I used to gaze into the deep
blue swell,
shivering cold, yet
strangely unaware,
I could have stood for days…

I used to wonder when my
bare body would fall,
leaving this northern cliff,
tumbling, spiralling
into the depths of the
deep blue swell.

I used to dream
of the day I’d let go
become immersed and
sink, sink sink…

Into the deep blue swell.

The burning glows,
a ravishing fire
bound for miles…

The seas swell,
preparing to roar
begging to crash on the shoreline…

Here I stand, ready to soar,
into your heart,
bound for your arms,
begging to fall.

Is it real?
this change between
you and I;

is it real?

Is it my imagination?
playing games
with my heart.

Is it real?

Is it magic?
my burning feelings
for you.

Are they real?
Do you feel them too?

rewind and hit play,
blow the dust away
let us dance, dance dance
the night away.

sing sweet lullaby’s gently into my ear
let your warm honey breath
wash wash wash over my skin
as we dance to our
old melody.

just you and I
while our song plays on,
just you and I
until our song ends.

Our hands entwine,
laced and knotted
tied shoe laces
our hands become.

My body softens,
honey from a bee’s hive,
melting chocolate under sunny rays
as leaning into you,
I ooze from within.

Our bodies kiss,
blooming spring flowers
bursting from winter soil
as each touch deepens
we flourish and ignite.

My worries haunt me,
ghosts of my past dance before my eyes,
trapping me in my own dismal alleyway
afraid to face daylight,
to face my silent fears.

My fearless thoughts prod me,
their honesty, alarming
as black and white as the moon and night sky,
cut throat, steadfast and unshakeable
tall, fearless, wise like an old oak tree.

My head spins as I torture myself,
fighting with two sides of myself,
teasing my fears into line,
pleading with my inner spirit
hoping to find reason.

To find peace.

I’m afraid of the in between,
the happy, carefree moments;

I’m afraid of the attachment,
the place you will fill;

I’m afraid of the end,
the impact of touch down;

I’m afraid to lose control,
afraid I will surely fall.

Afraid I will surely fall…

The walls are falling…

My heart is longing,
gentle, subtle, secretly yearning,
my thoughts are wandering,
wandering into forbidden passageways.

The walls are falling…

I am melting,
melting in your gaze,
like honey under the sun’s gaze,
chocolate baking in an oven.

I am melting…
the walls are falling,
I am trapped,
a fly stuck in honey.

Falling, melting, wanting;
I am falling, melting… wanting;

waiting, yearning, falling for you.

Do you sometimes stare out
into the wild storms and
hope the wind will whisk your pain away
do you often hope the storm will
drown out your cries and heartbreaking
pleas to God

Do you stare out of your window
and will yourself to see more than
empty darkness …
and do you wonder whether it’s silly to feel isolated
and so completely lost …

And do you sometimes beg for
God to hear your prayers
do you sometimes lie awake at night
willing yourself to stay awake
just so you can pray…
and pray your prayer will be heard.

Because I do.

More often I’m left behind,
forgotten and uncaught
wishing the heavy hands of time
would whisk me away,
closing my weary eyelids
with relief.

Sometimes I fight the alluring hands,
desiring to stay standing still,
watching the world live and breathe,
I long to see more in the minutes that pass,
hoping to find answers
before I’m captured by dreaded hands.