Today we flew to San Francisco, and will be driving down the Pacific Coast Highway over the next few days, ending in San Diego.  Our convertible was upgraded and our hotel sent champagne to our room in celebration of the anniversary.  Love is in the air, and it is good and kind.  So here’s my virtual gift to you today: wind in your hair, a light ocean breeze and love…everywhere.

Issue #1: Safety - OK, I’m a woman…alone…on a highway…and a guy in a creepy truck just stopped behind me.  As he gets out of the truck, I see he’s covered with tattoos.  Instant profiling and discrimination begins. Immediately afterward comes the self-loathing for thinking that just because he his body is covered with tattoos doesn’t mean he’s a serial killer. Anyone can commit a crime, but as women, we tend to cling to the visual concepts of what a bad guy looks like…and those thought patterns are dangerous.

Issue #2: Women’s independence.  I know how to change a tire.  And while I never had a blow-out to this porportion before, I have practiced changing a tire many times.  As he walked up to me, I started thinking…no, I’ll change my own damn tire. But then he had all this professional tire-changing gear, and I knew he could do this better and faster than me.

I was torn on multiple levels, so I decided to let my intuition make the call.  I asked myself, “Can you trust this person? Is there anything about this man that is making you uncomfortable?”  The simple answer was NO.  While the situation overall was stressful, the man himself wasn’t causing me any concern.  So together we changed the tire, and I was out of there in 20 minutes flat. (no pun intended) I gave him $20 for his trouble, and he was psyched.

As July 4th weekend is upon us, here’s a few safety trips if you find yourself in a similar situation:

1.  After pulling over to safety, get on your cell phone and immediately let someone know where you are, and the fact that someone is helping you. Even if you have to leave messages or make several calls, just make sure someone knows where you are and what’s going on.  (and if you’re a cave woman and don’t have a cell phone…go buy one to keep in the car just for emergencies.)  If necessary, call the police to inform them of your situation.

2.  Do not play the damsel in distress and act like a victim.  Instead, go right up to the person, look them in the eye, give a firm handshake and thank them for stopping.  Ask for their first and last name.  Memorize it. Even better, call your emergency contact again and say, “I just wanted to let you know that a nice man named Jimmy BoJangles has stopped and is assisting me with the tire.”  Yes, a fake name can be given…but your intuition will likely pick up on the person’s hesitation if he’s making one up on the fly.

3.  Help identify your intuitive feeling by asking yourself:  Is this person giving me the creeps?  Do I feel safe right now?  Is there something odd that I just can’t identify that is giving me an unsettled feeling?  If your intuition gives off feelings of danger or doubt, trust it. Refuse assistance and call police instead.

4.  While your helper isn’t looking, whip out your cell phone and took a photo of his license plate.  And while you’re at it, there’s a plethora of improvised weapons in a woman’s trunk: car jack, lug wrench, hub cap…get scrappy!  Just hold any of them in your hand, in case the situation takes a dark turn.

Wishing you safe and happy travels this holiday weekend!

Read the article here: http://www.foxbusiness.com

Had it not been for Pete and his insistence on me taking Girls Fight Back to the web, I am quite certain we could not have come so far, so quickly. By utilizing the internet to teach and inspire, you simultaneously reach women all over the world. Yesterday we received an email from a woman in India who wanted to attend a Girls Fight Back seminar in Mumbai. We’re not there yet, but we’re workin’ on it!

So hooray for the Internet!

-The taser is an electroshock weapon that uses Electro-Muscular Disruption (EMD) technology. This makes muscles contract involuntarily throughout the body, and the sensory and motor nerves go into overdrive.

-The Taser fires two little electrodes, kinda like baby darts. They are connected to the hand-held unit by conductive wire and propelled by compressed nitrogen charges (similar to paint guns). The air cartridge contains a pair of electrodes and propellant for a single shot and is replaced after each use. For consumer models, they are limited to shooting a distance of 15 feet. When the darts hit the target, they penetrate clothing and hook into the skin.

-Police officers use two different models, the M26 and X26. Taser International is also marketing a civilian model called the C2.

-According to the Associated Press, there have been 180 deaths from tasers up to 2006. However, a study by Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center studied nearly 1,000 people after getting tazed. They concluded that 99.7% of the subjects had either minor injuries, such as scrapes and bruises, or none at all. So go figure.

I have never been personally tased, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. But I’m curious, sometimes to the point of stupidity, so I’d probably volunteer to get zapped just for the sake of research. I think a person can only have so much of an opinion about this until they have felt the effects themselves. I would like to know if someone who has been tased can still continue an attack, or if they are just totally incapacitated.

For the sake of women’s safety, we have to give a few things consideration:

#1: Who is most likely to attack us? Statistics say our most common threat is a person we know. So if you’re going to be armed with a taser, you should be prepared to use it against anyone, stranger or not. This argument should also be made for any physical self-defense, like a palm strike. I mean, you have to be ready to use it on anyone and fully commit with the intention of escaping…including someone you might care about.

#2: Is is a replacement for other self-defense? I get a little nervous when anyone’s self-defense response is a can of pepper spray, a taser or any other product du jour. You’ve got to have a plan if the batteries die or if you miss. What then? I think your mind and body are your best weapons, and anything else you decide to use is a bonus.

#3: Are you going to carry your taser all the time? A mistake we often make is to arm ourselves only when there is a perceived threat. (i.e, walking through a dark parking lot, in a big city at night, etc.) Sometimes we deem certain situations “dangerous” and others as “safe.” Truly effective self-defense needs to be used all the time, as part of your daily routine. So consider if you’d take your taser to your pedicure appointment at 11am on a Saturday in suburbia.

#4: Will you get training? Sometimes women buy safety products, only to FEEL more safe. This is more dangerous than not carrying anything at all, because it creates a false sense of security. Anything we arm ourselves in, we should also know how to use under stress.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about tasers. Anyone get zapped recently? Any of my law enforcement and military buddies have a comment on this?

A daughter, a sister and a friend so dear
We love you; we miss you and wish you were here
To our Heavenly Father we look and pray
Give us comfort and peace
and strength for this day
Our memories are treasured
and time is measured
While Shannon lives life without end
Day after day
and by Your grace
awaiting her embrace
Some day heaven, some day soon
Together, forever more
No need for us to remember then
We’ll have what we waited for

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for
and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Girls Fight Back is currently developing a curriculum of teen safety and self-defense material, and we’re hoping for your feedback to create an awesome program. If you could spare a few minutes, would you mind filling out our anonymous 10 question survey? To get the survey link, just shoot us an e-mail via our contact form. We greatly appreciate it!

TJ turned his back completely on the skinheads, and began advising the Pentagon, FBI and the Dept. of Justice (among many others) on hate crime cases. Today he travels the nation speaking to audiences about his violent past and hopefully a more peaceful future. I picked up his book with the intention of just flipping through it, but ended up reading it for a half hour without realizing it. A great read! Buy it here.