Essentii

Having a Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:53:00 +0000

It's that time of year when we all seem to start off with lots of New Year resolutions and come the end of the month some of the enthusiasm starts to dwindle and achieving our aims suddenly seems a long way off.

Well how about doing things a little differently this year. Instead of worrying about lots of new resolutions how about remembering what you did really well last year and plan to continue doing more of it this year. We often get caught up in having to do things differently and yet it's important to make sure we keep doing the things that have worked and will continue to work.

Why don't you take a moment to think about 3 things you did last year that really delivered results for you in your business. Write them down, what were they, why did they work, how did you do them, what other situations could you use that type of thinking in?

When you know what has worked for you in the past and how you did it then you can start to think about what you want to achieve this year. Starting from a positive place of already knowing you can deliver results.

Then you can start to think about want you want as your challenge for this year. Have you made it a balanced challenge - is the outcome you want to achieve challenging enough to keep you interested and realistic enough to be achieved?

Along the way how will you know you are getting there, what are the smaller goals that will deliver the big one, if you know the small steps you can recognise them as you go and tick them off. Then it's a case of thinking through what might get in the way of achieving your outcome, if you think about this now and how you will overcome some of the issues then when and if they do appear you can say to yourself - 'I thought that might happen and here's my plan to deal with it' thereby making what might have seemed an insurmountable wall, just a brick to step over as you continue on your path

So plan your year and outcomes remembering to keep what you have learned with you, live in the present and plan for your future. I'll leave you with some quotes

He who fails to plan, plans to fail - Proverb

Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now - Alan Lakein

Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets with planning - Thomas Edison

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe - Anatole France

Good plans shape good decisions. That's why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true. - Anon

Ice The Cake - The InCREDIBLE Wedding Supplier of the Year Awards

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:07:00 +0000

I was very proud to be asked to be a sponsor at the Ice the Cake The InCREDIBLE Wedding Supplier of the Year Awards and yesterday we had the event with all the finalists.

One of the things I love about my work is being able to meet and work with people who are passionate about what they do and how they do it. In the room yesterday were people who have made their work about creating and supporting couples on their most special day - their Wedding Day.

There was a wonderful energy and buzz all day as people celebrated their achievements and recognition from their clients and each other and there was much fun, laughter and a few emotional moments.

I for one enjoyed myself immensely and my only regret was that I didn't get to talk to everyone in the room. I was given time to tell a story (which is below) as I wanted everyone to recognise what they bring to their business and hope that they left knowing what they wanted their badge to say (that will make sense once you've read the story!)

I've also attached some pictures of the day - those that know me may be surprised to see that a) I'm not wearing a hat and b) I'm actually in a dress - don't worry normal service has been resumed today!

I am going to list all the categories, winners and highly commended finalists as I think they all deserve a mention and they were:-

Most Supportive Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - Claire Ogden Designs

Highly Commended - Your Wedding at Loch Lomond and Danby Castle Events

Most Professional Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - L.O.V.E. Bouquets

Highly Commended - Absolutely Divine Cupcakes and Lomond Beauty

Best on the day Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - Eclipse Photography

Highly Commended - Beauty Weddings and Emma Lucy Photography

Most Beautifully Bespoke 2011

Winner - Kathryn Deeley Wedding Stationary

Highly Commended - CakeyPigg Originals and Flutterby Couture

Most Innovative Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - Clevercow Cakes

Highly Commended - My Little Wrapper Chocolate Bars and Zankyou

Most Inspirational Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - Cedar Events

Highly Commended - Something Special Flowers and Cerendipity Events

Most Entertaining Wedding Supplier 2011

Winner - Stick It On Wedding Services

Highly Commended - Creation Station and Timothy Lee Toastmaster

Special Recognition Awards 2011

Kate Lewis Design

My Little Wrapper Chocolate Bars

Sponsors Choice Awards 2011

CakeyPigg Originals

The 'Credible and Incredible' Wedding Supplier of the Year 2011

L.O.V.E. Bouquets

Congratulations to everyone!!

So the story I told...

The Gardener's Badge - Author unknown!

A landscape gardener ran a business that had been in the family for two or three generations. The staff were happy, and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the staff work on their gardens or make deliveries - anything from bedding plants to ride-on mowers.

For as long as anyone could remember, the current owner and previous generations of owners were extremely positive happy people.

Most folk assumed it was because they ran a successful business.

In fact it was the other way around...

A tradition in the business was that the owner always wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great!

The business was indeed generally great, although it went through tough times like any other. What never changed however was the owner's attitude, and the badge saying Business Is Great!

Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably asked, "What's so great about business?" Sometimes people would also comment that their own business was miserable, or even that they personally were miserable or stressed.

Anyhow, the Business Is Great! badge always tended to start a conversation, which typically involved the owner talking about lots of positive aspects of business and work, for example:

• the pleasure of meeting and talking with different people every day

• the reward that comes from helping staff take on new challenges and experiences

• the fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work environment

• the fascination in the work itself, and in the other people's work and businesses

• the great feeling when you finish a job and do it to the best of your capabilities

• the new things you learn every day - even without looking to do so

• and the thought that everyone in business is blessed - because there are many millions of people who would swap their own situation to have the same opportunities of doing a productive meaningful job, in a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real worries.

And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a person was, they'd usually end up feeling a lot happier after just a couple of minutes listening to all this infectious enthusiasm and positivity.

It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this, but to one extent or another it's probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, on which point, if asked about the badge in a quiet moment, the business owner would confide:

"The badge came first. The great business followed."

A few special mentions as well for the following for all the work they put into making the event amazing.

Sue Page owner of Ice The Cake

Kate Seber of Seber Weddings and Events

Kate Lewis of Kate Lewis Designs

Ally Jones of My Little Wrapper Chocolate Bars

Natalie Trice of TallyPR and Sponsor

Leigh Quinnel of Leigh Quinnel Photography

Frank Miller of Frank Miller Photography and Videography

Jamie Page of Specialist Cars, Tring and Sponsor

and so to the photos!

The Winners

The Finalists

Me with Kate Seber (centre) and Sue Page (right)

L.O.V.E. Bouquets - Overall Winners

Sponsors Choice Award with Natalie Trice (left) and the Winner CakeyPigg Originals (centre) and Me.

Me with Timothy Lee Toastmaster

Me with Stick it on Wedding Services

Me with Emma Lucy Photography

Me with Beauty Weddings

Me talking!

Me talking some more!

Me with the other Sponsors Jamie Page from Specialist Cars, Tring and Natalie Trice from TallyPR

Do you take a break?

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 16:59:00 +0000

I found this article from the BBC first published in June 2010 and thought that as people are feeling the pressure and strain more, how many more people are causing themselves problems and illness through not taking a break when at work. How much more healthier would we be and how often would we only have to do a task once if we did stop and take a break?

One in four 'works all day without break' – survey
BBC article – June 2010

One in four people in the UK often works all day without taking a break, a survey suggests.

More than half of the 3,000 people polled by the Chartered Society of Physiotherapists said they went to work when feeling unwell or stressed. Staff shortages were cited as a cause of stress and why breaks were skipped.

While work can contribute to people's mental and physical well-being, overworking can lead to health problems, the CSP warned.

Back pain
While a quarter of those polled took no lunch break at all, a third worked through most of theirs. Half of those who did so said it was because they had too much work to do, and a third because there were not enough staff to do the work required.

Working in the same position for long periods at a time meant many complained of physical pain. The CSP warned that poor working practices increased the risk of chronic musculoskeletal disorders, like back pain - one of the most common reasons for long-term sickness leave in the UK.

Stress was also an issue, with more than 40% feeling stressed at least once a week. For many of these people, staff shortages and a heavy workload were at the root of their anxiety.

Last year, the health watchdog NICE urged employers to do more to tackle stress and anxiety in the workplace.

Alarm bells
Sickness absence and "sickness presence", when staff come to work feeling unwell, is estimated to cost employers and society about £35bn each year in reduced productivity, sick pay and benefits. At least some of this could be recouped through healthier working practices and helping employees access treatment for musculoskeletal disorders, the CSP said.

"Work is good for us and can contribute to our physical and mental well-being - but not when overworking means people don't have the time or energy to look after their own health or when staff are at work but not fit for work," said Ann Green, chairman of the CSP.

Ben Willmott, of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, said: "These findings should ring alarm bells for employers.

"A certain level of pressure at work is of course desirable. However when the pressure people face exceeds their ability to cope - in other words stress - it is likely to lead to time off work and is linked to conditions such as depression, anxiety and heart disease."

What are your thoughts, do you work through your breaks and if so why? I would love to hear from you!

Top Tips for planning your Wedding Day

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:24:00 +0000

I was recently asked to present at Ice the Cake's Wedding Fayre in Thame as to what my top tips were for starting to plan your Wedding Day. So I thought I would share them on here...

1. Spirit of the day
Together you need to think about the feel and spirit you want for the day. Build a movie of it in your mind, what can you see, hear and feel. This will help you be clear about what you want in the day and what you don’t want.

When you know this then you can start to talk to your wedding planner and suppliers and they can get a clear vision of the day as well

2. Know your budget
Be really clear about how much you have to spend and what the main areas are you want to spend it on. Have a 10% contingency for those unknown ‘must haves’
Remember to include the cost of your Stag and Hen do’s.
If other people are putting money in be clear about how much and let them know what it’s specifically going towards.

3. Relationship with Suppliers
Take time to build your relationship with your suppliers – give them the vision of your day so they can deliver it. Become their favourite client

4. Sticking Points
If you have a sticking point ask yourself and each other ‘What’s important about having/not having that?’ Keep in mind your vision and spirit of the day – does it add to it or take away from it.

5. Your decisions
Everyone’s got an opinion – listen to it, say thank you and then decide what you want to do. If you’ve got someone that can’t leave it alone then it can help to give them a specific job to do.

6. What skills are in the bag
Look at the resources you have available to you – not just money, what skills do friends and family have that you can utilise – what are your skills – Table decorations, dress making

7. Big Stuff First
Plan the big stuff first – no point in worrying about what colour nail polish to have if you’ve not sorted out the venue!

8. The Team
Have a team around you of family, friends and suppliers that want to deliver the day you want and will support you.

9. Wedding Free time
Have time out with each other that has nothing to do with planning, organising or even thinking about the wedding.

10. Remember 1
Stay strong as the day approaches, emotions can start to run high and you may start to second guess yourself - keep in mind your vision of the day and let that guide you.

How could a coach help?

A coach will help you with all of the above and how you start the planning and being really clear about your day. There are also many techniques you can use to help you manage family and friends as everyone wants to play their part in your day. A coach can help with preparing the people that are writing and delivering the speeches and help the bridal party be at their best and relaxed in order to have an amazing and enjoyable day.

The Essentii Club launch

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:47:00 +0000

Well what a week it's been. After months of work in getting the strategy right, planning and writing the website, setting up the members only areas and testing it all launch day finally came!

I had chosen the 4th July - mostly because I would have been back from holiday for a week and it seemed like a good start day. I already have some clients who had signed up early and are already benefiting from being part of the club.

So why set up a new part of the business.... I wanted to focus on whole health - mind, body and spirit, not just one aspect or area of someone's life. I felt this was missing, people might think about their fitness or the eating habits or wonder why they feel fed up often and I wanted to offer a way of taking all that we do (or don't do) into account. The focus is about finding balance in all aspects of our lives and not about being perfect. It is about learning from what we do and understanding how we do it, in order to keep what does work and change what doesn't work.

Within this I thought of 3 main areas were this could be most beneficial.

Business Owners - Having happy healthy employees provides positive benefits to the company - less sickness, less stress, less time off = more productivity and employees benefit in their health and fitness both physically and mentally.

Sports Groups and Sporting Individuals - From team work to individual coaching, help getting to the next level in their sport and perform at their best more regularly - learn techniques used by top athletes in all areas of sport.

Individuals - Be in control of their weight management and fitness levels. Find the focus they need to achieve your outcomes.

This then brings together all my passions around enjoying life, getting fit and having fun! This first week has been great and winning Highly Commended for Business Strategy 2011 before officially launching was the icing on the cake and I'm looking forward to a great year!

Essentii wins first Business Award!!

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 13:43:00 +0000

Highly Commended for Business Strategy Award 2011.

I am delighted that Essentii has received it's first Business Award.

I had put the business forward for the Business Beacon Business Strategy Award 2011 for the strategy in setting up a new arm of the business - The Essentii Club (launched on 4th July 2011). I knew I had been short listed and attended the awards ceremony on the 30th June and I was so pleased to receive Highly Commended for Business Strategy Award 2011.

Made all the work over the last few months very worth it!

What the 7/38/55 communication rule really means

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 15:58:00 +0000

I have read many books and articles on communication and how it works and in many of them they quote the work by Albert Mehrabian and the 7/38/55 rule on communication. A lot of them state that in ALL communication these figures mean

7% of our communication is the words we use
38% of our communication is the tone we use
55% of our communication is in the non verbal (physiology)

NO THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY MEAN – sorry for shouting but in the words of Peter Griffin (Family Guy) this ‘really grinds my gears’. The research by Mehrabian was around how we communicate feelings and attitudes only.

It is emphatically not the case that non-verbal elements in all senses convey the bulk of the message. So what do the figures mean….

An example of when we are communicating feelings and attitudes could be

• Verbal: "I'm Ok with that"
• Non-verbal: person avoids eye-contact, looks anxious, has turned away slightly, etc.

It becomes more likely that the receiver will trust the predominant form of communication, which to Mehrabian's findings is non-verbal (38% + 55%), rather than the literal meaning of the words (7%).

An example of when the words are 100% of the message

• You are at work when the fire officer comes into the room and shouts "Everyone evacuate the building because there is a fire," I would suggest the meaning of the words carries 100% of the message i.e., 1) there is a fire, and 2) get out of here. You are very unlikely to be worrying about the tone of voice and physiology of the person issuing the instructions and are more likely to grab your stuff (despite being told on numerous occasions not to) and get out. You'd get the message fully through the words without having to be an expert in body language to unravel the meaning.

The value of understanding the 7/38/55 rule relates to communications where emotional content is significant, and the need to understand it properly is great.

OK rant over!! What are your thoughts?

What's the opposite of guilty?

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:19:00 +0000

I was recently asked a great question ‘What’s the opposite of Guilty?’ I immediately took the context to mean when I feel guilty about something what’s the opposite of that – after a bit of thinking I came up with Contentment – which didn’t really feel quite right and encompassed a lot of other feelings, happy with my decisions, knowing I was doing the right thing, understanding why I was doing what I was doing.

Then the question put to me was ‘isn’t innocence the opposite of guilt?’. Which I couldn’t disagree with and it got me thinking about the difference between being guilty and feeling guilty. The first one could be said to be quite simple – in a court of law it works that you are either one or the other. However, being that us Human beings are complicated creatures, all that changes when we start thinking about how we feel. How often have you gone through a customs check, knowing that you’ve not gone over any limits and yet still walk through feeling guilty!

Feeling guilty can come about when we start living by our should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t rules which normally means we are looking for someone or something to blame for what is happening, or not happening, around us. As with all our feelings they are manifested by us, we choose how we want to feel, so why would we want to choose to feel guilty if it’s not useful to us?

I think the first part of changing how we feel is to take responsibility for our own actions and understand that in each moment we make the decision and act in a way that feels right in that moment – we may learn afterwards that it wasn’t the best decision and we can decide to do things differently in future, surely this is all about us growing as individuals and blaming ourselves or others will only keep us in the same place – is that useful?

So the next time you feel guilty about something, what are you going to do to change how you feel, what feeling would be more useful to you?

And good luck next time you wander through customs!

Expectation Vs Ability

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 09:48:00 +0000

There are those times that we raise our expectations and then realised we perhaps don’t have quite the ability to get our outcome and we then know what we need to do, learn or work on to achieve that outcome. Well what happens when it works the other way round.

I was racing the other day when my brain was telling me what I was capable of and the minutes per mile I should be running. Training had been going well and I was going to feel happy to keep an even pace throughout the 10 miles. Well one mile in and I’m feeling good and check the time and I’m nearly a minute quicker than I was planning. ‘Oh dear – I’d better slow down or I’ll never last!’ So slow down I did, or so I thought and the next mile was a few seconds quicker again. I felt fine and yet over the next 3 more miles I continually told myself to slow down and that I would never last the distance, and yet I stayed within a couple of seconds time on each mile. I was supposed to be doing the first half slowly and seeing what I had left for the next couple of miles before upping the pace for the last couple.

But ability had other ideas and decided it didn’t care what expectation thought it was going to run as it felt – not following a timetable and I decided a change of plan was needed and I would reverse what I was going to do and run the first half quicker and then I could slow up in the second half and still hit my expectations….. Ability had a good giggle at this and continued to run as it felt. At around mile 6 I decided it would be more helpful to stop arguing between expectation and ability – I could put the energy I was using up to much better use!
And so I continued on and enjoyed the fact that I was running better than I expected and congratulated myself on an excellent training plan for this year as taking it slowly and building back up from injury was most definitely working. I crossed the line about 9 minutes quicker than expected.

One Nil to Ability!

A few days later was the first cross country race of the season and having run all three days from the race above to this one I was looking to run evenly and easily – and obviously expectation was putting some limits in - did my legs still feel heavy from the previous race? Had I recovered enough? Should I have run each day since…...? Luckily for me ability had an ally in that my friend Becs was running alongside (normally much faster and had done 20 miles the day before in preparation for the New York Marathon) and kept me going all the way round and I finished again much quicker than I expected especially for a cross country. So the stamina is there to keep going even on tired heavy legs and we even had enough for a sprint finish!!

Two Nil to Ability…..

My question now is how often do we let expectation talk ability out of performing and what would we achieve if we gave ability a free reign?

Best explanation of the offside rule for those who prefer shopping to football!!

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 09:21:00 +0000

Thank you to Corrine O’B for this piece of brilliance

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

A great reminder to speak to someone in a language they understand!!

Moving on.....

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Thu, 20 May 2010 09:48:00 +0000

An update…. Well running is still slow as I build up again, my body isn’t working at it’s best (having some tests at the Docs) and hoping that if I can get through the next few weeks then when I am back on form there will be a good jump in my stamina and speed….. here’s hoping……

I have to admit I did chicken out of running the St Albans 10K as I knew it would be a personal worst and decided to have an extra glass of wine the night before instead of running. My head just wasn’t ready to accept what the time might have been.

So moving forward I have signed up for the NSPCC Milton Keynes half Marathon in July which has given me some structure to my training and in July I will be running the Marston 5K which is run by my running club (Ampthill & Flitwick Flyers) a good flat race and one I have decided will be a jog round. At the end of June I’ve also signed up for the Thame 10K with another runner and so this one I will not be able to chicken out of as we will go together – strategy in place having learned after not running St Albans.

I have signed up for the Park Runs which are on a Saturday, free, 5K runs no pressure. I did sign up in March and haven’t got to one yet! Still they are in the diary and are now part of my cunning plan…..

What do you want?

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:12:00 +0000

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."
- Ben Stein
Actor, writer, commentator, lawyer, teacher, humorist

How often do we wait for things to happen, wait for someone else to do something, wait to see what’s happening around us before we make a decision?

How many opportunities have we lost because we haven’t thought about what we want out of life, like a ship that sets sail without a destination in mind – it will get somewhere but where is a whole different matter.

One of the fundamentals in NLP is knowing your outcome, knowing what you want – this can range from getting your weekly food shop to changing the direction of your life – and everything in between!

So you have decided what you want, what next….. make it real, really step into it, go into the future and see what’s happening around you, what are you doing, what are other people doing, what are you saying to yourself and others, how do you feel?

By being really clear about what we want means we can start to see all the opportunities around us to make it happen. I have a friend who people call 'lucky', he always seems to land on his feet, even when things around him seem to be going wrong, or not going in the direction he wants to go – by keeping in mind what he wants he can stay open to opportunities around him as they happen and take those that, at first glance, may not be a direct path, but will be a step in the right direction.

How do I use this, well, you can see me put this into practice very specifically in my first running blog.

So what do you want at work, at home, with friends and colleagues, for the short term, for the long term and what are you going to do to start making it happen?

As a final note, if you’ve made a decision as to what you want and as you get towards it you realise that perhaps it’s not what you thought it was or what you really want then stop, re-think it and then go for it – you want to follow a path that takes you where you want to go. Be careful of following a path through stubborness!!

Going back to basics

noreply@blogger.com (Essentii) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:11:00 +0000

Over the last year because of injury my running stopped being fun and started to become a chore – not very motivating! Because of this I went down from training about 5 days a week to about 5 days a month (unfortunately I didn’t change my eating habits!)

I decided to step back and rethink my outcome – what did I want to get from running…..

I wanted to be outside and enjoying the different seasons, I wanted to get fit, I want to fulfil my potential as a runner (not that of an Olympic athlete, but to my full potential!) I started to imagine what that would be like and how I would know I’ve got there – so for me to achieve my outcome this year would be to run the Bedford half Marathon in December in a personal best for that course. I can see myself, running smoothly, relaxed and enjoying the feeling of achieving a good time for me and hearing the cheers of my running friends as I cross the line!

A plan for the year was required – spurned on by three runs without any pain I decided I was ready to put a plan of action together and split the year into three areas – building stamina, building speed, racing the distance.

Building stamina – March to June

This means that for the next few months I am concentrating on building up the number of runs and training sessions I do with my running club (Ampthill & Flitwick Flyers) and slowly build up my long run at the weekend. During this time I am concentrating on building up stamina and running for longer. I have put in for two races – the St Albans 10K in May and the Marston 5K in June which are going to give me some benchmarks for the summer training. At the club we also have a 5K time trail in April and so this will let me know where I am in reality, rather than where I think I am or where I would like to be! During this time I need to be aware of not doing too much too quickly and re-injuring myself.

Building speed – July to September

Now this is when I want to concentrate on building up my speed, coming from a base of stamina and because of the slow build up still being injury free! I am hoping for a lovely hot summer, which means I will need to get out early in the day as heat is not my best friend when running. During this time I will pick out some 10K and 5K races so I can see how I am doing – this is not just about times getting quicker, it is also about how I feel after, heart rate recovery and how quickly my body recovers ready for the next run.

Getting ready for the Half Marathon – October to December

Bringing all this training together for the longer Autumn runs – specifically the Swineshead 10 Mile in September – to give me a benchmark over a longer distance and I then know what I need to do to get my goal for my December half marathon.

So here I start – I now know my outcome for the year and the milestones I want to achieve along the way and some of the hazards that could trip me up!