santa

2011-12-22T15:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I recognize that I am a 29-year-old woman writing to you, but I think I should get a few points for having "faith like a child" or maybe it's just plain desperation. In any case, I am here to write to you and ask you for a very special, and highly unlikely Christmas present. You see, there's this band I like, maybe you've heard of them? Coldplay? Well, anyways, recently I found out that their North American tour is going to be in April and that they're not coming anywhere near our home (here in Redding California). But they are coming to Portland, which is an 8 hour trip from our house. When I looked at their website, I was stunned to find that tickets were going for $80 a pop! I know to you money is no object santa, but in our home, that is a whole lotta moolah! Back in the day when Tim and I were dating, tickets to a Coldplay concert were $30.... total. I miss those days Santa, when gas prices were cheap and you could go to the movies for under $10. Times have changed, and so have our finances and it looks like it would take a Christmas miracle to pull off getting to see them. So that's why I'm writing to you. Santa, I don't want a dog, or a toy car or even a baby sister, I just really really want to go see Coldplay in Portland. Can you do that for me?

I've tried to be a good girl Santa, and do the right thing. I admit, sometimes I lose my patience with my children, and I don't always do the laundry like I should. But I'm hoping you'll overlook those things and remember me for the little girl that I was, this little girl.

(Erin and Santa age 10)

Anyways, I know you're busy, seeing as it's only 3 more sleeps till Christmas. But if you could find it in your heart, I would appreciate it.
Yours Truly, Erin Kaye (Reibsome) Warkentin

Warkybanter: Potterisms

2011-12-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

Conversation between Tim and I the other night:

Me: Sometimes when I'm bored I think of people in Harry Potter terms. I mean, I think, now THAT girl is clearly a Ravenclaw.

Tim: So you're saying in your spare time you actually categorize people into Hogwarts Houses?

Me: Well..... yeah. I do. It's actually quite fun.

A Birthday I will never forget

2011-12-09T17:02:00.000-08:00

This is one of those days I'm going to store in the back of my mind; a treasured life moment.

For the last several years, I have said that I wanted to make a birthday cake for Jesus for them to understand that it is his birthday. Each year comes and goes and I always end up forgetting to do it. This year, I was determined to make it happen. I talked to my fellow mommies from our mom's group and, together, we planned to do a birthday party for Jesus. We baked cookies in preperation, and talked it up all week. Finally, we woke up this morning and were so excited about the big birthday party we were throwing for Jesus.

We decorated cookies, dressed in nativity garb, heard the nativity story, sang carols. I'm not sure there is any greater joy than listening to your children sing songs of praise to Jesus.To be able to watch them really understand what Christmas is about and to be so excited about it. The party was a blast and the real highlight was when all the children danced like angels in celebration of Jesus' birthday. And after every cookie was eaten, and all the kids were tucked away in bed for a nice long nap, I sat down to think about the day we had. I thought about how The Lord must have smiled so bright when these tiny little children sang his praise. Did he cry as hard as I did when I heard my two-year-old say "It's Cheeses bewfday. I wuv Cheeses."? I'd like to think that his heart melted as much as mine did when his little children came to celebrate his life.

With Gratitude.

2011-11-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

November is the month that we give thanks. Everytime this month hits, I especially have a lot to be thankful for. It was 3 years ago this night that my husband, my very small baby and me sat in a lonely hospital room. I think about how much pain that baby was in, how sad we were. That Thanksgiving I like to call the year that God taught me how to be thankful. There isn't a November that goes by that I don't thank the Lord that he has delivered us from the machines, the pain meds and the uncomfortable hospital cots. That he has given me not one, but three beautiful healthy children. That my family is whole and complete and that we are NOT sitting in a hospital room.

Today I give thanks and bare witness to the fact that the Lord delivered us from despair and pain and he turned our sorrow into joy. There was a time when I never thought I'd utter these words. I give thanks for my great God, and the amazing family he has seen fit to give me.

Nichole Nordeman "Gratitude"

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude

For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream

In abundance or in need

And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . .

Pinterest Challenge: Of Turkeys and Tutus

2011-11-14T14:38:00.000-08:00

This month I had to make something for my 4-year-old neice's birthday. What do you get a girl who loves to twirl? Oh a tutu. But not just any tutu, I came acrossed this a few months ago and set it aside for a rainy-day project.

The tutorial was easy and straight forward and I used scraps of fabric that I had lying around in my art closet. I wanted to make her something she could wear her adorable pink cowboy boots with and something that she could pull almost any shirt out of her drawer and wear with it. I ended up with this:
What tutu would be complete without a cute headband that matches? I couldn't resist and I used a new flower tutorial this time.
I also wanted to do something crafty with the boys that would teach them about Thanksgiving's true meaning. I found this cute idea and thought I'd try it. Ofcourse as soon as I saw the ingredients for it I instantly knew I didn't have everything I needed. So I improvised.
I let THEM color all the feathers and paint the plate themselves, so it doesn't look as perfect as the picture but they LOVED it and enjoyed making it.
So this is my pinterest challenge for the month. What pinterest projects have YOU done?

My baby turned one

2011-11-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

It happened. I blinked and then my last baby turned one. What a bittersweet event it was as we watched her dive into her cake. I am a little sad to put away all those tiny newborn clothes, to take out her rocker, and take out of her room all of the tiny baby things that have filled it. But I'm also so excited about the year to come. A year full of growing hair, tea parties, and adorable waddles.

My baby had a fabulous parisean celebration full of laughter and croissants. We enjoyed every minute of it, and were so thankful for the time we got to spend in appreciation of her little life. Sometimes, the pink still surprises me.

Beauty in the Chaos

2011-10-24T15:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Mylo Xyloto came out this week, and you knew I was going to HAVE to write a blog about it. Well, I'll skip the musical termonology and go straight into the application. So, as you guys know so well now, Coldplay is connected to the Warkentin family by so many threads. With each album, it tells a story about what we're going through, or what we're feeling. I have no idea how they do it. This album was no exception. It's obvious that things haven't been easy for this young family this year. There have been a lot of struggles, a lot of tears, a lot of growing (babies and otherwise). When I listened to the track "Us Against The World", I almost cried.

"And sing slow it down .Through chaos as it swirls, it’s just us against the world."

There's something so beautiful about the chaos that is my life. I forget to take the time sometimes amidst all the crying, the dirty diapers and the dishes to hear all the giggles, the cuddles and the wonder that is my life. Though I've tried to just get through this year, the one thing this song reminded me was that I am truly living in the middle of the best time of my life. We may be broke, and loud, and even a little crazy, but we've got each other and that is the greatest blessing we could ask for. And all I can do is just hope that these moments just slow down, so that I can keep them in my heart forever.

Thank you Coldplay for reminding me.

The things no one tells you: Oh the loneliness

2011-10-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

I took a vacation for two weeks and left my husband in charge. When I came back, I asked him how things went. He told me he could handle the laundry, the dishes, the endless whining. He could handle all the dirty diapers and the time outs. He then said, "But I still could never do your job." I asked him why, and he said, "The solitude is unbearable."This was an interesting statement. Out of all the housework, it was the loneliness that made my job so undesireable.

Recently Tim got a promotion; something he's been working towards for several years now. I have been conflicted about my happiness for this promotion. Because, while it's been something he's been working so hard towards, it also means longer hours and less time I can randomly just talk to him during the day if I get lonely.

This is when that dark cloud creeps in. When I'm about 3/4's of the way through my day and everybody's whining, or worse when they're all asleep and I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. Some days, I would give my right ARM to know that my mom lived down the street from me. Not so that I could utilize her babysitting skills (though that would be nice too) but mostly so I could walk down the street and chat with her; ask her how her day is, hear about her job. SOMETHING, anything really to take my mind off of the fact that I have to work a 12 hour day without any adult interaction.

I really do absolutely love my job. I really really do. It's just when you spend the majority of your day refereeing arguments, cleaning rooms you could swear you just cleaned 20 minutes ago and answering endless preschool questions over and over again you tend to long for adult interaction. This is the part I wish someone would have told me about.

A Pinterest Challenge: Cheap But Not Easy

2011-10-17T15:15:00.001-07:00

So I saw this amazing picture on Pinterest months and months ago. I pinned it, I "ooohed and aaaahed" and then I moved forward. It wasn't until I got ready to do Liv's first birthday party that I revisited it.
This picture originally came from this blog all about making craft genius out of dollar store finds. She made this beautiful chandelier out of a dollar store hanging planter and mardis gras beads. Using only hot glue, wire, spray paint and creativity. When I read it, it looked like a fairly simple project. So I began collecting the materials which, by the way, in September is not easy.

I followed the directions to the letter, but I had some difficulty. First off, she suggests spray painting the planter and the beads first. I did that, but it's actually a lot harder to keep them dry when they're not hanging, and to put them through all the holes and wires without the paint rubbing off. If I had to do it over, I would wait until it was completely constructed before I whipped out my spray paint. Secondly, I would not have hot glued the necklaces all at once, this proved to be a total nightmare weaving them through, up and over.

I did find that her suggestion of hanging the basket throughout the process was a valid one. It really helped me put it all together. Here are the stats:

1 wire planter- $1
6 packages of beads- $6
spray paint- $9 (totally could have used cheaper kind, and less cans, but I didn't)
wire-on hand
hot glue- on hand

Total hours, messing up, painting, re-painting and getting the project done: 5 hours

So 5 hours and $16, not too bad. I think the next time I do it (and yes, there will TOTALLY be a next time, because it turned out amazing) it will take way less time now that I know what I'm doing. Without further adieu, here it is!
Phase one of Liv's party decore complete! Now, what was YOUR Pinterest Challenge this month?

A downhome kind of blog

2011-10-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure there is anything greater in this world than watching your parents love on your children. It is a fantastic and wonderful gift that I cherish.

The last few weeks I've been MIA in the blog world because I've been visiting my parents down south. As you can imagine, I don't get to see them much, so I treasure the time I do. This time, I took Liv along with me. She got to eat southern barbeque, and drink her fair share of sweet tea. But it's the hours and hours spent cuddling, kissing and playing with her Guy and Nana that I believe she will take with her.

I got to watch my friend Bethany get married as well, and I was so excited, and honored, to be a part of her special day. I also spent the time visiting friends around Georgia. It's so funny to say that now. When I lived in Georgia, I really felt like I had no friends. Now that I'm here, it's strange to say it, but I actually have quite a few. Who knew?

I really am a California girl, I swear. But buried deep underneath the surface is a little southern belle who only shows her true colors when she's nestled in the North Georgia mountains. I feel safe here to let my hair down, and my accent creep back into everyday conversation. I try so very hard to keep it from coming out in California. Ofcourse sometimes I slip. Anyways, I digress. It's been such a fun thing to be able to show my daughter the south, and I'm not gonna lie, 2 weeks off of dishes and laundry duty has been nice as well. Oh Georgia, it's strange to say how much I've missed you.

Life is a Fight

2011-09-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

My cousin got a chestplate tattoo a few years ago that said ,"Life is a Fight". I really questioned why anyone would put that strange statement on their chest? Now, 5 years later, it's totally become my motto and I'm half debating getting a tattoo of it myself!

It's no secret I've been having trouble with Olivia's development. It's really been such a big struggle. Not only to get food into her system, but also with our doctor's office. 2 months ago, I went into the doctor, baby in hand and begged for her to take a look at the baby. They turned me a way sighting "problems with my insurance". After 4 grueling weeks of fighting with multiple insurance companies and getting things straightened out, my doctor finally agreed to see Liv. It was that day that she weighed her and proceeded to criticize me for not coming in sooner, and not getting help for her. She said words like "malnourished" and "hospital visit" and a whole boatload of other things that scared me half to death and absolutely crushed my self-confidence. I wanted to scream out how many times I had tried to feed her a bottle, or a sippy cup. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind about turning me away when I HAD come for help. But I sat there and took it, and vowed to do better.

What followed was an emotional breakdown of horrific proportions. I spent my weekend listening to Satan's whispers about my ability to parent my child. He said words like "CPS" and "worthless" and "Give up". I fought hard to shut the lies out, but it was pretty easy to let them creep in and meltdown. Meanwhile I fed Liv around the clock and used every tool neccessary to stuff as much formula down her throat as I could. I kept newborn hours with her, and went to the breastfeeding support center for tools to help me. 5 days later, I dragged my beaten down spirit to the pediatrician's office again and took off her diaper to weigh her. In 5 days she had gained 13 ounces! I was stunned, as was the doctor. All I can say is, it was truly the Lord who put fat on those bones.

The fight isn't over yet, we still have a LONG way to go. But I have to say that I am so enjoying this little victory. The hug the doctor gave me at the end didn't hurt either.

Motherhood is all guts and no glory; you check your ego at the door. And it subscribes to the theory that Life really is a fight, but it's well worth the fight.

A thought for Noah

2011-09-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

DEAR ERIN: WHEN YOU'VE READ ALL THE BOOKS ON THE SHELF AND HE STILL WANTS TO READ ANOTHER ONE- READ HIM 2 MORE!

First Day of School- 2011

2011-09-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

Elijah had his first day of Preschool a few weeks ago, and I am just getting around to blogging about it. It's been quite a ride as we've all adjusted our schedules, and our attitudes. The first few days were tough for Noah especially as his best bud was missing from his morning routine, but he got over that really quickly, particularily when he realized he had all of mommy's undivided attention. He has finally found happiness in sitting on my lap and reading for hours. I must admit, I love the time too.

Elijah is absolutely thriving in preschool. He loves his new Buzz Lightyear backpack and getting ready for school each morning. He's also adjusted to wearing underwear to school, and his teachers say he's doing really well with it. YAY! But I must admit, when I come to pick him up I do love the fact that he runs up to me in front of everyone and gives me a big hug and tells me how much he missed me. I'm soaking that up now, because I know it's fleeting.

Elijah comes home with all kinds of songs he's learning, and stories to tell. He's already learning phonics, which is a major plus. And by about day 2 of him coming home and singing a new song, Noah and I are singing along. I thought I would be scared to put my baby in school, and I dragged it out as long as I could. But I'm so thankful that we took the plunge and put him in- he was ready. And the best part? This preschool is a place where all his therapists come to HIM. So no more running around from therapy appointment to therapy appointment trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the other 2. We've settled in nicely to this routine, and I'm looking forward to going on field trips with him and getting all the crafts and projects he does.

The Pinterest Challenge: Of Wreaths and Scarves

2011-09-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned before that I was going to start a blog about all my Pinterest experiments: good and bad. So here is my first Pinterest Challenge blog.

Project #1: I started out with something simple: making a scarf out of old t-shirts. It seemed easy enough... or so I thought.

I followed the instructions to the letter. It seemed fairly simple and straight forward. Everything went well, until I finished it and realized it was nothing more than a whole bunch of strings around my neck. They got tangled, and it looked like a hot mess. Maybe cute co-eds can pull of this look, but if I walked into a room of my friends, I'm fairly certain they would ask me why I had a whole bunch of string tied around my neck. I ended up trying to braid it and make some sort of a necklace out of it- on the principle that I refused to waste a perfectly good t-shirt. I stuck some felt flowers on it, and it turned out decent. Not sure if it's anything that I would EVER wear in public, but hey if nothing else, it'll be a start to Liv's first dress-up box.

FAIL

Project #2: A fall wreath using felt flowers.
I have spent the last several months perfecting the felt flower look and I came to the conclusion that, for me, they just looked a little too cheap. So I decided to use fabric flowers instead (which I learned how to do using THIS tutorial.) I bought a grapevine wreath for $3.50 at Walmart. Used fabric samples, scraps, and ribbon from my craft box, and some pearls from the box- note: craftboxes come in handy. It was cheap and totally easy. I finished it in just a few hours and was so excited to hang it and commence fall (at least in my head). I highly reccomend this if you want a cheap and fairly painless seasonal craft project.

SUCCESS
So there you go, my first Pinterest Challenge. Now, I challenge YOU to hit up Pinterest and blogpost your progress! I'd love to learn something new and be inspired by my friends!

Here are a few links to friends who took the challenge:
Shellie

A Double take

2011-09-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

ME: age 2 NOAH: age 2

From the day this kid was born, it was appearant he had hit my gene pool. I stumbled upon this picture a little while ago and was absolutely amazed at how similar we look. It's so strange to see your own face staring back at you each morning. I love that we share this connection.

We also share the same sense of humor!

Oh The Agony

2011-09-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet baby girl Olivia recently turned 10 months old. It's an exciting time because her personality is developing so well, but it's also a scary time because that seems to be the only thing developing. The unfortunate thing about having a baby when all your friends have babies is that you tend to compare them to everyone else. Right now, all the babies Olivia's age have been sitting up for months, eating well, crawling and are even close to standing up. Most babies are getting close to the 20 pound mark and are getting super tall. Olivia, is doing none of these things.

At 10 months old, Liv won't sit up, refuses to crawl and weighs an astonishing 11 pounds 5 ounces. I know it's shocking, it's actually difficult to even write it. Because the truth is that most people will say she's just "petite" but it's when you tell people just how little she weighs that you can actually HEAR the breath being sucked out of them. It's phsyically painful to admit it because I know that a lot of people instantly jump to one conclusion: I'm not doing my job.

And I'm not sure I would think much differently than them. Afterall, they don't see the massive amounts of baby food she eats, or the 6-8 times she breastfeeds a day. They don't watch her constantly snack on foods her brothers eat or adamately refuse to take a bottle or sippy cup. They also don't see the amount of times a day that I spend trying to get her to sit up, or put her on her tummy to crawl. They don't hear her wail from sun up to sundown because I make her do things she is so insistant on not doing. They see 11 pounds 5 ounces, and a baby who is completely dependent on me.

Though I beat myself up daily about it, I have to recognize that sometimes these things are completely out of my control. But I also have to stop and look at the fact that when Noah was exactly 10 months old, I wrote an almost identical BLOG about him. And that when Elijah was 11 months, I wrote another incredibly familiar BLOG about him. Though I hate to lump her in a category, when you look at the facts, it's pretty appearant that ALL my children have gone through this 10 month hump, and everyone of them have gone on to thrive. If you looked at my boys right now, you wouldn't even think they ever had trouble when they were babies.

So, as I pray and give this worry and fear to the Lord knowing that He made Olivia the way she is, and was meant to be, I take comfort in the fact that I've walked this path twice before. And I hope one day very soon, this blog will be a part of a long list of blogs that I look back on and say, "Oh yeah, I forgot that was even a problem."