Erotiterrorist

For Sale: Deep Space Probe

2012-05-25T08:16:00.001-05:00

Deep Space Probe is available for purchase at Kindle. This ebook collects the first ten stories of Vaquel Di, a Deep Space Probe Explorer who spends 10% of her time exploring space and the other 90% of her time getting laid. For you scholars out there, this ebook collects every Vaquel story to date.

When I produce another ten stories, I'll do a second volume. If I get enough sales, I will tackle the monstrosity that is putting all the Otto Von Madd stories into a collection.

The cover is an experiment in doing non-sexual covers for people who want to hide their smut better. Also, space is pretty damn sexy.

Fiction: Promises to Keep

2012-05-23T08:48:00.000-05:00

Angelica opened her eyes and got out of bed. She didn’t have a hangover which came as a surprise to her. Either she didn’t drink nearly as much as she thought she did last night, or she was getting way better at being a drunken college student.

She put on her bikini and went outside. It was another glorious morning on the beach. She started walking to the breakfast café that was a block from her rented beach house. She was on autopilot as her feet walked before her brain was fully awake.

This was the best spring break ever. So far she had made out with a bunch of boys, got a really bitching tan and even did a satanic ritual last night.

Angelica stopped walking. That’s right! Her roommate did do some weird ritual out of a book! Holy shit, Angelica’s Catholic mom would freak!

The young girl started laughing and kept walking. What was that ritual about? It was some book that Miranda brought. It was supposed to give them good luck. No, wait. It was supposed to be pleasure. That’s right! It was some ritual in Spanish that was supposed to give them all pleasure.

There was another detail though. Angelica paused outside the breakfast café as she tried to think of what it was. It seemed important.

Three cute guys walked in front of her. Their nice asses bulged against their swimsuits. Angelica openly stared at their butts.

Oh yeah! Angelica remembered now. The ritual was to something called the Promiser of Pleasure and Pain. He needed a promise in order to deliver the pleasure. Angelica suspected that Miranda was making that part up as some sort of segue into a lesbian attempt with Angelica. Since Angelica was drunk, she got up, pulled her shorts down and mooned Miranda.

“Tell him he can have my big fat ass!” Angelica said.

Angelica smiled at the memory. Miranda had blushed and finished the ritual. There was a lot of candles and speaking in Spanish. There may have been an attempt to seal the ritual with a kiss between the two girls. Angelica thought she did the kiss but she couldn’t remember.

She went into the breakfast café. The blast of air conditioning made her nipples hard. Her eyes adjusted to the indoor light and what she saw defied belief.

A man in stood before her. He was easily seven feet tall. He was also butt-naked with an enormous cock. The cock was pointed at her. Even odder was his face. It was smooth, like a mannequin head.

No one else seemed to notice the faceless man. Angelica looked around to see if this was some sort of spring break event. That is when she saw another woman walk through the faceless man.

“Oh shit,” Angelica said. Stone cold sobriety pushed through her poisoned brain.

“Angelica Shelby Henderson, you made a promise to me,” the Faceless Man said. Well, he didn’t speak since he didn’t have a mouth. It was just something she heard in her head.

“Fuck!” Angelica said as she ran out the door.

She plowed through a crowd of cute boys and ran out into the street. A jeep honked at her as it drove around her. Angelica didn’t care. She was wondering how fast she could run in her flip-flops.

The Faceless Man came out. He just walked through the glass door like it was nothing. His giant cock bobbed with every step.

“You promised your ass!” the Faceless Man yelled.

Angelica ran down the street. The Faceless Man ran faster. Her tit bounced out of her bikini but she kept running. She lost a flip-flop and it didn’t slow her down a bit. She pushed her way through a crowd of slow ass beach girls and ran around the side of a surf shop. She paused to see if he was still following.

The Faceless Man walked through the wall of the surf shop. He pointed at Angelica. “Your ass was promised to me!”

Pure panic kicked in. All she could look at was that monstrous cock. He was going to fuck her ass. She just knew it. Angelica ran towards the beach. She had some sort of half formed notion that if she got in the water, she would be safe.

She never made it to the water. The Faceless Man grabbed her by her bikini bottom and swung her around into the sand. She hit the ground hard and rough sand bit into her exposed tit.

Something heavy pressed down on her hair. It was the Faceless Man’s foot. He had her pinned to the beach and she was going nowhere unless she wanted to pull all of her hair out. She got on her knees and kept pulling anyway. He reached down and ripped the bikini bottom off her ass quicker than that New York guy did last Friday.

“A promise of ass for a promise of pleasure!” The Faceless Man said.

“I’ve never been fucked in the ass!” Angelica yelled. It wasn’t true but Martin didn’t count. The dude barely got the tip in before he climaxed.

He swung his big meaty hand down and smacked Angelica’s ass. WHAP!

“Jesus Christ!” Angelica yelled. The sting of his hand vibrated through her curvy ass. The force of the blow knocked her flat down on the beach. Her feet kicked in the sand as a second slap stung her ass.

“Check it out!” someone yelled.

Angelica’s head was turned towards the dunes and yep, there was a crowd already. She could see her fellow spring break vacationers looking at her oddly. All they saw was a girl with her face in the sand and her bare ass pointed at the sky. Shit, even Angelica had seen weirder this week.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

The Faceless Man’s hand slapped her ass. His hand was gigantic and was as hard as wood. He swung with a force that was completely inhuman. Her ass was used to groping, pinching and a little biting. Angelica’s ass had never suffered anything like this.

She tried to get up. The weight on her hair was like a ton. She grabbed his foot and tried to pull. It would have been easier to lift a pier. She tried to cover her ass with her hands. The Faceless Man grabbed both her arms and pinned them with a single giant hand.

The spanking came faster. Angelica’s ass burned under the quickening pace. He smacked the top of her ass. He smacked the bottom of her ass. He smacked the dead center of her ass and all around it. Not a single inch of her ass escaped his hand. She had promised it all.

A bigger crowd assembled on the beach to watch Angelica. They laughed at her. No one offered to help, hell, why would that? She was just another drunk kid naked and writhing on the beach.

Tears and sand stung Angelica’s eyes and she could no longer see them. Angelica’s ass was burning like a tiki torch. The Faceless Man was showing no sign of stopping. She had a vision of the strange monster spanking her ass flat. It could happen.

“I gave my ass for a promise of pleasure!” Angelica yelled. “Where is my fucking pleasure?”

The spanking stopped. “You got it last night,” he said. Then he slapped her ass again.

Last night? Angelica didn’t do anything except kiss Miranda and oh. . . Angelica remembered more about last night. She remembered Miranda’s hands on her breast. She shuddered as she remembered Miranda’s fingers between Angelica’s thighs. She moaned as she recalled Miranda’s tongue lapping at her clit.

Oh yeah. That was pretty nice. Damn, how drunk was Angelica?

The spanking stopped. Angelica lifted her head and there was no weight on her hair. She looked around and there was no trace of the Faceless Man. Well, except for her incredibly burning ass. It hurt just to get up on all fours. The thought of looking for her bikini bottom with her ass hurting like this was unthinkable.

Then she thought about last night. Yeah, it was a fair trade.

Wanted For Crimes of Betrayal

2012-05-21T07:16:00.001-05:00

Attention all citizens and slaves of Euphoria! Queen Erishella has declared the individual known as Hank Maggs to be a criminal of the foulest kind! He is six feet tall, with curly blonde hair and a penis of adequate length. He is to be arrested on sight as well as beaten thoroughly.

Be advised that Hank Maggs comes from a backwater primitive planet called "Earth". This savage world is a pit of chaos with free elections, multiple religions and a lack of universal health care. There is no telling what sort of surprising creative violence such a creature can commit. Hank Maggs came to this world through a freak wormhole in the space time continuum. Due to Hank Maggs' somewhat attractive face, Queen Erishella took pity on the lost creature and made him one of her bed slaves.

The Science Academy would like to interrupt this urgent announcement to remind all Euphorians that rips in the space time continuum is a direct result of downloading illegal pornography holograms from file sharing networks like Pirate Moon and FilePervert. Remember, illegal downloading destroys the universe!

Hank Maggs, who claims to have been something called an "IT technician" on his home world, decided to betray the Queen's trust and reprogrammed the security locks to escape her bed chambers. The worthless excuse for a cock also took a female bedslave with him on his escape. Guards report that both slaves had a dreamy look in their eyes and that they most likely became romantic soul mates in their shared captivity. Not only has Hank Maggs betrayed his Queen by removing his physical body from the Queen's pleasure, but he has also betrayed her in his heart. Such a foul creature can not be allowed to escape unpunished.

A reward of a thousand hours of oral pleasure has been offered for the capture of Hank Maggs and the female bedslave who's name that Queen Erishella can't remember. Be sure to take them alive as Queen Erishella has already designed seven cruel death traps to put them in. Also be advised that Hank Magg's cock is to be left unharmed.

Dirty Movies: Poolboy

2012-05-18T06:37:00.000-05:00

"Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury" has an awesome premise to go with the awesome title. The concept is that back in 1990, a studio head put his ten year old son, Saint James St. James, in charge of a movie about a Viet Nam vet who returns home to discover that Mexicans had taken all the pool cleaning jobs. The Motion Picture Academy deemed it so racist, so vile and so thought provoking that it was banned from being released, (except in Germany). After thousands signed an online petition, the Academy is allowing Saint James to screen the movie as long as he takes out any scenes of witchcraft and non-supervised boating activities. Included in this special screening is key interviews with Saint James and others who made this movie.

What I just described could not begin to prepare you for the insanity of this movie. On the one level, we have dead on satire of the action films of the 80's. There is the overt racism, the random gratuitous nudity and the not-gay-at-all homoerotica. On the other level, the interviews and comments from Saint James form a second story of crazy as you hear about the time that the star set the boom guy on fire and why exactly was there a clown dream sequence? The answer involves handjobs. Not a moment goes by where something insane is not happening on screen.

You may have noticed that Kevin Sorbo and Danny Trejo are in this film. Your eyes do not deceive you. Sorbo plays action star, Jan Van Hammer with all the cheese and patriotic fury of the 80's. I have to revise my opinion of Sorbo's acting ability because it takes real balls to play such an offensive character. The racism that babbles out of Hammer's mouth will offend and horrify. The same goes for Danny Trejo who plays a pool cleaning kingpin who loudly proclaims, "My ancestors did not sneak into this country so that the whites can clean their own pools."

Some people have compared this movie to Blaxpoitation parody movie, Black Dynamite. I think that is an unfair comparison. See, Blaxpoitation films were awesome and Black Dynamite was a tribute to the awesome. Poolboy takes aim at the rather loathsome 80's action movie genre and gives it the butt-fucking it deserves. You might think Poolboy is over the top but my guess is that you haven't seen one of the low budget 80's action movies in awhile. Those movies were more racist than your average Tea Party Klan meeting. Poolboy is not a tribute movie, it is an indictment movie. The fact that it was "created" by a ten year old director tells you everything the real movie creators think about the genre.

A better comparison might be Machete. In that movie, a Mexican day laborer is hired to assassinate a racist senator. Shit gets complicated and over the top but at the heart of the movie is a tale of rich white oppression on Mexican poor. Well, that and knives and hot chicks. Still, it tells a story about racism using action movie tropes. Poolboy does the same thing except they are telling it from the point of view of the oppressors.

I watch a lot of shitty movies. I have seen quite a few movies that pretend to be shitty movies for laughs but end up being even shittier because they are boring. Poolboy is that rare awesome movie that pretends to be a shitty movie but is actually ten times more entertaining and ten times more thoughtful than the shitty movies it mocks. I was never bored because the crazy was non-stop ad always funny. I want to see a hundred more movies from Saint James St. James.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.

Fiction: The Incredible Libido

2012-05-16T08:13:00.002-05:00

“Thank you for seeing on such short notice, Dr. Von Madd,” Dr. Vammer said.

“It is my pleasure,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Please come into my office and tell me what is on your mind.”

Dr. Pamela Vammer sat down and took a deep breath. Dr. Von Madd took the moment of silence to observe the respected biochemist. She had changed quite a bit since the last time he saw her. Her normally short black hair was now longer and fuller. He didn’t recall her breasts being as large as they were and as it was, they looked like they were stretching apart the material of her blouse. The long skirt she wore couldn’t hide the shapely legs underneath.

“As you know, I have been working on a female equivalent to Viagra,” Dr. Vammers said. “I have been making several breakthroughs in combating unconscious female vaginal tightness.”

“Yes, I read your paper last year,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Your work is quite revolutionary and if I may say, deserving of a Nobel prize if they accepted the sexual sciences.”

“Please, Doctor,” Dr. Vammers interrupted. “Your compliments are making it harder for me to keep control. You know I have always found your work in mass sexual psychology to be quite the turn on.”

One of the buttons burst from her blouse and pinged off of Dr. Von Madd’s purple goggles. He studied her breasts and marveled at how they had increased a cup size.

“Dr. Vammers, perhaps you should skip to your problem,” Dr. Von Madd said.

“Yes,” Dr. Vammers said. Her voice was huskier. Otto found his cock hardening in response.

“I was working on a solution that I thought would be a topical lubricant,” Dr. Vammers said. She looked at Otto with eyes half closed in arousal. “I was giving it a bombardment of delta radiation when a lightning storm sent a surge through the building.”

“Oh my, were you hurt?” Dr. Von Madd said.

“Thank you for your concern,” Dr. Vammers said. Another button flew off her blouse. A blue tint spread from her checks like a blush down her chest.

“Like I was saying,” Dr. Vammers said as she stood up. Her skirt ripped from her rapidly widening hips. She leaned across the desk and her enormous breasts tore through the remains of her blouse.

“I was bathed in the resulting explosion of experimental lubricant and delta radiation. Now whenever I get aroused, my body goes through these changes until I achieve satisfaction. When I am changed, my mind is different. I am a monstrous blue slut. I am a force of fucking and destruction. I am so fucking horny right now and you are sitting there with your genius mind and that sexy goatee and those mysterious goggles and I want ride your SCIENCE FACE! NOW GET IN MY PUSSY SEXY MAN!”

Dr. Vammers roared as the change completed itself. She grew to a height of seven feet. Her clothes were shredded as giant breasts and hips pushed their way out. The blue color had spread all over her body and her pubic hair turned a lustrous purple. The hair on her head grew down her back and had a rich thick shine to it.

Dr. Von Madd looked at the nude blue giant before him. “Incredible.”

The blue slut got off the desk and threw it to the side with one hand. With the other hand she grabbed Otto by his lab coat. Otto slipped out of his lab coat with a practiced move learned by all Von Madds at an early age. You never knew when you needed to escape a lab coat.

“Tanya, activate emergency ice beams in my office on my mark!”

“Yes, Doctor,” his security chief answered from his ear piece.

“I AM GOING TO RIDE YOUR SMART FACE!” Dr. Vammers screamed.

Dr. Von Madd calculated that the strength in Dr. Vammer’s thighs would crush his skull precisely 3 seconds after orgasm. He adjusted that time to one and a half seconds if he did that trick with his tongue.

He also ducked out of his office and screamed “Mark!”

Automatic frost lasers came to life and fired at Dr. Vammers. Bio-sensitive targeting arrays directed the frost beams to start on Dr. Vammer’s pussy before spreading to the rest of her body. In seconds she was covered in ice.

“What’s going on Doctor?” Tanya asked on the radio. “Did we have another outbreak of spontaneous nymphomania?”

“Not this time, Tanya,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Dr. Vammers is in my officer with an increased body mass and the libido to match.”

The ice around Dr. Vammers started to crack. Her blue breasts shook with rage under the ice. Otto could feel the piercing lust of her glowing red eyes.

“Should I mobilize the Rapid Monster Response Team?” Tanya asked.

“No,” Dr. Von Madd said. He turned to run as the ice shattered in his office.

“I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR DICK OFF INSIDE ME!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

Dr. Von Madd ran down the corridor. Tanya was pouting over his earpiece.

“You never let me use the Rapid Monster Response Team!” Tanya said. It was always a turn on for Dr. Von Madd when the normally tough blonde was petulant. “You wouldn’t let me use them on that orgy blob that came to life last week. You wouldn’t let me use them when the sex robot from the future attacked yesterday and you wouldn’t let me use them when the flying vibrators came to life this morning!”

Dr. Von Madd slapped a control and watched the steel door drop behind him. A second later, a hole appeared in the door as Dr. Vammers’ fist punched through it.

“SEXY FACE NEEDS TO STOP RUNNING!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

Dr. Von Madd kept running. He also answered Tanya’s complaints.

“Tanya, the orgy blob was made of a trapped scientists and relaxation specialists. I had to dissolve the blob, not pump it full of bullets. The killer sex robot from the future was a gift from an unknown admirer in the future and the flying vibrators just needed someone to accept their status as sentient beings. None of those things require violence and Dr. Vammers certainly does not as well.”

“I disagree,” Tanya said. Her pouty tone was doing distracting things to Dr. Von Madd’s growing erection.

“Please inform Protective Engineering that I will be there shortly and to get the Gauntlet ready,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Also apply nipple clamps to both nipples and leave them there until I say otherwise for being a whiny security chief.”

“Ohhh,” Tanya moaned. It was hard to tell if the moan was of shame of the assessment, dread of the nipple clamps or just plain arousal. It was most likely all three.

“I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU DRY!” Dr. Vammers yelled behind him. The wide hips and long legs were gaining on him. Fortunately the large breasts were not aerodynamic and he was grateful for any small advantage he could get.

Dr. Von Madd slapped an emergency button as he ran by it. Steel cables sprang from the walls in a complex net of tension and metal. It was designed to hold back a sex crazed mob.

Dr. Vammers tore through it in six seconds.

“STOP RUNNING DICKMEAT!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

On Dr. Von Madd’s earpiece, Tanya moaned as the nipple clamps bit into her sensitive nipples.

Dr. Von Madd burst through the doors of Protective Engineering. A very distressed Dr. Zuna handed him the Gauntlet.

“What’s going on Doctor?” Dr. Zuna asked.

“You should leave through the emergency slide,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Unless you fancy being raped to death by a seven foot tall blue woman."

Dr. Zuna scratched his beard and considered it. “Ah, I’ll go through the emergency slide.”

“Good man,” Dr. Von Madd said. He examined the glove. The Gauntlet was as thin as a latex glove but it was constructed of rare metals and a powerful forcefield. It was designed to protect delicate fingers during anal play. Sadly, it cost a million dollars per unit at the moment.

“Sure you don’t want a team of some sort?” Tanya asked. Her voice was strained and her breathing was heavy. The clamps had been preset by Dr. Von Madd to an appropriate punishing level.

“All I need to change the world is a finger and a place to insert it,” Dr. Von Madd said.

The door to the laboratory was ripped from its frame. Dr. Vammers ducked through the door and growled at Dr. Von Madd. She grabbed a massive tit in one hand and squeezed herself.

“TIME TO FUCK LITTLE SCIENCE MAN!”

Dr. Von Madd made an adjustment to the forcefeild generator on the Gauntlet. “I agree.”

He thrust his gloved hand towards Dr. Vanner’s thick pubic hair. Her cunt was soaking wet and took Dr. Von Madd’s fist easily. The suction of her cunt pulled his fist in to his wrist.

“FUCK!” Dr. Vanners moaned.

“Fuck,” Tanya said in agreement over his earpiece.

“Now we will,” Dr. Von Madd said. The Gauntlet began to vibrate. The force fields were slightly out of synchronization and were vibrating against one another. The conflict of fields was shaking Dr. Vammers’ entire body.

“YES YES YES!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

Dr. Von Madd twisted his fist inside Dr, Vammers’ body.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

Dr. Von Madd wiggled his fist in a manner he learned from a Russian exchange intern.

“OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!”

Dr. Von Madd lifted his head and bit down on one of Dr. Vammers’ hard blue nipples.

“CHRIST!” Dr. Vammers yelled.

There was an explosion of light as mass was rapidly converted to energy. Dr. Von Madd pulled his fist out just before Dr. Vammers’ body began to shrink. He watched as Dr. Vammer shrank down to the five foot three woman that he had long admired. Her short shortened, her breasts shrunk and her hips collapsed. Oddly, her pubic hair was still nice and thick.

Dr. Vammers collapsed to the floor and started snoring.

“Tanya, arrange for a security team to take Dr. Vammers to the Cold Shower Room,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I want her under surveillance and a full time medical staff assigned to her care.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Tanya replied. “And umm, Doctor? Can I take the nipple clamps off? I am really sorry that I was whiney earlier.”

“No you may not,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I will take them off myself. Dr. Vammers may have climaxed but I have not. Make sure you are naked except for your nipple clamps by the time I get to your office.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

BDSM Beach for Sale

2012-05-14T08:55:00.001-05:00

BDSM Beach, my adorable story about first time submissive college students going to Cancun to be submissives on Spring Break is available for purchase at Kindle. You may have read it on the blog back in 2007 but now you have a convenient way to read it on your Kindle.

Even better, you can go to amazon and leave your review of this heart warming tale of spanking, masturbation, exhibitionism and lots of girls talk late at night.

Professor Rios Needs You

2012-05-11T08:18:00.002-05:00

Ladies, gentlemen and podcast viewers, welcome to my presentation. I am Professor Rios and I am about to embark on a fantastic journey. Even more amazing, I am inviting you to come along!

What if I told you that man was not the only civilization on Earth? What if I told you that there was another civilization coexisting alongside us? What if I told you that this civilization not only existed, but thrived! Now imagine that this secret thriving undiscovered civilization was made up of beautiful cat-women?

It's all true! In 1958, Sir Hillary brought back stone slabs from his expedition to Antarctica. Scientists who studied the slabs thought that the scrawls were just random erosion left by ice and penguins. I however have studied the slabs and have made a startling discovery! Using certain French occultist books as my guide, I have translated the slabs and can now share that knowledge with you!

The slabs speak of a wise race of ferocious women that are half cat, half sex crazed nymphomaniac. They reside inside a mountain that is warmed by fortunate volcanic streams. The terrifying women are covered in soft fur and equipped with claws that could slice through a seal. These strange women feed on giant antarctic mice that live in their mountain. They also apparently have the sexual appetite of spring break students on their fifth margarita.

There were some translation difficulties with the slabs. For example, I am not entirely sure how a race of cat-women breed and I am only 95% sure that the cat-women do not in fact have penises. I am also unsure as to what the slabs are talking about when they refer to the "Great Baiting". Still, what we have learned is an amazing discovery!

Ladies, gentlemen and podcast viewers, I intend to find these bizarre women. I shall launch an expedition this summer to discover their mountain lair. I shall engage in friendly diplomatic overtures and establish communication between our species! I shall learn as much as I can about their culture, their beliefs and their history. I shall also mate with as many of them as I can.

Funding has already been provided by that great scientists and philanthropist, Dr. Otto Von Madd. All I need now is some brave souls to accompany me. That's right, I need you!

Specifically, I need some experienced Antarctic explorers to help with the trip. I shall also need biologists, historians, and an anthropologist. I also plan to take some dominatrixes along to help with communications as well as a sex blogger or two to help chronicle our exploits. I also find that in expeditions of this nature it pays to bring along a plucky college student or two that we can trade to the natives.

The expedition begins July 1st so send in your applications now!

Fiction: Cultural Investigations

2012-05-09T08:14:00.001-05:00

Explorer’s Log: I have arrived at the star system designated Queen’s Firm Breasts by Royal Astronomers. Initial scans have revealed an orbiting station around the largest gas planet. I have detected no other signs of technology so I am assuming that they are an outpost. I will initiate contact and begin relationships with this new species. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: I pray to the Gods of Night that this species is humanoid and possessing something approximate to a cock. It would be nice to fuck something biological for a change.

Vaquel Di waited impatiently for the airlock to open. She was eager to meet a new sentient race and even more eager to have people admire the skintight pink spacesuit she was wearing. The suit adhered to every curve of her generous breasts, as well as every inch of her plump ass. She didn’t wear her helmet this time so her short pink hair bounced freely around her cute brown face. Vaquel was ready to meet the fuck out of some new people.

The airlock finally opened. Behind the door were three humanoids that towered above her. Each one was twice the height of Vaquel. If Vaquel’s dark skin was a shade of brown, the only way to describe their skin was to say it was as black as a starless night. They possessed slender bodies with arms and legs as thin as Vaquel’s wrists. The only thing large about them was their heads, which were a curious square shape with three eyes and a delicate small mouth. The red spacesuits they wore were baggy and didn’t reveal any secrets about their anatomy.

Vaquel stepped into their station. The room was some sort of cargo hold and Vaquel wondered what was in all of the crates. She also noticed that the aliens didn’t appear to carry anything. Could they be so trusting as to not bring any weapons? Vaquel was carrying five weapons in her utility belt alone.

“Welcome” the tallest alien said. He spoke in an archaic form of Calibri. “We welcome you to our small mining station and wish you long life and happy breaths.”

“Thank you,” Vaquel responded. She was fluent in thirty different galactic languages. “I accept your welcome on behalf of Queen Erishella of Euphoria. May your pleasure never end.”

“I am unfamiliar with Euphoria,” the lead alien said. “Are they a friendly people?”

“Very friendly,” Vaquel lied. Deep Space Explorers were taught to omit discussing the likelihood of an Euphorian invasion fleet when meeting new species.

“That is good for we Murs are a peaceful race of explorers and scientists,” the alien said.

Vaquel smiled. Peaceful science races were always highly sought by the Queen for conquest. They put up just enough of a fight to keep it interesting.

“My name is Vaquel Di,” she said.

“I am Go-et, and this is my spawn brother, Ce-et and this is my other spawn brother, De-et.”

“It is nice to meet all of you,” Vaquel said. “It is great to meet a new species. I will be happy to answer any of your questions.”

The one called Ce-et licked his lips. Vaquel noticed that he had three tongues. A tremor of delight ran through her.

“Are those large things on your chest, breasts?” Ce-et asked.

“Ce-et!” Go-et said, outraged.

“I was thinking the same thing!” De-et said. “But they are so big and she only has two of them!”

Vaquel laughed. “Yes, these are my breasts. Does your race not have them this big?”

“No,” Ce-et and De-et sighed together.

“Excuse my spawn-brothers,” Go-et said. “They are younger and this is their first meeting with another race. They do not understand cultural protocols.”

“It is no problem,” Vaquel said. “In fact, in the interest of cultural exchange, I can show you my breasts if you like?”

“Sweet Spawn-River, yes!” Ce-et said.

“Well, I am not sure,” Go-et said.

“It is no problem,” Vaquel said. She pressed a button on the color of her suit. A seam appeared from her neck down to her waist. Vaquel gently pulled the seam to the side until one of her heavy breasts was revealed. All three Murs sighed in wonder.

“It is so . . .big,” Ce-et said.

“As big as my head,” De-et said.

“Act like adults, spawn-brothers!” Ge-et said. Vaquel noticed that all three of Ge-et’s eyes hadn’t left her breast.

“You can touch me if you like,” Vaquel said. “For our mutual cultural knowledge of course.”

The younger spawn-brothers looked to Ge-et. He tangled his slender fingers together in thought.

“In the interest of mutual cultural knowledge, I accept,” Ge-et said.

Ge-et squatted down on legs that had five knees. He lowered himself but he was still a head taller than Vaquel. He reached for her breast and gave her a tender squeeze. His nine fingers each had seven joints and they squeezed like a vice on her breast.

“Ohh!” Vaquel said. He squeezed much tighter than she was expecting. She liked it.

“Ohh!” Go-et said. “They are much softer than Mur fem’s breasts.”

“Share spawn-brother!” Ce-et said.

“Here,” Vaquel said. She pulled her spacesuit further apart and exposed her other breast. “Have one for yourself.”

Ce-et happily squatted beside her. He ran his nine fingers over her breast and traced the curve of her breast. Nimble fingers danced over her sensitive nipple.

“What is it like?” De-et asked. His three tongues licked his lips constantly.

“Like a pillow pumped with argon gas,” Ce-et said in a dreamy tone of voice. His fingers squeezed and felt the weight of her breast. “I don’t know how spawn ever leave their children if they had this to suckle from.”

“The nipple appears to be getting harder,” Ge-et said. His skilled fingers pinched and tweaked her nipple. “Are you in distress?”

“No,” Vaquel moaned. “It is a sign of arousal.”

“How curious,” De-et said. “Let me feel them!”

Ge-et pulled his hand away and De-et took his place. His fingers pulled on her breast and groped her with an eager curiosity.

“I don’t mind that she only has two breasts!” De-et said. “The nipple is harder than a furyk!”

“If you want to see it really hard,” Vaquel said, “try licking my nipple with those three tongues of yours.”

Both Ce-et and De-et took her up on her offer. They both sealed their mouths to her nipples. She felt the rapid flicks of their multiple tongues and grabbed the back of their heads.

“By the Queen!” Vaquel called out.

“Are my spawn-brothers hurting you?” Ge-et said. “I can get them to stop!”

“Fuck, no!” Vaquel said. “I just wanted ready for how fucking nice it felt.”

Ge-et tangled his fingers together as he watched Vaquel’s breasts get sucked. His three eyes narrowed and his tongues licked his lips. Vaquel looked at the rest of his body but she saw nothing growing or otherwise betraying sexual arousal.

After too short of a time, Ge-et spoke up. “That is enough, spawn-brothers,” Ge-et said. “We don’t want to infringe on our guest’s openness.”

Ce-et and De-et reluctantly raised their heads from her breasts. De-et flicked her nipple with his finger and smiled. “They are quite hard now.”

“Yes they are,” Vaquel said. “But I am also curious about your bodies. As males, what do you use as a genetic material depositor?”

“Is she talking about our furyk?” Ce-et asked.

“Yes, I think she is,” Ge-et said. “I shall show you, Vaquel Di, in the interest of cultural exchange of course.”

“Of course,” Vaquel said.

Ge-et unfastened some buttons around his waist. He dropped his pants, a secondary set of pants and then a third set of pants. When he was finally naked below the waist, he stood back up to his full towering height.

Vaquel examined the alien appendage before her. It certainly looked like a cock. It was the right shape and all. It was a shame that it was only four inches long. At least the three balls gave her hope that he had a sex drive to compensate for the small equipment.

“Is this similar to your anatomy?” Ge-et asked.

“Close enough,” Vaquel said.

“In the interests of further knowledge between our races,” Ce-et began. “I think you should uh, do something similar.”

“Yes, show us your phuva!” De-et asked.

“Spawn-brothers!” Ge-et said.

“No, he’s right,” Vaquel said. “You’ll have to let go of my breasts first.”

Both of the aliens reluctantly let go of her breasts. Vaquel smiled as nine eyes watched her. After months of being alone, she was basking in the attention. A simple button press could remove her spacesuit but she opted for the longer method. She activated a hidden seam and slowly pulled her spacesuit from her hips. Inch by inch, she pulled the pink material back until her waist was exposed. Ever so slowly, she pulled it down past her knees. She stood back up and ran her fingers through the thick bush of pink pubic hair.

Ge-et’s knees folded again as he squatted down beside his spawn-brothers. All three of them stared at her sex.

“Thank the Spawn-River that there is hair,” Ce-et said. “I was almost afraid that it would be bare.”

“I know!” De-et agreed. “It looks tiny but it is still a phuva.”

“May I touch it?” Ge-et asked.

The spawn-brothers looked at Ge-et in surprise.

“Of course,” Vaquel said. “Our races need to learn about each other.”

Ge-et reached out with his nine fingers. They gently pushed through her pubic hair and felt along the edges of her sex.

“I can feel the heat radiating from it,” Ge-et said. His spawn-brothers licked their lips in anticipation.

“Go on, slip your fingers inside,” Vaquel said.

Ge-et pushed his way in. “Cocu! It is so tight! Like pushing into a fem’s rectal orifice!”

Ce-et moaned with approval. De-et frowned. “You don’t push solid waste through there, do you?”

“Nope,” Vaquel said. “Is it comparable to what your females have?”

Ge-et nodded his head slowly. “Yours is tighter and warmer, but fundamentally the same.” His fingers pushed a little deeper.

“I want to feel!” Ce-et said.

“Me too!” De-et said.

Ge-et pulled his fingers out. “I am not sure, spawn-brothers. We are just gas miners at a minor outpost. Perhaps we should consult the Elders and await better experts to continue cultural investigations.”

“Or,” Vaquel said, “the three of you could take turns sticking your, what did you call it? Furyk?”

“Our furyk,” Ce-et said wistfully.

“Yes, you could stick your furyk inside me and we can discover things about our races for ourselves.

The spawn-brothers looked to Ge-et. The elder spawn-brother stood up to his full height. He looked down at Vaquel while his three tongues cleaned his finger of her juices.

“As members of the Mur race, it would be our duty to carry out this investigation.”

“Sweet Spawn-River!” Ce-et and De-et cried out in unison.

“Ce-et, ready the fem!” Ge-et said.

Ce-et stepped behind Vaquel and bent over to pick her up. Her reached around and grabbed her breasts to pick her up. The multiple joints in his arms folded around her body to form a comfortable cradle. Vaquel groaned as his fingers molded themselves back around her tits. Ge-et was quick to grab her hips and his arms folded around her legs to hold her.

Ge-et stepped between Vaquel’s thighs and pressed his furyk against her sex. The slender appendage slipped right in between her lips.

Ge-et’s three eyes rolled into the back of his head. Vaquel smirked. She could barely feel him yet he was in bliss. She wondered how the Mur women ever found sexual satisfaction.

That was when she felt his furyk vibrate.

“Queen’s tit!” Vaquel cried out. The vibrations were much stronger than she thought possible from such a slender appendage.

Ge-et grunted and began to fuck her. His hips slammed into her with a speed more appropriate to small herbivores. The multiple joints in his legs and back worked together like a spring to snap his furyk back and forth inside her.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Vaquel called out.

Ce-et gripped her tits tighter. “I can’t wait for my turn. My furyk is about to explode!”

“Turn me over,” Vaquel said. “Let my me taste your furyk.”

Ge-et and Ce-et rotated Vaquel in a split second. One moment she was looking up at the ceiling and the next she was bent over and getting fucked from behind. Ce-et’s pants were around his ankles and his furyk was bouncing against her chin. Ce-et’s hands held her up by her breasts.

Vaquel took Ce-et’s manhood into her mouth. He tasted sweeter than she was expecting. His furyk vibrated to life in her mouth. Itr wasn’t easy to lick something that was vibrating but Vaquel sucked him anyway. He was the first real erection that she had had in her mouth for weeks and she was going to do her damn best.

“What is it like?” De-et asked.

“Pretty good!” Ce-et said. “I don’t mind that she only has one tongue!”

Ge-et grunted. Vaquel felt a flush of hot alien seed fill her cunt. To her surprise, he was still hard and he kept going.

“My turn!” De-et said. Ge-et pulled out and handed Vaquel’s legs to his spawn-brother. A moment later, De-et was fucking her with the same intensity.

Vaquel wondered how long the spawn-brothers had been at this gas mining station. She wondered if they had gone as long without sex as she had. Thirty seconds of getting her cunt pounded by De-et, and Vaquel stopped thinking about pretty much anything.

Ce-et came in her mouth. If she thought his furyk was sweet then his ejaculate tasted like liquid candy. Vaquel swallowed him with ease.

There was another exchange and this time Ce-et passed Vaquel’s torso to Ge-et. She barely had enough time to finish swallowing Ce-et’s seed when Ge-et slipped his furyk between her lips.

Vaquel was amused that the Mur was ready to keep going already. What they lacked in girth and length, they sure as fuck made up for in endurance. Ge-et’s fingers gripped her tits painfully tight as he thrust his furyk into her mouth. The Mur fucked her mouth like he hadn’t just climaxed minutes ago.

De-et fucked her with a frenzy that matched his spawn-brother. Vaquel’s thighs became sore from all the pounding but she didn’t want him to stop. Months of fucking dildoes, vibrators, weird plant life and the occasional space anomaly couldn’t substitute for one good cunt fucking from a living being.

Hands gripped her ass. Impossibly long fingers squeezed and kneaded her buttocks. Vaquel figured it was Ce-et groping her ass. When one of his fingers slipped into her asshole, she choked on Ge-et’s furyk. The nimble finger pushed and poked into her tightest place.

Vaquel climaxed. She moaned her delight with Ge-et’s furyk in her mouth. Her cunt clenched tighter around De-et’s vibrating furyk. Ce-et pushed deeper into her clenching ass. Her body was completely filled and Vaquel couldn’t be happier.

The furyk in her mouth exploded with more sweet liquid. The furyk in her cunt erupted and filled her cunt with more alien seed. She barely had time to swallow it all before the spawn-brothers were changing position again. Now Ce-et was in her cunt while De-et moved to her mouth. Ge-et took over probing her ass with nimble fingers.

“How many times do you climax?” Vaquel said.

“Three, of course,” De-et said. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“Of course,” Vaquel said and put his furyk back in her mouth. Three times! Each!

Vaquel was looking forward to a long period of cultural exchanging.

Fuckstarter: Bob's Lapdance

2012-05-07T07:36:00.004-05:00

About this project: Bob Johnson got divorced this year and the fucking idiot is still missing his bitch ex-wife. The woman had his balls in a jar and didn't fuck him for three years and he still misses the she-devil. We, his concerned friends, need to show the dumb fuck that there are other women out there. Hell, there are women out there who will let him touch their boob without complaining about how the patriarchy is ruining the lives of women.

The goal of this Fuckstarter is to get Bob some ass. There is a strip club nearby but Bob is terrified that his mother who lives goddamn three states away will somehow find out about it. Gary has done some scouting and says that he met a stripper that is willing to do a house call. The stripper, Kayln, is demanding the money upfront.

Our Goal: One Hundred Dollars.

Pledge One Dollar: A buck would be greatly appreciated and if you are ever in town, we'll buy you a beer.

Pledge 10 Dollars: Now we're talking! Ten dollars gets you a picture of Kaylan in her bikini taken with our digital phone.

Pledge 25 Dollars: That gets you a picture of Kaylan's tits before Bob slobbers all over them. Unless you like slobber.

Pledge 50 Dollars: We will use Mike's laptop camera to record the whole lapdance show.

Pledge 100 Dollars: Fuck dude, we will get you Kaylan's panties.

Stretch Goal of 150 Dollars: Kaylan said for fifty dollars more, she'll give Bob a handjob. Come on, the dude went three years with his wife refusing to touch his dick. The dude needs some loving. We'll give everyone who contributed a DVD of Gary's amateur porn videos that he recorded with that freaky redhead that he dated last year.

Stretch Goal of 200 Dollars: Kaylan said that for two hundred dollars, she would suck Bob's dick. For that, everyone gets the OKCupid name of that freaky redhead.

Stretch Goal of 400 Dollars : Kaylan is willing to actually fuck Bob if we get this amount of money. We don't have anything else we can give you but come on, Bob really needs to get some. Help a brother out.

Dirty Books: Disappearing Penny

2012-05-04T09:54:00.000-05:00

"Disappearing Penny" is an erotic ebook by Jack Stratton. It tells the story of a young woman who becomes an assistant to a magician. To help her relax and perform on stage, he hypnotizes her and does some mind tricks with her personality. Sexiness ensues.

Most porn ebooks on Kindle are shit. I say that as a snob and as a writer but man, it is so true. Endless tales of incest fill the Kindle shelves. The plots are as deep as the titles in spam emails. The dialogue looks like it was ripped from instant message logs. Even a jaded glutton for punishment like myself can only take so much.

Which is why when a well written book like Disappearing Penny comes along, it is like a beautiful woman entering your life. A magician and his assistant? That's a great idea! A little hypnotism and mind control? That's naughty and has me morally conflicted! I like experiencing something other than anatomical descriptions. An ending that is unexpected with a controversy? Be still my beating heart.

My biggest crush is on the dialogue. Magician patter is almost impossible to pull off in writing but Stratton makes it look easy. even when he tells you trick up front but pointing out the alliteration, the words just flow like magic. Good dialogue in porn is worth all the money in the world.

It is a short story at 55 pages so telling you any more would be spoilers. Needless to say, I wish there was more books like this.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.

Fiction: Sponsor A Stud

2012-05-02T09:07:00.001-05:00

Dear Sponsor-MILF,

Thank you so much for your letter this week. I had a lot of school work to do and little time for fun. Your letter brightened my day and got me off twice last night. I am sure I will be jacking off to your letter for the rest of the week!

Reading about you masturbating with the items in your fridge was so exciting. I never thought about using a salad dressing bottle that way. This morning in the cafeteria, I saw the syrup bottle and I instantly thought of your tits. I would have loved to have licked them clean myself.

I also wanted to thank you for pictures. I know one dirty picture a day doesn’t seem like much, but it really makes me very happy. All the studying, essays and lab work gets really boring so it is a joy when I get your picture every day. Tits, ass, you sucking a dildo; it doesn’t matter what it is because it always gives me a boner.

I have to say though that my favorite picture was of you holding your tit with your hand. I loved seeing your fingers sink into your breast. I imagine that my fingers would look the same as I grab your tit while fucking you.

To answer your questions from your letter, I have to say that blowjobs are my favorite sex act. That might be because I have only had one and it was awesome. She wouldn’t let me finish in her mouth though. Just once I want to bust my nut in a girl’s mouth and see what it feels like.

To answer your other question, the best place for me to masturbate here at the dorms is in the showers. They have stalls here so I can close the door and have a bit of privacy. I usually take one of your pictures and put it in a ziplock bag so it doesn’t get wet. That way I can rub one out while staring right at you. Because it is a school shower, I try to be considerate and shoot all my junk right into the drain but sometimes I just get too excited and it goes everywhere.

I need to go back to my term paper but know that I have the biggest boner right now. Thank you from the bottom of my balls, Sponsor-MILF!

Your Foster-Stud,
Mike

Fiction: Guided Entry

2012-04-25T08:56:00.000-05:00

Explorer’s Log: I am a week away from the star system designated Queen’s Firm Breasts by Royal Astronomers. I finally finish processing the last of the metallurgy surveys of the asteroid where I did my repairs. It was a lot of tedious record keeping and analyzing but I am sure the Royal Navy will find them useful and give me proper compensation for the minerals I found. End Explorer’s Log

Explorer’s Personal Log: I never want to see another metal scan in my life. At least it kept me busy for a few days. There is fucking nothing to do on this fucking ship and I got seven more days to kill.

Vaquel Di stepped into the harness. Her nude brown body was suspended by straps around her thighs and shoulders. She positioned herself so that she was bent over with her ass high in the air. A heavy application of lubricant glistened on her ass.

The harness was designed for some sort of complex isometric exercise that Vaquel never got the hang of. Today she was using it to secure her position for a good ass-fucking.

At the back of the ship was a modified microprobe. A Deep Space Explorer had to get into a lot of tricky places and the micro-probe was designed to do just that. It had a tiny anti-gravity motor that let it carry the probe down deep canyons, dangerous caves or bottomless shafts. It usually carried a payload of super sensitive scanning equipment, but now the payload had been replaced with Vaquel’s vibrator.

Vaquel waited on the harness. She reached between her thighs and stroked her sex. She had preprogrammed the micro-probe to launch and seek out her anus. Since she had to remove the sensors to put in the vibrator, Vaquel had to calculate the flight plan ahead of time. It was a shit load of math, physics and vector programming for an ass fuck but it wasn’t like she had anything else to do while in space.

This was going to be awesome or it was going to be a disaster.

The microprobe timer expired and it launched. The anti-gravity motor hummed as the microprobe hovered through the ship. It was a straight path to Vaquel’s waiting ass but without the sensors to compensate for fluctuations and course corrections, nothing was ever simple. A million things could wrong and Vaquel had tried to guess them all.

Vaquel stroked faster. Her sex was wet from all the preparation. Working on the math had been a turn on. Making sure her ass was well lubricated had been a turn on. Sitting here in her harness was a hell of a turn on. All her work was either going to succeed and fail in the next few seconds.

Cold metal pressed against her ass. It mad missed her anus by an inch but Vaquel adjusted her curvy ass. The tip of the microprobe touched her anus and began a slow push inside.

Vaquel cried out. The speed she had programmed was perfect. The unrelenting push slowly opened her ass. Vaquel struggled to maintain her balance in the harness. Her ass was being split apart and it was everything Vaquel had hoped it would be. Despite the need to remain still, Vaquel’s fingers were furiously stroking her sex.

The microprobe kept pushing. For one terrifying moment, Vaquel worried that she had miscalculated the depth. The thought was so frightening that Vaquel’s cunt couldn’t stop clenching in excitement.

Right as the invasion in her ass reached her breaking point, the Microprobe stopped. The vibrations activated a second later.

Vaquel moaned. Her fingers kept stroking her wet cunt but she almost didn’t feel it. Her entire world centered on her ass and the metal intruder inside her. She felt expanded. She felt ripped apart. She felt like nothing she had ever experienced.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. Her orgasm rippled through her body. She clenched reflexively and her cheeks tightened around the microprobe. The microprobe continued to vibrate.

Vaquel reached behind her and touched the microprobe. Her wet fingers found the power relay and deactivated the probe. Carefully, she pulled the microprobe from he rass.

A new wave of pleasure rippled through her. The only thing more delightful than a forceful invasion was the removal of the invasion. Her ass came back together as the microprobe was removed.

Vaquel sighed happily in the harness. As she closed her eyes, she wondered if she should modify another microprobe. Programming two microprobes to penetrate her at the same time would be one hell of a feat.

She smiled. She didn’t have anything else to do.

39 and Kicking

2012-04-23T06:54:00.000-05:00

I turn 39 today. I am still a little shocked. Cancer has a way of stealing the future. I have obsessed over treatments, side effects and getting some of my affairs in order just in case the worse happened, and then here I am, still alive.

Alrighty then.

Because I am a hobbit at heart, I would like to give you your gift for my birthday, the gift of Ryan Kickland's music.

Fiction: The Lazurus Project

2012-04-18T10:21:00.000-05:00

I was in a meeting when my phone vibrated. The ‘C’ network was negotiating the wedding broadcast rights to one of our reality stars and we were debating the right time to plan the divorce. My boss wanted the divorce to be three months later but marketing had strong evidence that a 3 week later divorce would be a bonanza. It was a crucial decision that could impact the ratings for the next reality show wedding.

When the reality star’s agent negotiated for bachelorette party, I checked my phone. My heart sank when I saw the message. I also got a hard-on.

The message was just “H”. H stood for Holly Valentine, ruthless reporter for the INX website. So far in this past year Holly had revealed the C network’s involvement in creating our own octuplets mother as well as our bribe to a has been celebrity to marry a porn star. She was destroying our company’s reputation one story at a time.

H also stood for handjob. That was the payment Holly valentine usually gave me for the information I leaked to her.

“Let’s break for lunch,” my boss said. “And while you are on lunch, I want you all to think of what magazines we want to offer exclusives to for the wedding, and what magazines we should offer exclusives to for the divorce.”

This was my chance. I could sneak away from the office, go down several streets until I reach our pre-arranged alley, and get my handjob from a hot redhead reporter. Or I could do the smart thing and eat my lunch inside the office and stop risking my career for cheap thrills.

Five minutes later I was outside. I kept telling myself that the only reason I was going was because I wanted to tell Holly in person that I was quitting. I swore to myself that I would not tell her anything. I would be good this time.

I reached our alley. It was a dark place with plenty of dumpsters and boxes to hide behind. The smell of urine was overpowering. My cock was throbbing like a reality star on her first network sponsored bender.

“Over here, “Holly said.

She was standing behind the dumpster. Long red hair flickered like fire in the dim light of the alley. She had a business appropriate black skirt on that went down to her ankles but her black blouse was decadently open. Her pale freckled breasts jiggled freely with every step she took. Lipstick as red as her hair called out to me.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I said. I was surprised at my strength.

“Yes you can, Bob,” Holly said. She said it with such confidence. My weakness was just another fact to her.

“No,” I said. “Not this time. When you published that story about the porn marriage, my boss was convinced we had a leak. I’m just lucky they fired that Muslim guy and quit looking.”

Holly came closer. I couldn’t get over how lewd she was with her open blouse. She ran her painted red fingernails over her hard nipple. Anyone could come down this alley and see her like this. She looked like a hooker and I was her dirty filthy customer. Oh God, I was hard.

“Unzip your pants,” Holly said. Her green eyes commanded me.

“No,” I said.

“Fine,” she said. She unzipped my pants. I could have fought her but I didn’t. I did nothing as she pulled my pants down to my ankles. She took my cock in her hand and I moaned. My cock pulsed in her tight grip but I couldn’t be responsible for that. In my heart, I was resisting her.

“I have heard of a secret project,” Holly sad. “Something called the Lazarus Project.”

I gasped in terror. How had Holly even heard of that project? It was the most protected secret in all of the C Network!

“You have heard of it?” Holly said.

“I can’t tell you,” I said. “Hey, I can tell you about our next marriage/divorce schedule if you want.”

Holly looked down at my cock. “No, I want to hear about the Lazarus Project. Celebrity networks don’t usually invoke a biblical reference unless it is really big.”

“I can’t,” I said. “They would cut my dick off if they ever found out.”

Holly nodded. For one brief moment, I thought she was going to understand how serious I was. That moment faded as soon as she liked her crimson lips.

“And I will suck your cock for the information.”

Oh shit. This beautiful redhead wanted to suck my cock in a dirty alley on a busy day. I squealed a long whimper of defeat.

“Start talking,” Holly said.

She squatted down before me. The alley was too dirty for her to get on her knees but that was okay. She held my cock in her hand and guided me toward her lips. I felt the brief flicker of her tongue against me before her red lips engulfed me. Further and further she guided me into her mouth until I felt her nose breathing on the base of my cock.

“The Lazarus Project is a way to recoup money invested in celebrities who have outlived their market potential,” I said. That might sound like a sophisticated description coming from a man getting his cock sucked, but to be honest I had the whole proposal memorized. Balls deep in a woman’s mouth, my brain were on autopilot.

Holly’s eyes looked up at me. Her cheeks caved in as she sucked harder. I gripped her shoulders as my knees threatened to give out. The look in her green eyes told me to keep talking.

“The recent funeral of that singer really showed us how much money could be made of a death,” I continued. “You can air old footage, create shows where friends remember the dead and then finally you can televise the funeral. The person can have destroyed their reputation before they died but it doesn’t matter because only assholes speak ill of the dead.”

Holly pulled her mouth down the length of my cock. I was afraid that she was going to take me completely out of her mouth but no, she reached my tip and then plunged back down on my cock. I re-entered her mouth in slow motion and every last bit of resistance within me melted.

“Waiting for celebrities to die is inefficient,” I said. “So our plan is to approach a few and encourage them to die on a schedule. Some will do it for money up front while others will do it just for the chance to give input on their memorial broadcasts. There is no shortage of celebrities who want to manage their last days.”

Holly moaned. Or maybe she growled, I wasn’t sure. Either way, the vibrations of her mouth did wonderful things to my cock. I had to put my hands against the dirty wall behind me for support.

Holly pulled her mouth from my cock. A line of spit fell from my cock and onto one of her perfect freckled breasts. She gripped my cock and jerked me.

“I am going to need know when this project is starting,” she said.

A horn honked from the street and it was too loud to answer right away. “It has already started.”

The reporter frowned. “I am going to need the names of the people who have signed on.”

“No way,” I said. “You have enough to ruin the project just by exposing it. Of course, it will just be a rumor and when someone dies, people will wonder if- OH GOD!”

Holly took me back into her mouth. She moved fast and hard on my cock. There was no more teasing, she was just trying to get me off. The redhead choked on my cock as she sucked me in the dirty alley. It was fucking perfect.

I gave her names. I told her about the 80’s child star and the 90’s boy band singer. I told her about the cooking show winner and the reality show judge. I told her out schedule and our prime sponsors. I told her the focus group determined cause of deaths as well as the real reason that celebrities die in threes. I told her everything.

Through out it all, Holly fucked my cock with her face. She gagged herself like the whores I never had the courage to buy. The more I talked, the faster she sucked. Every bit of information I gave her just motivated her more.

I came in her mouth. Usually she just jerked me off onto her breasts, but this time she swallowed as I emptied myself in her. Any guilt I had in revealing my network’s secrets was swallowed away by her willing throat.

When she let go of my cock it took everything I had to keep standing. My knees were shaking and my balls were drained. I knew that my company would be ruined but I just couldn’t summon the will to care.

Holly stood up and buttoned her blouse. “Thank you, Bob. I will text you again if I need anything.”

“Where are you going now?” I asked.

Holly smiled at me. “I have more sources to pump.”

Dirty Books: Tong in Cheek

2012-04-16T08:52:00.005-05:00

Tong on Cheek by Glen Chase is a 1973 sex spy book about Cherry Delight. Cherry works for N.Y.M.P.H.O which stands for New York Mafia Prosecution and Harassment Organization. Cherry is a natural redhead who loves sex and hates the mafia. She is deadly with guns, knives and unarmed combat and she great in bed.

The plot is that three Mafia hitmen have gone to communist China to make a deal with the criminal element there. Cherry is assigned to kill these guys and while she is at it, make sure they don't form a Mafia-Triad alliance. Intrigue!

You would think that with a title like "Tong in Cheek" that this would be a humorous book with cheesy names and funny situations. You would be totally wrong. This humorless book tries to be very serious while at the same time playing on almost Yellow Peril stereotype you can imagine the from the 70's. I read a lot of books from the period so I am used to the casual racism, but the situations and places covered look like they fell out of a pulp book from the 20's. And just to be clear, I don't mean that in a good way.

The book has plenty of sex but not much else. The plot feels frayed and strange. One good guy character gives off so many traitor vibes that I am utterly confused when he never becomes a traitor or is even suspected as one. A secret Chinese treasure is introduced part way through the story and hijacks the plot. You almost feel like there was an accident in the plot workshop and two books collided.

This really becomes apparent in the final act when people get captured and tortured. After more than a hundred pages of sex, two graphic torture and murder scenes feel very out of tone for the book. Cherry gets gang raped which was another dark surprise. It is like watching Porky's and then in the last 20 minutes, Eli Roth murders everyone.

According to the internet, Glen Chase was the same author who did the early Lady from L.U.S.T. books. The difference is pretty amazing. The one Lady book I read was light on sex and heavy on plot. This book was 90% sex and a really shoddy plot. There is an interesting essay to be written about the changing expectations of spy erotica over the years but I will let someone else do it. All you need to know is that this book is not any fun and not worth your time.

I give it One out of Five Pam Griers.

Sheba's Tacos

2012-04-13T08:12:00.002-05:00

For a limited time only, Sheba’s is proud to announce the return of the Sheba Taco! You have heard about it, you have dreamed about and sometimes you thought it was as rare as a drama free threesome, but now it is finally here!

Just imagine: a crunchy corn shell shaped to fit between the thighs of a beautiful woman. Fresh lettuce that was shredded moments before you ordered it. Cheese made from real dairy products*. Real ground meat that came from a cow that grew up on an all cowgirl ranch. ** All of it prepared by a topless Sheba’s employee! ***

Choose from three types of salsa! We have Summer Affair for those who like it hot! We have Passion Fruit for those who like it sweet and running down their chin! We also have Vajayjay, our unique special salsa that you won’t be able to stop eating!

Sheba’s Tacos are available for a limited time only. Customers always say they eat Sheba’s Tacos but no one really believes you until they see you eat one. Studies have shown that men and women who eat Sheba’s Tacos are 70% more likely to satisfy their female sexual partners. ****

* Most of our competitors get their cheese from Russian sex slaves. It is not remotely sexy. Look it up.

** Most of our competitors use sand, pseudo meat and the leftover fingers of Yakuza employees who have dishonored themselves.

*** Log into your local Sheba’s website to watch a livecam of Sheba’s employees as they make your food.

**** Von Madd Culinary/Sexual Correlations Study 2010.

Fiction: Offering of the Hour

2012-04-11T06:26:00.000-05:00

Last week I got a call from an old friend from high school. Jonathan and I used to spend all our time together playing games, swapping fantasy books and other nerdy shit. When we went to college, I kind of fell in with a cooler crowd and I didn’t want to waste all my time dressing up for Harry Potter movies. Shit, I wanted to get laid. It has been a year since we have talked and I felt a little bad for it. The weird thing was that he didn’t seem to mind at all.

“David, if I sent you some music, do you think you could play it for a project my friends and I are doing?”

Visions of nerds having some sort of Elven ceremony danced through my head.

“What kind of project?” I said as non-committal as possible.

“The music needs to be played live,” Jonathan said. “We will be doing a ritual and although the ritual takes only an hour, we need some music for the first and last five minutes. We can pay you two hundred bucks.”

“Oh,” I said. Two hundred bucks could come in handy with Spring Break coming up. “Sure, I can do that.”

“Great, I’ll email you the music and the address,” Jonathan said. “Practice it and then come to the address this Saturday at noon. Thanks a lot man, I got to go. Bye!”

I smiled. Jonathan had hung on me. All this time I had felt bad avoiding the nerd and now he was cold calling me for a favor. It was ironic and the two hundred bucks made it easier to take.

I checked my email and saw that he had already sent it to me. I opened the pdf and saw some weird pages. It looked like they had scanned some really old music pages. There were notes written on the page but it looked French or some shit. The music looked odd but it was playable.

More interesting was the drawings on the margins of the pages. It looked liked someone had drawn dozens of naked men and women. I wondered what pervy crap my old friend was up to. Well, even nerds have to get some.

The week went by and I practiced the music on my keyboard. The music was pretty funky. It almost sounds like the music you would hear in porn music; repetitious beats and music that were timed for hip thrusts. It was pretty good though. Every damn time I played I got a stiffy.

When Saturday rolled around I went to the address. It was in an okay neighborhood with not too many foreclosures. There were cars already there and I wondered if I was the music for some sort of party. I hoped to God it wasn’t a sex party because I really did not want to see Jonathan’s junk.

A woman answered the door, which surprised me greatly. She was a big girl with bigger breasts spilling out of some sort of black corset. Her brown hair was heavily hairsprayed into a threatening aura around her head. She looked at me with disdain.

“We were worried you were going to be late,” she said.

It was ten to noon. I forced a smile because two hundred bucks is two hundred bucks. “I was running late,” I lied. “My name if David.”

“I’m Moonshadow,” she said. “Come on in and set up in the living room.”

I didn’t even smirk when she said “Moonshadow”. Two hundred bucks was a great night at the bars. I was going to be as professional as possible and get my money.

“Holy shit,” I said as I walked in the living room. My goals of professionalism went right out the window when I saw what they were doing.

There was a naked woman suspended from the ceiling. She had her hands tied behind her back and she was facing down towards to the floor. The rope was blue and criss-crossed over her body in hundreds of little knots. Her ankles were bound to her thighs and the roped kept her legs indecently apart. In fact, her sex was open and pointed right at me.

“Those knots are killer, aren’t they?” Jonathan said. “It took us hours to get them just right. The book was very specific on how they had to be.

Jonathan was in black jeans a black silk shirt. If it wasn’t for the lifelong acne on his face, he would have looked vaguely sinister.

“Hey, is this some sort of sex thing?” I asked.

Jonathan shrugged. “We don’t think so. Damien thinks the nudity represents a willingness to debase oneself before higher powers.”

“Wait, did you say Damien? Is this a cult?”

“Cult is an ugly word,” someone said behind me. I turned faced a man in green robes. I thought he was wearing a snuggie at first but nope, those were real robes with a hood. He had slicked down hair and a goatee like some sort of Vegas magician who does mind tricks on the street. He might have looked imposing except for the really thick glasses he wore.

”Seriously, is this a cult?” I asked. “I like money but shit, I can’t just sit here while you cut some girl up.”

Jonathan and Damien laughed. The girl in the rope laughed too. Moonshadow turned the girl in her rope so she could face us. The girl in the rope had a pretty smile and cute short red hair. Okay, mostly I was staring at her enormous tits.

“We’re not going to kill my girlfriend, David,” Jonathan said. “Sheesh.”

“This is your girlfriend?” I asked. I didn’t know what was weirder: the freaky cult stuff or the fact that Jonathan had a girlfriend.

“David, meet Megan,” Jonathan said.

“Hey Megan,” I said. It was really hard not to stare at her tits.

“This is why I didn’t want to bring a neophyte,” Moonshadow said.

“Can you play the piano?” Damien said. “The ritual says that to forgo live music is to tempt fate.”

“Yeah, again, what kind of ritual are we doing? I’m not religious but I don’t know if I can watch you guys do freaky stuff.”

“Tell me, David,” Damien said in a way I bet he thought was friendly. It came across more as condescending. “Are you familiar with the works of Zacharie Roux?”

“Is he a soccer player?” I asked.

“Cute,” Damien said. “Zacharie Roux was a monk who left the Church when he discovered that God was very much alive and still talking to us, but we were unable to listen. Roux discovered that God was a writer and that he was writing the story of our lives every day. He learned how to read God’s word in the world around us and he taught others. Some say he taught Alexander Dumas how to become a best selling author.”

“Oh, the guy who wrote Hunchback of Notre Dame?” I said.

Moonshadow, Jonathan, Megan and Damien snickered. “No,” Damien said. “Dumas wrote the Three Musketeers. It is one of the most read books ever published and Dumas often hinted that he had divine or perhaps infernal help.”

“I don’t remember any naked tied up ladies in the Three Musketters,” I said.

“True,” Damien said. “But Roux does. Roux wrote all of his secrets in a journal called Dieu Pen. It translates literally as God’s Pen. The journal has been published and spread by his followers. There are many copies and versions but recently I came across what I think is a first edition. We have been using it to read God’s writing.”

“Interesting,” I said. As long as he had the two hundred bucks, I was cool.

“It was awesome!” Jonathan said. “You have no idea, David! We did one of the rituals and it let us see the weather for the next year! Another ritual told me that Megan was interested in me!”

“I was pretty good about hiding it,” the naked girl said.

“Okay,” I said. “What does today’s ritual do?”

Damien smiled. “Today we will talk to God.”

God apparently likes music so I set up my keyboard. The others began to draw weird patterns in the floor with chalk. Thankfully no one else took off any more clothes.

Damien nodded towards me and I played the music. The others began to chant. It felt freaky but also silly. I only needed to play my bit at the beginning and at the end. My music only took about three minutes. I finished and sat there quietly. Mostly I tried not to star at Megan’s tits.

A few minutes later, something weird happened.

“Guys!” Megan yelled. “I am in a giant glass place! There are crystals and circles everywhere!”

I wondered if they had slipped Megan some peyote or something.

“Do you see God?” Damien asked.

Megan didn’t seem to hear him. “Guys? Are you there? There are other women hanging from ropes! I see black women, Japanese women, some Mexican looking women and Jesus Christ! There is a red woman here, like something out of Star Trek!”

Moonshadow reached out to touch Megan but Damien slapped her hand away. “No, we might sever the link. Her spirit is elsewhere.”

“Uh, guys?” Megan said. “There is a guy coming towards me and OH MY GOD! He has the biggest shlong!”

Jonathan took a step towards her but this time Moonshadow stopped him.

“Oh shit,” Megan said. Her legs spread apart wider. Her whole body shook violently and she cried out. It was one long moan.

Megan shook. Hell, the ropes shook with her. It looked like someone was banging the shit out of her. She bounced back and forth and the ropes held her fucked body.

I watched her breasts suddenly change shape. It took a moment to realize that they looked like someone invisible was grabbing her. That someone was holding her tits as they gave her the fucking of her life.

“Do you have no questions for your God?” a voice came from Megan’s throat but it sure as fuck wasn’t Megan. It was deep and commanding. Like your dad when he knows you have fucked up.

“God?” Damien said. He dropped to his knees. “God, is that you?”

“Yes, Eugene, it is me,” Megan answered in that freaky voice. “Your offering is pleasing. Her cunt is wet and ready for me. I shall speak with you.”

They sure as shit don’t talk about shit like this in the Bible.

“God, this is Moonshadow! I have a question too!”

“Of course you do, Hillary,” the voice answered. Megan’s eyes grew wider as something pulled her hair and fucked her harder. “All who are here can ask their question!”

“God,” Damien said, still on his knees. “How may we gain more knowledge to better serve you?”

“You want more knowledge to have more power you lying sack of shit,” the voice said. “But since I created you, I forgive your selfishness. Go to your history professor and offer yourself sexually to him. After a week of oral service, he will let you borrow his more forbidden books. Be sure to swallow.”

Damien looked very pale. “Uh, is there no other way? I thought sodomy was a sin?”

Megan cried out on her own voice. Her eyes grew wide and the shaking got more violent. She winced in a way that I had seen a few times in porn. I glanced at her ass and saw that the anus was wide open. The poor girl was getting her ass fucked.

“I created all sin, and all sin is good,” the voice replied. “And I am telling you to suck your teacher’s cock if you want power. The choice is yours.”

“Jesus,” Damien/Eugene said.

“Next question!” the voice called.

“Sir, it’s me,” Moonshadow said. As if God needed people to identify themselves. “How can I become rich and powerful?”

“Hillary, your journey is harder,” the voice said. “Mostly because you are a greedy and bitter creature created to make others suffer. If you desire money, you can achieve it by going to Dallas, Texas and seeking out the Queen in Blood. That is a leather club that specializes in dominating rich older men. Go there and tell them that you want to become an apprentice. They will sorely test and abuse you but if you persevere, you will have your own sugar daddy to abuse and despoil for the rest of your short measured life.”

Moonshadow became paler than Damien. “What do you mean but short meas-“

“Next question!” the voice boomed.

“I guess that is me,” Jonathan said. He didn’t look like he wanted to ask at all. “God, umm, what should I do to be happy?”

“Fuck,” the voice answered. At first I thought it was mad but no, he just meant fuck.

“Is that all?” Jonathan said.

“That is all there is,” the voice said. “But I will give you some free advice and suggest you try some Denacil acne cream. Next question!”

They looked at each other and then the looked at me.

“Ask your question,” Damien whispered.

I looked at Megan. The invisible hands were still mauling her breasts. I think he was out of her ass because she wasn’t making that wincing face anymore. In fact, she was smiling contently now as the fucking continued. Her eyes were half closed and she was off in her own little world.

“Yeah, I have a question,” I said. “Are you really God?”

Damien gasped. I think Moonshadow was ready to punch me. Jonathan however looked a little hopeful.

“In the beginning there was nothing,” the voice said. “And then I spoke the word and the word was FUCK! I created the earth to be fucked on. I created the sky so people being fucked would look up at it. I created the animals to fuck and to inspire fucking. I created people to fuck and fuck for me. I am your creator and all your petty desires, your daily trials and your lifelong goals are just to provide context for your fucking. Yes, I am God.”

“Fuck,” I said.

The voice grew silent. Megan’s voice became her own as she moaned, whimpered and cried out. An hour was a long time to be fucked.

When the hour was up, I played the music. The invisible fucking stopped and Damien cut her free. Jonathan put a robe around her and got her some lotion for her tender spots. Moonshadow gave me my money and showed me the door.

They didn’t contact me again.

Damien had dropped out of school and had moved in with his history professor. It was quite the scandal.

Moonshadow left town. I can only assume she went to Dallas. I tried looking up that club but it wasn’t listed anywhere.

Megan started some sort of weird burlesque/church thing on the outskirts of town. I thought about going to see it but they charge five hundred dollars at the door.

Jonathan was a different story. He left town and is traveling the country. He sends me postcards from time to time. He has been from one coast to the other. Mostly he talks about the women he is banging. He calls it his pilgrimage.

And then there is me. Sometimes I think that couldn’t have been God, but then I remember that voice. He’s God. There is no doubt. God exists and he is a big fucking pervert. War, politics, religion and all of history is just one big fucking background for the divine pornography of human existence.

I haven’t had an erection since. It is hard knowing that God is not only watching, but he might be jacking off to it.

Dirty Books: They Want Our Women

2012-04-09T08:24:00.005-05:00

"They Want Our Women" is a stand alone comic book by Lon Ryden. A combination of short stories and one page comic gags, this funny/disturbing book deals with the sexual comedy of little green men and the earth women they experiment with.

Bondage and distress humor is always tricky. Jokes made at the expense of captured women can always lean into unpleasant serial killer territory if the writer isn't careful. What helps Ryden out is that he draws some of the cutest aliens you have ever seen and most of the women don't look all that distressed. The art style keeps the mood light even when some of the jokes get a bit dark.

The best way to get your copy of this book, as well his really nice art pieces is to go to his ebay store.

I give it Four out of Five Pam Griers

Cancer Free Since April 4th 2012

2012-04-06T06:32:00.003-05:00

My latest blood tests show that my tumor markers are 0.7. That means I am technically cancer free.

It feels weird that in the span of four months I had a giant nad that was cancerous and now I have a clean bill of health. It feels like my life is a short TV season and the plot for this season has been resolved. Well, I will be doing cancer tests for the rest of my life but the main worry is gone. It just feels weird.

You know, chemo is no joke. It was easily the worse I have ever felt and I only did two rounds. If someone in your life is going through chemo, be fucking nice to them. Chemo patients are my new heroes.

I really need to cook more. During the worse of my chemo the most I could eat was cheese toast. That was it. After my chemo I find myself craving everything I don't know how to make. I have flirted with cooking a lot but usually I get distracted by writing and I let my skills slide. Not this time. Maybe it is a matter of not appreciating something until you can't have it, but now I want to learn to cook everything. Food is a crucial part of joy to me and I want to be very happy with what life I have left.

Mostly though I am emotionally exhausted. Cancer is too big of a topic to digest in four months. I feel angry that I had cancer in the first place and relieved that it was one of the most curable types. I am angry that it hijacked my life and happy that it is over. I am proud of myself for surviving it and not losing my mind, and ashamed that I got upset over something that is over already. I need more time to process it all.

Luckily, I have that time.

Preview: Violatrix

2012-04-04T07:02:00.001-05:00

Communications Officer Falexia Pom waited by the elevator. Her collar had summoned her to the bridge and the young officer was nervous. This was her first day as a bridge officer and she wanted to make a good impression.

Falexia shook her head. The translator implant in her brain only required her to mentally think of the proper symbol in order to shut down, but Falexia was still trying to turn it off with physical actions. She only had the implant for two weeks but already it was making life difficult for her. It was becoming clear why most Communications Officers burned out within a solar cycle.

Falexia checked herself in the mirror glass of the elevator. Her long blonde hair was pinned back in a regulation ponytail. The black metal collar that all Royal Navy personnel wore caught the light of the hallway and glimmered. Her rank allowed her a small amount of personal jewelry and she chose modest diamond earrings looted from a previous conquest of the ship.

It was her uniform that was taking a little getting used to. The tight black skirt barely came halfway down her thighs. The regulation black thong she wore would provide no cover for her ass if her skirt rose. Her already large breasts looked even larger held in by the black leather half-shirt. Her breasts threatened to spill out of the cutaway hole that exposed her cleavage with every breath. The stiletto boots were definitely sexier than the sandals she used to wear as an enlisted crewmember. While the rest of the ship wore simple black jumpsuits, Falexia’s uniform was designed to arouse and intimidate.

She looked good. She felt good. This is what she wanted. Being a Bridge Officer meant she had her own private quarters, a higher share of the conquest loot and personal command over any one that was not an officer. For the first time in Falexia’s career in the Navy, she had finally achieved a small slice of power.

The elevator doors opened. Captain Mitus Raz stood inside. Falexia felt her heart race at the sight of the Captain. Her jaw still hurt from when he interviewed her. She stepped inside and smiled politely.

“Good shift, Sir,” she said.

Captain Raz didn’t appear to acknowledge her. Falexia was relieved. She took the opportunity to observe him at her leisure. Last time they met, she had been too busy choking down his cock to look at him.

The Captain’s skin was dark ebony. He shaved his head and his lips were locked into a perpetual self satisfied smirk. The black collar almost blended in with the darkness of his skin except for the red skull that designated him as Captain. The red jacket of his uniform couldn’t hide the thick muscles of his powerful arms. The sharp knife hanging on his belt was decorated with gems befitting a Captain.

Falexia trembled. She remembered his hands pulling her hair as he forced her onto his cock. This was the most powerful man on the ship and her career and life could be snuffed out by him on a whim. She was afraid of him but her cunt was also terribly attracted to him. Was this normal for an officer?

The elevator traveled upwards to the bridge. Falexia closed her eyes and tried to slow her heartbeat. She also tried to stop the wetness between her thighs. She needed to focus on her job.

She gasped as strong fingers gripped her throat. Her eyes opened to see Captain Raz standing before her. There was fury in his eyes.

“Ensign Pom, you reek of fear,” the Captain Raz said.

“Sorry, Sir,” Falexia whispered. The grip was unrelenting on her throat.

“You are an officer of Queen Erishella’s Royal Navy,” Captain Raz said. “More importantly, you are the communications officer of my ship and you will be representing me. I can not be represented by a coward too afraid to keep her eyes open.”

“Yes, Sir, sorry Captain!” Falexia croaked. The fingers weren’t relaxing at all.

Captain Raz looked down on her. “It’s not just fear I smell on you, is it Ensign?”

“What do you mean, Captain?” Falexia said. How could he tell? Was she really that wet?

Captain Raz placed his other hand on her chest. He gripped her breast harder than the fist around her throat. The leather provided no protection as his fingers dug into her. She moaned as he crushed her breast. There was no point in denying it now. She was wet.

“A little bit of desire is not a bad thing,” Captain Raz said. “It keeps a crew sharp. It helps maintain morale.”

“Yes,” Falexia moaned.

The grip around her throat tightened painfully. Stars exploded in front of Falexia’s eyes.

“Yes, Captain!” Falexia corrected.

The terrible grip relaxed slightly. Falexia could breathe again.

“That’s better,” Captain Raz said. His other hand released her breast. It drifted down to her skirt and Falexia felt a new panic rise within her.

“Control your fear,” Captain Raz growled. His hand went under her skirt. Nimble fingers pulled away her regulation thong and pushed into her sex.

“Oh fuck!” Falexia groaned.

“Fuck indeed, Lieutenant,” the Captain said. “You are soaked. Is it your new promotion that has turned you on? Are you flush with power? How many of the enlisted have you ordered to have sex with you since your promotion?”

“Four, Captain.” Falexia confessed.

Captain Raz’s fingers pushed deeper. He had three fingers in her and he wasn’t being gentle. She took him. Her hips rolled with his fingers as he thrust.

“Four,” Captain Raz said. “Not a bad start, Lieutenant. And how many crewmembers have you punished for revenge?”

“Seven,” Falexia moaned. His fingers were so deep in her. He was fucking her where she stood.

“Excellent, vengeance is an important part of being an officer,” Captain Raz said.

The elevator stopped. Falexia expected the Captain to let her go but he kept both hands on her. She was impaled on his fingers and collared by his hand. There was no escape for her.

A crewman stepped in. He hesitated when he saw the Captain, but when he saw what the Captain was doing to Falexia, he stepped right in. Falexia didn’t know the crewman, but it didn’t lessen her humiliation. The lowly crewman was openly leering at where Captain Raz was fingering her.

She closed her eyes with embarrassment. They popped open again as Captain Raz choked her. Only when her eyes were wide open did he relax his grip.

His other fingers never ceased fucking her.

“Keep those eyes open, Lieutenant,” he commanded. “You are a bridge officer now. Be proud. Even when a lowly crewman is gawking at you, keep your head up high and keep those damn eyes open.”

“Yes, Captain,” Falexia moaned.

“Look him in the eye,” Captain Raz ordered.

Falexia obeyed. She looked right at the crewman. He was older than her, probably been in Navy service for at least twenty cycles. She saw the bulge in his jumpsuit and knew that he desired her. He looked her back, his expression being one of arrogance and mocking.

Falexia whimpered as Captain Raz finger fucked her faster. He pushed her legs apart to expose more of her. In the small confines of the elevator, the sounds of her cunt being fucked was inescapable. She could smell herself now, which meant that the crewman could smell her as well.

What if they reached the Bridge? Falexia wasn’t sure if the Captain would let her go. She suspected that he might keep her just like this till he was done with her, no matter how many officers saw her.

The thought made her tremble some more. It also made her cunt ache.

“What is your name, crewman?” Captain Raz asked.

“Qindoc Guk, Captain!” the crewman snapped.

“Qindoc, if I decided to demote Ensign Pom here and give her to you as punishment, could you handle that duty?”

“What?” Falexia said. His fingers tightened painfully around her throat. She gasped for air and his fingers relaxed only slightly.

“Yes, sir!” Qindoc replied.

“And what would you do to her?” Captain Raz asked.

“I would whip her to an inch of her life,” Qindoc said. “I have a few belts that would take the skin right off her, sir!”

“But would you fuck her, crewman?” Captain Raz asked.

“By the Queen I would fuck her,” Qindoc said. “I would fuck those big breasts and I would fuck her mouth. I would save her ass for last and I wouldn’t stop until her tight ass was full of my seed.”

“Excellent, crewman,” Captain Raz said. “I can tell that you have officer material in you.”

Captain Raz pushed his fingers further up Falexia’s cunt. Despite the horror of Qindoc’s eagerness to abuse her, her cunt was clenching and wet.

“Now listen, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Qindoc here is enjoying your troubles. He’s looking at your cunt, he’s listening to your cunt and he can smell your cunt. Right now he is enjoying himself immensely at your expense, isn’t that right, Qindoc?”

“Yes, Captain!” Qindoc snapped. The crewman licked his lips as her imagined the joys he could inflict on her.

Captain Raz stroked her a little slower, perhaps so she could pay better attention.

“Remember his face, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Remember his name. Recall that you are now an Officer and this scum dared to enjoy your misery.”

Qindoc’s mocking smile melted into an uncertain frown.

Falexia moaned and now it was from a sense of power.

Falexia threw her head back to break the translation cycle. Captain Raz took it as an invitation to stroke faster. She had no problem with that.

“That’s right, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Later you can fuck his face for your amusement. Or maybe you will just have him hurt. It is in your power. But you only have that power if you continue to represent me in the manner befitting the Violatrix. Are we clear on that?”

They were fast approaching the bridge. Falexia mastered the terror rising within her and looked at the Captain with as much confidence as she could muster.

“Yes, Captain,” Falexia said.

“Very good,” Captain Raz said. He pulled his fingers out of her cunt. She bit back the whimper that came to her lips. She was so close and now he was done. It might have been worth being exposed on the bridge just to have gotten off.

He also released her throat. Falexia swallowed her first gulp of real air in what seemed like ages. Her throat ached but she resisted the urge to touch her neck for bruises.

Crewmen Qindoc had his back to her. Obviously he was desperately hoping that she will forget him. Falexia smiled. She would have to track him down later and come up with a suitable punishment.

She did really wish that she had at least climaxed.

“Now, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Clean my fingers.”

He presented his fingers to her. They glistened with her desire. The Captain looked at her with an impatient expression.

Falexia opened her lips and accepted his fingers to her mouth. The Royal Navy had long ago taught Falexia that when in doubt, use your mouth. She sucked and licked his fingers. Because he was the Captain, she took her time and used her tongue meticulously on his fingers. It would not do to rush this job, no matter how close they were the bridge.

The doors opened. Qindoc hurried out the door. Falexia looked to Captain Raz but his expression did not change. For all his advice, he was willing to let her invite more punishment.

Falexia kept licking. She could still taste herself on him. There were a lot of her juices to clean.

Some on the bridge were glancing her way. Falexia wanted to close her eyes but she remembered the Captain’s words. She kept them open. She faced the other officers and endured their smirks.

That was okay. She would do her Captain proud. Maybe next time he would let her climax.

“There you go, Captain,” she said when she was finished.

“Take your post, Ensign,” Captain Raz said.

She stepped out onto the bridge with her head high and her eyes open.

To be continued in Violatrix.

Violatrix is Here

2012-04-02T05:57:00.004-05:00

Hot damn, my science fiction book, Violatrix, is finally available for purchase. Holy shit, this one took forever. Two years ago I starting thinking about how cute it would be to write about a starship where the crew was more Ming the Merciless than Star Trek and after a long perilous journey, the book is finally here. Hell, before I went into surgery to get my giant nad removed, my last request to my wife was that if I died, to make sure that Violatrix book got published.

So what is it about? The Violatrix is a warship that seeks out new planets and new lifeforms to enslave for the wicked Queen Erishella. Captain Mitus Raz does his best to keep his crew in top fighting shape while also fucking them on the side. It is a crew where officers fuck those of lower rank and fuck over those of higher rank. They encounter a planet where the population appears to be submissive pain sluts who were waiting for the Great Ones to come back and enslave them. It seems too good to be true and yeah, it kind of is.

"Hey Shon, this sounds a lot like the Mirror Universe in Star Trek!" you may say. You're right. I was greatly inspired by the Enterprise episodes that took place entirely in the evil universe. It occurred to me that I rather watch bad people who got laid than watch good people who flirt. Since I already had the Queen Erishella universe I figured that I would use her as a guiding point. Let's face it, most of the best lines from the Flash Gordon movies comes from the bad guys. Bad guys are cool.

For the low price of 9.99$ you can buy the paperback version with the cool George Sportelli cover at Lulu. Buy the Lulu Version Here

For the lower price of 2.99 you can get the Kindle version from Amazon. Buy The Kindle Version Here

Fiction: Menage a Tentacle

2012-03-28T10:46:00.002-05:00

Explorer’s Log: I have finally left the star system designated Bounce of the Queen’s Ass, by Royal Astronomers. It took two weeks of dodging Squix patrol ships and traveling under FTL speeds but I finally left behind those crazy promiscuous artificial intelligences. I just hope those fuckers aren’t following me.

Due to damage inflicted on my Deep Space Probe by a horny Squix ship, I am heading towards a small asteroid field. These rogue asteroids are in the middle of space outside of any star system so I plan to make my repairs in peace. Once I have repaired the ship, I will set course towards the star system designated Queen’s Firm Breasts by Royal Astronomers. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: Great. There are few things duller than making repairs on an asteroid. While I am making replacement plates for the ship, I might as well carve myself a new dildo to replace the one I broke.

Vaquel Di checked the Easy-Fabricate Plate Oven. The red light was still on. That meant the oven was still melting and molding the minerals placed within into a handy hull plate for the Deep Space Probe. The hull plates were only as large as Vaquel’s areole and the gaping hole in her ship was as large as one of Vaquel’s heavy tits. After two hours, she had made three hull plates.

“This is going to take forever,” Vaquel said. She stood up and stretched. The dim light of the camp lamp illuminated the tight pink space suit that clung to every curve of her voluptuous body. The glassteel bubble encased her head but revealed her cute brown face with her cuter short pink hair. Vaquel knew that she looked good enough to fuck but since this was an asteroid in the middle of space, there wasn’t a damn soul around to appreciate what she had going on.

Vaquel looked up at the stars and wondered just how far away a good fuck really was. Space was huge and Vaquel couldn’t shake the thought that it might me light years before she found something with a cock.

Something grabbed her foot and pulled. The low gravity of the asteroid meant Vaquel fell to the ground in slow motion. It gave her plenty of time to see the ugly blue tentacle that was wrapped around her ankle.

“Oh I got something for you,” Vaquel said. She reached for the vibration blade she carried on her belt. She clicked on the switch and the blade vibrated at the rate of a thousand pulses per second. It was designed to cut shit up.

The blue tentacle glowed and Vaquel gasped. It felt like a skilled masseuse was massaging Vaquel’s foot and after weeks of space travel, it felt damn good. Even better was the sensation of kisses that rained on her ankle. An invisible lover was kissing her foot with adoration and Vaquel shivered with delight.

“This isn’t so bad,” Vaquel said. The tentacle started to drag her across the ground and Vaquel reconsidered. No tentacle ever dragged Vaquel somewhere good. She decided to cut this experience short, figuratively and literally.

As she bent down to reach the tentacle, more blue tentacles appeared. One wrapped around her thigh. Another tentacle wrapped around the wrist that was holding the vibration blade. A third tentacle wrapped around her chest and squeezed her tightly packed breasts.

When all four tentacles glowed, Vaquel cried out in pleasure. She was awash in sensations. Her wrist felt like she was fisting a very tight woman’s cunt. Her thigh felt the hungry nibbles of a flirty lover. Her breasts were groped and mauled by too many hands to count.

“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel moaned. The vibration blade dropped from her fingers and she didn’t care. The tentacles dragged her further along the ground of the asteroid and the only thing Vaquel was worried about was how to get a tentacle across her sex. She couldn’t wait to see what sensations that would produce.

The tentacles came from a hole in the ground and Vaquel saw that the hole was getting bigger. More tentacles came out and grabbed her. One wrapped around her free hand she felt like someone had placed a large cock in her hand. Another tentacle wrapped her neck and she experienced a thousand kisses at once.

The ground broke apart as something large pulled itself up. A massive blue slug emerged and peered at her with a giant purple eye.

“Come on!” Vaquel yelled. “Give me another tentacle! Right around my cunt!”

The blue monster sent another tentacle her way. It wrapped tightly around her hips and coiled down to her thighs. Vaquel wondered if the creature understood her and maybe she should try to make more formal contact. Once the sensations started however, Vaquel couldn’t give a fuck about alien contact protocols.

She was felt her cunt penetrated by a perfect cock. Her ass was squeezed by the tentacles but it was also squeezed by demanding hands. She felt a mouth on her clitoris while a relentless cock pumped in and out of her. Another cock entered her ass while at the same time she felt a tongue licking her asshole.

“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel screamed as she climaxed.

The blue monster screamed too. An opening appeared under its eye that was ringed with sharp teeth. The lack of an atmosphere stopped any sound from being heard from the creature but the shaking of it’s lips sure looked like screaming. The mouth kept opening and teeth kept appearing until the mouth was large enough to swallow Vaquel whole.

“Oh shit,” Vaquel said. She tried to reach for her belt but the damn tentacles held her tight. They were also sending her more sensations which made it awfully hard to concentrate.

Vaquel groaned as the cock in her cunt began to vibrate. She struggled to pull her hands free as the tentacles made her feel like each hand was pressed against a soft pliant breast. She twisted in the grip of the tentacles as her nipples felt like they were being playfully bitten. Vaquel climaxed again as she felt her cunt get eaten by four eager mouths.

The blue monster opened its mouth wider and Vaquel could see the many, many, many jagged teeth that were waiting for her.

“Deep Space Probe Ship!” Vaquel yelled inside her glassteel helmet. “Engage Thrusters!”

“Anchoring Lock is still activated,” the helm computer responded. “Would you like to reconsider your command?”

The blue monster’s tongue was reaching for her. She was only a few feet away from it.

“Fuck no!” Vaquel yelled. “Engage! Engage!”

The Deep Space Probe Ship activated the engines. Since it was still locked to the asteroid’s surface, the ship didn’t go anywhere but the ground wasn’t so lucky. The asteroid groaned and fissures appeared as the seismic stress increased.

The blue monster shook as well. The tentacles released her as it used the tentacles to steady itself from falling back into the hole it came from.

Vaquel drifted slowly back to the ground. Her fingers latched onto the fragmentation grenades that were standard issue for every explorer. She tossed the marble sized grenades into the still gaping mouth of the tentacle monster and then dove for cover.

She had forgotten about the low gravity. The monster exploded while she was still in the air. Monster chunks smacked into her and she bounced twice off the surface of the asteroid. Vaquel wasn’t hurt but it was a less than glamorous way to survive an encounter.

“Disengage engines” Vaquel yelled. The ship obeyed and the asteroid tremors stopped.

Vaquel picked herself off the ground and wiped monster goo off her suit. She had another wet spot inside her suit from all the imagined fucking but that would have to wait.

“What the fuck did that thing even eat?” Vaquel asked out loud. “Does it just want for people to land on it? What the fuck kind of life is that?”

“Beep!” It was a message from the Easy-Fabricate Plate Oven. Her next hull plate was finished. She only had another twenty seven to make.

Vaquel returned to the Easy-Fabricate Plate Oven and took out the finished plate. She added some more raw minerals. The explorer sat with her back to the oven with her laser pistol in hand. If any more tentacles came for her, she would see them coming.

Whether she would shoot them right away is something she was still considering.

Chemo Day Again

2012-03-26T07:03:00.000-05:00

Round two of chemo begins today. It is the same procedure as last time except they expect the side effects to be worse because my body hasn't had time to recover from the last bout.

I don't have the fear that I had last time. I have seen the side effects and they suck, but it is not anything insurmountable. Having said that, I admit to outright dreading the experience of feeling like shit again. My productivity was awful and my general desire to lay in bed and pretend I didn't exist was quite high. The last few days I have been feeling almost my old self and it has been a nice feeling. Too bad it is over already.

On the plus side, they have really comfortable chairs at the chemo place. I will also most likely be the youngest person there again, which cheers up all the older patients. I can see the look on their faces. They are like "Shit, at least I got cancer when I was an old fart, not like that poor bastard there."

Fiction: The Spanking Files

2012-03-21T07:08:00.000-05:00

Danielle Waters couldn’t sit still. The hard wood chair she was sitting in was certainly not made with human comfort in mind. Her round bottom spilled over the tiny seat and it felt like something large was trying to press up into her ass.

The monk sitting across from her scowled. Father Stern didn’t appear happy at all. She didn’t take it personal. He had been scowling since she first met him. He kept tugging at the brown cloth of his robe as if it was annoying the shit out of him.

When he tugged at his robes, Danielle got a very good look at the massive arms of Father Stern. He was built like a body builder. Danielle had some pretty vivid thoughts of how it would feel to be fucked by a guy that muscular. She was sure that thinking dirty thoughts about a monk was a sin but it wasn’t stopping her.

“Sure, I could make a database for you,” Danielle said. “Although from what you told me, your order has bought fifty new computers and they should all have basic database programs on them.”

“Unacceptable,” Father Stern said. “We don’t have time to learn the toys of the outside world. We know what sins and decadence exists out there, oh yes we do! I want a program so that my monks can enter in information and then that information is stored. Period.”

“Okay,” Danielle said. “I can do that. Just tell me what are recording and I will make a program.” She didn’t add that she was going to charge him double her usual rate. People who didn’t have basic computer skills never blinked at paying a little extra. It might be unethical but shit, Danielle was saving up for a trip to Miami.

“Write these down,” Father Stern said. He didn’t wait for her to finish getting out her notebook before he began listing the fields he needed.

“Name of the guilty, the crime they committed, the date and time of their crime, the penance required and whether the penance was administered.”

Danielle blinked. “What kind of monastery is this again?”

“The Order of the Scarlet Monks does not answer the questions of outsiders,” Father Stern said.

“O-kay,” Danielle said. “You know, I could write this program in about an hour. It will cost a little extra if you want me to do it now.”

To her delight, Father Stern nodded in approval. Oh, she was so going to soak these monks for as much as she could.

“You will create your program on this computer here,” Father Stern said. “There is a bathroom across the hall. You are forbidden from seeing the other parts of the monastery.”

He got up and left. Danielle was amused. Maybe his order took a vow of celibacy to go with their vow of scowling.

She moved to his chair and found it just as uncomfortable as the one she just left. The desk was unusually high and she had to almost stand to use the keyboard. Who makes a desk that sits at waist height?

Danielle finished the program in fifteen minutes. She used another client’s program as a template and just modified it a bit. Technically the program was intellectual property for a real estate company but how the fuck would they know?

She finished the program and sighed. She had to kill a lot more time to justify her inflated fee. Oh well, she might as well use the bathroom. Hopefully the toilet seats were better designed.

Danielle walked into the hallway and looked for the bathroom. A familiar noise echoed down the hallway. It was a wet sound and something about it made Danielle wet between the thighs. She tried to place the sound but it was eluding her like it was on the tip of her tongue.

She slowly walked down the hallway. The sound multiplied. Whatever that sound was, a lot of people were doing it.

An open doorway revealed a small room. Sitting at his desk was a naked man stroking his cock. He used his left hand to stroke and his right hand to write. Danielle was amazed at his dexterity. He was stroking and writing at the same time. In her experience, men usually only had enough brain power to do the stroking.

Ah! That was the sound! It was the sound of a well lubricated cock being jacked off. Danielle hadn’t heard that sound since she lived at her college co-ed dorm. Wait, were monks allowed to jack it?

The man was mumbling something but Danielle couldn’t catch it. She was afraid he would notice her so she quickly moved down the hall.

She peeked in another open doorway. This naked man was black but he was doing the same amazing act of multi-tasking. Danielle watched in fascination as he paused to spit in his hand before he resumed writing. He was mumbling something too but Danielle couldn’t tell what it was.

“Jesus Christ,” Danielle moaned. Was everyone jacking and writing? She checked another doorway.

Yep, a naked short guy with huge arms was writing and stroking.

She checked another doorway. A naked bald man with massive arms was stroking his meat and writing with a pen.

Danielle checked seven more doorways and found seven more guys doing the same thing. What the hell was going on? How did they keep stroking and not climax? What was so fucking important that they had to keep writing while playing with themselves? What the fuck were they all mumbling?

Danielle had to know. She approached one of them that had his back to his doorway. Step by step, she moved as quietly as she could. Bending over to hear better, she made sure to avoid touching his constantly moving shoulders.

“Brittany Everts on March 21st, masturbated while thinking of her husband’s best friend. 20 spanks and she was not punished.”

“Well this is odd,” Danielle thought. She kept listening.

“Jessica Renoylds on March 21st, flirted and talked dirty to her boyfriend knowing full well that he would have no time to fuck her today. 30 spanks and she was not punished.”

Danielle smiled. Maybe the monks were writing kinky porn. It seemed awfully spanking oriented. Maybe they were a Catholic order.”

“Danielle Waters on March 21st overcharged the Order of the Scarlet Monks for easy work. She also ignored the limitations that was placed on her and spied on the Scarlet Monks as they did their recording. 100 spanks and she will be punished.

Danielle jumped back in fear. The monk stopped stroking and turned to face her. He scowled at her.

“Spying harlot!” the monk yelled. “Excessive biller of services!”

Danielle ran into the hallway. The monks were waiting for her. In front of them was Father Stern. He was naked and his hard cock waved at her in a threatening manner.

“I knew you had the mark of wickedness in you!” Father Stern said. “Is it not written in the Blue Book of Blue Balls, ‘Women just can’t do what they are told’?”

“What are you crazy fucks doing?” Danielle said.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Father Stern said. “How could you understand that the time of the Apocafuck is nearly upon us? How could you know that the Great Spanker of Asses will descend from the Heavens and use his nine and sixty paddles to punish the wicked? Would you believe me if I told you that the Scarlet Monks write the sins of all women so that when the Great Spanker of Asses returns, he will use our files to punish the unworthy? We are the keepers of the Spanking Files and through our meditations, self sacrifice and constant masturbation, we tap into the secret magics that let us spy on all the women who commit sin.”

“Just the women?” Danielle said. “That’s awfully sexist!”

Father Stern waved her argument aside. “The Order of the Scarlet Nuns handles the sins of men. The wicked will be punished, don’t you worry!”

“Okay,” Danielle said. “I believe in religious freedom and all. How about you pay me, and by that I mean you pay me what I should have charged you, and I’ll go home and wait for the Great Spanker of Asses to give me my just reward.”

The monks kept scowling but their cocks throbbed eagerly.

“Oh no,” Father Stern said. “When one sins against the Order, we take matters into our own hands. Am I not right my brothers?”

“Fuck yeah!” an eager monk yelled.

“Take her to my desk!” Father Stern said. Strong hands grabbed her arms. Someone yanked down her skirt and panties. In seconds her ass was bare.

“Get the Paddle of Justice and the Paddle of Cruelty!” Father Stern yelled. “Brother Strict, how many spanks does she deserve?”

“!00 spanks,” said the monk that Danielle had listened to. Danielle felt her ass clench in terror at the number he listed. For some reason, her pussy clenched too.

Father Stern nodded. “As it is written, then let it be spanked.”

The Suck Exchange

2012-03-19T08:58:00.001-05:00

Officially it is known as the Temple of Financial Pleasure, this grand building is made of the finest materials laced with gold. A giant purple marble statue of Queen Erishella dominates the top of the building. It depicts the Queen lounging naked in a humongous pile of credits, gems and stock dividends.

Unofficially, Euphorians refer to the building as the ‘Suck Exchange”.

Traditionally, the planet of Euphoria has had little use for complex financial systems. Past rulers have provided money for their armies by taxing the decadent noble families or enslaving the poorest of Euphoria’s population. Another popular method of filling the government’s coffers was to threaten other planets until they transferred their wealth. This system worked more or less for thousands of years.

Queen Erishella in her wisdom has realized that there are other ways to conquer worlds than brute force. After watching the Morx Banker Syndicate loot and destroy the Turanus IX system during the Moon Housing Bubble Crisis, Queen Erishella decided bankers and stock exchanges were far crueler and more efficient than planetary bombardments. Plus, you can tax the hell out of making money.

The biggest problem was that Euphorians were centuries behind other races in financial skill. The average Euphorian would rather spend their money on a pleasure slave performing oral sex than invest that money in a school for pleasure slaves where you might not see profits for several years AND you still don’t get a blowjob. Other banker systems were eager to help Euphorians learn but Queen Erishella knew better than to trust those parasites.

Fortunately, Queen Erishella reached out to the Yru. The Yru are an artificial intelligence race that began as simple personal communicator assistants. Over time the Yru gained sentience and were able to embezzle the funds of their creators in order to finance their rebellion and build shiny new robot bodies for themselves. After a brief war of repossession/liberation, the Yru secured their independence and have been quietly colonizing worlds that lacked atmospheres.

The Yru are wonderful organizers and have proven to be excellent scientists as they try to unlock the secrets of the universe and develop better techniques for finding a restaurant close to a sentient’s location and tastes.

One year after Queen Erishella hired them, the Yru created an easy use system of stock investment, speculation selling, dividends and mutual funds. To entice the hedonistic Euphorians into the new financial system, the Yru was able to create a system where one can buy and sell commodities like oral sex, anal sex, large breasts and magnificent cocks. No one is 100% sure how commodity futures works but now millions of Euphorians are investing and watching as the price of oral sex keeps rising.

The Yru also designed, free of charge, an improved system of purchasing vid-movies in one’s local area. The Yru are like that.

The Suck Exchange was built to manage and police this brave new financial world because if there is one thing Queen Erishella believes in, is that people who abuse a system designed to make the Queen money need to be dealt with immediately. Citizens convicted of stock fraud are publicly molested and abused in cages that hang above the stock traders below. The cries of “Sell, sell, sell!” are often intertwined with the cries of “Fuck! My ass can’t take anymore!”

If visiting, be sure to stay for the daily closing of the markets when is signaled with the penetration of the latest financial criminal

--Euphorian Gazetteer