tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819Fri, 09 Jan 2026 05:07:40 +0000ManuelThailandIraqulcoDelhiindiaNikBangkokankitFriendsParisamsterdamchristinahermeslifemadonnamarcopierrestephenACChristmasJoeMACMyanmarPVRSevillaanjaliannbloggingdaniellefacebooklouis vuittonmtvoberoirelationshipssarah palinsex and the cityvanity fair20th Century FoxAfricaAgraAgra FortAlhambraAlmonteAmerican IdolsAmritsarAyuthayaBaristaBotoxBrene BrownBullfightBurj KhalifaChiang MaiCommercialDalai LamaDanny WallaceDavidDemi MooreDharamshalaDubaiEat Pray LoveEnvyFlamencoGoldilocksGretelGrey's AnatomyHanselHillaryHortonIstanbulJaipurJoan RiversJulia RobertsKevin McCallisterKo SametLacroixLittle Red Riding HoodMakeoverMcLeod GanjMother GooseMyawaddiObamaParamountPatpongPattayaPaulaPenelopePrachuabkhirikhanPrince CaspianRapunzelSelect CitywalkSimonSnow WhiteSpainSteve IrwinSukhothaiTaj MahalTaksimTom FordTurkeyTyraZanzibarabdulair conditionerairportalphabetaquaarleenaussie bumbeverly hillsbimboblogboobsboysbreathlessbreebrusselscamelscanneschanelcheatingcheetoschrisclaridgescosmetic surgerycowcrocodile huntercrystal skullscustomer servicedarwindatingdefence colonydepresseddepressiondiana rossdietdisneydisneylanddolceelephantelleeroticaeva longoriafalconfashion weekforbidden cityfredric baurfridaysgabbanaganeshgaultiergay marriagegay pridegenocidegh mummghost whisperergrammargrapefruitguccigufgurgaongymhaircuthedgehogheidi klumhopehospitaliittalaindiana jonesinfomercialjealousyjustify my lovelajpat nagarlast crusadelauraleiberlondonlouboutinluxury vagabondmalikmanolomarie clairemartha quinnmcdonaldsmcflurrymedicinemiss bimbomojitosmoment of truthmonacomonkeysmonksmonte carlomosesmurphy's lawnew yorknicenoolone stop shoppingoprahpamelaparadeparis hiltonpaul smithpeacockphotographyping pongpornpossibilitiespoulpradapringlesproctor and gambleproposition 8punctuationpuppyqueensraiders of the lost arkrajasthanrejectionrobbrobb selanderryan seacrestsame sex marriagesan franciscosarah jessica parkersecurityselandersexshakeelashamesmarter than a fifth gradersnap shotssockssouth beachspencers' hyperspiderstalkersubwaysummersuzytalula does the hula from hawaiitelevisiontemple of doomterror attacktgi fridaystiffany'stitantypoveuve cliquotvictoriavirginvisavoguevulnerabilityweapons of mass destructionweatherworkoutworld toilet dayyeshttp://rselander.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Robb)Blogger455125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-1629002856095368020Fri, 28 Nov 2025 21:06:00 +00002025-11-28T13:06:45.657-08:00Most people don't know this, but I went back to school about a year ago to pursue a degree in medical lab sciences. I kept it to myself until now, mainly because I had no idea how it would go or how I would adapt to the study, paper, and exam routine. It turns out, I have adapted surprisingly well. After a year, my GPA is at 3.9. It would be 4.0, but I only got an 89% in precalculus. So far, the http://rselander.blogspot.com/2025/11/i-good-writing-becoming-crime.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-7055793700385263593Tue, 12 Nov 2024 20:52:00 +00002024-11-12T12:52:22.700-08:00 The election was a week ago today. And since then, I have been feeling depressed, scared, sad, and so many other emotions. I have spent the past few days checking in on some friends while avoiding others. I have also seen posts on social media from people who don’t understand our emotions. Well, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you my story and how this impacts me. When I was http://rselander.blogspot.com/2024/11/the-2024-election-and-me.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-5195543083136206967Fri, 15 May 2020 15:50:00 +00002020-05-15T08:50:34.052-07:00 A few weeks ago, the hearing in my left ear went down by 40 decibels. Adjusting to that has been challenging, especially as life starts moving from staying at home to venturing out into public spaces. At home, I have some control over the sounds in the house. If the washer is too loud for me, I can go to my room for some quiet. This past Monday, we went out to dinner for the first time since http://rselander.blogspot.com/2020/05/dizzy-blonde.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-1099185441398489288Sun, 03 May 2020 17:24:00 +00002020-05-03T10:24:53.889-07:00 I had always thought hearing loss would be a slow, gradual dialing down of the volume to an ever-increasing silence. That’s why, when I woke up last Saturday with loud ringing and pressure in my left ear, hearing loss was not even on my radar. I assumed it was sinus related. I’ve had horrific sinus issues for years, and six weeks ago, I had surgery to reconstruct my shattered septum, which http://rselander.blogspot.com/2020/05/my-newest-adventure.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-1150965658105324605Mon, 12 Feb 2018 22:35:00 +00002018-02-12T14:37:13.222-08:00 Last April, I was having allergy issues. I was on my way into work with a sore throat, cough and my sinuses feeling like an over-inflated balloon. I have had those attacks before and, knowing the process and progression, made an appointment with the doctor. It was during the drive to the doctor that I discovered the lump. It was tiny, in the soft part of my neck just under where the jawbone http://rselander.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-c-word.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-6024003948907630603Tue, 10 Oct 2017 02:42:00 +00002017-10-10T08:21:04.955-07:00 So yesterday, I got into an argument with someone about what is happening with rights here in America. Gay rights, women’s rights, etc., and I was basically shut down and told that this is America and rights don’t just get taken away. I was told this isn’t a Muslim country and it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen here. But here’s the thing… It is. Happening. Here. On Friday, October 6, Health http://rselander.blogspot.com/2017/10/vanishing-rights.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-2378697122690325207Sat, 18 Mar 2017 13:25:00 +00002017-03-18T07:25:56.405-07:00 My friends, family and anyone who reads this blog knows I have a challenging relationship with my mom. My mom is a person who, for whatever reason, has chosen to fill her life with anger and resentment. For the past thirty years, I have tried reasoning, arguing, pushing, distancing and incorporating every communication model and method I could get my hands on. Nothing changed except my levels http://rselander.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-long-goodbye.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-7338853683683094317Sun, 22 Jan 2017 03:43:00 +00002017-01-21T20:15:23.199-08:00 March 7, 2009. I wrote and published a blog post titled Just Say Yes.You can read the post for yourself if you like, but basically it was about the decision to say yes to possibilities. At some point, I moved away from saying yes and moved toward maybe or perhaps later. From there it was only a matter of time until I heard myself saying no and then later, I can’t. I have said I can’t so many http://rselander.blogspot.com/2017/01/saying-yes-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-8864902698629028298Sat, 12 Nov 2016 15:06:00 +00002016-11-12T07:07:01.057-08:00 The shock of the election results is slowly fading away and I find myself moving from a place of disbelief and disappointment to outright anger. I am not angry that Hillary lost, I am angry that Trump won. There are other republicans I wouldn’t have minded so much. I have watched this election bring out the worst in so many people. So many people I love and call family. I have tried to stay outhttp://rselander.blogspot.com/2016/11/my-reality.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-8515669742133033074Fri, 25 Mar 2016 15:35:00 +00002016-03-25T12:34:37.453-07:00 A few days ago, a dream of mine came true. After over a year of planning, conversations, preparation and dreaming, I was finally holding the first leadership workshop under my own company. I sat in the room, with a small group of people, all of whom had paid to be there for six weeks, two and a half hours each week, fifteen hours in total, and I was the person they were all looking to as the http://rselander.blogspot.com/2016/03/i-dont-belong-here.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-6784740870805067690Fri, 18 Dec 2015 20:03:00 +00002015-12-18T12:04:06.327-08:00 Life with Jack means seeing things through his eyes. It is sometimes easy for John and I to forget that he has gone through so much in his life, many things we will probably never know about. That means that Jack sees things differently than a lot of other children his age. John and I were confronted with that about two weeks ago. He loves music and so I decided to take my old iPhone and fill http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-different-view.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-7002639928133568562Fri, 11 Dec 2015 16:55:00 +00002015-12-18T12:04:22.795-08:00 Three weeks ago today, we met Jack and brought him home. I can’t think of a time I have been more nervous, scared, excited and happy. So many questions. What type of personality did he have? Would we like him? Would he like us? Would we get along? Would our lives fill up with drama and fights and power-struggles? Would he be mean to the dogs? Would he throw things and break them? Would he bond http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/12/three-weeks-with-jack.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-3787844710873802847Sat, 28 Nov 2015 04:34:00 +00002015-11-27T20:34:37.684-08:00 It has been a week since we met Jack and our lives have been turned upside-down, inside-out, pushed sideways and ties into knots, all in the best possible way. He has filled up an emptiness I didn’t realize was there. Yes, I wanted to be a dad, but I really didn’t expect it to be like this. It’s one of those things that now that I am in it, I don’t even remember what I expected. The house is http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/11/and-then-there-was-jack.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-4531612944980041455Tue, 11 Aug 2015 13:52:00 +00002015-08-11T06:53:01.374-07:00 Several years ago, I stumbled into the world of leadership development and coaching, thanks to my friend Sytske. A mutual friend of ours suggested we have a cup of coffee as Sytske wanted a bit of advice on her business and thought I might be able to help her a little. What was supposed to be just a cup of coffee, ended up changing my life and that change is still happening today. We ended up http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/08/a-new-journey.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-1869516930215310473Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:35:00 +00002015-07-21T10:11:16.729-07:00 I love it when people have opinions, thoughts and beliefs that are different from mine. I enjoy being able to have healthy conversations that explore the world around us while exchanging views, ideas and beliefs. Unfortunately, so many people are not interested in the conversation, they are interested in being right, having the one right view, the one right belief and have no interest in http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/07/time-for-change.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-2718294319634220905Mon, 11 May 2015 19:48:00 +00002015-05-11T12:49:06.473-07:00 Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I spent days debating with myself whether or not I should call my mom. Each time I call or stop by, I always hope that maybe that time will be different, maybe something will have changed, maybe she’ll have some sort of break-through. It usually ends up the same way and even if all goes really well, it is as though the countdown to disaster has begun. It is only a http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/05/mothers-day-2015.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-2877738008382369151Thu, 07 May 2015 20:58:00 +00002015-05-07T13:58:13.275-07:00 I recently realized something new about my brain and how it works. It is something that has led to me and other people being frustrated. I didn't figure it out until fairly recently and haven't written about it yet because, well, I forgot. And that is the issue.  I don't actually forget things. As far as I know, I haven’t actually forgotten anything at all. Just a few weeks ago a http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/05/detour-through-my-mind.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-3197283483927194014Fri, 01 May 2015 16:19:00 +00002015-05-01T09:19:27.415-07:00 I can’t believe we have past the halfway point of the foster and adoption classes. Only four left to go and it seems to be flying by. The classes have been quite heavy at times, talking about all sort of horrible things that children go through and trying to get at least something of an understanding as to what it must be like to have to leave everything behind, take only what you can fit into http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-bit-further-down-road.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-6352399203441141510Thu, 09 Apr 2015 23:04:00 +00002015-04-09T17:19:39.817-07:00 John and I had our first class on fostering and adopting a couple of weeks ago. It was quite a bit different than what I expected. As silly as it sounds, I kind of had the image of a small group of us all sitting around in a circle on comfy chairs, maybe on the floor cuddling over-sized pillows while drinking a flavored coffee. Typing this now, it seems I had imagined more of a Lamaze class. http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/04/class-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-6842849157134617081Sat, 21 Mar 2015 03:13:00 +00002015-03-21T19:52:16.882-07:00 I have wanted to be a dad since I was in my mid-twenties. It was something I pretty much kept to myself as that was time when gay men weren’t fathers. It was something I wanted and knew I would never have. Like living on the Starship Enterprise or traveling through time. When I was married to Ulco, we talked about adopting someday and as happens, life gets in the way. I also liked being http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-next-big-step.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-8040270228121235009Tue, 17 Mar 2015 03:31:00 +00002015-03-20T20:52:55.925-07:00 Just over a week ago, I had my head shaved. I had done it many times before, but this time, things felt very different. I shaved my head for the St. Baldricks Foundation, to raise money for childhood cancer research. I heard about the organization and the event just a couple of weeks before it would all take place. I knew I didn’t have much time and I also knew that I had to be involved. I http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/03/getting-shaved.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-8425559394013979450Wed, 21 Jan 2015 17:39:00 +00002015-01-21T09:51:43.404-08:00 There has been quite a bit of talk about the gay agenda and the gay lifestyle lately and so, always being one to jump on a bandwagon, I decided to chime in. As I have a lot of friends who do not live a gay lifestyle, I am going to take a few minutes to describe mine, so they too can live one if they so choose. Since a lifestyle is a choice, I think it only fair that my straight friends have allhttp://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-so-called-lifestyle.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-5977550217338911133Mon, 19 Jan 2015 03:21:00 +00002015-01-18T19:22:07.235-08:00 “With great power comes great responsibility” – Voltaire Like so many people, I have been watching the news, horrified at the events in Paris. I watched the news reports, read the articles and opinion pieces while wondering what kind of world we live in in which these types of things seem to happen with frightening regularity. After the initial shock wore off, I started thinking about it a http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/01/freedom-of-speech.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-2426353793842233563Thu, 15 Jan 2015 16:40:00 +00002015-01-15T18:03:22.187-08:00 In November 2013, I wrote about relationships. I never showed this to anyone before now. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about relationships. Well, my relationships at least. I am enjoying being single at the moment. It gives me the opportunity to focus on my family and spend a lot of time with my niece and nephews. A friend of mine pointed out that being single right now lets me http://rselander.blogspot.com/2015/01/relationships-revisited.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18416819.post-8985579838569336704Tue, 25 Nov 2014 06:26:00 +00002014-11-24T22:26:42.041-08:00 For the last few years, I’ve been thinking a lot about life, the things that happen in our lives and how we respond to them. This has really been ramped up in the past few weeks due to heated discussions with my mom and the subsequent letters she decided to write my sister and I. I have spent a lot of time wondering why my mom is the way she is and why I am not like that. We both had difficult http://rselander.blogspot.com/2014/11/two-lives.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Robb)0